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Lairs and Cheats

Jesse!TLOU x reader

Summary: You find out what your boyfriend has been doing behind closed doors; Jesse finds out what's been happening to you behind closed doors. Words: 8K+ Warnings: Mentions of abuse, assault (non-sexual), mentions of blood, protective!jesse, cheating, controlling bf, friends to more?? A/n: This is longer than I expected and a draft from back in May. I'm doing my best to proofread and finishing all the drafts I have started so bear with me ya'll! Sending loooooove!

PS: I’ve been going through my drafts and found this one, not realizing I already uploaded one that was pretty similar, however the ending is different 🤦🏼‍♀️ long story short my drafts are a mess, so enjoy this alternate ending to fat lips!

You let the door swing hard against the wall when you entered the Tipsy Bison. Luckily the music was loud, and spirits were high, so no one seemed to notice.

You scanned the crowded building, swallowing against your dry throat as you moved past the stage where the band was playing a catchy old song. You spotted the familiar faces of your friends as Ellie wave you over.

"We were wondering if you were ever gonna show up" Ellie teased, pointing her finger at you while holding her glass, as you slid into the booth next to Jesse, who was sitting quietly nursing a beer.

"Here I am" You declared, tucking your hair behind your ear, hoping they wouldn't notice your flushed face. You looked to Jesse's hand wrapped around his glass, "You gonna drink that?"

Instead of answering, he slid the glass across the tabletop to you. You brought it your mouth and downed it in one big gulp, wiping your mouth when you were finished.

"Where's Alex?" Dina asks, wearing a confused look at your demeanor, "He's not coming?"

"Oh, he's coming all right," You muttered, sitting the glass back down against the wood with a heavy thud.

"What does that mean?" Ellie asked, exchanging confused looks with your friends at the table.

"It means I just caught him cheating on me" You let out a pitiful laugh trying your best to keep the water works at bay, fidgeting with the sleeves of your sweater.

"What?" Dina smacks the table in surprise, and you jump, looking to her, "Wait—what do you mean?"

"I stopped by his place to see how he was feeling," You explained, taking a breath before continuing, "And he was there with some red head"

Everyone knew that Alex had been 'sick' for the last couple of days. Hiding out in his house on the edge of town and refusing to let anyone check on him, under the guise of not wanting to pass on his sickness. You obeyed his wishes but, as his girlfriend of nearly two years, you became worried.

"Who was it?" Ellie's jaw fell open as she pressed her palms to the table. Her and Dina were watching you from across the table with expectant eyes. Jesse had still not made a sound though you could feel his stare on you, watching as you continued.

You set your elbows on the table, rubbing your face. You really didn't want to cry in front of them about this, but you felt pathetic. "She's from the group that stopped from California"

You all knew the group well. You were often assigned with patrols and helping people get settled into Jackson. This group was only staying for a couple of weeks before embarking on their journey east. The woman was pretty, long red hair and freckles sprinkled across the high points of her face where the California sun hit her. She knew Alex was your boyfriend, you'd introduced the asshole to her while showing her around Jackson's downtown at the beginning of the week.

"And you're sure that he was cheating?" Ellie pressed. You tired not to take offense to the question. Had you imagined it? Had you simply mis-read the situation?

Alex was a part of your close knit group. They'd all known him as long as you had, growing up in Jackson and being around the same age. It was hard to believe he would do something like this, even if he was a dickhead the majority of the time.

"Pretty damn sure," You nod once, looking to your lap, "She was fully bent over the kitchen table, screaming his name—"

"How could he do this to you?" Dina raises her voice smacking at the table again, "I'm going to cut his fucking dick off"

You thought the same thing when you came through the back door and his head whipped in your direction, halting his thrusts. He didn't say anything, just stared at you, bewildered.

"That motherfucker" Ellie sighs, staring off at the bar as she digested the information you'd given them.

You swallow, feeling like vile was going to ride in your throat at any minute. Staring down at your lap you could see Jesse's leg bounce up and down. You felt embarrassed. Maybe you shouldn't have said anything, after all it had nothing to do with the others.

Alex was the oldest of the group. About five years older than you and Jesse, with Dina and Ellie a couple years behind. The two guys had been especially close, growing up like brothers, both orphaned and taken in by Jackson long before you came around.

Throughout your teen years you developed a crush on Alex. You liked the attention the older boy gave you, treating you like this little annoying girl. But when you hit puberty, he took notice. Suddenly it was him crushing on you. You ignored it for a long time, not wanting to mess up the group dynamic but he was a rebel, and things often got boring in town.

It didn't surprise you that Jesse was mute about the topic of conversation. He usually was when it came to Alex.

"Fuck him" Dina almost growls, already a few drinks in and a fierce protecter of her friends. She moved, nearly plowing into Ellie to let her out of the booth, "I'm gonna bring you his dick on a silver platter and then—"

"How about you just get me a drink?" You offered a small smile, watching as Ellie took her girlfriends hand, "I could use something to take my mind off all this"

Dina gave you a sad look, her anger bubbling down as she reached over the table and took your hand in yours. It meant everything to you. Then she beamed at you, "Moonshine, coming right up hot stuff!"

