sasori

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

Perhaps Deidara was imagining it, but he was pretty sure Sasori’s voice had changed a tone or two since the first conversations they’d shared, and it had little to do with the fact that he was no longer hiding in that creepy doll of his. Somehow Sasori no longer held the same resentment for Deidara that he’d done since the moment they’d met. It was almost like Deidara had been wrong from the start, even before he’d said anything at all, and somehow Sasori hadn’t been able to let go of that, until last night. Deidara wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing–as it certainly meant Sasori was seeing him in a new light now–but it helped their relationship along, Deidara supposed, and if they were going to be spending the next few months, if not years, together that was going to make a big difference.

Deidara didn’t have a lot of belongings. That was to say he didn’t carry most of them around with him. But he had enough to make packing a bit of a hassle. That had more to do with the fact that he tended to leave his things all over the place, however, and not with the amount of stuff he carried with him. Most of it had either to do with his art, or his appearance.

“I’ve got everything,” he said, after pulling the bag over his shoulder. He turned to look at Sasori then, who luckily hadn’t asked how he’d slept, or whether he’d slept at all. Apparently that wasn’t the kind of conversation Deidara was going to be subject to from now on. “I’m not the one who still needs to get dressed. So to speak, hm.”

When the door opened and he was faced with Deidara, ready with his backpack over his shoulder, Sasori realised the boy truly barely had slept. The dark rings around his eyes said as much and the hazy look in his eyes made up for the rest. And besides that, his hair wasn’t tended to yet, which Sasori had never seen before.

“That will only take a minute,” Sasori spoke, turning his back to Deidara and walking down the hallway. Sasori wondered if Deidara felt inclined to comment on it because he was feeling vulnerable about himself and wanted to divert the attention to Sasori being clearly more exposed than he was used to. Well, he definitely hadn’t expected to show himself like this, but the same went for Deidara and he knew what he preferred.

He had packed everything he needed and Hiruko was ready, waiting by the entrance of the house they’d claimed for themselves. The only problem now was that he needed to get in it, while Deidara was watching.

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

It wasn’t like he’d expected any better, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating. He’d spent most of the night trying to forget what had happened, and the brief moments that his mind would wander elsewhere, he’d feel too disturbed to slip asleep before the inevitable return of all those memories.

He might’ve fallen in and out of sleep a few times, but nothing lasting and nothing deep. By the time morning came, Deidara was sufficiently drained and exhausted. Almost to the point where he could no longer think of yesterday’s events as anything coherent at all.

He let out a groan at the sound of a knock on his door, already aware Sasori would be at the other end, ready to get on with the day. It baffled Deidara how Sasori never seemed to waste time on anything. He didn’t even have a morning routine.

Deidara pushed himself up, figuring it was too late to try for another five minutes now, even if he was pretty sure he might actually manage at this point. Better luck tonight, he supposed. Besides, the more time they could spend moving, the better his chances of getting away from Hidan. As it was now, they were still too close.

“I’ll be right there,” he groaned in the direction of the door, figuring Sasori was just going to keep knocking if he didn’t confirm he was getting up.

There wasn’t as much pressure behind their mission as there could be, which was exactly why he’d let Deidara sleep as long as he had, but they had to go soon. It was unlikely Deidara had gotten much sleep, after what happened yesterday, which Sasori was still desperately trying to wrap his head around. It was pretty much unbelievable, what had happened before his eyes.

Alphas? Omegas? How did that exist? Never in his life had he come across something so... surreal, and that was saying a lot, considering he’d seen a lot. He supposed that being a long term member of the Akatsuki exposed him to a whole lot of peculiar jutsus, especially after years of working alongside Orochimaru.

But this... this was different. Deidara had said himself that this wasn’t a jutsu. This was something you were born with, like a bloodline ability, except... it was nothing like that. Sasori wasn’t bothered by why it existed, because why was never the question. How it existed and how it had possibly come to be... that was that he wanted to know. Maybe somebody was responsible for this.

“We need to leave soon. Make sure not to forget anything.”

He’d lied there for what felt like hours, passing in and out of consciousness. The pain had destroyed his throat from screaming and crying. He’d vomited over and over again and then he’d lied face first in the dirt, on the verge of giving into it. He’d even begun considering whether he wanted to die, even though he wasn’t capable of it. The pain was unbearable and it had felt like his agony was just suspended in time. It felt like hell, like he was burning up. But this was not Jashin’s doing. Jashin was trying to save him through every surge of adrenaline that kept him from passing out.

And then Jashin had saved him by sending help his way.

He didn’t know how long he’d been lying there for, but the light had changed considerably, he thought. He’d never been that glad to look Kakuzu in the eyes before. He didn’t look concerned or worried. He only looked annoyed and vaguely disgusted, probably because of the mixture of dried vomit, drool and dirt on his face. But it didn’t matter, because he was found now and surely that meant he was going to be okay?

