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Did I Build That Castle?

Kimberly Johnson

These past few weeks have been a little difficult. I’ve been thinking a lot about walls and castles and metaphorically what that looks like in my life (I blame Piers Plowman). I’ve written about this before, but I usually find it difficult to open up to people, and sometimes I’m mistaken for being cold. I find that I have this immediate reaction where I put walls up.

There seems to be this school of thought that basically says that if people don’t want to know you, spend time with you or care about you, then it’s their loss. Move on. Value your own time and don’t bother with the people who don’t see you. That’s not easy. If I’m honest, I’m not sure I’m entirely married to that idea, at least when it comes to me, but I have received and given the same advice. There is truth to it. We do teach others how to treat us. We do “accept the love we think we deserve”. But I worry if I’m doing something a little worse than that in my own life. I wonder if moving on means that I’ve put up a wall.

I said earlier that I find it tough sometimes, opening up to people outside my family and close friends. Over the past couple of months, I’d meet somebody, and they’re wonderful and I hope they always are. I actually wanted to open up to them, but I got the feeling that they didn’t want the same thing back. On the surface I took it really well, but deep down I felt 14 again, surrounded by stuffed animals asking myself… “Why didn’t they want to know me?”

I was given the advice that when people want to be in your life, when they want to know you, they find a way to do that. My friend who gave me this advice also said, “Focus on the people that do love you.” I agree with her, but I wonder if I’ve been fair to this person. I wonder if by moving on, I’ve built a wall where there should be a vacant bridge. I wonder if I’ve acted out of fear of rejection and called it self-respect. I wonder (most of the time) if I know what I’m doing when it comes to relationships.

To be honest, I’m not sure I entirely understand how this works.

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Second Year, Art and Art History and CCIT

“How do you define yourself?”

“Loud and outgoing. That’s me…”

“Art isn’t as easy is anyone says its not like painting and taking pictures. You have to try to be original because in the end you are going to be compared to an old artist and his works that someone saw. That’s not something that you would want.”

Photographer: Shyam Jalal

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(School) Days of Summer: Should You Attend Summer School?

Darren Clift 

Summer can’t come soon enough! As the year drags on, we eagerly anticipate the end of exams and the start of our break more and more. So close, yet there’s still so much left to do! Oh, well; in just over a month, we’ll be kicking back and getting ready to enjoy summer.

Or do you have other plans? Are you considering summer school? Enrollment starts soon: March 25 was the first day to apply for summer courses. The idea is certainly circulating in my mess of a mind. But with a potential summer job, I’m unclear if summer school is a manageable option for me at this point. So let’s figure this out together—should you attend summer school after the semester ends? It’s time to weigh your options, because your wellbeing is on the line! Please remember, these are my thoughts only, so your own personal opinions on the matter are welcomed and appreciated.

When exactly is summer school? The first session for fall courses runs from early May to late June and the second session for spring courses from early July to late August. You can register for courses in both sessions if you want, for a maximum of 2.0 credits per session. If you’re ready to give up your summer, then go for it! Getting ahead and fast tracking your education is an amazing and admirable thing to do with your time off, but only if you can handle it. If you feel like you’re burning out right now, then perhaps taking the summer off is a good choice.

If you have a summer job, or you’re applying for one now, then I’m unclear about what you should do, because I’m in the same predicament. The training for my summer job begins in early June, and it’s about a half hour away from UTM. I definitely want to take one half-credit course, but I’m not sure if I should enroll in more. Consider your working hours and the location of the job—balancing a full-time position and a commute to UTM could be more of a hassle than it’s worth. Again, you know yourself best. There will be days when you burn out, when you have work and studying and very little time for anything else. If you can handle high amounts of stress, then bravely commit to such an onerous task.

It’s a tough decision, to summer school or not to summer school. Personally, I’m going to pursue taking at least one course in the first session, as it’s offered in the evening two days a week. Talk to other students, because they may have experienced summer school in similar circumstances to yourself. Weigh your future goals with your current or upcoming priorities and make a judgment call. You deserve R & R, but only if you make your summer productive in another way. Get involved this summer, go somewhere, or try something new—it’ll be so much better than doing the same old thing for four months. In any case, be proud of yourself, because you’ve almost made it through another school year. Good luck with your exams and final assignments, and bring on the sunshine and humidity. It shall be glorious indeed!

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Second Year, Double major in Linguistics and Italian

"What has been the most exciting thing you've done all week?"

"I went to a cooking class where we learned to make 20 minute stew."

Photographer: Assia Messaoudi

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Second Year, Double major in CCIT and PWC and a minor in Visual Culture Studies

“If you had to choose a song to describe your life, what would it be?”

"For my student life: something from Kanye West's 'College Dropout' album or Radiohead's 'In Rainbows'. For love life: 'Untitled/How Does it Feel' by Jeff D'angelo. For my personal life:  'Grinnin' in Your Face' by Son House."