With the girls gone you dropped your head against the table, letting out a shaky sigh. You wished you were no bullshit like Ellie or confident like Dina but you weren't. You were sensitive and emotional, and right now you were hurting.

"I don't know why I even came here, I just didn't know where else to go" You mumbled.

You felt Jesse's hand on your back, a comforting touch that helped ground you.

"Did you know?" You asked, voice echoing under the table. The music in the building was loud but you knew he would hear you.

The thought popped into your mind as you stormed out of Alex's house. It would explain Jesse's distant behavior toward Alex, maybe he knew but didn't feel it was his place to tell you. But that wasn't like Jesse.

"What?"

You lifted your head, stray tears falling off your cheeks at the motion. Looking at him now, dark hair tucked behind his ear and brown eyes watching you closely, eyebrows pinched, "Did you know he was cheating on me?"

"Of course not," He immediately shakes his head, turning toward you slightly in the booth with his arm propped against the back of the seat, "Why would you think that?"

You sniffled, rubbing your hand over your red eyes, "You guys used to be so close"

"—You really think I would've kept something like that from you?" His tone was soft, not upset more pained as he searched your eyes.

"No," You answered, honestly.

"I would've told you if I knew" He cut you off. His voice unwavering. It solidified your trust in him. Even as kids Jesse was never able to lie to you.

"Has he always hooked up with girls from the groups passing in and out of Jackson?" You pressed, elbows against the table as you rubbed your temples.

"Yes," His jaw set, eyes flicking toward the bar before he continued, "Before you two started, it was his thing"

"Not yours?" You laughed, but nothing was funny. Of course it wasn't Jesse's thing. You turned in the booth to face him fully, the world outside of the window behind him was dark, small fires scattered to light the streets up.

He sighed, "He's always been like this"

And you knew that too. Jesse had tried to warn you when you told him you were thinking about finally giving in to Alex's advances. You didn't believe him then, too wrapped up in the attention you were getting and how exciting it all felt.

The space between the two of you was calm despite the amount of people and sound swirling all around.

You had a hard time hiding your emotions around Jesse, especially when he seemed to read your mind, always knowing what you were thinking.

His gaze softened. "Are you okay?"

"No," You shake your head, lip quivering. You desperately wanted to break down, "Not really"

"Let me to take you home" He offered, more of a question, voice low as he watched a few more stray tears roll down your face. He was reaching out to swipe them away when you jumped at Dina's voice.

"Alright bitches, it's time to get drunk" She cheered with Ellie in tow as she carried a large pitcher of what you assumed was moonshine and 4 glasses.

You gave Jesse a forced smile, hurriedly wiping at your wet cheeks with your sleeve before turning back to sit normally at the table.

Two hours and too much moonshine later had you feeling relaxed. Your nerves had settled enough to find yourself giggling at Dina's exaggerated story. You weren't sure how she was still able to throw herself around in the booth considering she had been drinking long before you had even arrived. Your cheeks warm and the headache you had was taking a back seat for the time being.

At some point you had moved closer to Jesse, the right side of your body bumping into him every time you moved. He didn't seem to mind as he swirled the liquid in his glass, adding details to Dina's story, that'd he'd heard a million times. He'd been nursing the same glass of moonshine, sipping on it every now and then.

"I swear to god I had this infected fucker right in front of me and I never saw—" Dina's story suddenly stopped as her eyes tracked something behind you and Jesse, near the door, "Oh perfect, just the motherfucker I wanted to see"

Your heart sunk, turning in the booth to see Alex looking around the building, the same way you had when you first came in. You spun back around to face your friends, hoping he hadn't seen you, "I really don't want to talk to him right now"

Dina moved to push Ellie out of the booth, but was stopped with Ellie's firm hand on her thigh, settling her down slightly.

"You don't have to do anything" Jesse assured, watching him walk to the bar and grab a drink.

"He's going to try and sit with us," Ellie leaned over the table slightly so you could hear her over the music, "Do you wanna just leave?"

Maybe it was the alcohol talking but you shook your head. Alex didn't own the place and you'd be damned if you let him make you feel uncomfortable in a place where you and your friends spent most of your nights.

"Here," Jesse spoke low, sitting back against the booth to make room between himself and the edge of the table, "Swap me"

"What?"

"Swap me places" Jesse insisted, nodding at the space like an invitation. It wasn't very big and you already drunk but you listened. You tried to move across him quickly but ended up falling over, your knees hitting hard against the bottom of table and hands catching yourself on Jesse's thighs.

You mumbled an apology as you felt his hands on your waist, firm but gentle as he helped you the rest of the way across. You had just sat in Jesse's previous spot, trying to act normal when you heard the agitating voice.