Kakuzu had somehow got him back to the lair, grunting in annoyance at all their lost time, because of what he’d done, because he was too selfish to just stick to the plan. Apparently they couldn’t leave until Hidan was able to speak to Pain about what he’d done, not that he could even comprehend what he had done anymore, with that level of pain soaring through his body. All he knew was that Deidara was responsible for this... and Deidara was going to pay with every inch of his body.

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

Deidara wondered whether Sasori was aware of his own contradictions. It was only yesterday that Sasori had made a point out of Deidara being too young and naive to understand anything of the world he’d just walked into. Deidara had begged to differ, but Sasori hadn’t cared to get into a discussion about it, leaving Deidara feeling annoyed for the remainder of their journey. But whatever, tonight he apparently wasn’t a child. If it suited Sasori best, Deidara supposed there was no arguing it.

He let out a quiet sigh and looked aside, as he was well aware the night was going to be long and frustrating. He might even be tempted to take Sasori up on his offer, but he probably wouldn’t. He’d have to get really desperate to take such measures. He’d already shown more than enough of himself for the day. More than he ever wanted any dangerous ninja to see, especially one as unpredictable as Sasori. Deidara still hadn’t figured out why Sasori had saved him in the first place, but he supposed he was never going to find out.

It was only when he looked back at Sasori that he noticed the other was looking at his lips. Deidara instantly frowned and crossed his arms, turning his head away. “You can think about it somewhere else,” he snapped in annoyance. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Deidara,” he replied, stepped back and through the door opening back into the hallway. He gave Deidara one last glance and then shut the door behind him, heading straight towards his own room. He had a lot to work on and he supposed he should rest his chakra tonight, before their journey tomorrow.

It was only when he had left the room that Deidara’s words actually got through to him and he felt infinitely amused by the idea that Deidara thought the only reason he’d been looking at Deidara like that was that he was thinking of what Hidan had done to him. He couldn’t quite say that he’d not been thinking about that, but it certainly wasn’t the only thing. Perhaps he was thinking of something a little more gentle.

He’d thought about Deidara all night, thought about what he’d seen and how close he’d been able to get to Deidara after. He thought about the way he’d screamed and begged and then sworn to kill the man who’d made him do that.

If he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, he likely wouldn’t have believed it to be true. But now he knew... the possibilities were infinite, right? And not just with Deidara.

He knocked on the boy’s door, wondering how he’d gotten through the night, after what had happened. “Rise and shine, Deidara.”

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

Deidara had looked up at Sasori’s first words. It was true that he’d fought it off for a long time, but he hadn’t necessarily wanted to be acknowledged for it. If Sasori was going to acknowledge him for anything, Deidara would rather be acknowledged for his fighting or his art, not how long he’d managed to fight off absolute temptation.

It was a good thing Sasori’s next words came swiftly and utterly distracted him from the first. Sasori’s expression changed in a way Deidara hadn’t seen it do before. In all this time Sasori had looked almost unaffected, but that had changed now. It was clear Sasori was invested, personally. Deidara couldn’t quite figure out why, but he could see it was true.

You’re safe here, you know that, right?

He wasn’t sure that he did, but he supposed he should try to take Sasori’s word for it, if he was to get any sleep tonight at all. It was going to be difficult, if not impossible, but he was going to need as much of it as he could get.

“You don’t need to comfort me,” Deidara stated. “I’m not a child.”

Sasori could understand why Deidara felt vulnerable and eager to protect his dignity, after everything Sasori had seen and everything Deidara had shared with him. Sasori did wonder whether he could possibly view Deidara the same way he’d viewed him before all of this. Probably not. Sasori had seem him spread out in the dirt with a man on top of him, ravaging every inch of his being. Sasori thought that it was going to be near impossible to forget that. But it didn’t mean he had to think of Deidara as weaker. It just meant that Deidara had a strong weakness that he needed to look out for, considering Deidara couldn’t protect himself. For some strange reason, he couldn’t help liking that.

“Not only children need comfort,” Sasori spoke, looking Deidara in the eye before taking a step back. “I’ll be in my room if you need me. We’ll be leaving early tomorrow, so try to get as much rest as possible.”

His eyes lingered on Deidara’s, then on his lips, then his hair. He was exquisite and certainly not something he wanted to see dealt with roughly again.

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

Deidara had been curious for Sasori’s answer, although he never expected it to come in many words. It would be some time before Sasori would reveal anything like what Deidara had just been forced to share, if he ever would. Sasori didn’t seem the kind to open up to anyone. A story had never been the purpose of Deidara’s question, however, so this was a good enough answer for the moment.

