the inner workings

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[memewhore]

[hotbritishguyspluscats]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture that so fully summed up what it is to be a cat owner. 

[theinnerworkings]

This is my life.

[wannajoke]

Retail Work: Before and After

[theinnerworkings]

Yep. This.

[depressioncomix]

192 [tw: suicidal ideation]

[theinnerworkings]

I am very grateful that I am not in this state of mind now, but this exact scenario has played in my head so many times I can't count. Thankful for feeling... good.

[depressioncomix]

182

[theinnerworkings]

So true. There've been many days like this in my past.

[theinnerworkings]

I feel so lost. I don't know where I fit in this world. I don't know what I believe about anything anymore.

Yes, I grew up in the church, became a Christian when I was 12, lived the life of a good little girl. Now that I am not an innocent little girl anymore, things have changed. 

Everything I grew up believing no longer makes sense. All those quaint sayings about God not giving you more than you can handle, about how our circumstances and situations shape us, it all feels like bull. 

Every once in a while, I experience what can probably be described as hope. I start to think that things are making sense, that there is a new day coming. Then the darkness comes and it's all gone.

Maybe I can no longer believe because I can no longer feel.

[worldofwhump]

So true.

[theinnerworkings]

Weekend from Hell

I had a four day weekend off from work. Planned well in advance, I was supposed to make my way up to Wisconsin to visit. I haven't been there since I moved over 4 months ago. 

I haven't left the house in 3 days. Every time I think about going somewhere, all I want to do is crawl back in bed and bury myself under blankets. 

Turns out this stupid depression is stronger than my desire to see people I really miss… stronger than my will to even function normally.

I just sit in the dark with background noise on, not really paying attention to the movie that's playing. 

I feel… not really alive. Like I'm here but not really here, you know?

Update: I did make myself go out for a little bit. I was itching to get back to my dungeon as quickly as I could. It was miserable.

[tithegirl]

This is the truthest truth in the history of truths.

[theinnerworkings]

So accurate. So truthy.

[lollittaaa]

where have the good days gone? I feel like I’m drowning in all of this, I see all the other people crossing by, I see them smiling, I reach my hand out for help, I scream, but nobody hears me.

(via lollittaaa)

[theinnerworkings]

Disjointed Thoughts

Just a few things running through my head…

I just don’t know why I bother. Every time I put my trust in someone, they let me down. Like big time. 

I don’t know who I am anymore. What makes me, me? I thought moving to a new city, I could figure that out. Or reinvent myself. But that hasn’t happened, and I don’t see that happening anytime soon. I don’t have an identity anymore.

I’m trying to find something to ground me. I’ll let you know how that goes. 

Sometimes, my cats are the only thing that keep me going. I worry about what would happen to them if I weren’t here. (Crazy cat lady alert.)

Do you ever feel like you’re too lost to find your way back to where you need to be? Too broken to be fixed? Yeah, me too. 

[ipatoz]

[tryingtoleavemycage]

[theinnerworkings]

Too late. I don't know how to exist without it. 

[learning-2love-myself]

do you ? | instagram on We Heart It http://weheartit.com/entry/101929019/via/NothingStaysForever

[societalreject]

[jessiedoodles]

[thefrogman]

Reasons to get a Pet by Jessie Doodles [tumblr]

[oxyhaemoglobin]

have you ever been in one of those moods where you just want to grab everything and rip it from the walls and break everything because you feel broken and you want to scream and kick and cry because nothing feels right and it’s all wrong and you don’t feel right and i don’t know anymore. 

[no-ua]

and then you realize that you’re not in a movie and you’d have to clean it up yourself so you don’t

[theinnerworkings]

I've experienced this MANY times.

[sundaypostsecrets]

Secret from PostSecret.com