There is Solace to be Found (3/?)
Sail Among Liars
Fandom: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
Pairing: Zelda Spellman/Lilith
Zelda gets a tour of the ship — and another interaction with Lilith.
~
Lmao don’t know if anyone is still invested (or still in this fandom?) BUT here’s an update! Read on AO3 at the link above or below.
Zelda woke all at once, pulled out of a dream she couldn’t remember, but it left her with an anxious feeling in her chest that was only worsened by her unfamiliar surroundings. She made to sit up, and then felt the hilt of the knife still in the palm of her hand under the pillow and the memories of the previous day came rushing back.
That made her bolt up as she looked for Lilith, and to her relief she found herself to be alone in the room. Then she withdrew the knife from under the pillow then and tucked it back into her sleeve, taking the time to look around more carefully. True to her word, the captain had given her the bed to herself, leaving the other side completely untouched, though as far as Zelda could tell everything else in the room was also unchanged, making her wonder just what the captain had done all night.
Not that she should complain about being left alone. Lilith seemed true to her word that she wasn’t going to harm her, or at least not in cold blood. But Zelda couldn’t figure the woman out, and that bothered her, like an itch in her mind she couldn’t quite shake. She had a knack for knowing people, knowing their motives and their behaviors better than themselves within minutes of meeting, but Lilith was the exception, always stepping left when she expected her to go right. While that was infuriatingly confusing, her expectations of outright cruelty being contradicted did make her chest relax a little.
Like she’d been summoned by Zelda’s thoughts, Lilith suddenly strode in, looking cheerful. Her hair was even more unruly than it had been the day before, no longer tamed by the captain’s hat, and she carried a plate and large mug. “Good morning, precious.”
Zelda sneered, her brief comfort with the woman overtaken by anger. “Must you call me that?”
“I didn’t manage to catch your name in the excitement of it all, precious,” Lilith stated quite frankly, and Zelda’s anger spiked again. “And it seems rude not to address you by anything.”
“There are plenty of other polite titles to refer to me by other than my monetary value to you.”
“Then what would you like me to call you, precious?” she said with a faux innocent look, a slight, sharp smile on her lips.
Zelda knew the nickname was meant to aggravate her, but that fact didn’t temper her frustration. “My name is Zelda Spellman,” she bit out, and the captain’s teasing gleam left for a more interested look.
“Zelda Spellman,” she repeated, rolling the name on her tongue like a fine wine. “Suits you.”
She wanted to ask what Lilith meant by that, but before she could Lilith set the plate and mug down, then sat in the chair across from it. “I saved you breakfast.”
Indeed she had – Zelda could see the plate loaded with cheese and bread and, miraculously, what looked like eggs. She stood slowly and made her way to the table, taking a careful seat. She studied the captain for a moment, who looked back at her mildly, before picking up her fork and taking a small bite of the eggs.
“Do you keep chickens on board?” she asked, remembering her brother mentioning that live animals would sometimes be brought on larger ships for long journeys.
“Yes,” Lilith said, and sighed. “It seems such a shame to leave the creatures to starve on the ships we raid, so we take them. They provide eggs for a while, and when they stop, they provide a nice dinner.”
Such a genuine answer from the captain surprised Zelda, even when tempered with practicality, and she ate the rest of her meal in silence, attempting again to figure the woman out while ignoring Lilith’s heavy gaze.
The food was good, and the mug of ale even better, and she pushed the empty dishes away when she’d finished. Lilith stared at her a moment longer before she stood, looking at her expectantly. “Come, let me show you around the ship.”
Zelda blinked, shocked by the captain, and it took her a moment by her words. “You won’t lock me in this room?”
“Did you think I would?” Lilith asked flatly, and her lack of emotion had Zelda’s anger spiking again.
“How am I supposed to know when you declined to tell me anything yesterday?”
“You never asked.” She turned up one corner of her mouth then. “Besides, as fun as it is to bring you your meals and watch you eat, I have other things to do with my time.”
As if it was such a burden, Zelda thought, but held her tongue. Not being locked up somewhere meant she’d have chances to explore the ship. She wasn’t sure how that would help her, but more information could never hurt, and perhaps what she found would help her form a plan on what to do the closer they sailed to England.
She stood, wordlessly, and the captain turned and opened the door, gesturing for her to go first. Zelda did, stepping out and onto the deck, blinking rapidly against the glare of the sun. As her eyes adjusted, she saw she was standing on a tall deck near the back of the ship, tucked away a bit, but from her vantage she could see nearly everything. Blood red sails billowed on three masts before her, and there were stairs on either side of the deck leading up and down, where the sounds of the crew working could be heard.
