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@thekingofcincinnati-blog
Well, I have been M.I.A. and I am soooo sorry. Been lost in my own little world. How’s everyone?
“Life gets hectic, what’re you gonna do? But I’m okay - the same ol’ song ‘n dance. Sore ‘n most likely tired. How ‘bout you, Lana?”
Hello everyone. How are all the other night owls, doing tonight?
“Awake when they shouldn’t be. What’s new with you, huh?”
“I can agree to that. Deal. No, but it’s not that far away if you think about it. Hah, you just called it cute. You think it’s cute. You’re right though. We don’t really need an excuse. Now that I do think about it, I don’t think I’ve been kissed today.”
“It’s less than ten weeks away, ain’t it? I guess that’s closer than what I initially thought - Jesus Christ.. Nah, you’re takin’ words outta my mouth and twistin’ ‘em around, sweetheart. Don’t play me like that. Well, ain’t that a crime?” He asked with a small smile, leaning down to her and stealing a few pecks from her lips, some from her cheek and jaw.
“I know what you mean. His breed’s usually chunky anyway. Oh I don’t know, I think I’m the lucky one because I get to see this side of you. Mm, just you wait until the holidays. I’m covering the house in mistletoe.”
“Good. How ‘bout we’re both allowed to say that we’re lucky ‘n call it a deal? You’re already plannin’ for Christmas? Babe, we don’t need mistletoe or whatever it’s called. Since when did we need some cute, little excuse to.. play tonsil hockey, huh?”
“I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t sore.. ‘feels like I’ve aged ‘bout a hundred years this past week. But that’s enough ‘bout me, why don’t you tell me how your week’s been, huh?”
“Now that my new place is pretty much all put together, I’m thinking it needs to be broken in a little. Maybe with a house warming of sorts… Anyone gonna be in Florida next weekend? I’m thinking of having a Halloween bash.”
“Mm.. I’m thinkin’ I might be. Is there gonna be alcohol at this Halloween thing? ‘Cause in that case, I’ll definitely make an effort to come.”
“Well yeah, it’s abuse. They’d be hurting their little legs carrying around all that extra weight. No, I didn’t forget. Yes, you were a street dog in the indies because you were kissing all the girls and humping all the air. I’ve seen your old promos and shit.”
“Well, I’m not sayin’ that I’m gonna feed ‘em to the point of obesity, just enough to get ‘em kinda chunky, y’know what I mean? I guess that’s a very kind way to describe my career in the indies, just remind me again how lucky I am to have you.”
“Alright, serious opinions now. What do you guys think about the Fearless Lock?”
“Pretty kick ass if you ask me. ‘Looked way more brutal than Cena’s STFU or whatever it’s called. Impressive, Bella, when’d you come up with that one?”
“I meant for a PG company, it was a bit much. I’m surprised they even let me say ‘sexual’, alright? No, I meant more along the lines of my family tuning to see me in a team called ‘roughriders’ and having to explain to my super Arab parents what the joke is. That’s more what I care about, than being considered crazy, eh. I mean, I think we’re all kinda sick in the head anyway. Yeah, I feel like there would be, too, but we’ll see what happens down the track. Maybe we’ll get to wrestle at survivor series as part of the smackdown vs raw bit, eh?”
“Which is a real shame, ‘cause I feel like we could all be so much more badass if it weren’t for the kiddos. Man, are you serious? It’s like we come from different planets, yet we function so well as a team. Kinda interestin’ when you think ‘bout it. I heard, I’m pretty excited, though I hope I’ll be ‘round for it. I guess they want me in another movie ‘n I’m not sure when they’re gonna put me on hiatus for that. If I can at least watch the match, then I guess I’ll be happy.”
“Keep feeding him scraps and he’ll be a fat mutt. Deal, I’ll find the perfect little leather jacket for him. Oh my gosh! You are not a street dog. Shut up. You’re too chill to be a street dog.”
“Isn’t that animal abuse? I thought I heard some know-it-all tell me that feedin’ your dogs ‘til they’re chunky is abuse, which makes no sense - does that sound right to you? Renee, did you forget ‘bout who you fell for, huh? They didn’t call me a street dog in the indies for nothin’.”
