The Honour of Silence

[naturallybornthriller-blog]

It’s 1, I can’t sleep, I did my make up, can’t stop listening to “just like heaven,” i wish it was raining, i wish i could write without getting frustrated; i want to wake up in the midwest.

[theleatherone]

Fast forward like 6 years and it still applies~

[theleatherone]

I can’t believe I’m going to be 27 on Thursday. What in the actual fuuuuuuck.

[theleatherone]

Transitions to 1st

Slick, winding roads of earth

Valleys fortressed by elegant houses,

some more humble than others.

The pictures scream off of the horizon,

muffled only by the golden hue

Miles and miles of heights;

licking the S-turns,

picking the meat from the country club green.

Little suburb off the 82 that houses a small Medical school.

Idyllic forms of all matter,

the continuum of dreams on a hill,

anointed by god at the very top.

Speckled cars casting shadows from Warrior Rd.

Eyes burning in the dusk of spring

The world changes from Terrace Heights to the sunken city below.

The contrast of grit with a derelict modesty,

broken plains, trees uprooted by sidewalk

Atmosphere smothered by people.

The streets twist and confuse,

All numbers and no meaning

A chaotic puzzle mapped against the grain,

asphalt clothing intersections seeped with bile.

Tombs upon tombs of minute apartments

so many 1/2’s,

Every tenement building sickened by decades of cigarette smoke.

Motels etched in the slums of 1970’s New York, perpetually stuck in time in the Pacific Northwest.

The faces change behind the fences,

the sentiment does not.

The ailing businesses defunct or suffering,

this is disparaged housing

This is survival money blues.

The world below is all shades of red.

An indifference deserved and paved with good intention.

[scarymovies101]

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) French lobby card

[theleatherone]

“Thee DEVIL”

[horrord0ll]

[nexusdawn]

Faust (1926)

[lelaid]

Shot by Thierry Mugler for Thierry Mugler F/W 1996

[kittypavl]

[grigiabot]

Arthur Tress

[vhs-ninja]

[mukasfilms]

[theleatherone]

This has been a tough one... To get the official clinical depression diagnosis with ptsd made sense in ways I never truly anticipated even though I knew it? Therapy and medication is the best way to go, so crossing my fingers the therapy can help while my brain adjusts to the medication. I’m so scared that what I try will be ineffective or that a lot of experimentation will be needed. I just want to get better but it does seem impossible right now. I can’t deny that.

[theleatherone]

tfw you realize that you’re the abyss, and you’re just subjective blankness and you can’t get out of the hell that you embody, and the hell that you’ve created for yourself, because the abyss wants to frankly, be filled by something that gives it purpose, meaning, functionality, validation, but you’re just a pit of selfish emotion that wants what it can never have. it’s just there taking up space instead, frightening, mystifying, confusing, hurting and consuming anyone that really looks into it

[sowhatifiliveinkyushu]

風俗草紙  (1954年02月)

[thesawmill]

[mastersofthe80s]

David Cronenberg