gracie ⎕ @thenbcsshegoes - Tumblr Blog

almost, so close, maybe. part five. - matty healy

this is part five of six. here are the links to the other parts in case you missed them! one. | two. | three. | four.

part five: just a little bit of your heart

when farrah goes out of town, you spend the weekend at matty's apartment being bent over every available surface and fighting to not confess the feelings you've been hiding for months now

minors do not interact!

tags: 18+, age gap (25/34), cheating, oral (f receiving) ((matty is a maaajor munch in this fic lol)), fingering, unprotected sex, degradation, body worshipping, praise kink, crying during sex, cum play if you squint

20386 words

Three knocks.

That’s all that stood between you, Matty and the front door to his apartment.

You glance at the number plaque for what felt like the millionth time to ensure it was still his apartment you were standing outside of, nerves practically eating you alive as you build up the courage to actually make your presence known.

Matty had told you to arrive at seven and you gingerly tacked an extra twenty eight minutes onto that out of fear of someone lingering. You couldn’t help it. What if she forgot to pack something and had to come back for it? What if she wasn’t feeling well and decided to not go anywhere at all? What if you knocked on the door to his apartment and she answered instead?

The fear was almost enough to have you turning on your heels and heading back to the subway, sure to come to your senses on the ride back to your own apartment. Because this plan was rather stupid, wasn’t it? To leave the comfortability and security of hidden hookups in the office to standing outside of the front door to the apartment he shared with his girlfriend.

You knew how stupid this idea was, how risky it was. But god, how were you supposed to turn him down? He was finally giving you what you had craved for nearly a year now, something past hushed and rushed hookups, something real.

So what if you were being stupid, risky, delusional as you prepare to play house with a taken man for the weekend? The promises of what he would do to you whispered through a lingering touch at the coffee pot, in the copy room, during a meeting were enough to have you throbbing and dizzy by the end of the work day.

They were enough to have your hand sneaking beneath the blankets that night to trail between your thighs as you imagined every filthy image Matty had planted in your mind until you were shaking and begging for a man that wasn’t even in the room, a man that you couldn’t even call to talk you through it because she was still at home.

Matty’s whispered promises kept you sticky, wet, desperate through that lonely Friday night and Saturday afternoon as you counted down the seconds until seven that night when Farrah would be gone and the two of you were in the clear.

The reminder of them now were enough to make your stomach flip, to have you throw all rationality and logic out the window as you raise your fist to finally knock on the door that stood between you and the promises you could only hope the older man would keep.

Three knocks.

That’s what you had mentally prepared yourself to complete before coming face to face with him.

So you couldn’t help but gasp when you had barely delivered two soft knocks to his front door before it was swinging wide open and you were being pulled inside, turned around and shoved against it so quickly that you couldn’t help but become dizzy.

Matty’s fingers curl in your hair and softly push your face further against the door as he takes a step forward to press the front of his own body flush against the back of yours, it was enough to make you gasp against the wood as he leans in close enough for his breath to fan against the back of your ear and raise goosebumps along your neck.

“You’re late.” Matty’s voice is tight, stern, spoken through a clenched jaw. You could practically feel the heat from his anger radiating off of him as his fingers curl tighter in your hair, enough to make you hiss from the sting of pain jolted through your scalp that Matty soothes by licking over the shell of your ear before breathing hotly into it. “You know I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

You swallow thickly, already finding it hard to breathe as Matty pins you against the door. An all too familiar heat is quick to swirl in your stomach and settle in your core at the feeling of his body pressing against your own, desperation thrumming through your veins so rapidly that you nearly felt ashamed, you hadn’t even seen him yet.

But god, you could only imagine what he looked like right now.

You could feel his damp ringlets brushing against your neck as his mouth explored the area, you could smell his shampoo through every open mouthed kiss he trailed down the expanse of it. You could only assume he was fresh out of the shower and that image alone was enough to make you roll your hips back against his own, the feeling made you shudder and Matty’s teeth dig into your neck in a way that made your eyes roll back softly.

“Sorry.” You sigh, swallowing down a moan at the feeling of Matty sucking over your pulse point, not hard enough to leave behind a bruise but just enough for you to feel it. “Subway was delayed.”

Which wasn’t technically a lie. The subway was delayed. Just only by five minutes, not the twenty eight that you had tacked onto your arrival time.

“Hm.” Matty hums against your neck as if he doesn’t quite believe you as his hands leave your hair in favor of joining his other to explore your frame, greedy hands that couldn’t decide where they wanted to land, desperate to feel every inch of you as if he hadn’t seen you in weeks when in reality it had only been a little over 24 hours. “Hands on the door, sweetheart.”

Matty’s deep voice mumbles against your neck as his hands slip under the hem of your shirt to run along your skin that was surely hot and tempting.

“W-What?” You couldn’t help but laugh softly, the pleasure already fogging your brain and making it nearly impossible to understand what he was asking of you.

“Hands on the door.” Matty repeats with more of a bite this time, running a hand up the expanse of your back until it’s between your shoulders and using it as leverage to push you until you’re bent over to his liking. “Don’t make me say it again.”

You’re quick to obey, bracing the front door of his apartment with shaky hands as your mind swirls from the dizzying impact of his deep, authoritative tone and the way he was manhandling you.

“Matty, I-” You start to blabber off a better excuse that might save you from any impending punishment Matty may have planned for you, clear that he knew your tardiness was in no way due to a delayed subway, but you don’t make it very far before Matty drops to his knees behind you and effectively cuts you off. “W-What are you doing?”

Your voice was as breathless as you felt right now with Matty’s hot hands running along the expanse of your legs, the backs of your thighs, tugging softly on the hem of your skirt that you definitely could never wear up to the office.

“I’ve got you all to myself, baby.” Matty coos, trailing his hand up the inside of your thigh until his thumb could ghost over your core clothed in lace that clenched from even the slightest bit of attention. You could practically hear the smirk spread over his face as he answered, “Whatever I want.”

“Okay, but you-” You start but are cut off yet again by the feeling of Matty’s thumb pressing down over your clothed clit, the sudden pleasure was enough to make your knees buckle and you could feel his huff of laughter against the back of your thighs. “And what about-” Matty swirls his thumb in perfectly tight circles that make your head spin in rhythm, swallowing down a moan as you try again. “W-We need-” You attempt one last time as Matty ignores you in favor of hooking his thumb under the band of your thong and slipping the black lace to the side so he could lean in a lick a thick strip up the center of your core. “Oh my god.”

You gasp as your head drops between your shoulders, your back quick to arch instinctively to give him a better angle to work with as the pleasure rolls through you. Matty smiles against your core and the feeling was enough to make your heart jump, disrupting the racing thump of it as his tongue worked over you in a way that you both knew you wouldn’t last long in.

“Matty.” You sigh, soft and breathless, biting your lip to suppress the moans building up in your throat out of instinct as Matty’s tongue swirls over your clit in an intoxicating way. “Fuck.” You choke out, your manicured nails curl softly against the wooden door you’re bracing as the older man’s mouth works over you as if he was trying to make you fall apart in a matter of minutes, as if he had something to prove. “Matty.”

Matty’s hands find home at your hips and his fingernails dig in meanly as he pulls you back against his face. His hold does more to keep you upright than your own hands bracing against the door do at this point, digging manicured nails into the wood as his lips wrap around your clit and suck gently until you’re biting your lip so hard you fear you might draw blood.

Matty groans against your core and your eyes flutter at the feeling, his blunt nails dig harshly into the flesh of your hips in a way that is sure to leave crescent moons behind as he devours you until your face is screwed in silent pleasure.

Matty’s tongue swirls through your wet core until your knees are trembling, an all too familiar heat was already pooling in your stomach. You couldn’t help but roll your hips back against his face to chase the high of it, something Matty allowed you to do for a beat or two before he pressed a soft kiss to your clit and pulled away all together, a pitiful whine ripped from your throat at the loss of him.

“You’re being too quiet.” Matty’s voice is rough, deep. It shoots straight down to your core that was already clenching from the feeling of his breath fanning against it as he spoke. “Let me hear you.”

And you couldn’t help but laugh at that, a soft giggle as you shake your head and take a moment to actually get some air down to your lungs before arching your back in hopes it’d reel Matty back in as you remind him. “Normally you like me that way.”

Matty hums as his right hand abandons your hip in favor of trailing between your thighs, ghosting two of his fingers over your dripping core, huffing his own breath of laughter when you push your hips back again in a desperate attempt to get them inside of you.

You flush from embarrassment and can’t help but be thankful your back is turned to the older man as he continues to tease his fingertips through your wet core as his mouth trails open mouth kisses along the inside of your thigh, digging his teeth into the flesh in a way that makes your body jolt before his deep, gravely voice is speaking up again.

“When I have you bent over my desk with an office full of people right outside my door, yeah, I want you to keep your fucking mouth shut.” Matty explains with a bite to his tone that makes your stomach flip, your empty core clench, your heart race as his two fingers tease at your entrance. “But we’re not at work, baby.” Matty coos, digging his teeth into the flesh of your thigh as he slowly starts to push his thick fingers inside of you, your mouth falling open slowly the deeper he goes. “We don’t have to worry about you getting us caught.” He mumbles the tease against your skin as he presses into you until he knuckles out, giving you a breath to adjust to the stretch of him before curling his fingers and knocking your lip loose from your teeth. “So let me hear how good I’m fucking you.”

Matty barely finished making his wish before you were granting it, a long drawn out moan ripping from your throat as the pleasure bloomed through you, your core already clenching around his fingers in a way that was sure to pull his swollen lips into a smirk.

“You’re such a-“ You start but the snarky remark dies on your tongue and gets replaced but a breathless moan as Matty starts to fuck you properly, quick to find a rhythm that made it hard for you to catch your breath in. “Y-You’re so-“

“I’m so what?” Matty bites back through a condescending tone, one you could hear that damn smirk in, emphasizing the word with a curl of his fingers.

“You- You’re a- fuck.” You try again, only to be silenced by Matty leaning in to wrap his lips around your clit and suck until you’re practically seeing stars. Your manicured nails dig into the wooden door to find some form of stability as your legs tremble from the pleasure. “Y-You feel so fucking good.”

It’s not what you had planned, but it’s what you end up deciding on, the words falling from your tongue before you had the chance to second guess them.

You could feel Matty smile against you as the praise washes over him, only fueling him to double his efforts over you as his hand still at your hip uses its grip to pull you back against his face while his mouth and fingers work in overdrive to send you over an edge that you were already barreling towards.

“Oh my god.” You whine, clenching around his fingers so tightly that it earns a pinch at your hip, sighing out a rushed apology as you fight to relax as Matty’s tongue swirls over your clit in perfect rhythm with his fingers fucking into you. “F-Fuck.”

Your eyes roll back softly as you pant through the all consuming pleasure. Your mind is nothing but a foggy, dizzy mess as you barrel closer and closer to the edge. Unable to focus on anything other than fingers curling, a tongue swirling, lips sucking and a silent prayer that drool wasn’t spilling down your chin as an all too familiar heat coils in your stomach.