"Well well guys, I didn't know we were having a drinking night," Alex addressed the whole table with a drink in hand before zeroing in on you, "Hey babe"

He was acting normal, cool persona and douchey smirk that he always seemed to wear. You on the other hand were nervous, heartbeat picking up and the urge to bolt out of the restaurant was strong. You briefly wondered if you could jump out of the booth without hitting Jesse in the face and run.

No one responded, the three keeping quiet for your sake as you stared at your cup on the table.

"Long day huh? I get it" He sighed after a beat of silence. You could still feel his eyes burning a hole through you as you crossed your arms and leaned your head against the back of the booth, "Anyways, I came to check on my girl"

Your blood went cold and you could feel someone kick at, who you assumed was. Dina as she moved to stand out of the booth.

He must've been unbothered at the looks Dina and Ellie were undeniably shooting his way. When you still didn't look at him, he said you name, "Can we talk?"

"She doesn't wanna talk to you man" Ellie spat his way and you glanced toward her hand on the table.

You heard your name fall from his lips again. There was a clink that followed as he set his beer on the edge of the table. When you finally looked in his direction he had both hands flat against the table, leaning down slightly, "You gonna ignore me all night?"

His short blonde hair was pushed back off his forehead, slicked back as if he'd just gotten out of the shower. The thought of him showering with the girl after what you'd seen made your stomach turn.

You looked away, the threat of tears stinging your eyes again as you blinked, looking out toward the dark night.

"Baby I'm sorry, okay? Can you at least let me explain myself?" Alex spoke, aware at this point that you had already told the others, judging by their overall demeanor.

"You know you're a real piece of shit coming in here—" Dina raised her voice, trying to stand from the table again as Ellie held onto her arm.

"Enough" Jesse spoke calmly to Dina, before looking at Alex. You were glad Jesse was stepping in, he had a way of calming down tense situations, "Listen man, she clearly doesn't wanna talk to you right now, so why don't you go—"

"Clearly," Alex mocks, interrupting, "Well, clearly you need to fuck off"

"Alex" Jesse spoke again, this time more of a warning.

You look over again, seeing the way Alex is staring daggers at you before looking to Jesse, "You think you can speak for her all of a sudden?"

Alex was getting upset. Sounding vaguely similar to the nights he drank too much and got too loud with you in the confines of his house.

"Seriously dude," Ellie was raising her voice now, "Why don't you just give her some fuckin' space?"

"—Why don't you mind your own fucking business?" He bit back. Everyone sitting at the table knew how Alex was when he was mad. He was an aggressive guy when he wanted to be, "And while you're at it control your bitch"

Dina opened her mouth but before she could get out her words Jesse was standing up, pushing Alex away from the table.

Alex might have had him on age but it was nothing compared to Jesse's size. He had surpassed Alex in height by the time he was 18.

All Alex did was smirk, fully squaring up and bumping his chest against Jesse, "Oh big man, do we have a problem?"

"You need to stop," Jesse replied, "Get out of here"

From your position you could see Jesse's shoulders tense and the evil smirk on Alex's face growing. A look you knew too well. You turned in the booth fully, moving to the edge where Jesse had been moments ago.

"Fuck man, you really need to learn to mind your own fucking business" Alex grunted as he moved against Jesse shoving him back against the table. The glasses fell over at the force and you wanted to scream.

In a flash, you had jumped from your spot, moving between the two, back to Jesse and hand in the middle of Alex's heaving chest.

You were glad that the music was loud enough to drown out what was happening. The surrounding tables and people standing were too busy to care what was going on.

"Outside," You demanded, face as hard as stone but he didn't look at you. He only stared over your head at Jesse, before knocking your hand off of him, "Now, I'll be out in a minute"

When Alex did finally look at you there was nothing in his eyes. The same look that he got when he raged at you in the privacy of his house. You'd known the look too well after being on the receiving end more times than you could count.

He nodded, licking his lips and rolling his shoulders before reaching around you to take his beer from the table. He took a long sip, staring at Jesse over the glass before walking away.

"You sure that's a good idea?" Ellie asked still sitting next to Dina watching as Alex made his way through the people and out the main door.

"Probably not," You laughed dryly, rubbing at your temples. Your head was spinning again and the adrenaline of almost seeing the two fight had you tense. You looked to Jesse who was still standing next to you, "It's okay, I'll handle him"

You didn't want him getting involved. It was a pointless fight especially when you were more than over Alex at this point. You'd go outside, let him talk his shit and send him home.

He searched your eyes as you addressed the rest of the table, "I'll be right back, everyone just cool down"

The cold air hit you in the face as you pushed open the heavy door. It was dark besides the interior lights of the Tispy Bison spilling through the big windows. It illuminated Alex as he paced the area to the side of the building.

"What do you want?" Your voice echoed slightly in the empty street. From inside you could hear the muffled music from the band.

"I want to talk"

"So talk" You quipped with expectant eyes, trying to shrug off the cold as you pulled your sweater sleeves down over your wrists.

Inside, past the frosted glass you could see that Jesse had sat back down at the booth. Alex must've clocked the glance at your friends because he was moving toward you, reaching to touch your hand.