“Well… this craving is probably worse than any you’ve felt before,” Deidara replied, feeling no shame in possibly undermining whatever memories Sasori had just conjured. After all, Deidara was pretty sure he was right on this one, and if Sasori wanted to challenge him on it, then Deidara would gladly invite him to share the full story.

He noticed how Sasori had resumed staring as Deidara’s fingers moved through his hair and he wondered whether his actions were annoying Sasori who seemed to make a point out of standing as still as he could possibly manage. Deidara continued nonetheless.

“I can sense when Hidan is close,” Deidara said, his voice having changed to something more matter-of-fact now that he was going to talk strategy. “But he knows that,” he continued. “Which means that he’ll make sure that when I sense him, it’s already too late.” Unless Hidan was a complete idiot, that was, but Deidara didn’t suppose they let complete idiots into this group.

He moved his hair back over his shoulder, finally satisfied. “I should get some sleep.” But that required moving and putting pressure on his wounds… which were things he wasn’t looking forward to.

Sasori couldn’t imagine living with the kind of force that connected you to another kind of human, a force that wasn’t in control or in the slightest controllable.

“If the craving truly is that severe, then you certainly fought it for a long time,” Sasori stated, before nodding at the mention of sleep. He had already been in here for longer than he’d planned for, and he was probably keeping Deidara up.

“Whatever Hidan plans to do, I won’t let him have you,” Sasori spoke, looking Deidara in the eye, before letting his facial expression turn softer, almost comforting. He figured Deidara deserved that much, after everything he’d just been through, after the man he’d tried and failed to fight off him. “We can talk about a strategy tomorrow, now get some sleep.”

Sasori supposed that was easier said than done. He remembered how difficult getting to sleep used to be and how long it sometimes took, especially when he’d had something on his mind, like Deidara just had.

“You’re safe here, you know that, right?”

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

Was he supposed to tell Sasori that he had been fighting off almost irresistible urges since before he’d even laid eyes on Hidan. Should he tell Sasori that it was practically unheard of for an omega to do what Deidara had just done? Should he tell him that he had no idea whether he could do it again whenever he’d see Hidan next? That his entire body had wanted to fall down to the floor before Hidan? That he’d not been able to stop drooling?

Sasori hadn’t answered him. That’s what was really bothering him.

“It’s pretty instant,” Deidara stated. Because Sasori had to know these things, didn’t he? If he was serious about helping Deidara, then he ought to know, no matter how Deidara wanted to keep most of this a secret. If possible he’d reverse Sasori ever having found out, but that would mean he would’ve lost his agency at this point and Hidan might’ve been walking around with a metaphorical leash around Deidara’s neck.

Deidara moved his hands back up to his hair, which was finally starting to dry. He moved his fingers through it, almost absent-mindedly, making sure it’d dry properly. Else he’d just be washing it all over again by tomorrow morning, and he was pretty sure Sasori was going to get impatient with him if he were to do that.

“It feels like…” Deidara continued, because he realised he hadn’t quite answered Sasori’s question. “It’s… Have you ever wanted something so badly that you’d do anything, absolutely anything?”

The question being turned back to Sasori came slightly out of nowhere and Sasori wasn’t sure what to do with it. Their whole conversation had been about Deidara, but now Sasori had to do some thinking, considering he didn’t have a straightforward answer at all.

Sasori had wanted and needed a lot of things in his life. When his parents had died, he’d needed them back. When he saw a certain strength or jutsu or beauty, he needed to have it. When over the years he had accumulated too many scars on his skin, he’d known that he’d needed to become something else.

But he’d always had an answer to that, something achievable. Not necessarily in his parents’ case, though. He remembered the desperation, the heartbreak.

He looked up at Deidara and shrugged a little. “I suppose so,” Sasori replied finally. He’d never wanted anything with an overwhelming urge, but he had wanted and needed things incredibly strongly, to the point that he supposed he would have done anything, especially if his own plans wouldn’t have worked out. He would have done anything to get his parents back, back then. “Maybe, maybe not.”

His eyes lingered on how carefully Deidara was looking after his hair, brushing it all in the right direction, then parting it the way it ought to. Sasori wished that he could be the one running his fingertips through Deidara’s hair. It was so desperately soft.

nightmare

deidara-hmpf:

Sasori was completely insane. Deidara wondered whether he knew that himself, or whether he somehow thought this was normal. Deidara had met all kinds of weird people along the way, but Sasori topped them all. Somehow Deidara had been unlucky enough to be partnered up with him for the foreseeable future.

Deidara watched as Sasori opened the door, though it made him feel slightly sick. It was almost like the dolls had come to life, as there was barely any indication that Sasori was behind every one of their movements, but Deidara knew he was.