You half expected Matty to pull away, tease you for being so close already, make you beg for it, beg for him. It was a basic routine at this point, he never lets you get off this easy, always one to make you squirm and plead before granting you the permission.

You waited for the pleasure to end, for Matty to pull away and still his fingers, for his condescending tone to give you an ear full that you couldn’t wait to quip back at but it never came.

Both of you knew how close you were, Matty was all too familiar with all of your warning signs. The panting, the clenching, the twinge of pink on your cheeks that he couldn’t even see right now but just knew was there.

He had fucked you enough times to have it all memorized at this point and instead of teasing you, edging you, Matty moaned against your core and didn’t even come up for air as he doubled his efforts over you, hell bent on making you fall apart.

“Matty.” You moan his name through a pant, face screwed in pleasure as sweat starts to collect along your hairline.

Matty groans at the sound and the feeling makes your legs tremble. You swallow thickly, digging your fingers harder into the door at the feeling of his thick fingers curling and fucking perfectly against that heavenly spot that had your eyes rolling back and a pitiful whine ripping from your throat.

“M-Matty.” You practically whimper his name this time, high pitched and breathless as one of your hands fell from the door in favor of reaching behind you to thread a hand through his curls, a long drawn out moan falling from your tongue at the feeling of his curls still damp against your palm.

The reminder that he made himself fresh and clean for your arrival only for you to make him downright filthy the second you walked through the threshold has you feeling dizzier than before, your core clenching around him so tightly that Matty grazes his teeth over your clit out of punishment.

“Fuck.” You couldn’t help but moan at the pain mixed pleasure, pulling on his damp curls tightly and dropping your head between your shoulders at the feeling of him groaning against you. “Oh my fucking god.”

Your thighs were trembling, sweat collecting along your hairline, your body on fire from the pleasure burning in your stomach and climbing up your spine, desperate for a release.

“I-I’m so-“ You cut yourself off to moan. A long, drawn out and pitiful moan that Matty smiles at. His tongue flicking over your swollen clit in tandem with his fingers fucking into you in a brutal pace that made it hard to form a coherent thought in. “Fuck, Matty. I-I can’t-“ You whine, shaking your head softly as you fight off the inevitable, not wanting to fall apart until the older man gave you the permission to. You tug on Matty’s curls through an ache in your shoulder from the awkward angle. “P-Please.”

Matty groans against your core, his left hand holding onto your hip as if he needed the support while his right curls the two fingers inside of you and he sucks your clit into his mouth in a way that makes your eyes roll back until your vision is blurred.

Matty taps his fingers against your hip, an action you missed at first but become aware of when he repeats it with more of a force this time, digging his blunt fingernails into the flesh of your hip until you realize that he was trying to get your attention.

Matty delivers one final set of deliberate taps against your hipbone while he continues to drive you closer and closer to the high you were desperately chasing and it finally clicks what he was trying to do. He had absolutely no intention of pulling away from you long enough to verbally give you the permission to fall apart on him so he was silently giving you his approval instead.

At least, you could only hope that’s what he meant anyway as you take your own idea as gospel and hope your decision won’t end in a punishment.

You allow your eyes to flutter shut as you focus on the pleasure building inside of you, the way Matty’s damp curls feel between your fingers, the way they brush against the backs of your thighs. The way his fingers fuck into you, curl inside of you, the way his tongue swirls and sucks over your clit.

You focus on the pleasure boiling and building inside of you until your toes curl in your shoes, until your fingernails were digging into the wooden door so harshly that you feared you might leave scratch marks behind, until your mouth was falling open in a long drawn moan as your high crashed into you.

You couldn’t help but tug on Matty’s hair harshly as your body convulses through an intense orgasm that left you a whimpering, whining mess who couldn’t do much more than moan the older man's name as you fell apart on his fingers and tongue.

Matty groans filthily against your cunt as he fucks you through your high. His efforts on you never wavering even through every tug on his hair, every jolt of your body, determined to pull every shake and whimper from you until you were completely spent.

“Oh my god.” You sigh. Thankful that Matty had finally started to fuck you with a slower pace now that you were coming down from it all, your thighs trembling with such intensity that you had to rest your forearm against the door for more support so you didn’t fall to the ground. “Okay, fuck, I get it. That’s enough.”

Matty smiles against your core that was still fluttering around his fingers that slowly fucked into you now as his tongue lapped lazily at your sensitive clit until you were using the leverage you had with your fingers threaded through Matty’s damp curls to pull his head away from you despite his protests.

“What if I wasn’t done?” Matty argues and you couldn’t help but shake your head softly.

“I’m telling you that you are.” You laugh breathlessly, looking over your shoulder at Matty just in time to see him pout before leaning in to press one final kiss to your swollen clit before squeezing your hip softly and pulling his fingers out of you slowly, carefully, filthily as he sucks them clean afterwards and delivers a wink up at you.

You roll your eyes to deflect from the way your stomach flips at the sight.

“So,” Matty drags the word out as he runs his clean hand through his hair, the corner of his mouth twitching and his dark eyes gleaming before he could even get out a casual, “were you able to get a seat on the subway or?”

You snort, rolling your eyes again in a more deliberate manner as you tease. “You are such an ass.”

“Oh, so that’s what you were trying to call me earlier.” Matty hums, his eyes twinkling with a playful light as he relishes in the way your cheeks deepen from the reminder of how he had you stuttering your way through forming a complete sentence mere minutes ago. “I was wondering.”

“Such an ass.” You emphasize as you remove your hand from his hair in favor of standing up straight and stretching both of your arms above your head, hissing softly at the ache of your muscles from the awkward angle your body held for so long as you turn around to fully face the older man for the first time today. “I think you owe me a massage now.”

“Such a princess.” Matty mocks through a playful tone as he holds onto your hips for support as he pulls himself up from the ground, your eyes following his every move as he stands up straight and towers over you, squeezing your hips softly as he teases. “Haven’t I given you enough already?”

And whatever witty comeback you had for him dies in your throat at the sight of him. Slightly damp curls that fell over his forehead, an old band tee that was faded and fitted in all the right places, a pair of grey sweatpants that your eyes couldn’t help but linger on.

You hadn’t seen Matty so… normal in so long that it was almost overwhelming to look at him, so used to seeing him in a suit and tie that the sight of him in something so casual had you ready to push him to the ground and have your way with him this time.

You finally draw your eyes away from drinking in the sight of grey sweatpants and a fitted tee that hugged his muscles just right to glance up at his face and nearly feel as though all the air had been knocked from your lungs at the sight of his dark eyes you’re met with, you couldn’t help but feel dizzy as they pinned you in place.

You could only hope that your poker face had improved over the years as you mentally curse yourself for not staying closer to the door, wishing you still had it to hold onto for support as the older man towers over you with an all knowing smirk as if this was his plan all along.

“Hi.” Matty speaks softly, the corners of his mouth twitching as he fights off a smile.

You have more trouble stopping your own as your heart flutters as you stare up at him, delivering an equally soft. “Hi.” in return.

The two of you stare at one another for what felt like an eternity, almost as if you were fixing each other with an unspoken challenge of who would be the first to break, which Matty loses when his eyes betray him and fall down to your lips.

And it’s not like the two of you haven’t kissed before, you lost count of all the filthy ways Matty’s tongue had explored your mouth months ago. But did it really count as kissing when it was mostly just teeth and tongue? Did it really count as kissing when it only happened during sex? Did it really count as kissing when it was primarily used as a way to keep you quiet?

You wanted it to be real, for this to be real, for him to kiss you and mean it this time.

And for a split second, you almost convince yourself that it might actually be happening.

With the way Matty’s eyes lingered on your lips that were surely still swollen from the way you were biting them a few minutes ago, the way his tongue peeked out to wet his bottom lip as he stared, the way his face moved ever so slightly closer to your own.

You couldn’t help but feel as though you were on cloud nine when you felt his breath ghost against your lips, the way he had put you on such a high pedestal to fall from before he quickly took a step back and cleared his throat, running a quick hand through his hair while you remained frozen in place praying that your poker face was masking the way your heart dropped from disappointment.

“So,” Matty drags the word out like before, glancing at the apartment walls around you before his dark eyes find your own again, that playful glint present in them once more as he holds a hand out to reference the space the two of you were standing in. “this is the entryway to my apartment.”

You huff out a laugh, rolling your eyes at his antics as you try not to linger too much on the fact he said my instead of our.

“Oh, yeah, it’s very nice.” You nod, playing along as you turn your head to actually take the sight of everything in now that your face wasn’t shoved against the front door.

Your eyes scan over the space and take note of the various random prints hung up on the wall in gold picture frames, the back of the couch that wasn’t too far from where you were standing that had a green plaid blanket thrown over the back of it, a record player sat off in the corner near a big window that would surely have a lovely view of Manhattan.

You turn your body slightly back around towards the door you were all too familiar with and notice the umbrella Matty brings to work on a rainy day leaning against the corner near a shoe rack that you couldn’t help but notice had a few empty slots, quick to glance up and land on the key ring to the left of the door that had two hooks but only one set of keys hanging from it that reminded you of what, or rather, who was actually missing from this apartment and oh it was getting rather hard to breathe in here and maybe you should have thought about what you were getting yourself into a little more before agreeing to this and what if Farrah comes home and-

“Well,” Matty’s voice pulls you out of your spiral, quick to turn around and face the older man who was taking a step closer to you. “now that you’ve gotten quite…” he trails off, clearing his throat and smirking softly before continuing. “comfortable here in the entryway,” he throws you a quick wink and you can’t help but flush as you glance down at the hand he was now offering in front of you. “how about I give you a tour of the rest of the place?”

—

“He does not!” You scoff through a laugh, shaking your head softly at the older man who was sitting across from you and fixing you with an unimpressed look.

Matty’s couch isn’t big enough for the way you’re both sprawled across it, the two of you on opposite ends facing the other with your legs tangled together in a way that felt rather… normal, comfortable, almost domestic even.

The coffee table next to the couch is covered in napkins, stray soy sauce packets and long forgotten precariously placed takeout containers from the hole in the wall Chinese restaurant down the block from Matty’s apartment that he swore would be the best food you’d ever had. You hated when he was right.

“Oh, he absolutely does.” Matty emphasizes through a nod, taking a final sip from his water bottle before leaning off the side of the couch to place it next to your unopened fortune cookies before settling back against the couch in a way that lets you know you were about to get an ear full. “He’s obsessed with you, Thomas practically kisses the ground you walk on.” Matty scoffs, throwing his arm over the back of the couch as he rolls his eyes dramatically before knocking his leg against your own. “That fucker thinks you hang the moon.”

And you couldn’t help but giggle at Matty’s blatant display of jealousy over your boss who was nearly twice your age.

“I think you’re being a little dramatic.” You dismiss him, crossing your arms over your chest and settling further into his couch, your legs tangling further with his own. “He just,” You pause in search of the right words, something Matty raises an eyebrow at in anticipation until you finally settle on some. “values my opinion.”

