gracie ⎕

[thenbcsshegoes]

જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 welcome to my blog!!

gracie. 19. she/her. insane fangirl & matty healy's controversially young girlfriend.

this blog sounds like: sex by the 1975

MDNI this blog contains 18+ content

⟢ masterlist. rules.

⟢ requests are : open / closed

find me on: letterboxd twitter

©thenbcsshegoes - reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated! but i do not wish for my work to be republished, translated, or copied. thanks!

[outromoonyy]

If you're a man and you're not Remus Lupin please stop it

[noacfslut]

almost, so close, maybe. part five. - matty healy

this is part five of six. here are the links to the other parts in case you missed them! one. | two. | three. | four.

part five: just a little bit of your heart

when farrah goes out of town, you spend the weekend at matty's apartment being bent over every available surface and fighting to not confess the feelings you've been hiding for months now

minors do not interact!

tags: 18+, age gap (25/34), cheating, oral (f receiving) ((matty is a maaajor munch in this fic lol)), fingering, unprotected sex, degradation, body worshipping, praise kink, crying during sex, cum play if you squint

20386 words

Three knocks. 

That’s all that stood between you, Matty and the front door to his apartment. 

You glance at the number plaque for what felt like the millionth time to ensure it was still his apartment you were standing outside of, nerves practically eating you alive as you build up the courage to actually make your presence known. 

Matty had told you to arrive at seven and you gingerly tacked an extra twenty eight minutes onto that out of fear of someone lingering. You couldn’t help it. What if she forgot to pack something and had to come back for it? What if she wasn’t feeling well and decided to not go anywhere at all? What if you knocked on the door to his apartment and she answered instead? 

The fear was almost enough to have you turning on your heels and heading back to the subway, sure to come to your senses on the ride back to your own apartment. Because this plan was rather stupid, wasn’t it? To leave the comfortability and security of hidden hookups in the office to standing outside of the front door to the apartment he shared with his girlfriend. 

You knew how stupid this idea was, how risky it was. But god, how were you supposed to turn him down? He was finally giving you what you had craved for nearly a year now, something past hushed and rushed hookups, something real. 

So what if you were being stupid, risky, delusional as you prepare to play house with a taken man for the weekend? The promises of what he would do to you whispered through a lingering touch at the coffee pot, in the copy room, during a meeting were enough to have you throbbing and dizzy by the end of the work day. 

They were enough to have your hand sneaking beneath the blankets that night to trail between your thighs as you imagined every filthy image Matty had planted in your mind until you were shaking and begging for a man that wasn’t even in the room, a man that you couldn’t even call to talk you through it because she was still at home. 

Matty’s whispered promises kept you sticky, wet, desperate through that lonely Friday night and Saturday afternoon as you counted down the seconds until seven that night when Farrah would be gone and the two of you were in the clear. 

The reminder of them now were enough to make your stomach flip, to have you throw all rationality and logic out the window as you raise your fist to finally knock on the door that stood between you and the promises you could only hope the older man would keep. 

Three knocks.

That’s what you had mentally prepared yourself to complete before coming face to face with him. 

So you couldn’t help but gasp when you had barely delivered two soft knocks to his front door before it was swinging wide open and you were being pulled inside, turned around and shoved against it so quickly that you couldn’t help but become dizzy. 

Matty’s fingers curl in your hair and softly push your face further against the door as he takes a step forward to press the front of his own body flush against the back of yours, it was enough to make you gasp against the wood as he leans in close enough for his breath to fan against the back of your ear and raise goosebumps along your neck.

“You’re late.” Matty’s voice is tight, stern, spoken through a clenched jaw. You could practically feel the heat from his anger radiating off of him as his fingers curl tighter in your hair, enough to make you hiss from the sting of pain jolted through your scalp that Matty soothes by licking over the shell of your ear before breathing hotly into it. “You know I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

You swallow thickly, already finding it hard to breathe as Matty pins you against the door. An all too familiar heat is quick to swirl in your stomach and settle in your core at the feeling of his body pressing against your own, desperation thrumming through your veins so rapidly that you nearly felt ashamed, you hadn’t even seen him yet. 

But god, you could only imagine what he looked like right now. 

You could feel his damp ringlets brushing against your neck as his mouth explored the area, you could smell his shampoo through every open mouthed kiss he trailed down the expanse of it. You could only assume he was fresh out of the shower and that image alone was enough to make you roll your hips back against his own, the feeling made you shudder and Matty’s teeth dig into your neck in a way that made your eyes roll back softly. 

“Sorry.” You sigh, swallowing down a moan at the feeling of Matty sucking over your pulse point, not hard enough to leave behind a bruise but just enough for you to feel it. “Subway was delayed.”

Which wasn’t technically a lie. The subway was delayed. Just only by five minutes, not the twenty eight that you had tacked onto your arrival time. 

“Hm.” Matty hums against your neck as if he doesn’t quite believe you as his hands leave your hair in favor of joining his other to explore your frame, greedy hands that couldn’t decide where they wanted to land, desperate to feel every inch of you as if he hadn’t seen you in weeks when in reality it had only been a little over 24 hours. “Hands on the door, sweetheart.”

Matty’s deep voice mumbles against your neck as his hands slip under the hem of your shirt to run along your skin that was surely hot and tempting. 

“W-What?” You couldn’t help but laugh softly, the pleasure already fogging your brain and making it nearly impossible to understand what he was asking of you.

“Hands on the door.” Matty repeats with more of a bite this time, running a hand up the expanse of your back until it’s between your shoulders and using it as leverage to push you until you’re bent over to his liking. “Don’t make me say it again.”

You’re quick to obey, bracing the front door of his apartment with shaky hands as your mind swirls from the dizzying impact of his deep, authoritative tone and the way he was manhandling you. 

“Matty, I-” You start to blabber off a better excuse that might save you from any impending punishment Matty may have planned for you, clear that he knew your tardiness was in no way due to a delayed subway, but you don’t make it very far before Matty drops to his knees behind you and effectively cuts you off. “W-What are you doing?”

Your voice was as breathless as you felt right now with Matty’s hot hands running along the expanse of your legs, the backs of your thighs, tugging softly on the hem of your skirt that you definitely could never wear up to the office. 

“I’ve got you all to myself, baby.” Matty coos, trailing his hand up the inside of your thigh until his thumb could ghost over your core clothed in lace that clenched from even the slightest bit of attention. You could practically hear the smirk spread over his face as he answered, “Whatever I want.”

“Okay, but you-” You start but are cut off yet again by the feeling of Matty’s thumb pressing down over your clothed clit, the sudden pleasure was enough to make your knees buckle and you could feel his huff of laughter against the back of your thighs. “And what about-” Matty swirls his thumb in perfectly tight circles that make your head spin in rhythm, swallowing down a moan as you try again. “W-We need-” You attempt one last time as Matty ignores you in favor of hooking his thumb under the band of your thong and slipping the black lace to the side so he could lean in a lick a thick strip up the center of your core. “Oh my god.”

You gasp as your head drops between your shoulders, your back quick to arch instinctively to give him a better angle to work with as the pleasure rolls through you. Matty smiles against your core and the feeling was enough to make your heart jump, disrupting the racing thump of it as his tongue worked over you in a way that you both knew you wouldn’t last long in. 

“Matty.” You sigh, soft and breathless, biting your lip to suppress the moans building up in your throat out of instinct as Matty’s tongue swirls over your clit in an intoxicating way. “Fuck.” You choke out, your manicured nails curl softly against the wooden door you’re bracing as the older man’s mouth works over you as if he was trying to make you fall apart in a matter of minutes, as if he had something to prove. “Matty.” 

Matty’s hands find home at your hips and his fingernails dig in meanly as he pulls you back against his face. His hold does more to keep you upright than your own hands bracing against the door do at this point, digging manicured nails into the wood as his lips wrap around your clit and suck gently until you’re biting your lip so hard you fear you might draw blood.

Matty groans against your core and your eyes flutter at the feeling, his blunt nails dig harshly into the flesh of your hips in a way that is sure to leave crescent moons behind as he devours you until your face is screwed in silent pleasure. 

Matty’s tongue swirls through your wet core until your knees are trembling, an all too familiar heat was already pooling in your stomach. You couldn’t help but roll your hips back against his face to chase the high of it, something Matty allowed you to do for a beat or two before he pressed a soft kiss to your clit and pulled away all together, a pitiful whine ripped from your throat at the loss of him. 

“You’re being too quiet.” Matty’s voice is rough, deep. It shoots straight down to your core that was already clenching from the feeling of his breath fanning against it as he spoke. “Let me hear you.”

And you couldn’t help but laugh at that, a soft giggle as you shake your head and take a moment to actually get some air down to your lungs before arching your back in hopes it’d reel Matty back in as you remind him. “Normally you like me that way.”

Matty hums as his right hand abandons your hip in favor of trailing between your thighs, ghosting two of his fingers over your dripping core, huffing his own breath of laughter when you push your hips back again in a desperate attempt to get them inside of you. 

You flush from embarrassment and can’t help but be thankful your back is turned to the older man as he continues to tease his fingertips through your wet core as his mouth trails open mouth kisses along the inside of your thigh, digging his teeth into the flesh in a way that makes your body jolt before his deep, gravely voice is speaking up again.  

“When I have you bent over my desk with an office full of people right outside my door, yeah, I want you to keep your fucking mouth shut.” Matty explains with a bite to his tone that makes your stomach flip, your empty core clench, your heart race as his two fingers tease at your entrance. “But we’re not at work, baby.” Matty coos, digging his teeth into the flesh of your thigh as he slowly starts to push his thick fingers inside of you, your mouth falling open slowly the deeper he goes. “We don’t have to worry about you getting us caught.” He mumbles the tease against your skin as he presses into you until he knuckles out, giving you a breath to adjust to the stretch of him before curling his fingers and knocking your lip loose from your teeth. “So let me hear how good I’m fucking you.” 

Matty barely finished making his wish before you were granting it, a long drawn out moan ripping from your throat as the pleasure bloomed through you, your core already clenching around his fingers in a way that was sure to pull his swollen lips into a smirk. 

“You’re such a-“ You start but the snarky remark dies on your tongue and gets replaced but a breathless moan as Matty starts to fuck you properly, quick to find a rhythm that made it hard for you to catch your breath in. “Y-You’re so-“ 

“I’m so what?” Matty bites back through a condescending tone, one you could hear that damn smirk in, emphasizing the word with a curl of his fingers. 

“You- You’re a- fuck.” You try again, only to be silenced by Matty leaning in to wrap his lips around your clit and suck until you’re practically seeing stars. Your manicured nails dig into the wooden door to find some form of stability as your legs tremble from the pleasure. “Y-You feel so fucking good.”

It’s not what you had planned, but it’s what you end up deciding on, the words falling from your tongue before you had the chance to second guess them. 

You could feel Matty smile against you as the praise washes over him, only fueling him to double his efforts over you as his hand still at your hip uses its grip to pull you back against his face while his mouth and fingers work in overdrive to send you over an edge that you were already barreling towards. 

“Oh my god.” You whine, clenching around his fingers so tightly that it earns a pinch at your hip, sighing out a rushed apology as you fight to relax as Matty’s tongue swirls over your clit in perfect rhythm with his fingers fucking into you. “F-Fuck.”

Your eyes roll back softly as you pant through the all consuming pleasure. Your mind is nothing but a foggy, dizzy mess as you barrel closer and closer to the edge. Unable to focus on anything other than fingers curling, a tongue swirling, lips sucking and a silent prayer that drool wasn’t spilling down your chin as an all too familiar heat coils in your stomach. 

You half expected Matty to pull away, tease you for being so close already, make you beg for it, beg for him. It was a basic routine at this point, he never lets you get off this easy, always one to make you squirm and plead before granting you the permission. 

You waited for the pleasure to end, for Matty to pull away and still his fingers, for his condescending tone to give you an ear full that you couldn’t wait to quip back at but it never came. 

Both of you knew how close you were, Matty was all too familiar with all of your warning signs. The panting, the clenching, the twinge of pink on your cheeks that he couldn’t even see right now but just knew was there. 

He had fucked you enough times to have it all memorized at this point and instead of teasing you, edging you, Matty moaned against your core and didn’t even come up for air as he doubled his efforts over you, hell bent on making you fall apart. 

“Matty.” You moan his name through a pant, face screwed in pleasure as sweat starts to collect along your hairline. 

Matty groans at the sound and the feeling makes your legs tremble. You swallow thickly, digging your fingers harder into the door at the feeling of his thick fingers curling and fucking perfectly against that heavenly spot that had your eyes rolling back and a pitiful whine ripping from your throat. 

“M-Matty.” You practically whimper his name this time, high pitched and breathless as one of your hands fell from the door in favor of reaching behind you to thread a hand through his curls, a long drawn out moan falling from your tongue at the feeling of his curls still damp against your palm. 

The reminder that he made himself fresh and clean for your arrival only for you to make him downright filthy the second you walked through the threshold has you feeling dizzier than before, your core clenching around him so tightly that Matty grazes his teeth over your clit out of punishment. 

“Fuck.” You couldn’t help but moan at the pain mixed pleasure, pulling on his damp curls tightly and dropping your head between your shoulders at the feeling of him groaning against you. “Oh my fucking god.”

Your thighs were trembling, sweat collecting along your hairline, your body on fire from the pleasure burning in your stomach and climbing up your spine, desperate for a release. 

“I-I’m so-“ You cut yourself off to moan. A long, drawn out and pitiful moan that Matty smiles at. His tongue flicking over your swollen clit in tandem with his fingers fucking into you in a brutal pace that made it hard to form a coherent thought in. “Fuck, Matty. I-I can’t-“ You whine, shaking your head softly as you fight off the inevitable, not wanting to fall apart until the older man gave you the permission to. You tug on Matty’s curls through an ache in your shoulder from the awkward angle. “P-Please.”

Matty groans against your core, his left hand holding onto your hip as if he needed the support while his right curls the two fingers inside of you and he sucks your clit into his mouth in a way that makes your eyes roll back until your vision is blurred. 

Matty taps his fingers against your hip, an action you missed at first but become aware of when he repeats it with more of a force this time, digging his blunt fingernails into the flesh of your hip until you realize that he was trying to get your attention. 

Matty delivers one final set of deliberate taps against your hipbone while he continues to drive you closer and closer to the high you were desperately chasing and it finally clicks what he was trying to do. He had absolutely no intention of pulling away from you long enough to verbally give you the permission to fall apart on him so he was silently giving you his approval instead. 

At least, you could only hope that’s what he meant anyway as you take your own idea as gospel and hope your decision won’t end in a punishment. 

You allow your eyes to flutter shut as you focus on the pleasure building inside of you, the way Matty’s damp curls feel between your fingers, the way they brush against the backs of your thighs. The way his fingers fuck into you, curl inside of you, the way his tongue swirls and sucks over your clit. 

You focus on the pleasure boiling and building inside of you until your toes curl in your shoes, until your fingernails were digging into the wooden door so harshly that you feared you might leave scratch marks behind, until your mouth was falling open in a long drawn moan as your high crashed into you. 

You couldn’t help but tug on Matty’s hair harshly as your body convulses through an intense orgasm that left you a whimpering, whining mess who couldn’t do much more than moan the older man's name as you fell apart on his fingers and tongue. 

Matty groans filthily against your cunt as he fucks you through your high. His efforts on you never wavering even through every tug on his hair, every jolt of your body, determined to pull every shake and whimper from you until you were completely spent. 

“Oh my god.” You sigh. Thankful that Matty had finally started to fuck you with a slower pace now that you were coming down from it all, your thighs trembling with such intensity that you had to rest your forearm against the door for more support so you didn’t fall to the ground. “Okay, fuck, I get it. That’s enough.”

Matty smiles against your core that was still fluttering around his fingers that slowly fucked into you now as his tongue lapped lazily at your sensitive clit until you were using the leverage you had with your fingers threaded through Matty’s damp curls to pull his head away from you despite his protests. 

“What if I wasn’t done?” Matty argues and you couldn’t help but shake your head softly.

“I’m telling you that you are.” You laugh breathlessly, looking over your shoulder at Matty just in time to see him pout before leaning in to press one final kiss to your swollen clit before squeezing your hip softly and pulling his fingers out of you slowly, carefully, filthily as he sucks them clean afterwards and delivers a wink up at you. 

You roll your eyes to deflect from the way your stomach flips at the sight. 

“So,” Matty drags the word out as he runs his clean hand through his hair, the corner of his mouth twitching and his dark eyes gleaming before he could even get out a casual, “were you able to get a seat on the subway or?”

You snort, rolling your eyes again in a more deliberate manner as you tease. “You are such an ass.”

“Oh, so that’s what you were trying to call me earlier.” Matty hums, his eyes twinkling with a playful light as he relishes in the way your cheeks deepen from the reminder of how he had you stuttering your way through forming a complete sentence mere minutes ago. “I was wondering.”

“Such an ass.” You emphasize as you remove your hand from his hair in favor of standing up straight and stretching both of your arms above your head, hissing softly at the ache of your muscles from the awkward angle your body held for so long as you turn around to fully face the older man for the first time today. “I think you owe me a massage now.” 

“Such a princess.” Matty mocks through a playful tone as he holds onto your hips for support as he pulls himself up from the ground, your eyes following his every move as he stands up straight and towers over you, squeezing your hips softly as he teases. “Haven’t I given you enough already?”

And whatever witty comeback you had for him dies in your throat at the sight of him. Slightly damp curls that fell over his forehead, an old band tee that was faded and fitted in all the right places, a pair of grey sweatpants that your eyes couldn’t help but linger on. 

You hadn’t seen Matty so… normal in so long that it was almost overwhelming to look at him, so used to seeing him in a suit and tie that the sight of him in something so casual had you ready to push him to the ground and have your way with him this time.

You finally draw your eyes away from drinking in the sight of grey sweatpants and a fitted tee that hugged his muscles just right to glance up at his face and nearly feel as though all the air had been knocked from your lungs at the sight of his dark eyes you’re met with, you couldn’t help but feel dizzy as they pinned you in place. 

You could only hope that your poker face had improved over the years as you mentally curse yourself for not staying closer to the door, wishing you still had it to hold onto for support as the older man towers over you with an all knowing smirk as if this was his plan all along. 

“Hi.” Matty speaks softly, the corners of his mouth twitching as he fights off a smile. 

You have more trouble stopping your own as your heart flutters as you stare up at him, delivering an equally soft. “Hi.” in return. 

The two of you stare at one another for what felt like an eternity, almost as if you were fixing each other with an unspoken challenge of who would be the first to break, which Matty loses when his eyes betray him and fall down to your lips. 

And it’s not like the two of you haven’t kissed before, you lost count of all the filthy ways Matty’s tongue had explored your mouth months ago. But did it really count as kissing when it was mostly just teeth and tongue? Did it really count as kissing when it only happened during sex? Did it really count as kissing when it was primarily used as a way to keep you quiet?

You wanted it to be real, for this to be real, for him to kiss you and mean it this time. 

And for a split second, you almost convince yourself that it might actually be happening. 

With the way Matty’s eyes lingered on your lips that were surely still swollen from the way you were biting them a few minutes ago, the way his tongue peeked out to wet his bottom lip as he stared, the way his face moved ever so slightly closer to your own. 

You couldn’t help but feel as though you were on cloud nine when you felt his breath ghost against your lips, the way he had put you on such a high pedestal to fall from before he quickly took a step back and cleared his throat, running a quick hand through his hair while you remained frozen in place praying that your poker face was masking the way your heart dropped from disappointment. 

“So,” Matty drags the word out like before, glancing at the apartment walls around you before his dark eyes find your own again, that playful glint present in them once more as he holds a hand out to reference the space the two of you were standing in. “this is the entryway to my apartment.”

You huff out a laugh, rolling your eyes at his antics as you try not to linger too much on the fact he said my instead of our. 

“Oh, yeah, it’s very nice.” You nod, playing along as you turn your head to actually take the sight of everything in now that your face wasn’t shoved against the front door. 

Your eyes scan over the space and take note of the various random prints hung up on the wall in gold picture frames, the back of the couch that wasn’t too far from where you were standing that had a green plaid blanket thrown over the back of it, a record player sat off in the corner near a big window that would surely have a lovely view of Manhattan. 

You turn your body slightly back around towards the door you were all too familiar with and notice the umbrella Matty brings to work on a rainy day leaning against the corner near a shoe rack that you couldn’t help but notice had a few empty slots, quick to glance up and land on the key ring to the left of the door that had two hooks but only one set of keys hanging from it that reminded you of what, or rather, who was actually missing from this apartment and oh it was getting rather hard to breathe in here and maybe you should have thought about what you were getting yourself into a little more before agreeing to this and what if Farrah comes home and-

“Well,” Matty’s voice pulls you out of your spiral, quick to turn around and face the older man who was taking a step closer to you. “now that you’ve gotten quite…” he trails off, clearing his throat and smirking softly before continuing. “comfortable here in the entryway,” he throws you a quick wink and you can’t help but flush as you glance down at the hand he was now offering in front of you. “how about I give you a tour of the rest of the place?”

—

“He does not!” You scoff through a laugh, shaking your head softly at the older man who was sitting across from you and fixing you with an unimpressed look. 

Matty’s couch isn’t big enough for the way you’re both sprawled across it, the two of you on opposite ends facing the other with your legs tangled together in a way that felt rather… normal, comfortable, almost domestic even.

The coffee table next to the couch is covered in napkins, stray soy sauce packets and long forgotten precariously placed takeout containers from the hole in the wall Chinese restaurant down the block from Matty’s apartment that he swore would be the best food you’d ever had. You hated when he was right. 

“Oh, he absolutely does.” Matty emphasizes through a nod, taking a final sip from his water bottle before leaning off the side of the couch to place it next to your unopened fortune cookies before settling back against the couch in a way that lets you know you were about to get an ear full. “He’s obsessed with you, Thomas practically kisses the ground you walk on.” Matty scoffs, throwing his arm over the back of the couch as he rolls his eyes dramatically before knocking his leg against your own. “That fucker thinks you hang the moon.”

And you couldn’t help but giggle at Matty’s blatant display of jealousy over your boss who was nearly twice your age. 

“I think you’re being a little dramatic.” You dismiss him, crossing your arms over your chest and settling further into his couch, your legs tangling further with his own. “He just,” You pause in search of the right words, something Matty raises an eyebrow at in anticipation until you finally settle on some. “values my opinion.”

You offer, though you know it’s bullshit even as it's falling from your tongue, further proven as much when Matty lets out a short laugh from the other end of the couch. 

“Values your opinion.” Matty mocks as he lifts the arm he had settled over the back of the couch to run it through his fully dried curls before leaning his head against his palm as he gives you a quick once over. “More like he only cares about your opinion.”

“That’s not true.” You argue weakly, shaking your head softly when Matty continues to laugh through it all. “It’s usually because I just tell him what he wants to hear.”

“What he needs to hear.” Matty corrects. “Thomas is incapable of making a decision without the input from his gold star girl.” Matty teases, knocking his leg against your own when you fix him with a glare. “I mean, the man asked you what font to use on his powerpoint, come on.”

You groan, hiding your face in your hands, you hated when Matty was right. “That was one time.”

“That was this week!” Matty argues through a laugh that warms your chest, rubbing the bottom of his foot softly against the back of your calf in a way that has you dropping your hands from your face so you could stare at his own. “And when you were out sick for a week, the whole office nearly fell apart without you there.” Matty recalls, scoffing as the memory of your absence at the office washes over him. “You know, he made me redo a report three separate times when you were gone because you usually do them better.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the way Matty mocks Thomas through his rant, the way his dark eyes rolled out of annoyance, the way his thick eyebrow twitched from irritation that only grew the more you giggled. 

“I mean, to be fair, you didn’t even know how to use Excel when I met you.” You tease through a bright smile that Matty glares at, you press your leg against his own to defuse some of the heat from it as you continue. “I am better at it.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Matty scoffs through a laugh, capturing your foot in his hand to give it a sharp squeeze that you squeal at, your heart nearly beating out of your chest when Matty lets his hand linger there after. “Do you really think they’d hire me at an office if I didn’t know how to use Excel?”

Matty raises an eyebrow at you and you couldn’t even fully grasp what he might be hinting at, too distracted by his thumb that had started to press into your pressure point now, slowly massaging the bottom of your foot and melting you further into the couch across from him. 

“What do you mean?” You squint at him softly, subtly inching down further on the couch to bring your foot closer to his hand, quickly addicted to the relief his thumb was providing. 

The corners of Matty’s mouth twitched at the action, quick to take his arm off the back of the couch so he could join that hand with his other and massage your foot more properly now, you could only hope the light in his apartment was low enough to hide the flush of your cheeks as you fight off a smile of your own. 

Matty shrugs, pressing his thumb harder into the divot of your foot as he shoots you a wink. “Maybe I just needed an excuse to get you alone in my office.” 

“Oh, please.” You scoff, deflecting. “We weren’t even fucking back then.”

You’re quick to think back on the first few weeks after he started working with you, how the two of you pretended to not know one another already. And granted, you didn’t, not really. You only knew how each other's names sounded falling off your tongues in long drawn out moans drowned out by the music blasting outside of the filthy bathroom at the bar you had met him at. 

The two of you did a wonderful job at pretending to be strangers during weeks full of tension that only grew through heated stares and brushed fingertips when you were showing Matty how to use Excel and oh my god, that was totally all an act and he was playing you that entire time, how did you not see right through him?

You take the foot that Matty isn’t currently massaging and kick him just hard enough to make him wince before laughing softly when he notices the look you’re fixing him with. 

“What?” Matty’s mouth twitches into a smirk, dropping your foot in favor of paying attention to the other one now, either massaging the area so it wouldn’t feel left out or to coax you into stop glaring at him. “It wasn’t suspicious when I kept asking you the same four questions over and over again?” Matty raised a thick eyebrow at you, pressing his thumb harsher against the pressure point and the feeling makes your thighs press together on instinct. “I’m not that clueless, love.” Matty shrugs with a twinkle in his eye. “Just wanted to see you leaned over my desk.”

You gawk at him, a surprised scoff falling from the back of your throat as you kick him with the foot he wasn’t actively massaging once more. 

“I cannot believe you right now.” You shake your head softly, the corners of your mouth pulled into a smile that you couldn’t quite fight off. “Do you know how many reports I turned in late because I was too busy helping you?”

“Do you know how ridiculously good your tits look when I’m sitting in my chair and you’re leaning over me to grab my keyboard?” Matty argues back with a pointed look, one that gets knocked loose when he laughs at the sight of your mouth dropped open in shock. “What can I say? I’m a simple man.”

“God, you are such an ass.” You reiterate through a playful tone, shaking your head softly to deflect from the way your cheeks were flushing.

“I know, you’ve already told me.” Matty winks, giving one final squeeze to your foot before dropping it all together in favor of resting his hands at your ankles instead, holding onto it as if he was trying to keep you there forever. “And don’t pretend like you weren’t popping an extra button open on your shirt before coming in to see me.” Matty squeezes your ankle to emphasize. “I wasn’t the only one who had ulterior motives.”

“Anyways.” You drag the word out in a dramatic way, turning your face towards the coffee table next to the couch in an attempt to hide the blush deepening on your cheeks. “I’ve heard enough from you.”

The sight of leftover Chinese takeout that was bound to be cold at this point sitting on top of the glass reminds you of just how long you’ve been sitting on this couch tangled up in him, how the hours have flown by like minutes, how the two of you fell so naturally into such comfortability that you had completely lost track of time.

“Shit.” You groan when you glance at the clock and realize the time, stretching your arms above your head enough to make your shirt raise and reveal a patch of skin as you sigh. “I should probably get going, I didn’t realize how late it was.”

Matty’s eyes burn a hole through your exposed stomach, dark eyes that lingered for a beat when you dropped your arms back down and your skin was covered, dangerous eyes that trailed up the expanse of your body until they were locking with your own again. 

“Or you could stay.” Matty offers, the fingers he had wrapped around your ankle tighten slightly, almost as if he wasn’t even giving you the option to leave even if you wanted. 

You scoff but it doesn’t even reach its full potential, the disappointment of having to leave already washing over you as you speak softly now. “Matty, it’s one in the morning.” 

“It’s 12:43.” Matty corrects and you give him a pointed look that he sighs at, his own voice softer now as he practically begs. “Please stay.”

The words bring an unbearable pain to your chest, hearing him beg for you for once, it made it that much harder to leave. “You know the subway doesn’t run as often when it gets this late.”

Matty barks out a laugh. “You’re fucking mad if you think I’m going to let you walk to the subway alone this late, let alone ride it.” 

“Well, I could uber?” You shrug out a solution and he scoffs as if you’ve offended him. “Get a taxi or something?”

“Or you could stay with me for the night?” Matty counters, hesitating for a beat as if he was trying to find the right words to say before he cautiously continues in a softer tone. “She won’t be home until Monday.” He explains while a calloused fingertip draws absent minded shapes on your ankle as he shrugs, speaking more bashfully now. “I was sort of planning on you staying here the whole weekend? I guess I didn’t make that clear before.”

And even though Matty had clearly avoided saying her name, the words still sting just the same to hear. They serve as a reminder of all the empty space in the apartment of things missing that the older man had clearly stashed away before you arrived, wanting to hide any evidence of the blonde's presence in the apartment, but it didn’t even matter. The two of you could play house all you wanted, it wouldn’t change the fact that it was still her name written alongside his on the lease. 