“The answer isn’t as simple as you might think, hm,” Deidara stated.

It was still dark outside, which meant he had no excuse to get up now. Not that he needed an excuse. He pushed the blankets away, revealing his bare legs and moving to the edge of the bed. It wasn’t like Sasori expected that story to have made him sleepy, did he?

Sasori didn’t understand why Deidara was getting up from the bed, rather than lying down. He’d just woken up from a nightmare and was wanting to get back to sleep, so why was he getting up? Of course he didn’t really expect Deidara to feel particularly tired after that story, but still...

He watched Deidara and then bowed down to grab the dolls from the ground. It was costing him a lot of chakra to keep them active like this, swaying slightly on their feet, very much animated, even if they weren’t moving much.

“The answer doesn’t have to be simple.”

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

Deidara looked down a moment. Of course Sasori had a lot of questions, but that didn’t mean answering them was easy. Deidara owed his freedom to Sasori, but that didn’t mean he owed Sasori the full story. Too much damage could be done with that kind of power. Even if Sasori wasn’t an Alpha himself, he could use this information. He could threaten Deidara, he could lure him into traps, he could use all those little details about omegas that didn’t require an Alpha’s execution to work. Being an omega manifested itself in more ways than Deidara even knew, but he’d come across a lot of disadvantages along the way.

“No, it’s mostly sexual, but there’s more to it,” Deidara replied. This is where the topic got harder, because it got far more personal. Just because Sasori had seen Deidara half naked and raped on the forest floor didn’t mean he felt comfortable talking about what his sex life was usually like. But there was no sense in telling any lies either, considering Sasori had sworn protection and Deidara would be a fool to think he could discard it. In a way he had to make sure Sasori stayed, even if that meant keeping him satisfied. “As far as I know, it does coincide with your preference. But I was eleven… I have no idea what I liked before this happened to me. I wasn’t interested in… in sex.” But now he was, which was something he didn’t make a secret of. Sasori could know–he probably already did know. “I’ve met some omegas,” Deidara said. “It’s always easy to tell.” Although it was hard to explain how he always knew. It didn’t come with the same allure that the presence of an Alpha did, but they emitted a very particular scent that was easy to pinpoint. They all smelled kind of nice, actually, even Deidara could tell that much.

He looked back up at Sasori, wary and exhausted. “If you’re planning to underestimate me now you know this, I’m going to make sure you regret it, hm.”

Sasori could see that Deidara was finding it harder to talk about sex than any of the other things he’d just mentioned. This was personal, even if it wasn’t as personal as it was for most people, considering this wasn’t really a choice. It was what had been given to him and, although Deidara may found it humiliating, it was more like a curse than anything.

“Ah,” Sasori spoke, a revelation hitting him at the sound of Deidara’s words. Of course Sasori wouldn’t underestimate him, considering this part of Deidara had nothing to do with him, unless... Explaining what he’d just discovered, however, was not something he was going to do. He would let Deidara wonder, this time. He may be feeling protective over Deidara, but that didn’t mean he was about to make it easy for Deidara.

“What does it feel like?” he then asked, looking Deidara up and down. If it worked with an irresistible urge and desire, then Sasori wanted to know what exactly Deidara desired. “It can’t be something instant, can it? You fought Hidan for a long time before you gave in to him.”

nightmare

deidara-hmpf:

This was madness. Deidara felt almost astonished, watching the dolls jump from the bed. Their movements were so precise it was hard to believe Sasori was controlling every single one of them. They were alive into the very details of their motions, which was remarkable.

Deidara’s eyes slowly looked up to follow the girl on her way to the door. He didn’t like this, but he didn’t have to like this. She was real. No, she wasn’t, but a part of her was. Or rather, a part of Sasori was, which made reading through his blank and uninterested expression a little easier. He wasn’t uninterested or unaffected by Deidara’s previous words, no matter how he might want to make it come off that way. Perhaps he even believed himself that he didn’t care. But his words had just given away that he did, because the girl was a doll and whatever she thought, Sasori thought.

“Don’t I?” Deidara asked, while looking back at Sasori instead, because he wasn’t about to start talking to a doll.

Sasori had to check who Deidara was looking at while he spoke (Sasori, or the doll) and was disappointed to see that it was Sasori he was looking at, while he’d made clear that it was the girl who had had the opinions. He supposed not everyone felt comfortable with the idea of dolls coming to life, which was ironic in itself, considering Sasori’s nature.

“You tell me,” Sasori replied, stepping towards the door and opening it so the man could already walk off. The way Sasori did it was as if he was opening the door for a child or a cat, but in actual fact he controlled all of these puppets himself. This was all an act, a game, but it was real to him.

