To Protect, Create & Belong

A blog based around a homebrew D&D game, and other fantasy stories.

[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

Crow Black A The Cycle Of Abuse

I'm always disappointed that Crow Black didn't get much of an appearance during the campaign, but I do very much like her character. Her lore is a bit complicated in that she is also multiple other characters and reincarnations. The key point to her lore is that she is cursed to be reborn over and over, always to die by drowning. The idea behind that, according to her creator, was that without intervention, she would continually return to her abuser - Despite the fact that Crow is continually trying to run from him and spite him. Its the fact that in one way or another, she is refusing to what happened to her go.

That's not to say that one is invalid or wrong for being angry over their abuse, or in someway they need to forgive their abuser and pretend their abuse didn't happen. Its more the point that whether you choose to let your abuse keep you helpless or you choose to chase revenge, both are unhealthy choices. In Crow's case, the first half of her reincarnations genuinely wanted to help her abuser, The Lost Prince, get better.

Crow's first incarnation, Ophelia Nix, was genuinely in love with the Prince and truly believed she could save him despite the harm he was causing her and others. When she finally saw she couldn't save someone who did not want to be saved, that was when The Prince cursed them both to be forever reborn and at odds. From that point onwards, Crow is continually trying to escape the curse but refuses to let go of either hope that The Prince would improve or the hate she has for him. Because of this, she succumbs to the curse every time.

By her 100th reincarnation, Crow is entirely consumed by her hate for The Prince and it makes her reckless, even even ends up abandoning anyone that doesn't jump to villainize the Prince immediately. It isn't that The Prince isn't a villain, he very much is, but anyone that tries to help Crow move on is put on par with him.

Magik in Trolldininia works best when both parties have a strong belief in it, so the more Crow tries to fight again what she believes is some irremovable problem, the more true that becomes. It would take an extremely long time, but freeing herself is entirely possible for Crow, but to her its more 'just' and 'right' to continue hating The Prince and spiting him. Her identity is now built around revenge, and without that hate she has no idea who she is or how to live.

Crow's creator uses Crow's story as a sort of mantra to herself. She could very easily live like Crow, forever dedicating herself to someone that hurt her, on way or another, or she could let go. Acknowledge what happened to her, that it wasn't her fault and it did change who she is, but she has the power to change herself too. Its a bit of a pity that that was never fully explored in the campaign.

[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

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[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

Visit Original Link

[camelidae]

While wild house dragons are considered pests for their felonious attraction to fine jewelry and silverwear, many a rich socialite these days can be seen with their domestic cousin in her pocket, protecting her valuables and looking fashionably adorable.

[undercatt3000-deactivated202603]

Finished up another character portrait for my party! This one took the longest but I love how it turned out. Part 4/6 :)

[ruinemade]

Dragon designs

Anatomy exploration, taking inspiration from various animal physiology. A mix of feline, canine, snake, lizard and bird-like features.

[crimson-chains]

New render style with my star boys ^^ Just super somft~~~

[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

River Crossing

Vantas sits comfortably by the campfire, tending to it with a long stick. He is at least a far cry more comfortable than his unusual companion, who seems to want to stay as far away from the flames as possible, occasionally fussing his hair into and out of braid. Vantas still can’t get used to just looking at him – A waterfolk, a full blooded one, sitting right next to him. Though, he supposes where ever Halyx had originated from, he wasn’t such a rarity. He supposes that same place didn’t have Ashbloods either, though that hardly made it different from him home.

“If you keep tuggin’ at your hair, it’ll all fall out,” Eventually he speaks up, gruff and irritated but only just. He’s more tired than anything. They’ve been wandering around The Corridor for what feels like days, but its hard to tell with no sunlight. Halyx either ignores the rogue or doesn’t hear him, just staring at the dirt between his boots, muttering something with enough speed to give away his anxiety. “Is your mind waterlogged? I’m talking to you – Halyx!”