You offer, though you know it’s bullshit even as it's falling from your tongue, further proven as much when Matty lets out a short laugh from the other end of the couch.

“Values your opinion.” Matty mocks as he lifts the arm he had settled over the back of the couch to run it through his fully dried curls before leaning his head against his palm as he gives you a quick once over. “More like he only cares about your opinion.”

“That’s not true.” You argue weakly, shaking your head softly when Matty continues to laugh through it all. “It’s usually because I just tell him what he wants to hear.”

“What he needs to hear.” Matty corrects. “Thomas is incapable of making a decision without the input from his gold star girl.” Matty teases, knocking his leg against your own when you fix him with a glare. “I mean, the man asked you what font to use on his powerpoint, come on.”

You groan, hiding your face in your hands, you hated when Matty was right. “That was one time.”

“That was this week!” Matty argues through a laugh that warms your chest, rubbing the bottom of his foot softly against the back of your calf in a way that has you dropping your hands from your face so you could stare at his own. “And when you were out sick for a week, the whole office nearly fell apart without you there.” Matty recalls, scoffing as the memory of your absence at the office washes over him. “You know, he made me redo a report three separate times when you were gone because you usually do them better.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the way Matty mocks Thomas through his rant, the way his dark eyes rolled out of annoyance, the way his thick eyebrow twitched from irritation that only grew the more you giggled.

“I mean, to be fair, you didn’t even know how to use Excel when I met you.” You tease through a bright smile that Matty glares at, you press your leg against his own to defuse some of the heat from it as you continue. “I am better at it.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Matty scoffs through a laugh, capturing your foot in his hand to give it a sharp squeeze that you squeal at, your heart nearly beating out of your chest when Matty lets his hand linger there after. “Do you really think they’d hire me at an office if I didn’t know how to use Excel?”

Matty raises an eyebrow at you and you couldn’t even fully grasp what he might be hinting at, too distracted by his thumb that had started to press into your pressure point now, slowly massaging the bottom of your foot and melting you further into the couch across from him.

“What do you mean?” You squint at him softly, subtly inching down further on the couch to bring your foot closer to his hand, quickly addicted to the relief his thumb was providing.

The corners of Matty’s mouth twitched at the action, quick to take his arm off the back of the couch so he could join that hand with his other and massage your foot more properly now, you could only hope the light in his apartment was low enough to hide the flush of your cheeks as you fight off a smile of your own.

Matty shrugs, pressing his thumb harder into the divot of your foot as he shoots you a wink. “Maybe I just needed an excuse to get you alone in my office.”

“Oh, please.” You scoff, deflecting. “We weren’t even fucking back then.”

You’re quick to think back on the first few weeks after he started working with you, how the two of you pretended to not know one another already. And granted, you didn’t, not really. You only knew how each other's names sounded falling off your tongues in long drawn out moans drowned out by the music blasting outside of the filthy bathroom at the bar you had met him at.

The two of you did a wonderful job at pretending to be strangers during weeks full of tension that only grew through heated stares and brushed fingertips when you were showing Matty how to use Excel and oh my god, that was totally all an act and he was playing you that entire time, how did you not see right through him?

You take the foot that Matty isn’t currently massaging and kick him just hard enough to make him wince before laughing softly when he notices the look you’re fixing him with.

“What?” Matty’s mouth twitches into a smirk, dropping your foot in favor of paying attention to the other one now, either massaging the area so it wouldn’t feel left out or to coax you into stop glaring at him. “It wasn’t suspicious when I kept asking you the same four questions over and over again?” Matty raised a thick eyebrow at you, pressing his thumb harsher against the pressure point and the feeling makes your thighs press together on instinct. “I’m not that clueless, love.” Matty shrugs with a twinkle in his eye. “Just wanted to see you leaned over my desk.”

You gawk at him, a surprised scoff falling from the back of your throat as you kick him with the foot he wasn’t actively massaging once more.

“I cannot believe you right now.” You shake your head softly, the corners of your mouth pulled into a smile that you couldn’t quite fight off. “Do you know how many reports I turned in late because I was too busy helping you?”

“Do you know how ridiculously good your tits look when I’m sitting in my chair and you’re leaning over me to grab my keyboard?” Matty argues back with a pointed look, one that gets knocked loose when he laughs at the sight of your mouth dropped open in shock. “What can I say? I’m a simple man.”

“God, you are such an ass.” You reiterate through a playful tone, shaking your head softly to deflect from the way your cheeks were flushing.

“I know, you’ve already told me.” Matty winks, giving one final squeeze to your foot before dropping it all together in favor of resting his hands at your ankles instead, holding onto it as if he was trying to keep you there forever. “And don’t pretend like you weren’t popping an extra button open on your shirt before coming in to see me.” Matty squeezes your ankle to emphasize. “I wasn’t the only one who had ulterior motives.”

“Anyways.” You drag the word out in a dramatic way, turning your face towards the coffee table next to the couch in an attempt to hide the blush deepening on your cheeks. “I’ve heard enough from you.”

The sight of leftover Chinese takeout that was bound to be cold at this point sitting on top of the glass reminds you of just how long you’ve been sitting on this couch tangled up in him, how the hours have flown by like minutes, how the two of you fell so naturally into such comfortability that you had completely lost track of time.

“Shit.” You groan when you glance at the clock and realize the time, stretching your arms above your head enough to make your shirt raise and reveal a patch of skin as you sigh. “I should probably get going, I didn’t realize how late it was.”

Matty’s eyes burn a hole through your exposed stomach, dark eyes that lingered for a beat when you dropped your arms back down and your skin was covered, dangerous eyes that trailed up the expanse of your body until they were locking with your own again.

“Or you could stay.” Matty offers, the fingers he had wrapped around your ankle tighten slightly, almost as if he wasn’t even giving you the option to leave even if you wanted.

You scoff but it doesn’t even reach its full potential, the disappointment of having to leave already washing over you as you speak softly now. “Matty, it’s one in the morning.”

“It’s 12:43.” Matty corrects and you give him a pointed look that he sighs at, his own voice softer now as he practically begs. “Please stay.”

The words bring an unbearable pain to your chest, hearing him beg for you for once, it made it that much harder to leave. “You know the subway doesn’t run as often when it gets this late.”

Matty barks out a laugh. “You’re fucking mad if you think I’m going to let you walk to the subway alone this late, let alone ride it.”

“Well, I could uber?” You shrug out a solution and he scoffs as if you’ve offended him. “Get a taxi or something?”

“Or you could stay with me for the night?” Matty counters, hesitating for a beat as if he was trying to find the right words to say before he cautiously continues in a softer tone. “She won’t be home until Monday.” He explains while a calloused fingertip draws absent minded shapes on your ankle as he shrugs, speaking more bashfully now. “I was sort of planning on you staying here the whole weekend? I guess I didn’t make that clear before.”

And even though Matty had clearly avoided saying her name, the words still sting just the same to hear. They serve as a reminder of all the empty space in the apartment of things missing that the older man had clearly stashed away before you arrived, wanting to hide any evidence of the blonde's presence in the apartment, but it didn’t even matter. The two of you could play house all you wanted, it wouldn’t change the fact that it was still her name written alongside his on the lease.

“Stay.” Matty’s voice pulls you out of the spiral you were quickly falling down, the desperation clear in his tone as he delivers the word as if it's final before his eyes soften slightly and he tacks on another, “Please.”

“I-I don’t know.” You hesitate, picking at the skin around your fingernails as you suddenly become all too aware of where you were and what you were doing.

Matty uses the hold he has on your ankle as leverage to move your leg off to the side of his own, giving him enough space to push himself off the armrest of the couch to lean over you, your legs falling to either side of his hips as he slowly crawls over you.

Your heart is nearly beating out of your chest as Matty’s dark eyes pin you in place as he crowds your space, his right hand finding home behind you against the armrest of the couch you were leaning back on as he towers above you, stray curls falling over his forehead in a way that made him look unbelievably pretty like this.

“Please.” He begs a final time, his voice still soft but with a little rougher edge to it now that he had you underneath him like this.

And as badly as you wanted to stay, as badly as you wanted to spend the entire weekend bent and spread in each and every position you could imagine, you couldn’t seem to shake this gut feeling that it was an awful idea.

You swallow thickly, reaching up to brush a stray curl out of his eye so you could get a better look at him, hesitating for a beat before sighing out a soft spoken, “I really think I should leave.”

Matty leans down slowly and you couldn’t help but hold your breath when his curls brush up against your chin as his lips press softly, deliberately, placing a soft kiss to the side of your neck in a way that already had your stomach flipping.

Matty takes his time slowly leaving a trail of open mouth kisses up the side of your neck, his warm mouth in no rush as his tongue runs over your pulse point and melts you into the couch. You couldn’t help but silently curse the fact that Matty knew you so well, that he always knew exactly how to coax you into giving him what he wanted, what you wanted.

Matty continues to kiss slowly, filthily the rest of the way up the side of your neck until he meets your ear which he licks the shell of before panting into it, grinding down over your already throbbing core as his deep voice says in your ear, “I really think you should stay.”

And how were you supposed to do anything other than ignore that gut feeling and allow Matty to turn your brain to mush for the second time that night?

—

You wake up Sunday morning alone on Matty’s couch, tucked away under a green plaid blanket that you didn’t remember throwing over yourself when you fell asleep last night. Though, granted, you didn’t remember much of anything at all about falling asleep after last night's endeavors.

You were more than spent after the third and final earth shattering orgasm that Matty had given you on this very couch after he had convinced you to stay last night. With his head between your thighs until they were shaking and trapping him there, with your legs thrown over his shoulders as he fucked you so hard it felt like he was practically splitting you open and again with his head between your thighs after he finished licking up all the cum he had spilled all over your stomach.

You remember the way Matty had fallen into you after your body had finally finished shaking for the third and final time, the way you were both panting messes who were too lazy to do much more than lie there and try and catch your breath and you could only assume the two of you had fallen asleep that way.

But where was he now?

You lean on your elbow to lift your head enough to glance around his apartment that he had given you a tour of last night, a tour that didn’t last too long considering the size of the space that would be small to some but was honestly quite impressive for Manhattan.

Your stomach drops when you don’t immediately catch sight of him. The Chinese takeout that was left behind on the coffee table was all cleaned up now and every light in the apartment was off except for the lamp near the tv that provided a warm glow during last night's rendezvous. For a second you thought he might be showering, freshening up for the day after all the ways you had made him filthy a few hours ago, but you don’t hear any water running.

“Matty?” You call out his name in a hesitant way, almost sounding as though it was a question as your eyebrows scrunch together when you’re met with silence in return.

You try to ignore the anxiety that was growing steadily in your stomach the longer you search for him. You had lost track of the amount of one night stands you’d had where you snuck out of the house the morning after without leaving a trace behind, but you had never been on the receiving end before and especially not ghosted by the guy whose apartment you were still in.

“Matty?” You try again, a little louder this time as you fully sit up on the couch now, the green plaid blanket pooled in your lap as you search for any sign of life. “Hello?”

