The Main Jay

Me vommiting out words onto paper then putting them on the internet.

[tellherium]

This loneliness sits like a brick on my chest with the weight of the texts you’ll never send back.

All these people, all alone // Mt

[themainjayposts-blog]

My Life is a Mess

Mad, happy, disappointed, sad. Scared, hurt, weak, and never alert. 

All I do is work, that is really it. all it does is hurt, I wish this was it. never did i want this, but who cares? If there is one thing I can say, it is that you don’t choose your life. So do what makes you happy, and make quick decisions, that could change everything, because its those changes that will end up defining who you are.

[themainjayposts-blog]

IDK (Living with Anxiety P1)

In between the sheets, not being able to focus, too much on my mind, and another restless night. I can’t stop thinking about the fire that burns inside me, and the special place you hold in my heart. 

Cold, and dry hands holding onto covers at 3am, not concerned about how messed up my sleep schedule may be. Deep down I feel as though there is something bothering me, but I can’t figure out what it is, I just wish I could think like a normal person.

I’m on top of the world, everything i’ve ever wanted is here, and I have it, what else could i ask for? I have what I need, and I get what I get what I want so why does it feel like I am missing something? I don’t know.

[poems-and-word]

[thelovelylittlepoet]

I fall in love so easily. Maybe that’s why I built the walls massive and secure  and the trenches so deep, maybe that is why I was hesitant to let you in. Because; The first time I met the ocean, he waved to me, then pulled me in- ankles first and heart second. The first time I met the moon- I mean the first time I really saw it  glistening in the sky  and kissing the stars- I fell for him too. The first time I met the mountain-tops  with their vast glorious peaks, they captivated me like nothing else, and I felt myself entertaining a new passion  for their immense beauty. I thought all that was enough- I didn’t think I needed more But then, I met you. and the first time I met you your deep ocean eyes wrapped me up like a high tide, your glistening smile created this instant demand for your lips, and when you did kiss me- they brought me to heights mountains couldn’t touch. The first time I met you; I saw myself falling again for the last time.

SNM (via thelovelylittlepoet)

[themainjayposts-blog]

She’s Only Happy When Shes High (Excerpt From P1)

Holes in her brain, holes in her heart. Sad is her only emotion, and pain is all she feels, disowned by family, and no where to go, she turns to a guy, but little does she know. It won’t work. 

Turning to drugs in hopes of making things better, but that only makes her life harder. Maybe she will learn, but she probably won’t, if only she would listen. She only cares about herself.

What a shame, she doesn’t want help, it kills me that she is still acting blind like she can’t see, if only she would be like me, or anyone. For what it is worth, I saw this coming, but no one believed me. She could have been something, I guess we will see. Maybe I was wrong, maybe she won’t leave.

[themainjayposts-blog]

[poems-and-word]

[poems-and-word]

[the-book-diaries]

I’m in love with you. I’m in love with this all.

Virginia Woolf,  To The Lighthouse (via the-book-diaries)