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

Deidara waited for Sasori to take in the many marks and bruises he knew were there. He could feel them beneath his fingertips whenever he moved them across his skin, and what he couldn’t feel like that was made up for in sharp stings or cold shivers running down his spine at the sensation of being touched. It was for that reason he was glad Sasori was careful. In fact, Sasori barely touched him at all. He moved his hair far enough out of the way to have a look, but then stepped away again. Except that his fingers moved all the way down the strands of Deidara’s hair so he wouldn’t be forced to pull free from it in some other way. That had Deidara look up at Sasori, unable to hide his surprise and the slight fluster that had his stomach suddenly turn. There was something about the care that Sasori put into his motions that surprised Deidara, especially as it was such a sheer contrast from everything Hidan had done to him earlier that evening. Not that it didn’t make him panic, just a little, but he could suppress it.

“I’ve rarely found anything on it,” Deidara replied. “It seems most of us want to pretend it isn’t happening. Except for the Alphas… they are different. They’re proud. But the kind of documents they keep are… vile. Lists of victims, mostly.” And he hadn’t even gotten round to explaining to Sasori what exactly happened once someone had been claimed.

Sasori again found himself listening attentively, not wanting to miss a single thing that could help him put the full picture together. He wanted to understand how all of this had come to be and how it picked people. Like Deidara said, it must be something some people were born with, but how? And why?

“I see,” he said, looking Deidara over. If this had started when Deidara was eleven, Sasori had to make the assumption that he’d come across quite a few ‘Alphas’ in the meantime, and by the way he spoke about it, Hidan didn’t seem to be the first one. “Is it purely sexual?” he asked. “I know that some forms of sexual relationships require a distinct hierarchy,”--dominants, submissives--”but this isn’t like that, is it? This is chosen for you... Does it always coincide with your personal preferences?”

There were so many things he wanted to know and he had no idea whether Deidara even knew the answer to the majority of it. If it was rare, then there was no knowing how it generally worked. “Have you ever met other... omegas, too? Can you tell?”

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

Sasori wasn’t expecting a full explanation. That was somewhat of a surprise to Deidara, who had thought Sasori would feel entitled to the full truth after having stepped in to save Deidara. He was glad to find Sasori didn’t, although he couldn’t find what explanation there might be for that. After all… Sasori hadn’t answered his question and Deidara was no closer to understanding why Sasori had stepped in at all, and why he was here now.

Deidara had always thought of his condition as being incredibly primal, even if he didn’t want to admit it out loud. There was something humiliating about not being above one’s instincts, but Sasori had already stated it now and he hadn’t stated it as a question to be answers, but as a mere fact of the matter. Deidara remained silent, figuring there was no point in trying to deny the obvious, when it was just going to draw attention to his own embarrassment and his frustration at not being above this.

As Sasori stepped closer, Deidara felt the urge to take a step back. Ah… the fear was still too fresh in his system and it was going to take some time to stop responding so strongly to anyone trying to get too close. It was no wonder his breathing no longer made it all the way down and his shoulders tensed up, even if Sasori hadn’t literally threatened him. Deidara was finding it hard to trust anyone.

Slowly he lowered his hands from his hair and then he tilted his head to give Sasori better access to whatever he wanted to see up close. Considering Deidara didn’t have much of a mirror–apart from the small one he carried with him everywhere–it might not be such a bad idea to have someone assess his wounds.

“It’s not related to a clan or bloodline as far as I know, hm,” Deidara said. “No one in my family… turned out this way.” And he felt pretty safe saying the same counted for Hidan. Stuff like this seemed to happen at random. If there was a catalyst for it, it had little to do with bloodlines, or any of the ordinary routes jutsus often passed through. “I don’t think this is a jutsu at all. It’s more like a… a condition.”

Sasori stepped closer once Deidara let him and he gently brushed Deidara’s hair backwards, lifting it up. It was so soft in his hand, even though it was still wet, and there was so much of it. Rarely people were blessed with such thick hair, especially when it was blonde, but this was stunning.

“You have a graze here,” Sasori spoke, looking at the mark a little closer. It must have happened when he’d been tossed to the ground and fucked into a rough piece of wood. His back must be covered in bruises and scratches from it all. “It looks quite painful, I can get you an ointment.”

He gently let go of Deidara’s hair again, making sure to let if fall precisely where Deidara had had it before. His fingers brushed through it to straighten it out, showing the care he felt towards it. It was so well cared for. Deidara had almost looked unfamiliar with all of the knots and dirt in his hair before. Not that Sasori had had much time to look at it properly.

