My college would have not been so challenging if it was not for my extra activities. But take that all away, what do I got, a bunch of books with longs texts and numbers blasted before my face. The diversity, though, of the things I’m reading brings me to places I’ve never been-inside boiler tubes, outside fans, inside compressors, outside the mechanical linkages and into the people’s hearts for progress.
Recently, I’ve read this blog about putting God first before college and took it as “God first before everything else.” When I shared it on my wall, I though people would think of it as a reminder for all the college students to put God first before the ‘self’, and posting it on my wall would mean that the advice would come from me. But, when I read it, actually, it hit me hard, I now have spiritual and emotional scars. What happened?
During the past semester, I’ve been carrying “worry” and “fear” like they’re babies I’m responsible to feed every single day. They always presented themselves hungry for more of my thoughts. My overthinking stance would belt out high notes of shrieking that would block my ears from listening to the voice I should be listening to.
Confession: everyone (well, minus a few) thought I was going around happy, declaring my faith around the campus and the church when I was actually going farther and farther from God. Just because you’re active in church does not mean you’re “closer to God”, as some would coin it.
The thing is, I’ve knelt down, crying before God as I would look for His presence, for more of Him. Truth be told, there came a time when I thought everyone was hypocrites for thinking that I was happy but in reality, I was really crying inside and nobody every wandered through the forests of my thoughts that at some point, I decided to quit church just because I thought nobody cared.
And then I opened up to my Discipleship Coach and what he told me was “never leave church.” And I was like, “wow, that was the most uninteresting advice I’ve ever received.” But it really made sense.
Confession: when a fraction of everybody thought I was doing really good at school, and a large sum of everybody thought I was not really doing good, only less than a percent dared to ask, "how are you doing? what's up with your life?" and listened without thinking about anything to reply. And surprisingly, they are all in church.
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