hot takes you never knew you didn't need

Magpie | 33 | Poland | main & ao3 @ magpiedragon | just need to drop some nonsense and run, don't mind me

[whatachaos]

If you’re not making the sin that lives inside your head rent free foot the bill what are you even doing,

[whatachaos]

Shout out to

Bincentenary man who cannot admit to having friends and is emotionally constipated about it

Gotta be my favorite gender

[whatachaos]

I wanna be clear I watched FMAB taking for granted that everyone was, like, thirty years old and I'm gonna act like it 😭

Yes I decided it I make the rules

[homunculus-is-us]

[themagpiealchemist]

I just like to think he would rly get a kick out of knowing all the things and resources he has.

He makes absolutely no mention of it, ever, until he whips out an abacus when people least expect it.

[buttercupsss]

Drew him for like two straight days. I think you can see the improvement. I like how I draw him A LOT better now. I was also using him as pose and anatomy practice on the second one lolsies i love my husband

[number1greedlingfan]

can envy swim?

no, they sink like a rock

no, they're lazy

yes, dog paddles like a bitch

yes, they're literally michael phelps. baddest alive

secret fifth option? whisper it to me... (comments/tags/asks)

Voting ended onApr 13

[themagpiealchemist]

[number1greedlingfan]

[themagpiealchemist]

リングリ erasure. Smh.

[number1greedlingfan]

Can you guys stop thinking about greed i can feel it

[homunculus-is-us]

Reminder that Greed doesn’t like covering his face w his ultimate shield so much he lost his whole chimera gang

[the-shrimp-alchemist]

love this guy. sometimes i wonder what he was thinking during those years.

[sntluzi]

ling: *makes the most obvious attempts at flirting*

greed, internally: nah, i just know this is all strictly platonic for him.

but seriously. greed is confident with himself and is a master at flirting. funny how the person he used to call a brat is the one who makes him fold now.

[sntluzi]

ed, al and may chang, who are all visibly tired of his shit: why don't you just ask?!

greed: i don't want to ruin our friendship...

[sntluzi]

ling, whose attempts all got either awkward laughs and joking replies from greed: he could have anyone he wants after all. it's probably not just me

everyone around them: *tears their hair off in frustration*

[themagpiealchemist]

YES, you can do SUCH a funny mix of dynamics with these two.

Like one, they never had to talk about feelings before, what a downgrade.

Then Ling wears like up to three layers of masks and probably sucks at being genuine.

Greed imo there are understandable reasons why he would be scared to ever show something matters to him and casual sex can work as a substitute for affection without being all that emotionally vulnerable. But now he just straight up gets the real deal and it is. Very confusing.

Ling thinks he is only interesting for the Emperor part and that Greed will get bored at some point. Greed lowkey worries about overstaying his welcome when he has nowhere else to go, but Ed's couch.

You can very easily make this a lack of communication hell, bonus if they are never further than ten feet apart the entire time.

[sntluzi]

'falling in love with your best friend and trying your best to bury the feelings deep, deep down where they can't see because the risk of losing them forever hurts more than loving them in secret' really applies to these two.

like you just know when ling's not swamped with emperor duties they're almost always inseparable but neither will admit that they're becoming more than just close friends/allies even if everyone around them says otherwise. because other than assuming that the biggest reason that they're still just together is for their own self-serving reasons, tipping the scale of a delicate relationship that started out as using each other as a means for their own benefit might make them lose what they treasure the most now: each other.

they're both torn between wanting something more without the complications of commitment. they're happy now, why change it? however without any official label they're just stuck in kind of a situationship limbo where they just daydream about how they could've been more if they just took a chance.

i'd pay to be lan fan and may chang tbh. i'd be content seeing these two dance around their feelings because they're cowards :)

[themagpiealchemist]

I tend to think about it like.

Whether they planned to or not they sort of ended up doing the ultimate intimacy speedrun by sharing a body and you just don't come out of that the same as you went in.

And getting 'together' together just sort of. Is almost the most normal/expected way to continue that?? Like, at least everyone around you can breathe a sigh of relief, put you in a box and move on.

As opposed to having to watch these two bitches look at each other with soft eyes and have like zero personal space, but neither caring to acknowledge anything they are doing is unusual.

So, in a way what they will or won't do or label themselves as is almost secondary to the need to have the real 'what if that thing we went through meant everything to me. Haha, just kidding. Unless...?' feelings conversation, until then they just 'secretly' pine forever.