“Stay.” Matty’s voice pulls you out of the spiral you were quickly falling down, the desperation clear in his tone as he delivers the word as if it's final before his eyes soften slightly and he tacks on another, “Please.”

“I-I don’t know.” You hesitate, picking at the skin around your fingernails as you suddenly become all too aware of where you were and what you were doing. 

Matty uses the hold he has on your ankle as leverage to move your leg off to the side of his own, giving him enough space to push himself off the armrest of the couch to lean over you, your legs falling to either side of his hips as he slowly crawls over you.

Your heart is nearly beating out of your chest as Matty’s dark eyes pin you in place as he crowds your space, his right hand finding home behind you against the armrest of the couch you were leaning back on as he towers above you, stray curls falling over his forehead in a way that made him look unbelievably pretty like this. 

“Please.” He begs a final time, his voice still soft but with a little rougher edge to it now that he had you underneath him like this. 

And as badly as you wanted to stay, as badly as you wanted to spend the entire weekend bent and spread in each and every position you could imagine, you couldn’t seem to shake this gut feeling that it was an awful idea. 

You swallow thickly, reaching up to brush a stray curl out of his eye so you could get a better look at him, hesitating for a beat before sighing out a soft spoken, “I really think I should leave.” 

Matty leans down slowly and you couldn’t help but hold your breath when his curls brush up against your chin as his lips press softly, deliberately, placing a soft kiss to the side of your neck in a way that already had your stomach flipping. 

Matty takes his time slowly leaving a trail of open mouth kisses up the side of your neck, his warm mouth in no rush as his tongue runs over your pulse point and melts you into the couch. You couldn’t help but silently curse the fact that Matty knew you so well, that he always knew exactly how to coax you into giving him what he wanted, what you wanted. 

Matty continues to kiss slowly, filthily the rest of the way up the side of your neck until he meets your ear which he licks the shell of before panting into it, grinding down over your already throbbing core as his deep voice says in your ear, “I really think you should stay.”

And how were you supposed to do anything other than ignore that gut feeling and allow Matty to turn your brain to mush for the second time that night?

—

You wake up Sunday morning alone on Matty’s couch, tucked away under a green plaid  blanket that you didn’t remember throwing over yourself when you fell asleep last night. Though, granted, you didn’t remember much of anything at all about falling asleep after last night's endeavors. 

You were more than spent after the third and final earth shattering orgasm that Matty had given you on this very couch after he had convinced you to stay last night. With his head between your thighs until they were shaking and trapping him there, with your legs thrown over his shoulders as he fucked you so hard it felt like he was practically splitting you open and again with his head between your thighs after he finished licking up all the cum he had spilled all over your stomach. 

You remember the way Matty had fallen into you after your body had finally finished shaking for the third and final time, the way you were both panting messes who were too lazy to do much more than lie there and try and catch your breath and you could only assume the two of you had fallen asleep that way. 

But where was he now?

You lean on your elbow to lift your head enough to glance around his apartment that he had given you a tour of last night, a tour that didn’t last too long considering the size of the space that would be small to some but was honestly quite impressive for Manhattan.

Your stomach drops when you don’t immediately catch sight of him. The Chinese takeout that was left behind on the coffee table was all cleaned up now and every light in the apartment was off except for the lamp near the tv that provided a warm glow during last night's rendezvous. For a second you thought he might be showering, freshening up for the day after all the ways you had made him filthy a few hours ago, but you don’t hear any water running. 

“Matty?” You call out his name in a hesitant way, almost sounding as though it was a question as your eyebrows scrunch together when you’re met with silence in return. 

You try to ignore the anxiety that was growing steadily in your stomach the longer you search for him. You had lost track of the amount of one night stands you’d had where you snuck out of the house the morning after without leaving a trace behind, but you had never been on the receiving end before and especially not ghosted by the guy whose apartment you were still in. 

“Matty?” You try again, a little louder this time as you fully sit up on the couch now, the green plaid blanket pooled in your lap as you search for any sign of life. “Hello?”

And while you don’t get a response, it was almost as though all your calling out had manifested the older man's return as you only sat in silence for a beat longer before the sound of a lock being turned catches your attention. 

You turn your head to look behind you just in time to see Matty walking through the threshold with two coffees in his hand and a paper bag held between his teeth as he kicks the front door shut behind him, you couldn’t be more relieved at the sight of him. 

You were sure that Matty was feeling similar by the way his eyes lit up at the sight of you still sitting on his couch, probably just as anxious that you would slip out on him while he was out of the house and relieved to see that you had stayed. 

Matty walks over to the coffee table in front of you and sets the two drinks down on the glass before taking the paper bag out from his teeth and shooting you a big smile that makes your heart flutter. 

“Good, you’re awake.” Matty’s voice is soft and still has an edge of a morning rasp to it that you quickly become addicted to. “Probably would’ve had you open the door if I had known that.”

Matty chuckles and you can’t help but giggle along, you could only imagine the struggle he had to have endured by opening the door while balancing two coffees in his hands. 

“Yeah, sorry, I just woke up.” You apologize with a soft smile that he returns while he shrugs the leather jacket you hadn’t seen since the first night you met him off and tossed it over towards the other end of the couch. You allow your eyes to linger on the exposed muscles and tattoos for a little too long, feeling spoiled by the sight after being hidden by long sleeve dress shirts at work all the time, before pulling your gaze away to take a proper look at what Matty had carried in. “You got us coffee?”

And it wasn’t like the gesture was anything new for him to do, he made you coffee at the machine from work all the time, he knew exactly how you liked it prepared. But something about him ordering you a coffee from a shop felt different, maybe it was different. 

“And bagels.” Matty smiles, shaking the bag in his hand around slightly to show it off before setting it down on the glass table next to your coffees.

And now that you knew the contents of the paper bag you couldn’t help but sit up a little straighter out of excitement, your eyes scanning over the contents on the coffee table in front of you and you nearly freeze when you recognize the labels. 

“Wait, ARK Bagels and 787 Coffee?” You question as Matty rounds the coffee table to make his way over to the couch to sit down next to you, his thigh pressed against your own in an intoxicating manner as you glance at him and narrow your eyes slightly. “These are over by where I live?”

Now that you were more awake, you couldn’t help but notice the all too familiar packaging in front of you, the coffee and bagels both from local shops you visited so often they knew you by name when you walked through the door. 

“Yeah, well, last night we ordered food from one of my places so I figured today I could try something from one of yours.” Matty explains, shrugging as if it was the most casual idea in the world, as if the gesture didn’t have butterflies swarming like crazy in your stomach. “Or, two of your places, I suppose.”

“These are all the way down on 15th street?” You explain to him as if he didn’t already know, as if he hadn’t just come from there, your eyes full of bewilderment as you stare at the older man who hadn’t stopped smiling at you since he walked through the door. “Do you realize how far that is? That’s like,” You pause to do the quick math in your head before continuing. “eleven blocks from here, are you crazy?”

“Well, it’s not like I walked all eleven blocks.” Matty scoffs playfully, knocking his shoulder against your own before reaching out to grab the paper bag and unload the contents inside of it. “That’s why I own a car, princess.”

“Right.” You drag the word out, humming as you watch him pull two bagels wrapped in foil from the paper bag before crumpling it up and tossing it onto the coffee table to be cleaned up later. You adjust to criss-cross your legs under yourself, bringing your knee to rest on top of his thigh, ignoring the heat this new position provided in favor of teasing him. “Not a true New Yorker, I see.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Matty groans, rolling his eyes as his hand comes down to slap your knee gently, playfully, even allowing his hand to linger and spread over your thigh as he tilts his head down towards the coffee table in front of you. “Eat, please.” He emphasizes by digging his blunt fingernails in the flesh of your inner thigh before his hand is gone from you all together. “I didn’t fight the Sunday morning traffic for your food to get cold before you get to enjoy it.”

You flush as the butterflies in your stomach threaten to flutter up your throat and spill out of your mouth as you think about him making such an effort to go get you something just because he thought it would make you happy. You’re quick to reach out and grab the iced coffee you knew had to be yours, desperate to take a sip and swallow the butterflies back down where they belong. 

You swirl the ice around in the plastic cup once, twice before bringing the straw up to your lips to take your first sip. Matty watches you closely as you swallow it down and you couldn’t help but smile as the flavor washes over your tongue, your chest warming at the idea of Matty not only knowing how you liked your coffee made at work but also your typical order at a coffee shop that he had never been to before.  

“I get it right?” Matty asks with eyes that gleam as he watches you take another sip with a small smile on his face. 

You hum, nodding as you swallow the iced coffee down and pull the straw from your mouth long enough to assure him. “It’s perfect.”

“Good.” Matty nearly breathes a sigh of relief as he chuckles softly. “The menu was a little confusing, I sort of felt like I was standing there with my dick out when I was ordering.”

You snort, leaning forward to place your coffee on the glass table before unwrapping your bagel from the foil before it gets cold, your heart skipping a beat when you fully get it unwrapped and take in the sight of your usual order sitting right in front of you. 

An Horchata Latte from 787 Coffee and a plain bagel with bacon, egg and cheese from ARK Bagels. The order was so specific and so quintessentially yours that there was no chance in hell that he had pulled it out of his ass at the counter when he was ordering for you. 

“How did you know what to get me?” You couldn’t help but ask, almost feeling too scared to look at him out of fear that every emotion you feel for him would be written all over your face, choosing to keep your eyes focused on the bagel before you as you await his response. 

Matty shrugs, unwrapping his own bagel as he speaks casually yet you could hear the smallest waves of nerves as he spoke, almost as if he was as terrified that he was revealing too much by answering. 

“Well, whenever you come into the office late, you typically blame it on a delayed subway but you always have a coffee from 787 and a paper bag from ARK in your hands.” Matty explains as if he knows you like the back of his hand, maybe he does. “And I am the one who normally empties the trash bin in your office, you know, with you being a princess and all.”

Matty teases, knocking his shoulder against your own and you couldn’t help but flush at the idea of him picking up on your usual order just from seeing you carry it into work and emptying your trash. You couldn’t help but glance at him now, sure that your eyes were gleaming brightly up at him with the way he scratches the back of his neck. 

“What?” Matty shrugs casually though his voice wavers from nerves. “I’m observant.”

And god, if you weren’t so terrified of the repercussions, you would have grabbed his face and kissed him right then and there. You have to take a bite of your bagel to stop yourself from doing so, unable to stop yourself from wondering if Matty was gulping down his coffee to prevent himself from doing the same thing. 

“I can’t believe you looked at the entire menu and still ordered a plain black iced coffee.” You couldn’t help but tease to break up some of the tension, knocking your shoulder against his own. “You’re so pretentious.” 

“I told you the menu was very overwhelming, I couldn’t even pronounce half of it.” Matty explains and you couldn’t help but snort before taking a sip of your own coffee. “And I am not pretentious, I’m a man.” He emphasizes and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at his antics. “Fancy lattes are for spoiled brats.” Matty teases and you flush, biting your straw to suppress a smile that threatens to spread as he continues. “Besides, you’re drinking more sugar and milk than coffee anyway.”

“And it’s so delicious.” You brag dramatically, swirling your cup around to shake the ice and entice him. “I know you’re just dying for a taste.” 

Matty raises a thick eyebrow, giving you a quick once over and you can’t help but snort as you push his shoulder softly, sending you both into a fit of laughter and soon enough you’re back to shaking your ice around in your cup to tease him. 

“Seriously, you should try it.” You offer him the drink and sigh when his face twists in disgust in return, lifting your voice in a song-like manner as you try again to tempt him. “I think you’d like it.” 

“Fine.” Matty huffs, never one to tell you no, grabbing the cup from you with a roll of his dark eyes that lingered while he took a dramatic sip. “Fuck, that’s actually quite good.” 

Matty goes in for another sip and you practically beam as you watch his lips wrap around your straw. 

“I love it when I’m right.” You brag and Matty’s dark eyes roll again, still sipping on your Horchata Latte until you're slapping his arm softly and snatching the plastic cup back from him. “Okay, alright, that’s enough. Give it back.”

“Greedy girl.” Matty teases with playful glint in his eye. 

“So I’ve heard.” You throw back as the memories of last night wash over you, biting your straw once more as you recall all the filthy, degrading things spilled from Matty’s tongue and soaked into your skin as he made you fall apart over and over and over again. 

Matty’s eyes fall down to your mouth and suddenly the room feels too hot, too small. You needed a distraction before you slid off the couch onto your knees and had Matty for breakfast instead. 

“You know, this is two meals now that you’ve gotten takeout for.” You comment off handedly, glancing up at the older man as you take a sip from your coffee before teasing him. “Are you as incapable in the kitchen as you are in the bedroom?”

Matty barks out a laugh, shaking his head softly, his curls with it. The ice and condensation from his own cup makes his hand cold and wet as it settles back over your thigh, his blunt fingernails digging softly into the flesh as he fixes you with a pointed look. 

“I think you and I both know how capable I am in the bedroom.” Matty counters and you roll your eyes to deflect from the way such a simple action already had heat climbing up your spine. “Just as capable as I am in the kitchen, by the way.” He tacks on, shrugging. “I was actually planning on cooking for you tonight, way to ruin the surprise.”

You swallow another bite of your bagel, rolling your eyes and huffing out a sarcastic, “Oh, I’m so sure.” that earns you another dig of fingernails into your thigh, harsher this time. 

“I was.” Matty defends and you fix him with an unimpressed look in return that he rolls his eyes at. “I couldn’t wine and dine you on your first night here,” Matty explains, nudging his shoulder against your own as he shoots you a wink. “then you’d have no reason to stay.”

“I mean, I could think of a few reasons.” You tease, giving his frame a quick once over that he snorts at.

“Cheeky.” Matty emphasizes by squeezing your thigh and christ, you couldn’t wait to finish your fucking bagel so you could devour him instead. “So, do you have any dinner requests?” He tilts his head slightly, the corners of his mouth twitching as he asks. “Anything you’re craving?”

And you find it difficult to think about what you wanted him to cook you for dinner when the only thing you craved was sitting right next to you.

—

Morning turned to night faster than you had realized, hard to keep up with the time when you had spent your entire Sunday afternoon being thrown around and bent over any and every available surface throughout Matty’s apartment. 

In the kitchen when the two of you grew peckish mid afternoon and Matty looked through the fridge for all of thirty seconds before hoisting you up on the counter and devouring you instead. On the living room floor when Matty deemed the couch too small for the position he wanted to bend you in. Against the window that provided a beautiful view of Manhattan you saw through a blurred vision as Matty fucked you from behind. Under the steady, steamy stream of hot water in the shower as Matty held you up against the tiled wall and made you filthy one last time before leaving you to clean up while he kept his promise and made your requested dinner, penne alla vodka. 

And that’s where you sat now, fresh out of the shower, sitting at the small table that only sat two and was tucked away in the corner of his kitchen. Your hair was still wet and scented like Matty’s shampoo, just the same as your skin smelled of his body wash. An old band tee of his swallows your frame and completely covers his boxers that you were wearing as shorts beneath the cotton. 

It was dizzying, being so enveloped by Matty, Matty, Matty. His clothes, his scent, his heated stare that burned against your skin now as you lick some of the pasta sauce from your fork. 

Matty hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off of you all night, not since you stepped out of the bathroom and he first caught sight of you. He nearly dropped the plate of pasta he had prepared for you onto the linoleum floor as he froze in place when looked at you for the first time, his mouth parted slightly as his dark eyes wandered over your bare face, your wet hair, lingering on the hem of his t-shirt that fell to the middle of your thighs. 

You couldn’t help but feel as though something in the air shifted between the two of you in that moment, as if Matty took one look at you fresh out of the shower and had some big life-altering epiphany, something you could still see churning in his mind all throughout dinner. 

Or maybe you were completely off base and Matty’s “life-altering epiphany” was that he had forgotten to turn the stove off and the gleam in his eye that hadn’t stopped twinkling each and every time you spoke was just a result of the wine glass sporting an argentinian malbec that he had already downed half of.

“Fashion school?” Matty gasps out, nearly choking on his pasta, his thick eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he rests his elbows against the kitchen table and leans in closer to you as if you were letting him in on some big secret. 

“Fashion school.” You repeat through a slow nod. “The Fashion Institute of Technology, actually.” You feel the need to clarify, tipping your own wine glass up into an imaginary toast before bringing it up to your lips and taking a big swig to numb the painful sting you always got when you talked about it. “It’s always been my dream.” 

Matty’s dark eyes squint at you slightly, you could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he processes this newfound information about you, pushing his plate softly out of the way to provide more room for his arms to rest comfortably on the table as his head tilts to the side out of curiosity. 

“Well, if fashion school was always the dream, then how the fuck did you end up working at an office in Manhattan?” Matty couldn’t help but ask, his eyes full of bewilderment as he tries to make a connection between the two very vastly different life paths. And maybe it’s the way your face falls at his question or maybe it’s all the wine coursing through his veins that stops him from finding a better way to ask, “You didn’t get in?”

“I mean, it’s better than working at an office in Montauk, right?” You try to joke but it lands flat. Matty fixes you with a pointed look and you sigh before taking a rather large swig of the wine that he had poured you earlier, gulping it down and dropping your eyes down to the leftover pasta on your plate as you quietly admit with a shrug. “I never applied.”

“You never-” Matty cuts himself off to shake his head out of disbelief. “What?” The word falls off his tongue in astonishment, his eyes zeroed in on you as his thick brows furrow in confusion. “How are you supposed to get in if you never apply?”

You hum, swallowing some more wine that lingers on your lips afterward for your tongue to peek out and lick up while Matty’s eyes fall to watch the show. “They can’t reject me if I don’t put myself out there.”

And with the beat of silence that hangs in the air between the two of you, you couldn’t help but wonder if Matty had picked up on the double meaning of your words. It didn’t matter if it was work, college, or him - rejection terrified you.

“That’s bullshit.” Matty scoffs, rolling his eyes as he leans back in his seat and crosses his arms over his chest. “They would be fucking mad to reject you.” Matty insists and you can’t help but hold onto hope that maybe he was hinting at the same thing you were. “I mean, look at you.” Matty emphasized by his dark eyes roaming your face, your body. “You’re young, you’re smart, you’re hot.” He throws in a quick wink, shrugging. “You’re the whole package, why wouldn’t they want you?”

“I don't know, why don’t you?” The question falls off your tongue before your mind is even able to process what you were saying first, the wine swallowed down your throat had clearly removed your filter. “Oh my god.” You gasp, wide eyed and frozen in place as you watch Matty’s face fall softly. “I-I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know why I just said that.” You shake your head quickly, unblinking, forcing a laugh out. “I think it’s time to cut myself off.”

You place the wine glass on the table in front of you with a shaky hand, terrified of looking at the older man out of fear that you had just ruined the entire weekend the two of you had been having, practically kicking yourself as the silence lingers in the air. 

Your name falls off Matty’s tongue in a voice that isn’t much more than a whisper and the sound of it alone has you quick to wave him off, shaking your head as you stare at the glass full of wine that had betrayed you. 

“I-It’s okay.” You insist with a racing heart that threatens to beat out of your chest. “Can we just forget that I said that?” You ask through a laugh that surely sounded as forced as it was, emphasizing. “Please?”

Matty repeats your name again with a little more urgency this time but you’re quick to talk over him, not daring to let him get a word in out of fear that he was about to tell you to leave, terrified of rejection. 

“So, what are your hopes and dreams?” You try to change the subject, grabbing your fork just so you’d have something to do with your hands, picking at the pasta left on your plate as you fight to save yourself. “I mean I’m sure you didn’t plan on working at an office in Manhattan either.” You try to tease but it falls flat. “What did you want to do with your life?”

Matty says your name for a third and final time, leaving no room for an argument as he leans over the table to place a hand over your own that had been holding the fork. You freeze immediately, the warmth from his hand over your own spreads all the way up your arm and springs tears to swell in your eyes that you’re quick to fight off, already embarrassed enough as it is. 

“I’m sor-” Matty attempts an apology but you’re quick to shut him down. 

“Please don’t do this.” You practically beg, your bottom lip trembling as you fight to hold in the tears that were already blurring your vision, nearly falling down your cheeks when Matty’s thumb rubs the back of your hand in soothing circles. “Please, I-I can’t do this right now.”

“I have to do this right now.” Matty argues, his voice holds the same sense of urgency as your own, practically pleading as his hand squeezes your own. “Please look at me.”

And you couldn’t help the way your eyes immediately squeeze shut to avoid meeting his own, knowing how quick they would be to betray you. 

Matty lets go of your hand and you hear the unmistakable sound of a chair sliding against the linoleum flooring, your heart pounds against your ribcage as you hear footsteps approaching until your own chair is being pulled back away from the table far enough for Matty to fall to his knees in front of you, taking both of your hands in his own and practically begging. 

“Baby, please look at me.” Matty's voice is as soft and careful as his hands that hold your own, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of your hands to try and coax you into opening your eyes. 

And you do, hard not to when the older man was asking you to, you could count on one hand the amount of times you’d ever told him no. That’s how you got into this mess in the first place.

You open your eyes slowly and curse the way your heart immediately jumps at the sight of him kneeling in front of you, how close he was to you now, how unbelievably pretty he was like this. It made your chest ache. 

His eyes were wide with an emotion you couldn’t quite read while he squeezes your hand when he notices how wet your own are, how your bottom lip was quivering, how you were seconds away from letting every pent up emotion from the past ten months spew out of you. 

“I’m sorry.” Matty says earnestly, his own voice full of emotion and you could practically see the wheels turning in his mind as he fights to find the words to convey the thoughts whirling around in his head. “I am so sorry for the way I have treated you these past ten months. I-I’ve been such a dick and I-“

“You haven’t-“ You try to cut in with a weak defense but Matty isn't having it. 

“I have.” He interjects with a small nod, squeezing your hands softly. “You can say it. You- fuck, you deserve to say it.“ Matty scoffs out a laugh. “I’ve been so caught up in what I want, so selfish this whole time that I-I didn’t even realize that I was making you feel that way. And I hate that you feel like that because I-“

Matty stops himself and you cling onto the silence, desperate to know where this sentence was going, sure that it had changed its course from the way he inhaled deeply before speaking again. 

“I know that I have done a pretty shit job at showing it, but I do want you.” Matty nods, his hands squeezing your own softly as he shifts on his knees in front of you. “A-And not like that, I mean, of course I want you like that too but-“ Matty spirals through an explanation that you couldn’t help but giggle through and his eyes practically beam to see you smile. “But I meant that I want you for more than just sex.” He explains and your heart can’t help but race. “Having you here this weekend has made me realize how badly I never want you to leave.”

“Matty-“ His name falls off your tongue in a breathless, your heart practically beating out of your chest as his confession swirls around in your mind. 

“I’m serious.” Matty insists, his dark eyes never wavering. “I-I want to spend my nights sitting on the couch eating takeout together.” And the memory of the two of you swapping takeout containers to try each other's food, reading fortune cookies and arguing over who has the better future swirls in your mind. “I want to walk eleven blocks to your favorite coffee shop o-or bagel place just because it’ll make you smile.”

“You didn’t walk.” You remind him, desperate to distract from the way a fresh batch of tears were swelling in your eyes at his words. “You drove.”

“Which is arguably harder to do in New York.” Matty points out and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes softly, something he smiles at, interlocking his fingers with your own as he continues. “I want to cook your favorite dinner, I want to share a bottle of wine until we’re tipsy, I-I want to wake up next to you.” And your world nearly stops spinning. “Today, tomorrow, next week. Hell, next year if you’ll have me. I just- I want you. I-I want to be with you.” He clarifies, his voice full of emotion. “All the time.”

“Matty-“ You attempt to get a word in with the same breathless, overwhelmed tone from before but Matty is quick to talk over you. 

“And I know it might be hard for you to believe me because I’ve been making unkept promises for ten months now, but I-I swear to you that I am going to break up with her.” Matty nods, his own dark eyes full of an unknown emotion that you couldn’t quite pinpoint, maybe it was fear of you walking out of his apartment or something different all together. Your eyes fall down and he’s quick to move his head back into the line of your vision, speaking softer now as he promises. “Hey, I am. I swear to you that I am.” His voice is full of desperation now. “When she comes home tomorrow from her trip, I’m ending it with her. I promise.”

“Matty.” You couldn’t help but scoff, rolling your eyes softly as you fight to not believe him this time, having been let down more times than you could count at this point. “Do you realize how many times you’ve made this exact promise to me?” You couldn’t help but remind him, the pain clear in your tone. “How many times that you’ve broken it?”

“I know.” Matty sighs, his eyes falling shut for a second before falling back on you more red than before. “And I’m sorry for never following through but I swear to you that I am serious this time.” Matty insists and you hated the way you believed him. “I’m serious about this.” Matty squeezes your hand, his dark eyes falling down to the sight. “About us.” He continues, trailing his eyes back to meet your own before whispering. “About you.”

And while you have been waiting for Matty to confess something like this for nearly a year now, you couldn’t help but feel hesitant to believe him. You had fallen victim to trusting him so many times now that you didn’t know if you could handle being let down again, not after this weekend, not after his confession. 

“How do I know you’re being honest this time?” You couldn’t help but ask, emotion clear in your whispered tone, a stray tear betraying you to fall down your cheek and quickly be captured by Matty’s thumb. 

“You’re just going to have to trust me.” Matty says simply and your heart falls at the realization that it’s truly all you could do, trust him, even after all the months of him never following through. “Trust that I’m serious about you, that I want you.” His thumb rubs your cheek soothingly, his dark eyes pinned to your own as he promises. “Only you.”

You nod, swallowing down a lump in your throat as you fall victim to trusting him yet again. “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.” Matty confirms, shifting on his knees below you so he could bring his face closer to yours, his eyes falling down to your lips for a split second before finding your own again. “I promise.”

And for once, you actually believed him, wholeheartedly. His whispered promise practically breathed a new life into you as his eyes fell down to your lips yet again, entranced by the way they quiver softly to hold back the emotion dying to pour out of you. 

Like a moth to a flame, Matty starts to lean in and before you’re even able to realize that what you’ve been waiting so long for was finally happening, his lips were pressing against your own in a kiss, a real one this time. Not a filthy kiss that was more teeth and tongue than anything else, not a kiss smothering your mouth just to keep your moans at bay, a real kiss that was tender and soft and full of emotion. 

It was the first time that he had ever kissed you outside of sex and you felt as though you were on top of the world, time frozen in place with his lips pressed against your own, feeling as though a bucket of cold water had been poured all over you when he pulled back. 

You stay frozen in place, terrified to move even an inch out of fear that he might come to his senses and kick you out of his apartment, a fear that he might regret even doing it at all. 

The two of you stare at one another for a beat, panting in the silence and before you can even open your mouth to say something, anything to make him stay, both of his hands are grabbing your face and pulling you in for another kiss that was a little more desperate than the first. 

Matty’s lips melt against your own and knocks the air from your lungs, a kiss that takes your breath away and the two of you quickly fall into a mindless rhythm that you quickly get lost in, feeling as though you had been kissing for hours when in reality it couldn’t have been for more than a minute as his hands hold your face steady throughout it all. 

And suddenly, nothing mattered. 

It didn’t matter that you were playing house for the weekend in the apartment he shared with his girlfriend, it didn’t matter that Matty had been stringing you along for ten months, it didn’t matter what happened when tomorrow came because right now he was kissing you and it was real and you believed him. 

Matty slowly stands up from his place on the floor and you follow suit, never breaking the kiss as his hands trail from your face down to your waist, squeezing there softly before hoisting you up until your legs are wrapped around him. 

You couldn’t help but silently admire the skillful way Matty blindly walks the two of you through his apartment, not bumping into anything along the way until he’s pressing your back against a door to kiss you with a little more fever, his tongue tangling with your own as he supports you with one arm while the other fumbles around with the knob until the door you’re pressed against is opening and the two of you are stumbling through it. 

Your fingers thread through Matty’s curls as he walks you through the threshold and it doesn’t take you long to realize the two of you are in the one room in the house you hadn’t christened yet, his bedroom, their bedroom. A room that had silently seemed to be off limits the entire weekend until now. 

Your suspicions are confirmed when Matty’s knees hit the mattress and he lays you down softly over the duvet, so careful and gentle with the way that he was handling you that it was hard not to swoon. Matty settles over your frame and it’s impossible to even think about how many times a certain blonde had been in this same position in this very bed when he was kissing you like this. 

The way he tangles his tongue with your own, moaning into your mouth as your fingers thread through his hair, squeezing your legs around his waist when his teeth bites at your lower lip. 

You’ve wanted him like this for so long, slow and real, in a bed. It was a complete contrast to how you normally had him, quick and hidden, bent over a desk. It was impossible for this to feel like any of the other times before when everything was completely different this time around, not when you had all the time in the world to hold him, to feel him. 

Matty’s lips break away from your own and you couldn’t help but whine through a pout that crumbles at the feeling of his nose nudging your chin to the side to give him access to your neck that he couldn’t wait to litter with open mouth kisses. 

Your fingers tug softly on his hair now as his warm mouth trails slowly down the side of your neck, his curls tickling your chin as he licks and sucks softly over your pulse point. You could only hope he couldn’t feel the way your heart was hammering as his teeth grazed softly over the area before digging in and soothing it with his tongue. 

It doesn’t take long for his hands to become greedy, holding himself up with one pressed next to your head as the other trails down the side of your body until it slips beneath the hem of his shirt you were wearing. 

Your body jolts at the feeling of his cold fingertips against your heated skin, your stomach convulsing slightly as he runs his hand up past your belly button, taking the cotton material with him until it's pulled up to your chin. His calloused fingertips are quick to rub softly over your hardened bud and you can’t help but moan softly at the pleasure already coursing through your veins. 