Photographer: Assia Messaoudi

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Fifth Year, Double Major in Psych and Bio and a minor in Philosophy

"What quote do you live by?"

"Per aspera ad astra. It means ‘Through hardships to the stars’.”

Photographer: Assia Messaoudi

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Second Year, Double Major in CCIT and Criminology 

“How do you cope with stress when it comes to school as a second year student?”

“I listen to The Weeknd.” 

Photographer: Manali Shinde

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Public Speaking

Hamna Awan

The dreaded, borderline inhumane tribal ritual of an individual getting up in front of a large group of people and saying words.

Personally, I’ve always had mixed feelings about public speaking. It all depends on the group of people you’re addressing, I say. If they’re an engaged, enthusiastic audience who want to hear what I have to say, chances are I’m going to be far more comfortable than when trying to address a rowdy crowd of people with zero interest in what I’m saying.

It also depends on you and what you’re talking about. Are you passionate about this? Do you have extensive knowledge on the subject matter at hand?

Now, I hated public speaking in high school. Hated it. (You know I mean business when I break out the italics). Hand raising in class? Doable. Getting up and talking in front of a tired group of people anxiously eyeing the clock in hopes that the time will drain away and it will be time for them to leave—lol no. I just mean—the amount of anxiety that would flow through my adolescent body was insane! I would mark my calendar for my presentation date, and treat every day as though it was a precious gift all leading up to the final day of doom—when I would stand in front of the class, clutching my notes in my hand (trying not to pass out), and educate my classmates on topics they cared little about.

Despite this, I can—on some level—appreciate what teachers were trying to achieve by asking you to get up in front of the class and present. It is an important skill, and one that is required in many career fields. They just want us to get used to the idea, reduce some of the tension behind it, and help improve our speaking abilities—such noble reasons for such a cruel, heartless act.

I am happy to report that this is no longer the case with me. In fact, I’ve even decided to go to pursue teacher’s college after my undergrad at UTM. Participating in several extra curricular activities and taking courses a percentage of my mark is dependent upon my class participation has definitely opened up doors for me—over time, I just got more comfortable talking in front of people. (I do, however, feel somewhat guilty knowing I’ll have to subject my future students to the same tortures [cough] I was subjected to in my own school career. Just not enough, I guess.) 

All in all, public speaking is a skill, and one that does not come easily (I have clearly learned the hard way). As someone who persevered through this, I feel confident in offering some advice to those who are going through the same struggle.

Deep breaths. Inhale, exhale, and repeat. Several times. Three times to be precise. It clears and declutters your mind. If you feel really awkward, just remind yourself—you’re never as awkward as you think you are (words to live by). If you mess up—you’re only human. No one in the world has gone through every public speaking event in their lives flawlessly. Educate yourself on the topic; you’ll have a far easier time talking about things you have extensive knowledge on, versus something you’ve barely looked at. Read, read, and reread until you know it like the back of your hand—it also decreases the possibility that you’ll forget something.

Good luck, friends. May the force be with you.

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Television: Relaxation in an Electronic Box

Christine Sharma

Game of Thrones, The Vampire Diaries, Awkward, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Dexter, Suits, Orange is the New Black—oh my, there are an abundance of TV shows detracting from your attention to schoolwork.

With exams around the corner and your favourite shows either ending or beginning (Game of Thrones, April 12!), TV is a huge distraction. Some say it turns your brain to mush; some say TV is a tool for procrastination.

Well, I say that TV is a great way to relax.

Although keeping up with our favourite TV shows (Game of Thrones, I love you) is difficult during the year amidst assignments, midterms, tests, and readings, I feel relieved when I get a moment away from my textbooks to watch a show. No reading, no writing, no stressing. Another world, characters you feel like you know, and a plot-line that keeps you wanting more—TV is the perfect escape from our book-bound lives.

I think that every student needs at least one TV show they love to watch to keep up with throughout the school year (ahem, Game of Thrones in the summer semester this year). If you don’t have a show to watch, ask your friends or Google for a suggestion. You could use the escape.

Once you’ve found your magical TV show (or five, or Game of Thrones), start watching! I guarantee you will feel less stressed about your life afterwards. Fair warning: although TV is great for relaxation, an overdose or a binge-watch could be catastrophic for your looming deadlines.

When it comes to shows, the watcher absolutely must be cautious about how much time they allot to watching episodes. Time management is essential here. Like any other relaxation method (the gym, meditation, food...), too much TV might put you in a time crunch for finishing that essay or studying for that midterm.

Try using TV as a reward. For every two hours you study or write, you get to watch an episode. Or for every 50 minutes you study, you get to watch 10 minutes of an episode. Finishing an assignment and a series simultaneously has never been so easy. Personally, I follow two shows maximum at a time so I can put school first.

So grab a blanket, a healthy snack, and some tea. De-stress and watch something!

