My Telepathic Love Notes

Dear U.

[themindofmaze]

i get it, i do.

For all the right you have to be I still have trouble not wanting you to be right for me//

For all the wrong I am for you I still hold my breath hoping it’s not true//

Let’s just say I get it. //It’s everything to do with me and not you//

I keep telling my self that those photographs hold the truth to all the things left unsaid but are doing backflips in my head// how it hurt my feelings or how I’ve been running from my truth. I don’t want to miss you// I don’t do that, well maybe I guess I do//

I just wanted you to know I found my car keys, my ID and everything I need but lose daily/// I swear this part of me drove you crazy but the problem is I like those parts of me// I’ve been trying to understand that I guess now I have to hold my own hand// That’s fine, I’m fine, I’ll find a way to use this in the name of art// I have my heart but seem to have just lost apart of my head & a part of me misses your bed// Since what I want doesn’t matter ill return to the latter and pretend that losing you doesn’t matter//

[themindofmaze]

I’m writing you again today. I miss you consistently but I want you to know I’m almost done finding E. I hope that means that when we’re done you’ll return to me. It’s what I truly believe, with everything in Me. Everything I Am, I thought was tied to You but recently I found the concept of you is more then a lover and best friend it’s the two of you holding my hand as we serve as Gods right hand.

Despite being able to find a new way to express and hold my adoration for all we’ve become. You say it all the time but what’s time when it’s His will not mine. Just remember I’m always yours and what’s yours is mine.

Love me forever, Let’s not forget after in life and death. Just remember love conquers all and by the grace we breath and if you forget, just remember Me. Our Fathers are proud of who we’ve become. They says it’s Thy will, Let His work be done. So we listen and obey with all we are and I ask for help to remove the remaining doubt. I just remember that with out doubt how can I see. My faith is restored daily... so I guess will you thank doubt for me? It’s hard to understand if you’re not With The I Am but it’s because it’s more then the concept it’s believing in & having faith; that this is good. And as we get better we understand better and start to actually see that it’s always been about finding the lost through you and me. That’s why Our Fathers having been finding E with the Afters in death. 

[themindofmaze]

Don’t mind me

I’m the lunatic I’ve swore I’d never be, //I’m the Illness that I can’t pull out and the darkness no one writes home about //Some call it mental//Other day it’s chemical //I’ll say it’s half and half mixed with a wide range of delusional //I’m bit embarrassed slightly tired of this constant fight that is looking like my swinging high for my dimmisishing life. If I’m so lovable where why are all my notes home being returned to sender //it’s getting harder to breathe in all this water //-The one perched on my shoulder won’t stop telling me to fight harder //Scream softer//Everyone hears me but stop answering cause it’s just gotten a messy. //But I’m telling you it’s just getting me to the point where I don’t hear anything but how sick my head is and how I used to be, who I used to be, and why I’m not allowed to be that version of the happier sounder E.My brain won’t let me. I’m trying and tired of failing.//it’s not them.I Found out that’s the chemical make up inside me //And god made me this way and I just can’t understand why he’d make me wrong then tell me to just be strong//It’s not more then I can bare but I’m telling you I feel like I’m strapped to an mental electric chair.// if that’s the case then show me my file cause I don’t have the luxury anymore for denial. Hard facts and denial don’t tell me it’ll be okay if you haven’t seen a case of manic bipolar losing hope but wanting a home. //I’m a out of sanity to spare but if your wondering what it feels like, my heart says it’s a lot like living with despair.

[asilewxyz]

“I still catch myself. Underneath it all. I’m still hoping that you will come back”

— Ranata Suzuki  (via ranata-suzuki)

[themindofmaze]

C

I was thinking today what it will be like to be by your side every day

How it will be like it used to be

How we’ll laugh and fall asleep together

Watch our favorite movie and talk about nothing the way we used too

I just want you to know that im grateful that you’re back

It’s been three years and I’ve been missing you since the day I left your arms. I thought I’d never be back

I’m unsure of what’s next but I know you’re where I’ll be

I told you I love you and I think you knew that I’ve been waiting a long time to sing you the perfect slew

That depicts how much you mean to me and how your in my head but I’d do anything to be back in your bed.

Please don’t leave my head anytime soon.

It’s Ment more then you know to have you this close

I hope I see you soon

Xo, e

[themindofmaze]

Sid

Nov. 13

I have doubt sometimes not because of you but because I sometimes believe it’s too good to be true

That you and I could ever be a perfect pair

That someday soon you’ll be running your hands through my hair

Laying next to me and telling all about how you believed for us when it was too much for me

Writing down for me that even though I can’t see it, you care. You love me

You don’t have to miss me forever because we know that soon we’ll to actually together.

You tell me I’m worth the wait that this, this is good that we are we’re we need to be

I’m yours, I always have been so if you forget just remember all the love letters I wrote you just to tell you how much I love you

It’s always been you

[themindofmaze]

C u soon

I was thinking today about back then/

About what really happened and why

Laying on the motel room floor hold my chest

Hoping that god would take what would be my last breath.

I was brittle and broken, beaten unaware of what I had just escaped//

In hine I think it was cause God had mine

I never understood why you never answered my calls

Why you cared but stayed away

Why I went through it all, and was oblivious to the bigger picture. But I kept the film so maybe one day I’ll conjure enough of something to look into it.

Back then you thought I went through the worst of it, I moved away and you found solace in me starting over, not away from you but away from the what I would come to know if I stayed. What they did and why, bought, sold, traded.

The reality what you kept me safe from that summer

I know you did your best.....

I know it broke your heart to hear the rest but I didn’t know..... I didn’t know that it wasn’t me that was the bad guy.

That I was wronged not the wrong.

Maybe it was my head that kept me safe, Iz did a lot for me too but It’s safe to say that my spirits been broken over and over again. I can’t tell you why it’s YOU and HIM who bring me back to life

But I can’t call this living cause I’m still, as always, waiting.

For you. For him.

For reality to switch up and be something less if a nightmare and something I can bare

I miss......

Never mind.

I think it’s just a way I cope but only cause sometime I forget, I give up and I decided to not hope.

I had some last night though. Today again

I imagine ..... I just hope that it’s someday already.

That home comes back to me and we don’t have to talk but we can be.

That we can just be us.

Tell Him I’ll be okay.... I’ll stop sending letters but only because I have to find a way to move on if you aren’t real.

I love you. I always will.