And while you don’t get a response, it was almost as though all your calling out had manifested the older man's return as you only sat in silence for a beat longer before the sound of a lock being turned catches your attention.

You turn your head to look behind you just in time to see Matty walking through the threshold with two coffees in his hand and a paper bag held between his teeth as he kicks the front door shut behind him, you couldn’t be more relieved at the sight of him.

You were sure that Matty was feeling similar by the way his eyes lit up at the sight of you still sitting on his couch, probably just as anxious that you would slip out on him while he was out of the house and relieved to see that you had stayed.

Matty walks over to the coffee table in front of you and sets the two drinks down on the glass before taking the paper bag out from his teeth and shooting you a big smile that makes your heart flutter.

“Good, you’re awake.” Matty’s voice is soft and still has an edge of a morning rasp to it that you quickly become addicted to. “Probably would’ve had you open the door if I had known that.”

Matty chuckles and you can’t help but giggle along, you could only imagine the struggle he had to have endured by opening the door while balancing two coffees in his hands.

“Yeah, sorry, I just woke up.” You apologize with a soft smile that he returns while he shrugs the leather jacket you hadn’t seen since the first night you met him off and tossed it over towards the other end of the couch. You allow your eyes to linger on the exposed muscles and tattoos for a little too long, feeling spoiled by the sight after being hidden by long sleeve dress shirts at work all the time, before pulling your gaze away to take a proper look at what Matty had carried in. “You got us coffee?”

And it wasn’t like the gesture was anything new for him to do, he made you coffee at the machine from work all the time, he knew exactly how you liked it prepared. But something about him ordering you a coffee from a shop felt different, maybe it was different.

“And bagels.” Matty smiles, shaking the bag in his hand around slightly to show it off before setting it down on the glass table next to your coffees.

And now that you knew the contents of the paper bag you couldn’t help but sit up a little straighter out of excitement, your eyes scanning over the contents on the coffee table in front of you and you nearly freeze when you recognize the labels.

“Wait, ARK Bagels and 787 Coffee?” You question as Matty rounds the coffee table to make his way over to the couch to sit down next to you, his thigh pressed against your own in an intoxicating manner as you glance at him and narrow your eyes slightly. “These are over by where I live?”

Now that you were more awake, you couldn’t help but notice the all too familiar packaging in front of you, the coffee and bagels both from local shops you visited so often they knew you by name when you walked through the door.

“Yeah, well, last night we ordered food from one of my places so I figured today I could try something from one of yours.” Matty explains, shrugging as if it was the most casual idea in the world, as if the gesture didn’t have butterflies swarming like crazy in your stomach. “Or, two of your places, I suppose.”

“These are all the way down on 15th street?” You explain to him as if he didn’t already know, as if he hadn’t just come from there, your eyes full of bewilderment as you stare at the older man who hadn’t stopped smiling at you since he walked through the door. “Do you realize how far that is? That’s like,” You pause to do the quick math in your head before continuing. “eleven blocks from here, are you crazy?”

“Well, it’s not like I walked all eleven blocks.” Matty scoffs playfully, knocking his shoulder against your own before reaching out to grab the paper bag and unload the contents inside of it. “That’s why I own a car, princess.”

“Right.” You drag the word out, humming as you watch him pull two bagels wrapped in foil from the paper bag before crumpling it up and tossing it onto the coffee table to be cleaned up later. You adjust to criss-cross your legs under yourself, bringing your knee to rest on top of his thigh, ignoring the heat this new position provided in favor of teasing him. “Not a true New Yorker, I see.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Matty groans, rolling his eyes as his hand comes down to slap your knee gently, playfully, even allowing his hand to linger and spread over your thigh as he tilts his head down towards the coffee table in front of you. “Eat, please.” He emphasizes by digging his blunt fingernails in the flesh of your inner thigh before his hand is gone from you all together. “I didn’t fight the Sunday morning traffic for your food to get cold before you get to enjoy it.”

You flush as the butterflies in your stomach threaten to flutter up your throat and spill out of your mouth as you think about him making such an effort to go get you something just because he thought it would make you happy. You’re quick to reach out and grab the iced coffee you knew had to be yours, desperate to take a sip and swallow the butterflies back down where they belong.

You swirl the ice around in the plastic cup once, twice before bringing the straw up to your lips to take your first sip. Matty watches you closely as you swallow it down and you couldn’t help but smile as the flavor washes over your tongue, your chest warming at the idea of Matty not only knowing how you liked your coffee made at work but also your typical order at a coffee shop that he had never been to before.

“I get it right?” Matty asks with eyes that gleam as he watches you take another sip with a small smile on his face.

You hum, nodding as you swallow the iced coffee down and pull the straw from your mouth long enough to assure him. “It’s perfect.”

“Good.” Matty nearly breathes a sigh of relief as he chuckles softly. “The menu was a little confusing, I sort of felt like I was standing there with my dick out when I was ordering.”

You snort, leaning forward to place your coffee on the glass table before unwrapping your bagel from the foil before it gets cold, your heart skipping a beat when you fully get it unwrapped and take in the sight of your usual order sitting right in front of you.

An Horchata Latte from 787 Coffee and a plain bagel with bacon, egg and cheese from ARK Bagels. The order was so specific and so quintessentially yours that there was no chance in hell that he had pulled it out of his ass at the counter when he was ordering for you.

“How did you know what to get me?” You couldn’t help but ask, almost feeling too scared to look at him out of fear that every emotion you feel for him would be written all over your face, choosing to keep your eyes focused on the bagel before you as you await his response.

Matty shrugs, unwrapping his own bagel as he speaks casually yet you could hear the smallest waves of nerves as he spoke, almost as if he was as terrified that he was revealing too much by answering.

“Well, whenever you come into the office late, you typically blame it on a delayed subway but you always have a coffee from 787 and a paper bag from ARK in your hands.” Matty explains as if he knows you like the back of his hand, maybe he does. “And I am the one who normally empties the trash bin in your office, you know, with you being a princess and all.”

Matty teases, knocking his shoulder against your own and you couldn’t help but flush at the idea of him picking up on your usual order just from seeing you carry it into work and emptying your trash. You couldn’t help but glance at him now, sure that your eyes were gleaming brightly up at him with the way he scratches the back of his neck.

“What?” Matty shrugs casually though his voice wavers from nerves. “I’m observant.”

And god, if you weren’t so terrified of the repercussions, you would have grabbed his face and kissed him right then and there. You have to take a bite of your bagel to stop yourself from doing so, unable to stop yourself from wondering if Matty was gulping down his coffee to prevent himself from doing the same thing.

“I can’t believe you looked at the entire menu and still ordered a plain black iced coffee.” You couldn’t help but tease to break up some of the tension, knocking your shoulder against his own. “You’re so pretentious.”

“I told you the menu was very overwhelming, I couldn’t even pronounce half of it.” Matty explains and you couldn’t help but snort before taking a sip of your own coffee. “And I am not pretentious, I’m a man.” He emphasizes and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at his antics. “Fancy lattes are for spoiled brats.” Matty teases and you flush, biting your straw to suppress a smile that threatens to spread as he continues. “Besides, you’re drinking more sugar and milk than coffee anyway.”

“And it’s so delicious.” You brag dramatically, swirling your cup around to shake the ice and entice him. “I know you’re just dying for a taste.”

Matty raises a thick eyebrow, giving you a quick once over and you can’t help but snort as you push his shoulder softly, sending you both into a fit of laughter and soon enough you’re back to shaking your ice around in your cup to tease him.

“Seriously, you should try it.” You offer him the drink and sigh when his face twists in disgust in return, lifting your voice in a song-like manner as you try again to tempt him. “I think you’d like it.”

“Fine.” Matty huffs, never one to tell you no, grabbing the cup from you with a roll of his dark eyes that lingered while he took a dramatic sip. “Fuck, that’s actually quite good.”

Matty goes in for another sip and you practically beam as you watch his lips wrap around your straw.

“I love it when I’m right.” You brag and Matty’s dark eyes roll again, still sipping on your Horchata Latte until you're slapping his arm softly and snatching the plastic cup back from him. “Okay, alright, that’s enough. Give it back.”

“Greedy girl.” Matty teases with playful glint in his eye.

“So I’ve heard.” You throw back as the memories of last night wash over you, biting your straw once more as you recall all the filthy, degrading things spilled from Matty’s tongue and soaked into your skin as he made you fall apart over and over and over again.

Matty’s eyes fall down to your mouth and suddenly the room feels too hot, too small. You needed a distraction before you slid off the couch onto your knees and had Matty for breakfast instead.

“You know, this is two meals now that you’ve gotten takeout for.” You comment off handedly, glancing up at the older man as you take a sip from your coffee before teasing him. “Are you as incapable in the kitchen as you are in the bedroom?”

Matty barks out a laugh, shaking his head softly, his curls with it. The ice and condensation from his own cup makes his hand cold and wet as it settles back over your thigh, his blunt fingernails digging softly into the flesh as he fixes you with a pointed look.

“I think you and I both know how capable I am in the bedroom.” Matty counters and you roll your eyes to deflect from the way such a simple action already had heat climbing up your spine. “Just as capable as I am in the kitchen, by the way.” He tacks on, shrugging. “I was actually planning on cooking for you tonight, way to ruin the surprise.”

You swallow another bite of your bagel, rolling your eyes and huffing out a sarcastic, “Oh, I’m so sure.” that earns you another dig of fingernails into your thigh, harsher this time.

“I was.” Matty defends and you fix him with an unimpressed look in return that he rolls his eyes at. “I couldn’t wine and dine you on your first night here,” Matty explains, nudging his shoulder against your own as he shoots you a wink. “then you’d have no reason to stay.”

“I mean, I could think of a few reasons.” You tease, giving his frame a quick once over that he snorts at.

“Cheeky.” Matty emphasizes by squeezing your thigh and christ, you couldn’t wait to finish your fucking bagel so you could devour him instead. “So, do you have any dinner requests?” He tilts his head slightly, the corners of his mouth twitching as he asks. “Anything you’re craving?”

And you find it difficult to think about what you wanted him to cook you for dinner when the only thing you craved was sitting right next to you.

—

Morning turned to night faster than you had realized, hard to keep up with the time when you had spent your entire Sunday afternoon being thrown around and bent over any and every available surface throughout Matty’s apartment.

In the kitchen when the two of you grew peckish mid afternoon and Matty looked through the fridge for all of thirty seconds before hoisting you up on the counter and devouring you instead. On the living room floor when Matty deemed the couch too small for the position he wanted to bend you in. Against the window that provided a beautiful view of Manhattan you saw through a blurred vision as Matty fucked you from behind. Under the steady, steamy stream of hot water in the shower as Matty held you up against the tiled wall and made you filthy one last time before leaving you to clean up while he kept his promise and made your requested dinner, penne alla vodka.

And that’s where you sat now, fresh out of the shower, sitting at the small table that only sat two and was tucked away in the corner of his kitchen. Your hair was still wet and scented like Matty’s shampoo, just the same as your skin smelled of his body wash. An old band tee of his swallows your frame and completely covers his boxers that you were wearing as shorts beneath the cotton.