Matty becomes addicted to the sound and is determined to pull it out of you again, trailing open mouth kisses down from your neck and over the shirt he had pulled up to your chin until his lips were wrapping around your other nipple in a way that pulls a gasp from your throat. 

You give Matty’s curls a sharp tug as his tongue swirls over the bud in tandem with his calloused fingertips rolling over your other. It didn't take long for you to become a squirming, whimpering mess underneath him, squeezing your legs around his waist in hopes that it would make him hurry up and give you what you really wanted. 

But it doesn’t, Matty doesn’t take the bait. He listens to you whine, feels you squirm, endures you pulling on his hair and takes it all in stride while he continues to unravel you slowly with every swipe of his tongue and pinch of his fingers over your nipples. 

You hold the back of Matty’s head while he takes his time sucking on your tits, his warm tongue swirling slowly over your peaked bud before sucking it into his mouth and pulling back until it falls from his mouth with a pop. His teeth graze over your sensitive bud until your legs are shaking around his waist only for him to bite down softly and quickly soothe it with his tongue when you gasp at the pain, using his tongue as a guide to lead him to the other side and start the process all over again. 

“Matty.” You sigh, holding onto his curls tightly as he switches between your tits for what felt like the hundredth time, your core throbbing desperately as you make an attempt to pull him away only for him to groan and stand his ground. “Please, I-I need you.”

Matty smiles at that, his lips spreading into a wide blown grin as his tongue swirls over your sensitive nipple and your legs squeeze around his waist at the feeling, desperate for some relief between them. 

He pulls off with a wet pop, panting above you with swollen lips and dark eyes that makes your stomach flip. 

“You don’t have to beg for me, baby.” Matty’s voice was deep, rough, it shoots straight down to your core. “Not tonight.” He leans down to graze his teeth over your nipple before wrapping his lips around it and sucking until your fingers tangled in his curls are pulling sharply. “I’ll give you whatever you want.” He mumbles over the bud and you shiver at the sensation. “But don’t rush me, let me take my time with you first.”

And you couldn’t help but whine at the thought of him wanting to take his time with you for once. You’d only ever had him quick, fast, rushed. It was almost as if he always fixed himself with a challenge on how many times he could make you fall apart before someone in the office noticed one of you was missing. You never had the time to just enjoy him, enjoy the pleasure he was providing, always on the brink of another high that he was chasing.

Matty indulges in your tits for a minute more before his mouth pulls away in favor of trailing down your stomach, his hands sliding down your sides to hook fingertips beneath the waistband of his boxers that you were wearing as his teeth graze just beneath your belly button before he places a sloppy kiss there. 

Your legs fall naturally over his shoulders as he settles onto his stomach on the mattress and you were already squirming on top of the duvet just from the feeling of Matty pulling his boxers down your legs. He tosses the navy plaid cotton off to the side to be forgotten about, focusing all his attention on your dripping core and the way your thighs tremble around his head when he blows air over the wetness. 

You couldn’t help but whine, your back arching off of the mattress slightly as your fingertips find a home in his curls once more, tugging softly in a silent plea for him to do something with you already, the ache between your legs already becoming too much to handle. 

Matty kisses the inside of your thigh, trailing an open mouthed trail to the apex and skipping where you wanted him most all together before going to the other side and repeating the action. His teeth dig into your flesh every now and then, only when your guard is down so he can relish in the way your body jolts from the pain before he soothes it all away with his tongue. 

He sucks bruises into your inner thigh, a little keepsake as a reminder of who you belonged to when this little weekend was over and you had to go back to reality. You squirm from the pain mixed pleasure of Matty sucking possessive bruises all over your inner thighs that you could only hope wouldn’t fade for weeks. And with the way Matty’s teeth were biting your flesh to ensure they’d stick, you were almost certain you’d have the souvenir for a while. 

When Matty deems his work satisfactory, he blows over your core once more, grinning at the way you whine at the feeling before finally taking pity on you and flattening his tongue to lick a thick strip between your folds. You couldn’t help but gasp at the jolt of pleasure that shoots through you, your fingers already curling in Matty’s hair to keep him in place, ensuring that he wouldn’t be able to tease you and pull away. 

Matty moans against your cunt, already diving in for more in a way that pulls a moan from your throat. You were so used to the way he’d normally be quick to suck your clit into his mouth and abuse your pleasure until you were quickly falling apart that the feeling of him taking his time with you, exploring your core and avoiding your clit at all costs had you feeling rather impatient. 

You knock your thigh against his cheek, a pitiful whine pulled from your throat as you practically beg for him to devour you, the desire for the man who had nearly promised you the world was eating you alive and you wanted Matty to be the one to do it instead. 

Matty’s tongue flicks through your folds once or twice more before he’s pulling away with a wet mouth, dark eyes and a self satisfied smirk spread over his glistening face. 

“What’s the rush, baby?” Matty coos, blowing over your core once more and you shiver at the sensation. “We have all night.”

You can’t help but whine and tug on his curls, desperate to bring Matty back between your thighs and make him relieve some of the pressure he had built there, the insistent throb in your core was mind numbing and all consuming. 

“I-I don’t want to wait.” You practically whimper, swallowing thickly at the feeling of his tongue licking softly over your pussy as you try to form a coherent thought. “I want you now.”

“Baby.” Matty nearly pouts, pressing a sweet kiss to your swollen clit and your body jolts at the pleasure, grateful for the attention after the way he’d been avoiding it so far. His deep voice mumbles against your core as he teases. “I need to teach you some patience.”

“You told me you weren’t going to make me beg for it.” Your breathless tone throws his words right back in his face, swallowing down a moan when his tongue flattens and licks through your wet core, moaning at the taste of you and your eyes roll back softly at the realization. “N-Not tonight.”

Matty hums, swirling his tongue over your sensitive clit before his swollen lips wrap around the bundle of nerves and sucks softly in a way that pulls a pitiful whine from your throat, your thighs tightening around his head at the sensation until he pulls away and you’re able to catch your breath. 

“And I won’t make you beg for it, sweetheart.” Matty coos, pressing another sweet kiss to your clit in a way that makes you shiver. “But shouldn’t I get what I want too?” Matty rests his head against your thigh, staring up at you with dark eyes that gleam with danger and his pretty pink lips pursed in a pout that makes your stomach flip at the sight. “I just want to taste you baby, you taste so fucking good.” Matty groans, rolling his head back down between your thighs to dive back in, mumbling against your cunt. “I always have to rush when you’re under me, let me take my time for once.”

And who were you to argue with that? Not when Matty’s head was back between your thighs and unraveling you slowly with every swipe of his tongue, every graze of his teeth, every suck of his lips. 

Matty had eaten you out more times than you could count at this point, you’d almost argue that his head had been between your thighs more than his cock by now, he had always been one to enjoy going down on you. But he had never eaten your pussy like this. Slow, methodical, intentional with every swipe of his tongue.

He knew just what to do to make you whine, squirm, tug on his curls from the pleasure his tongue was providing and he was in no rush this time around. It was almost as though he was savoring your taste, relishing in your moans, truly taking his time to pull every moan and whimper from your throat and make you unravel from the inside out. 

Minutes dragged by like hours and it didn’t take long for you to completely lose track of time, fully succumbing to the pleasure of Matty’s head between your thighs as he drags out your pleasure with every swirl of his tongue, you were surprised that his jaw hadn’t locked up yet from all his hard work.

His dark eyes stare up at you through his long lashes to watch every gasp that falls from your loose jaw, every twist of your face screwed in pleasure when he sucks on your clit, every roll of your eyes that only tints your cheeks into a deeper shade of pink. He was addicted to the sight of you, to the sound of you as he slowly drove you closer and closer to the edge. 

Matty was fighting to take his time as his hips rolled against the mattress to relieve some of the pressure between his own thighs, his hands hook around your hips to help hold you in place and his blunt fingernails dig into your flesh as his cock drags against the mattress and he can’t help but groan against you at the feeling of pleasure and relief. 

You moan at the vibrations from his mouth that roll through you, too consumed by your own pleasure to even realize that Matty was getting off to the action of eating your pussy, your eyes screwed shut as you focus on the way his nose rubs at your clit as his tongue fucks into you. 

You were panting, eyes rolled back and fingers curled tightly in his grey-streaked hair as the pleasure blooms through your stomach and climbs up your spine, you desperately chase the feeling with hips that roll against Matty’s face in a way that he’d normally scold you for. 

But not right now, no. Tonight, he wouldn’t deny you of anything. 

“Oh my god.” You couldn’t help but sigh as you tug on his curls a little harsher, your body practically melting against the mattress from the feeling of his tongue curling inside of you. “F-Fuck.”

Matty smiles against your core and you can’t help but whimper at the feeling, tugging on his curls softly in a way that makes him groan into you and his hips roll down harder on the mattress beneath him, hard enough this time for you to realize what he was doing. The action makes you dizzy, makes you crave him that much more, it makes you jealous of a fucking mattress and desperate to take its place.

“More.” You whimper through a bottom lip that quivered, your back arching off the mattress when the heat burning through your veins grows to be too much to handle. “M-Matty, I need more.” You begged even though he had told you twice already that you didn’t even need to, but with the way his painfully slow pace was driving you mad had you feeling as though it was necessary. “Need you.” You swallow thickly, sweat collecting at your hairline as you pant your way through the pleasure Matty’s tongue was providing. “Please.”

Matty groans against your cunt, his blunt fingernails digging so harshly into your hips that it was sure to leave crescent moons behind as his tongue pulls out of you in favor of licking up the slit and swirling around your clit once before sucking it into his mouth in a filthy way that makes your back arch off the bed in a long drawn out moan ripped from your throat. 

“Fuck.” You choke out, your face screwed tightly in pleasure as your hips jolt from the feeling of your clit falling from Matty’s mouth only to be abused by his tongue swirling around and around until you felt as though you were dizzy and disoriented. “Matty, t-that’s enough.” 

You try to scold but it comes out breathless and dazed as you tug sharply on Matty’s curls in an attempt to pull him out from your thighs but the older man doesn’t budge, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking once more in a way that makes your eyes roll back. 

“Come on, I- fuck.” You whine, knocking your thigh against his cheek and tugging on his curls once more in yet another failed attempt to pull him out of your thighs, the pain only makes his own hips roll down onto the mattress and the sight makes you that much more desperate to have him inside of you. “S-Stop.” 

The beg falls off your tongue in a breathless tone and while Matty is quick to comply, it doesn’t stop his dark eyes from staring up at you through furrowed brows that conveyed the confusion he felt, surely able to tell how close you were and unable to figure out why you were stopping him from sending you over the edge.

“I-I want you to fuck me, Matty, please.” You practically plead through a whine and his nails dig in harshly at the sound, as if he was fighting to control himself from throwing your legs over his shoulder and pounding you into the mattress. But he doesn’t, he holds off and it drives you crazy. “I need you to fuck me, need to feel you, p-please, wanna cum on your cock.”

Matty groans against your cunt and gives one final suck to your clit before pulling his head out from between your thighs and you nearly whimper at the sight of him. The way his face glistens in the low light of the bedroom, the way his eyes are blown wide with lust, his cheeks flushed red from the lack of air and his hair is disheveled from the way your fingers tugged and pulled on his grey-streaked locks as he devoured you. 

He was unbelievably pretty like this. 

It makes your stomach flip, your heart race, one look at him and you’re fisting his t-shirt and pulling him down into a filthy kiss that you couldn’t help but moan in when you tasted yourself on his tongue. 

Your brain practically melts out of your ears as Matty massages his tongue against your own in a battle you both knew he’d end up winning, his canine teeth digging into your bottom lip to take with him when he pulls back until it pops back into place. 

He only stays away from you long enough to take his shirt off and toss it across the room to be found later with his boxers he had taken off of you earlier before falling back into you, resuming the dizzying kiss that had you feeling as though you were floating. 

Your hands roam freely over his bare chest as his lips slide against your own, your manicured nails digging softly into his chest as they trail down his stomach and Matty can’t help but groan into your mouth and shiver at the feeling, his hips rolling down against your core on instinct. 

And while you know Matty had said how he wanted to take his time with you tonight, you were growing rather impatient. After the feelings he had confessed out in his kitchen and the way he had just unraveled you with his head between your thighs, you were more than ready to feel the stretch of him. 

Your fingertips slipped beneath the waistband of the grey sweatpants he was wearing, tugging Matty’s own bottom lip between your teeth to stop him from scolding you for being so greedy as you blindly pulled the band down far enough to take him out of confinement. 

You're quick to take hold of his length that was already hard and leaking precum from the tip that you couldn’t help but collect on your thumb and spread down the shaft as you pump him slowly, Matty crumbles and groans into your mouth at the feeling and you swallow the sound happily. 

“Fuck.” Matty breaks away from your mouth to groan, his head falling between his shoulders and his curls brushing against your chin as he watches the show you were putting on for him. “S-Shit, baby, you have to stop or I’m gonna- fuck.”

A deep, guttural groan falls from Matty’s loose jaw when your thumb swipes over the tip and your hand slides down his length to squeeze at his base. His head comes out from between his shoulders in favor of tossing back in pleasure and baring his throat to you in a way that was all too tempting and impossible to ignore. 

You couldn’t help but lean forward enough to kiss the middle of his neck softly, the moan he releases at the feeling only encourages you to trail your lips up the side and relish in the way his hips slowly start to thrust to meet the pump of your hand.

He nearly gets lost in the pleasure of it all before he swats your hand away and pulls back far enough that you couldn’t reach his neck anymore, you pout up at the older man with swollen lips that tempt him as he takes hold of himself and slowly pumps until he hisses from the pleasure. 

“Matty.” His name falls off your tongue in a pitiful whimper, jealousy seeping through your veins as your core clenches from the sight of his own hand wrapped around his length, drunk on the sight of his eyes fluttering when his thumb swipes over the tip.

“I know, baby.” Matty nods, swallowing thickly as he spreads your legs a little wider. “I know.” He coos, taking hold of his base so he could run his tip through your wet core in a way that makes you swallow thickly before lining it up with you. “You ready?”

“I’m not a virgin.” You nearly scoff, would have if your voice wasn’t so breathless just from the feeling of his tip teasing at your entrance. “You wanna light some candles first?”

“Don’t I know it.” Matty rolls his eyes and leans forward enough to rest his left hand next to your head while his other remains at the base of his length while he mutters. “Fucking brat.”

And he doesn’t even give you the chance to spit back the snarky remark sitting at the tip of your tongue, quick to knock it loose into a long drawn out moan as he slowly starts to push inside of you. Your mouth falling open wider and wider with each and every inch you take, still not used to the burning stretch of him even after all this time, even after taking him round after round all weekend long. 

Matty groans when he bottoms out, his face crumpled in pleasure as he holds still for a beat, taking a moment to catch his breath and stop himself from busting already just from the feeling of your warm cunt wrapped around him. 

“Fuck, you feel so good.” Matty groans as if it physically pains him and you can’t help but clench around his length out of desperation for him to move. 

“Matty.” You whine, squirming beneath the older man, the feeling of his still cock inside of you was quickly driving you mad. “Please, I-I need you to fuck me.”

“I know, baby, I’ve got you. I- fuck.” Matty groans as he pulls out of you slowly, so high on desperation that the smallest of movements made you both moan. “You have me.” Matty promises as he pulls out until just the tip remains before he thrusts back in just as slow. “You- fuck, baby. Y-You feel so fucking good, my god.”

And you weren’t quite sure if it was the wine still lazily coursing through your veins or the way Matty was staring down at you, but you couldn’t help but feel as though the stretch of him felt different this time than any of the others you had taken him. 

Sure, Matty was more than well endowed, but you had never struggled taking him before. So you weren’t quite sure why you were gasping at the feeling of him thrusting inside of you, why your eyes were tearing up at the stretch of him, why staring into Matty’s eyes had you nearly ready to confess it all. 

Your fingers thread in Matty’s dark hair and you’re quick to pull him down into another kiss to stop yourself from doing so. You were already one embarrassing confession deep with him tonight, you refused to give him another and reveal how deep your feelings for him really go.

Matty doesn’t complain, he melts into your mouth easily, his other hand resting on the other side of your head as he fucks into you slow and deep. You were so used to the brutal, animalistic pace that he usually fucked you with that this newfound rhythm had you squirming and trembling beneath him, able to feel him through every slow stroke he set you with.

You wrap your legs around his waist and squeeze softly, tugging on his hair just as much as he sucks on your tongue through a deep, long thrust that makes you whine into his mouth. You clench around his cock, desperate for a change of pace, the slow drag of his cock inside of you was agonizing and you needed more. 

“F-Faster.” You beg, mumbled against his lips. “Please.”

Matty picks up the pace ever so slightly, fucking into you more properly now with a steady rhythm that makes you pull away from his mouth so you can moan freely at the pleasure it brings, nearly whimpering when two of Matty’s calloused fingertips trail between your thighs to give your swollen clit the attention it so desperately craves. 

“Fuck.” You whine, your face screwed in pleasure as Matty fucks into you and swirls his fingers over your bundle of nerves until your eyes were rolling back and the breath you were panting in was stolen from your lungs. “Oh my god.”

“That’s it.” Matty coos, fucking you with deeper strokes that knocked a moan from your throat with each passing thrust. “There she is, there’s my girl.”

And Christ, you could have fallen apart right then and there just from the sound of him calling you his.

The hands you had threaded in Matty’s hair fall down to his cheeks, holding his face steady as you study each and every feature on his face. The freckles scattered over his nose, the perfectly curled ringlet that dangles in the middle of his forehead and bounces in tune with every thrust, the way his long eyelashes fan over his cheeks when they flutter shut from the feeling of you clenching around him, the way his dark eyes were roaming over your face as he fucked into you and made you wonder if he was studying your own just the same. 

“You’re so pretty.” Matty mumbles quietly, as if he was letting you in on some secret, as if he hadn’t voiced the thought to you a hundred times before. But this time it felt different, it was different. Because this time he wasn’t telling you how pretty you looked bouncing on his cock, he was staring into your eyes and telling you how pretty you were for simply just breathing. “So beautiful, my baby.”

“Matty.” You whimper through a heart that flutters, through tears that swelled, through a core that clenched at the feeling of his fingers swirling tight circles over your swollen clit.

Your manicured nails dig softly into his cheeks for some form of purchase as you couldn’t help but feel dizzy and overwhelmed by everything Matty, Matty, Matty. 

The way his cock was fucking into you at the perfect angle. The way his calloused fingertips rubbed heavenly circles over your clit and melted you into the mattress. The way his dark eyes were staring down at you as if he was properly seeing you for the first time. The way he hung onto every gasp, moan, whimper and whine that falls from your swollen lips as he fucked you senseless. 

“Taking me so well.” Matty groans, turning his face to the side softly so he could press a kiss to your hand holding his cheek before continuing. “You- fuck.” Matty cuts himself off to choke out a moan. “You always take me so well, baby, fucking made for me.”

And oh, did you like the idea of that, being made specifically for Matty, being his. It’s all you’ve ever wanted. 

“Matty, I-“ You start to confess but a moan rips from your throat and stops you from doing so. “I- oh, fuck.” 

“I know.” Matty nods and your heart jumps at the idea of him already knowing what you couldn’t bring yourself to admit. “Me too.” 

And god, you couldn’t do anything but hope that he actually knew the words on the tip of your tongue and wasn’t just assuming that you were about to say how close you were.

“That first night that I met you- fuck.” Matty groans, fucking into you deeper, slower now. “Y-You flipped my whole world upside down.” He admits through a face that crumbles in pleasure at the feeling of you clenching around him. “And ever since that night, y-you’re all I think about.” He moans, fighting to keep his composure as his dark eyes locked with your own through a thrust that knocks the air from your lungs. “You’re all that I want, the only girl that I want. Y-You’re everything- fuck.”

You can’t help the way your bottom lip quivers, the way your eyes swell with tears as the overwhelming emotion boils over and nearly spills out of you. 

“Don’t cry, please don’t cry, baby.” Matty urges, leaning down to lick up a stray tear that had fallen down your cheek. “Too pretty to cry.”

“I-I’m sorry.” You whine, shaking your head softly and squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to will away the tears as you focus on the way he was fucking into you, the way his fingers were swirling over your bundles of nerves instead of the way your chest ached with an emotion you couldn’t bring yourself to admit. Even as it nearly pours out of you when you open your eyes to face him again. “I just- fuck. I-I just-“

“I know.” Matty emphasizes through a small nod that has you convinced he already knew the words you were trying to say and the realization only springs more tears to your eyes that fall down your cheeks for Matty to lick up. He kisses your cheek softly before trailing a path down to your lips that he pulled in for a tender kiss that you melt into and made you feel as though you could soar. “One more day, then you’re all mine.” He mumbles the promise against your lips before pulling back far enough to look you in the eye. “I promise.”

And you couldn’t help the long, drawn out moan that rips from your throat as his words wash over you, the statement having more effect on you than any other degrading filth he’d spewed at you in the past. So high up on cloud nine that you couldn’t find it in yourself to feel guilty unraveling in her bed as you counted down the seconds until Matty was all yours, until you belonged to him. 

Matty crumbles into your neck, panting against your skin as he fucks you with a little more fever now, his tongue licking over the flesh before digging his canine teeth in the side of your neck and practically growling. “Mine.”

Your eyes roll back as your fingers tug on his hair for some form of purchase as he doubles his efforts over you, feeling as though your body was on fire from all the pleasure burning through your veins as you clench around him and pant your way through the mind numbing pace he was fucking you with. 

“Fuck, I-I’m so fucking close, baby.” Matty groans against your neck, his hips stuttering inside of you before picking up in pace, his calloused fingertips following suit as he desperately tries to barrel you as close to the edge as he was. “You close, princess?” 

You couldn’t do much more than respond with a pitiful whimper and a quick nod that would surely knot your hair against the duvet as Matty fucks you senseless. 

“Yeah? You wanna cum all over my cock, baby?” Matty groans, his mouth growing filthier the closer and closer he gets to his high. His calloused fingertips swirling tight circles over your clit in a way that has sweat collecting at your hairline, desperate for a release that was already climbing up your spine. “Fuck, baby, you feel so fucking good.” He groans, deep and guttural. “Where do you want me?”

Blame it on the wine or the undeniable connection you felt to Matty right now, but you finally find it in yourself to ask for the one thing you’ve craved since the night you first met him.

“I-Inside.” You say in a voice barely above a whisper, only positive that Matty heard you by the way he groans and digs his teeth into your neck at the idea. “I-I want you to cum inside of me, Matty, please.” 

Matty pulls away from your neck so he could get a good look at you, his dark eyes blown wide with lust and an unknown emotion gleaming in his eye as he pants above you and asks through a rough tone, “You sure?”

“Please.” You practically whine, squirming underneath him as you beg unashamed. “I-I’ve wanted it since the night I met you, p-please.” You admit and Matty groans, his hips stuttering and fingers zeroing in on your clit in a way that makes you gasp as you stare up into his dark eyes and plead, “Wanna feel you.”

“Fuck, baby.” Matty groans, deep and guttural as he fights to not fall apart right then and there. His hips stuttering as he stares down at you, taking in a deep breath to calm himself down before doubling his efforts over you, fucking you with a pace you were all too familiar with as his fingers swirl deliciously addicting circles over your swollen, sensitive clit. “Yeah? You want me to cum inside of you and make you all mine, baby?”

“Please.” You beg shamelessly, clenching around Matty’s cock in an effort to stop him from pulling out even though that method had never worked for you in the past. Your hands fall around his neck to dig manicured nails into his back as he fucks into you with fever now, desperate to send you both over he edge. “I-I want to be yours, Matty, make me yours.”

“Fuck.” Matty nearly whines through a pant, his hips stuttering once more and signaling that he was about to fall apart any second now. You could only clench around him tighter and hope that he’d keep his promise from earlier of giving you whatever you wanted tonight as he fucks both of you closer and closer to a high he was chasing for the both of you. “I’m so- fuck, you feel so fucking good. Y-You’re so tight, so perfect- shit, baby.” Matty praises and you practically preen as it washes over you. “I love fucking you, love your pussy, love- fuck, I-I love you.” Matty confesses through a pathetic whine that makes your entire world stop spinning while his own was whirling faster and faster down the spiral of his release. “I- oh my god, I-I’m so fucking close, baby, fuck. I-I’m gonna- oh god, I’m gonna fucking- ah!”

It’s all the warning you get before Matty is spilling inside of you and finally giving you what you wanted after all these months, filling you to the brim and making you his. The feeling of him cumming inside of you is enough to send you over the edge, your fingernails digging into his back as your high crashes into you at the same time as his own in an orgasm stronger than ever before, something Matty is determined on dragging out as he continued to fuck and swirl through every tremble of your body until you’re weightless on the mattress underneath him. 

“Fuck me.” Matty groans as he falls into you, not even bothering to pull out as he rests his forehead against your own and pants in tune with you, both of you fighting to catch a breath that Matty steals right back out of your lungs when he leans down to kiss you once more. 

It’s quick, but it’s enough to make your heart race, your mind whirling in a constant state of repeating the way Matty’s voice had groaned I love you, I love you, I love you as you stare up at him and try to convince yourself that you had just misheard him. 

You had to have misheard him, right?

Matty whistles, laughing softly. “That was-“

“Yeah.” You cut Matty off in a breathless tone and your heart flutters as you watch the smile slowly break out on the older man’s face. I love you, I love you, I love you. 

And while everything inside of you is screaming for you to talk about it, to ask if he really meant it, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it because what if he didn’t even say it at all? 

“I should give you wine more often.” Matty teases, leaning down to kiss the tip of your nose before shooting you a wink. “You’re actually well behaved when you’re tipsy.”

And oh, maybe this was his way of letting you down easy. Maybe those three words were spoken through a tipsy haze and he realized his mistake now that he had come down from his high. 

And even though your chest aches at the thought, his voice still plays on a constant loop in your mind. I love you, I love you, I love you.

“I’m not tipsy.” You roll your eyes, squeezing your leg around his waist. “Guess that means I’m not a brat after all.” You smile brightly and it’s Matty's turn to roll his eyes. “And I should give you wine more often.” You tease, bopping a finger against his nose in a way that makes him scrunch it. “You actually lasted longer than normal, so I suppose you can cancel that viagra subscription.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Matty snorts, nipping his teeth at the finger you had just used to bop his nose with. I love you, I love you, I love you. “And I’m not tipsy either.” He confirms and oh, maybe this was his way of trying to gauge if you had heard what he said, a way for him to let you know that he meant it if you had. If he wasn’t tipsy then he had to have meant it, right? “I lasted longer than I normally do because I didn’t have to worry about Thomas or Luke walking in on us, thank you very much.”

“Oh, I’d love for Luke to walk in on us.” You can’t help but tease, clenching softly around his cock that was still inside of you at the sight of his face immediately hardening at the mention of the boy from the office who was around your age, the one who followed you around the office like a lost puppy and drove Matty wild. “Maybe he’d be down for a threesome, you think?”

“I think you should shut that pretty mouth of yours before you get yourself into trouble.” Matty spits back with a raised eyebrow that has thrill shooting up your spine. I love you, I love you, I love you. “Got my cum spilling out of you and you want to make jokes.” Matty scoffs, holding onto your hip as he pulls out of you slowly, both of you hissing at the loss of one another. “And that’s why you are, in fact, a brat.” 

“You love it.” You throw back, giving him the perfect opportunity to repeat what he had said earlier, practically daring him too. Your mind is already repeating it in his voice on a constant loop. I love you, I love you, I love you.

“I love fucking it out of you.” Matty clarifies, rolling his eyes in response and you can’t help the way your shoulders deflate in disappointment. 

But the way Matty's eyes sparkled as he stared at you now was more than enough confirmation that you hadn't misheard him, that he had in fact confessed the three words that you couldn’t seem to get out of your head. I love you, I love you, I love you. And as desperately as you wanted to talk to him about it now, you were more than sure that you were well past the window of opportunity to bring it up naturally. 

All you could do was wait until he confessed those feelings for you again, hoping that it wouldn’t take him too long, if he ever did again at all. 

Matty glances down between your thighs and crumbles through a guttural groan ripped from his throat at the sight of his cum spilling out of you. 

“Fuck, baby.” Matty moans, his eyes glued to the filthy sight. “Look at you.” He coos, running two fingers through his cum that dripped out of you, collecting it on his fingers before pushing them inside of you. A pitiful whine rips from your throat at the feeling, your pussy sensitive and fluttering still from the high you were still coming down from. “What a filthy fucking girl you are.” Matty delivers the degrading sentence as if it’s praise and you preen just as much, clenching around his fingers that fuck his cum back inside of you. “Someone should clean you up.”

And as Matty makes his way back down between your thighs, kissing over the bruises and bite marks he had left behind earlier and leaving new ones in the gaps, those three words he had confessed whirl around in your mind on a constant loop while Matty devours you once again. 

You’re succumbed to nothing but teeth, tongue, I love you, I love you, I love you and that gnawing remorse for not saying it back. 

