A Matter of Equality
A friend made a comment on my personal Facebook page that, while well-intentioned, kind of infuriated me. I had posted a series of screenshots of tweets from author Seanan McGuire describing a child meltdown in an airport because Mom had brought only “boy” movies for the children to watch. The child melting down was a girl-child who was upset at Mom’s bias toward bringing movies brother liked and not bringing any of her favorites.
I commented that my feeling on the matter that the mother was failing in one of the fundamental jobs of a mother: making sure that the boy-child is prepared to exist in a world where not everything revolves around him and his feelings. My friend commented that there were also many women who labored under this delusion as well.
Now… while this is true, it still rankled on me.
As a society, men, especially Caucasian men, and their contributions are valued more than women. They get higher pay for the same jobs, are taken more seriously, and, on average, white male laypersons feel they have an imperative to correct female expert’s knowledge.
In school, girls are routinely sent home for dress code violations because they are a “distraction to the boys”. This is not only demeaning to the boys (with its implication that they are barely better than animals, incapable of exhibiting self-control), it sends a message to the girls that their ability to receive an education comes second to that of their male classmates.
Dress Code Scandals of 2015
Girl Sent Home for Wearing A Long-Sleeved T-Shirt Dress
LA Dress Codes
Dress Codes documentary
In the workplace, even when women gain a position of authority, men have a tendency to interrupt them when they try to speak. Not only that, but even when men do most of the talking in meetings, there is still a perception that when a woman speaks at all, she talks far more than she actually does. This is not opinion, but fact backed up by numerous scientific studies analyzing the amount of time men and women talk and the number of times they interrupt one another:
Kamala Harris
Gal Interrupted on Forbes.com
Gender Language Differences
Women in the Classroom at Harvard Law
The American Association of University Women Educational Foundation study
Even justices on the Supreme Court aren’t free of having their thoughts interrupted by their male colleagues.
On social media, women who are experts in their field (including astronauts, scientists, coders, and many others), are bombarded by men who have no particular expertise in these fields who feel the need to correct and/or explain to them details of their field.
Gender, Status and Power in Discourse Behavior of Men and Women
Gender Gap in 2012 Election Coverage
Publishing’s Gender Gap
WHO NARRATES THE WORLD? The OpEd Project Byline Report
The Art of Mansplaining
As a Woman in Science...
Being a Female in Science
Even when a woman is not an expert in the field, especially in geek culture, she can find herself under attack for simply expressing an opinion.
Geek culture, while considered generally inclusive, can be particularly virulent. There are men who feel it is some sort of right for them to “gatekeep” against “fake geeks”. As with experts in other fields, even women who write in the comic industry and have current bylines on popular titles like the Incredible Hulk can find themselves subject to men questioning their “geek cred” on social media.
How Geek Gatekeeping is Bad for Business
The End of Gatekeeping: The Extinction Burst of Gaming Culture
What is Geek Culture?
Cultural stereotypes as gatekeepers
More Women Than Ever Are Marvel Creators, but Does That Matter?
So. While it is true that there are many women who feel that the world revolves around them, it is usually the result of internal family dynamics rather than an aspect of societal valuation. It is not the same thing.
There has been progress in achieving true male/female equality:
· Girls are protesting when dress codes are unfairly enforced and boys are starting to support them.
· Women are pursuing positions of authority and academic achievement in greater numbers.
· A female led superhero movie is dominating at the box office despite rumors of a “mess” of a production and comparatively non-existent marketing.
However, there is still a lot yet to be done. It’s up to all of us, male and female. Women need to be more assertive in not accepting the limitations that society tries to force upon us. Men need to support the efforts of women to push back against those limitations, including being conscious of their own behaviors when it comes to women (please pause and consider if it’s really necessary for you to speak right then or if it can wait before you jump in when a woman is speaking), and pushing back against the behavior of others in their circle of friends when they exhibit behavior that is questionable.
While it seems daunting when looked at as a whole, if we each do our own part, we can make a huge impact.
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