Your Idol sign is B! @thenextbestidol - Tumblr Blog

KAngel, or rather, Ame, had developed a keen eye when it came to recognize people. It wasn't even because of watching people online -although it partially helped-, but through the phases of survival in her life, she's learnt to be somewhat hyper alert when dealing with people outside her home.

She didn't say anything, anyway, acting naturally as she would do with any other fan, but smiling brighter than she would when face to face with…an older male fan, for example.

"Seeing the good reception this song had, I was planning on doing some more…but don't tell anyone, okay?~" She leaned closer to the blonde to whisper that in a secretive voice, looking to the sides to make sure no one suspected anything.

Leaning back with an even wider smile, she waited patiently for Ruby to make her decision on the CD's autograph, though, and it was only once she gave her answer, that the internet angel's eyes opened wide once again, this time in confirmation of her suspicions, more than anything.

There was no way that this was only a coincidence…the woman in front of her had to be Ruby, from B-Komachi- but what did she do to catch the attention of an idol like her?

Truly, if KAngel continued like this, her popularity was going to skyrocket spectacularly, and even if Ame sometimes had the hopes and determination to become the best streamer there was, in reality that would be harder to achieve than she expected, specially with her mental health and her mood swings.

"I'll sign with something nice for you, then!" She tapped the permanent marker's end against her cheek for a moment, thinking of what she would write, but once she started writing and she noticed that Ruby wanted to give her something more in return, the streamer had to stop for a moment to stare at the little gift with wide eyes and surprise.

"Ah? A gift? For me?…" So far, most gifts she's gotten from fans were super-chats or stuff bought from her online wishlist…but it was actually the first time that someone came to her to gift something physically- something they made themselves.

Putting the marker down for a second, KAngel picked the bracelet, taking a small breath and immediately putting it in one of her wrists, carefully.

…if Ruby was to pay attention to detail, she would notice for a mere second that, the streamer's wrists were covered with self-harm scars. None recent, but…

She was quick to cover her wrist with her sleeves before looking back at the blonde, finishing the message on the CD.

"It's the first time someone gives me something like this…I'll keep it!" Her smile was genuine, and she felt a certain warmth in her chest that she rarely felt when coming to these places, stretching her arms to give the CD back to the idol.

"You're very cute, R-chan." She didn't want to say her name out loud, but in all honesty…Ruby had caught her interest completely, so she leaned in before the CD could be taken from her hands, so only the singer could hear her.

"Can we meet up in the backstage room once I'm finished? Or are you busy?…"

#ic #needyraincandy u #timeline 4: chasing revenge #//IT LOOKS SO CUTEEE #//I LOVED IT

"It will be our secret then" Ruby whispered after hearing KAngel plans to make more music.

Ruby pressed her index fingers against her lips. The gesture she always did when she wanted to keep things a secret from everyone else. Miyako always said that when she did did, she looked exactly like Ai.

When Ruby said her name, she saw KAngel open her eyes slightly surprised. Had she recognized her? Well, she was pretty famous now so there was a chance the streamer had heard her songs or saw one of her videos. And despite wearing a costume that hid her appearance, she was not exactly being very careful with the whole deal of not revealing who she was. Not with KAngel at least.

Why she didn't mind the streamer knowing she was? Perhaps she felt that KAngel wasn't going to make a fuss about it. And thats exactly what KAngel did... she kept smiling, not even whispering a question about if she was really Ruby Hoshino.

That made Ruby smile too.

It was refreshing meeting someone that for once wasn't thrilled to dote on her with empty compliments hoping to get something from her. It was not as if KAngel neded her either. She was doing amazing on her own.

"Yes! I made it" Ruby scratched the back of her neck with a somewhat nervous smile "I am not the best doing handmade things but bracelets is something I think I am pretty good at!"

KAngel placed the bracelet around her wrist. That small gesture made Ruby feel like she was going to fly away. Driven by the joy of hearing that KAngel was going to keep her gift.