You recoiled, moving your hand away, "Talking does not require touching"

"Baby, I'm sorry that you saw that—"

A low laugh escaped, "—The only thing you're sorry about is that fact that I caught you"

He didn't react to your words, only moved toward you again. You took another step away, stumbling from the drinks you had.

"You know I never meant to hurt you. I just—well I don't know what came over me"

You laughed again, looking at one of the barrels further down the street and the flames that danced.

"Are you done?"

"No," He advanced toward you again. "I wanna fix this"

"This?" You echo, hand motioning clumsily between the two of you, "There is no fixing this. After all the shit you put me through?"

"Babe—"

"How many times?" You pressed, this time standing your ground and pushing him away when he tried to reach out to you again.

"Listen baby, I know you're mad at me right now but—"

"Stop calling me that," You shouted, pushing at his chest hard to get him away from you, "It's over"

He set his jaw, the same smirk as before crossed his lips. It made you shiver the way he could change so completely in seconds.

"You know I tried to be nice about this" He chuckled, moving toward you again, "But then you go and run your mouth and make me the bad guy"

You backed away again, now realizing he'd been getting you away from the door to the bar with each step he took toward you. You stumble again as he catches your wrists in a tight grip and hauls to against him.

"You're drunk, you're acting like a child" His hot breath and spit hit you in the face. You tried to get loose but he kept you tight against him.

"Let me go" You spit back through gritted teeth, thrashing to get free.

"I don't have to listen to you" He mutters, tightening the grip on your wrists before leaning in closer to your face.

You cocked your head back, spitting as you moved so it would hit him with somewhat force. He reacted quickly, wiping at his eye before grabbing your face with his free hand, "You're gonna regret that"

You were too caught up in the moment to hear the music become clear before going back to the muffled sound. For a moment you thought you were hearing things.

"Get the fuck off her" Jesse's voice was loud, yelling as the of his boots crunched on the gravel.

"She's drunk," Alex called over your shoulder, starting to drag you away from the bar. "I'm going to take her home so she can sleep it off"

"No you're not" Jesse argued, catching up and reaching for his shoulder.

Alex did let you go, long enough to spin around and face Jesse. You rubbed at your wrists, red marks wrapping all the way around them.

"I already told you to mind your own fucking business" Alex screamed and you were surprised no one inside heard it, "You're always sticking your nose where it doesn't belong"

Alex whipped around again, grabbing only your right wrist and holding it up. The grip he had was tighter now, ripping you around by the wrist like a rag doll.

"Jesse it's fine" You cry as he takes a step forward, thinking too hard about how badly Alex had beaten the last guy he fought, "It's okay"

"You heard her," Alex laughed, pulling you hard against him as he gripped your face again and kissed the side of your mouth. Tight lipped you watched Jesse, standing only a couple feet away, "Fuck off"

Dina and Ellie were standing behind him and when they moved closer Alex dug his fingers into the thin skin making you cry out.

"Let me go, okay?" You cried out, trying to peel his fingers off again, "You're hurting me"

In the blink of an eye Jesse was standing in front of you, managing to break the grip that Alex had.

But before you could even fully comprehend what happened, Alex had already cocked his arm back and sent a hard punch to Jesse's face.

"You son of a bitch" You screamed through gritted teeth, watching Jesse react to the hit before lunging at Alex and sending a hard slap to his face.

The next thing you felt was a stinging heat over the left side of your face. A deafening crack in the quiet night. The momentum of his Alex's backhand mixed with the alcohol in your blood sent you flying to the gravel.

You weren't exactly sure what was happening next. When you lifted yourself from the ground you could see Jesse was on top of Alex, landing blows to his body as he tried to fight back.

They were only a couple feet away from you, grunting sounds accompanying the sick sound of his fist making contact with skin. Dina and Ellie appeared at your side out of thin air, helping you sit up.

The side of face was throbbing under your hand and you felt something wet tickling your cheek. The alcohol was not helping the panic you were feeling as Ellie rushed over and hauled Jesse off of Alex who had stopped fighting back about four hits ago.

Dina moved into your line of sight and gingerly took your face in her hands. It startled you, causing you to flinch before you realized what she was trying to do, "It's okay sweetie, I need you to move your hand so I can check on that, okay?"

You nodded, moving your hand and watching her reaction. Dina was stone cold but her eyes didn't lie. Fingers pressed the skin and she lifted the bottom of her shirt to dab something away. You thought it might have been tears until you saw the blood spots. You winced at the pressure and she sucked at her teeth.

"I'm sorry," It was a wonder she was able to stand up straight after the amount of alcohol she'd consumed, let alone tend to you as carefully as she was, "Are you okay?"

You didn't respond, quite literally in shock at what had happened. Instead, you looked over to see Alex lying on the ground, facing the other direction and making a strange sound.

