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We are in the midst of an American crisis: The Baseball nickname is dying out. Fortunately, the rest of the world is helping out and we would do well to take inspiration.

Here for your consideration are the ten best Mandarin baseball nicknames. My personal favorite, as you can see above, is Munenori Kawasaki being called Pistachio. It’s adorable.

I also put together a list of 11 new statistical pitcher happenings that we need to have take off other than “The Maddux” and “The Pedro.” Seriously, let’s get “The Mesa” off the ground.

Some other stuff:

We have a new U.S. poet laureate: Juan Felipe Herrera. Turns out, he’s been writing about baseball the whole time. (Which should be a requirement of the poet laureate.)

Last night, Torii Hunter was ejected from the game, leading to him throwing his uniform across the field. The bat boy was then sent to retrieve the clothing. This is his guest segment on Law and Order: SVU.

I spent some time at the Dodgers celebrity softball game this past weekend. Beyond seeing Mark McGwire fly out to Landon Donovan (Why are celebrity softball games not the most popular thing on the planet?), I got to talk to Mark Hoppus, Clark Gregg and Rob Riggle among others about their softball skills.

And things I had no hand in from around the world wide baseball web:

Mike Bates took a look at the history of Corey Kluber. Turns out, his trade tree can be traced all the way back to 1977. That’s some Emersonian transcendentalism or something.

Two months into the season and it looks like the strike zone may still be expanding. I guess it’s kind of like the universe in that regard.

Eno Sarris has a great interview with Joey Gallo on his penchant on strikeouts and how he’s pitched differently thanks to his power. As always, it’s some great insight into a batter’s mindset.

mets

Like this if you are ready for #SpringTraining! #Mets

mightyflynn

"Michelle and I send our condolences to the family of Ernie Banks, and to every Chicagoan and baseball fan who loved him.

"Ernie came up through the Negro Leagues, making $7 a day. He became the first African-American to play for the Chicago Cubs, and the first number the team retired. Along the...

mightyflynn

Kubek, Jackson, and Lynn, 1975

Fenway Park

Boston, Massachusetts

Photo via EAC Gallery h/t Bailey Walsh

oldtimefamilybaseball

I can’t take anymore of this blasted offseason. It’s too long. And I’m forced to do things like occasionally talk about the NFL or what I did with my day. To get over my winter blues, I put together the 10 longest home runs in GIF form for you. Watch and repeat until Spring Training.

If that’s not enough for you, perhaps listening to Terry “Tub of Goo” Forster’s 1980s ‘hit’ single “Fat is In” will help you pass the time?

If that’s still not enough, I wrote a birthday oath to my personal fashion icon: Chris Sabo.

And then if you’re looking for soccer stuff, Greg and I put together the best Starting XI soccer names in the EPL, looked at Serie A’s big problems, and wondered why the MLS was a mafia. Click here to listen to the latest episode and follow along.

Finally, a few things I didn’t write:

Can Rob Neyer outrun David Ortiz? Finally, the answer.

These GIFs of Marcus Stroman’s sinker are A+.

themlbguy

Can't wait either!

by Richard Rowell , Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff

this-day-in-baseball

January 2, 1977 Ted Turner is suspended for one year by Commissioner Bowie Kuan for tampering charges in the free-agency signing of Gary Matthews. The Braves’ owner, an accomplished sailor, uses his free time to pursue another goal, winning this year’s America’s Cup, which he accomplishes in September.