Lilith guided her down a set of stairs, showing her the galley and introducing her to the cook and other crewmen working in the kitchens. She was very formal, to Zelda’s surprise, referring to her by her proper name instead of some demeaning pet name.
They left the galley, Lilith guiding her down a second set of stairs, which brough them to the largest deck of the ship.
“This is the main deck,” Lilith told her, leaning against a barrel sitting next to the staircase. “It’s the center of the ship – you can get near anywhere from here, and the crew tends to congregate here.”
Indeed, there were more men here than Zelda had seen thus far, doing tasks or heading to another part of the ship or just milling about.
“Over there are the crew quarters,” Lilith pointed straight across to a door, “though I doubt you’ll want to spend much time there. Up the stairs you’ll find the deck with the first mate and quartermaster cabins.”
Zelda nodded, taking it all in. Just then boots sounded on the stairs behind them, and Zelda turned and moved out of the way as three men came down, holding a large coil of rope, cheerfully calling “captain” as they came down.
The men stared at Zelda, though she didn’t feel any malice coming from them. They just looked curious, their stares not uncomfortable, and Zelda made an effort to memorize their faces – they could be helpful. At the very least, not her enemy.
After they had passed, Lilith pushed off her barrel and stepped forward, guiding Zelda to a trapdoor. She flung it open and quickly descended the short ladder down before turning and looking back up at Zelda, holding a hand out. She clambered down, ignoring the hand, and turned to look into the bowels of the ship, blinking to see in the dim light.
There were rows of cannons on either side of the ship, with crates and casks and other armament scattered about. A few men wandered through the rows, doing something to the cannons, but many of them stopped when they caught sight of her and Lilith. There were quiet murmurs of “captain” and a few nods, but there were many more lingering eyes.
The hair on the back of Zelda’s neck stood up. The stares of these men were nothing like the men above – these felt predatory, dangerous, and it was suddenly very obvious to her that she was a woman in man’s clothing.
Zelda nearly jumped at Lilith’s light touch on her lower back, but she eagerly followed when she gently pressed her forward, escorting her towards the back of the room. She stood as tall as she could, but as they entered the tight walkway between the cannons, she had to fight the urge to shrink and bow her head. Though the men pressed up against cannons to give them room to pass, some didn’t give them nearly as much space as they could have, and Zelda felt a bit like she was walking into a snare.
The door shut firmly behind them as they entered the next section of the ship, which was empty, much to Zelda’s relief, and Lilith’s hand dropped from her back.
“That was the weaponry deck, as I’m sure you guessed. Below is our main cargo hold, where we keep goods, water casks, and livestock—”
“Stolen goods?”
Lilith gave her a look, though didn’t seem offended by her accusation. “I prefer relinquished, but yes. This is our second cargo hold,” she continued on, ignoring Zelda’s comment. “We keep our main stores of food here, and some other essentials. If you’re ever in need of something, you’ll most likely find it here.”
Lilith pressed her forward before Zelda could say anything, guiding them back towards the door they came from. As they entered the weaponry again, the men eyed her as they had minutes before, and the oily feeling in her stomach returned.
Zelda never thought the captain’s touch could be reassuring, as wary as she was of her. But Lilith’s hand was on her back again, and in the face of the men, that touch was calming, comforting even, in the moment, and Zelda had to stop herself from pressing closer to Lilith.
Back in the sun on the main deck, Zelda sighed and shivered despite the heat, feeling the lingering stares of the men still on her skin. She wanted to bask in the warmth a moment, let it erase the dark from the bowels of the ship, but Lilith pressed her towards the stairs next to the crew quarters.
They went up two sets to the top deck, bringing them to one of the highest points of the ship, the sea stretching out before them. Zelda couldn’t help but gasp a little at the sight – it was like she could see the whole world, the shimmering water unending and hypnotic. She drifted towards the railing almost unconsciously, feeling as though she could touch the horizon, if she just took one more step.
“This is the forecastle deck,” Lilith spoke quietly behind her, and Zelda blinked, forgetting she was there. “The best views are up here,” she continued, leaning her forearms against the railing next to Zelda. “I come up here often, just to take it all in. The dawn, especially. You feel like you’re Apollo himself, bringing the sun for the start of the new day.”
Zelda looked down Lilith, brow quirked. “You know Greek mythology?”
Lilith gave an amused little hum, still staring out at the sea. “You sound surprised I have a basic knowledge of the world.”
There was a long pause, only the sound of the wind and the snapping of the sails reaching them, and all of Zelda’s uncertainty, her fear, her anger, her trepidation, felt muted up here. Like it was blown away on the wind, and she was just on an adventure, far from her past life and all its troubles.
“The view on the tallest deck on the Azul wasn’t anywhere near this,” Zelda said, unsure why she was telling the captain. “I don’t know what’s different, on your ship. But it’s…”
“A bit of magic to it, yes?”