Dina pulled a piece of cloth from her pocket and held it against your eye, moving your hand to take her place, "Keep pressure on that"

Then she was standing, moving pass Jesse and sending a hard kick to Alex's side. He yelled out in pain before going silent again.

"Motherfucker" She screams, trying to rush him again. Ellie pulled her back and when she manages to get her back, she cries out, "He could've blinded her"

You do your best to ignore what's happening, wishing you could disappear, squeezing your eyes shut.

You heard speak quieter and tried to listen despite your pounding headache.

"His ring sliced right under her eye, any higher and—" She took a breath to collect herself, before continuing, "The bleeding should stop on its own but she's going to be bruised. There's no hiding that from Tommy," Dina points out the obvious before addressing Jesse, "and it won't be too hard to figure out who was involved"

Tommy had strict rules about the community and how disagreements needed to be handled. He'd given multiple lectures about Jackson not being the Wild West.

"I'll talk to Tommy" Jesse mumbled, before crouching down beside you, "I'm going to help you stand okay?"

His hand on your shoulder caused you to jump again. You nodded, using your free hand to grip onto his arm as he lifted you to your feet.

He was speaking to you, mouth moving as he searched your eyes. You had to force yourself to tune in to his words, "I'm going to take you home, okay"

You nodded, hand still using his arm to keep yourself steady as he started to guide you.

"Leave him there" Jesse called back to the girls as they looked at Alex still on the gravel and now holding his side where Dina had kicked him.

Jesse didn't try to speak to you on the walk, which you were glad about. It gave you the chance to regulate your nervous system and try to piece together everything that had happened in such a short amount of time.

You did as Dina said, keeping the cloth pressed against your cheek, despite the heat radiating from it. Jesse kept an arm around you, letting you use him as support.

The stars scattered across the night sky and you wanted to laugh at how pretty it was after such a hectic situation. But you didn't, you just let Jesse lead you down the dirt path to your home.

He held the door open for you as you made your way inside. He moved around you in the dark before finding the lamp you kept near the living room. It produced a warm, orange glow as he moved to the kitchen.

You followed him, sitting at the small table near the sink, not sure what else to do. You propped your elbow against the old wood top and rested your face against the palm of your hand.

You listened to the sound of Jesse walking around, opening drawers and cabinets and let your eyes close.

When you opened them again, Jesse was pulling another chair from the table and bringing it closer to you. He dropped a bag and wet cloth to the table top before sitting down.

"What're you doing?"

He didn't really have to explain what he was doing. He rummaged through a small clear bag. It was somewhat of a first aid kit, something Tommy put together for people on patrols to keep with them. You preferred keeping it around the house, usually tucked away in the bathroom drawer. Jesse only knew where it was because he'd already gotten onto you about not keeping it in your patrol bag.

"Okay," His voice was just barely above a whisper, "You can move the cloth"

You had forgotten that you still had it pressed to cheek, partially covering your eye. You peeled the cloth where it had become sticky with blood and tossed it on the table before looking to him.

He stared for a moment before clearing his throat. You weren't sure exactly how bad it was but judging by everyone reactions it wasn't good.

But he kept focused, the way Jesse always did. He leaned forward in his chair, halting before pressing the clean, wet cloth to your skin, "This is going to sting a little"

You hissed when he dabbed the cut using a light pressure. The pain came rushing back and you were suddenly gripping his arm, holding it away from you.

He gave you a second, moving the rag away to see the blood that was peppering it. He moved to clean spot before putting his other hand on your knee, preparing you, "I just need to clean it up and then we're done, okay?"

You nodded watching his mouth as he spoke. He had a busted lip, a diagonal slice leaking some blood and a bruise forming on his jaw line.

"He got you with his ring too," Your fingers curled around his arm again as he moved the cloth. Through gritted teeth you asked, "Does it hurt?"

The room stayed quiet as he distracted himself with your wound, pretending he didn't hear you. You stared at him, unrelenting until he had to meet your gaze, "No"

"You're a horrible liar"

"Has he done this to you before tonight?" Jesse asked, voice soft as he furrowed his brows, tentatively moving the subject from himself.

"No," You whispered, dropping your gaze from his. Then, in the silence of the empty home and no pressure to keep up a lie, you sighed, "Well, yeah, but never like this"

Jesse's eyes flicked to yours before looking back to the cut he was nursing. His way of telling you to continue, "He came close a couple of times when he would drink"

You took a breath, dropping your hand from his arm, no longer focusing on the pain in your face, "He always apologized after, blamed it on the booze or the day"

His set his jaw as he dropped the rag onto the table beside you. He searched the bag for a moment before pulling out a bandage. You didn't say anything else, just watched him fiddle with the wrapping.

He leaned forward again, using soft touch to smooth it over the wound, "I'm sorry"

"It's okay," You blinked, feeling numb, "It doesn't hurt that bad"

"No, I mean, for making you think you couldn't tell me" He says simply, leaning back in his chair and starting to gather the medical supplies back in the bag. Then he adds, "You could've told me"

You reached out and grabbed the wet cloth from the table, flipping it to a clean side before scooting to the edge of the chair. Jesse's long legs on either side of your chair.

