I’m having a moment. I remember when I was so in love with this guy and he invited me to a bal at amazura in Jamaica. I went all alone. I drove my dad’s car. He came With his friends.
He was never really into me, never really respected me.. let alone took me seriously. I couldn’t see it then but my daddy issues allowed it all. At every chance I was given, I jumped at the occasion to see him.
After the bal, he hopped into his car with his friends and left me there on the City sidewalk at 1 am to walk to the car that I believe was parked 2 blocks away all alone. I knew it wasn’t right but I didn’t know I would spend the next 2 hours walking in pain from stewpot 4 inch heels trying to locate my car.
I searched and searched and searched. All alone, in a sleeveless, revealing, mini dress, I roamed the streets of Jamaica Queens after a club party trying to find my car.
After about 2 hours.. a man in white showed up, he only spoke Spanish. Through the tiny bit of Spanish I could muster up, He asked me if I needed help, and began to help me look for the car. We looked for about 2 minutes, turned a corner and there it was… it was when I was leaving, I asked him for his name ..
I made it home safely that night. The guy who I was so in love with never called to check that I did.
I remember barely being able to open my eyes on my 35th birthday because every time I opened them, the tears would immediately swell and run down my face like rain on a car window. I was SOOOO sad. I was so sad. I was SO sad.
After letting 35 phone calls go to voicemail, not being able to answer one… I convinced myself that if I went out, I would be forced to stop crying. So I got all dolled up and took myself to Perch in Dtla.
I sat at a table alone & could NOT stop Crying. I was so sad. I had to keep going to the bathroom to have mini break downs. Eventually I sat at the bar. There was a girl to my right. We struck up a convo and I told her it was my bday. She insisted that I joined her at a table for a bday dinner. As we ate, we shared our life stories and what led up to us being there, each solo that night. She treated me to my 35th birthday dinner.
I guess I was never truly alone. God always came through a stranger.