Boots sounded on the stairs behind them, and Zelda turned to see a tall, dark man walking up. She’d seen him when she’d first been captured, he’d been the one the captain had told to ready the lifeboats, and a bit of anxiety settled in Zelda’s stomach again.
“Captain,” the man spoke, and Lilith straightened, gesturing towards him.
“Zelda, this is my first mate, Ambrose. Ambrose, this is Ms. Spellman.”
The man – Ambrose – gave a polite nod of his head. “Ma’am.”
Zelda gave a small nod in return, surprised by the properness of his manners. Lilith stepped forward then and murmured something to him that Zelda didn’t catch. He nodded, then gave a small bow to Zelda before turning back down the steps. Lilith leaned back against the railing again, pointing to the other end of the ship.
“The tallest deck there is the observation deck, and below it with the ship’s wheel is the sterncastle deck. The view there isn’t half bad either, but there’s nothing quite like the bow of the ship.” She waved her hand then in a dismissive way. “I could go on and on about all the parts of my ship, but I’ll spare you. Should you be curious, however,” she said, and gave an affectionate pat to the railing, “there’s not a thing about her I couldn’t tell you.”
Zelda nodded but didn’t question, hoping that would placate the captain enough to keep her from rambling.
Lilith pushed off the railing then and took a few, slow steps forward. Zelda followed, not thinking much of it, and peered down at the main deck below. Men were congregating there; it looked as though the whole crew could be there on the deck, and Zelda looked around, wondering what was going on.
“Apologies in advance.”
Zelda’s stomach dropped. “What—”
Lilith grabbed her waist, tugging until Zelda’s back was pressed against her front. Zelda struggled and clawed at the captain’s arm, making her hiss when she caught flesh, but then Lilith wrapped her other arm around, pinning Zelda’s to her sides. She took a step forward, pressing Zelda tight between her and the railing. She was caught, trapped by the woman who was her enemy, as kind as she has been, and panic swelled her throat and her chest.
“Gather ‘round, boys!”
Lilith’s voice was loud in Zelda’s ear, her grip tight, and the railing was hard and unforgiving where it dug into her hips when she squirmed. The men turned and looked, and Zelda felt the blood rush to her cheeks.
“See this pretty young thing?”
The crowed murmured, some sounding confused, others excited, and the few whoops and whistles made Zelda want to scream.
“I’m sure you want her, hm?”
Lilith nearly purred, and the louder cheers and whistles made Zelda’s blood turn to ice.
“Then listen up, because I’m only going to say this once: she’s mine.”
The world came to a stuttering halt. Hers?
It crashed back into motion when the captain slid a hand up to her breast, squeezing it lightly. Zelda thrashed, though Lilith’s grip was too tight, and she tried to stomp on her feet regardless of the railing pinning her legs. Lilith tightened her hold, and she angled her head towards Zelda, her lips brushing her ear when she murmured, “Quiet, precious.”
Her voice was mild and even, saccharine almost, but Zelda fell still as though she’d growled. She’d been right about the woman, Lilith was a pirate through and through, concerned about nothing more than her next bit of gold and pleasure, and Zelda was her plaything, unable to stop her from doing whatever she wanted.
Lilith’s voice was loud again in her ear as she continued to address the crew. “If any of you animals touch her, paw at her, or even look at her wrong, you’ll be killed by my bare hands, and so slowly that by the end you’ll be begging me for the sweet relief of my sword in your heart.”
The murmurings of the crowd below suddenly died, and the ship became an eerie, uncomfortable quiet, Lilith’s chest pressing into her back with every breath as she allowed the silence to settle.
“You will treat her with the same respect you treat me. I hear otherwise, and you’ll be tied to a cannonball and thrown overboard before you can finish your Hail Mary.”
The tense quiet settled again, though the rushing heartbeat in Zelda’s ears nearly overpowered it. She stared down at the crew, all shuffling feet and adverted eyes, and Lilith’s voice loud in her ear again startled her.
“Don’t you have something better to do?”
The men rushed off, returning to their chores with their heads down, looking at anything but where she and the captain stood. Only Ambrose remained in his spot in the crowd, staring at them with a curious look on his face, before turning and making his way towards the stern.
Lilith had let go of her by now and stepped back, though Zelda barely noticed, her mind still trying to sluggishly catch up with events. Hers. She was the captain’s pet, claimed in front of all, and nothing more to do about it than to hope she stayed in a good mood for the remainder of their journey. Otherwise…
“Why don’t I take you back to my quarters? From there you can do what you’d like.” Lilith murmured behind her, and Zelda slowly turned to look at her.
She looked the same as ever, her hair and tunic ruffling the slight breeze as she stared at her as though nothing had happened.