“There must be writings about it,” Sasori spoke. “Unless if it’s something new. How many others with this condition have you met?” Sasori’s fingers only now made it all the way down to the ends of Deidara’s hair and then let the strands of hair fall back into place. It was clear that he admired it.

nightmare

deidara-hmpf:

Deidara had to give it to Sasori; that story had been unexpected and definitely intriguing enough to keep Deidara’s attention all the way through. Not that he’d imagined it to be boring, but he hadn’t expected this either. Some thought had gone into this and whether Deidara liked the story or not didn’t even matter, because that wasn’t why Sasori had made it and it certainly wasn’t how Deidara looked at the world. Not unless he was in the club. Ah, perhaps that’s exactly why he liked going there, as it was the only time he allowed himself to let go of all the numerous thought processes that he used whenever he was anywhere else.

Perhaps that’s why Sasori’s words bugged him so much. What did Sasori take him for? He didn’t work like that. Sasori didn’t work like that, did he?

Deidara’s eyes slowly turned back to look at the dolls, wondering why Sasori had picked these specific ones. Deidara wondered whether this was the only story they ever told, or whether Sasori had picked them at random. He didn’t suppose the latter to be the case, considering Sasori’s… nature. He liked things to stay the same. He wanted eternity. Perhaps there were stories about these dolls, but they’d be about the same characters. Deidara wasn’t in a hurry to find out, however, but he knew for a fact that Sasori had left some parts of the story out tonight, for whatever reason.

“Perhaps one day we’ll agree about something,” Deidara started. “But I don’t think that day will come any time soon.” That was about the nicest way to say he wouldn’t feel like he was missing out if he’d never be told another story by Sasori again.

Sasori had stood up from the bed, both his hands still a little outstretched towards the four dolls and at the sound of Deidara’s words--no matter how polite he’d tried to make them sound--the girl jumped down from the bed and out of both their sight. She caught her fall and then walked began to walk towards the door. With a wave of her hand the others followed, the tiger jumping, falling to the floor and only just catching his fall--he was still in pain, after all--and then he waited, watching the boy as he clung on to the blankets, letting himself slide down them little by little until he got to the edge and then had to let himself drop. The man jumped down with ease.

“She thinks you don’t appreciate her,” Sasori said, his own expression remaining blank. He wasn’t upset, because it didn’t matter much what Deidara thought of his work. Sasori knew it was good, brilliant even, and his dolls loved the story he had made for them--or better said: his dolls were glad he told their stories.

He stepped towards the door, the girl standing at it with her hands in her hips. She wasn’t furious, nor upset, because this girl didn’t get upset.

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

Sasori seemed to have accepted that Deidara wasn’t going to lay it all out for him, nice and simple, as he was already asking simpler questions that required no more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. That made matters a whole lot easier for Deidara, although he hadn’t made up his mind as to how much he was truly willing to give away. On the one hand he could tell Sasori everything and hope for the best. Sasori might even be able to really help him if he knew the full story. He might be willing to help, especially after Deidara had invested his trust in him. But on the other hand… there was nothing more humiliating than the truth and Deidara didn’t want to place himself in that position. He’d already been found in a compromising position and Sasori had already seen more than Deidara wished he had–including most of his naked body, bloodied at that–but that could no longer be helped.

“A curse suggests someone placed it on me,” Deidara began. “No one did.” He moved his hands through his hair again, pulling all of it down over his shoulder so he could feel whether he’d straightened it out properly. His eyes didn’t look away from Sasori, however, as he didn’t want to miss any of his responses. Not that he had many. Deidara supposed he was going to have to get used to the absence of expression in most of the members of the Akatsuki.

Hidan’s hand had been in his hair, which was the one thing he kept remembering. Hidan had pulled on it, hard, and the memory was stuck in his mind. He could still feel where it had been, his scalp sore whenever he moved his fingers over it. He subconsciously did the same again, running his fingers through his hair to feel whether it was still as sensitive as he’d noticed it being before. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, but it was the only indication of pain and it could’ve been picked up to mean pretty much anything.

“People like me are born with something inside of us, already decided…” Deidara began. “Not that we find out until we’re older. I was eleven when it happened.” He moved his fingers through his hair again, just to have something to do to take his mind off the memories that had followed that fateful morning, when he’d woken up in a panicked, feverish sweat. “It’s a part of me. It can’t be taken away.”

Sasori listened carefully, appreciating the way Deidara was taking his time to decide what he was and wasn’t going to share with Sasori. In most cases, Sasori wouldn’t have accepted anything less than a full explanation, but this wasn’t anything like a normal situation. This was almost otherworldly and, in a way, he didn’t want the whole story spoiled for him in one go. He wanted to discover it, pick it apart until he knew every single thing about these strange beings.

“It sounds very primal,” Sasori spoke, his eyes on the way Deidara was carefully running his fingers through his hair and over his scalp. Had he been hurt? Was that why Deidara’s eyes narrowed like that? Hidan must have yanked on it.

