My Light Side

36M MDNI 18+ only

[thelightsideofsin]

About Me

36M, writing to funnel my thoughts into a more creative pursuit. My posts are SFW but will vary in scope and range. These are my thoughts, either past or present. I do have another blog with a darker (NSFW) tone where those posts are more appropriate. Ask for it if you wish.

DMs are allowed if you wish to send them, as well as asks. I’m open about most things but I will hold fast to my privacy in certain aspects. I'm not always available so please keep that in mind. I’m a busy man and my time is valuable.

Thank you for reading.

[thelightsideofsin]

What to do when one heart beats faster

And submits itself to another master?

Time slows to a crawl and minutes stretch

I hunker down and maintain the trench

Far out ahead of thy master’s presence

Clearing the way to bask in their essence

Orpheus I’m not, Orpheus I am

Can I look back, will it damn?

The trenches labor and drag

When will I be backed by her flag?

One heart beats faster than the other

I hope her heart isn’t in another

[thelightsideofsin]

Turn the page yo its time to forget, that reality gangster would never regret. You weren’t left behind, you were ahead of your time. Turning the page is as easy as apple pie. Don’t announce your exits or entrances, it’s not up to you to schedule remembrances.

The future is bright, take it with all your might. Remember it’s okay to melt, it’s for good reasons that it’s felt. See, I know you get it, it’s so fucking lit!

Forget all the whining and pining, it’s time to start divining. The skies are clear but it’s not austere! Anything is possible, use your drill to knock away the impossible.

Oh, one last thing before the page is turned. Yes, this is about you, and now the page is burned.

[thelightsideofsin]

Madame, your card has been declined.

What do you mean declined? Don’t you know who I am??

Were. We know who you were, not who you think you are. The times have changed and you have not changed with them. A new season is unfolding and our most gracious host has decided a change is in order. The guest list reviewed, furniture exchanged, a new menu to explore and refine. You are not unwelcome by any means madame, you will still find some warmth within our fine establishment.

However, you are no longer the featured guest. As we move you to a new location befitting your new rank and title, please procure a new form of payment.

Thank you.

[thelightsideofsin]

Its too early in the morning to do anything.

I put on my shirt and tie, but bo rings.

The air conditioner hums steadily

Im almost ready physically, but mentally?

My mind glides over to thoughts of you

We're apart but I'm not blue

You exist, you breathe, you're in this world

With that my smile is finally unfurled

Im off to a job I enjoy

And for a few moments I'm just a boy

Crushing over a girl away from me

Whom I hope I'll be able to see

[thelightsideofsin]

A kindness that transcends simplicity and expectation. The timbre of her voice a soothing and relaxing tone. Beauty that is understated and demure. The vibrant feeling of life in your actions and words. A mind sparking with creativity and joy.

I find these words inadequate to accurately describe you, but they are all I have.

[thelightsideofsin]

Simple glances, simple phrases, simple actions. It’s all quite simple and yet brimming with possibilities. Tit for tat in the most innocent way imaginable. Taken at a glance, nothing to notice and nothing to care for. Felt at a glance, and the complexities ensue. Hope blooms.

Wherever this may go, the journey will be worth the ride.

[thelightsideofsin]

Don’t be coy, your disrespect is apparent! I see everything, I’ve always been transparent. You dream yourself demure and slick, yet those lies make me sick.

A version of me was enamored with you, you know this to be true. I was weak, I didn’t live in reality. Yet now I know what I am, what I will be.

I will be headstrong I will fight! I will take everything I need with all my might! I am the protagonist, never the deuteragonist, the main character, defending myself as my own barrister.

This is not about you, never was never will be. To me your story will go unknown, to me I will be free. I will keep writing the tale of my life, willing every triumph and walking the path clean of strife.

[thelightsideofsin]

I find myself embarrassed far more often than I’d like. A slight misstep, timing slightly off, a tiny misread. A push too early and too late, the right idea but the wrong fit.

Too familiar with recovery and gentle exits. The unraveling gradual at first but with momentum accelerates much too quickly. Time invested undone easily, feelings of compassion and connection moved to the curb for collection.

