[panthepotman]

I'm obsessed with the Elizabethan ruff

[azaablue]

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be a part of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

[arielseaworth]

“Perhaps you have forgotten. That’s one of the great problems of our modern world, you know. Forgetting. The victim never forgets. Ask an Irishman what the English did to him in 1920 and he’ll tell you the day of the month and the time and the name of every man they killed. Ask an Iranian what the English did to him in 1953 and he’ll tell you. His child will tell you. His grandchild will tell you. And when he has one, his great-grandchild will tell you too. But ask an Englishman—” He flung up his hands in mock ignorance. “If he ever knew, he has forgotten. ‘Move on!’ you tell us. ‘Move on! Forget what we’ve done to you. Tomorrow’s another day!’ But it isn’t, Mr. Brue.” He still had Brue’s hand. “Tomorrow was created yesterday, you see. That is the point I was making to you. And by the day before yesterday, too. To ignore history is to ignore the wolf at the door.”

- A Most Wanted Man, John le Carré

[thecollectibles]

Art by Brian Yuen

[cheaphalloweencostume]

horrible fucking partner just said apropos of nothing “and i’ll SUCK, and i’ll FUCK, and i’ll BLOW YOUR BACK OUT” like the big bad wolf.

[lezbianz]

this is for a part-time job as a barista

[inactiveaccount082024]

on an application to work the front desk of a hotel

[chasetriesagain]

If minimum wage you'd like to make, This ancient quiz you'll have to take.

Step right up, but be prepared. Those who fail are poverty-snared. Question One! If your labor proves most fruitful, Raking quarters by the bootful, Who should excess profits reap, Me the wolf or you the sheep? Question Two! If, by merit, you're made pope, What will be your fervent hope? Law and order justly paired? Or mercy and the guilty spared?

Question Three! If a train should leave Topeka Driven by a solar squeaker, How then should the cat behave? Give it milk or give it grave? Question Four! Do you have a criminal record?

[unclefather]

[psych-is-the-name]

[shinekocreator]

Okay, this is actually funny

[autophage]

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still

[bibaleen]

[jessaerys]

what in the world are "pity likes" you guys are inventing new ways to be insecure. every like i give is a like with my whole pussy

[weirdvector]

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[dogpuppy]

He is my princess diana

[samreich]

four equally well-fitted suits

[thegaymertrainer]

Ribbon dancing I was not aware of your evolution 🤯

[proximally]

sorry im still not over this even though it was like 4 hours ago. was having an issue accessing company spreadsheets on sharepoint via browser so had to get the IT guy's help and apparently the reason was because i was using duckduckgo. which the IT guy then told me was a search engine "primarily associated with the dark web" and that i should use google and google chrome. like are you kidding me

[proximally]

sister has suggested "primarily associated with the dark web" booty shorts

[victusinveritas]

[artbyblastweave]

Easily the most annoying kind of vampire in the world are the ones where you finally corner the fuckers and when you're going in with the stake they start spouting off sociology 101 bullshit to try and weasel out of it. "Oh, no ethical consumption under capitalism," "oh, the rich are the real vampires if you think about it-" yeah, yeah, you ate like fifty homeless people, asshole. Hold still

[dialectrician]

Okay but if you aren't a vegetarian your case against vampires is actually pretty weak.

[artbyblastweave]

I SAID HOLD STILL