As though she hadn’t just branded her as her whore.
Rage bubbled up in Zelda stomach, quickly melting the icy fear left in her veins, but she nodded curtly anyways. At least in her room she would be alone, away from the men, away from the captain, and she could curse, she could plot, she could avoid them all until they landed onshore in five weeks, or until the captain decided it was time to perform her duties.
Zelda shoved off the railing and made for the stairs, not bothering to wait for the captain, though she quickly caught up and walked a step behind her. They went across the main deck, and the men there jumped out of her way, bowing their heads and murmuring polite remarks as she passed; as nice as the courtesy was, that rage in her stomach was all consuming.
Lilith, with all her promises and assurances, was nothing more than a snake, but worst of all, Zelda had fallen for her lies. She’d started to believe the captain when she said she wouldn’t hurt her, like a fool, and had even began to consider the woman would respect her. She’d let her guard down, and now she was hers.
Zelda threw open the door to the captain’s quarters and strode in, Lilith following and closing the door behind her. The latch had barely clicked shut and Lilith turned when Zelda reached out on impulse and slapped the woman.
The sound was loud and Zelda’s hand burned, but she didn’t care. Lilith stumbled back a bit, surprised, and put a hand on her cheek. “Alright, I suppose I deserved that—”
Rage boiling over, Zelda didn’t hear. She slapped Lilith again, just as hard, but then Lilith was grabbing her wrists, spinning her around until she was pressed against the door and her wrists pinned above her head.
“I’ll take the one for groping you, but I won’t be struck again for saving your life.”
“Saving me?” Zelda scoffed, and tried to wiggle in Lilith’s grip. “I’m the captain’s whore now thanks to you.”
Lilith tightened her grip, eyes burning, and pressed impossibly closer to Zelda. “You may be, but now you’re amongst pirates who won’t lay a finger on you. I claimed you out there, and do you know what pirates do to the captain’s whore?” She spit out the word and leaned closer until their lips were mere inches away. “Absolutely nothing.”
Zelda seethed and bucked in Lilith’s grasp, tugging at her wrists until the captain let go and took two steps back. She glared at Lilith, absolutely hating that she could see her logic – there had been no stares, no leers, no prickle at the back of her neck when she’d walked past the men. It was clear that the men obeyed their captain, and by branding her as off limits, she’d be safe on the ship.
From the men, at least.
Lilith was staring at her, expression unreadable, and Zelda pushed off the door and went further into the room, not wanting her back to a wall. “You shouldn’t have groped me.”
She turned to look at Lilith, who did nod and blink in acknowledgement. “You’re right. I apologize.”
She should’ve just ignored the captain, but there was a question niggling at the back of her mind, and she couldn’t stop it from slipping out. “Why did you?”
“Grope you?” Lilith asked, and gave a small smirk. “I thought it would make my point clear, in the moment.”
Zelda sneered. “No, why did you save me?” she clarified, and her anger flared again. “Why bother with it? Why not just leave me to the mercies of your men? It would certainly be easier – give your men a new toy to play with while saving you from having to look after me.”
Anger filled Lilith’s eyes to match her own, and she took a slow step towards Zelda. “I would never leave a woman at the mercy of the lusts of men.” She spoke slowly, her voice low, and looking more serious than Zelda had ever seen her. “While I hope that my crew wouldn’t do such a thing, I know they would never disobey their captain.”
“You wouldn’t leave me at their mercies, but you’ll put me at yours?”
Lilith raised an eyebrow and took another slow step towards Zelda. “Like it or not, as you are a guest on this ship and I her captain, you are at my mercy. How you choose to define that is up to you.”
And with that, Lilith turned on her heel and walked out the door.
Zelda stood rooted to the spot, stomach turning. She had half a mind to follow Lilith and demand that she explain herself further, tell her to stop the cryptic behaviors and the contradictions and just tell her what to expect as her guest, as she so put it, but a sudden wave of exhaustion washed over her. Going out and confronting Lilith in front of her crew, who saw her as the captain’s toy, was an overwhelming thought, and one she didn’t want to deal with just now.
She sat on the edge of the bed, taking the knife out of her sleeve so she could easily scrub her hands over her face. Was it really just this time yesterday she was first boarding the Demoness? It felt like a lifetime ago, and yet a part of her still felt.
It was early in the day, barely into the afternoon, but Zelda couldn’t bring herself to care. Her exhaustion seemed to run bone deep, and her anger and confusion with the captain only added to it. Sliding the knife under her pillow like she had before, she laid down and closed her eyes, focusing on the slight rocking of the boat beneath her.
Perhaps this time she’d wake at home, or back on the Azul, or, she thought with a wave of melancholy washed over her, anywhere from here.