[mercyhit]

i genuinely can’t think about the personal history of the 1975 without getting emotional because what do you mean if the singer hadn’t dropped out after one rehearsal none of this would’ve happened? what do you mean matty didn’t even want to be the singer and thought he was bad at it and that insecurity is partially what contributed to his struggles with addiction? what do you mean matty literally called george “the best thing that ever happened to me?” what do you mean matty begged ross and adam’s parents to let them stay in manchester after school so the band wouldn’t break up? what do you mean matty wrote a four-minute platonic love song about the band? what do you mean they literally cannot argue with each other or else they can’t make music? what do you mean they’ve been friends for as long as i’ve been alive? i’m going to go insane

[jiimeniita]

[natti-ice]

18+ mdni

Me: “fuck, I need his cock”

Him: *is literally just words on tumblr*

[r3ddster]

why is it always "i love you" and not "the other night i cried whilst thinking of having sex with you, not out of desire or shame but some subconscious impulse to feel pain. i wipe my tears on my face and neck and the backs of my ears and said 'now its sweat. now its sweat. its sweat now.'"

[noacfslut]

almost, so close, maybe. part four. - matty healy

this is part four of six. here is part one, part two and part three in case you missed them!

part four: my man on willpower

when running late for work results in you opting to wear your glasses instead of your contacts, you find yourself staying after hours at the office with matty to work out some kinks. but when a certain blonde surprises matty to fulfill her own fantasy of being bent over his desk, your entire night gets derailed, and you find yourself stuck being her new confidant.

minors do not interact!

tags: 18+, age gap (25/34), cheating, oral (m receiving), throat fucking, glasses kink? (like he's really crazy about seeing her in glasses lol), degradation, very brief moment of her grinding down on his shoe lol, very brief d word mention, crying during sex, cumshot, cum play (if you squint), semipublic/public sex

13163 words

You didn’t know a single other twenty five year old living in Manhattan who was as willing to stay and work after hours at the office as often as you did. And honestly, if it weren’t for a certain curly haired man always volunteering the two of you for it, you might have found something better to do with your weeknights other than stare at spreadsheets past your typical promised nine to five.

I mean, sure, it was 6:13 on a Wednesday night. What plans could you possibly be missing out on? But you lived in New York City for Christ's sake, of course there was something going on that you’d regret missing. 

You were nearly positive that your long forgotten phone was currently blowing up with texts from the group chat with your friends asking if you were coming out with them tonight because even though it was a Wednesday, you were young and had proven many times how able you were to down an alarming amount of green tea shots and still make it to work on time the next morning. And if that wasn’t tempting enough, there was surely a bouncer outside of a bar somewhere just itching to let you inside for free.

You could go out on the street, throw a rock and probably hit at least fifteen other girls in their young twenties on their way to the bar tonight to do just that. Clock out of their nine to five and change out their pencil skirts for something far more scandalous to spend their Wednesday night drinking, flirting, finding somebody to take home and forget about the next morning.

But you didn’t want any part of that.

Because yes, you were young and attractive enough to guarantee a night full of free drinks and decent sex but none of that really mattered when no buzz from any alcohol could compare to the feeling of Matty’s fingers running through your hair, to the way your knees were burning against the carpet of the office floor as you shifted in a desperate attempt to find some relief, to the way his head was thrown back in a long drawn out moan that you could only hope the blaring horns from the taxis forty floors below were drowning out.

“Fuck.” Matty groans, deep and breathless, drunk on the way your tongue was tracing over a vein on the underside of his length. “Been dreaming about that fucking mouth of yours all day, baby.” 

You nearly preen at his words, digging your manicured nails into his thigh at the sight of him, his head thrown back against your office chair and his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat when he swallowed thickly through breathless pants that had your thighs clenching. A taxi blares its horn on the streets beneath the two of you as you swallow around him and he shudders at the feeling, his fingers curling in your hair in an attempt to ground himself as you fight to remember to breathe as you take more of him in. 

Like every weeknight that you agree to stay after hours at the office, you had genuinely planned on working. Now, whether that actually rang true or if it was just something you told yourself to feel better about getting paid overtime to be bent over a desk, you weren’t quite sure. 

All you knew was that the end of the workday was at five and all of the stragglers were out of the building by 5:40 at the latest and those forty minutes were precious because they were about all the time you had to get whatever work needed to be finished done before Matty was saying goodbye to the last lingering coworker and manhandling you into whatever position he deemed fit this time, always leaving you to wonder how you even got there in the first place. 

“Fucking hell.” Matty groans, his hand that wasn’t curled up in your hair comes to down push back up the black rimmed frames that were falling down your nose from the way your head bobbed over him. You couldn’t help but moan around his length at the feeling and Matty nearly crumbles in return. “These glasses have been driving me fucking crazy all day.”

And oh, now you remembered how you ended up here. 

You had woken up late this morning after an alarm that you swore you snoozed but apparently silenced instead, leaving you with little to no time to get ready for the day, not wanting to keep Thomas waiting for too long. Your boss let you get away with a lot; skirts that were a tad too short, late assignments due to the man's legs you were between right now, all the vacation time you wanted. You had it made at the office and you didn’t want to see that all come to the end by showing up late and getting on your boss’ bad side.

By the time you were nearly done with the five minute makeup you had mastered back when you were a teenager, you realized that in all your rushing, you had forgotten to put your contacts in first and now that your lashes were already coated with thick layers of mascara, it was too late to attempt it now. So with a grumbled curse and a hesitant thought on forging them all together and just being blind for the day, you grabbed your glasses off of your nightstand and made your way to work. 

You only ever wore them at nighttime, fresh out of the shower and after your skincare routine was finished or when you were sick and stuck in bed for the weekend with no energy to deal with the process of putting your contacts in. You never wore them in public, still stuck in some high school routined fear of being bullied for wanting to see clearly. 

The entire train ride to the office you could only hope that maybe nobody would notice. 

But how could they not? Black, thick rimmed, large enough to cover half of your face. They were the typical pair of glasses that some nerd in a movie would have perched on his face and you couldn’t help but be embarrassed for your coworkers to see you in them, for him to see you in them. 

You were already fighting for his attention enough as it is against his blonde bombshell of a girlfriend, you were terrified that seeing the glasses on your face would be enough for him to finally drop you all together and be a loyal boyfriend for once. Or maybe he’d try a hand at Maeve from accounting next. You couldn’t stomach the thought, walking into work with your head down and a hope that maybe Matty called in sick that day, too terrified and embarrassed to face the older man. 

But how could you be embarrassed when you stumbled into the morning meeting, more than late at this point, and quietly sat across from Matty who took one look at you and couldn’t even finish his sentence without stuttering his way through it? 

At first you thought maybe his struggle was due to a dry throat, maybe he just needed a glass of water. But as you opened the lid of your laptop and felt the tip of his shoe running against the inside of your ankle, you couldn’t help but look over the top of your screen at the older man and meet his heated gaze that had you thinking he’d rather have a drink of you instead. 

You had spent the remainder of the meeting juggling through trying to catch up on everything you had missed while fighting to not become too distracted by Matty’s foot insistently playing with your own under the table.

To say Matty was obsessed with the black frames was an understatement, surely some stereotypical office fantasy of his come to life with the sight of you in a tight pencil skirt that was almost too short, a blouse that had one too many buttons undone and the sight of those damn glasses perched on your nose. 

It felt as though you were a walking wet dream with the way Matty couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of you all day. Sliding a quick hand around your waist in the copy room when he pressed his body against your own to reach into the cabinet above you, tracing his fingertips against the back of your thigh when you were stood in front of him at the coffee machine, trailing his hand between your thighs under the table at the meeting Thomas called after lunch so he could toy with the lace of your thong while your boss droned on and on about the quarterly numbers. 

You couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him being tortured by the sight of you all day, plagued by the filthy fantasies swimming around in his head and unable to act on any of them, surely cursing the fact that of course today was the day where everyone in the office seemed to need you. Every time he tried to sneak into your office, someone had either already beat him there or you were missing altogether which left him more and more frustrated with every attempt.

So it came as no surprise to you when Thomas asked who would be willing to stay late and Matty was already volunteering the two of you before your boss could even finish the sentence.  

Maybe you should wear your glasses more often.

“Baby.” Matty groaned through a ragged tone and you felt as though you were on cloud nine, hollowing your cheeks in a way that made the older man shudder as you glanced up at him through your frames. Matty’s thigh jerks at the sight, sending his length down your throat in a way that makes your eyes water slightly and Matty practically whines at the sight. “Fuck, you can’t look up at me like that or I-I’m not gonna last.”

You couldn’t help but bat your eyelashes up at him in an ironically innocent act that makes him tug on your hair harsher before placing a hand in front of your face in an attempt to cover your dangerous eyes until he found his footing. Your eyebrows furrow at the sight, quick to slowly pull him from your mouth, a witty comeback at the tip of your tongue that swirled over his tip before sealing a kiss there. 

The action made his thigh tremble beneath your hand that trailed to take hold of his base while the other reached up to knock his hand out of the way so he’d be forced to look at you, the older man too far gone to even think about closing his eyes instead.

“I thought older men were supposed to have better stamina.” You tease, slowly pumping him in your hand that must have been a little cold considering the way he shivered. 

Matty chuckles, breathless through pants as he struggles to maintain some power even as his face crumbles when you lean in to trail soft kisses along the veins of his length. You had him in the palm of your hand, in more ways than one. 

Matty clears his throat, shifting against your office chair as he stares down at you with eyes that flutter softly when your thumb swipes over his tip. “And I thought desperate girls knew to keep their mouths shut if they still wanted a chance to cum later.”

You squeeze his base softly as a shiver runs up your spine at the thought of him using your mouth and leaving you here with nothing. It nearly makes you fold, but as you stare up at the older man who was still fighting through pants even now, you decided you liked your odds. 

“Oh, I'm not desperate.” You practically beam, staring up at him over the rim of your glasses before using your hand that wasn’t slowly pumping him to push the frames up the bridge of your nose and Matty nearly crumbles at the sight. “You on the other hand...” You trail off, biting your lip to suppress a smile that shined brightly at him anyhow, your manicured nails running softly along the side of his length in a way that makes him hiss as you tease. “If I knew wearing my glasses got you like this, I would have thrown my contacts away months ago.”

“You’re not desperate?” Matty chooses to ignore you in favor of asking, his thick eyebrow raised in disbelief, still in place even when you shake your head softly. 

You were too busy peppering gloss coated kisses along the expanse of him to even notice the gleam in his dark eyes, sure that you were one step ahead of him until you felt his foot sneaking between your thighs, the lace of his shoes providing just a ghost of a touch that was addicting enough for your hips to roll down and chase. 

Your stomach drops at the realization of what you had just done, your hand freezing at the base of his cock while you slowly glance up at him only to be met with a smirk you thought you’d wipe clean ages ago. 

“Well, could’ve fooled me.” Matty shrugs, lifting his foot up just enough to graze over your core that throbs at the attention, only to pull it out from between your thighs just as quickly as he placed it there. 

The pitiful whine the action pulls from your throat is like music to Matty’s ears, spreading his smirk further. 

“Oh, did you want something?” He coos, the condescending tone flying off of his tongue and your thighs can’t help but clench at the sound. Matty threads his fingers through your hair, gives it a soft tug to put your head back in place and promises, “If you suck my cock good enough, I’ll give you something better than my shoe, baby.”

And while his words were rolling through you like wildfire, you were determined to act unaffected as you rolled your eyes and stared up at him over the thick rim of your glasses before opening your mouth just wide enough for a trail of spit to fall from your swollen lips and land over his tip, pumping him slowly to spread it over him and practically preening when Matty’s thighs twitch at the action.

You lean down to lick a strip from his base all the way to his tip that was already leaking precum, reveling in the sound of his breathing picking up the pace before wrapping your swollen lips around the tip once more and closing your eyes to focus on relaxing your throat before you slowly start to lower your mouth over him. 

“Baby.” Matty mumbles, his voice as strained as the muscles in his thigh as your mouth drops lower and lower over him, a moan pulled down from his toes when his tip hits the back of your throat. “Baby.” Matty whines when you keep going, his fingers gripping your hair so tightly that it springs tears to your eyes while his other hand white knuckles the armrest of your office chair as your nose brushes against a button on his shirt that neither of you bothered spending the time to remove. “I-, oh, fuck. I- shit, baby girl, fuck.”

Your hands spread over his thighs, fingernails digging into the material of his slacks so harshly that you could only hope you weren’t leaving marks behind as you push yourself to the final stretch and take all of him down your throat. 

Matty throws his head back in a long, drawn out moan as his hips jerk and send him even further down your throat in a way that makes you gag and the tears that had sprung in your eyes start to trickle slowly down your cheeks. 

Matty uses the leverage he has with the grip of your hair to pull you off of him, concern written all over his face that you could barely see through a blurry vision as you take a deep breath and swallow some of the spit mixed precum lingering in your mouth before it drooled out from your swollen lips. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” Matty is quick to gasp out, his dark eyes scanning over your face and taking in the sight of you, you were sure that you looked as fucked out as you felt. “Are you okay?”

And something about him checking in on you, something about him apologizing, it had you shaking his hand out of your hair so you’d have the freedom to fall back into him all over again. Sure, the bar was in absolute hell, but something about him showing that he actually cared about you had you proudly desperate to pleasure him. 

“Baby, are you-” Whatever concern was on the tip of Matty’s tongue fades out into deep, guttural moan at the feeling of your warm mouth enveloping him again. “Oh my god.” Matty groans, his head tipping back softly as he pants through endless pleasure. “You’re so- fuck, baby.” Matty’s voice is as rough as the fingers he threads back through your hair, unable to stop himself from using his grip to help control the pace with which your head was bobbing over him. But you didn’t mind, you quite liked being used by the older man, especially when he praised you like this. “You’re so fucking good, baby, take me so well.”

You practically preen, shifting your knees over the uncomfortable carpet of your office floor in a way that was sure to leave a rash as you moan around him, the vibrations seeming to knock some of the filthy fantasies from his mind. 

“You have no idea how hard it was to keep my hands off of you all day.” Matty groans, his thigh twitching beneath your palms as your fingernails dig into his thigh and if his hand wasn’t gripping your hair so tightly, you might have pulled off to quip a bratty remark about how he actually didn’t keep his hands off of you one bit, but your mouth was rather busy right now. “Fuck, baby, as soon as you walked into the room all I wanted to do was bend you over that table and fuck you in front of everyone in there.” 

Matty’s hips roll up softly to meet the bob of your head and you couldn’t help but moan around him, unsure if it was due to his words or actions, you were drunk on both. Matty groans, the corner of his mouth twitching in a way that shows he’s fighting off the coil in his stomach as he plants his feet on the floor and delivers a more powerful thrusts that knocks more tears loose from your eyes. 

“Let them all see how filthy you like to be fucked.” His voice grows more ragged as his hips continue to roll up to meet each and every bob of your head over him. “How slutty you are for me.” He groans through gritted teeth and you couldn’t help but dig your manicured nails into his thigh in some attempt to ground yourself as Matty’s cock slid further down your throat with each passing thrust. “All for me. Isn’t that right, princess?” 

Matty asks as if he already knows the answer and you’re pitifully already nodding your head before he can even finish asking. He rewards you with another thrust up into your mouth for that and you can’t help but grind your hips down on nothing in return, desperate for relief of your own and whining as best as you could with a mouth full when you get none. 

The aching throb of your neglected core was becoming rather distracting and it was getting harder and harder to focus on your task at hand when all you could think about was how desperate you were for Matty to touch you already. 

You could feel your fingertips twitching against his thigh, desperate to trail between your legs and relieve some of the ache between them. But you wanted to be good for the older man, you’d rather be dripping in desperation than for him to be disappointed with you for disobeying him, but you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold off. 

You needed to get out of your head, you needed a distraction from the throbbing ache of your core. You needed to be mindless, brainless. You needed Matty to ruin you. 

So in an attempt to stop your hands from trailing between your thighs and to silently signal what you wanted, too shy to say it out loud, you slowly take your hands off of his thighs in favor of folding your arms behind your back, staring up at the older man through teary eyes over the rim of your glasses as you scrunch your nose in an attempt to pull them back up. 

Matty was panting through ragged breaths as he stopped the roll of his hips and took in the sight of you, his cock twitching against your tongue as he realized what you holding your arms behind your back meant.

“You want me to take over?” Matty coos, his dark eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of you swallowing around him as you nod as best as you could, already digging your own nails into the flesh of your arms as you await for him to follow through. “You sure?” 

Matty asks in a softer tone and you can’t help the way your heart flutters at the concern in his voice, you nod once more and nuzzle your cheek against his hand when he brings it down to wipe a stray tear from the surface before using his pointer finger to push your glasses further up the bridge of your nose yet again. And god, maybe you were falling in lo-

Matty’s fingers thread through your hair, collecting your hair into a makeshift ponytail with a familiar, practiced ease that makes your stomach flip. You shift on your knees, wincing slightly at the ache in your muscles, unmatched to the ache between your thighs as you dig manicured nails deeper into the flesh of your arms and relax your throat in preparation for him. 

Matty tugs on your hair softly, enough to grab your attention and bring your eyes up towards him, glancing at the older man above you over the rim of your glasses in a way that makes him groan. There’s an unspoken energy between the two of you, a silent question behind his nearly black eyes that makes your heart flutter all over again, overwhelmed by his insistent need to make sure you were okay. 

Your left eye falls down into a wink and that’s the final confirmation Matty needed to let go and allow his pleasure to take over. 

Matty rolls his hips up into your mouth, slow and experimental at first, as if he was scared you might break. A broken moan rips from his throat when his tip hits the back of your throat, his dark eyes flutter softly at the feeling, his fingers wrapping tighter around your makeshift ponytail as if he was struggling to hold himself back.

You moan around his length and revel in the way his hips stutter as the vibrations roll through him, your office chair creaking beneath him as his hips jerk and send him further down your throat. Though you don’t gag this time around, fully expecting it because you knew him too well. You take him in stride, swirling your tongue around his tip every few thrusts and trying to remember to breathe through your nose when you find a chance. 

“Fuck, you’re so-” Matty cuts himself off to groan through a breathless pant that makes your stomach swirl. Matty grips your makeshift ponytail a little tighter as his hips start to snap a little faster now, his head tossed back in a strained moan that has your empty core clenching before he finally finishes his thought. “Perfect.” He groans. “You’re so fucking perfect.” He speaks through gritted teeth, his face screwed in pleasure as his hips snap into your mouth. “Feel so fucking good, baby, got such a filthy mouth, I- shit.”

You can’t help but moan around him once more, knees shifting against the carpet of your office floor as your fingers twitch against your arms, desperate to travel between your thighs and relieve some of the pressure between them. But you were determined to be good for Matty, sure that whatever he planned on giving you after this would be far more rewarding than your own two fingers anyhow. You could wait a little longer. 

“Such a pretty little perfect angel.” Matty coos, his head lolled to the side as he stares down at you, addicted to watching the way his cock was disappearing down your throat. “Miss employee of the month.” Matty teases and you could feel the blush creeping up your neck as his words wash over you. “What would Thomas think if he could see you right now, hm?” Matty curls his fingers tighter in your hair. “His gold star girl on her knees for me.” Matty voices through gritted teeth, delivering a particularly hard thrust down your throat to emphasize his point. “Begging Daddy to fuck her throat.”

And Christ, you nearly fall apart untouched right then and there. The title was rarely used between the two of you, but it was even more rare falling from his tongue. You felt dizzy as it played on a loop in your mind, shameless as you grind down against nothing. A pitiful whine ripped from your throat and melted against Matty’s cock that had finally found an unrelenting, bruising rhythm that sprung tears to your eyes. 

“I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Matty hisses at the feeling of you swallowing around him, a poor attempt to stop the spit that was already spilling from the corners of your mouth. “If I put you on your knees and made you give everyone around the office a little show, let them see what kind of trouble you get yourself into when you’re supposed to be working.”

And if Matty was showing any shred of mercy, you would have pulled off to shoot a bratty comment about how he was always the one knocking on your door, not the other way around. But you were rather helpless right now, succumbed to nothing but a vessel for Matty to use for his own pleasure so you couldn’t do much more than moan at the idea, clenching and grinding down against nothing as the fantasy rolled through you, you couldn’t help but feel desperate for the idea. 

Because maybe, just maybe, if everyone saw you on your knees for the older man, they’d assume that you belonged to him. 

And that’s all you ever wanted, to be his.

“You ever wear these fucking glasses up here again and I will.” Matty threatens through a jaw clenched as tightly as his fingers in your hair, completely unaware of the fact that he was only threatening you with a good time. The glasses on your nose falling further and further down the bridge of your nose with each passing thrust down your throat. “I’ll put you on your knees and show them all who you fucking belong to.”

You couldn’t help but whine around his cock that was bruising the back of your throat, his filthy words catching you so off guard that you nearly gagged, quick to remove your arms from behind your back in favor of resting your hands on his thighs in case you needed to tap out as Matty plants his feet on the ground next to your thighs to give himself more of a leverage to fuck up into your mouth deeper, harder, rougher. 

You squeeze your eyes shut tightly, briefly, enough to allow the tears that had collected in them to fall so you could look up at him more clearly now. You meet his gaze almost immediately and Matty is quick to groan at the sight of you, sure to look as fucked out as you felt right now. Teary eyed, mascara running beneath your eyelids, lips swollen and covered in a mix of spit and precum as the sound of Matty fucking your throat harmonizes with the taxis and street performers forty feet beneath the two of you. 

Locals on the way to a bar, tourists on their way to Times Square, anyone that could look up at the office building above them and see yours because it’s the only one with the light on still on and have absolutely no idea that you had tears streaming down your face due to the way Matty’s cock was abusing your throat. 

And that's why you didn’t mind being the only twenty five year old in Manhattan who volunteers to work over on a Wednesday night instead of going out to a bar to down green tea shots with her friends because why would you settle for decent sex when all it took to get it mind blowing was to wear a pair of nerdy glasses?

“Christ, look at you.” Matty groans, choked off and desperate as your office chair creaks beneath his powerful thrusts. “God, you’re so fucking pretty like this, baby.” Matty sighs, his dark eyes fluttering slightly as his fingers curl against your scalp from the pleasure your mouth was providing. “The prettiest girl.”

You squeeze your eyes shut tightly once more, allowing more tears to fall down your cheeks, unsure now if it was due to Matty’s abuse to your throat or to your heart. If he truly thought you were the prettiest girl then why was he still dating-

“Fuck, I-I’m so fucking close, baby.” Matty stutters and his hips follow suit, a sure sign that he was in fact about to fall apart. “I-I’m so- fuck, I’m s-so- baby.” 

Matty whines, his back arching slightly off of your office chair as he nears closer and closer to the edge. You couldn’t help but hum around him, the vibration sure to barrel him closer. You stare up at the older man and watch the way his face screws in pleasure, the way his covered chest rises and falls in a quick tandem as he fights through pants to catch his breath, watch the way his mouth falls open in a long drawn out moan that has you mentally preparing for what was to come. Literally. 

This was always your favorite part, watching him fall apart because of you. Feeling him shoot down your throat and savoring the taste of him because this was the closest you’d ever get to what you truly wanted. Matty was always quick to pull out of you at the last second when he had you bent over, but when you were on your knees between his thighs, he never dreamed of it.

So you couldn’t even describe the whine that was ripped from your throat when Matty delivered one last powerful thrust before using the leverage he had with his fingers wrapped in your hair to pull you off of him. 

You were panting, pouting, gobsmacked that Matty could be so cruel and rip away the chance for you to indulge in him. You couldn’t help but shamelessly try and break free from the tight confinements of his hands still holding your hair in a makeshift ponytail, only to whimper from the pain of Matty pulling you back with more force this time, your eyes brimmed with a fresh batch of tears as you stare up at him in bewilderment. 

“What are you doing?” You were shocked to hear the sound of your own voice. 

Whiny, raspy, sore. Sure to be from the abuse your throat had just endured. Matty groans at the sound of it, his cock twitching between the two of you and making you all the more desperate to lean down and take him back in your mouth but he wasn’t even entertaining the idea of it.

“Fuck.” Matty groans, dropping your hair in favor of swiping his thumb across your wet cheek while his other hand trails between his legs and grabs ahold of his base. “I want-” Matty starts and quickly cuts himself off to moan when he slowly starts to pump himself, his thumb swiping over the tip, you were mesmerized at the sight. Matty clears his throat, starting over. “I know you love to swallow me, baby, but I wanna cum all over that pretty face of yours.” Matty groans, choked off and desperate as he practically pleads. “Please let me.”

And who were you to argue with that?

You couldn’t even find the words to speak, only able to nod enthusiastically as you shift on your knees and straighten your back, pulling your eyes away from the spectacle of his hand pumping himself to meet his own gaze and nearly gasping at the heat behind them. 

You push your glasses up the bridge of your nose one last time before slowly opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out in a way that had Matty’s head falling back in a deep groan as his own hand started to pump himself faster at the sight. 

“Fuck.” Matty groans, his own fist flying over his cock in desperation as he chases his high, speaking through gritted teeth. “Such a dirty girl, I’m gonna make you as filthy as you are, baby.”

You couldn’t help but moan, your thighs clenching as your heart races, stuck in a loop of watching Matty’s face crumble as he neared closer and closer to the edge and watching his hand that was bringing him closer and closer to his inevitable high. 

“Please.” You beg through a raspy voice, batting your eyelashes at him through the frames and that was all Matty needed to fall apart. 

He lasts one, two, three more pumps before his face is crumbling, his back is arching off of your office chair and his head is thrown back in a long, drawn out moan as his orgasm crashes into you. 

Thick, hot ropes of cum shoot over your entire face and the suddenness makes you jump, your eyes squeezing shut in an attempt to protect them even though the glasses served as enough of a barrier. Matty continues to pump himself while he paints himself above your eyebrow, across your nose, completely over your black rimmed frames and barely any on your tongue - making it clear where he was aiming for. 

“Oh my fucking god.” Matty whines, his body still convulsing in your office chair, you could hear it in the way it creaks through his endless moans as he pumps out what was left of his load onto your face. Your tongue and chin catch most of it now, the strips too weak to reach the same height as before. “Fuck.”

When you hear Matty grow lax against your office chair, you finally open your eyes, slowly just in case any cum was threatening to drip into them. You blink a few times to ensure your safety before smiling softly and opening your eyes wider now, ready to take in the sight of the older man only to be blocked by his load painted over the glass part of your frames. 

Your smile quickly turns into a pout and Matty can’t help but laugh softly, breathlessly at the sight. 

“Here.” He sighs, shifting in your office chair enough so he could lean forward and carefully pull your glasses up on your face to rest in your hair, his eyes still glued to the frames as his still chest heaves through breathless pants, the corner of his mouth twitching up as he teases. “I quite like these.”

You snort, slapping his thigh softly as you shake your head just as much. “Yeah, I can tell.”

You roll your eyes softly, shifting on your office floor between his legs as your desire drips between your thighs and his drips down your face. You flinch softly when some of it drips down from your eyebrow and onto your uncovered lashes. 

“Fuck, look at you.” His cock twitches between the two of you as his dark eyes scan over the entirety of your face, swallowing thickly as he reaches out to collect some of the cum that had dripped down onto your cheek. “You look so fucking pretty covered in my cum, baby.”

You couldn’t help but preen, quick to pull Matty’s cum covered thumb into your mouth greedily and shamelessly savoring the taste as you swirl your tongue and moan around it, feeling rather dizzy when his thumb presses cruelly down on your tongue. 

“Fuck, I can’t look at you anymore, Jesus.” Matty chuckles softly, shaking his head, his curls with it. You couldn’t help but pout as Matty pulled his thumb from between your swollen lips, surely a visionary that he kept his promise of not soaking in as he drew his attention to tucking himself back into his boxers.

You couldn’t help but shift on your knees, your eyebrows pulled together as you watched the older man zip his slacks back up, dread blooming in your stomach at the thought that maybe you had done something wrong and he really was going to leave you here with nothing. 

“Oh, don’t pout at me.” Matty teases, securing his belt back through the metal clasp and fixing you with a pointed look that had the crease between your eyebrows softening slightly. “I’ll give you what you want, sweetheart. You’ve just got to give me a minute to catch my breath.” He chuckles softly and the corner of your mouth twitches slightly. “Let me go smoke and then I promise to fuck you how you deserve.”

And you couldn’t help but smile at that, biting your bottom lip in a poor attempt to not let it shine as brightly as your eyes surely were up at him, desperate to draw some attention away from the hearts circling around your head as you dig your fingernails softly into his thigh and tease.

“Yeah? You need time to rest before going another round, old man?” You tease through a giggle as Matty fixes you with an unimpressed look. You sigh to add to the dramatic antics of it all. “I guess that whole better stamina thing really was just a myth.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Matty’s knee knocks against your shoulder as his dark eyes roll playfully. “You always get real cute after you get what you want, you know that?” Matty raises a thick eyebrow and you can’t help but shrug. “Don’t forget that I already have an orgasm under my belt, I’m totally fine taking me and my stamina home.”  

And while you know he was only joking, you couldn’t help but feel rather sick at the thought of him going home to her. You roll your eyes softly to deflect from the pain flashing through them. Matty must have felt the shift in the air because he’s quick to knock his knee against your shoulder once more, drawing your eyes back up to meet his own that gleamed brightly down at you and only fed into your delusions. 

“I’ll be quick, yeah?” He promises, nodding softly as his eyes scan over your face, the corners of his mouth twitching up as he teased. “It’ll do you good to learn some patience.” 

And you can’t help but roll your eyes with a little more fire behind them this time around. Matty chuckles at the sight, his dark eyes relishing in the sight of your face painted with him one last time as he raises a thick eyebrow and he runs a hand through his hair.

“But maybe you should clean your face up a little first.” He nods, clearing his throat. “Don’t know how long I would last staring at you like this, to be honest.”