You reached out and caught his chin with your thumb using it to make him look at you. He complied, setting the medical supplies down and letting his hands rest on his thighs.

The blood was smeared across his mouth where he had rubbed it, a small amount of blood still seeping from the slice.

You kept your fingers under his chin as you applied pressure to his bottom lip with the other, "For the record I should have told you, or anyone, I know that"

He stared at you as you tentatively wipe at his lip, speaking despite, "Why didn't you?"

You let out a small sigh, "I just didn't want to get you involved. You would've called him out and he loves to fight; I knew this would be the outcome"

"So instead you stayed with a guy who was getting drunk and hitting you" It was posed as a question but it wasn't; it was an accusation.

"It stopped everyone else from fighting" Your face was burning under his gaze, another wave of embarrassment hitting you. You caught sight of the bruise on his jawline and tears pricked your eyes, "I feel so bad for all this"

"Hey," Jesse touched your wrist moving the cloth away from his mouth so he could speak clearly, "There's no reason for you to feel bad"

"Jesse, look at you," You rubbed at your eye, sucking in a sharp breath when you accidentally touched your cheek. You picked up his hand, showing him his own knuckles, cut and bruised from his punches, "This is all my fault"

He was standing suddenly, his wooden chair scratching across the floor. He took the cloth from your hand and tossed it on the table before hauling you to your feet. Without a sound he took your hand and made you follow him.

Before you knew it you were standing in the bathroom and he was flipping the light switch. The bright light stung your eyes even more than in the kitchen as you tried to blink the soreness away.

When they had finally adjusted enough you realized you were standing in front of the counter looking at your reflection in the mirror. Jesse was standing behind you holding you in place with his hands on your arms.

"It's okay to be upset, but I want you to realize what he did to you" Jesse's voice echoed in the small bathroom as he pointed at your now covered wound under your eye, "This—"

His finger pointed to your cheek below where the skin was starting to turn color. "—And this"

You didn't say anything, just watched him move in the reflection as he picked up both of your hands, his chest pressing against the back of your shoulder as his long arms moved in front of you, "And this"

You hadn't realized it before but your wrists had a dark bruising wrapped fully around them. The force of his grip now visible on your pale skin.

You moved your hands away from him, bringing them closer to you, examining the marks. He had backed up, leaning against the doorframe as he watched you through the mirror. The hum of the light bulb was the only sound echoing in the space.

You pressed your palms against the cold countertop of the skin and sighed, catching another glimpse of the dark under your eyes before dropping your shoulders. Your vision became blurred with tears as you took your bottom lip between your teeth and glanced to the side of pane where Jesse still stood.

It was all you could do to shake your head, before the dam broke and tears were rushing down your cheeks.

Jesse was right there, turning you around to face him and pulling you against his chest, arms wrapping around your frame. Your hands gripped at his shirt, tears soaking the fabric.

"It's okay" He muttered, lips against the top of your head as his hands rubbed soothing circles on your back. His strong arms enveloping you whole, "None of this is your fault"

"It is. I should've never of went to the bar after seeing him with that girl and none of this would've happened" You spoke directly against his chest, "You wouldn't have gotten into a fight with him and no one would—"

Jesse cut you off, dropping his arms and backing up so he could look at you clearly, "No one would what? Know that he was doing this to you behind closed doors? Cheating on you?"

His hands were holding your face, keeping you looking at him, "How much longer would you have let him treat you like this?"

"I don't know" You shrugged pathetically, tears falling on to his thumbs as he tried to wipe them away, "All I know is when he hit you it was the first time it all came to the surface. When I realized how much I truly hated him"

"Why?" Jesse pressed as you stepped out of his grasp and leaned back again the counter.

"Don't ask me why," You wiped at your wet face, pushing the hair out of your eyes, "I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me"

"Nothing is wrong with you," Jesse whispered your name, despite being in close proximity, "I don't think you realize what I'd do for you"

You both stared at each other, as if daring the other one to look away first, but no one budged. Stood there frozen in time.

For a long time you weren't sure what it was about Jesse. Why you felt so comfortable with him or why he became distant when you and Alex started dating. You wondered if he knew that you noticed the way his eyes would linger or how he would flex his hands when he was near you, like he wanted to reach out and touch you.

Or if he knew that despite being one of your closest friends, you had always had feelings for him. And you weren't sure if it was the moonshine still present in your body or the events that transpired that had you reaching out to him.

You caught his hand, running your fingertips across the broken, discolored skin before pulling it ever so slightly toward you.

He shuffled forward, close enough that you can see the wetness your tears caused on his shirt. You touched the fabric and the air suddenly changed in the room. A sort of charged electricity sparked between the two of you as you looked up at him.

You let your fingers drag up the length of his arm, all the way to the side of his neck where it stayed as you stood up on your tip toes. His breath hitched in his throat and you pulled him down to meet you halfway.