Didn’t he see the care that had gone into Deidara’s hair? Didn’t he appreciate it and realise how careful he needed to be with it? This boy was gorgeous, why did Hidan want to damage it?

“Does it have anything to do with a clan or bloodline you come from?” Sasori asked. “It must be incredibly rare, or otherwise more people would know about it.” He stepped a little closer and reached his hand out towards Deidara’s neck, wanting to lift up his hair to take a look at the red marks in his neck. “May I?”

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

Deidara was slightly confused to watch Sasori step into the room and shut the door behind him. He’d expected Sasori’s reason for coming here to have more to do with the time they should be waking up in the morning and whatever next mission they’d be sent on. Deidara still wasn’t told much, but Sasori seemed to be communicating constantly with the other members of the group. Until Deidara had proven himself trustworthy, he supposed he was going to be living in the dark for a while, following orders he might not want to follow.

But that wasn’t what Sasori had come for. Instead he asked a question that had Deidara’s heart beat a little faster, and not with fear, but something closer to relief. Was Sasori truly offering Deidara protection? It wasn’t like Deidara wanted to need it, but he did need it. The previous events had proven so, and with Hidan’s threat to keep hunting Deidara down until he owned him, Deidara knew he was going to be in constant danger from this day onward.

He looked up at Sasori, his fingers still halfway down his hair, tangled loosely into some of the strands that he was yet to straighten out. His motions were momentarily forgotten, as his mind was racing to come up with a response that wouldn’t humiliate himself, but would encourage Sasori to want to do this.

“I’d stay away from him, but sooner or later he’s going to find me again,” Deidara said, finally pulling his hand further down, pulling his fingers through the rest of his hair. He was always careful and he always took his time, even now he was shaken and disturbed. There was something about going through these motions that was familiar. “You need to teach me how to fight him.” Wasn’t that the only way? Even if Deidara couldn’t win the fight, he needed a foolproof escape.

“Why? Why do you believe I shouldn’t have to go through that again?” Because Sasori didn’t care about him, did he? He’d made that clear plenty of times before, when he’d gone through the trouble of telling Deidara exactly how annoying he was and how gladly Sasori would get rid of him. Just because Sasori was standing before him now, no longer hiding in that doll of his, didn’t change anything. No matter that he was rather short and incredibly beautiful… he was still the same creep who choose to hide behind an ugly face and a terrible personality. So… why did Sasori care?

There was little reason for Deidara to believe that Sasori cared about him, going by the many times in which Sasori had made it clear he felt little more than annoyance for Deidara, but that had changed the moment that he'd seen Deidara so desperate. It wasn't new to him that he was attracted to vulnerability, especially a vulnerability that came with a pretty face and long, blonde hair. Sasori's strings had been pulled and he'd become interested in a way he generally only was in his dolls, or someone he wanted to make into a doll. Not that this was the same kind of obsession, yet.

Sasori stepped a little further into the room, his eyes lingering on the amount of care Deidara had just expressed when running his fingers through his hair so carefully.

Deidara's question was a hard one to answer, but Sasori supposed he deserved a response, even if he didn't quite understand what it was that had him feeling so protective. "Would you describe what you have as a curse?" Sasori asked, looking Deidara over carefully. He wasn't sure how to answer Deidara's question without knowing a few things first, or else he'd just be speaking with bad judgement, and he didn't like over-complicating things. "Would you rather be free from it?"

Sasori stepped further still into the room and he spotted the comb on Deidara's bedside table. He wanted to watch Deidara brush it. He wanted to brush it himself...

One of the most calming things was looking after his dolls, washing them, brushing their hair, dressing them up... and now he could watch a boy as pretty as a doll do the same.

nightmare

deidara-hmpf:

Deidara had no idea what kind of a story he had expected, but he hadn’t expected this. He supposed that shouldn’t come as too big of a surprise, as he actually knew very little about Sasori. He had a lot of the details figured out, but that didn’t mean he could string them all together to create the bigger picture. He’d need to spend a lot more time with Sasori, which was something Deidara wasn’t all too sure he was willing to do. Not that he could get out, of course. He’d been kidnapped and blackmailed into joining this organisation and the only thing that was going to protect him was the pretence that he did actually want to be here. He better not lose it.

He watched the dolls move, though their faces were too stoic and blank. They almost looked like there was a soul trapped somewhere inside of them that couldn’t come out. It was probably the darkness of the night, Deidara supposed, as he knew there wasn’t really anything alive about these dolls. Still… they looked just as much like objects as they looked like creatures. Deidara didn’t like it. Not one bit.

