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The 20 Worst Things to Say to Anyone in Distress
Here’s a list of common sayings that can be weaponized against Complex PTSD survivors and others in distress, often invalidating their experiences or reinforcing harmful narratives:
1. “Everything happens for a reason.”
Implies suffering has a predetermined purpose, disregarding systemic failures and personal violations.
2. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
Minimizes trauma and its lasting effects.
3. “It’s all in your head.”
Dismisses the real, physiological impacts of trauma.
4. “You attract what you put out into the universe.”
Blames survivors for their suffering.
5. “Just let it go.”
Oversimplifies healing and disregards the complexity of trauma recovery.
6. “Karma will take care of it.”
Suggests justice is inevitable when reality often proves otherwise.
7. “If you dwell on it, you’ll never heal.”
Pressures survivors to suppress their pain rather than process it.
8. “Other people have it worse.”
Invalidates individual suffering by forcing comparison.
9. “God/the universe doesn’t give you more than you can handle.”
Suggests trauma is a test rather than unjust harm.
10. “You need to forgive to move on.”
Pressures survivors into premature or forced forgiveness.
11. “You’re only hurting yourself by holding onto anger.”
Frames justifiable anger as self-destructive.
12. “No one can hurt you unless you let them.”
Blames the survivor rather than the perpetrator.
13. “You just need to be more positive.”
Dismisses the deep neurophysiological impacts of trauma.
14. “Don’t be a victim.”
Weaponizes self-reliance against those seeking accountability.
15. “You should be grateful it wasn’t worse.”
Forces toxic gratitude rather than allowing space for grief and rage.
16. “That’s just the way the world works.”
Normalizes injustice and discourages action against it.
17. “Time heals all wounds.”
Implies that trauma naturally resolves without active support.
18. “You just need to try harder.”
Suggests that struggling with trauma is a failure of effort rather than a legitimate condition.
19. “You should be over it by now.”
Imposes an arbitrary timeline on healing.
20. “It could’ve been a lot worse.”
Minimizes suffering and invalidates the severity of trauma.
These sayings are dismissive and reinforce shame, self-doubt, and isolation. Trauma survivors need understanding, not clichés that’ll undermine their reality.
When he lost his mother's warmth, this little baby hugged a lifeless doll looking for that love. Imagine how lonely and empty that little heart must have felt. But today, that old doll is on the ground. Because he found a new family who truly loves him and embraces him. No matter how lonely life gets, one day, people who give us real love and wipe our tears will come into our lives. This is life.)
Camus believed humans naturally want life to make sense.
We want a clear purpose, a reason we are here, and some kind of final answer about what it all means. But when we look at the universe, it does not give us those answers. It does not explain itself. It does not promise meaning. That clash between our need for meaning and the silence of the universe is what Camus called the absurd.
Some people try to solve this discomfort by insisting there must be a grand purpose behind everything. Camus thought that can be a way of avoiding the uncomfortable truth that there may not be any built in cosmic meaning. In that sense, obsessing over finding ultimate purpose could be a distraction from facing reality as it is.
However, Camus did not say life is pointless. He said that even if the universe does not hand us a purpose, we can still choose how to live. We can create our own values through our actions, our relationships, and the way we face challenges. The key idea is to stop demanding that the universe explain itself, and instead live fully and honestly anyway
“There is not love of life without despair about life.”
— Albert Camus
Thank you, Catherine O'Hara
Welcome to Your ADHD Symptom Test!
“The purpose of life, as far as I can tell, is to find a mode of being that’s so meaningful that the fact that life is suffering is no longer relevant.” — Jordan Peterson
The healthcare system isn’t flawless and shouldn’t be given carte blanche to label people for a lifetime. https://www.nirandfar.com/?p=23597 via @nireyal
Some ill informed, close minded people would say that it is our sexual appetite for a manon-man sex that has made lasting happiness illusive. If we would just be "normal" find a good woman and settle down, then we'd discover what life is all about.
That's just crazy. Our struggles have nothing to do with loving men per se. Substance abuse, hypersexuality, short lived relationships, depression, sexually transmitted disease, the insatiable hunger for more and better, and the need to decorate our worlds to cover up seamy truths these are our torments. Being a fulfilled gay man is not about trying to become "not gay" but has everything to do with a way through this world that affords us our share of joy, happiness, fulfillment and love.
Six common lies we tell ourselves:
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“If I had more time, I would do the thing.”
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“If I could just have that, then my life would be amazing.”
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“If I tell them this, then they will finally change.”
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“Everything is perfect/ruined.”
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“I can’t live without the thing.”
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“I know what I’m doing.”
#this
“For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.”
