🍓After coming back from my birthday vacation I want to reflect on my time here. I want get all of this off my chest.🍓
In early August 2025 I made my first post on comic fury for a comic I have been working on for three years, to promote my comic and artwork I made my Tumblr account and posted fanart I had stored. My first post was in Aug 30. In the beginning, it was very welcoming I was very awkward but I slowly grew a following by sharing dumb Pokémon memes and complementing people’s art. I became mutuals with people because we had the same interests in manga. It was fun.
In April to September 2025 I was invested in a controversial manga called Made in abyss out of curiosity. I made two pieces of fanart (one was a “why dis meme” I deleted because I thought it was stupid) and in the end I made a critical analysis/critique of the manga before leaving the story behind me. I wanted to be viewed as smart for my age, able to critically analyze and critique media that I was dissatisfied with. This was the beginning of me starting to make critical posts. This was the start of my first problem, I got in way over my head. The critique post is still up if you want to read it. I took no inspiration from Mia when making my comic.
Despite all that, I still kept pushing on and I was still happy for a while until I got into my first Internet fight. In OCTOBER a 33y/o woman accused me of being a murderer because she assumed I was an antishipper. Even though I never said I was either.
This is how my bio looked at the time, after the fight I came back and re-edit it to vaguely include her because she did the same thing to me, I also did it to avoid future conflict. Does this sound a little petty? Yeah.
I’m not going to waste my breath on this for long. This was my first conflict and I did not take it well because I was caught off guard. I subscribed to her because I thought her Pokémon art looked cute. She came to me to tell me to read her bio which I did but I speedran, she didn’t like that. I tried to de-escalate the situation only for her to twist my words, insult my grammar, insult my intelligence for not knowing how to pick up social cues, was heavily ableist towards me, implied that I’m r-slured for not knowing anything about shipping terms and labeled me as a MURDERER with zero evidence all because she assumed I was an antishipper. Even after I admitted to her face that I only subscribed to her for her art and had innocent intentions when doing it. She ended up deactivating before I could send my 2nd post response to her debunking everything she said about me. Before they ran away I did some short digging to find out that they said the same thing to a 13y/o who had their age in their bio. Embarrassingly enough for a long time I couldn’t move on even after I used more memes to joke about the outlandish situation; It was strange because even after she deactivated I could still see all her posts. It took me a while to finally move on from the situation. They already deactivated so it’s not really worth it to talk to them. I don’t want to speak to them again anyways, so it’s best to just leave them alone.
Months after that I ended up falling into a trap where sometimes out of nowhere I would just make a post about a current event that was happening like the Shaay/So-sorry stuff, protesting against Ice. I’m going to admit it was very out of place for a blog meant to share my art but I always thought of it as a breath of fresh air so people will get to know me better. I got back into criticizing stories when I joined the hh/hb critical community. I found a lot of people that had similar critiques towards mine. Used my fake AU to make my version of Hazbin because the series had so much potential. At that time, I was still trying to figure myself out. I wanted to be “ mature” not in a gross edgy way. I was just waiting for my audience to cultivate itself. In Mar 2026 I ended up benching my pmd/pokespe comic. This comic meant so much to me. I ended up dropping it because slowly lost motivation to make comics, I became overwhelmed with balancing the plots and characters. you can read it on comic fury. But I felt very terrible after I decided to cancel it.
In late April 2026, I fell down into a rabbit hole of tumblr’s terrible history. My words were swayed by my emotions, and I ended up going and posting one gigantic rant about my issues with tumblr’s LGBT community. I ended up re-editing it to be more useful, and making a reflection/apology for the bloatedness of the rant. I wanted to inform people. This was the beginning of my mental spiral. I noticed people the same age as me doing the same thing and so I thought “ hey, maybe I can also juggle being an art blog and a drama blog”. This did not work out like in the past when it was just me criticizing hh. I was very emotionally and mentally unstable, too childish to handle anything properly, having to go back and remodel everything to be more proper. It was a nightmare and for the first time in a long time I was afraid of being on this app. I wanted to be recognized for my art, I wanted to be recognized for my smartness. I wanted friends, I wanted long-term friends. Because of all this piling up I took a hiatus work on my mental health. It worked for a while, but once I came back, I was faced with my entire feed being overrun by terrible things. I tried to pretend like I was feeling better by posting art but I didn’t feel that great. I felt like I just wasn’t fixing anything, I felt like I wasn’t doing enough so I kept going back to apologize or re-edit but I felt like it only worsened my anxiety and paranoia. I felt like people were watching my every move. I felt like people were speaking over my actual words. I felt like no matter what I did I couldn’t really fix the shadow of my past embarrassments and mistakes. Even going through a paranoia induced traumatic episode when finding proof for my remodel of my rant. I noticed every time I try to comfort people I keep saying “ take your time” over and over like a parrot. I became very desensitized towards everything and it re-triggered my feelings. I have been enveloped by so much toxicity and discourse it just hurts me every time I’m on this platform. The tadc community has tore me apart mentally. I’m terrified of being on this platform. My final tadc post proves that I’m tired of being on this platform. One of my biggest pet peeves is calling something super serious “drama”. It isn’t “drama” when it involves crimes or serious issues. I just don’t know what else to call it. Racism isn’t the drama of the week. What I’m about to say might sound nihilistic or hypocritical but it’s the truth, It’s not worth it. Being a kid vigilante making expose callout posts is not worth it. I’m not saying exposing a person‘s wrongdoing is bad, I’m just saying it’s peer pressuring for a young person to do and it can end up doing a lot of harm in the long run, you can easily get into controversy or get endangered. It’s not worth it to be a kid running a “drama blog”.
I turned my chill art Tumblr account into a “drama” account without taking in account my oblivious comic fury views. I am sorry to my fans from that app interacting with my Tumblr account only to be hit with toxic discourse. I am sorry to all my mutuals for my anger issues in some of my rants, I wouldn’t be surprised if you would want to distance from me because of my problems. I apologize to any person that might subscribe to my blog because of my critiques. I started this blog to get the word out of my comic and my art. This was never a discourse blog to begin with. i’m not satisfied with what my blog has become. I’m not happy. this website has brought out the worst in me. I just thought I could juggle multiple things. I don’t want to end up like an Acc kid. I want to get over my fears and change for the better. This was a very wonky step but still a first step. I’m going to take a step back from this site to be with my family more, do things I like, I don’t want to go down this path of toxicity. Over the weeks I have written down my mental issues, I want time to grow, heal and change off of them. Goodbye for now. Peace ✌🏾