He remained silent, as he was pretty sure that the only commentary he’d be able to give right now were things Sasori wasn’t going to like the sound of. It was best to sit quietly and see the whole thing through, just so Sasori could leave him alone again and Deidara could think about everything he’d just been shown. If there was a single thing in all of this that he could use against Sasori, then he would.

The girl died a third of the way through by accidentally eating poisonous berries, which the boy was only slightly disturbed by. The man found them and the narrative of the story continued as if the boy was going to learn how happy the girl had made him all this time, as the man continued to teach him lessons about companionship and love. The boy told the man his story and explained how the people of his village feared him and the man could understand why. He explained that the only reason he trusted the boy was because he was a skilled alchemist, who could disappear or knock the boy unconscious within a second.

Eventually, through the man's alchemy, the boy's curse got lifted and the spirit that had possessed him was drawn out of him; the white tiger. It roared in pain and writhed in terror as it was for the first time exposed to the outside world. Once the boy had witnessed that pain and had experienced what it was like without his possession, he had cried. The man had assumed they had been tears of joy, but he was wrong.

The boy had learned about companionship and had been told about what it was like to share experiences with another. The man had taught the boy all about the lessons of friendship and because of that, the boy missed the white tiger. He didn't feel complete without his life long companion.

And so, instead of mourning his friendship, he crawled atop the back of the tiger, who feared the world like no other, and they set off into the world to find a new alchemist to bind them back together.

As promised, Sasori had left out the gory bits; the side story in which the girl first got lost in the forest and was raped by the man who later helped the boy find the true meaning of friendship, and he'd also left out the part where the tiger had torn the man apart for having 'freed' him into the terrifying world of pain.

Sasori stood up from the bed, all four dolls still in his control. He'd walked them to the edge of the bed, ready to go back to where Sasori kept them. "Did you enjoy that?"

( Ꮧ / Ꭷ ) c a u g h t

deidara-hmpf:

It had taken him a good half hour to wash. The pain had been a part of that and so had the severity of his wounds. The blood had been sticking to his skin all over and whenever he thought he had all of it, he’d find more of it, or he’d notice one of his wounds had reopened, running more blood down his legs. It had been an endless process that had been tiring, as well as disturbing. After all, every one of these marks on Deidara’s body had been made by a man who was still out there, thinking of him, thinking of ways to get Deidara back. Unless he was dead, of course, but Deidara didn’t dare to hope for it. Sasori had called him immortal, and Deidara supposed that meant he couldn’t be killed with a few shots of poison, no matter how Deidara might want to believe differently. Not that that thought alone wasn’t enough to stir a sickening nausea in the pit of his stomach at the mere nerve to wish an Alpha dead. It took a lot of willpower to ignore that thought and refrain from shoving his head beneath the surface of the water long enough to start panicking, just because he deserved it.

He had dressed in the sort of clothes he was used to wearing, before he’d been given the coat and told to wear it at all times. He supposed that didn’t count for the times when he didn’t expect to be fighting, and so he was dressed in his dark green robe, while still using a towel to slowly dry off his hair, feeling no more clean than he’d done when he’d been lying in the dirt, beneath Hidan.

His breath caught a moment at the sound of a knock on the door, but then he slowly continued to run the towel down, before following the motion with his fingers, trying to untangle every strand.

What could Sasori possibly want? Deidara supposed there was only one way to find out. “Yes? Come in…”

Sasori hadn't quite expected Deidara to respond so quickly, but he was glad that he did. Sasori had a lot of questions, but more so... there was something else, an irresistible urge that had started the moment he'd watched Deidara run away from Hidan.

Sasori pushed the door open and stepped inside. He was still wearing the coat, as comfort and the softness of certain materials weren't much of an importance to him and keeping himself in the same clothes was simply a convenience. His eyes immediately fell on Deidara, who's long hair was still wet and loose and Sasori immediately recognised what he was wearing: the robe he'd been recruited in. It looked soft and it fell down Deidara's shoulders rather beautifully, despite Deidara's posture being more slumped than usual. He was affected by what Hidan had done to him and Sasori could very much understand why.

Sasori had so many questions he wanted to ask, but he knew he couldn't ask them. Deidara looked vulnerable and the last thing he Sasori needed was to bombard him with questions, regardless of how Sasori had never before let something like that hold him back. He never cared about the comfort of others, but now... This was different. This was precisely where that irresistible urge stopped him from acting how he usually did.

He needed to look after Deidara. He needed to protect him.

"How can we make sure this won't happen again?" Sasori asked, stepping into the room after shutting the door behind him. "Is that possible?" And if so, was that something Deidara wanted? Was this just a curse, or was there more to it than that? And what if Deidara could get away from Hidan, were there others? "You shouldn't have to go through that again." Because that wasn't who and what Deidara was, not the Deidara he knew, anyway, not the one who made conscious decisions about what he did and didn't want.