The Hawaii Chronicles Pt. V (Or, Getting Laughed At By Locals With 4WD)
Due to the height of Mauna Loa and Mauna Kea (the two highest volcano peaks on the Big Island), the island’s weather is drastically different from coast to coast. The east coast receives almost all of the rain, resulting in a lush and very green landscape. The west coast is much drier, and has some of the most stunning beaches in the world. We decided to spend half our time on the wet side and half on the dry, so Day Five was our transit day. Instead of taking the Saddle Road (we had already done that), we took the Hawaii Belt Road to the south. Along the way we stopped at Punalu’u Black Sand Beach - famous for sea turtle viewings.
Unfortunately, the only wildlife we saw was this goose:
We also stopped for this stunning and oddly Irish view.
Just past the village of Na’alehu, the one-lane South Point Rd. took us to - you guessed it - the south point of the island. The point is very windy and dry, which was an impressive contrast to the lushness we had experienced over the past few days.
At the very end of South Point Rd., there is a slightly sketchy trailhead with a hand-painted sign reading “Green Sand Beach”. The road it points to is outrageous - deep ruts and erosion make it impassable unless you had some sort of four-wheel drive vehicle. Consequently, there are numerous locals who hang out and offer rides to people lazier than us... But honestly, hiking is much better.
The hike follows the stunning coastline, and the vividness of the colours alone is enough to make you want to explore on foot.
But of course, there’s the gem at the end - a green sand beach. Seriously.
Olivine is a gemstone commonly formed during volcanic eruptions. This beach used to be a crater full of a rare pure olivine deposit, until the action of the ocean eroded away one side and deposited a swath of olivine sand on the other.
The sand is actually green. I couldn’t get over it.
On our way back, with the excitement wearing off, we noticed how truly dry it was. The dust caught in our noses and the locals laughed by us in their four wheel drive trucks. By the time we got back to the car, our legs looked like this:
After quick wipe down and a few sips from the trusty cooler, we headed to our accommodations in Kailua-Kona - but not before stopping for some lava field weather viewing:
When we finally made in to our Airbnb in Kona, we were in for an unpleasant surprise... We had booked several months in advance at a little place on Royal Poinciana Way, with sparkling reviews. However, contrary to the email sent to us by our host just days before, we arrived at a completely dark, locked house. With no cell service, we waited around for about an hour before heading to a payphone (luckily they still have those in Hawaii...). We called our host’s number and spoke to her “friend” who was in Hilo for the week. Confused and upset, all we could absorb from the conversation was the location of a hidden key.
Once inside, we settled into our room. Shortly after showering and eating, a couple of loud and botox-ed Oklahomans showed up. Turns out they weren’t the owners of the house (as they claimed), they were family members of our host. The older of the two talked our ears off for three hours about Oklahoma, her family of pharmacists, and how Trump seemed like a reasonable candidate for president because “he doesn’t owe anyone anything”. We had our Canadian education system compared to Mexico’s and our provinces referred to as “providences”. One of them chastised us for the fact that Canadian gas stations don’t accept American money (I wonder why...). And for the entirety of our stay we could not get away from the words ‘scripture’ and ‘gospel’. At one point I overheard a conversation about speaking in tongues...
On top of the complete disconnect in interests, dispositions, and worldviews between us and our hosts, we did not meet our actual host for the duration of our stay. On Day Seven we were asked to move rooms so that more family members could arrive. On Day Eight the four-bedroom, two bathroom house had 16 people in it - only six of them were paying guests and our host was nowhere to be found. By the time our stay was over, we couldn’t wait to leave. Moral of the story: don’t stay with Jolee if you’re going to Kailua-Kona!
One positive outcome of these unpleasant circumstances was our desire to get away from our accommodations - we were forced to explore as much of Hawaii for as long as possible each day. And, through it all, how can you really be that upset when you’re in Hawaii?
Up next, MANTA RAYS, coffee, palm trees and Aaron’s close encounter with a humuhumnukunukuapua’a.
