The Hourly Terrier

Nipping at the Heels of Bastardry

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Stephen Crabb Makes Young Girl Watch as he Steals Her Tree

Following his appointment as the Secretary for Work and Pensions, Stephen Crabb MP was in high spirits earlier today, and decided to celebrate his promotion by going out with his working-class Tory...

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Endangered Animals Need Protecting From Poor Hunters, Says Prince William

The future King of England and current Lord of Loafing – Prince William – has come forwards this past week to pledge his support for both protecting wildlife and sawing their heads off – explaining...

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Running The Benefits System Like “Keeping a Well-Trimmed Beard,” Says Crabb

Stephen Crabb - the newly appointed Secretary for Work and Pensions - has used his first speech in office to point out the similarities between trimming beard hair and culling the unfortunate – the...

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Cameron Puzzled by Political Rivals Using Politics to Win at Politics

Although David Cameron understands that Iain Duncan Smith and himself are rivals, and that IDS has been the face of some of their most unpopular cuts, and that they are both employed in the dirty b...

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Spontaneous Street Parties Celebrate The Demise of Iain Duncan Smith

Following Iain Duncan Smith’s cynical self-immolation of his front-bench career, the nation of Great Britain has woken up that little bit greater this morning, and the citizens of our green and ple...

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Iain Duncan Smith Resigns to Spend More Time With His Secret Basement Family

Iain Duncan Smith, a.k.a. ‘The Grime Reaper,’ a.k.a. ‘The Benefits Ripper,’ a.k.a. ‘The Fifth Pigman of the Apocalypse’ has shocked everyone this evening by resigning from his position as the Tory’...

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Jeremy Irons Accidentally Eats Live Cat in Interview

It seemed like the BBC had hit another all time low earlier today, when Jeremy Irons accidentally uttered an expletive during a live interview – the veteran thespian lacking the common decency to h...

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Osborne Draws Blank When Interviewer Asks Him to List His Achievements

George Osborne has suffered another humiliating radio interview today – a catastrophe which ensued when the Chancellor was asked to list what he thought his greatest achievements were - a question ...

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Unemployed IDS Sanctioned by DWP Because he ‘Looks Like a C*nt’

Although Iain Duncan Smith has only been unemployed for about fifty minutes or so, the former Minister for Manslaughter has already incurred his first sanction from his former department – the DWP ...

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The Rich Still Celebrating Victory Over The Disabled

More than 24 hours after George Osborne announced that he would be using the cash he liberated from disabled people to fund a tax break for high earners, the rich people who benefit from this move ...

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‘Kinder Eggs’ Literally Lain by German Children

Germany has found itself in its biggest shit-storm since you-know-what today - following the shock revelation that the country's number one export - 'Kinder Eggs' - are literally being lain by Germ...

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First-Time Crack Users Made to Smoke The Entire Rock as Punishment

In an effort to implement more of the petty, ill thought-out & ineffectual punishments that the Tory party are known for (petty, ill thought-out, and ineffectual punishments like fining homeles...

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POLL - Who do You Think Benefits The Most From The 2016 Budget?

So far, the Conservative Party's budgets have mainly - and in some instances exclusively - benefitted the rich. But there's no reason to think that every one of their budgets will be like that. Unl...