You giggle, a light flush washing over your cheeks as you hold onto Matty’s thighs for support and slowly start to lift yourself off of the ground, standing on wobbly legs that popped and ached as the blood rushes back down to them. Matty gasps, full of dramatic flair. “Who’s old now?”

“You, still.” You shoot back, rolling your eyes softly as you hold onto his shoulders now for support as the feeling comes back to your legs. You stare down at him and try to ignore the way his eyes gleamed as they look back up at you, rolling them one last time before you tease. “I’m giving you ten minutes.” You warn. “If you’re not back, I’m starting without you.”

“Yes ma’am.” Matty smiles easily and your stomach flips at the sight. You desperately needed to put some space between the two of you before you stupidly confessed something you had never admitted out loud before. 

You turn to walk away and gasp at the feeling of Matty grabbing your wrist and pulling you back towards him, you nearly tumble into his lap from the force of it all and catch yourself at the last second on his shoulder, bent over and face to face with him. Your heart racing and nearly beating out of your chest at the feeling of him leaning in to kiss your cheek softly. 

“That’s for being so pretty.” He mumbles against the skin there and before you could even allow the butterflies to form, Matty’s sticking his tongue out and licking a thick strip up the side of your face, collecting some of his own cum on the way and resulting in a yelp falling from your tongue. Matty pulls back with a menacing smile on his face, licking his lips as if he was savoring his own taste before he says. “And that’s for calling me old.”

You stare down at him with a racing heart, sure now that the hearts floating around your head were trapped in your eyes now as you desperately fight off a smile and shake your head softly. “You’re disgusting.”

“And running out of time.” Matty gasps, looking down at the watch that wasn’t even on his wrist as he stands up from your office chair and you don’t even bother taking a step back as he stands up and towers over you, nearly ready to risk it all as he smiles down at you. “You’re cutting into my smoke break, the missus told me I only had ten minutes.”

You couldn’t help but sound as breathless as you felt as you replied. “Well, you don’t want to keep her waiting.”

Matty smirks. “Never.”

You could feel his breath fanning over your lips and for a split second his dark eyes betray him and fall down to stare at them before he’s gone, walking out of your office and leaving nothing behind but the smell of his cologne and the warmth from his body that lingered against his own. 

You felt frozen in place, thoughts whirring in your mind that did absolutely nothing to calm the racing of your heart and had you feeling as though you needed to splash cold water on your face before you went too far down the rabbit hole of delusion. And as you felt Matty’s cum drying on your face, you couldn’t help but grimace and snap out of your daydream in a quick search for the closest bathroom. 

And it didn’t take long for you to find it. Honestly, you could have found it with your eyes closed, having walked the path so many times to meet Matty in there when the coast was clear. 

You took one look at yourself in the mirror and your stomach swirled with an all too familiar heat that settled in your core. You looked as messy as you felt, lines of mascara staining your cheeks that made the ropes of cum stand out even more against your flushed face, your hair tangled from all of Matty’s tugging and pulling. 

You couldn’t help but blush looking at yourself, feeling rather proud and able to understand why Matty couldn’t look at you much more than he did, you’d never felt so filthy. 

One thought about what Matty might do to you when he returns from his smoke break had you quickly grabbing paper towels from the dispenser and turning the water on so you could clean yourself up, more than excited to see what he had in store for you.

As you ran the wet paper towels over your face, you couldn’t help but wonder if Matty was sucking his cigarette down as quickly as you were cleaning yourself up, if he was as desperate to get his hands on you. 

The thought plagued your mind up until you were leaning over the sink, turning your face at every angle to ensure you had wiped away all the smudged mascara under your eyes, smiling softly when you saw that you hadn’t left a trace behind. 

Or so you thought.  

You glance up and flush when you realize you had completely forgotten about your glasses that Matty had set on top of your head, quick to grab them and blushing down to your roots as you run the frames under the faucet, silently praying that they weren’t ruined. 

It took three separate tries for them to be fully cleaned, placing them in front of your eyes after each attempt and sighing when they needed more attention. You couldn’t help but smile brightly as you set them back on your nose, taking in the sight of your face that was fresh and clean in total contrast to how the rest of your body felt, dirty and messy.

You gave yourself a final once over, running your fingers through your tangled hair to try and quickly tame it before deeming it useless, sure that Matty would only tangle it more here soon. And with that, you turned the light off and exited the bathroom on a one track mind back to your office where you could only hope Matty was already waiting for you. 

You had just turned the corner down the hallway that was home to your office and your eyes were immediately drawn to the door across from your own. Maybe it was just instinct, some gravitational pull and nasty habit of always looking over at Matty’s office when you turned the corner. Or maybe it was due to the light shining through the bottom of the door, bright and warm, it glowed in beautiful contrast with the dark corridor you were walking down. 

Your eyebrows pulled together in curiosity, trying to recall your conversation with Matty before he left to smoke, had he told you to meet back up in his office? Surely he had, you were the only two people in the building, it had to be him. It must have just slipped your mind in all the tension and anticipation coursing through your veins. 

You glance down at your body, pulling your blouse down just a smidge further to ensure that your tits were sitting pretty before pushing your glasses up on your nose one final time and turning the doorknob to his office, ready to face the older man and completely shocked by what you discover instead.

“Hey, sorry I was- oh my god, Farrah!” The two of you nearly shriek in unison, clear that neither was expecting the other. You’re quick to cover your eyes and turn around to try and shield yourself from the image that was already burned in your mind. “I-I’m so sorry.”

The blonde was leaned back in Matty’s office chair with a sultry smile spread over her pretty glossed lips, her heel clad feet crossed and resting against his desk. She had her arms through the blazer he had forgotten in his office earlier that day, the article swallowing the girls frame yet spread open in a way to display the purple lingerie that perfectly accentuated every curve of her body.

You only saw Farrah for a split second but it was enough to make you feel nauseous, the lingerie burning behind your eyelids that you still had squeezed tightly shut even though your hand was over your eyes and you were still turned away from her, taking extra measures to not risk catching sight of the purple lace again. 

Purple. 

You couldn’t help but dwell on the color of the lacy set, the phone call you had shared with Matty weeks ago replaying in your mind and making you feel rather dizzy. It was the same shade as the blouse he had requested you to wear when you made your return from the dead, same color as the thong he pulled to the side as soon as he got you alone that day and oh god, you were about to be sick all over the floor of his office.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t know you were up here.” Farrah stutters her way through her words, you could hear her shifting around behind you and you could only assume she was adjusting herself to be more decent. “Matty didn’t mention you when he told me he’d be working late tonight. I-I thought he’d be alone. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

You nod quickly, trying to shake the sound of her saying the older man's name from your mind as you stay facing the wall and shielding your eyes in a way that was surely only making the blonde feel more embarrassed. 

“Yeah, I um- Thomas asked me to stay over and help him at the last minute.” The lie spilling from your tongue so naturally that you couldn’t help but be impressed with yourself, you’ve gotten quite good at this. 

“I-I haven’t spoken to him since his lunch break, that’s my bad.” You could hear the guilt in Farrah’s tone and it only made your stomach roll more, you should be the one feeling guilty right now, not her. “You can um-” You hear Farrah shift one last time, clearing her throat before starting over. “You can turn around now.”

“Oh, o-okay.” Unsure of how to turn her down, taking a deep breath and bracing yourself before slowly turning around to face the blonde, your suspicions are proven right when you see her legs no longer up on his desk and the blazer pulled tightly over her frame to cover the lingerie hidden beneath it. “I’m really sorry for just barging in here like that, if I had known, I-”

“Please don't apologize, this is my fault.” Farrah sighs, her cheeks flushed out of embarrassment and white knuckling the blazer folded over herself. “I-I shouldn't even be here right now.” She sighs, her head popping up quickly and her eyes widened in a panicked state. “You won’t tell Trevor about this right? I-I don’t want to get Matty in trouble with his boss.”

“Thomas.” You softly correct, nodding as you cross your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling exposed now that her blue eyes were on you. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him about it.” 

You offer a barely there smile that Farrah looks relieved to receive. 

“Thanks.” She nearly huffs out of relief and you offer a barely there smile in return. “I know I shouldn’t be bothering him while he’s at work it’s just..” The blonde trails off, making your heart race out of fear that she was about to provide details you had no interest in hearing. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You assure, waving her off, not wanting to embarrass the blonde anymore than she already was. You shift on your feet under her gaze, your mind whirling with the possibility that maybe Farrah had been across the hall the entire time, maybe she had heard everything. You were opening your mouth before you could even think about asking, “How um- How long have you been here?”

You try to come off as casual though your voice is a little too tight, you could only hope that Farrah wouldn’t notice, you shoot another soft smile at the blonde for extra insurance.

“Not long. I haven’t-” Farrah cuts herself off to hiccup. “I haven’t been here long.” The blonde shakes her head. “I actually got lost on the way up, went to the wrong floor and everything.” She giggles, covering her mouth with her hand. “I was very confused.”

You felt a wave of relief wash over you because not only was the blonde clueless to what had happened across the hall not even twenty minutes ago, but also because now that your nerves weren’t so shot you could properly take in the state Farrah was in and it didn’t take you long to determine, “You’re drunk.”

“Tipsy.” Farrah is quick to correct, holding up her pointer finger with a playful gleam in her eye as another giggle tumbles from her freshly glossed lips. You couldn’t help but wonder if the berry color beneath the shine was due to a lip stain or wine. “I-I only had two glasses.”

Farrah winks and holds up four fingers, making you wonder how drunk the blonde actually was. 

“Ugh, don’t look at me like that.” Farrah groans, resting her elbows on Matty’s desk and throwing her head into her hands. “This isn’t normally like me, okay? I-I don’t even drink.” Farrah hesitates. “Usually.” She tacks on and you can’t help but huff out a breathy laugh at her antics. “I just-” She sighs, long and winded, lifting her head back up so she could face you, tossing her hands down in a defeated manner as she explains. “I needed the liquid courage, I guess.”

You should have known that asking questions would only open doors that you wanted to remain closed and locked, but you couldn’t help the curiosity that rolled out of you quicker than you could stop. “For what?”

“For this!” Farrah exasperates, nearly laughing. “All of this.” She waves her arms in front of her body and you could only assume she was referring to the lingerie hidden beneath Matty’s blazer. “For thinking that this was a good idea.” The blonde scoffs, her eyes full of defeat as she speaks in a softer tone now. “God, I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.” You’re quick to defend, unsure of why you even felt the need to comfort the girl that was standing in the way of you getting what you wanted.

“I am.” Farrah sighs, shaking her head softly. “I just thought that if I-I did some grand gesture and went out of my comfort zone to- you know, spice things up with him a bit that maybe he’d,” she pauses, swallowing thickly, breaking eye contact with you as she quietly admits. “want me again.”

You couldn’t help the way your eyes widen as her words hit you like a freight train, making it clear to you that you should’ve gotten out of here when you still had the chance because you had clearly gotten yourself wrapped up in a conversation you’d rather die than have right now.

“And I know what you’re going to say,” Farrah points, lifting her voice in a higher pitch as if she was mimicking your own. “Oh my god, Farrah, you’re so hot! How could he not want you?” And oh, Farrah was more drunk than you thought. “And to that I say, exactly!” She exasperates, wide eyed and as shocked as you felt listening to her right now. “But he doesn’t!”

You finally find a voice to speak, desperate to get yourself out of this situation before you heard too much information, but Farrah is quick to talk over you. “I really don’t think I should-”

“We used to be so good together.” Farrah interrupts. “So, so good.” She emphasizes and you fight to not picture how good they really used to be. “But now i-it’s like he wants nothing to do with me and I don’t understand why!” She sighs, defeated. “I-I don’t know what I did o-or what changed but I swear to God, he wants nothing to do with me anymore.”

She looks to you as if you had all the answers, completely oblivious to the way that you in fact were the reason for all of this. 

“We haven’t-” Farrah starts yet cuts quickly cuts herself off to find the right wording, scratching the top of her head as she filters through her drunken mind and you could do nothing but stand there frozen in place and brace yourself for where she was going with this. “I-it’s been months.” Is what she finally lands on. “God, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.” Farrah groans, scrubbing her face with her hands. “It’s just- he’s never been like this before.” She exclaims. “I-I mean he used to be literally obsessed with me.” 

And you desperately try to interject before she provides you with any more details of their sex life that you couldn’t bear to hear, imagining it on your own was bad enough, you didn’t need exact scenarios burned behind your eyelids. “Farrah-”

“But now it’s like h-he won’t even touch me with a twenty foot pole.” She laughs pitifully and you can only hope that you don’t look as happy as you felt hearing that. 

This entire time you’ve been wondering what filthy things Matty did to Farrah when he went home to her and now you’re hearing that he hasn’t been doing anything. You felt on top of the world and Farrah felt beneath it. 

“And I know.” She rolls her beautiful blue eyes, shaking her head softly. “I know that he’s busy and working, he doesn’t have much time for me anymore it’s just that-” She cuts herself off, growing more and more frustrated the more that she talks, her hands tightening ever so slightly as she voices. “At his old job, he made time for me, you know?” She stares at you with eyes that grow a little teary and you couldn’t help but be ashamed by the internal celebration you were having at her expense. “He never let his job come between us and now it’s like he lives up here.” 

She laughs bitterly and your stomach drops, your heart starts to race against your ribcage as you watch the wheels start to turn in her head. 

“I mean, h-he’s always working late.” She explains as if you didn’t already know. “Constantly.” She seethes, her blue eyes squinting slightly. “I-it’s like he’s at this fucking office more than he’s at home a-and I-” Her words get all bottled up inside of her as her eyes brim with more tears, her head shaking ever so slightly until she can’t take it anymore and the question she’s been dying to ask finally bursts out of her. “Do you think he’s cheating on me?”

You freeze, your heart plummeting down to your feet, feeling as though your legs had been kicked out from underneath you as you force out a choked, strained laugh. “What?”

“God.” Farrah groans. “I know I sound fucking crazy it’s just-” She hesitates and you hold your breath in the beat of silence. “I just have this gut feeling and-” She shakes her head, deep in thought and you couldn’t be more grateful for the alcohol coursing through her veins or else she might Nancy Drew her way into finally figuring the two of you out. “Can I be honest with you?”

You swallow thickly, too scared to speak out of fear of spilling your guts all over his office floor. You nod. “Mhm.”

“I was terrified that I was gonna come into his office and catch him nailing some bitch over his desk.” Farrah laughs as if the thought was ridiculous, as if you and Matty hadn’t wrapped up just in time. “God, I cannot tell you how relieved I am to know that it’s you staying late with him and not Maeve.” Farrah rolls her blue eyes with nothing but annoyance behind them. “You know, I caught her making eyes at him from across the room and the Christmas party and I’ve had her on my radar ever since.”

And while you should have been grateful that Farrah had no inkling that you, in fact, were the bitch Matty was railing, you couldn’t take her words as anything but a slap to the face. 

It felt as if Farrah wasn’t threatened by you, as though she would never dream of Matty being taking any interest in you, that she looked at you as nothing more than some fresh out of college child that she didn’t have to think twice about. It infuriated you. She wasn’t intimidated by you at all when you were the girl Matty was fucking, not Maeve. 

How was she able to notice that girl making eyes at Matty from across the room at the Christmas party and yet was completely oblivious to the way Matty’s eyes seemed glued to your legs the entire night, the way the punch he was sipping practically drooled from his mouth when you first walked in, the way his eyes glared at you for flirting with Luke as a punishment for even bringing her to the party in the first place. 

Farrah should be slapping you right now, not confiding in you. She should feel threatened, intimidated, angry that she caught Matty here alone with you. Not happy. 

It made you want to tell her everything, to spill your guts and hike your skirt up so she could see the fading bruises Matty had left behind a few days ago when he laid you out in the very chair she was sitting in now and devoured you until you were begging him to stop. It made you want to apologize for how hoarse your voice was because Matty had just fucked your throat raw less than twenty minutes ago. It made you want to grab her face and pull her in for a filthy kiss just so she could taste Matty’s cum on your tongue.

You were seconds away from allowing your anger to boil over and spill everything out on Matty’s office floor, your eye practically twitching as you stare at the blonde in front of you who just smiled innocently, obliviously back at you in return.  

“Actually, I-”

“Okay, I’m sorry that I’m two minutes late, please don't punis- oh my god, Farrah.” Matty steps into his office behind you, nearly knocking into you when he freezes out of shock for the sight before him. 

You could practically feel his body grow rigged behind you as he stares at his girlfriend wrapped up in his blazer and sitting at his desk. You didn’t even have to look back at him to know his eyes were wide, his face pale, sure that his heart was pounding out of fear of being caught. 

“W-What are you doing here?” You could hear the masked panic in his voice, your heart crumbling beneath you when he takes a small step back to put some distance between the two of you. “Are you drunk?”

Farrah opens and closes her mouth repeatedly as she fights to find an answer for him, panic growing behind her eyes when she doesn’t find one and quick to look towards you for some help or guidance and you used what little restraint you had left to not roll your eyes.

“I should go.” You spoke softly, quick to shut your mouth before you word vomited all over his office floor, thankful that Matty had walked into the room and stopped you from doing it already. 

You turn on your heels and are immediately met with the sight of Matty’s chest and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes softly before glancing up at him. The air between the two of you is full of a completely different energy than it had been twelve minutes ago when he first left to go smoke, what you would give to go back in time. 

Matty stares down at you with eyes full of so many emotions that you couldn’t pinpoint just one, the wheels clearly turning in his head as he fought to find something, anything to say to you that wouldn't be too incriminating in front of his girlfriend who was only a few feet away. 

You only give him one more beat to speak before you turn to walk away, not even making it a full step before Matty is calling out. 

“Wait!” His voice trembled with a panic that you hoped Farrah was too drunk to take note of. You freeze and turn back towards him slowly, glaring up at him with a pointed look that begged him not to say something stupid. He swallows thickly. “W-We didn’t finish.”

And you couldn’t help but snort softly at his ability to only care about sex even in a situation like this. You shoot him a fake, forced smile, hoping he’d pick up on the hidden meaning when you shoot back. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I can finish it all on my own.” Matty’s face falls and you fight to not roll your eyes at the sight. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” You nod, desperately needing to get out of here. You turn to shoot Farrah a smile just as forced as the one you gave Matty, even throwing in a quick wink before you sarcastically enthuse. “You two have fun!”

And then you were walking away from your own personal hell before anyone could stop you this time, waiting until you were rounding the corner of the corridor at least before you allowed the tears to brim at your eyes and counting down the seconds until the elevator doors closed before you let them fall. 

—

You took your time getting ready for work Thursday morning, in no rush like you had been the day before. You didn’t even care if Thomas would be upset with you for being late two days in a row, all you cared about was avoiding him at all costs. 

Something that was proven to be quite difficult as you strolled into work forty seven minutes late, only to open your office door and find Matty already sitting in the chair at your desk, impatiently waiting for you. 

His head pops up immediately at the sound of your door opening, dropping the hand he had held up to his mouth so he could chew on his nails as he anxiously awaited your arrival. You roll your eyes at the sight of him, huffing out of annoyance as you shut your office door with a little too much force, knowing there was no use in trying to get out of the conversation you’ve been dreading all night. 

“Don’t you have work you should be doing?” You say with a nasty bite to your tone, crossing your arms over your chest as you fix him with an unimpressed glare. 

“I am so fucking sorry about last night.” Matty ignores your attitude in favor of standing up and making his way over to you, his eyes full of an emotion you couldn’t quite read as the apology spills off of his tongue. “I-I had no idea she was gonna come up here, I didn’t ask her to do that.”

“I know.” You glare up at him, you know far more than you should, thanks to Farrah. 

You make an attempt to walk past him but Matty is quick to grab your wrist and stop you from going too far. 

“I didn’t fuck her.” He’s quick to clarify, clearly panicked and desperate for you to believe him. 

You roll your eyes and attempt to pull your wrist from his grasp but he only tightens his hold in return. “I don’t care, Matty.”

“No, I need you to know that I did not fuck her in my office.” Matty pleads, his eyes wide as they scan over your face and soak in the heated glare you’re shooting at him. “I-I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Oh, how kind of you!” The words drip sarcastically from your tongue. “You were a gentleman and took her home first.” You smile, squinting. “I get bent over your desk and Farrah gets fucked in a nice, cozy bed. Thanks for reserving your office just for me.” 

Matty’s face falls as he realizes his poor choice in wording and you capitalize on his guard being down and rip your wrist from his hold, holding your pointer finger out at him in a silent warning to not touch you again when he steps closer to you. 

“No, it’s not like that.” Matty huffs out of frustration, you could see the tired bags under his eyes, clear that he had stayed up mulling over this all night. “I didn’t fuck her at all. I-I haven’t been, not since we started-”

“God, do you even hear yourself right now?” You scoff, rubbing at your temples softly, already feeling a headache coming on. “You don’t get it, that doesn’t matter!” You exclaim. “It doesn’t matter that you didn’t fuck her because you still took her home.” You laugh bitterly. “You took her home, to your apartment that you share. To sleep in your bed, that you share. Y-You’re building a life with this girl, so it doesn't matter if you didn’t fuck her last night or haven’t for the past ten months because at the end of the day, you went home with her and I went home alone.”

Matty stood in front of you dumbfounded and at a loss for words, his eyes full of regret as the wheels turned in his mind for a response to your outburst. It was nearly comical when all he could come up with was, “It’s complicated.”

“Oh, I know it’s complicated, believe me.” You mock through a laugh. “I’ve been hearing about how complicated it is for almost a year now.” You remind him and if you had enough time, you’d stand her and list off all the excuses he gave you anytime you dared to ask. “If it’s so complicated, then maybe we should just give it up.”

Matty freezes, his dark eyes flashing with panic as his thick eyebrows furrow. “What?”

“Aren’t you tired of sneaking around all the time?” You sigh, shaking your head softly. “Aren’t you tired of feeling guilty?”

Matty shakes his head. “I don’t feel guilty.”

And god, wasn’t it just comical at this point. 

“I know you don’t, but I do.” You emphasize by shoving your own finger into your chest, cursing your eyes when they brim with tears. “And it’s eating me alive, I-I can’t do this anymore.” You shake your head softly. “This is a lot of work for just sex when you have plenty of opportunity for that at home.”

You shot the bullet at his chest and you could see his face crumble from the impact, hurt flashing behind his dark orbs as your words swim around in his jumbled mind. 

“It’s not just sex.” Matty argues with a squint in his eye, appalled that you would think so shallowly of him. “Not to me.”

“Yeah, right.” You snort, rolling your eyes and blinking back tears that you didn’t dare let fall. “And where did you sleep last night, hm?”

“On the couch.” Matty replies slowly, a little more bite to his tone as his dark eyes squint a little further at you. “Do you really think I would go through all of this trouble just for some pussy? Because I promise you’re not the only girl in line, sweetheart.” Matty scoffs and you can’t help the way your heart drops at his admission. “God, do you even hear yourself right now?” Matty laughs mockingly, throwing your own words back in your face. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I actually like you?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, excuse me for not picking up on that after the millionth time that you’ve drilled me over your desk.” You scoff. “God, you can’t even look at me when you do it half the time and you really expect me to believe that I’m more than just pussy to you?” You roll your eyes. “You don't like me, you like fucking me.” The words taste bitter falling from your tongue. “There’s a difference.”

“How can I prove it to you?” Matty huffs, frustration and defeat written all over his face. 

“Matty, you don’t know anything about me.” You scoff.

“Yes, I do.” It was his turn to scoff now. “I know that-”

“And my favorite sex position doesn’t count.” You’re quick to cut him off with a smile as snarky as your tone. 

And yeah, okay, maybe you were being a little bit of a bitch, but you were desperate at this point to build up a wall before Matty gave you any false hope that the feelings he was admitting for you were actually real. 

“That’s not what I was going to say.” Matty huffs through a half clenched jaw, clear that his patience with you was running thin. He clears his throat before starting over again. “I know that you always wear your hair up in a clip on Fridays because you can’t be bothered to deal with it by the end of the week.”

He offers and it has little to no effect on you. It was just a simple observation, nothing special. You cross your arms over your chest. “Well, anyone could have noticed that.”

And Matty’s eyes practically gleam as he laughs softly at your stubbornness. 

“I know that you like two and a half creamers in your coffee.” Matty continues, throwing emphasis on the word to ensure that you heard him right. “Not two, not three, like the true princess that you are.” And god dammit, if you didn’t already feel your resolve weakening. “Oh! I know that you always intend to take the A train when you’re leaving work but you usually miss it and end up on the C.” His dark eyes falling down into a quick wink as he teases. “Though, that might be my fault, sorry.”

You have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop the smile from spreading over you face, you refused to give him the satisfaction. 

“Let’s see, what else...” Matty trails off, clicking his tongue as he wracks his brain for more, his eyes practically lighting up when he finally lands on one. “I know that New Year's Eve is your least favorite holiday because you absolutely despise all the tourists that come in to watch the ball drop.” His dark eyes roll playfully. “Proper New Yorker, you are.”

And you couldn’t help but tack on, “Which fucking sucks because-”

You start to say, but Matty interrupts and finishes your own thought himself.

“Because the ball drop is so pretty and you love to watch the fireworks.” Matty steals the words right from your mouth, staring at you with a pointed look as if he dared you to tell him he was wrong, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a smile when you remain silent. “See? I know more about you than your favorite sex position.” 

He throws your own words back in your face and you can’t help but flush from embarrassment for the way you had treated him. 

“Which is doggy, by the way.” He tacks on, a shameless smirk spread over his face when you reach out to smack his chest softly with a roll of your eyes and cheeks that deepened in colors. “And that’s why I fuck you that way so often, not becuase I don’t want to see your face.”

You couldn’t help but feel ashamed, blushing down to your roots as you glance down at your feet, wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole as you quietly apologize. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Matty is quick to shut you down, lifting your chin with his thumb so you’d be forced to look at him again, overwhelmed by how close his face was to your own as he shakes his head softly. “I know that I’ve been a prick lately and I’m sorry for ever making you feel like you meant nothing to me.” 

You can’t help the way your eyes drop slightly, breaking eye contact with him that he immediately chases by moving his head down and back into your line of vision. 

“Hey, look at me.” He speaks softer now, more genuine. “I promise you that I’m going to break up with her.” He nods, his eyes wide and unwavering. “Soon, okay?”

“You always say that.” You say weakly.

“I know.” Matty grimaces. “But I mean it this time.”

You nod slowly, swallowing down your emotions that threatened to boil over as you believe yet another one of Matty’s promises that you could only hope wasn’t empty this time around. 

“Let me make it up to you.” Matty offers, desperate to rid the tears that brimmed your eyes before they fell, he only liked to see you cry when you were underneath him. “Come over this weekend.”

You couldn’t help but laugh wetly, wiping a stray tear that fell from the suddenness of it all. 

“Yeah? And do what? Cuddle with Farrah?” You snort, rolling your eyes softly. “You’re crazy.”

“No.” He chuckles, shaking his head softly at your antics. “She’s going out of town this weekend.” He explains and suddenly your interest is piqued. “I’ll have the place all to myself, maybe you could keep me company.”

He shrugs, taking a step closer to you, his eyes gleaming with a certain temptation that makes your stomach flip.

“Hm, maybe.” You sigh, playing disinterested even though you knew the older man could see right through you. You tilt your head to the side, taking a step back with each one he advances forward. “What’s in it for me?”

“Oh, I was hoping you’d ask.” Matty smirks, walking you backwards until you were pressed against the edge of your desk. 

His hot hands run along the expanse of your thighs until he’s rounding the back of them, quick to lift you and place you on top of forgotten paperwork that Thomas would probably come searching for soon. 

“I could tell you.” Matty offers, nudging your chin to the side so he’d have room to settle into your neck, his mouth making quick work of melting you against the oak of your desk as his calloused fingertips trail beneath your pencil skirt. “But it might be better if I just show you instead.”  

[thenbcsshegoes]

this series gets me sooooooooooo jaksksjsnsksn

[whimsicalpolitical]

i feel like you would write such a good moment of matty treating y/n like she’s dumb but in that condescending teasing way where he’s almost amused ya know? like mockingly pouting back at her when she whines 🤭🤭

thanks so much! 18+ mdni, thigh riding because i loveee

it started at dinner.

you knew you were fucked the second he stepped out of the bedroom. his hair still damp from the shower, a cigarette pinched between his teeth, fitted black trousers and a soft blue polo that clung in all the right places. he hadn’t even done the top button. just left it loose like he didn’t know what that would do to you.

he looked dangerous. smug and golden under the restaurant lights, rings catching on his glass of wine, eyes flicking to yours every time you shifted in your seat. his hand was on your thigh almost as soon as you sat down, warm and heavy under the tablecloth, sliding higher every time you spoke. he had the whole night to watch you squirm.

“you need to behave,” he murmured at one point, voice low enough that only you could hear it, thumb pressing just inside your inner thigh.

your legs were shaking and your panties were embarrassingly soaked and you’d stopped listening to anything the table was talking about.

matty had just smirked, leaned in close to kiss your cheek like he hadn’t just dragged his thumb across the dampest part of your knickers. “pathetic.”

—

and now you’re here.

straddling his thigh in the soft flicker of the living room lamp, skirt bunched around your waist, hands braced on his shoulders. he hasn’t touched you since you got home. not really. just sat down, legs spread, and nodded toward his thigh like it was a throne.

