Shit Damon Says: The Remake Pt 1
Funny starters based on things I have actually said:
“I’m not obsessed with knives, I just like sharp pointy objects. ”
“ I’ve got anal glaucoma, I just can’t see my ass goin’ anywhere today.”
“ I’ll eat your soul with a rusty fuckin’ spoon.”
“Pickles are the instigators of communism.”
“ Santa wouldn’t give me a pony, but I’d ride you like a horse.”
“ Are you really hanging up pictures at 3 in the morning?”
“No, you shouldn’t be having sex with a lawnmower”
“Here I am tending to my memes and watering my blog with relatable ™️ content and y'all can’t stop poppin boners for 5 goddamn seconds.”
“TOUCH A TIDDIE -Name here- U CAN DO IT!”
“ They like gemini twins, yin an yang….only they both Taurus”
“ TIME TO GET STRIPPERIN AT WORK! ”
“ Look, I cannot believe you would out me like this. ”
“ I am super innocent, never seen a single tiddie. ”
“ You would blame me for these shenanigans. ”
“ GOOD JOB -Name here-, YOU FUCKED GOD! ”
“I AM LIKE GAY FOR HORROR. “
"I had one my friend mixed that had absynthe, rum, jaeger and a few different vodkas, it was nothing but alochol and it was….disgusting. We nicknamed it "Mouthwash” and I was the only one who would drink it…a whole fucking red solo cup"
“ Antisocial bitch does art, more at 10. ”
“ What is the sex, I have no clue. ”
“ I have never in my life even looked at 1 smut. ”
“ GET THE ANGEL NAKED!! “
” Apparently I’m attracted to murderous assholes. “
” ….actually that isn’t a joke, one of my exes legit murdered someone recently soooo…. “
” Imagine finding out dodging THAT bullet. “
” That’s what he gets for being a big ol dickbag. “
” Wow just like in real life. “
” See him strip, see him daaance, making God shit in his paaants~ “
” OOOHHH SEE THAT BOY, MAKE A SCENE, HE WANNA FLIRT WITH A QUEEN~ “
” Paypal hung up on me like a bunch of douches. “
” God put the pointy end in the squishy part. Make big ow. “
” He will kill you later Chuckie Sneeze. “
” Okay imma poof now that I have upset the balance with skeleton dick. “
” That artist didn’t draw him buff enough lmao. “
"A SKELETOn??? IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN SERVER??!?”
“ She’s a turd. A witch with a capital B. ”
“ Every day is sexually frustrate -Name Here- day if you aren’t a bitch.”
“ I had to be an antisocial eboy and listen to music to bring back my will to live. ”
“ Mini Apocalypse in the livingroom. ”
“ Snap me Daddykins UwU ”
“ That was exactly why I said it, for cringe factor lmaooo. ”
“ I describe myself as ” Casual Disinterest #Aesthetic" “
” GOOD THING HE’S BEEN TO A STRIPCLUB. “
” Wait who is already naked? “
” I’m like a huge music nerd, my loner self will just listen to music all the time. “
"Enters Chic-Fil-A, BBQ sauce on my gender non conforming nipples. Dick out. I am forcibly removed from the premises. ”
“ THEY WERE SENDING PICS SO I NEEDED TO SEND BACK WHAT I WAS PACKIN. ”
“ I think that is the proper response to dick pics right? ”
titsay
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yousharknotpass
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