You expected him to make a move, close what little space was left between you, but he didn't. Instead, his hands dropped to your waist and he lifted you to sit on the counter.

This position was much easier, he didn't have to bend at the neck and you didn't have to stand on your toes to reach him. But he still didn't kiss you.

He watched you, face softening as he searched your eyes. You opened your legs, so he could stand comfortably in front of you as your feet hung down.

You moved your hand to cup his cheek, thumb grazing over his fat lip. He didn't react when you touched it despite the small drop of blood that was pooling around the edge of the cut.

"Your poor lip" You whispered, distracted by the swollen redness, watching it roll under your soft touch. You leaned forward agonizingly slow, still testing the waters as he watched you. He whispers your name, as smooth as butter.

You can feel his hand on your thigh, thumb tapping nervously against the material of your jeans. You swallow hard, trying to steady your heartbeat as you lean forward, the space between your faces nearly gone, "Kiss me"

When he did finally close the space, you tilted your head, his soft lips sealed against yours. You felt his hand flex against your thigh but he still didn't move it.

He pulled back almost immediately, saying your name again as you chased his lips. Before he could speak again you were pulling him back to you.

You smiled when you felt his hand move from your thigh, gliding up your arm to touch your face. The feeling leaving a trail of fire in its wake as he tilted his head and kissed you back.

The metallic taste of the blood from his lip was addicting as you pressed closer, kissing at his bottom lip gently as your other hand moved to cup his cheek.

"Is this okay?" He said against your lips as you hooked your finger in his belt loop and tugged him closer, his hips hitting the side of the counter with a soft thud.

You nodded, not trusting your voice as you carded your fingers through his hair. At the confirmation his lips moved against you in a more desperate manner, his body reacting to your touch. He touched your chin, moving your head back so he could kiss deeper.

You parted his lips with your tongue, too impatient to wait for him. He let you in without hesitation, letting you explore his mouth.

You were getting drunk all over again just from tasting him.

You hummed against his lips, feeling a sense of success when he moved his tongue against yours, returning the act and delving into you. You hooked your legs around his waist as you leaned back against the mirror. The pure pleasure you were feeling at just the feeling of his mouth on yours was driving you crazy.

His hands dropped to your lower back, bringing you close to the edge of the counter before fully picking you up off the counter. His hands held the back of your thighs as your arms hooked around his neck.

You walked with ease, never taking his lips from yours as he walked down the hallway. You weren't surprised, he had been in your house countless times, and even being preoccupied it had been second nature.

He left the light off as he entered your bedroom, the moonlight leaking through the window pane as he put a knee on the mattress. You hadn't even noticed he was laying you down until you felt the pillow behind your head.

He was hovered above you, your arms not letting him go anywhere as you continued to swirl your tongues, but then he was breaking the kiss.

"What's wrong?" You asked, breathlessly loosening your hold on his neck. Your heat was thumping your ears, "Did I do something wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," He sighed, carefully removing your hands from his neck so he could sit up on the bed beside you, "I just think you should go to sleep"

You sat up in the bed, opposite his position, utterly stunned. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Did I misread this?"

Jesse was nervous, in a way you had never seen him before, rubbing at the back of his neck and trying to not make eye contact with you.

"Oh my god" You cried out, hands covering your face as you brought your knees to your chest, "I'm so goddamn stupid"

"No, no you're not stupid" Jesse said softly, still keeping his distance from you on the edge of the mattress.

"I am," You cried out again, lifting your head from your hands, to look at him, "You're my best friend. And Fuck—I thought we had this tension or something and—and I fucked up everything just now"

He opened his mouth to speak again but you threw your head against the headboard with a soft thud, "—Jesus I practically forced myself on to you, shoving my tongue down your throat and—"

Jesse sighed, watching you spiral and shaking his head slightly, "You have such a unique way of misunderstanding things"

"I'm not misunderstanding, I crossed a line and I should have never—" Jesse leaned over to you again, shutting you up with a kiss.

It was gentle and quick, unlike the previous one you had just shared. His lips pressed against yours and gone before you had a chance to react. He succeeded in stopping your rambling.

"Don't—" You sighed, snapping yourself out of the moment as he sat back again, "Don't kiss me out of pity"

Jesse rolled his eyes, fully turning back toward you on the bed, pushing you back gently until your back rested against the headboard.

He angled your face up toward his so he had a better position to kiss you. This time he was the one leaning in slow, making you wait in anticipation. He peeked your lips once before parting your lips, running his tongue along the seam of your mouth. He was using more pressure than before, hands on either side of you.

You sighed into the kiss, tasting the saltiness of your stray tears mixing with his salvia. When he felt your hands slide across the plane of his shoulders and interlock behind his neck he knew you were finally understanding.

"You had a really rough night," He pulled back, breath fanning over your face as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, "And you've been drinking"

"It doesn't matter" You whine, not caring how desperate it made you sound.

"It does—to me it does," He leaned in and peck you on the lips between each work he spoke, "I don't want to take advantage of you"

"What if I take advantage of you?" You joke, leaning back in to kiss him as he pulled away, teasing you.

