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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

#extradirty
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
ojovivo
trying on a metaphor
occasionally subtle
will byers stan first human second
Today's Document

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taylor price
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Claire Keane
Peter Solarz

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blake kathryn

oozey mess
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@thejessicapearson
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Well, it happened. I managed to trick 500 of you little bastards into thinking I’m not a complete asshole and actually have a modicum of talent. Jokes on you, you fucks. To rub salt in the wound of this betrayal, I’ve decided to suck you in further, to perhaps convince you yet again that I do love you and it was just this one girl this one time baby, promise, by offering you pretty shiny graphic things and other stuff. Pay attention. I’ll not be repeating myself, even if you do threaten to stay overnight at your mothers.
Household chores, because no one likes picking up after other people:
follow me
reblog this. likes don’t count - i’m awkward and shallow and desperate for love. i don’t give a fuck if you like it.
everything’s picked at random, no bitching, no whining, and ab-slut-lutely no shaming if you aren’t a winner. nobody likes a lil’ bitch.
The flowers I bought at the gas station across the street from my work:
the wife (first place): A pretty, pretty 500x200 banner promo of why I like your blog, if I think about you in the showe— wait. No. Sorry. Just if I like your blog. As well as a pack of 15 100x100 icon set of your FC (or a fc of your choice - might need your skype to send it), a drabble (let’s say 1000 words cause, as we’ve already established, but your ass doesn’t seem to comprehend, I am a piece of shit) about whatever you want, and a mystery bonus item that you define. So you can pick your poison huehuehuehuehue.
the mistress (second place): Two packs of icons of your FC/FC of your choice, and a drabble about your muse, our muses, the chick across the street’s muses - hell, the muses from Hercules, if you fancy it.
the secretary (third place): You get nothing. I just really liked the analogy of cheating on a spouse….. Just kidding. I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that honey, you know as soon as the divorce is through — sorry. If you’re still reading and haven’t just mindlessly reblogged this because stuff, third place gets you a pack of 15 icons of your FC/FC of your choice.
And that’s all you need to know, really. Also, I forgot to add when it ends: So. Let’s say midnight of the 25th, EST. January. Learn to love me better.
Please don’t leave me.
making crime pay
He doesn’t like lawyers. Ambulance chasers, his mother used to call them; scumbags is the more colourful moniker used by his sister. Mostly, the legal tiptoeing drives him insane, and company man he may be, he doesn’t enjoy knowing there are lives on the line waiting while someone draws up a ten page spread about terms and conditions. Jessica Pearson is of the more tolerable kind — but still a lawyer.
"Jessica, you’re looking warpath-like as usual." His smile is polite but drawn. Perks of being a higher ranking agent: wrestling with the bottom dwellers. "Which incident are we talking about? Berlin, Madrid or Westchester?"
Jessica enjoyed her occasional meeting with the agent, finding him more understanding of the situation than, say, Stark had been the last time she'd tried to speak with the man.
She settled on the seat and crossed her legs at the ankle. "I've already dealt with Berlin, and my second in command is dealing with Westchester. We had the contracts drawn up for the damage the president claimed was excessive and caused by the Avengers, but several bystanders who decided that first-hand video footage was more important than their own lives are talking about filing for emotional hardship."
its happening
#it’s been awhile since we’ve had a good apocalypse
(So the world's gonna end the day before I'm twenty.)
making crime pay
Jessica walked over to Phil's office, knocking once before letting herself in. She wasn't able to access every part of the SHIELD base, but being senior legal consultant for the governmental branch certainly granted the lawyer some privileges.
"Phil, I need to talk to you about the numbers for the recent incident," she said, smiling softly and gesturing towards the seat in front of his desk. "Now would be excellent, if you could. We might have a lawsuit on our hands."