"I am glad you liked it!"

It felt warm seeing KAngel smile, truly happy with the gift Ruby had given her. How to describe it... she felt that her job as an idol was tainted. Before, aside from living Ai's dreams, she wanted to make everyone happy as idols had made her. All of that was in the past now. Now being an idol was more about her path to revenge than to make people happy.

But she still wanted to make people happy. That's what made her different from her father she thought. The desire of wanting to make people smile. And seeing she had done that with KAngel... it made her soul shine bright. Specially when she tought she saw a glimpse of scars in KAngel's wrist.

Still, it wasn't her bussiness, so she kept smiling and took the CD the streamer had signed for her. Reading the inscription... Ruby held her breath.

Love people and being loved. Those were two core things human desired more than anything. Ruby felt that everyone lived their lifes searching for them. Some people found love in a sport. Some people found love helping other. And some people... found love being fans of something greater than them.

Seeing that inscription made her feel someone truly loved her. She knew stars faked love most of the time. But if this was a lie, she was more than willing to believe it.

"This is beautiful! Thank you" she said hugging the CD against her chest and giving a little jump. Then she chuckled "You are cute too, KAngel!"

Ruby heart jumped hearing that KAngel wanted to meet her later. She thought after this short meeting it was going to be the last time in a while they would have the opportunity to talk in person. The meeting had been better than she expected it too. She would have been very happy if it ended now.

But seeing KAngel after and having the opportunity to get to know her more? It made her feel excited and like she could jump of elation.

"Yes! I would love too!" she said more loudly than she wanted "Thou.."

She frowned. If the rest of B-Komachi arrived before KAngel finished, she could not meet her. Unless...

"I have a show later here. So if I am busy when you finish just text me and we can arrange other place to see, would that be okay with you?" Ruby took a bussiness card from her purse "Here is my number"

The card was of a dark pink with white stars. It had written her name, number and... agency. If KAngel wasn't truly sure of who she was, now she would have no doubt.

Ruby pressed against her index finger against her lips.

"Looks like I have a secret of yours and that you have a secret of mine" she winked, the same way Ai used to "I am looking forward to see you later"

As soon as Ruby actually put her hand on the table, as if to let Miku know she could hold it for comfort, the ex-idol actually picked it, not only to find some comfort herself, but also, to let the blonde know she wasn't alone.

"Those are really nice things to look forward to…and you know what? I believe in you…I know that you can do it. When it comes to B-Komachi, I can say that you're the closest person there's been that has been shining like Ai."

And maybe she wasn't fully there yet, but there was definitely a certain resemblance that Miku saw between Ruby and Ai, and that filled her with hope.

"A person can't be replaced, but you can still carry on her legacy while being your own person."

Miku said so in the softest voice, squeezing Ruby's hand gently and feeling her shoulders relax, all before a soft sigh escaped by her nose.

Sometimes she wondered if someone was going to be capable of replacing her- a physical person, anyway, but then the ex-idol remembered that she sold her voice to Crypton to make a synth version of herself.

That's who replaced her, but in her opinion, that was way colder and sadder than having someone as passionate as Ruby to try and fill the void that Ai left behind within so many people.

It's the conversation about partners and betrayals that seemed to affect her the most, though. Miku wouldn't be so depressed if it wasn't because of Luka- she wouldn't be falling for bad habits and risky situations with drugs and sex if her heart hadn't been broken, but at the same time…it's been months, since last year when the scandal happened. At some point, Miku would have to get over it, right?…

"I don't think anyone should live through these things…Ai's murder…being betrayed by my lover so my career and my relationship is ruined…they're things no one deserves." After making a pause, she tried to hold tighter onto Ruby's hand, but still looking at her with subtle hope in her eyes.

"In my case…uhm…I know I'm angry with her, but I honestly think Luka wasn't a bad person, she just…made very bad decisions while trying to get away from the industry…I…I hope that one day I can see face to face with her again…"

Because, Miku thought she deserved the love. She was a fool that should've given importance to it, rather than wanting to carry both, Luka's love, and the one she had for all the fans to make them happy.