It was dizzying, being so enveloped by Matty, Matty, Matty. His clothes, his scent, his heated stare that burned against your skin now as you lick some of the pasta sauce from your fork.

Matty hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off of you all night, not since you stepped out of the bathroom and he first caught sight of you. He nearly dropped the plate of pasta he had prepared for you onto the linoleum floor as he froze in place when looked at you for the first time, his mouth parted slightly as his dark eyes wandered over your bare face, your wet hair, lingering on the hem of his t-shirt that fell to the middle of your thighs.

You couldn’t help but feel as though something in the air shifted between the two of you in that moment, as if Matty took one look at you fresh out of the shower and had some big life-altering epiphany, something you could still see churning in his mind all throughout dinner.

Or maybe you were completely off base and Matty’s “life-altering epiphany” was that he had forgotten to turn the stove off and the gleam in his eye that hadn’t stopped twinkling each and every time you spoke was just a result of the wine glass sporting an argentinian malbec that he had already downed half of.

“Fashion school?” Matty gasps out, nearly choking on his pasta, his thick eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he rests his elbows against the kitchen table and leans in closer to you as if you were letting him in on some big secret.

“Fashion school.” You repeat through a slow nod. “The Fashion Institute of Technology, actually.” You feel the need to clarify, tipping your own wine glass up into an imaginary toast before bringing it up to your lips and taking a big swig to numb the painful sting you always got when you talked about it. “It’s always been my dream.”

Matty’s dark eyes squint at you slightly, you could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he processes this newfound information about you, pushing his plate softly out of the way to provide more room for his arms to rest comfortably on the table as his head tilts to the side out of curiosity.

“Well, if fashion school was always the dream, then how the fuck did you end up working at an office in Manhattan?” Matty couldn’t help but ask, his eyes full of bewilderment as he tries to make a connection between the two very vastly different life paths. And maybe it’s the way your face falls at his question or maybe it’s all the wine coursing through his veins that stops him from finding a better way to ask, “You didn’t get in?”

“I mean, it’s better than working at an office in Montauk, right?” You try to joke but it lands flat. Matty fixes you with a pointed look and you sigh before taking a rather large swig of the wine that he had poured you earlier, gulping it down and dropping your eyes down to the leftover pasta on your plate as you quietly admit with a shrug. “I never applied.”

“You never-” Matty cuts himself off to shake his head out of disbelief. “What?” The word falls off his tongue in astonishment, his eyes zeroed in on you as his thick brows furrow in confusion. “How are you supposed to get in if you never apply?”

You hum, swallowing some more wine that lingers on your lips afterward for your tongue to peek out and lick up while Matty’s eyes fall to watch the show. “They can’t reject me if I don’t put myself out there.”

And with the beat of silence that hangs in the air between the two of you, you couldn’t help but wonder if Matty had picked up on the double meaning of your words. It didn’t matter if it was work, college, or him - rejection terrified you.

“That’s bullshit.” Matty scoffs, rolling his eyes as he leans back in his seat and crosses his arms over his chest. “They would be fucking mad to reject you.” Matty insists and you can’t help but hold onto hope that maybe he was hinting at the same thing you were. “I mean, look at you.” Matty emphasized by his dark eyes roaming your face, your body. “You’re young, you’re smart, you’re hot.” He throws in a quick wink, shrugging. “You’re the whole package, why wouldn’t they want you?”

“I don't know, why don’t you?” The question falls off your tongue before your mind is even able to process what you were saying first, the wine swallowed down your throat had clearly removed your filter. “Oh my god.” You gasp, wide eyed and frozen in place as you watch Matty’s face fall softly. “I-I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know why I just said that.” You shake your head quickly, unblinking, forcing a laugh out. “I think it’s time to cut myself off.”

You place the wine glass on the table in front of you with a shaky hand, terrified of looking at the older man out of fear that you had just ruined the entire weekend the two of you had been having, practically kicking yourself as the silence lingers in the air.

Your name falls off Matty’s tongue in a voice that isn’t much more than a whisper and the sound of it alone has you quick to wave him off, shaking your head as you stare at the glass full of wine that had betrayed you.

“I-It’s okay.” You insist with a racing heart that threatens to beat out of your chest. “Can we just forget that I said that?” You ask through a laugh that surely sounded as forced as it was, emphasizing. “Please?”

Matty repeats your name again with a little more urgency this time but you’re quick to talk over him, not daring to let him get a word in out of fear that he was about to tell you to leave, terrified of rejection.

“So, what are your hopes and dreams?” You try to change the subject, grabbing your fork just so you’d have something to do with your hands, picking at the pasta left on your plate as you fight to save yourself. “I mean I’m sure you didn’t plan on working at an office in Manhattan either.” You try to tease but it falls flat. “What did you want to do with your life?”

Matty says your name for a third and final time, leaving no room for an argument as he leans over the table to place a hand over your own that had been holding the fork. You freeze immediately, the warmth from his hand over your own spreads all the way up your arm and springs tears to swell in your eyes that you’re quick to fight off, already embarrassed enough as it is.

“I’m sor-” Matty attempts an apology but you’re quick to shut him down.

“Please don’t do this.” You practically beg, your bottom lip trembling as you fight to hold in the tears that were already blurring your vision, nearly falling down your cheeks when Matty’s thumb rubs the back of your hand in soothing circles. “Please, I-I can’t do this right now.”

“I have to do this right now.” Matty argues, his voice holds the same sense of urgency as your own, practically pleading as his hand squeezes your own. “Please look at me.”

And you couldn’t help the way your eyes immediately squeeze shut to avoid meeting his own, knowing how quick they would be to betray you.

Matty lets go of your hand and you hear the unmistakable sound of a chair sliding against the linoleum flooring, your heart pounds against your ribcage as you hear footsteps approaching until your own chair is being pulled back away from the table far enough for Matty to fall to his knees in front of you, taking both of your hands in his own and practically begging.

“Baby, please look at me.” Matty's voice is as soft and careful as his hands that hold your own, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of your hands to try and coax you into opening your eyes.

And you do, hard not to when the older man was asking you to, you could count on one hand the amount of times you’d ever told him no. That’s how you got into this mess in the first place.

You open your eyes slowly and curse the way your heart immediately jumps at the sight of him kneeling in front of you, how close he was to you now, how unbelievably pretty he was like this. It made your chest ache.

His eyes were wide with an emotion you couldn’t quite read while he squeezes your hand when he notices how wet your own are, how your bottom lip was quivering, how you were seconds away from letting every pent up emotion from the past ten months spew out of you.

“I’m sorry.” Matty says earnestly, his own voice full of emotion and you could practically see the wheels turning in his mind as he fights to find the words to convey the thoughts whirling around in his head. “I am so sorry for the way I have treated you these past ten months. I-I’ve been such a dick and I-“

“You haven’t-“ You try to cut in with a weak defense but Matty isn't having it.

“I have.” He interjects with a small nod, squeezing your hands softly. “You can say it. You- fuck, you deserve to say it.“ Matty scoffs out a laugh. “I’ve been so caught up in what I want, so selfish this whole time that I-I didn’t even realize that I was making you feel that way. And I hate that you feel like that because I-“

Matty stops himself and you cling onto the silence, desperate to know where this sentence was going, sure that it had changed its course from the way he inhaled deeply before speaking again.

“I know that I have done a pretty shit job at showing it, but I do want you.” Matty nods, his hands squeezing your own softly as he shifts on his knees in front of you. “A-And not like that, I mean, of course I want you like that too but-“ Matty spirals through an explanation that you couldn’t help but giggle through and his eyes practically beam to see you smile. “But I meant that I want you for more than just sex.” He explains and your heart can’t help but race. “Having you here this weekend has made me realize how badly I never want you to leave.”

“Matty-“ His name falls off your tongue in a breathless, your heart practically beating out of your chest as his confession swirls around in your mind.

“I’m serious.” Matty insists, his dark eyes never wavering. “I-I want to spend my nights sitting on the couch eating takeout together.” And the memory of the two of you swapping takeout containers to try each other's food, reading fortune cookies and arguing over who has the better future swirls in your mind. “I want to walk eleven blocks to your favorite coffee shop o-or bagel place just because it’ll make you smile.”

“You didn’t walk.” You remind him, desperate to distract from the way a fresh batch of tears were swelling in your eyes at his words. “You drove.”

“Which is arguably harder to do in New York.” Matty points out and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes softly, something he smiles at, interlocking his fingers with your own as he continues. “I want to cook your favorite dinner, I want to share a bottle of wine until we’re tipsy, I-I want to wake up next to you.” And your world nearly stops spinning. “Today, tomorrow, next week. Hell, next year if you’ll have me. I just- I want you. I-I want to be with you.” He clarifies, his voice full of emotion. “All the time.”

“Matty-“ You attempt to get a word in with the same breathless, overwhelmed tone from before but Matty is quick to talk over you.

“And I know it might be hard for you to believe me because I’ve been making unkept promises for ten months now, but I-I swear to you that I am going to break up with her.” Matty nods, his own dark eyes full of an unknown emotion that you couldn’t quite pinpoint, maybe it was fear of you walking out of his apartment or something different all together. Your eyes fall down and he’s quick to move his head back into the line of your vision, speaking softer now as he promises. “Hey, I am. I swear to you that I am.” His voice is full of desperation now. “When she comes home tomorrow from her trip, I’m ending it with her. I promise.”

“Matty.” You couldn’t help but scoff, rolling your eyes softly as you fight to not believe him this time, having been let down more times than you could count at this point. “Do you realize how many times you’ve made this exact promise to me?” You couldn’t help but remind him, the pain clear in your tone. “How many times that you’ve broken it?”

“I know.” Matty sighs, his eyes falling shut for a second before falling back on you more red than before. “And I’m sorry for never following through but I swear to you that I am serious this time.” Matty insists and you hated the way you believed him. “I’m serious about this.” Matty squeezes your hand, his dark eyes falling down to the sight. “About us.” He continues, trailing his eyes back to meet your own before whispering. “About you.”

And while you have been waiting for Matty to confess something like this for nearly a year now, you couldn’t help but feel hesitant to believe him. You had fallen victim to trusting him so many times now that you didn’t know if you could handle being let down again, not after this weekend, not after his confession.

“How do I know you’re being honest this time?” You couldn’t help but ask, emotion clear in your whispered tone, a stray tear betraying you to fall down your cheek and quickly be captured by Matty’s thumb.

“You’re just going to have to trust me.” Matty says simply and your heart falls at the realization that it’s truly all you could do, trust him, even after all the months of him never following through. “Trust that I’m serious about you, that I want you.” His thumb rubs your cheek soothingly, his dark eyes pinned to your own as he promises. “Only you.”

You nod, swallowing down a lump in your throat as you fall victim to trusting him yet again. “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.” Matty confirms, shifting on his knees below you so he could bring his face closer to yours, his eyes falling down to your lips for a split second before finding your own again. “I promise.”