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 Second Year, Major in Criminology, Minor in Psychology and Sociology

“What’s the strangest thing you’ve done?”

“When I was 9 I was at my grandma's house for the summer and there were these guys who used to hang out in my grandma's backyard but they always made fun of me and were really rude. One time there was a wasp that landed in my hair and the boys ran away and laughed at me so I borrowed a jar from my grandma, knowing they would return later. I used the jar to collect wasps and when they returned to gather in the backyard, I retrieved the jar, shook it violently, and then threw it at the group of boys. So, I created a wasp-bomb when I was 9 ... I think that's kind of strange."

Photographer: Ustat Rai

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Third Year, Double major in Chemistry and Environmental Science and a minor in Anthropology

“Nothing is impossible, even the word itself says I'm-possible.”

Photographer: Saif Ahmad

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Third Year Political Science and History

“Who has had the greatest influence for you in your life?

“I would say my mother. My mother is one person who has always been there for me and she is the one person who will always have my back no matter what regardless of my mistakes.”

Photographer: Shyam Jalal

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Second Year, Major in Environmental Management, Minor in English and Biology

“I think my childhood has a lot to do with why I’m fascinated with nature so much and why I study what I study. I had tons of animal books and watched Zoboomafoo religiously. Rest in peace little buddy. I don’t want to be just another person aware of but still ignoring ocean acidification or climate change. Those things are really important, and no one seems to care much. It’s frustrating but I want to do something. I want to save the world and all the things I’ve grown to love. Like cuttlefish, they’re rad.”

Photographer: Ustat Rai

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Second Year, Specialist in Finance and Major in Economics

“When you are eighty, what is the thing you would most like to be able to say you achieved?”

“I want to be able to say that the world is a tiny bit better because of me. If I have the chance of making any kind of impact on the world, I’ll definitely take it. And if everyone thought this way, the world would be a better place.”

Photographer: Farah Saad

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First Year, Psychology 

“I have a job interview today and I am sort of nervous but I am also confident because I have what it takes to get the job.”

Photographer: Moiza Shabir

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Where should I study?!—Your Inexhaustible List of Study Spaces at UTM

Christine Sharma

Have you ever wished for a giant list of study spaces that you can close your eyes, point at, and choose from?

Have you ever wondered where to study in the library, or where you can pop open a book anywhere on campus and cram in some study time? Have you run out of ideas for where to study, or need more options for study space?

If you answered yes to any of the above, I present to you a list of study spaces I’ve discovered during my time at UTM!

Keep in mind contextual factors before choosing a study spot, such as if you are studying alone or with friends, if you need to work on a group project, how much noise you can tolerate, what time of day it is, how long you’re going to be there (ie. Do you need a place where you’ll be setting up camp for a few hours?), how soon you need to get your studying done, and if you need an outlet for your phone or laptop charger, to name a few.

1. The library aka. HMALC (does anyone call it that?)—conventional spots    a. Silent study on any floor    b. The fireplace by silent study on the third floor    c. The long table with stools on the third floor    d. The living room-esque area of couches on the fourth floor    e. The couches by the long window in the basement    f. The couches with round tables in between them on the third floor    g. STUDY ROOMS!    h. The computer labs on the first floor

2. The library aka. HMALC—unconventional spots    a. In between bookshelves    b. On the carpet… anywhere

3. The Meeting Place

4. TFC

5. The rotunda in Kaneff (IMI?) by the Registrar’s Office

6. Sitting in front of lockers in Davis

7. Any empty classroom you can find    - Check the schedules posted beside classroom/lecture hall doors to see if          there’s a class inside. If not, and the door is unlocked, go forth and study! 8. The green couches in IB

9. The chairs in cozy corners of IB, upstairs    a. In front of the vending machines on second floor    b. By the long row of windows on the second floor    c. At the ends of hallways on the second or third floors

10. The random area with white tables on the third floor of IB

11. In your friend’s lecture    - Ask your friend if the prof will notice or care, or if it’s a large or a small                lecture, first.

12. Deerfield’s silent study cubicles on any floor

13. The Mac lab on the second floor of IB—also has study rooms

14. On the RAWC staircase, the larger stairs to the right of the railing

15. The tables inside of Starbucks—grab a coffee and hit the books

16. The wooden benches outside of lecture halls in IB

17. The tables by the Circuit Break Café/by CC 1080 in CCT

18. The computer lab in the same area in CCT, by CC 1080 and parking staircases

In order to make this list “inexhaustible”, we need each other’s help. Comment below and add your favourite spaces to study, or anywhere that I’ve missed! Study on, friends.

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Second Year, Economics

“Who has had the greatest influence in your life?”

“My parents, of course! They were always there to support me. They were there to give me the right reasons to make the right choices...I always listen to them even though they might be wrong sometimes but in the end, everything that they decided for me is the best. And I really want to make them happy and proud of me. All this effort, money, time and distance--I want all of it to be worth it.”

Photographer: Shyam Jalal