#ic #sadgirlsex #timeline 4: chasing revenge #//they were amazing thank you!

Ruby gulped hearing Miku said she was going to live to Ai's legacy. She squeezed the ex idol's hand more. Hearing those things was something...

She wasn't sure what to make of it. She now knew that Aqua never liked the idea of her being an idol. She was starting to understand why. Kana and MEM also carried the weight of B-Komachi's legacy, but it would never be for them the same way it was for Ruby. So they never spoke about this things. Neither with Akane.

She guessed that with Miyako she could talk about this, but what could her adoptive mother could say that she hadn't say already?

It was soothing to hear someone as experienced as Miku, who had seen the good, the bad and the terrible of the entertainment industry say she believed in her. Those words were something to cling up too.

Because as determined she could be, somedays even she had her doubts about being an idol.

"Thank you" she mumbled and cleaned her eyes with her arm, she felt she was going to cry "You don't know how much that means to me"

She heard in silence the things Miku said about Luka, how angry she was, but also how she didn't despise her after all. Miku was a better person than Ruby was, she tought. Because talking about this she felt the same rage she had when she heard about the scandal for the first time. Or perhaps Ruby's heart was just bitter than Miku's. After all, she had every reason to despise everyone who hurt idols.

She had been a fan of Luka too. Before. She enjoyed her songs as much as she enjoyed Miku's. But that love... it all faded away when she knew what she did to her lover. She wasn't the one that was betrayed...but it somehow felt like it.

Why someone that supposed loved you did something so horrible? Love was supposed to come above everything else or you didn't love enough. Or at last that's how Ruby saw it. How Miku could be so calm? Even desiring to see Luka again?

If she was Miku... she would have definetly wished to see Luka again, but to punch her.

Still, it wasn't her place to judge, so she just held Miku's hand. They were together on this. It was the only right thing to do when both of them were products of a broken industry.

"How was it? Being in love?"

The question came up from her lips before she could think of it. Ruby covered her mouth and shoke her head.

"I am sorry. That was somehow rude. You don't have to answer if you want too" she said with an apologetic look "It's not my bussiness to know"

Romantic love was complicated. She was curious about it. How did it feel? How did you know it was love? Did love really made you forgive everything about the other person? Even what hurt you? She thought she had been in love once. On her previous life.

...but the more she learned and the more she grew she wasn't sure anymore. She had loved her sensei. But she wasn't sure what kind of love it was anymore.

How it had been love for Ai? She was greedy. The greediest person she knew. She wanted to love her fans and her kids. How about the father of her kids? Had she given him up because she didn't love him enough? Or had she given him up because she loved him with all her heart and knew he could not be happy at her side? How would she feel know about him? Would she have hated him...

Or be like Miku and still have a soft spot for him, desiring to see him again?

"I just want to ask something else... but don't answer if you don't want it. Just hearing me is enough" Ruby looked at the ceiling "Let's say you were reborn. That you are a kid again, but with your adult memories" she whispered so only Miku could her "Would you still choose to be with Luka? Love her and being loved by her? Even knowing how it's going to end?

As Miku listened, she held her drink closer, taking a sip in-between because this wasn't exactly a light topic to talk about.

She had no idea that Ruby was in a quest for revenge, all the ex-idol could tell is that someone with her job having interest in Ai's case wasn't strange. After all, the world didn't stop from having people that could go too far- it could happen again, yet…

"Oh, no…I want to believe the same won't happen to you and your group! If anything…idols in general have grown a bit more aware of their own security since Ai's case, right?"