“What? Sorry.” He doesn’t even flinch, Halyx just looks up, still partly in a daze but let’s go of his hair. “I was just – Thinking.”

“No shit. You looked about ready to fry your own skull.”

“I’m serious-“ “So am I,” “- I’m thinking, what if we can’t get back? What if… What if we’re stuck here, in Gods only knows where? What if we ended somewhere else? I mean, I don’t even know how we got here to begin with –“ “Will you shut up?” “- Do you want me to answer you or not?!”

Vantas snaps his mouth shut with a scowl, but his ears flatten to his bird’s nest hair and his tail flickers. For a brief second, he sounded like Calliope and that’s enough to twist his stomach into submission, he sees enough of her in his white lines, itched into his glittering skin just likes hers. There’s brief pause between them, the fire dances but doesn’t crackle, something exclusively unsettling to The Corridor – The silence. But it makes Halyx’s point clear, they don’t know how they got there, they don’t know what happened or how to get back or where they are even going, just that they need to keep moving.

“We will get back. You’ll get back to your stream, and I’ll get back to mine.”

“But how?”

“We just will! That’s all that matters – Fuck!” In frustration, Vantas throws the stick into the fire, just to have some destruction, something to control. He leaps out of his seat and takes a step back, sharp fangs bared. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t. But we will. We have to.” He gets quiet, tugs at the red scarf around his throat to loosen it and run his thumb over the violet cord knotted tight around his neck, around his body, keeping him together. He doesn’t need to say anything for Halyx to understand. They have to get back, they have people waiting for them.

[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

"Do you think I asked for this - That I wanted this? Brothers and sisters slaughtered, only because cruel love swore it was mercy!"

- King Systemia to Nythr, Ten Thousand Stars.

[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

Adam's Ale

Vantas takes in a deep breath and counts.

It’s hard to keep track of all the numbers, it’s harder to keep still. There’s something foreign and animal in his chest, slipping its hind legs into his muscles, his claws into his nails, his fangs through his gums. He wants to run, he needs to, but he stays put. He stays put because he’s an Erin, he’s Wilhelm’s son and this shanty town of town sheets and torn apart families is relying on him. He can’t summon magik, he can’t hold a crossbow or a sword but all these gaunt faces are expecting him to return the sun to them. Crow makes a face, her hand slips over his like water over stone and for that reason alone he flinches. They don’t get along, but they understand what its like to have a purpose you didn’t ask for. So they keep each other in check, they make sure the other is always looking at the map table, at the point of Captain Sunbae’s knife dragging over rendezvous spots and lists of informants. And when the crashing waves in his head slip away from the shore, the senior members of the resistance turn to him for a decision.

But he doesn’t know how to make one.

He tugs his father’s scarf from his neck, swallows the seafoam in his throat and drifts away from himself. He cannot be a Briar here. Being a Briar is selfish, its gets people killed, it gets people thrown over balconies into the sea, without a goodbye – It leaves people behind. He’s an Erin, he has to be an Erin.

He draws closer to the table, studies it, recalls what whispers he’d traded things for, stole things for, killed things for. He makes a choice, there’s some debate, but ultimately an agreement. He wants to argue, he wants someone to argue, to tell him he’s wrong, this is madness, this is suicide, its drowning. He’s a boy, he’s just a boy, there’s still four solstices before he is a man , and even then he doesn’t think he can sail them to freedom when he is.  But no one says anything, not to him at least, not to the child choking down rapids. They murmur and refine his suggestions, his choice, moulding it like clay from the river, moulding him like clay from the river.

There’s too much spit in his mouth, too many words, too much of everything.

They dismiss him, he needs his rest; tomorrow is a big day.

The day after is a big day.

The day after is a big day.

He hopes it rains, it hopes it torrents down, hopes it floods, hopes the valley at the foot of this mountain pours a glacier over his head so he looks just as underwater as he feels. So he lets the thought go, he lets it float away over the horizon, at least some part of him can leave. Crow calls down the lane, its supper time. The animal in his body stills, not relaxed but not alert, just there. It can’t swim, this whole ordeal might sink it. Vantas hopes not – He hopes so.