“as needy as you were, you only deserve this,” he’d said, lighting up a cigarette with the same casual air he wore at dinner. “if you’re good, i’ll think about fucking you.”

that was- god, that was ages ago now.

you’ve been grinding slow and steady, chasing it with every shaky roll of your hips. the friction of his trousers is maddening, firm beneath your soaked panties, and every time your clit brushes just right, you gasp like it’s the first time. but you still haven’t tipped over. still clenching and whining and panting through your teeth.

“not very efficient, are you?” he drawls, lips twitching into something cruel and fond as he takes another drag. “been at it how long now?”

you whimper, pressing down harder. “matty.”

he pouts at you. mocking. soft little frown like he’s devastated on your behalf. “what is it, darling? can’t get off without me?”

you shake your head, frustrated tears pricking at your eyes. “i can, it’s just- ugh.”

“i disagree with you. i think i spoil you too much.” his free hand lifts, lazy fingers brushing your flushed cheek. “i always give you what you want. always get you off and now you can’t do it yourself.”

your body jolts again, hips stuttering as you find a better angle- just right, almost perfect. it drags a breathy gasp from your throat and matty grins, all teeth and heat. he leans in closer, cigarette hovering behind your back now.

“there you go. clever girl. took you long enough.”

you can’t answer. you’re already too far gone. hips rolling fast now, small broken moans spilling out between your lips as you grind down hard, thighs trembling.

his voice is a quiet hum beneath you, “making such a mess on my trousers now, look at you.”

but it slips. it slips. just as your muscles start to seize, just as your breath catches in that perfect little inhale, it fades like smoke, like it was never really there. and you let out a noise that’s all frustration and disbelief, dropping your forehead to his shoulder.

“no, no no no-“

matty laughs.

you want to cry.

“oh, baby,” he coos, pulling back to look at you. “you really are pathetic tonight.”

“shut up,” you hiccup, still trying, still grinding, even though your rhythm’s broken now. messy and too fast. it’s not working. it’s never going to work.

“s’not very nice, that.” he blows smoke over your shoulder, tuts softly. “m’bein’ generous. lettin’ you use me like this. and all i get in return is whining?”

you make another little sound, high and broken. he hasn’t touched you properly in hours and you’re aching with it. cunt fluttering uselessly against his thigh, thighs shaking, eyes wet.

matty leans in close, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear. “gonna cry ‘cos you can’t come, darling? is that where we’re at?”

you nod. miserably.

he hums, hands finally finding your hips, holding you down firm as he shifts his leg just a little. enough to make you feel it again.

“tell me what you need.”

“you,” you gasp, falling forward, nose brushing the curve of his throat. “need you, matty, please, i can’t do it without you-“

“no, you can’t,” he says, “s’what i’ve been saying, love.“

you’re still panting against his throat, hips twitching like your body doesn’t know whether to keep going or give up entirely. your lip’s still caught between your teeth trembling now and matty’s got this look in his eye that makes your belly flip.

“please,” you whisper, barely there. “matty, please-“

he hums. not in a way that promises relief, but more like he’s mulling it over. maybe.

“please what, darling?” his thumb traces circles into your hipbone. “what exactly is it you want me to do?”

you whine. slump forward. it’s humiliating how little pride you’ve got left. “help me- just help me, i, please,” you huff the last beg.

matty clicks his tongue softly, and his hands tighten. one at your waist, the other sliding lower, slow and deliberate, fingers pressing into the crease of your thigh. “i’ll help you, then,” he says, “but you are gonna finish what you started.”

and then he shifts his leg, presses you down hard, not enough to hurt, just enough to feel, deep and blunt and perfect. you gasp out loud, hips jerking, the shock of it so good it almost knocks the breath from your lungs.

“there you go,” matty murmurs, lips dragging slow along your jaw as his hands guide you. “just like that. see? not so hard, is it?”

he’s barely moving you, really. just small pushes, coaxing your hips into that same rhythm again. but it’s enough. it’s better than enough. your thighs are shaking already and it’s barely been a minute.

you moan and his smile turns sharp against your cheek.

“keep goin’,” he says, and then his hands fall away.

just like that.

gone.

your body stutters. almost freezes up. like you don’t know how to move without him holding you there. but he doesn’t correct it, doesn’t reach back for you, just leans back into the couch, one arm thrown over the backrest like he’s settling in for a film.

“c’mon, love,” he tuts, watching you with a lazy grin. “don’t give up now.”

you try. you do. force your hips to keep rolling, fists curled in the fabric of his shirt. but it’s not right anymore. you can feel it slipping again, the angle too shallow, the pace off, the ache building without relief.

matty doesn’t miss a thing.

his eyes flicker down to your mouth, and then his thumb is brushing over your bottom lip.

“you’re so cute, baby,” he murmurs, half-laughing. “i absolutely ruined you.”

your breath hitches. you press your cheek into his palm.

“can’t just give you what you want though, can i?” he goes on, “cos that would prove my point.”

“i don’t fucking care about your point,” you snap or try to, but your voice cracks halfway through and it comes out choked. “just- please, please-”

matty laughs. full-body, delighted. you hate him.

“god, i love you like this,” he says, “you sound wrecked. so desperate to come.”

you glare at him, eyes glossy. your thighs are trembling from holding yourself up, and you don’t think you can take much more of the teasing. every nerve in your body is on fire, too close to the edge to even think straight.

matty sees it and finally, finally, he leans forward again.

his hand cups the back of your neck, fingers slipping into your hair as he pulls you in close. “alright,” he whispers, brushing his lips over your ear. “i’ve got you.”

and then his thigh shifts again, a sharp, perfect nudge, and his other hand finds your hips, pulling you down just right. you sob.

“there she is,” he breathes. “good girl. go on. take what you need.”

your hips fall back into it like they never stopped, rutting fast now, sloppier by the second. you’re so close it hurts, moaning into his throat, chasing every inch of pressure.

“fuck, fuck- matty, i’m-”

“you’re so easy. really? that’s all it takes for you?,” he murmurs, stroking down your spine, voice so low it’s almost a growl. “come on my thigh then. make a fucking scene about it.”

you do.

you come with a gasp that rips out of your chest, full-body and overwhelming, shaking and twitching through it while matty holds you down firm, coaxing every last pulse out of you.

when it’s over, you collapse in his lap like you’ve got nothing left. head on his shoulder, lips parted, body limp.

he kisses your temple, smiling.

“there we are,” he says. “finally stopped whining.”

[sugar-coat-it]

Teacher! Matty x Teacher! Reader

After Hours...

helloooo, new AU wow. This is just a cutsey idea I had, idk, I hope you guys like it, I'd be happy to write more for these two. This is just a bit of an introduction to them, it's not too long, sorry!!

Fem! Reader

Contains: Teacher! Matty, secret relationship, making out, a bit of touching/grinding, nearly getting caught, SOOO much flirting and teasing good lord

WC: ~4,500

—---------------------------------------------------

You and Matty are both high school teachers in a secret relationship <3

—---------------------------------------------------

At first, it was surface-level things that had drawn you to your colleague. You liked that he usually wore a button-down shirt and a tie to school, but on some days, it was just a band shirt and a blazer. And you liked that he had a pretentious leather briefcase filled with notebooks for all of his disorganized thoughts and things he needed to remember. That quickly became you realizing how genuine he was in his mission to touch as many of these kids’ lives as possible. To him, the job wasn’t just about teaching English. It was about teaching kids what he wished he’d have known at their age. He wasn’t like the other teachers you’d met since getting a job at this high school. He had a restless energy to him, one that wouldn’t stop until he felt satisfied with the mark he’d left on the world. 

It was hard to pinpoint how it all started. Maybe it was the many lunch breaks you’d taken together, your shared love for literature, or the surprise coffee deliveries to your classroom in the middle of the day. If you had to pick one moment, it was probably when you’d chaperoned a school winter formal together, spending the night making eyes at each other while also ensuring that kids weren’t getting drunk or too handsy under the gymnasium bleachers. You still remember the way he reacted to seeing you in that dress, how he’d delicately fixed the strap of it when it slipped down your shoulder. The way it felt when his fingertips skimmed your bare shoulder, lingering for just a moment, you might as well have been a seventeen-year-old schoolgirl yourself. It was ridiculous the number of times you relived it in your head. Over and over, the memory alone caused your skin to prick with goosebumps. You couldn’t find it in you to be irritated with how distracting your colleague was. 

After that evening, the caffeine-fueled paper grading sessions in his classroom turned into sharing glasses of red wine in his apartment and chatting over music. You didn’t just talk about school or complain about which kids were giving you headaches (but he did love the occasional piece of hot work gossip, even if he pretends not to be that interested). You loved seeing a side of him that none of the other staff or the students got to see. His edges really didn’t appear all that sharp when he’d giggle at your stupid jokes or insist on calling you a cab when the night was through and the reality of school the next day hit you both hard. 

Matty told you all sorts of things when it was just the two of you, when his tie was loosened as well as his lips. You started to learn more about who he was before he became “Mr. Healy”. With how good he is at the job, you were shocked to learn that he’d never planned on being a teacher. Ever. He wanted to be a musician. A rock star, specifically, adored by thousands for his brilliant mind that was now mostly being used for catching plagiarized writing. When the band idea fell apart, along with his dreams of never having to return to school, he had to pick between wasting away delivering Chinese food or begrudgingly doing something with his life. 

“I fucking hated school,” he’d admitted to you bluntly one night, his back to you as he’d carefully flipped a record over on his pricy turntable. And that’s exactly what made him so good at connecting with the slackers and the trouble makers of his classroom. He knew them because he was them at one point in his life. There was no denying that Matty’s students loved him. They loved that he treated them like adults and wasn’t afraid to tell them where things were at. Sometimes, when walking down the hall, you’d linger for a few moments by his classroom door to hear him passionately lecturing, his voice carrying confidently through the room. There wasn’t a peep of side conversation amongst the kids. He had everyone captivated with his theatrics, pacing in front of the chalkboard with his hands gesturing wildly. Maybe he was a born showman after all, even if it wasn’t in the way he’d imagined.

You were a bit jealous of the way he could command his classroom, being a newer teacher yourself, but he was always happy to give you pointers and let you practice your lessons on him for feedback. It was nice to get tips on how not to let the kids totally trample you. According to Matty, they could sniff out a disingenuous person easier than anyone, and the best way to go about it was to just say what you mean. His wisdom was endless, and as were his rambles about the importance of the youth. You didn’t mind though. It was endearing to see a teacher that wasn’t burnt out and jaded yet like so many were.

The way you both felt, how close you were getting, it was risky, unprofessional, reckless, and yet felt far too right for what it was. Getting involved with a colleague that way, you both knew how badly it could go if people started to catch on. But, if anything, you’d say you were actually less productive at your job while having to constantly bite your lip and hide your urges when he was around. Maybe the danger was part of the allure, or perhaps he was just that damn attractive. It was all like an incoming, all-consuming storm that was impossible not to get swept up in. It felt like you were unraveling each other further every time you met outside of school, testing the other's restraint.

Your mind was constantly a mess of thoughts of Matty, some cleaner than others, and he wasn’t faring much better. The way his gaze would rake over you during English department meetings was simply unfair, stealing glances at the way you’d fidget with your pen or twirl your hair. And suddenly, undressing each other with your eyes just wasn’t enough. How much were you willing to risk to know his touch? His kiss? To feel the tattoos that were hidden under his dress shirts like thinly veiled reminders of his past?

You remember how it felt to kiss him for the first time. It was a culmination of every lingering glance, every loud laugh shared on your lunch breaks, every “accidental” brush of hands. It was deep and desperate and raw with roaming hands that tugged on clothes and dug into skin. He kissed better than you could have imagined, his lips slotting against yours like he wanted to devour you. And god help you both if anyone found out what happened directly after that kiss…

That all leads to now, visiting him in his classroom long after the final bell had rung. It was Friday, which meant everyone was desperate to go home and unwind, but Matty was still diligently working his way through a thick stack of papers. You simply watched him from his doorframe for a moment, taking in the way his eyes squinted as he caught a grammatical error on a page. He shook his head, his unruly curls bouncing as he grumbled something to himself before scratching over the page with a red pen. It was hard not to adore him.

“Your hair looks crazy. Have you been teaching all day like that?” you say, arms crossed over your chest.

Matty’s eyes light up just at the sound of your voice, the stress and tension of grading melting away from his features as he looks up at you with a smile. He just shrugs casually, giving a halfhearted attempt to smooth out his thick hair, only to have it bounce back in odd directions.

“Hi. And, yeah, whatever. I think I’ve made it worse by nearly tearing it out over these,” he says, lifting up the stack of paper just to drop it back on his desk with a hefty thud, “If only they’d let me change the curriculum a bit, I’d give them something to read that would actually blow their little minds. I’m sick to fucking death of To Kill a Mockingbird, and so are they.”

“You could give them an extra credit assignment? Make it whatever you want,” you suggest jokingly, causing him to snort and drop his pen in defeat. It clatters on the desk as he shakes out his hand that’s cramped from writing.

“Yeah, good one. But seriously,” he continues, motioning to the scribblings of red pen all over the pages, “This is what you get when kids are uninspired, you know?”

You hum thoughtfully, knowing that he had big dreams of opening up kids’ worlds, showing them what he calls “the real shit”. After shutting the door and locking it (something you were quite used to by now), you push off the doorframe to approach his desk, sitting on the edge of it that wasn’t covered in papers. His eyes flicker over you for a moment, his gaze simmering with interest before forcing himself to look back down. His fingers rhythmically tap on his lap like he was visualizing this new, better syllabus in his mind.

“What would you rather them be reading? Kafka?” you tease. 

Matty rolls his eyes, reaching out to lightly smack your knee for being a smartass. 

“God, no, not Kafka,” he says, “What’re you fidgeting with over there?”

You raise your eyebrows slightly as he easily notices the way your hand is fiddling with something in the pocket of your cardigan. You pull out a small, folded-up piece of paper that was tucked inside, smoothing it out for him to read.

“This was inside the sleeve of my coffee today. Any idea how it got in there?” you ask casually, smiling as he pretends not to recognize his own handwriting. This was not the first little note he’d left for you with your coffee delivery, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“‘Your arse looks great in that skirt’. Hm. Some horny baristas out there, huh?” he says before unabashedly looking at your backside, biting his lip, “They’re not wrong though, are they?”

“Classy,” you quip, “Where’d you get it? It was really good today.”

He shakes his head, leaning back in his chair comfortably. How did he always look so effortlessly cool? 

“I’m not telling you that.”

“Why?” 

“Because then you wouldn’t need me to get you coffee anymore, would you?”

You shake your head softly with a huff, crossing one leg over the other as the slightly crude note sat on his desk, signed “Westley” with a heart. It was a silly, secret code you’d come up with while tipsy and bonding over a childhood love for the book, The Princess Bride. Of course, you were Buttercup. You’d both started doing it as a joke, but maybe you’d grown more attached to it than you wanted to admit.

“Why would I fire my favorite delivery boy?”

“I’m your only delivery boy, thank you very much,” Matty states proudly, placing his hand on your thigh as he looks over his mess of a desk. Absentmindedly, his thumb rubs back and forth over your skin, awakening some familiar, warm feelings in you.

“I need a break,” he admits with a sigh, running his free hand over his weary face while his leg bounces relentlessly under his desk, “My brain is melting out my ears.”

You watch as he glances around the room and towards the door, making sure it’s closed and locked before his restless gaze lands on you again. His expression is a bit wild. He got like that when he’d been doing the same thing for too long.

“C’mere,” he whispers, beckoning you with a pat of his lap. He needs you close, your presence like a much-needed reset for his overworked mind. You quieted the noise for him like nothing else did. 

You didn’t have to be asked twice. You slowly slid off the desk and onto his lap, sitting sideways across his legs. His hands guided you by your waist to sit comfortably. Matty sighed deeply, letting out a prolonged breath of relief through his nose. He allowed himself to slump forward slightly, his shoulders sagging as he rested his forehead against your neck. The scent of you, mixed with your perfume, somehow always lulled him into a state of surrender. A shiver crawls down his spine as he remains that way, breathing you in with his hands firmly at your waist. 

“Working too hard?” you murmur, reaching to gently rub one of his temples, listening to the sound of his slow breathing.

A grumbled “Mm…” is all you get in response. Matty begins to leave a series of tender kisses along your neck, gently pushing your hair out of the way to make more room for his lips to trail over your skin. Your lashes flutter for a moment with pleasure, enjoying how naturally sensual he could be.

“Tell me about your day. I’ve just been complainin’,” he says softly, his voice low and gravelly near your ear as he rubs small circles over your hip bones with his thumbs.

“Mm. Was alright. I still feel like I don’t have my stern teacher voice down yet,” you smile sheepishly, closing your eyes as your head slowly lolls to the side.

He huffs out a laugh that tickles the sensitive skin of your neck. It makes your chin dip down, a grin breaking out on your face.

“I dunno what you mean. You can be very scary, babe.”

You weren’t so sure. Maybe it was just in your head, but you felt like whenever you used a harsher tone, it came across as false, too forced. Your dislike for conflict always seemed to seep through in the waver of your voice. If you didn’t believe that you could be in charge, how would your students?

“Let me hear yours.”

“What, now?” he chuckles, his lips pulling into a smirk.

You nod, letting your fingers run through his dark curls. Matty clears his throat dramatically, as if preparing to deliver a rousing speech. His voice drops an octave when he speaks, coming out cold and authoritative in your ear in a way that makes your heart stutter and your face feel hot. 

“Detention. Now.”

He played the part well, but just as quickly ruined the image by grinning like an idiot and kissing the side of your head. You can’t help but laugh as he turned from Mr. Healy to your dork boyfriend Matty right before your eyes.

“Ohh, wow,” you tease, playing up your reaction with a hand over your heart, “I’m scared.”

“Yeah, you should be, miss,” he says, reaching to grab a handful of your ass through your skirt. When you were alone this way, he couldn’t seem to stand not touching you. But, there was even the rare occasion where you’d feel a hand on your leg under the table at a department meeting. 

Matty’s eyebrow quirks as he notices a sparkle in your eyes, knowing that you’re about to suggest something less than school-appropriate. He narrows his eyes at you, a smirk playing at his lips. 

“You should tell me to get on your desk next,” you request coyly, fluttering your lashes at him.

“Oh, should I?” he chuckles lowly, smiling as he leans in to briefly kiss you, the second of contact making butterflies erupt in your stomach.

He just looks at you for a moment, his eyes soft and fond as they flicker over your face. It always feels like time has slowed down entirely when he looks at you that way, each second dragging on longer than the last. He cocks his head towards his desk.

“Go on then, hop up. Or, erm…” he pauses, clearing his throat to attempt his stern teacher voice again, “Get on the desk, you delinquent.” It’s not as effective when he’s trying to stifle a smile, and his voice quavers with amusement. 

“Stop!” you chuckle as he leans in to nip your jaw with his teeth playfully.

With a light smack to your backside, you were up off his lap and onto his desk, a few items rattling as you quickly settled in. Matty shoves the pile of unmarked papers aside, caging you in with his arms as he stands up from his chair. There’s a wickedness in his expression that peeks through the exhaustion, a gleam in his dark eyes that wasn’t entirely stifled by the stacks of lackluster writing. You hum softly as he begins to lean in, closer and closer, until his warm breath fans across your lips. Your hands knot into his hair, feeling the dark, soft tresses between your fingers. He just smiles, knowing the effect he has on you.

“Quit drooling,” he mutters, his eyes darting over your face restlessly as he drags the tip of his index finger down your lips.

“I’m not,” you whisper, amusement tugging at the corners of your mouth, “Tease.”

Matty lets out a raspy chuckle before grasping your jaw, tilting his head to press his lips to yours. Instantly, you’re drawing him closer by putting your legs around his waist, drawing his lanky body in until he’s flush against you. One of his hands stays on your jaw while the other moves to your hip. You inhale him deeply as your lips slot together, the woody scent of his cologne only dizzying you further. A warm, tingling sensation floods through you as his fingertips just barely break the barrier of the hem on your shirt. God, what a thrill. 

“Your hands are cold,” you complain, jumping slightly as his icy fingers spread out against your side. 

“Yeah? Warm them up then,” Matty replies huskily against your lips, his hand only sliding further up your shirt, grazing over your ribs now.

He relishes the shiver that skitters through you, bringing you impossibly closer as he kisses you senseless. By the time he breaks the lip lock to press hasty kisses to your neck, you’re both panting softly. Your head lolls backward, your hair spilling over your shoulders as Matty lovingly assaults your skin with a barrage of kisses. You can’t help but laugh breathlessly at how determined he seems to cover every inch of your neck and jawline. Now, his hand is warm again under your shirt, the inviting temperature making it creep upwards towards your bra. 

“God,” he whispers, sounding almost pained by how good your lace-covered breast feels when it’s cupped in his hand. Matty’s head was spinning with all the thoughts of things he could do while you were perched on his desk this way. 

In a split second, he’s hiking your shirt over your bra and helping you shrug off your cardigan, fueled by what can only be described as unfiltered need. He mutters something that sounds like a string of swears under his breath as he glances down, shifting slightly to adjust the growing bulge in his slacks. You lean back on your hands, your chest heaving as Matty takes in the view. You like it when he does that. No matter how many times he’s seen you with your shirt off, he reacts like it’s a privilege, like you’re the most angelic thing he’s ever been allowed to behold. He wasn’t spiritual by any means, but he honestly believed that you, touching you, loving you as his most prized secret, brings him closer to something divine than anything else. 

Starving, you pulled him in by his tie for more, your skirt hiking further up your thighs. It was hot, too hot to describe when his tongue was in your mouth and his hips were rolling against yours. You make a soft sound of pleasure, only for it to be instantly echoed by Matty in a low groan against your mouth. A lot of your jobs were spent reeling in teenagers, but really, you were no better than them when you got your hands on each other. Your wandering hands and friction-seeking hips were no better than those of a 17-year-old experiencing touch for the first time. It was exactly the same with Matty. Once you’d gotten just a taste of something forbidden, you could only think of the next time you could have it.

“Fuck,” you whisper, your eyelashes fluttering as Matty’s thumbs swipe over your nipples through your bra, the stiffness in his trousers pressing against your panties just right. So right, that you felt a throb between your legs like a pang of pure need. 

“Feel that?” he mumbles lowly, “What you do to me?”

It was normal for you to get lost in him, especially with his hands setting simmering fires all beneath your skin. However, today, you’d gotten lost enough not to hear the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. It was only when the sound of keys jingling echoed right outside the door that you both froze. You swore you felt your stomach drop right to your feet as your eyes snapped open, pushing Matty back with a hand to his chest. His lips are wet and shining when you part, his eyebrows raised in shock. His expression is much like that of a deer in headlights. 

“Fucking hell, janitor coming for the trash,” he mutters, his breath trembling slightly. He nervously runs a hand through his hair, knowing they only have about two seconds before they’ll be exposed. “Under the desk, under the desk,” he says, motioning hurriedly for you to get down. 

You nearly hit your head against the arm of his chair as you scramble to huddle under his desk, your heart pounding in your chest. Matty sits back down just as fast, sliding his chair in with his legs spread wide to give you enough space. Well, as much space as you can get crouched down under a desk. You can barely take a full breath before the door is swung open, followed by the janitor’s raspy but warm voice.

“Oh, you’re here late!”

Matty clears his throat, forcing himself to display a somewhat normal smile as he talks, praying that his make-out mussed hair doesn’t look that different from his usual messy curls. Luckily, the trash can was near the door. Neither of you needed the man to be any closer to this ticking time bomb of a disaster that was hidden only about ten feet away.

“Ah, yeah. Papers,” he says lamely, motioning to the disaster on the surface of his desk.

You bite your lip to stifle a smile at how uncomfortable he looks. Poor guy. It definitely doesn’t help that you’re eye level with his–

“I’ll just be taking this and heading out, then!” the janitor exclaims, having no idea what he’d just interrupted. You can hear the sound of the garbage bag rustling as he gathers it up in his gloved hands. 

“Thank you,” Matty responds, his voice strained. He nervously clears his throat again, pretending to return to his work. “Um, and you’ve been well?”

“Oh, yes, can’t complain.”

Gingerly, you reach up to place your hands on Matty’s legs, which jerk the moment you touch them. He visibly locks up in his chair, glancing down at you with a look as his spine goes rigid. It was a warning look. He places one hand over yours that rests on his left thigh, pressing it down hard to ensure that you wouldn’t let it wander any higher. In stark contrast to the disciplining pressure, he gently rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand. Your heart jumped in your chest at the sensation, still racing as the tension in the room ran high. He mouths your name, followed by “Stop it. Be good”. Fuck. You watched him from under the desk as he now read the same sentence on one of the pages over and over again, too distracted to even think about absorbing any of the content. 

“Good night,” you hear, those two words undoing the vice around your lungs.

“Night,” Matty answers curtly, refusing to look down at you until the door is clicked shut again. 

The moment he’s fully gone, Matty raises both of his trembling hands, raking them down his face with an uneasy sigh. Relief could hardly describe the feeling you were experiencing. Neither of you could have ever lived down you being caught under his desk with your shirt shoved over your tits. The whole experience was only about a minute, but it might as well have lasted ten.

“Jesus fucking christ. That was like three years off my life,” he mutters, shaking his head wearily before his voice comes out again with a revived sense of vigor, “And you! What the fuck are you doing touchin’ me down there?!”

“It was for balance!” you defend, raising your hands up to show your innocence.

Okay, maybe it was three-quarters balance-related, one-quarter just wanting to see him squirm. Or… maybe more like half and half. Matty scoffs, staring at your disheveled form incredulously. He crosses his arms over his chest, simply radiating with skepticism. The intensity of the moment lingered on like an unshakable sense of unease.

“‘For balance’, my arse, love. C’mon,” he says, reaching out a hand while his eyes bored into you, “Trying to get us both sacked.”

You rise from the floor slowly, placing one hand on his chest as you stand between his legs. A slight pout was on your lips, as if you hadn’t almost caused a disaster. Matty exhales gruffly, trying to stifle the soft spot that ached for you in his heart, no matter what you did. “I’m sorry, wasn’t thinking.”

“Ah, no,” he says, wagging a finger at you, “I’m serious, you’ll be sitting on your hands next. And you never do think when it comes to this shit, do you? It’s always just fuck me on your desk, Matty! I can’t control myself!”

“I don’t sound like that!” you respond, faux exasperated at his terrible impression of your voice.

“Mm. Yeah, you do.”

You lean against his desk, then slowly pull your shirt back down and smooth it out over your torso. Just as quickly as the mood of desperation for each other had swept over you, it had been forcefully extinguished. 

“No more touching until we’re back to my place. Maybe by then I’ll have recovered from the fuckin’ heart attack you gave me.”

“Fine,” you sigh. You were too ramped up with leftover anxiety to think about kissing right now anyway.

You weren’t entirely sure when this would become a funny moment to laugh about, but you were sure that when you got to his flat, all would be forgotten the second his hands were on your hips again.

“We’re not doing this again in here,” he says with a point of his finger, his eyes intense with conviction.

You will probably be doing this in here again soon.

[rederiswrites]

I want to be reading fanfic, not writing it. Unfortunately, I want to be reading very specific fanfic which I will in fact first have to write.

[totallyfuckd]

Chelsea Schuchman and Matty Healy backstage at the Hollywood Palladium, Los Angeles, 2014.

by Brad Elterman.

[noacfslut]

almost, so close, maybe. part three. - matty healy

this part three of six. here is part one and part two in case you missed them!

part three: when i picture you

a weekend full of ringing phones makes you realize how thrilling it can be for a desperate, nearly there matty to call you late one friday night and how terrifying it can be to pick up the phone to a curious, familiar blonde the following monday afternoon.

minors do not interact!

tags: 18+, age gap (25/34), cheating, phone sex, mutual masturbation, guided masturbation, degradation, oral (f receiving), semipublic/public sex

13007 words

It was late, far later than you had intended to still be working on a Friday night but that’s what you get for prioritizing a mid-day nap instead of responding to the emails that had been piling up for days on end. You’d spent most of the past week half sick, working from home, fighting to not fall too far behind at the office between cups of hot tea and naps that always left you feeling groggy. 

You're bleary eyed, manicured nails sluggish on the keyboard, staring at the blinking cursor that taunts your empty mind. Your apartment is dim and quiet, a blanket pooled around your waist, the screen of your laptop glowing brightly in the otherwise darkness of your bedroom. It only heightens the burning sensation behind your eyes as you stare at the numbers that were starting to jumble together. 

You needed rest, you needed some soup, you needed to finish this fucking report already so you could go draw a bath and soak in the tub that had been calling your name for the better half of the past two hours. Or maybe you’d skip the bath all together and just fall back asleep curled up in the middle of your tempting bed, your heavy eyelids practically begged for it. 

It would be so easy to push your laptop off of your thighs and save all of the open tabs on your screen for tomorrow. Or Sunday. Or hell, even Monday morning. If you showed up to the office half an hour early and skipped making your morning coffee then maybe you could finish everything before Thomas came through to welcome you back from the dead.

Or maybe if you batted your eyelashes prettily enough, Matty would do all the catch up work for you. Maybe you could forward the hundreds of emails Thomas had sent you this past week to the older man and he’d take pity on you and want to take care of it so you could catch up on some sleep instead. You knew he wouldn’t mind. 

In fact, it had only taken an hour this past Monday for him to notice you were missing from the office and call to check in on you. And if you thought that was fast, it took him less than a minute into the phone call to offer to take on your workload for the week so you wouldn’t have to worry about it. 

You had stupidly rejected his offer at the time, assuming you'd be able to juggle emails and cough medicine all on your own. In hindsight, you should have known better. 