— Albert Camus
Proverbs from different countries:
1. "He who shakes his neighbor's house will have his own house shaken." (Swiss Proverb)
2. "If a person eats his fill, he cannot taste the bread." (Scottish Proverb)
3. "If you don't know how to smile, don't open a shop." (Chinese Proverb)
4. "Good looks are the strongest recommendation." (English Proverb)
5. "Doing good deeds without expectation of reward is like pouring perfume into the sea." (Polish Proverb)
6. "To know the progress of a nation, look at its women." (French Proverb)
7. "We often see things differently because we only read the title." (American Proverb)
8. "Other people's mistakes are always clearer than our own." (Russian Proverb)
9. "Contentment is half of happiness." (Italian Proverb)
10. "Every man creates his own destiny." (English Proverb)
11. "Adorn your mind with knowledge, not your body with jewels." (Chinese Proverb)
12. "Self-love is the child of ignorance." (Spanish Proverb)
13. "Love that depends on gifts is always hungry." (English Proverb)
14. "Beware of the woman who talks about her virtues and the man who talks about his honesty." (French Proverb)
15. "Love your wife and confide in your mother." (Irish Proverb)
16. "Make your child a prince for five years, a slave for ten years, and a friend thereafter." (Hindi Proverb)
17. "Being human is easy; being a man is difficult." (Russian Proverb)
18. "My family taught me to speak, and people taught me to be silent." (Czechoslovak Proverb)
19. "He who looks at people with knowledge hates them; he who looks at them with reality forgives them." (Italian Proverb)
20. "Anger is a strong wind that blows out the lamp of reason." (American Proverb)
21. "Those who give should not speak of their giving; those who receive should." (Portuguese Proverb)
22. "A large tree gives more shade but fewer fruits." (Italian Proverb)
23. "Put your worries in a torn pocket." (Chinese Proverb)
24. "Eating too much is more harmful than hunger." (German Proverb)
25. "Plow every day, eat every day." (Egyptian Proverb)
26. "O man, do not forget death, for it will not forget you." (Turkish Proverb)
27. "The pleasure of revenge lasts a moment; the comfort of forgiveness lasts forever." (Spanish Proverb)
28. "Love and fragrance cannot be hidden." (Chinese Proverb)
29. "He whose pocket is empty should make his tongue sweet." (Malaysian Proverb)
30. "Small drops of water can also make a river." (Japanese Proverb)
31. "God feeds the birds, but they must fly to find food." (Dutch Proverb)
32. "Love lasts as long as there is money." (French Proverb)
33. "He who lends money to a friend loses both." (French Proverb)
34. "He who marries a beautiful woman needs more than two eyes." (English Proverb)
35. "He who has a thorn in his back always fears the fire." (French Proverb)
36. "He who resolves to reach his goal considers every obstacle insignificant." (French Proverb)
37. "He who thinks himself a sheep will be eaten by the wolf." (French Proverb)
38." Don't be frog in a well"( indian proverb)
39."Ajmal al-ashya' ma la yu'rafu qimatuha illa ba'da zuhuriha."
Translation: "The most beautiful things are those whose value is not known until they are lost."(Arab proverb)
40." When life gives you lemons' make lemonade"( American proverb)
41." (Khet ke har poday ko paani ki zaroorat nahi hoti)Translation: "Not every plant in the field needs water."(Pakistani proverb)
42."Bagai aur dengan tebing."
Translation: "Like a bamboo and its riverbank."
Meaning: This proverb highlights the importance of mutual support and interdependence. Just as a bamboo tree relies on the riverbank for stability, and the riverbank relies on the bamboo for protection from erosion, people in a community rely on each other for support and strength.
43.: "He who eats from the flour of his own soul, dies before he dies."(Egypt proverb)
Meaning: This proverb warns against selfishness and greed. It suggests that when you prioritize your own interests at the expense of others, you ultimately harm yourself and lose your sense of purpose.
44.""When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers."(African proverb)
45."A fair dinkum effort will get you a fair dinkum result."(Australian proverb)
46."Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan, hindi makakarating sa paroroonan."( Phillipine pr0verb)
Translation: "He who does not know how to look back at where he came from, will never reach his destination.
47. "Actions speak louder than words."
. "All's fair in love and war."
. "Blood is thicker than water."
. "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."
. "Don't cry over spilt milk."
. "Give someone an inch and they'll take a mile."
. "Practice what you preach."
. "The pot calling the kettle black."
. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
(British proverb)
48. Here's a Somali proverb: “Afkaaga waa afkayga".
Translated, it means: “Your words are your mirror.”
49."कहिले पनि नखाऊने, कहिले पनि टाउको चाट्ने"
Translated, it means:
"Don't scratch when there's no itch, and don't lick your head when there's no oil."(Nipali proverb)
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