I think it would be very funny to watch for a bit, but eventually even Lan Fan is on board with locking them in a closet.

...meanwhile most of Ling's court probably just assumes Greed is an uhhh male favourite from the start :')

[sntluzi]

right?? maybe the reason why they're so afraid to 'cross boundaries' is because the boundary was crossed the moment they got fused together and find it very daunting to move forward from what they had, which is literally and figuratively the most intimate two people could ever get.. so anything outside of it is foreign territory to these two.

hope lan fan's plan to lock them up so they can sort it out works. if it doesn't, maybe ed, winry, al and may chang could pay them another visit and play 'couples counseling'.

'...meanwhile noat of Ling's court probably just assumes Greed is an uhhh male favorite from the start' yep. how much are you willing to bet that a few of those people already assume that the real reason why ling has been holding off marrying anyone from the other clans is not really because he's too busy with xing's affairs like he always says but because of the man whose almost always just beside him?

[themagpiealchemist]

I swear someday I'll sit down and plot the quasi court politics/harem comedy that is begging to be written about this...

Like, Emperor moves in a crass foreigner, keeps him close and basically lets him do whatever he wants?? Obviously he is bedding him.

And like, eeesh, you'd expect someone more refined, but well, there is no accounting for taste, the Emperor is very young and you'd have to be blind not to see you could crack an egg on those abs, soooo.

More importantly, he is not getting gifted estates left and right and he does not seem to have family around, so he is, at least initially, not a problem, not the way Ling's court is used to thinking.

From where they are sitting the only worse thing the Emperor could do that is Not favour their daughter/niece/cousin is to favour the daughter/niece/cousin of a rival clan, so I think they may be willing to sit tight on him not taking any wives/concubines for a bit and indulge Ling's explanations about being busy and/or not wanting to propagate the heir hunger games...

But yeah they would be increasing the pressure eventually, if you look at Qing china crown princes were generally married off by 16 lol.

Like.

Maybe the Emperor is actually spending a bit too much time with his boy toy >>

[sntluzi]

ling: *makes the most obvious attempts at flirting*

greed, internally: nah, i just know this is all strictly platonic for him.

but seriously. greed is confident with himself and is a master at flirting. funny how the person he used to call a brat is the one who makes him fold now.

[sntluzi]

ed, al and may chang, who are all visibly tired of his shit: why don't you just ask?!

greed: i don't want to ruin our friendship...

[sntluzi]

ling, whose attempts all got either awkward laughs and joking replies from greed: he could have anyone he wants after all. it's probably not just me

everyone around them: *tears their hair off in frustration*

[themagpiealchemist]

YES, you can do SUCH a funny mix of dynamics with these two.

Like one, they never had to talk about feelings before, what a downgrade.

Then Ling wears like up to three layers of masks and probably sucks at being genuine.

Greed imo there are understandable reasons why he would be scared to ever show something matters to him and casual sex can work as a substitute for affection without being all that emotionally vulnerable. But now he just straight up gets the real deal and it is. Very confusing.

Ling thinks he is only interesting for the Emperor part and that Greed will get bored at some point. Greed lowkey worries about overstaying his welcome when he has nowhere else to go, but Ed's couch.

You can very easily make this a lack of communication hell, bonus if they are never further than ten feet apart the entire time.

[sntluzi]

'falling in love with your best friend and trying your best to bury the feelings deep, deep down where they can't see because the risk of losing them forever hurts more than loving them in secret' really applies to these two.

like you just know when ling's not swamped with emperor duties they're almost always inseparable but neither will admit that they're becoming more than just close friends/allies even if everyone around them says otherwise. because other than assuming that the biggest reason that they're still just together is for their own self-serving reasons, tipping the scale of a delicate relationship that started out as using each other as a means for their own benefit might make them lose what they treasure the most now: each other.

they're both torn between wanting something more without the complications of commitment. they're happy now, why change it? however without any official label they're just stuck in kind of a situationship limbo where they just daydream about how they could've been more if they just took a chance.

i'd pay to be lan fan and may chang tbh. i'd be content seeing these two dance around their feelings because they're cowards :)

[themagpiealchemist]

I tend to think about it like.

Whether they planned to or not they sort of ended up doing the ultimate intimacy speedrun by sharing a body and you just don't come out of that the same as you went in.