You hadn't talked to Matty since that day, it’s the longest you’ve gone without hearing his voice since the day you met him and god, you missed him. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was missing you just as badly or if he was grateful for the break from you so he could be a good, loyal boyfriend for once. 

Your stomach rolls at the thought. 

Maybe you shouldn’t ask him for his help, maybe you shouldn’t bother him right now. After all, it was a Friday night, he was probably busy doing something with her. A date, maybe they were out at the movies or dinner. But then again, it was late, maybe they were sleeping. Or god forbid, what if they were-

You stop the thought as soon as it comes to mind, suddenly feeling more sick now than you had all week. You swallow it down, you didn’t want to think about what position he may have her in, you couldn’t. What if it was your favorite one?

You should leave him alone and finish your work yourself. Or at the very least, try your best to finish it and have him help you with whatever was left Monday morning. It was the start of his weekend, you shouldn’t bother him. But god, did the thought of Farrah being in a position you’d kill to be right now make you want to call him just to interrupt. 

You sigh, shifting in your bed, the mattress creaks softly under your weight as you reach for your phone sitting on the bedside table. You hesitate, staring up at the ceiling, trying to debate the pros and cons before you make any rash decisions that may end the two of you in trouble. 

Because what if Farrah was there? Laying in bed with him, cuddled up to his chest, touching him. Yes, you were calling about something work related, you weren’t doing anything inherently wrong. It was innocent. It’s not like you were giving him a booty call in the middle of the night, it was friendly, a phone call that a coworker would make. 

But what if she saw your name pop up on Matty’s phone at such a late hour on a Friday night and assumed the worst? Not that she’d necessarily be wrong about that, but that’s besides the point. The point was that what truly was an innocent phone call could blow up in your face, ruin everything, and the thought of that had you huffing and settling your arm back in your lap.

Maybe you should just email him instead. Keep it formal, professional, unalarming. That way if Farrah did so happen to check his phone, she’d only see your work email handle on his screen and she’d have absolutely no reason to be suspicious of the two of you. 

Farrah would remain clueless and you would still get the help you needed from Matty. It was a win-win. 

Well, if he happened to check his work email this late at night on a weekend, that is. 

You groan, pressing your palms over your eyes, you mutter to yourself. “This is so stupid.” Because it was. 

Who were you kidding? Of course he wasn’t going to check his work email on a Friday night, who does that? But you were desperate and exhausted and now that you’ve thought about him enough you had to reach out to him in some way or you’d never sleep a wink tonight. 

So you sigh and scan over the several tabs open on your laptop until you find your email and you immediately become overwhelmed by the amount of unread messages you had from Thomas, from Luke, from Matty. It was all too-

Wait. From Matty?

Your eyebrows furrow together tightly, your heart racing just from the sight of his name sitting bold and unread in your inbox. Pathetic. 

The timestamp on the email makes your stomach clench. Matty had sent it hours ago, around his usual lunch break, back when you had been two bowls of soup deep and bundled in bed with a shitty romcom you couldn’t even remember the name of playing in the background. 

You remember now seeing the notification pop up on your phone screen and telling yourself you’d reply to it later. And then later slipped into the evening and evening turned into night and now you were here finally remembering what you had forgotten but it was too late now, wasn’t it? 

You click on the unopened email as fast as you could, groaning when your wifi decides that now was the perfect time to be shitty, forcing you to stare impatiently at a white screen until the message finally loads. Your eyes scan over the words he had typed quickly, almost too fast to even register what you were reading. 

A request for a document he needed a copy of. A reminder that it was Jill, the receptionist's, birthday on Monday so you needed to bring the cupcakes you had already committed to. An apology for bothering you when he knows you’re not feeling well accompanied by a hope that you are getting better. A cheeky joke about how if you’re not then to scratch bringing the cupcakes for Jill’s birthday party off of your list as to avoid getting everyone else in the office sick, you couldn’t help the huff of laughter as you read it. 

Your chest squeezes tight with a sick churn of panic mixed guilt for allowing this email to go unopened for nearly twelve hours. You could only hope that Matty would assume that you were too busy resting to check your inbox and that you weren’t actively ignoring him.

You hover over the reply button, hesitant, debating. Should you send a sheepish apology now? Let him know that it wasn’t your intention to ignore him for so long. Would he even believe you? Or should you just continue to ignore it, never reply, pretend as though you never saw the email and hope he doesn’t bring it up on Monday?

Oh, who were you kidding, of course he was going to bring it up. He’d probably come knocking on your office door first thing Monday morning and lean against the frame with an all knowing smirk plastered to his face accompanied by a playful joke about how you’re quite bold for ignoring him again considering what happened last time. 

Your thighs clench involuntarily at the reminder. 

You sigh as you click on the reply button and start typing out a rushed apology, fighting to keep it casual and not sound too embarrassingly desperate as you assure Matty that this was the first time you had read his email. You apologize for holding him up in doing his own work by not sending over the copy of the document he needed, promising to do it now even though it was most likely too late. 

Your eyes scan over the various tabs you have open quickly, your chest tightening when you realize the document Matty had asked you for was already open on your screen, now you felt even worse for not following through for him.

You click back on the tab that held your response to Matty’s email, quick to find the attachment button and scroll through the endless sea of documents until you find the one labeled the same as what you had opened in your tabs. 

But before you can finish, a sound breaks through the otherwise silence of your bedroom. Sharp, shrill, a piercing noise that makes you jump slightly with a racing heart. 

Your phone buzzes in tandem with the ringtone as it vibrates against your nightstand and illuminates the room with the brightness from your screen. 

Who could possibly be calling this late? 

Your eyes dart to the screen and your stomach drops almost immediately after only seeing the first initial of the name. 

Matty.

Your heart stutters at the sight of his name, your pulse hammering as your mind swims with endless possibilities of why he would be calling so late, why he would be calling you at all. It was one thing for him to contact you using his work phone, it was a whole other thing for him to call you using his personal cell. 

On a Friday night, at this hour, with his girlfriend under the same roof. 

You had spent several minutes debating if it would be appropriate to call Matty and ask for his help, terrified of Farrah looking too much into it that you ended up settling on an email just for Matty to throw that all out the window by calling you himself. 

Well, he must need something then, right? He couldn’t possibly be calling for any reason unrelated to work if he was bold enough to dial your number at nearly midnight. Matty was probably just reaching out to reiterate things he typed out in the email you had left unanswered, he would most likely just ask for you to send over a copy of the document and hang up. 

It was innocent, it had to be. 

Your thumbs hovers over the accept button for too long, you sigh before finally swiping it to answer, quick to hold the phone up to your ear. As soon as you hear the line connecting, you rush into an apology, terrified of disappointing the older man.

“Matty, I’m so sorry.” You blurt out, voice high and breathless, words tripping over themselves. “I didn’t see your email until just now. I-I was in the middle of sending you that document when you called and I-“

“Fuck.” Matty’s groan cuts through the speaker of the phone and halts any further words from falling off your tongue. It was broken, gutteral, it makes your stomach flip. “God, I’ve fucking missed the sound of your voice.” 

You freeze, the apology you had quickly practiced catches in your chest. “Matty?”

“Fuck, baby.” Matty whines like it pains him to hear you say his name. “Been thinking about you.” Matty’s voice is husky, ruined, like he’s already half gone. There’s a wet sound bleeding through the line in the background, slick and rhythmic, it falters and then another groan spills into your ear. “Been- fuck, been torturing myself all fucking week thinking about you.”

Your legs press together on instinct, a tremor rolling through you as your heart hammers against your ribcage. This is not how you expected this phone call to go at all. An earful about you ignoring him again maybe, but not this. Not breathless moans and pitiful whines through slick tugs that had you feeling feverish all over again. 

“I’m losing my fucking mind without you.” Matty practically growls, his breath catching in his throat in a gasp that makes your thighs clench. “Can’t stop thinking about the way you sound, the way you feel, I- fuck, I-I couldn’t take it anymore.” 

Your heart slams against your ribs, the glow of your laptop screen suddenly feels obscene, like it’s throwing your flushed face into the spotlight.

“You’re-“

“Yeah, baby.” Matty interrupts, his voice raw, shameless. It cracks into another muffled curse that breaks off into a moan. “I am.” 

Your stomach flips as Matty answers the question he didn’t even let you finish asking, though you knew the answer already, you recognized the rasp in his voice immediately. Your tongue suddenly feels dry as you listen to his ragged breathing through the speaker, the slick sound of his hand pumping himself, the deep groans spilling into your ear. 

“Fuck, ah!” Matty gasps through a pant. “You have no idea how bad I need you, baby.” Matty whines and your heart lurches. “Been laying here thinking about that pretty mouth of yours, how your lips look wrapped around my cock, how your eyes get all teared up when you’re swallowing around me- fuck.” 

You swallow thickly, almost as though you were scared to make too much noise and scare him off before he finished making his confession. 

“But it’s not enough.” Matty practically whines, you could hear him thrashing around in his bed on the other end of the phone, groaning deep and desperate. “I-I’m not enough. Need more, I-I need- fuck. I need you, baby.”

Your heart hammers in tune with the sound of him pumping himself in the background, practically holding your breath as you slowly close the lid of your laptop. Matty was desperate for you in a way you’d never seen him before, a week of separation had nearly sent him over the edge, something he was clearly already barrelling towards on the other end of the line. 

It made you feel wanted, needed, a feeling that was almost foreign coming from him. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was a genuine need for you that was spilling off his tongue or if Farrah was out of the house and you were the next best option, far more exciting than whatever porn he could find online.  

You could only hope it was the former. 

“You don’t..” You cut yourself off to clear your throat, shifting against your mattress as you fight to find the right words to convey the question you were terrified to ask. “You don’t, you know, have someone there to help you?”

You didn’t want to say her name, you always avoided doing so at all costs, but you couldn’t help but feel curious about what room in the house his girlfriend might be in while Matty was calling you in such a desperate state. 

Was she laying on the couch in the living room, watching some shitty sitcom all by herself? Was she soaking in a bath that Matty had prepared for her with a glass of half drunk wine? Was she in the kitchen preparing to cook his favorite meal for dinner? 

Was he really that fucking desperate for you that he’d risk everything just to call you while his girlfriend was on the other side of a wall that was way too thin?

“She’s not here.” Matty groans, gasping when you could only assume that his thumb had swiped over his tip, your stomach twists from jealousy. “At some bar with her friends for a birthday or something, s-shit.“ 

A choked out moan bleeds into your ear and shoots down to your stomach that sinks at the confirmation that Matty was only calling because he was too lazy to find a decent porn out of the millions of options. 

That is, until Matty moans out a gravely confession you could only dream of hearing. “Even if she was here, I'd still want you”

Well that makes you sit up a little straighter. The confession makes your core clench, your pussy throb, heat leaving your forehead in favor of simmering in the base of your stomach.

“Yeah?” Your heart pounds, your voice is a little breathier than before as you slowly push your laptop off of your thighs, leaving it to be swallowed up by your comforter as you focus on Matty’s breathing through the speaker of the phone. “You miss me?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Matty groans into your ear and goosebumps prick at your skin as the sound travels down your spine and settles in your throbbing core that was already embarrassingly wet. “Had to call, I-I needed to hear you, needed you to- fuck.”

“You needed me to talk you through it?” You couldn't help but finish his sentence for him given the way he couldn’t seem to form a full one without stuttering or cutting himself off to moan. You drop your voice an octave, something that has his breathing and right hand picking up in speed as you tease through a pout he couldn’t see but was sure to hear in your tone. “You can’t do it all on your own?”

“N-no, I can’t. I-I tried.” Matty whines out and you couldn’t help but allow the pride to swell in your chest, maybe he did need you after all. “I wasn’t gonna call, didn’t wanna wake you up but- fuck, baby. I-I need you.” Matty gasps and you can hear his hand falter through the phone speaker. “S-So bad.” His deep, gravely tone shoots straight down to your core that can’t help but clench when his voice drops even deeper. “And I knew you’d pick up, you’re such a good fucking girl.”

You giggle softly, a poor attempt to deflect from the desperation swimming through your veins as you slide yourself further down the bed with a racing heart. You tease, already toying with the string at the top of your pajama shorts. “And what if I hadn’t?”

“Would have shown up on your doorstep.” Matty is quick to answer and judging by the desperation in his tone, you knew he wasn’t lying. 

Your stomach flips at the idea as you worry your bottom lip between your teeth, the thought of Matty climbing into your bed had thrill creeping up your spine. “Well, maybe I should hang up then.”

You knew it was just his pure desperation talking, but you couldn’t help but capitalize on the idea for the small chance that maybe he would actually take you up on it. Maybe he’d be the one to hang up, speed over to your apartment and fuck you properly in a bed for once. 

“Cheeky.” Matty diverts your delusions with one simple word that has your shoulder deflating, only to perk back up at the sound of him gasping out a curse that has your toes curling softly under the bed sheets. “What are you wearing?”

You squirm over your mattress, settling more into the soft sheets of your bed as you roll your eyes softly despite him not being able to see your antics. “Well, that’s a little cheesy, don’t you think?”

“I don't remember asking for bratty comments, princess.” Matty is quick to shut you up, his deep voice full of a more dominating tone as it drops an octave and threatens. “You wanna try that again?

The pet name has your spine tingling, your heart racing, your thighs clenching together as you bite your lip a little harder to suppress an embarrassing moan that threatened to spill just from the sound of it. 

“What if I’m not wearing anything?” You tease in a breathy tone much higher than your usual voice flows, it was enough to earn your name being spoken in warning that had you rolling your eyes softly before speaking more seriously. 

“It’s not very hot.” You warn, glancing down at your chest and nearly debating lying for the sake of fueling his fantasy. You sigh. “A tank top.” You offer, staring down at the white cotton fabric that didn’t even cover your stomach, swirling the string of your shorts around your pointer finger as you continue. “Shorts, striped.”

You bite back the urge to groan as you shake your head at yourself for describing your outfit in a way that surely made it sound less appealing than it already was. You had never done anything like this before, you felt way out of your league here, desperate to make this experience good for Matty so that maybe you’d stop falling in second place behind a blonde head of curls.

Matty hums through the sound of his hand pumping himself, much slower than before. “Pink?”

You smile softly, pulling on the string of your shorts just as much. “Of course.”

Matty hums once more, almost as if he’s picturing what you might look like in his mind before delivering a softly spoken, “Cute.” That has your heart nearly bursting out of your chest. You flush, tugging on the strings of your shorts a little harder just in time for Matty to order you through a deep, gravely tone, “Why don’t you take ‘em off for me, baby?”

“Matty..” His name falls off of your tongue in an unsure way despite the fact that your fingertips had already started to sneak beneath the band. The insistent throb in between your legs served as a silent chant to not question the older man and pull your shorts down, down, down.

“I wasn’t asking.” Matty’s voice holds its dominating tone despite the groan spilling from his throat that told you his thumb was swiping over his tip yet again. “Take ‘em off, princess.”

And you weren’t quite sure if your tipping point was the pet name falling from his tongue or the jealousy of hearing him touch himself swimming through your veins that had you folding and pulling the waistband of your shorts down, desperate to get your own hand between your thighs. 

“I thought I was supposed to be the one talking you through it.” You comment offhandedly as you wiggle your way out of your pink, striped shorts. “Not the other way around.”

“Well, maybe our week apart has made you forget who’s in charge here.” Matty’s deep voice bleeds through the speaker of the phone and travels down to your throbbing core that aches for attention. You finally finish kicking yourself out of your pajama shorts, tossing them off the side of the bed to be forgotten until this is all said and done. Almost as though Matty could see you, he brags. “Good girl, you always listen so well for me.”

You couldn’t help but preen, your fingertips twitching next to your hip out of pure desperation to bring them between your thighs, but you knew you couldn’t. Not yet. Not until Matty gave you the permission. 

Though, you quickly needed a distraction from the desperation dripping between your thighs soon or you might end up disappointing him. “What are you wearing?”

“Nothing.” Matty is quick to coo back, you could practically hear the smirk plastered on his face as his deep voice drawls. “And I’m not teasing.”

“Matty.” You whine, squirming on your sheets as the image of Matty laying naked in his own bed burns behind your eyes. You were desperate for him, for more than just the sound of his voice. “Why don’t you just come over?” You try your best to mask your desperation through a sultry tone, hopeful that you’d be able to successfully tempt him if you played your cards right. “I’ll be much better than your right hand.”

“You always are.” Matty brags and you preen once more. 

His voice was deep, gravely, a broken groan ripped from his throat almost as though his hand was squeezing at the base of his length as he imagined all the ways you could serve him better than his own palm. 

Maybe you actually had him this time.

“But I don’t want to wait.” Matty brings you back down from your daydream, you should have known better. “You don’t want to wait either, do you, baby?” Matty coos. “You’re always so fucking impatient when you’re underneath me, I know you wouldn’t make it that long.” You flush a deep shade of pink, turning your head to the side to hide your face from the older man trapped in the speaker that couldn’t even see you, you squirm against your bed sheets. “In fact, I bet you’re already squirming for me, dripping just from the sound of my voice. Isn’t that right?”

“Matty.” You whine, clenching your thighs together in a desperate attempt to relieve some of the pressure between them. You hated when he was right, would never admit it. Because as desperately as you wanted him here with you, between your thighs, in your bed, you couldn’t wait that long. You needed him now, even if it was through the speaker of the phone. “Please.”

“Don’t know what you’re begging me for.” Matty speaks through a smirk you know is spread over his face, surely only spreading wider at the sound of you whining. “I’m not there to touch you, you’re all on your own.” And judging by the condescending edge to his tone, you could only assume that his smirk was now pulled down into a pout. “C’mon, baby.” Matty coos out the encouragement, shifting against his own mattress on the other end of the phone. “Why don’t you put me on speaker, lay back and give me a show?”

And if you weren’t already so desperate for him, you might have told him that if he wanted a proper show then he knew your address, but he was right - you couldn’t wait that long. You were already aching, squirming, dripping for him. If you couldn’t have him here, you’d have to settle for the next best option. Almost like what he was doing right now -

You shake the thought as soon as it creeps in your mind, you refuse to let the doubt and regret consume you before you’d even properly moaned yet. 

That could wait, Matty couldn’t. 

You pull the phone away from your face long enough to put Matty on speaker phone as he had instructed, carefully placing your phone down on the pillow next to your head so his voice would remain in your ear as you sink deeper into the mattress and spread your legs slowly. 

You swallow thickly as you trail a shaky hand between your thighs. You couldn’t help but notice the absence of Matty's right hand pumping his length through the speaker of the phone, meaning that he had stopped touching himself in favor of focusing on you. 

You felt nervous in the silence of the room now that all of Matty’s attention was on you, listening to you, waiting on you to start.

And while you had been in the very same position in your bedroom more times than you could count, you had never done it for an audience before and the pressure to perform well had you forgetting how to take care of yourself. 

Thankfully, Matty was there to take control. 

“Two fingers, baby, nice and slow.” Matty coos and you already miss the sound of him directly in your ear, though the distance makes it easier to close your eyes and picture that he’s sitting right next to you, watching you. “Let me hear how wet you are for me.”

You bite back a whine, squirming one last time before trailing your hand down the rest of the way between your thighs and softly running two of your fingers through your wet core. You gasp at the slightest bit of contact and greedily run your digits through more surely now to chase the feeling, swirling around your bundle of nerves when you reach the top and moaning softly at the relief already melting your bones. 

“That’s it, there she is.” Matty groans and the sound of him pumping his own length starts up again to a pace you couldn’t help but match over your swollen clit. “I bet you’re fucking dripping for me, yeah?” 

You whined in response, nodding your head against your pillow in a way that was sure to knot your hair and even though he couldn’t see you, he heard you loud and clear. 

“Fuck, I can hear how fucking wet you are for me.” Matty groans and the sound shoots down to pool between your thighs. “So fucking desperate, baby. All this just from the sound of my voice?” The condescending tone laces through his gruff voice. “You miss me that bad?”

“You’re one to talk.” You shoot back in a breathy tone that has no real bite to it, though you fight to find some form of power as you swallow down a dry throat and swirl two of your fingers over your swollen clit. “Aren’t you the one who called me mid moan?”

“Oh, you’ve got a mouth on you tonight.” Matty chuckles, low and dark. The sound of it makes your stomach flip, your thighs twitch, your core clench. “You’re real brave over the phone, darling.” 

Matty hisses, something that fades into a deep groan that has your free hand gripping the sheets next to your hip. 

“Don’t forget that you can’t hide behind it forever.” Matty warns and your stomach drops before he can even finish threatening, “I could easily make you lay there and listen to me cum while I leave you with nothing.” A whine that could only be described as pitiful rips from your throat out of protest. “You don’t want that, now, do you?”

You squirm on top of your bed sheets, pouting for a man that couldn’t even see you as your fingers stutter over your clit and you plead the only word you could form. “Please.”

“Didn’t think so.” You could practically hear the smirk twitching at his lips, surely knocked loose by the guttural moan pulled from his toes at the pleasure his right hand was giving him and god, you couldn’t be more jealous. “Now, aren’t you supposed to be putting on a show for me?” 

Your fingers still over your clit as you await for instructions that you hoped were about to spill from his tongue, feeling nervous all over again now that the ball was back in your court. You much rather prefer when he’s in control, though you’d never tell him that. 

You couldn’t help the shyness in your voice as you ask softly. “What do you want me to do?”

The moan that falls from the older man's mouth doesn’t go unnoticed, it swims through your veins and pools between your legs that clenched around your unmoving hand as you turn your head slightly so your ear could be closer to the phone that was on speaker. “What do you think I’d be doing if I was there?”

“You could be here.” You remind, a slight bite to your tone that Matty hums at but gives no further response to. You sigh, “I-I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.” Matty encourages, so sure that you feel silly for even doubting yourself. “C’mon, baby, haven’t I fucked you enough times for you to know how I like you?”

You flush, shifting in your bed as you slowly start to swirl your fingers over your bundle of nerves once more. You allow your eyes to flutter shut and the obscene images that flash behind your eyelids of all the filthy ways Matty had fucked you before made it easier to fall into a mindless rhythm and imagine that Matty was here with you, what he would do, how he would tease.  

You swirl tight circles over your swollen clit as you focus on the sound of Matty getting himself off on the other end of the phone, jealousy seeping into your bones all over again as the slick sound of his hand pumping himself melts through your veins and controls the pace of your own fingers. 

You never thought you could be so jealous of a hand before, but here you were, practically scowling at the thought of his right hand replacing you. You wanted to be the one on top of him, squeezing around him, bringing him pleasure. 

And while it had only been a week, it felt like it had been so long since you felt the stretch of him, you craved it. It really only took one more half broken moan ripped from Matty’s throat for you to feel brave enough to trail your two fingers down at your entrance and tease the idea of pushing them inside. 

If Matty were here he’d make you beg for it, he’d leave his fingertips ghosting over where you craved him until you were squirming and teary eyed, you were sure of it. But he wasn’t here, you were all on your own, you could do whatever you wanted. 

And with that, you spread your legs a little further, dip your fingers a little lower and slowly start to push inside. You gasp at the feeling, not near the stretch of Matty’s own fingers but still enough to have your back arching slightly off the mattress. 

“There she is.” Matty coos and you jump ever so slightly at the sudden sound of his deep, gravely voice in your ear. “Knew you’d figure it out eventually.” 

And the confirmation that you were doing something right had you pushing your fingers to your knuckles, a breathless moan tumbling from your bitten raw lips at the feeling. “Matty.”

“Fuck.” Matty grunts, like the sound of you moaning his name nearly sends him over the edge. “Nice and slow, princess, take your time.”

You whine out of protest, you didn’t want to take your time. You were already desperate enough as it is, you wanted relief now. Though, as if they were under some form of a spell, your fingers immediately follow his command and start to slowly pump inside of yourself. 

“Matty.” You whine yet again, heart soaring when he groans in response, the sound makes your fingers curl and a gasp fall from your tongue. 

“Fuck, that feel good, baby?” Matty’s voice was wrecked, deep and raspy in a way that had you clenching around your fingers. You nod against the mattress, the action sure to leave your hair knotted and tangled when this was all said and done. “Words.”

“Yes.” You whine, rolling your hips to match the pace you were fucking yourself with. “I- fuck, yes.”

“Fuck.” Matty groans, the slick sound of him pumping himself on the other end of the phone picks up in pace for a beat before slowing down once more, as if your breathless moans were sending him into overdrive. You can nearly hear the smugness in his tone as he asks, “As good as me?”

“N-No.” You whimper, bottom lip trembling as you shake your head for good measure. “No, I-I-“

“No?” Matty cuts you off, voice full of faux shock that has your core clenching around your digits once more. Matty chuckles, “Of course not.”

And you weren’t even lying just to fuel his ego. Yes, your hips were rolling to chase the pleasure of your own fingers but this was nothing compared to the way Matty fucked you. 

Your fingers were thinner than Matty’s, they didn’t provide that delicious burn of being stretched and filled like his own did. Your fingers were shorter than Matty’s, they couldn’t reach that heavenly spot that he always abused because he liked that way it made your eyes roll back. Your fingers were softer than Matty’s, they missed that rough edge of his calloused fingertips that always had you squirming underneath him. 

“Please.” You whimper, pitiful and pathetic. Your bottom lip trembles in tandem with your thigh as you shake your head against the mattress. “I-I can’t.”

“You can.” Matty assures through a breathless moan that has your own eyes rolling back as you curl your fingers from the sound. Matty clears his throat softly before delivering a much more dominant, “You will.”

You squirm over your bed sheets, rolling your hips down to meet each passing thrust of your fingers in hope that it would bring them in deeper and whimpering when it fails to reach. 

You were panting, bottom lip trembling, your wrist already starting to burn as you begged. “Please, I-I-“

“Breathe.” Matty interrupts. “Just think about me, baby.” His rough voice speaks softly as he slowly pumps himself. “Focus on me.”

You swallow thickly as your eyes flutter shut and you allow your mind to drift to the delusion of Matty being in bed with you once more, easier to do when Matty was moaning filthily and feeding into the fantasy. 

“Fuck, you feel so good, baby.” Matty groans, deep and guttural, your stomach flips at the sound. Matty hisses, surely his thumb had just swiped over his tip as he moaned. ”So fucking tight.”

“Matty.” You say his name breathlessly, almost unsure as you listen to the obscene, slick sounds of him fucking his own hand and pretending it was you. Your own hand falls blindly into the rhythm of his own, fucking yourself to match his pace as your other hand trails down to join the mix, swirling two fingers over your swollen clit until a broken moan rips from your throat. “Matty.”

“That’s it, good fucking girl.” Matty groans, one that fades into a whimper of his own as his mattress starts to creak on the other end of the phone, you could only imagine that he had planted his feet on the bed so he could properly fuck his hand. “Always so fucking good for me.” Matty brags and you couldn’t help but preen as he groans, “My best girl.”

And you nearly fall apart right then and there, moan after whine after whimper falling from your tongue as the three words swim around in your mind, travel through your veins and settle in the lake of fire in your stomach. 

The pleasure rolling through you was mind numbing, your toes curling beneath the sheets as your soft fingertips swirl tight figure eights over your bundle of nerves while your other hand fights to fuck into you at the same pace Matty was fixing his own fist with. 

You clench around your own fingers when a familiar heat starts to climb up your spine and almost as though Matty could actually feel you, he moans. “Filthy girl, fucking clenching around my cock like that, you close?”

He knew you too well.

“Matty.” You whine, his name falling off your tongue like it’s gospel as you thrash against the mattress, desperate to chase the high you could feel building inside of you. It was all too much, your fingers working over yourself, Matty speaking directly in your ear and pretending that he was actually fucking you, you couldn't take it anymore. “Matty, I- fuck, please.”

“Fuck, baby.” Matty groans, you could hear his hand falter over himself. “I- s-shit, I-I’m so fucking close.” You can hear his hand pick up in speed over his length and you couldn’t help but match the pace, your mouth falling open in pleasure as you fuck yourself faster, swirl your fingers tighter. “You wanna cum, baby?”

And even with the pleasure blooming through you, the burn of your wrists, the desire to fall apart, you still found it in yourself to breathlessly tease. “You’re not gonna make me beg for it?”

Matty chuckles, low and rough, one that breaks off into a long drawn out moan that has both of your hands speeding up to chase that high you both craved. 

“No, I don’t- fuck.” He cuts himself off with a groan. “Don’t think I can stop myself from cumming if I hear you beg for it.” Matty speaks honestly and you can’t help the lazy, fucked out smile that spreads over your face at the thought of him being so desperate for you. “And pretty girls deserve to cum first, right?”

You nod as you flush a deep rosy shade of pink that you’d blame on your impending high if Matty was here to witness it, doubling your efforts over yourself when you hear Matty doing the same as you await the permission to fall apart. 

“I knew you’d agree.” Matty’s voice was more breathless now, less dominating as he barrels closer and closer to the edge, desperate to send you over it first. “You’re a filthy little thing, you know that? Getting off on the sound of my voice.”

“P-Please.” You whine, beg, it’s all you could do as both wrists cramp from the speed with which they were pumping and swirling. 

“Fuck, I told you that you can't beg like that or I'm gonna- fuck.” Matty groans. “You sound too fucking pretty begging for it, baby, I-I- shit.” his voice fading out slightly tells you that his head must be thrown back and you’d do anything to see him right now, sure that his curls would be stuck to his forehead from the sweat and cheeks would be rosy pink from the pleasure. “Bet you look even prettier than you sound, princess.”