“None taken. I’ve had an attitude problem since I was in the womb, seems a little late in the game to bother trying to fix it now. That has yet to be determined seeing as I can’t see it myself at the moment and I’m stuck in a neck brace for the foreseeable future, but as soon as I know, you’ll be the first person I brag to. Oh, yeah, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve been allowed in a ring, and there’s still no certainty they’re ever going to let me back in a WWE ring, but we’ll see, eh? Well, like with most things, Dusty wasn’t wrong. That’s actually not a horrible Halloween costume idea, though, if you’re still looking for one, that is. You’re welcome.”
“Well, ‘least you can admit it, right? I think that’s half the battle. By all means, ‘cause I’ll wanna see it if that’s the case. I have an odd fascination with that sorta thing, but I’m sure everyone who knows me knows that already. I guess that’s true, whether or not you get released, I’ll be watchin’ out for you, man. You’re a fuckin’ great wrestler ‘n that’s somethin’ the company can’t take away from you, yeah? Dusty was a mastermind - too sweet to be sour! Kinda find myself missin’ him more days than some.. I might consider it. I still dunno if I wanna dress up this year or not, I didn’t last year, but who knows?”
“Oh please, like you don’t spoil him. A big chain? I don’t know. Maybe. Or a little leather jacket. He doesn’t seem to like dressing up much. Clearly takes after you.“
“I only spoil ‘em with table scraps, ‘cause I want ‘em to be a massive mutt when he grows up. Okay, you might have me with the leather jacket. As long as you can find one that he can move ‘round in. Are you kiddin’ me? ‘Course he takes after me. He knows a street dog when he sees one.”
“It was hardly a costume, but he did make a badass little skeleton doggy. Mom kept texting me pictures of dog costumes. It was the nicest way I could think of to deter her.”
“I guess then you would’ve never heard the end of it if you didn’t comply, huh? Between the two of you, Blue’s gonna be spoiled rotten and that’s the last thing we need. Though if you’re gonna get costume-happy, you should get ‘em a big chain he can wear ‘round his neck. Maybe one that’s not too heavy, but one that’s got enough girth to it to make ‘em look like a real guard dog, y’know?”
“I know they aren’t worth the energy, but that doesn’t make it any easier to just let it all go and roll off my back like it’s nothing. I’m not exactly known for being good at keeping my mouth shut, either. It um, actually went rather well? The hernia was bigger than Dr. Uribe thought it was going to be, but it’s all fixed up now. I think… God, it must’ve been June? Good on you then, I’m sure he deserves it. In the technical sense though, you’re a movie star, maybe not by Hollywood’s standards, but you do have a certain James Dean vibe going on, so I’m sure someone somewhere might consider you one.”
“It just takes practice, though I think your attitude is gonna be impossible to fix - no offense. Yeah? You gonna have a sick scar after you’re all healed? Jesus, I guess I didn’t realize it’s been that long already. And you still got a ways to go for your neck to recover ‘n all that. Y’know, Dusty said the same thing when he gave me my WWE name.. the whole James Dean aura that I apparently give off. I’d like to argue and say that I’m more like the walkin’ corpse of James Dean, but it’s all the same. Thanks.”
“Okay fine he does. Oh come on, he’s a tiny thing. He couldn’t make a house compress and expand, Dean. Yes, you’re right, but he’s still cute as can be.”
“I’m just messin’ with you, calm down.. although you have to admit that puttin’ a Halloween costume on ‘em was a bit too much.”
“I honestly felt awful for you after watching that match. He didn’t seem like he wanted to be there in the slightest. You didn’t hear me say this, but I don’t even like Brock to be completely honest.But it’s like he’s the star of the company or something. It’s annoying how they treat him. But whatever, I’m going to focus on my career.”
“He only used two fuckin’ moves throughout the entire match and I didn’t get to use any of the weapons that I wanted! I told ‘em, I said we need to beat the shit outta each other with the weapons I was given and I don’t even care if I’m the one that’s takin’ the most damage, just make me bleed! It’s an extreme match and extreme matches call for blood, even if it’s only a few drops for fuck’s sake. Brock was lazy and flat-out refused to work with me. I was so fuckin’ pissed.. I don’t think anyone likes ‘em. I mean, who would like someone who’s somehow above the Goddamn Wellness Policy, huh? Blows my mind. Fuckin’ ludicrous.”