After making a pause, she let her thumb rub her glass up and down, that despite everything, Miku was still smiling at her, albeit with that hint of melancholy in her eyes. "Ai's case made me paranoid but, it also made me more wary to take care of myself…it's insane how far people would get to find where I live, though- I can't even tell how many times I've changed apartment or phone number because of them…"

To no one's surprise, though, it's not like Miku knew Ai personally, nor Ruby, so the singer actually swallowed that lie of a story as if it was the truth, because, really? Why would she suspect Ruby, anyway? Plus, it sounded pretty credible.

"But that's…I'm really sorry. It must weight heavier on your shoulders if you got to meet Ai in person." Not only that but, the more Ruby spoke about her, the worse that Miku felt.

Not every idol was good at heart when outside the scenario, but it felt like Ai actually treated Ruby very well, that she was a nice and kind person at heart, and that…to Miku was very important.

So she sighed softly and gazed at the blonde with empathy and understanding, even if she's never lost someone to a murder like that.

"At least you can keep her memory alive. I doubt she will leave the memory of people too soon but, you knew her better, you can hold her close to your heart." It's when Ruby started mentioning a rumor, however, that Miku raised an eyebrow and listened intently, before taking another sip from her drink and humming.

"That's a…hmh…" The ex-idol paused and frowned softly to herself. "Honestly, I would believe anything at this point- like, I wouldn't be too surprised if that was the case…do you know about revenge stories of old friends or partners and all?…people can be really cruel…and it can get scary in the idol scene when you don't only have the eyes of the fans on you but also, the people close to you…"

She wasn't outright comparing her case with Ai's, of course, but if anything, Miku knew what it felt like that someone so close to you, someone who you thought of as the love of your life, would be the one to stab you in the back.

She's at least lived through that...

#ic #sadgirlsex #timeline 4: chasing revenge #//sorry for the delay!

Of course the new B-Komachi generation wasn't going to have the same fate as their predecesor. Ruby wasn't going to allow it. That was another reason why she had to find the one who was behind everything... before he tried to hurt one of her friends. Despite growing apart recently, MEM, Kana and even Akane were very important to her, the tought of them getting hurt because of a man who had done so much damage already was unbereable.

"It does weight" Ruby said with a sigh, she thought it was for the best not to continue talking about the safety measures every idol should take "I want to achieve... everything she would have achieved had she not died. Starting with the concert in a dome. The one that was cancelled the day of her murder. But sometimes it feels like... no one could shine like her, ever. So it was no point trying. That doesn't mean I won't keep doing it"

She was no going to give up. This was not just a child having a fantasy of dancing a singing while her fans screams. This was a daughter who carried the dreams of her mother that she never got to see become true because she was taken away far to quickly.

This was a girl who hoped her mother's star shine brightly in pride of her living up to her legacy.

Because as Miku said, she and Aqua carried Ai in her heart more than anyone in this world. Every dance, word, smile was because of Ai. Because of her Mama who had loved her in four years more than anyone ever loved her in her previous life. Mama was not a ghost or a shadow, but rather a spirit who was beside for Ruby hoping for her to do the right thing.

Like having a conversation about stalkers that in other circumstances she wouldn't have.

"Yes, I have heard about revenge of partners or old friends. People who were supposed to care about you... but only wanted to make you miserable in reality"

Could this be the answer she was looking for? Easy as that? A jelous Ai old B-Komachi partner. It wouldn't be odd, it was well know that some ex B-Komachi members despised all. Still... something didn't quite click. It was not the ages, not the reason... it was that... well, Ai would have given another B-Komachi member the adress of her apartment knowing they could see the kids if they came unexpectedly? Didn't sound much like Ai.

And B-Komachi wasn't the only people she was close too. After all, Ruby didn't came to the world because of magic (well, kinda, but that was another thing)

"The entertainment industry is very complicated as it is. One should expect her partners make going through it easier, no harder" Ruby said with a sigh "But jealousy and pettiness exist, making a supposed partner the one you have to take care of"

She had the feeling Miku was not entirely talking about Ai anymore. But about her story. Ruby didn't know much about the scandal... it was the kind of things that made her sick. But she did know a partner, a secret girlfriend, had told everyone their secret.