“Matty.” You whimper through a trembling lip, your eyes nearly brimmed with tears as you fight to not let the pleasure consume you, not yet. Not until Matty gave you the permission to fall apart, you could only hope that he’d take pity on you soon, unsure of how much longer you could hold yourself off. “Please, I-I can’t, I- fuck, please.”

“Cum for me, sweet girl.” Matty groans through a bitten lip, surely struggling to fight off his own high before you’re sent over first. “Right in my ear, baby. Let me hear how much you miss me.”

And really that’s all you were waiting for, your thighs were already trembling before he could even finish getting the rest of the sentence out, your mouth dropped open in a long, drawn out moan as your high climbed up your spine and finally crashed into you. 

You couldn’t help but clench tightly around your own fingers as your back arches off the bed slightly, your head thrown back in an endless mantra of Matty’s name and high pitched whimpers that were only barrelling Matty closer and closer over the edge. 

“Fuck, baby, I wish I could see you right now.” Matty groans, the obscene sound of him fucking his fist echos through the speaker and only has you clenching tighter around your own fingers as your high continues to roll through you. “Always so fucking pretty when you cum, fuck. I’m so- fuck, baby, I-I’m gonna- shit.”

Matty doesn’t last much longer after that, only surviving two more pumps before he was spilling all over his hand, gasping and groaning through the speaker of your phone laying on the pillow next to your head as he fucks his fist through an orgasm that you wish you were giving him instead. 

Your fingers swirl lazily over your swollen, sensitive clit as you listen to Matty moan and whimper his way through his high while your body is still shaking through the aftershocks of your own. 

You slowly pull your fingers out and can’t help but whine at the loss, your empty core clenching around nothing as you squirm on top of the mattress and stare at your fingers that glistened even in the darkness of your bedroom. 

For a split second, you debate taking a picture for Matty to see, maybe a posed one of you cleaning your fingers off with a stuck out tongue that would surely make him groan. But as you reach out to grab your phone and open the camera, you hesitate. 

What if she goes through his phone? 

It’s one thing for her to see your name in his recent call log, that would be easier to explain away than a picture of you with your tongue out as you clean your fingers off from the orgasm her boyfriend had just talked you through. That would be rather incriminating, wouldn't it?

You decide against it, choosing to wipe your fingers on your thigh instead and making a mental note to shower when this phone call was over even though you desperately never wanted it to end. You wanted to stay on the phone with him all night, giggling and catching up about the week you’ve been apart. 

You didn’t want Matty to hang up because as soon as he did you’d be alone the rest of the weekend while he’d have his arms full of blonde hair before you could even finish rinsing your shampoo out. 

“Fucking hell.” Matty’s voice pulls you from an impending spiral, a low chuckle in his throat as he shuffles on the other side of the phone. “Wish you were here to clean the cum off my hand.” And you can perfectly picture his nose turned up as he complains. “Fucking gross.”

“Always so dramatic.” You tease with a roll of your eyes that he couldn’t see but you were sure he knew you were doing it regardless, he knew you too well. You grab your phone and turn him off speaker, choosing to press the device up to your ear just so you could have his voice a little closer now. “I don’t think it’s gross at all.”

“Oh, believe me, I know.” You could hear the smugness in his tone as he shuffles more on the other side of the phone, surely wiping the cum off of his hand that you would have loved to clean up for him, as you always did. “How are you feeling?”

“Wonderful.” You sigh in bliss, sinking further into your mattress and snuggling closer to the pillow you were resting your head on. 

“Fucking nerd.” Matty snorts, shuffling one last time on the other end of the phone before finally settling back against his own mattress, you could picture him with his arm thrown behind his head as he clarifies. “I meant with your illness, sweetheart.” Matty tease. “I know how good you’re feeling now.”

“Oh, I’m fine.” You giggle before correcting. “Better, I’m doing better.” You couldn’t help but flush at the idea of Matty actually caring about you. You twist a stray thread poking out of your comforter as you shrug. “I started feeling better yesterday if I’m being honest, I’ve just been enjoying not having to come into work so I’ve been milking it.”

“I knew it.” Matty tsks, teasing. “I knew you were a dirty little liar.”

Well, at least I’m not a dirty little cheater you wanted to throw back.

“It’s not lying if you’re not asked.” You decide on instead, shrugging despite the fact that Matty couldn’t see you. “Thomas hasn’t called to check in on me since Tuesday, I haven’t lied to anyone.”

You speak innocently, sweetly enough that Matty snorts, surely shaking his head at your antics as he sighs. 

“No, but you’ve still left me all alone.” And your heart couldn’t help but ache at the sadness in his tone. Maybe Matty missed more than just your body. “That should be a crime in itself.”

“Well, at least you finally got some work done.” You try and joke to deflect from the way your heart was fluttering at the idea of Matty missing all of you. “I’m sure Thomas was happy about that, I probably helped secure your job for at least the next six months.”

Matty snorts, shuffling on the other end of the phone, all sadness etched in his voice was now replaced with a smug smile and teasing tone. “Well, then, I suggest that you come back on Monday or I might just end up being your new boss.”

“Ooo, sounds hot, I’m in.” You drop your voice into a playful sultry tone that Matty snorts at and you bite your lip to suppress a giggle that threatens to fall as you tease. “Fucking my boss is way more scandalous and exciting than sleeping with my coworker.”

“Watch it.” Matty threatens and you finally let the giggle fall free from your tongue. “Such a fucking menace.” Matty laughs under his breath, shifting on his mattress once more before clearing his throat, his voice much more unsure now as he hesitates. “You are coming back on Monday, right?”

You bite back a smile that you hoped he couldn’t hear in your voice as you sigh and roll your eyes softly. “Unfortunately.”

“Good.” Matty decides and you could clearly hear the smile in his voice and that makes your own spread wide. “You know, I wouldn't want you to miss Jill’s birthday party or anything, you did promise to bring the cupcakes.”

“Right.” You nod even though he couldn’t see you. “And she would just be devastated if my world famous cupcakes were not in attendance at the office party.”

“Exactly.” Matty was still smiling through his words and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at how giddy that made you feel. “Now that I think about it, Jill wants you to wear that one purple blouse on Monday too. You know, the silky one with the frilly sleeves?”

“Oh, you mean the low cut top that my tits practically spill out of?” You tease and Matty hums in agreement, you couldn’t help but snort. “Now why would Jill want me to wear such a thing?”

“I’m not sure.” Matty surely shrugs and you can practically hear the shit eating grin fixated on his face on the other side of the phone as he says, “I guess purple is her favorite color.”

“Right.” You snort, rolling your eyes yet playing along. “I think I do remember her saying that.” You make a mental note to find the purple blouse that Matty had ripped off of you more times than you could count as you assure him. “I’ll be sure to follow through, I wouldn't want to disappoint her.”

“No, no.” You could hear Matty shaking his head on top of his pillow. “It is her birthday after all.” 

“You are such a fucking dork.” You snort, shaking your head at the man that you couldn’t be more infatuated with. 

“And you are still sick, you should get some rest, It’s late.” Matty reminds and suddenly you feel like you’re in trouble, about to be sent away to your room and before you can even protest the idea, Matty is talking over you. “I don’t want to hear it, you need to sleep so you can heal and I get to see you on Monday.” He clears his throat, still teasing. “I mean, so Jill gets to see you on Monday.”

You roll your eyes softly, allowing the tiredness that had already started creeping in to give you the confidence to mutter. “You know, I might be more inclined to hang up if you had just left it at you being excited to see me.”

“I am excited to see you.” Matty drops the act. “Been missing you like crazy, I can’t put it off any longer.” He’s speaking earnestly now in a way that makes your cheeks flush, your heart race. “So please get some rest so you’ll be nice and healthy for me Monday morning, yeah?” You nod softly as he throws in another tease. “I can’t choke you if your nose is still stuffy, that would just be cruel.”

You couldn’t help but giggle along with him, the sound of his own laughter was already proving to be a better medicine than the prescriptions sitting on your bedside table. 

And even though your eyelids were growing more and more heavy, you still found the energy to tease. “You know, I do have a lacy thong that would match perfectly with that purple blouse.”

“You keep talking like that and I’ll never hang up.” Matty teases and you couldn’t help but try and think of things to say to make him stay there with you forever. Matty clears his throat, hesitates. “I would come over if I could, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, ‘course I do.” Your heart flutters through the ache, lying through your teeth as you mutter. “It’s okay, I understand.”

“Right.” Matty sighs, shifting on the other end of the phone before delivering a blow to your chest. “I should probably get going so I can, you know, clean up.” The underlying meaning of words unspoken leaves you feeling rattled, he had to hang up so he’d have time to get rid of the evidence before Farrah got home. Suddenly you felt ill all over again. “I’ll see you on Monday, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You sigh, the sadness was evident in your tone and you’re quick to clear your throat and try again, desperate to mask how you really felt so Matty wouldn’t ask any questions. “Yeah, I’ll see you on Monday.”

Matty hesitates and for a second you think he might call you out on it, your heart races in the silence until he eventually sighs and chooses to ignore the giant elephant in the room. “Bye, baby.”

It’s the first time he’s ever used the pet name on you outside of sex and ironically it’s the first time it’s ever pained you to hear it fall from his tongue. 

You grip the phone a little tighter as you fight to hold it together until the call drops. “Bye, Matty.”

—

Monday came as fast as you were about to with Matty’s head between your thighs that he held open with hands strong enough to bruise. 

The purple blouse you promised to wear had been ripped open in a way that nearly cost you a button so Matty could leave bites and bruises behind that wouldn’t fade for days, you hoped. The lacy thong you had worn to match the blouse was pulled to the side as quickly as Matty had fallen to his knees after placing you on his desk, little to no patience left to get his hands on you after missing you for a week. 

“Oh my god, Matty, I-“ You gasp as your fingers tighten through his curls at the feeling of his lips wrapping around your clit and sucking until your eyes are rolling back. “F-Fuck.”

Matty groans against you, practically smiling when your fingers tug on his dark curls at the feeling. You’re panting now, desperate to catch a breath down to your lungs as your thighs tremble from the pleasure of Matty’s tongue exploring you.

“Fuck, you taste so good, baby.” He pulls back far enough to mumble, pressing a soft kiss to your clit. “Been craving you.”

You whine, a pitiful noise that has Matty smiling wider now. One glance down at his glistening lips had you whimpering. “Matty.”

“I know, baby.” Matty coos, his hot breath fanning over your dripping core through pants before he blows over your wetness in a way that has you squirming under his hold. “I won’t make you beg for it.” A rare promise. “Pretty girl like you should never have to beg to cum.” And Jesus Christ, you might just fall apart from the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. “Let me have it, sweetheart.”

His fingers dig harsher into your thigh as he dives back in, his tongue swirling over your swollen clit in a way that had you surely dripping on his desk, you could only hope that the older man hadn’t set you down on top of important documents. 

Matty doubles his efforts over you, eating you out as if he had a point to prove, as if he was starving and you could do nothing but sit there and take it. You whine, squirm, tug on Matty’s curls as that all too familiar heat starts to climb up your spine. 

Matty tongue swirls a delicious pattern that only urges the white hot pleasure burning in your core to melt throughout your veins in the same way it felt as though your brain was from your ears. You were drunk on the pleasure and desperate for a release as Matty’s lips wrap around your clit once more and suck in a way that makes your body jolt, a prelude for what was soon to come. 

“Matty.” You whine his name and Matty groans against you at the sound, your fingers curling tightly around strands of his hair as your toes curl inside the heels you were wearing. “I- fuck, I-I’m gonna- I-I can’t, I- ah!”

It’s about all the warning you let out before your high was crashing into you so intensely that you could do nothing but whimper and praise Matty’s name until you had to cover your own mouth to prevent someone outside of his office walls from hearing you. 

You squeeze your eyes shut tightly, practically biting your own palm to keep yourself quiet as his desk beneath you creaks softly from the way your entire body was trembling through an orgasm that Matty continued to eat you out through, desperate to milk it for all it was worth and savor every drop. 

He only stops when you pull him away, using the leverage you had with your fingers in his curls to force him out of your thighs, still panting even as he pouts up at you for removing him prematurely. 

“Goddamn.” You sigh through a breathless laugh. “I know you missed me, but three orgasms before lunch is a little absurd.”

Matty shrugs, a shit-eating grin plastered to his face. “Had to clean you up.”

You roll your eyes, knocking your knee against his cheek and Matty playfully nips at the inside of your thigh in return. You flush when Matty winks as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before glancing down at his watch on his wrist before pinching your thigh with his hand that still lingered there. “Besides, it is lunch time now.”

“It is?” You couldn’t help but gasp out of shock, quick to glance over your shoulder to look back at the clock on his computer screen and groaning when you see that Matty wasn’t lying and your lunch break had started fifteen minutes ago. Your shoulders slump as you turn back to face the older man. “Damn it, I was hungry.”

You could practically see the gleam in his eye as Matty replies through a toothy grin that he couldn't fight. “Well, I'm full.”

You knock your knee against his cheek again, a little harsher this time, enough to earn another pinch at the flesh of your thigh as you huff through a laugh. “You are such an idiot.”

Matty rolls eyes, dramatic as ever, placing his hands on the tops of your thighs for support as he slowly starts to pull himself back up on his feet. You flush at the sight of him tucking himself back into his boxers, already missing the feeling of sticky thighs that he had just finished cleaning up, maybe the two of you had room for one more round.

“Alright, what do you want?” Matty asks offhandedly, more focused on the action of zipping his slacks up and redoing his belt, the sound of it makes you squirm all over again.

You couldn’t help the way your eyebrows furrowed, softening slightly when Matty finally pulls his belt back through the loop and looks at you expectantly. Your stomach flips as you stare up at him towering over you, much more powerful like this than when he’s on his knees between your legs. “What are you-”

“Wait, don’t tell me.” Matty holds up a finger to pause you from giving him the answer to a question you still weren’t even sure he was asking. “I know.” And Matty speaks so confidently that it furrows your brows further again. Matty fixes the collar of his shirt while fixing you with a wink, reaching out to bop the end of your nose as he orders. “You just sit there and look pretty like the little princess you are and I’ll go get you a snack.” 

And you didn’t even have time to argue before Matty was leaving his office in search of a vending machine, leaving you behind on his desk still searching for your breath and desperate to calm down the racing of your heart as you try not to linger too much on the thought that maybe Matty actually cared about you. 

His office door closes softly and now that you were alone, you couldn’t help but allow the giddy smile to spread over your face, your cheeks flushed with a deep shade of pink as you allowed the memory of your morning to play back in your mind. 

How everyone had greeted you as you walked through the corridor, all claiming how much they missed you as you walked by them on your way towards your office. And while that all may have been true, you knew they couldn’t have missed you even half as much as the man whose office you avoided at all costs until you caught up on all the work you left abandoned after he called that past Friday. 

You worked diligently, quickly, not even double checking any of your documents for errors before submitting them and making your way over across the hall, desperate to see the man after hearing him whimpering in your ear just a few days ago. You had barely even gotten three knocks in before Matty was pulling you inside and unraveling you in ways you had been dreaming about for the past week.

One second you were standing out in the hall, the next you were pushed against his door with your arms held above your head by one of his hands while his other traveled between your thighs, muffling any moans with his own mouth until you were melting against the wood.

You were still a trembling mess even as Matty carried you over towards his desk just to bend you over it, wasting no time in sliding home and reminding you what the stretch of him felt like. You found purchase in gripping onto papers you could only hope weren’t important as Matty fucked you through yet another high that you had to muffle with your own hand this time.

And if you thought he’d be finished there, you should have known better when he pulled out at the last second to shoot his own release all over your thighs, quick to flip you around, place you on top of his desk and dive between the mess he had just made. 

Matty had worked diligently, quickly, leaving no room for teasing as he brought you over the edge three times so fast that it felt like your brain was melting out of your ears. You were completely spent, mindless, thankful that you finished your work this morning because you would be utterly useless now. You could only hope Thomas wouldn’t come looking for you, you didn’t think it’d be too good of an image for him to find you completely glued to Matty’s desk and still fighting to catch a breath. 

The shrill sound of the phone ringing next to you pulls you from your daydream. The suddenness makes you jump, nearly sending your heart into overdrive as it cuts through the silence in the room in a way that has you mindlessly picking it up without even remembering that you weren’t in your own office, not even giving a second thought to who could be on the other end of it.  

“Hello?” You cringe at the breathlessness of your tone, clearing your throat as the black spiral chord grazes against your arm as silence lingers on the other end of call. You try again, your voice more steady this time as you repeat. “Hello? Who is this?”

The silence lingers for another beat, enough to have you ready to hang up the call until the person on the other end finally decides to speak up, the familiar voice makes you freeze.

“Farrah.” The name is delivered like a bullet to your chest, your heart sinking down to your toes as your fingers grip the phone tightly in your hand just in time to stop yourself from dropping it to the floor. “Who is this?” You could already hear the edge in her tone. “Where’s Matty?”

“Oh my god, Farrah! Hey!” Your voice is lifted in a high pitched, cheerful tone that you could only hope the blonde couldn’t tell was forced as you slide off of Matty’s desk and rest the phone between your shoulder and ear as you quickly rebutton your blouse as if she could actually see you right now, cursing softly when you knock a stapler off of his desk in the move. “This is Y/N. You- Uh- How have you been?” 

You deliver your name casually, well, as casually as you could to the girl whose boyfriend's spit was drying on the inside of your thighs. Your legs suddenly feel wobbly at the reminder, needing to take a seat quickly and finding a home in Matty’s office chair as you swallow down the bile that threatened to climb out of nerves that you tried not to let show as you fought to carry on a casual conversation with her. 

“Oh, hey.” Farrah sighs and you could almost hear her relaxing at the mention of your own name, you fight to not to let your blood boil at the thought of her not being threatened by you. “I’m fine, I’ve been good, I um- I-I’m sorry, where is Matty at?” Farrah laughs softly, one full of confusion that makes your heart race. “Why are you answering his phone?”

“Right.” You nod despite the fact that Farrah couldn’t see you and the reminder of the last time you were on the phone with someone you couldn’t see comes rushing back to you in a way that makes your stomach flip, your fingers grip the phone a little tighter as you quickly shake the filthy image from your mind. “He’s um-” You squeeze your eyes tight as you try and think quickly on your feet, desperate to not raise any suspicion with the blonde. “He’s in a meeting right now, he uh- he asked me to pick up his calls for him.” You decide on, mentally giving yourself a pat on the back for the excuse actually sounding pretty reasonable. “I think he’s expecting a pretty important one, doesn’t want to miss it or anything, you know?”

“Right.” Farrah repeats and the way her silence lingers through the static of the phone makes your heart race all over again, terrified that she was about to call you out on your bullshit and finally figure the two of you out. “I uh- I do remember him mentioning something about possibly having to work late this week if he can get in with some big client.”

“Yeah, yeah, I-I think that’s who he’s expecting to call.” You grip the phone tighter now as the guilt starts to creep in, unable to stop yourself as you offer a fake name that Farrah didn’t even ask for. “Christopher, I-I think.” 

You say through tightly shut eyes that didn’t make you feel any less guilty about helping validate Matty’s web of lies that he didn’t even know you were weaving right now. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to feel too guilty, more than sure that he was just planting a seed in Farrah’s mind about coming home late due to work when in reality you were fairly positive that the only client he was intending on getting in was your pants. 

“I can um- I can have him call you back? When he’s-” You pause to clear your throat, twisting the chord of the phone around your finger as you speak softer now. “When he's, you know, done with his meeting.”

“Okay, yeah, that would be great.” Your stomach churns as you can practically hear the smile in her voice as she delivers a gut punching. “Thanks.” Your head falls back on his office chair as the guilt practically eats you alive, much like Matty was just- “Well, maybe, actually. How long do you think he’ll be gone? My lunch break is almost over.”

And even though guilt and shame were swimming through your veins, you couldn’t help but allow the butterflies to flutter along the stream at the thought of Matty always spending his lunch break with you rather than her. 

“Oh, um.” You allow the word to linger in the air as you glance at the door to Matty’s office, you knew it wouldn’t be too long until the older man came back through the threshold but some part of you selfishly wasn’t ready to give him back over to her just yet. She got to have him all the time, she could wait until your eight hours with him were over first. “I’m not sure.” You lie through your teeth, twisting the chord of the phone a little faster around your finger now as you swallow thickly and push the lie further. “Probably for a while, he hasn’t been gone long.” 

Well, you weren’t completely lying at least. 

“Oh, okay.” You could hear the disappointment in her tone and you couldn’t help but allow the corner of your mouth to twitch up at the sound of it, finally she knew how it felt. “Well, can you take a message then? I don’t know if I’ll have time to call him when he’s done.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” You force a bright tone that matches the fake smile the blonde couldn’t even see etched on your face before it drops as you roll your eyes softly and grab the stack of post-it notes next to his mouse alongside a pen he had tossed off to the side prior as you shift in his office chair and try avoiding sounding too bitter when you balance the phone between your ear and shoulder to ask. “What do you need?”

Farrah sighs, nearly sounding embarrassed as she asks. “Will you remind him about the dinner at my parents house tonight?”

And you could practically feel your heart drop to the floor beneath you. Dinner at Farrah’s parents? Matty was supposed to be breaking up with her soon and that sure didn’t sound like something a man with one foot out the door would agree to.

“I know I shouldn’t have to remind him.” Farrah’s voice pulls you out of your internal spiral yet it doesn’t stop the way you're gripping the pen so tightly that you nearly feared it might burst and send ink flying everywhere. “But I just-” Farrah sighs. “I don’t want him to forget about this, my mother will kill him if he doesn't show.” 

You force out a laugh, glaring down at the blank post-it note in front of you with so much fire behind your eyes that you were surprised it hadn’t caught a flame. “Men.”

“Right?” Farrah giggles, completely oblivious to the way she had just pulled your entire world out from under you. “It’s at seven.” The blonde clarifies and you don’t even bother to take note of it, too busy keeping your own composure to be bothered to write it down. “Please don’t let him forget.”

“I won’t.” You reply in a monotoned voice, feeling as though you were on autopilot as you continue to stare at the pale yellow of the post-it notes in front of you. “I’ll let him know.”

“Oh my god, thank you, Y/N.” Farrah stresses and the sound of your name falling off of her tongue nearly sends the bile that had been climbing up your throat to shoot all over Matty’s desk. “I knew I liked you for a reason.” The blonde sends a final blow to your chest. “I’ll let you go now, I don’t want to hold up the line in case Christopher calls.” And you nearly laugh at how gullible the blonde was, how ironic. “Goodbye, thanks again!”

You’re too busy reminiscing on the reminder of the last thing Matty said to you before he hung up on Friday night to catch Farrah before the line drops, speaking to no one but the empty static of the phone as you mutter a pitiful. “Yeah, bye.”

You drop the phone from your ear and hold it to your chest for a beat before slamming it back down on the receiver so harshly that you make yourself jump, You swallow thickly as you stare down at the blank post-it note in front of you, white knuckling the pen between your fingers as you allow the guilt, shame and rage to practically consume you. 

“Alright, don’t be mad at me.” Matty’s voice pulls you out of your internal spiral, carefree and casual as he closes and locks his office door that you didn’t even hear open just in time to stop your tears from falling. “But they were all out of Peanut M&M’s so I got you the regular kind instead, I hope that’s okay.” 

You could hear his voice growing closer as he walks his way back over towards you, it finally pulls your eyes away from the still blank post-it notes in favor of landing on him instead. You stare at him with the same teary eyed rage that the pale yellow paper had been the brunt of before as his attention is focused on the packaged candy in his hands. 

“These are terrible for you, by the way.” Matty snorts, tossing the brown package in his hand once before finally glancing down at you. “You need something more- hey, what’s wrong?” His dark eyes immediately filled with concern as he takes in the sight of you, surely pale and nearly trembling. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, you alright?”

You glance back down at the blank post-it note before you, at the pen you were still white knuckling and allow the internal battle to consume you. 

Should you tell Matty about the phone call? About what Farrah had said? About dinner with her parents? Should you remind him so he doesn’t forget and he can show up like the perfect boyfriend he surely is in her mother’s eyes. Or should you forget about it? Pretend like it never happened? Act completely clueless as if you weren’t withholding vital information that would surely, inevitably lead to a fight between the two of them down the road?

You didn’t want to cause more of a rift between them than you already had but what if that fight led him back to you? That’s what happened the last time they had a big fight, right? Matty went out to the bar to relieve some stress and found you as the perfect vice. 

Maybe this time they fought, he’d come to you and you could keep him this time. 

But did you really want him that way? You wanted Matty because he chose you, not because Farrah didn’t. But was he ever going to choose you on his own if you didn’t give him a little push first?

And yes, maybe you were being selfish, but you deserved to be for once. You, or Farrah, shouldn’t have to remind him to be a good boyfriend. If he loved Farrah so much, he should be able to remember a scheduled dinner with her parents, right? Maybe you couldn’t break the two of them up but you sure as hell weren’t going to help keep him in her bed. 

The sound of Matty saying your name pulls you out from your internal battle and if it wasn’t already, as soon as your eyes land on him, your choice was made. 

“Nothing, I-I’m fine, it’s just-“ You shake your head softly and hesitate. The blonde’s name is on the tip of your tongue, her message in the tip of the pen you were still gripping tightly, you just couldn’t bring yourself to deliver it. You set the pen down softly, giving the older man a smile that was much more genuine than what you had sported earlier as you rolled your eyes playfully and nudged his foot with your own. “I just really wanted Peanut M&M’s.”

Matty snorts, rolling his dark eyes just as playfully as he opens the packet of candy before handing it over to you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as he teases. “Such a princess.”

[nightbecomeseclectic]

[drawingthetarget]

i think i'm gonna die in this house.

[grumpyoldemogirl]

truly madly deeply

[secretl1fe0fm3]

strawberries & cigarettes ~ matty healy x fem!reader

warnings: pure smut, riding, dirty talk, soft dom!matty, literally no build up whatsoever

an: in honor of matty’s birthday heres a smutty little blurb i’ve had saved in my drafts for over a month now(since this picture got posted hehe) enjoy!!! ((shoutout troye title and ALSO shoutout oomf for prompt!!! you know who you are, ily <3))

18+ minors dni!!!

The ashtray on the coffee table was half-full, the dim lamp behind Matty casting long shadows over the worn cushions of his couch. He sat there with his legs spread, cigarette perched between his fingers, the smoke curling around his face and in the air.

You were straddling him, thighs flush against his hips, your hands braced on his shoulders for balance. His pants were undone, half-pulled down, yours discarded somewhere on the floor. The slow grind of your hips against hi matched the beat of a low song playing in the background.

“Fuck, baby,” he murmured, low and breathy near your ear. “Look at you, takin’ it so well.”

You were already moaning quietly, riding him slow and deep, your body moving in time with every shallow breath he took. Matty’s hand slid up the curve of your waist, then back down to squeeze your ass before landing a soft spank on the flesh.

“Good girl,” he whispered. “That’s it. Just like that. You love bein’ full of me, yeah?”

You nodded, lips parted, eyes fluttering shut at the sound of his praise. Matty reached for the cigarette again, took a slow drag, then tapped the ash into the tray. His other hand never left your waist, fingertips pressing into your hips possessively, grounding you against him.

“Wanna taste?” he asked, smirking.

You nodded again, and he brought the cigarette to your lips, letting you lean forward to take a hit while still grinding down on his length. The smoke hit your lungs at the same time the tip of his cock nudged against your sweet spot making your head spin.

“Such a good little thing,” he whispered, watching your lips wrap around the cigarette again, eyes gleaming with what seemed like pride. “Doin’ all the work… keepin’ me so fuckin’ hard with that tight little cunt.”

Your hips bucked at his words, and his smirk turned smug, knowing exactly what he was doing to you. He brought the cigarette back to his own mouth, took a drag, then crushed it out lazily in the ashtray without breaking eye contact.

“Gonna let you come like this,” he murmured, tilting his head as he looked at you. “Work for it. Show me how desperate you are.”

You whimpered at that, thighs starting to shake as you rode him faster, your hands gripping his shoulders harder, nails digging into skin. His hands moved to your tits, thumbs brushing over your nipples, pinching the buds lightly in between his fingers making you gasp.

“That’s it, baby,” he groaned. “Use me. Dirty fuckin’ girl loves it, doesn’t she?”

You picked up the pace at his words as your hips rolled against his, chasing the friction, your climax building sharp in your gut. Matty leaned forward, lips brushing your ear again.

“Say it,” he whispered. “Tell me how good it feels.”

“Feels so good, Matty,” you panted, voice trembling. “So deep—fuck, gonna come, please…”

“Go on,” he urged, voice low and filthy. “Come for me, you earned it. My good girl.”

You did, hard, legs trembling, body arching into him as your orgasm ripped through you. He held you through it, his arms wrapping around you, his mouth pressing kisses into your neck as you whined out a string of profanities.

“Fuck,” he hissed, thrusting up once more, holding you down as he came too, groaning against your skin before biting down and sucking a dark purple bruise into your neck.

The room was quiet again except for your heavy breathing, and the sound of the soft music mingling in the air with the smoke. Matty reached for another cigarette, lit it with a flick of his lighter, and exhaled slowly.

You were still in his lap, your head resting on his shoulder when he offered you the first hit. You smiled lazily up at him, parting your mouth slightly as he brought it down to your lips.

“There she is,” he said, eyes soft but smug. “My perfect fuckin’ girl.”

my masterlist

[thenbcsshegoes]

i need him so bad