Acting was the first time I had a positive identity, the first time I had done something that I suspected I might be good at. But every time I would have to go on stage—as soon as I heard the audience murmur—I would throw up. I blacked out, I literally didn’t have a thought in my head. I thought, ‘Maybe this is my body telling me that I can’t do this. But the idea of quitting was just so depressing. I mean, everybody around me said I had changed since I found this path. It made me come alive as a person. It was everything. I went into it obsessed, like my life was dependent on it, I did it for five shows, didn’t stumble on a word. It’s that moment that I was able to overcome that demon. Happy 41st Birthday, Joel Kinnaman! (November 25th, 1979)