"I have never been betrayed by anyone I love, so I just can imagine how painful it can be" The hardest of things, for sure "And I am sorry you had to live through that. It wasn't fair"

Without realizing, Ruby was extending her hand for Miku to grab it if she wanted to. Broken idols had to support between themselves. Because no one else was going to do it.

"For what is worth... I don't think you did anything wrong" she said with confidence "You just felt in love. You are a human. There is nothing wrong with that."

And she could say this from the bottom of her heart because Mama would have gone through the same as Miku's had someone discovered she had fallen in love and have children. A bond everyone hated but Ruby learned to appreciate. It was because a bond like that she was there now. And there was nothing wrong with it, she had made peace with that idea long ago.

Idols were still woman and people, they had the right to fall in love if they really wanted to.

That both Miku and Ai's lovers were terrible people was another entirely different thing.

Of course, innocent kids were probably the ones this was worth for, specially if they were little girls. Deep inside, Ame didn't want those girls to be like her, or suffer through the same things she did, so partially, she always made sure to send messages that these girls could take as future advice for life.

Like avoiding creepy people or older guys, because goodness, she better than anyone knew that those could plague her own streams at times, making comments that were pretty questionable and inappropriate when they didn't even know her age- even if someone had called her a hag before in the chat.

Once she parted ways and went back to her table, though, KAngel cleared her throat and continued signing the said merchandise, taking a selfie with another fan here and there until…Ruby was the one to approach her.

"Hello, cutie!"

The idol would be received with another smile, but as the streamer looked her up and down, her eyes opened a bit more and she recovered her composure.

Ame had a good eye to recognize people that were popular, specially if she had looked them up before either because she liked them or, because she needed to do her research for the field in question.

No…it couldn't be- it would be too silly if an idol was here to meet her. One thing was being an independent streamer like her, and another being a professional singer.

It was a fresh hair to get other girls in line, though, everybody knew who the main audience ended up being when you were a cute-looking girl.

"You're so lucky then! A new fan but having the chance to meet me so early!- you know I always love to be there for the lonely. No one has to be completely alone while I'm around, right?"

She picked the CD with her usual smile, hard to say if it was fake or if it was genuine, but there was certainly a very subtle hint of tiredness that only the most keen eye would notice.

"I'm glad that you liked the song, though. Maybe I'm ready to make more in the future! But being an idol…hehe~ I feel I would get away from my angel duties if I changed jobs now." After picking the permanent marker -a pretty golden marker for her autographs, at that- KAngel looked back up at Ruby and winked at her as well, feeling her shoulders relax.

"Do you want me to simply sign this with my name ooooor? Do you want me to dedicate something to you?"

#ic #timeline 4: chasing revenge #needyraincandy u

For a moment, KAngel looked startled. As if she had recognized her... but that couldn't be, could it? She had been so careful with her makeup and clothing. If it was that obvious someone would have already recognized her, right?

Or maybe KAngel as a streamer who was growing pretty quickly was developing a keen eye for recognizing disguises and people who weren't entirely telling the truth.

Still... she wasn't going to reveal her identity. So she smiled brightly. One of those smiles she gave in concerts. Except that this time it was a earnest smile. KAngel way of speaking and smiling at Ruby made her feel excited... more than she have been recently.

"Well! I am quite a lucky girl indeed!" Ruby said cheerfully.

Hearing KAngel said she wasn't planning to become an idol made Ruby make a little pout. Despite being 18 years old already, there were some things she just couldn't help. Or maybe because it was what was expected of her... after all, in B-Komachi she was expected to be the cute, younger one of the trio who still was somewhat childish. Some things were hard to drop... even out of stage.

But the thought of Kangel making more songs and continue doing videos made her smile again.

"Well, that's a shame. But it would also be a shame to lost our angel so it's okay. And if you make more songs I would love to hear them!"