And for once, you actually believed him, wholeheartedly. His whispered promise practically breathed a new life into you as his eyes fell down to your lips yet again, entranced by the way they quiver softly to hold back the emotion dying to pour out of you.

Like a moth to a flame, Matty starts to lean in and before you’re even able to realize that what you’ve been waiting so long for was finally happening, his lips were pressing against your own in a kiss, a real one this time. Not a filthy kiss that was more teeth and tongue than anything else, not a kiss smothering your mouth just to keep your moans at bay, a real kiss that was tender and soft and full of emotion.

It was the first time that he had ever kissed you outside of sex and you felt as though you were on top of the world, time frozen in place with his lips pressed against your own, feeling as though a bucket of cold water had been poured all over you when he pulled back.

You stay frozen in place, terrified to move even an inch out of fear that he might come to his senses and kick you out of his apartment, a fear that he might regret even doing it at all.

The two of you stare at one another for a beat, panting in the silence and before you can even open your mouth to say something, anything to make him stay, both of his hands are grabbing your face and pulling you in for another kiss that was a little more desperate than the first.

Matty’s lips melt against your own and knocks the air from your lungs, a kiss that takes your breath away and the two of you quickly fall into a mindless rhythm that you quickly get lost in, feeling as though you had been kissing for hours when in reality it couldn’t have been for more than a minute as his hands hold your face steady throughout it all.

And suddenly, nothing mattered.

It didn’t matter that you were playing house for the weekend in the apartment he shared with his girlfriend, it didn’t matter that Matty had been stringing you along for ten months, it didn’t matter what happened when tomorrow came because right now he was kissing you and it was real and you believed him.

Matty slowly stands up from his place on the floor and you follow suit, never breaking the kiss as his hands trail from your face down to your waist, squeezing there softly before hoisting you up until your legs are wrapped around him.

You couldn’t help but silently admire the skillful way Matty blindly walks the two of you through his apartment, not bumping into anything along the way until he’s pressing your back against a door to kiss you with a little more fever, his tongue tangling with your own as he supports you with one arm while the other fumbles around with the knob until the door you’re pressed against is opening and the two of you are stumbling through it.

Your fingers thread through Matty’s curls as he walks you through the threshold and it doesn’t take you long to realize the two of you are in the one room in the house you hadn’t christened yet, his bedroom, their bedroom. A room that had silently seemed to be off limits the entire weekend until now.

Your suspicions are confirmed when Matty’s knees hit the mattress and he lays you down softly over the duvet, so careful and gentle with the way that he was handling you that it was hard not to swoon. Matty settles over your frame and it’s impossible to even think about how many times a certain blonde had been in this same position in this very bed when he was kissing you like this.

The way he tangles his tongue with your own, moaning into your mouth as your fingers thread through his hair, squeezing your legs around his waist when his teeth bites at your lower lip.

You’ve wanted him like this for so long, slow and real, in a bed. It was a complete contrast to how you normally had him, quick and hidden, bent over a desk. It was impossible for this to feel like any of the other times before when everything was completely different this time around, not when you had all the time in the world to hold him, to feel him.

Matty’s lips break away from your own and you couldn’t help but whine through a pout that crumbles at the feeling of his nose nudging your chin to the side to give him access to your neck that he couldn’t wait to litter with open mouth kisses.

Your fingers tug softly on his hair now as his warm mouth trails slowly down the side of your neck, his curls tickling your chin as he licks and sucks softly over your pulse point. You could only hope he couldn’t feel the way your heart was hammering as his teeth grazed softly over the area before digging in and soothing it with his tongue.

It doesn’t take long for his hands to become greedy, holding himself up with one pressed next to your head as the other trails down the side of your body until it slips beneath the hem of his shirt you were wearing.

Your body jolts at the feeling of his cold fingertips against your heated skin, your stomach convulsing slightly as he runs his hand up past your belly button, taking the cotton material with him until it's pulled up to your chin. His calloused fingertips are quick to rub softly over your hardened bud and you can’t help but moan softly at the pleasure already coursing through your veins.

Matty becomes addicted to the sound and is determined to pull it out of you again, trailing open mouth kisses down from your neck and over the shirt he had pulled up to your chin until his lips were wrapping around your other nipple in a way that pulls a gasp from your throat.

You give Matty’s curls a sharp tug as his tongue swirls over the bud in tandem with his calloused fingertips rolling over your other. It didn't take long for you to become a squirming, whimpering mess underneath him, squeezing your legs around his waist in hopes that it would make him hurry up and give you what you really wanted.

But it doesn’t, Matty doesn’t take the bait. He listens to you whine, feels you squirm, endures you pulling on his hair and takes it all in stride while he continues to unravel you slowly with every swipe of his tongue and pinch of his fingers over your nipples.

You hold the back of Matty’s head while he takes his time sucking on your tits, his warm tongue swirling slowly over your peaked bud before sucking it into his mouth and pulling back until it falls from his mouth with a pop. His teeth graze over your sensitive bud until your legs are shaking around his waist only for him to bite down softly and quickly soothe it with his tongue when you gasp at the pain, using his tongue as a guide to lead him to the other side and start the process all over again.

“Matty.” You sigh, holding onto his curls tightly as he switches between your tits for what felt like the hundredth time, your core throbbing desperately as you make an attempt to pull him away only for him to groan and stand his ground. “Please, I-I need you.”

Matty smiles at that, his lips spreading into a wide blown grin as his tongue swirls over your sensitive nipple and your legs squeeze around his waist at the feeling, desperate for some relief between them.

He pulls off with a wet pop, panting above you with swollen lips and dark eyes that makes your stomach flip.

“You don’t have to beg for me, baby.” Matty’s voice was deep, rough, it shoots straight down to your core. “Not tonight.” He leans down to graze his teeth over your nipple before wrapping his lips around it and sucking until your fingers tangled in his curls are pulling sharply. “I’ll give you whatever you want.” He mumbles over the bud and you shiver at the sensation. “But don’t rush me, let me take my time with you first.”

And you couldn’t help but whine at the thought of him wanting to take his time with you for once. You’d only ever had him quick, fast, rushed. It was almost as if he always fixed himself with a challenge on how many times he could make you fall apart before someone in the office noticed one of you was missing. You never had the time to just enjoy him, enjoy the pleasure he was providing, always on the brink of another high that he was chasing.

Matty indulges in your tits for a minute more before his mouth pulls away in favor of trailing down your stomach, his hands sliding down your sides to hook fingertips beneath the waistband of his boxers that you were wearing as his teeth graze just beneath your belly button before he places a sloppy kiss there.

Your legs fall naturally over his shoulders as he settles onto his stomach on the mattress and you were already squirming on top of the duvet just from the feeling of Matty pulling his boxers down your legs. He tosses the navy plaid cotton off to the side to be forgotten about, focusing all his attention on your dripping core and the way your thighs tremble around his head when he blows air over the wetness.

You couldn’t help but whine, your back arching off of the mattress slightly as your fingertips find a home in his curls once more, tugging softly in a silent plea for him to do something with you already, the ache between your legs already becoming too much to handle.

Matty kisses the inside of your thigh, trailing an open mouthed trail to the apex and skipping where you wanted him most all together before going to the other side and repeating the action. His teeth dig into your flesh every now and then, only when your guard is down so he can relish in the way your body jolts from the pain before he soothes it all away with his tongue.

He sucks bruises into your inner thigh, a little keepsake as a reminder of who you belonged to when this little weekend was over and you had to go back to reality. You squirm from the pain mixed pleasure of Matty sucking possessive bruises all over your inner thighs that you could only hope wouldn’t fade for weeks. And with the way Matty’s teeth were biting your flesh to ensure they’d stick, you were almost certain you’d have the souvenir for a while.

When Matty deems his work satisfactory, he blows over your core once more, grinning at the way you whine at the feeling before finally taking pity on you and flattening his tongue to lick a thick strip between your folds. You couldn’t help but gasp at the jolt of pleasure that shoots through you, your fingers already curling in Matty’s hair to keep him in place, ensuring that he wouldn’t be able to tease you and pull away.

Matty moans against your cunt, already diving in for more in a way that pulls a moan from your throat. You were so used to the way he’d normally be quick to suck your clit into his mouth and abuse your pleasure until you were quickly falling apart that the feeling of him taking his time with you, exploring your core and avoiding your clit at all costs had you feeling rather impatient.

You knock your thigh against his cheek, a pitiful whine pulled from your throat as you practically beg for him to devour you, the desire for the man who had nearly promised you the world was eating you alive and you wanted Matty to be the one to do it instead.

Matty’s tongue flicks through your folds once or twice more before he’s pulling away with a wet mouth, dark eyes and a self satisfied smirk spread over his glistening face.

“What’s the rush, baby?” Matty coos, blowing over your core once more and you shiver at the sensation. “We have all night.”

You can’t help but whine and tug on his curls, desperate to bring Matty back between your thighs and make him relieve some of the pressure he had built there, the insistent throb in your core was mind numbing and all consuming.

“I-I don’t want to wait.” You practically whimper, swallowing thickly at the feeling of his tongue licking softly over your pussy as you try to form a coherent thought. “I want you now.”

“Baby.” Matty nearly pouts, pressing a sweet kiss to your swollen clit and your body jolts at the pleasure, grateful for the attention after the way he’d been avoiding it so far. His deep voice mumbles against your core as he teases. “I need to teach you some patience.”

“You told me you weren’t going to make me beg for it.” Your breathless tone throws his words right back in his face, swallowing down a moan when his tongue flattens and licks through your wet core, moaning at the taste of you and your eyes roll back softly at the realization. “N-Not tonight.”

Matty hums, swirling his tongue over your sensitive clit before his swollen lips wrap around the bundle of nerves and sucks softly in a way that pulls a pitiful whine from your throat, your thighs tightening around his head at the sensation until he pulls away and you’re able to catch your breath.

“And I won’t make you beg for it, sweetheart.” Matty coos, pressing another sweet kiss to your clit in a way that makes you shiver. “But shouldn’t I get what I want too?” Matty rests his head against your thigh, staring up at you with dark eyes that gleam with danger and his pretty pink lips pursed in a pout that makes your stomach flip at the sight. “I just want to taste you baby, you taste so fucking good.” Matty groans, rolling his head back down between your thighs to dive back in, mumbling against your cunt. “I always have to rush when you’re under me, let me take my time for once.”

And who were you to argue with that? Not when Matty’s head was back between your thighs and unraveling you slowly with every swipe of his tongue, every graze of his teeth, every suck of his lips.

Matty had eaten you out more times than you could count at this point, you’d almost argue that his head had been between your thighs more than his cock by now, he had always been one to enjoy going down on you. But he had never eaten your pussy like this. Slow, methodical, intentional with every swipe of his tongue.

He knew just what to do to make you whine, squirm, tug on his curls from the pleasure his tongue was providing and he was in no rush this time around. It was almost as though he was savoring your taste, relishing in your moans, truly taking his time to pull every moan and whimper from your throat and make you unravel from the inside out.