"I think you should get some sleep" He whispered, "And see how you feel about this tomorrow"

"Jesse, I promise you this isn't me being clouded with emotions. It's me finally having the guts to tell you how I feel"

He stood up, grabbing your foot and removing your shoes, "How do you feel?"

You watched him, gently tossing the shoes to the floor, looking at his lips that you had already become familiar with.

"Like I've been waiting for a night like this for years"

He dropped your legs back on the mattress, moving back toward you and resting his knuckles into the bed. He hovered above you for a moment before pressing a another quick kiss to your lips, "That makes two of us"

The loss of contact was making your head spin. He turned to your drawers, sliding it open and fishing out a t shirt that you often slept in.

"You're joking" You accused, sitting up fully in the bed, intrigued by his words. You peeled your long sleeve sweater over your head and tossed it to the floor.

"Not joking" He whispered, trying to not look at you in just your bra as you took your time putting on the shirt he had tossed at you.

When it was on you sighed, sitting up on your knees and unhooking the bra under the shirt. When it came loose you tossed that on the floor too. He had averted his eyes to your desk, littered with random trinkets you had collected.

"Will you stay with me?" You asked, gathering your hair to one shoulder as you watched him.

"I really think I should—"

"I just don't wanna be alone tonight?" You interrupt, touching the bruises on your wrist, a reminder of how long the night had already been.

"I'll stay," He said, earning a small smile from you, "But I'm going to sleep on the couch"

You let out an audible groan that made Jesse chuckle. He nodded at you, moving quietly to the door. Before he left he turned back to look at you, "I'll be out here when you wake up"

Then he was gone, leaving you on the bed in the dim light.

You stood from the bed, slipping out of your jeans with a frustrated huff. You pulled on a pair of old sleep shorts and threw yourself back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.

You tried to push out any negative thoughts of what you had done, initiating whatever just happened between the two of you. Why did you have a pit in your stomach, especially after Jesse had just admitted he had felt the same way for you.

You rolled onto your side, wiping at your face feeling the fabric of the bandage. You thought about Jesse's lip again, the way his knuckles looked.

You closed your eyes, feeling the events of the night weighing you down into the soft mattress. Outside of the closed door you could hear Jesse's footsteps on the creaky wood floors, the sound of the lock switching on your front door. It eased your anxieties knowing he was there, even if you felt awkward for desperately making out with him.

With the blanket pulled to your chin, you were out in a matter of minutes. Breath evening out and your worries drifting off into the night.

You shot up in bed, your wrists feeling as if they were breaking and hot fire streaked across your face. You breath was rapid, heart pounding in your chest. You clutched the fabric of your shirt, urging yourself to calm down.

It had taken several minutes for you to realize that you were in your bed and had been dreaming, though you felt as though you could feel Alex's presence in the room, suffocating you.

You wasted no time, grabbing your pillow and blanket, rushing out of the room and down the hall. In the dark living room you could see Jesse stretched out on the couch, his arm folded behind his head on the arm rest. His chest rising and falling as he slept peacefully.

You watched him for a moment, clutching the pillow to your chest. Deciding it was stupid to wake him before taking a step back to your room.

He called your name, voice thick with sleep at the sound of the wood creaking under your weight, "Are you okay?"

You let out a shaky breath, quiet in the room but somehow, he had still managed to hear it.

"C'here" He said, shifting on the couch.

You crossed the room quickly, gesturing for him to sit up so you could put the pillow behind his head. He laid back against it as you crawled over top of him, nestling yourself in the space between the couch cushions and him.

You spread the blanket over the two of you as he adjusted to give you more room, moving his arm so you could lay your head lay against him. When you finally stopped moving you let out a breath, "I'm sorry"

"Don't be," He pressed an innocent kiss to your temple, "I've got you"

The pressure on your wrists and fire in your face seemed to disappear as you listened to his breathing in the quiet space. The dream had left you more scared than the moment.

Just when you thought you might fall back asleep, you spoke again, "I knew he was cheating on me"

"How long?"

"A couple months" You sighed, "I caught him in the stables with a girl a while back, somehow I let him convince me I didn't see what I saw. I was too scared to do anything about it, but in reality, I think I felt stuck in the situation"

He made a sound next you, moving his feet under the blanket so they brushed against your cold bare feet, "You don't have to be stuck anymore"

You smiled, turning carefully to look at him face to face. Even in the dark you could see his fat lip. You leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek before laying your head on his chest, letting your arm fall across his stomach.

Then after a beat you asked, "How come you never said anything before?"

"The same reason you didn't" He sighed, wrapping that arm around to hold you against him, "Thought it would ruin us"

"Do you still think it will?"

He smiled, a hand coming up to play with your hair, and in a soft tone he spoke again, "Maybe"

"Too late now" You yawned, cuddling closer into him as you a peaceful sleep washed over you with no fear of the nightmares returning as long as he had you in his arms.

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