Vantas takes in a deep breath and counts.

[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

Calliope DeMarco: A study on grief.

One of the things I loved about Calliope is that she is a brilliant example of what it's like to go through grief. Her mother, King Systemia, is supposed to be symbolic of two things: a toxic relationship and the acceptance of death. I think when you view Systemia's story as the acceptance of death, she fits with Calliope as dealing with grief really well.

Calliope grows up knowing her mother is terminally ill, Systemia completely accepts the inevitable and tries to pass on on her own terms, but at every point, Calliope underminds this. She's had total control over her parents since her adoption, and when the campaign begins, she's only just turned 18. Systemia wanted their family day at The Festival of Cups to be their final goodbye as well as Calliope's first day as an independent adult, but she immediately refuses and sneaks out of the castle, only be seperated from her family for the entire campaign.

At the final battle, the whole party, but more critically, Calliope is given a choice: She can either accept that her mother is suffering and wants to move on, or she can prolong Systemia's agony for her own comfort. Calliope does pick to fight against her own party to keep her mother alive, against her wishes and best interests. And that's what I adore. She may be legally an adult, but she's always behaved like a child, and when faced with a heavy and real-world choice, she refuses. She won't let go of her mother and understandably so. However, she also won't acknowledge that her choice is overriding her mother's autonomy and causing serious pain. She also blames anything else besides the thing that is actually killing Systemia.

She blames Vantas for dealing the killing blow, she blames Nythr and Leon for not fighting with her, she blames Zachariah for comforting Systemia's grieving brother and not her, and she blames her father for accepting that death is what Systemia has chosen.

Even after Systemia is defeated, Calliope disbands from the party and cuts off contact with her remaining family and her friends. She isolates herself and tries to 'save' her mother through smuggling Ashbloods into the City of Theives. Her epilogue continues to ignore that Systemia is not coming back, but there are people who are going through the same grief that want to help Calliope.

The epilogue picks up when Calliope would be around 30-40 years old, and by then, she has missed her father's wedding, refused an invitation to Vantas and Leon's wedding and lost the latter two as lovers. She's angry and bitter, going so far as the be completely vast out from her final connection to her mother; The Ashblood traditional religion, The Old Ways.

There is absolutely hope for Calliope to grieve in a healthy way and reconnect with the people she's lost, but I think it would be incredibly difficult for her to do so. Because Calliope's creator has ADHD-Autism Calliope does by default, and Calliope's ability to hold a grudge and black and white justice is going to be a massive hurdle that I look forward to her overcoming for this instance.

My heart does break for Calliope. She learned a very cruel way that she was not in as much control of the things and people around her as she thought she was. Watching her throughout the campaign try to influence and control her party members, her family, and even the story itself was fascinating but fruitless, and I think that growing panic really added to her character.

[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

'When I die, cast me into the sea. I want to become rain. I want to wash away your tears and kiss your face forever.'

- Zacharia to Saint, 'Hannini'

[zmeess]

commission for @idbedelighted, her tiefling warlock Nemeia with her tressym familiar Pasha! this commission was a double serving of awesomeness because i got to draw a person embroidering (one of my hobbies that i unfortunately have not done in a long while), and a cat, which are always a pleasure and a challenge to draw 🐱 thank you for commissioning me!

[kittyopteryx]

@pangur-and-grim

[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

"There is a light at the end of the tunnel, Vantas - You almost married her."

- First Mate Ruby to Vantas, Sickle Bones

[jdragsky]

"Immediately captivating and effortlessly charming, Wanderhome is the perfect blend of whimsy, heart and the spirit of adventure. Who knew a game about being on the road could feel so much like home?" — Brennan Lee Mulligan, Dimension 20

[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

A reminder to edit and post the Nythr analysis.

[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

I think the phrase "If you die, you will take me with you." is going to haunt me for the rest of my life and it's from a God damn Saint x Zac piece.