Minutes dragged by like hours and it didn’t take long for you to completely lose track of time, fully succumbing to the pleasure of Matty’s head between your thighs as he drags out your pleasure with every swirl of his tongue, you were surprised that his jaw hadn’t locked up yet from all his hard work.

His dark eyes stare up at you through his long lashes to watch every gasp that falls from your loose jaw, every twist of your face screwed in pleasure when he sucks on your clit, every roll of your eyes that only tints your cheeks into a deeper shade of pink. He was addicted to the sight of you, to the sound of you as he slowly drove you closer and closer to the edge.

Matty was fighting to take his time as his hips rolled against the mattress to relieve some of the pressure between his own thighs, his hands hook around your hips to help hold you in place and his blunt fingernails dig into your flesh as his cock drags against the mattress and he can’t help but groan against you at the feeling of pleasure and relief.

You moan at the vibrations from his mouth that roll through you, too consumed by your own pleasure to even realize that Matty was getting off to the action of eating your pussy, your eyes screwed shut as you focus on the way his nose rubs at your clit as his tongue fucks into you.

You were panting, eyes rolled back and fingers curled tightly in his grey-streaked hair as the pleasure blooms through your stomach and climbs up your spine, you desperately chase the feeling with hips that roll against Matty’s face in a way that he’d normally scold you for.

But not right now, no. Tonight, he wouldn’t deny you of anything.

“Oh my god.” You couldn’t help but sigh as you tug on his curls a little harsher, your body practically melting against the mattress from the feeling of his tongue curling inside of you. “F-Fuck.”

Matty smiles against your core and you can’t help but whimper at the feeling, tugging on his curls softly in a way that makes him groan into you and his hips roll down harder on the mattress beneath him, hard enough this time for you to realize what he was doing. The action makes you dizzy, makes you crave him that much more, it makes you jealous of a fucking mattress and desperate to take its place.

“More.” You whimper through a bottom lip that quivered, your back arching off the mattress when the heat burning through your veins grows to be too much to handle. “M-Matty, I need more.” You begged even though he had told you twice already that you didn’t even need to, but with the way his painfully slow pace was driving you mad had you feeling as though it was necessary. “Need you.” You swallow thickly, sweat collecting at your hairline as you pant your way through the pleasure Matty’s tongue was providing. “Please.”

Matty groans against your cunt, his blunt fingernails digging so harshly into your hips that it was sure to leave crescent moons behind as his tongue pulls out of you in favor of licking up the slit and swirling around your clit once before sucking it into his mouth in a filthy way that makes your back arch off the bed in a long drawn out moan ripped from your throat.

“Fuck.” You choke out, your face screwed tightly in pleasure as your hips jolt from the feeling of your clit falling from Matty’s mouth only to be abused by his tongue swirling around and around until you felt as though you were dizzy and disoriented. “Matty, t-that’s enough.”

You try to scold but it comes out breathless and dazed as you tug sharply on Matty’s curls in an attempt to pull him out from your thighs but the older man doesn’t budge, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking once more in a way that makes your eyes roll back.

“Come on, I- fuck.” You whine, knocking your thigh against his cheek and tugging on his curls once more in yet another failed attempt to pull him out of your thighs, the pain only makes his own hips roll down onto the mattress and the sight makes you that much more desperate to have him inside of you. “S-Stop.”

The beg falls off your tongue in a breathless tone and while Matty is quick to comply, it doesn’t stop his dark eyes from staring up at you through furrowed brows that conveyed the confusion he felt, surely able to tell how close you were and unable to figure out why you were stopping him from sending you over the edge.

“I-I want you to fuck me, Matty, please.” You practically plead through a whine and his nails dig in harshly at the sound, as if he was fighting to control himself from throwing your legs over his shoulder and pounding you into the mattress. But he doesn’t, he holds off and it drives you crazy. “I need you to fuck me, need to feel you, p-please, wanna cum on your cock.”

Matty groans against your cunt and gives one final suck to your clit before pulling his head out from between your thighs and you nearly whimper at the sight of him. The way his face glistens in the low light of the bedroom, the way his eyes are blown wide with lust, his cheeks flushed red from the lack of air and his hair is disheveled from the way your fingers tugged and pulled on his grey-streaked locks as he devoured you.

He was unbelievably pretty like this.

It makes your stomach flip, your heart race, one look at him and you’re fisting his t-shirt and pulling him down into a filthy kiss that you couldn’t help but moan in when you tasted yourself on his tongue.

Your brain practically melts out of your ears as Matty massages his tongue against your own in a battle you both knew he’d end up winning, his canine teeth digging into your bottom lip to take with him when he pulls back until it pops back into place.

He only stays away from you long enough to take his shirt off and toss it across the room to be found later with his boxers he had taken off of you earlier before falling back into you, resuming the dizzying kiss that had you feeling as though you were floating.

Your hands roam freely over his bare chest as his lips slide against your own, your manicured nails digging softly into his chest as they trail down his stomach and Matty can’t help but groan into your mouth and shiver at the feeling, his hips rolling down against your core on instinct.

And while you know Matty had said how he wanted to take his time with you tonight, you were growing rather impatient. After the feelings he had confessed out in his kitchen and the way he had just unraveled you with his head between your thighs, you were more than ready to feel the stretch of him.

Your fingertips slipped beneath the waistband of the grey sweatpants he was wearing, tugging Matty’s own bottom lip between your teeth to stop him from scolding you for being so greedy as you blindly pulled the band down far enough to take him out of confinement.

You're quick to take hold of his length that was already hard and leaking precum from the tip that you couldn’t help but collect on your thumb and spread down the shaft as you pump him slowly, Matty crumbles and groans into your mouth at the feeling and you swallow the sound happily.

“Fuck.” Matty breaks away from your mouth to groan, his head falling between his shoulders and his curls brushing against your chin as he watches the show you were putting on for him. “S-Shit, baby, you have to stop or I’m gonna- fuck.”

A deep, guttural groan falls from Matty’s loose jaw when your thumb swipes over the tip and your hand slides down his length to squeeze at his base. His head comes out from between his shoulders in favor of tossing back in pleasure and baring his throat to you in a way that was all too tempting and impossible to ignore.

You couldn’t help but lean forward enough to kiss the middle of his neck softly, the moan he releases at the feeling only encourages you to trail your lips up the side and relish in the way his hips slowly start to thrust to meet the pump of your hand.

He nearly gets lost in the pleasure of it all before he swats your hand away and pulls back far enough that you couldn’t reach his neck anymore, you pout up at the older man with swollen lips that tempt him as he takes hold of himself and slowly pumps until he hisses from the pleasure.

“Matty.” His name falls off your tongue in a pitiful whimper, jealousy seeping through your veins as your core clenches from the sight of his own hand wrapped around his length, drunk on the sight of his eyes fluttering when his thumb swipes over the tip.

“I know, baby.” Matty nods, swallowing thickly as he spreads your legs a little wider. “I know.” He coos, taking hold of his base so he could run his tip through your wet core in a way that makes you swallow thickly before lining it up with you. “You ready?”

“I’m not a virgin.” You nearly scoff, would have if your voice wasn’t so breathless just from the feeling of his tip teasing at your entrance. “You wanna light some candles first?”

“Don’t I know it.” Matty rolls his eyes and leans forward enough to rest his left hand next to your head while his other remains at the base of his length while he mutters. “Fucking brat.”

And he doesn’t even give you the chance to spit back the snarky remark sitting at the tip of your tongue, quick to knock it loose into a long drawn out moan as he slowly starts to push inside of you. Your mouth falling open wider and wider with each and every inch you take, still not used to the burning stretch of him even after all this time, even after taking him round after round all weekend long.

Matty groans when he bottoms out, his face crumpled in pleasure as he holds still for a beat, taking a moment to catch his breath and stop himself from busting already just from the feeling of your warm cunt wrapped around him.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” Matty groans as if it physically pains him and you can’t help but clench around his length out of desperation for him to move.

“Matty.” You whine, squirming beneath the older man, the feeling of his still cock inside of you was quickly driving you mad. “Please, I-I need you to fuck me.”

“I know, baby, I’ve got you. I- fuck.” Matty groans as he pulls out of you slowly, so high on desperation that the smallest of movements made you both moan. “You have me.” Matty promises as he pulls out until just the tip remains before he thrusts back in just as slow. “You- fuck, baby. Y-You feel so fucking good, my god.”

And you weren’t quite sure if it was the wine still lazily coursing through your veins or the way Matty was staring down at you, but you couldn’t help but feel as though the stretch of him felt different this time than any of the others you had taken him.

Sure, Matty was more than well endowed, but you had never struggled taking him before. So you weren’t quite sure why you were gasping at the feeling of him thrusting inside of you, why your eyes were tearing up at the stretch of him, why staring into Matty’s eyes had you nearly ready to confess it all.

Your fingers thread in Matty’s dark hair and you’re quick to pull him down into another kiss to stop yourself from doing so. You were already one embarrassing confession deep with him tonight, you refused to give him another and reveal how deep your feelings for him really go.

Matty doesn’t complain, he melts into your mouth easily, his other hand resting on the other side of your head as he fucks into you slow and deep. You were so used to the brutal, animalistic pace that he usually fucked you with that this newfound rhythm had you squirming and trembling beneath him, able to feel him through every slow stroke he set you with.

You wrap your legs around his waist and squeeze softly, tugging on his hair just as much as he sucks on your tongue through a deep, long thrust that makes you whine into his mouth. You clench around his cock, desperate for a change of pace, the slow drag of his cock inside of you was agonizing and you needed more.

“F-Faster.” You beg, mumbled against his lips. “Please.”

Matty picks up the pace ever so slightly, fucking into you more properly now with a steady rhythm that makes you pull away from his mouth so you can moan freely at the pleasure it brings, nearly whimpering when two of Matty’s calloused fingertips trail between your thighs to give your swollen clit the attention it so desperately craves.

“Fuck.” You whine, your face screwed in pleasure as Matty fucks into you and swirls his fingers over your bundle of nerves until your eyes were rolling back and the breath you were panting in was stolen from your lungs. “Oh my god.”

“That’s it.” Matty coos, fucking you with deeper strokes that knocked a moan from your throat with each passing thrust. “There she is, there’s my girl.”

And Christ, you could have fallen apart right then and there just from the sound of him calling you his.

The hands you had threaded in Matty’s hair fall down to his cheeks, holding his face steady as you study each and every feature on his face. The freckles scattered over his nose, the perfectly curled ringlet that dangles in the middle of his forehead and bounces in tune with every thrust, the way his long eyelashes fan over his cheeks when they flutter shut from the feeling of you clenching around him, the way his dark eyes were roaming over your face as he fucked into you and made you wonder if he was studying your own just the same.

“You’re so pretty.” Matty mumbles quietly, as if he was letting you in on some secret, as if he hadn’t voiced the thought to you a hundred times before. But this time it felt different, it was different. Because this time he wasn’t telling you how pretty you looked bouncing on his cock, he was staring into your eyes and telling you how pretty you were for simply just breathing. “So beautiful, my baby.”