And getting 'together' together just sort of. Is almost the most normal/expected way to continue that?? Like, at least everyone around you can breathe a sigh of relief, put you in a box and move on.

As opposed to having to watch these two bitches look at each other with soft eyes and have like zero personal space, but neither caring to acknowledge anything they are doing is unusual.

So, in a way what they will or won't do or label themselves as is almost secondary to the need to have the real 'what if that thing we went through meant everything to me. Haha, just kidding. Unless...?' feelings conversation, until then they just 'secretly' pine forever.

I think it would be very funny to watch for a bit, but eventually even Lan Fan is on board with locking them in a closet.

...meanwhile most of Ling's court probably just assumes Greed is an uhhh male favourite from the start :')

[sntluzi]

ling: *makes the most obvious attempts at flirting*

greed, internally: nah, i just know this is all strictly platonic for him.

but seriously. greed is confident with himself and is a master at flirting. funny how the person he used to call a brat is the one who makes him fold now.

[sntluzi]

ed, al and may chang, who are all visibly tired of his shit: why don't you just ask?!

greed: i don't want to ruin our friendship...

[sntluzi]

ling, whose attempts all got either awkward laughs and joking replies from greed: he could have anyone he wants after all. it's probably not just me

everyone around them: *tears their hair off in frustration*

[themagpiealchemist]

YES, you can do SUCH a funny mix of dynamics with these two.

Like one, they never had to talk about feelings before, what a downgrade.

Then Ling wears like up to three layers of masks and probably sucks at being genuine.

Greed imo there are understandable reasons why he would be scared to ever show something matters to him and casual sex can work as a substitute for affection without being all that emotionally vulnerable. But now he just straight up gets the real deal and it is. Very confusing.

Ling thinks he is only interesting for the Emperor part and that Greed will get bored at some point. Greed lowkey worries about overstaying his welcome when he has nowhere else to go, but Ed's couch.

You can very easily make this a lack of communication hell, bonus if they are never further than ten feet apart the entire time.

[yay-fullmetal]

[sideluzi]

really mad at myself rn because i shouldn't have read a hurt/no comfort greedling fic just before going to sleep and when i'm not processing my feelings right. the whole thing just gutted me and i'm now reduced to a puddle of tears and left with the intense feeling of wanting to re-read everything again when i'm well-rested so i can admire it properly, and just so i can have my heart torn to shreds again. (ಥ﹏ಥ)

[themagpiealchemist]

:)

[sideluzi]

y'know what.. this is embarrassing but i was quite sleepy when i started reading last night and hurried to the content since i needed a quick read to help me sleep. i came back to it this morning and read the whole thing again, and i just read that i am mutuals with not just one, but both authors in this account..

i don't wanna put spoilers here but i want to say that it was magnificent. and it hurt. but in a good way. like the hurt/no comfort tags should've already warned me but it didn't really make it more bearable. it's very effective.

[themagpiealchemist]

Let me assure you, nothing about us being like

right now should be indicating we do not want to hear about people having the exact reaction we hoped to elicit.

Please tell authors this kind of thing. It is a pretty safe bet we love to hear it and will adore you forever. Sometimes it even makes more fic happen!!

(You are very welcome 8))

...also I saw this because I lurk in the greedling search results and not because we are mutuals if that helps lmaoo

[sideluzi]

really mad at myself rn because i shouldn't have read a hurt/no comfort greedling fic just before going to sleep and when i'm not processing my feelings right. the whole thing just gutted me and i'm now reduced to a puddle of tears and left with the intense feeling of wanting to re-read everything again when i'm well-rested so i can admire it properly, and just so i can have my heart torn to shreds again. (ಥ﹏ಥ)

[themagpiealchemist]

:)

[darkaviarymc]

Thinking about Greed for the Pokémon teams and I think OG Greed and Greedling would have different teams but they'd still have the same lead Meowth.

So. Should OG Greed's team be themed around the sin of greed or should they be themed around his chimera team from The Devil's Nest? I've only got four slots to work with bc Meowth and Sableye (every homunculus has a Sableye) are already decided.

Also, I think it would be funny if, even as Greedling, Greed and Ling still have separate teams. Ling's Pokémon refuse to obey Greed and it pisses Greed off.

[themagpiealchemist]

I like Crobat for him because it is this 'evil' team rocket pokemon that only evolves at high friendship.