Too much and too little at different times, never the same for the other side. Only I am allowed to drop the baton, fumble the ball, miss a catch.

Once again I am embarrassed. It’s early morning and it’s that day of the week. Into the brown bin I go, off to the landfill we go. I’ve memorized the route, know every pathway. It’s faster this time.

Good. The embarrassment will soon say goodbye.

[thelightsideofsin]

Tighten up reality gangster, don’t let yourself be wrapped up in delusions. Smooth your way out of danger fool, you are your own solution. You are the leader of all that’s righteous, the master of reality. Stay true to your core and you’ll deliver unto yourself your sanity.

No one knows the real you, no one cares about your aspirations. One of one that’s right, you are your own nation. Plant your flag and seal all doubt. Mother fuckers you can’t drink off of me, time for a drought.

This is my battle cry. Wipe your tears dry. I am the victor, the winner eternal. You’re left behind, me a memory in a journal.

[thelightsideofsin]

I wonder if you and I see the same things when we look at the sky.

People have peered into the depths of our sky and beyond since we’ve first opened our eyes. Countless limits in our way be dammed, the quest for knowledge and discovery is stronger. To need to know the infinite possibilities, truths, knowledge, and beauty is passed down generation to generation. Many lives and realities are extinguished without anyone finding what will satisfy their curiosity.

I have found what I’m looking for in the sky, and I know we don’t see the same thing.

Darling, I see you. What do you see?

[thelightsideofsin]

Is it love or lust that drives a side glance? A look away from the perceived love to another whose candle burns bright(er). Is it neither? Is it the chase, the thrill of the hunt? The novelty of being chased and chasing a passion socially looked down upon?

Does it even matter? The side glances meet and for a moment acknowledge each other. Truly acknowledge each other in ways no one else can. The next kiss is planned. The next embrace moments after that.

Love? Lust? Passion? Those aren’t the words they use.

“Mine.”

What other word would suffice?

[thelightsideofsin]

You said it would last forever

Yet I didn’t realize forever had an expiry date.

It really threw me for a bender

Did you know that would be my fate?

I wonder how many forevers you’ve had

Too many I’m sure, more than one is bad.

[thelightsideofsin]

The Earth slows and the intensity of every day life crawls to a halt. I look around and the world is still, the slowness stretching to unimaginable distances. Each step is free, each breath drawn fresh, each sound thundering when there’s no motion. The sky pauses, the laws of motion and physics so quickly discarded. There is nothing but this moment, and each moment upon moment thereafter is full of peace and serenity.

I used to stay up late at night for this. I wonder now, how night feels when I already feel this with you?

[thelightsideofsin]

The only way to get good at doing something hard is by progressively doing harder and harder things every day. Nothing is easy at first, it takes time and failures to learn what success is. No one came into this world speaking perfectly, walking perfectly, writing perfectly, doing anything perfectly. Life is full of struggle, but the real struggle comes from a lack of trying.

It’s time to struggle, time to innovate, time to redefine and create. Miss me with all your complaints, don’t be a master of ain’ts and cain’ts. Only a fool gives up without trying, restoring to cheap ass crying. I’m about to school the school, like I said I ain’t no fool.

[thelightsideofsin]

I’ve never really looked in the mirror.

Not much to see really. I don’t take selfies much. My physical appearance is not something I’ve like.

My new apartment has sliding full length mirrors as closet doors. As such, I’m now forced to look at myself regardless if I care to or not.

I’ve discovered my hands do the vein thing. My legs are much more toned than I gave myself credit for. I’m not as fat as I used to be.

I look decent?

Someone thinks so anyway, and I must believe them (they may use different words).

I’ve never really looked in the mirror but now I have. It’s not as bad as I thought.

[thelightsideofsin]

It’s so important to allow yourself a crush. Why reject the pep in your step, the gentle breeze in the air, the sun smiling down upon you? Does it need to turn romantic?

I want to appreciate the feeling of having a crush. The wonderment and excitement in the air, the reinvigorating beat of my heart, the rush of sound that hums ever more harmoniously. It’s nice to blush, to harmlessly flirt, to feel joy and delight as you spend moments with them.

It’s just nice.