During everyone’s life there is one particular person who is ignored by everyone for no reason due to GROUPISM.
Groupism is like for Example:
“When people socialize around in Schools/Colleges/Societies etc., make friends and when many friends come together, a group is created but these groups have some Terms and conditions in simple language they should match the same vibe.
So, there are a few introverts who do match the same vibe but are ignored because they are a little different than others.”
Just because you want to get accepted in their group, you are expected to change your ways and mannerisms, which are so unlike yourself? Will changing make you as cool as them or rather even more? Why can't you get accepted just the way you are is this true friendship?
My friend they don’t even care about the way you behave or not, but yeah Sometimes being yourself wouldn’t let you enter the so-called popular group you want to but at the end of the day, you are being yourself!
Bro Life is not a movie that you keep on Acting and becoming someone else throughout your life that will make you forget who you are!
And why are you doing this?
Have you thought about it this way, if you wanted someone to change for you would they do it in the first place? And in case you had been silly enough to change and mould yourself just to be accepted are they still going to be with you forever? Moreover, your changing is just going to keeping reminding you constantly about how you lost your ability to decide things for yourself when it comes to deciding which movie to watch, choosing a dish to eat, go around shopping as per his fashion style your so-called popular group follows.
Let’s assume you both had a fight with any of the members of your superficial popular group up to a level you don’t even want to look at any one of them, you will be left with nothing but bitterness all your life because you by now have lost all you decision making powers and forgotten your likes and dislikes.
But as you decided to change yourself for him your personality doesn’t belong to you then whenever you do anything you will start remembering that ungrateful friend which will either make you emotional all the time or just angry.
Like lets takes a basic Example:
You are getting ready for a date and
Deciding what you must wear., you try to imitate that someone else instead of following your instincts and dressing up weird! Due to this silly behaviour, you start getting these flashbacks which ends up spoiling your mood.
Rather If you were yourself, you would follow the fashion you like you would not spoil your mood before the date.
So being yourself is just a solution to all your problems,
Let us go into detail and talk about it from the perspective of a student:
Let us call it
The Art of Being yourself from the perspective of a Student:
So, a person starts changing from the very moment he faces the real world out there.
When a kid is about 3 to 4 years, he is enrolled in a play school where that kid socializes for the very first time.
And that is the first step on the ladder of peer pressure.
For example
In every play school, this is a kid who is damn popular in class because his parents are rich and the teachers notice all the branded stuff he carries and starts being a little soft around him but others who come from rich or poor parents those who can't afford to give these royalties to their children so that's where the child starts building his self-confidence and at the same time starts losing it as he keeps struggling to compete with his peers.
Now let’s talk about when he enters school,
That’s the place where he makes friends and starts understanding the meaning of talent and competition.
That’s the age where kids study for the very first time and face the first monster in life known as EXAMS!
So this is the time where you are beginning to get judged for the first time on the basis of your grades by your teachers.
How much ever they say nobody is judging the child, deep inside every child knows he is being judged.
I personally am against with the concept of exams and the rote learning that follows.
Everyone has to face the same type of examination, even though everyone is different.
For example,
Let’s imagine there is a school filled with a Fish , an Elephants , a Monkey and a Bird .
And there is an examination on the subject of climbing a tree .
As obvious A Bird will come First then a Monkey will come second but Elephants and Fishes will fail why because they have different qualities in them as an Elephant will top in the subject of weightlifting whereas a fish will excel in underwater swimming.
So how come students are tested in just one standard uniform manner?
it’s just not fair !!
So my point here is students are being burdened with this competitive , judgemental and so very monotonous grading system most of the schools in our country follow .
In India education system has neither education nor does it have a system that suits everybody’s intellectual levels and skills .
Each one of us are not born geniuses but some are gifted in some other skills which we should be taught to bank on in school it self .
That encouragement the child will get at that tender age will give him the confidence which could change the whole direction of his thoughts and boost to form the basics of the decision he takes to build his career .
But Unfortunately it doesn’t happen and the child struggles till the end of his education still unsure about his choice of the right career .
Now let’s talk about when a Student becomes a teenager.
The time where he gets the most Best and Worst gadgets of his life a smart phone !
But the Best Part about a phone is you can explore yourself more and you can use it for informative proposes and for chilling , playing games , chatting with your friends etc.
But.
Here comes the part where peer pressure is involved that’s Social Media.
Instagram , Snap Chat and various other social media platforms .
Social media is damn fun like if we use it properly and the way we want to .
Like there are now rules and regulations are created between friendships if full fulfil them u may enter my group .
As per concerned to Social Media ever week there is a new trend going on and to be honest they are damn cool watch and damn funny .
But few people add Terms and conditions to their friendship as to , one should make a reel on that particular trend for us to become friends or rather your Instagram should have followers as that’s considered cool and trendy , the amount of likes one should get and all rubbish of that sort is simply sheer bullshit! You are just between the age of 13 to 17 achieved nothing in life as yet and you have so many conditions to be friends . My reply to all these kind of people is please stay away from all this nonsense in life because this situation can tend to get toxic But simultaneously snatching someone’s self confidence and personality away by such unfriendly peers can totally crush and tear you apart
it’s damn hard to gather yourself from this situation back again
And yes few fulfil these conditions unwillingly just to become a part of this rat race but they have to do whatever their un friendly peers make them do .
And why are we even referring to them as “ Peers “ they are just using you as lab rats as no true friend would do that .
Let’s talk about the Dark side of socializing.
A guy may have a pretty good amount of friends in school and to have fun with and to create fantastic memories .
But after graduating from school everyone parts their ways in a good sense to study hard and to build their careers .
A few true ones keep in touch , few choose to ignore you some stay with you for their own selfish reasons without any true affection towards you .
Those who ignored that guy probably ignored him as he didn’t fit in their so called cool and trendy group which they probably thought was the right and the best for their age the rest who are not like them are probably the studious geeks , kiddish or idiots .
This is the group that starts Drinking , Smoking , Vaping and begin to do various other kinds of stuff .
According to them that guy was a loser because he strongly rejected to consume such stuff .
This guy is sweetly rejected “Bro Tu daaru wagera kuch peeta nahi , tu humare sath aake kya karega”.
He walks away with self respect and that was exactly the right thing to do spending time with such useless friends would have done no good to him and his preferences and choices he made for his life .
Choosing to become “A Kabir Singh “ was never to difficult but the strength in his character and his up bringing helps him make the right choice in life .
Yes ! he is human too and he feels bad too but time teaches him that his decisions were perfect and he is on the right track protecting his self worth
However difficult it was to deal with moving away from old school friends knowing making new friendships at this stage is not a cake walk it felt still better and lighter life goes on smoothly even while you are not a part of the unwanted gang ! That guy never looses his focus makes new friends finds new hobbies while the gang is still enveloped in smoke and still drenched in alcohol .
Now he feels proud that he didn’t change at that point of his life .
As today he is amongst his true friends for life .
So Being Yourself is the best step towards self development and growing up
And the real maturity comes only when you are truly ready for it with all your heart
And getting to this stage is what I call The Art of Being Yourself.