Gina Torres stars in The Right Shoe
I've been busy.
Now I’m marginally less busy.
And I need a drink.
I am about three seconds away from making entirely uncharacteristic grabby hands.
I find myself wanting to wait those three seconds just to see such once in a blue moon event.
You wouldn't.
Mike and Jessica
And there Jessica was. She’d been winning over a client to a less than ideal settlement- for them, anyway, it was better than they could have logically hoped for, given the circumstances- only a few blocks away, so it hadn’t taken her long to get to the bar.
“Nice suit.” She commented, sipping her drink.
Mike almost choked on the drink he had ordered. Jessica’s presence caught him by surprise. She was, as per usual, wearing a very elegant dress that was no doubt for the benefit of a client. It reminded Mike of Harvey’s ‘dress to impress’ rule. Maybe he’d gotten it from her? “Oh! Well, thanks. Harvey’s tailor made it for me.” Forced was more like it, but to admit to being forced to dress good to your boss would be a mistake.
“So.. where’s Harvey? I thought you were drinking with him too?”
"I thought it had Rene's look." She nodded, settling in the chair next to him. She raised an eyebrow. "I don't recall mentioning him- contrary to his belief, not everything is about him." Jessica said.
"I believe I said something about you really going to law school, actually. And us needing to discuss it. I have made an executive decision- you are a commodity we cannot lose." She said, seriously. "A commodity I do not want to lose, but without the proper schooling, not only are you a danger to the firm, you're too soft. You're going to make too many mistakes- because it doesn't always come down to the facts in our line of work. Pearson Hardman will pay for you to go to really go to Harvard, as soon as you have a college degree. Which you will be getting on your own back, while continuing to work for Harvey."
I've been busy.
Now I’m marginally less busy.
And I need a drink.
I am about three seconds away from making entirely uncharacteristic grabby hands.
I've been busy.
Now I'm marginally less busy.
And I need a drink.
Sorry. I was expecting an… older man I could barely understand, instead you’re a charming individual I already find interesting.
I didn’t mean to be confusing.
Well, as young as ever.
What can I do for you?
That's usually my line.
We can’t have the rest see you break a sweat.
Who said I sweat?
Exactly. It is nonexistent.
Entirely.
Like a mythical event. It has passed into the stuff of legends.
Mm. It'd better.
Mike and Jessica
She turned back to look at him, and raised an eyebrow. “The place I took you to dinner has a bar. Meet me there in two hours, and we can talk then.” Jessica span on her heel and continued out the building, smiling to herself a little.
With Jessica’s back turned to him, Mike felt free to mouth “Oh my god” in complete bewilderment. He froze like a stone for a few seconds before realizing that he’d actually exaggerated the ability to finish his work in two hours, and that Jessica would shoot daggers at him if she ever found out, a thought which sent Mike clamoring for his bike and rushing through Manhattan’s traffic to get home.
This new-found inspiration gave Mike the energy to soldier past most of the work in an hour and a half. Everything was done and put away except one folder, and he thought he could manage to cram it in the morning. They were, after all, going to a bar, and drinking wakes him up at odd hours.
Mike stretched, showered, and put on his best suit in an amazingly short time, even for him. He took a cab to the restaurant so his suit wouldn’t get ruined, and headed straight for the bar, hoping Jessica wasn’t there yet.
And there Jessica was. She'd been winning over a client to a less than ideal settlement- for them, anyway, it was better than they could have logically hoped for, given the circumstances- only a few blocks away, so it hadn't taken her long to get to the bar.
"Nice suit." She commented, sipping her drink.
thejessicapearson replied to your post: Evening, Donna.
Well, I wouldn’t say easy. I certainly make it look that way.
We can’t have the rest see you break a sweat.
Who said I sweat?
Exactly. It is nonexistent.
Entirely.
thejessicapearson replied to your post: Evening, Donna.
Well, I wouldn’t say easy. I certainly make it look that way.
We can’t have the rest see you break a sweat.
Who said I sweat?
Oh, you’re in no way disappointing.
You’re giving me mixed signals here.
Sorry. I was expecting an... older man I could barely understand, instead you're a charming individual I already find interesting.
I didn't mean to be confusing.