“Matty.” You whimper through a heart that flutters, through tears that swelled, through a core that clenched at the feeling of his fingers swirling tight circles over your swollen clit.

Your manicured nails dig softly into his cheeks for some form of purchase as you couldn’t help but feel dizzy and overwhelmed by everything Matty, Matty, Matty.

The way his cock was fucking into you at the perfect angle. The way his calloused fingertips rubbed heavenly circles over your clit and melted you into the mattress. The way his dark eyes were staring down at you as if he was properly seeing you for the first time. The way he hung onto every gasp, moan, whimper and whine that falls from your swollen lips as he fucked you senseless.

“Taking me so well.” Matty groans, turning his face to the side softly so he could press a kiss to your hand holding his cheek before continuing. “You- fuck.” Matty cuts himself off to choke out a moan. “You always take me so well, baby, fucking made for me.”

And oh, did you like the idea of that, being made specifically for Matty, being his. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.

“Matty, I-“ You start to confess but a moan rips from your throat and stops you from doing so. “I- oh, fuck.”

“I know.” Matty nods and your heart jumps at the idea of him already knowing what you couldn’t bring yourself to admit. “Me too.”

And god, you couldn’t do anything but hope that he actually knew the words on the tip of your tongue and wasn’t just assuming that you were about to say how close you were.

“That first night that I met you- fuck.” Matty groans, fucking into you deeper, slower now. “Y-You flipped my whole world upside down.” He admits through a face that crumbles in pleasure at the feeling of you clenching around him. “And ever since that night, y-you’re all I think about.” He moans, fighting to keep his composure as his dark eyes locked with your own through a thrust that knocks the air from your lungs. “You’re all that I want, the only girl that I want. Y-You’re everything- fuck.”

You can’t help the way your bottom lip quivers, the way your eyes swell with tears as the overwhelming emotion boils over and nearly spills out of you.

“Don’t cry, please don’t cry, baby.” Matty urges, leaning down to lick up a stray tear that had fallen down your cheek. “Too pretty to cry.”

“I-I’m sorry.” You whine, shaking your head softly and squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to will away the tears as you focus on the way he was fucking into you, the way his fingers were swirling over your bundles of nerves instead of the way your chest ached with an emotion you couldn’t bring yourself to admit. Even as it nearly pours out of you when you open your eyes to face him again. “I just- fuck. I-I just-“

“I know.” Matty emphasizes through a small nod that has you convinced he already knew the words you were trying to say and the realization only springs more tears to your eyes that fall down your cheeks for Matty to lick up. He kisses your cheek softly before trailing a path down to your lips that he pulled in for a tender kiss that you melt into and made you feel as though you could soar. “One more day, then you’re all mine.” He mumbles the promise against your lips before pulling back far enough to look you in the eye. “I promise.”

And you couldn’t help the long, drawn out moan that rips from your throat as his words wash over you, the statement having more effect on you than any other degrading filth he’d spewed at you in the past. So high up on cloud nine that you couldn’t find it in yourself to feel guilty unraveling in her bed as you counted down the seconds until Matty was all yours, until you belonged to him.

Matty crumbles into your neck, panting against your skin as he fucks you with a little more fever now, his tongue licking over the flesh before digging his canine teeth in the side of your neck and practically growling. “Mine.”

Your eyes roll back as your fingers tug on his hair for some form of purchase as he doubles his efforts over you, feeling as though your body was on fire from all the pleasure burning through your veins as you clench around him and pant your way through the mind numbing pace he was fucking you with.

“Fuck, I-I’m so fucking close, baby.” Matty groans against your neck, his hips stuttering inside of you before picking up in pace, his calloused fingertips following suit as he desperately tries to barrel you as close to the edge as he was. “You close, princess?”

You couldn’t do much more than respond with a pitiful whimper and a quick nod that would surely knot your hair against the duvet as Matty fucks you senseless.

“Yeah? You wanna cum all over my cock, baby?” Matty groans, his mouth growing filthier the closer and closer he gets to his high. His calloused fingertips swirling tight circles over your clit in a way that has sweat collecting at your hairline, desperate for a release that was already climbing up your spine. “Fuck, baby, you feel so fucking good.” He groans, deep and guttural. “Where do you want me?”

Blame it on the wine or the undeniable connection you felt to Matty right now, but you finally find it in yourself to ask for the one thing you’ve craved since the night you first met him.

“I-Inside.” You say in a voice barely above a whisper, only positive that Matty heard you by the way he groans and digs his teeth into your neck at the idea. “I-I want you to cum inside of me, Matty, please.”

Matty pulls away from your neck so he could get a good look at you, his dark eyes blown wide with lust and an unknown emotion gleaming in his eye as he pants above you and asks through a rough tone, “You sure?”

“Please.” You practically whine, squirming underneath him as you beg unashamed. “I-I’ve wanted it since the night I met you, p-please.” You admit and Matty groans, his hips stuttering and fingers zeroing in on your clit in a way that makes you gasp as you stare up into his dark eyes and plead, “Wanna feel you.”

“Fuck, baby.” Matty groans, deep and guttural as he fights to not fall apart right then and there. His hips stuttering as he stares down at you, taking in a deep breath to calm himself down before doubling his efforts over you, fucking you with a pace you were all too familiar with as his fingers swirl deliciously addicting circles over your swollen, sensitive clit. “Yeah? You want me to cum inside of you and make you all mine, baby?”

“Please.” You beg shamelessly, clenching around Matty’s cock in an effort to stop him from pulling out even though that method had never worked for you in the past. Your hands fall around his neck to dig manicured nails into his back as he fucks into you with fever now, desperate to send you both over he edge. “I-I want to be yours, Matty, make me yours.”

“Fuck.” Matty nearly whines through a pant, his hips stuttering once more and signaling that he was about to fall apart any second now. You could only clench around him tighter and hope that he’d keep his promise from earlier of giving you whatever you wanted tonight as he fucks both of you closer and closer to a high he was chasing for the both of you. “I’m so- fuck, you feel so fucking good. Y-You’re so tight, so perfect- shit, baby.” Matty praises and you practically preen as it washes over you. “I love fucking you, love your pussy, love- fuck, I-I love you.” Matty confesses through a pathetic whine that makes your entire world stop spinning while his own was whirling faster and faster down the spiral of his release. “I- oh my god, I-I’m so fucking close, baby, fuck. I-I’m gonna- oh god, I’m gonna fucking- ah!”

It’s all the warning you get before Matty is spilling inside of you and finally giving you what you wanted after all these months, filling you to the brim and making you his. The feeling of him cumming inside of you is enough to send you over the edge, your fingernails digging into his back as your high crashes into you at the same time as his own in an orgasm stronger than ever before, something Matty is determined on dragging out as he continued to fuck and swirl through every tremble of your body until you’re weightless on the mattress underneath him.

“Fuck me.” Matty groans as he falls into you, not even bothering to pull out as he rests his forehead against your own and pants in tune with you, both of you fighting to catch a breath that Matty steals right back out of your lungs when he leans down to kiss you once more.

It’s quick, but it’s enough to make your heart race, your mind whirling in a constant state of repeating the way Matty’s voice had groaned I love you, I love you, I love you as you stare up at him and try to convince yourself that you had just misheard him.

You had to have misheard him, right?

Matty whistles, laughing softly. “That was-“

“Yeah.” You cut Matty off in a breathless tone and your heart flutters as you watch the smile slowly break out on the older man’s face. I love you, I love you, I love you.

And while everything inside of you is screaming for you to talk about it, to ask if he really meant it, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it because what if he didn’t even say it at all?

“I should give you wine more often.” Matty teases, leaning down to kiss the tip of your nose before shooting you a wink. “You’re actually well behaved when you’re tipsy.”

And oh, maybe this was his way of letting you down easy. Maybe those three words were spoken through a tipsy haze and he realized his mistake now that he had come down from his high.

And even though your chest aches at the thought, his voice still plays on a constant loop in your mind. I love you, I love you, I love you.

“I’m not tipsy.” You roll your eyes, squeezing your leg around his waist. “Guess that means I’m not a brat after all.” You smile brightly and it’s Matty's turn to roll his eyes. “And I should give you wine more often.” You tease, bopping a finger against his nose in a way that makes him scrunch it. “You actually lasted longer than normal, so I suppose you can cancel that viagra subscription.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Matty snorts, nipping his teeth at the finger you had just used to bop his nose with. I love you, I love you, I love you. “And I’m not tipsy either.” He confirms and oh, maybe this was his way of trying to gauge if you had heard what he said, a way for him to let you know that he meant it if you had. If he wasn’t tipsy then he had to have meant it, right? “I lasted longer than I normally do because I didn’t have to worry about Thomas or Luke walking in on us, thank you very much.”

“Oh, I’d love for Luke to walk in on us.” You can’t help but tease, clenching softly around his cock that was still inside of you at the sight of his face immediately hardening at the mention of the boy from the office who was around your age, the one who followed you around the office like a lost puppy and drove Matty wild. “Maybe he’d be down for a threesome, you think?”

“I think you should shut that pretty mouth of yours before you get yourself into trouble.” Matty spits back with a raised eyebrow that has thrill shooting up your spine. I love you, I love you, I love you. “Got my cum spilling out of you and you want to make jokes.” Matty scoffs, holding onto your hip as he pulls out of you slowly, both of you hissing at the loss of one another. “And that’s why you are, in fact, a brat.”

“You love it.” You throw back, giving him the perfect opportunity to repeat what he had said earlier, practically daring him too. Your mind is already repeating it in his voice on a constant loop. I love you, I love you, I love you.

“I love fucking it out of you.” Matty clarifies, rolling his eyes in response and you can’t help the way your shoulders deflate in disappointment.

But the way Matty's eyes sparkled as he stared at you now was more than enough confirmation that you hadn't misheard him, that he had in fact confessed the three words that you couldn’t seem to get out of your head. I love you, I love you, I love you. And as desperately as you wanted to talk to him about it now, you were more than sure that you were well past the window of opportunity to bring it up naturally.

All you could do was wait until he confessed those feelings for you again, hoping that it wouldn’t take him too long, if he ever did again at all.

Matty glances down between your thighs and crumbles through a guttural groan ripped from his throat at the sight of his cum spilling out of you.

“Fuck, baby.” Matty moans, his eyes glued to the filthy sight. “Look at you.” He coos, running two fingers through his cum that dripped out of you, collecting it on his fingers before pushing them inside of you. A pitiful whine rips from your throat at the feeling, your pussy sensitive and fluttering still from the high you were still coming down from. “What a filthy fucking girl you are.” Matty delivers the degrading sentence as if it’s praise and you preen just as much, clenching around his fingers that fuck his cum back inside of you. “Someone should clean you up.”

And as Matty makes his way back down between your thighs, kissing over the bruises and bite marks he had left behind earlier and leaving new ones in the gaps, those three words he had confessed whirl around in your mind on a constant loop while Matty devours you once again.

You’re succumbed to nothing but teeth, tongue, I love you, I love you, I love you and that gnawing remorse for not saying it back.

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