Ruby looked at the CD in silence, not sure of what to say. She always liked her signed merchandise to have a special message with her name or something because it made it feel unique. But if someone heard her and recognized who she was...

Well, screw it. Not everyday you meet a raising star and had the opportunity to have her sign something for you before she become one of the most famous people ever. Because that was going to happen. She could bet her life to Tsukuyomi on it. Specially if she kept doing both music and videos.

"I would love if you could sign it with for Ruby.H and whatever else you decide to write on it" she whispered for only KAngel to it "Oh! Before I forget!"

Ruby took a bracelet out of her purse and handed it to KAngel

"I made this for you"

It had been a long time since she had given a gift to one of her idols. Being an idol herself now she knew how risky was to keep a gift given from the fans. Even she had to throw out the flowers or plushes she was given, just in case they had a hidden camera or something. Probably the gifts she had once given to her idols had met the same fate.

Still...

Something had driven her to give it one to KAngel.

"I know it might be dangerous to keep a gift from someone you don't know" she scratched the back of her head feeling a little embarrassed "I can only promise it has nothing that could be problematic for you. If you think it's safer to throw it is okay. I just wanted to give you something because of how much you have given us"

Being a somewhat small streamer still, KAngel didn't have the biggest stand in the convention, but she was already grouped in the area where another streamer sat as well.

And boy, despite being small, there was a decent line of people standing around or wanting to get to her, be it to take a selfie, to exchange a few words, or to have some of her merch signed.

In fact, it was needless to say that the announcement and release of her first solo would be the main attraction at the moment. In comparison to other artists and despite her cute appearance, the music she's made was like some kind of colorful trip for anyone that wanted to experience LSD without having to consume the actual drug.

"Aaaaah! KAngel! I swear since I met you, you've saved me!"

Some fan said, already in front of the streamer, who simply smiled widely with faux kindness and warmth. Despite the lies behind it, it felt real, and even more so to a person that probably lacked a life, very much like Ame herself did.

"Ehehehe!~…well, that's what I'm here for! That way you don't have to be alone anymore, right?"

After signing the CD of the solo for that fan, a very young girl would follow. A child, really, in company of one of her parents.

The girl would excitedly approach KAngel, and it's at moments like those that the streamer remembered that her audience also included people like these. Children that still had hope and dreams, ignorant to the horrors of the world.

It was at moments like those, that KAngel managed to show genuine concern and kindness, but perhaps it was that feeling of not wanting them to become the kind of person she was.

"It's really her!…papa! it's KAngel!" The girl said, before stepping closer to the table.

Just a second after, KAngel would stand up, stepping closer to the girl and crouching to be at her level.

"Awwww…hello there, cutie! Want to take a picture with me?"

The young girl giggled and nodded, eager, before stepping closer to hug who was her idol, and of course, KAngel didn't hesitate in reciprocating.

"Remember to always stay by the side of your parents when in a place like this, alright? Don't talk with strangers, and if someone does something weird, report them!"

#ic #timeline 4: chasing revenge #needyraincandy u #//That's a pretty cool detail!#//I try that Ruby has always her black stars like she could be at this part of the story

There were a lot of people today at the convention. Lots of screaming, running, smiling and hugging. It made Ruby smile a little too. Just a bit. It wasn't like she hated this type of events. Before, she attented them with the same excitement that everyone else did.

She just hated the attention being drawn to herself.

So far no one had recognized her. No one was playing attention to her thanks to the cloths she was wearing and the way she hid her face. Besides, everyone was focused in attending the events and searching for the people they wanted to see. No one was expecting a B-Komachi idol hiding in plain sight.

She too had to find the streamer she was looking for. Ruby looked at the CD she had bought. KAngel song. The music was.... something. She couldn't describe exactly what. It was catchy and extravagant. She would describe it as a rainbow geiser. A colorfull explosion you simply couldn't miss.

It was a good song, overall. Maybe not for everyone. But it would be good for a certaing group of people. Those were the ones that would mostly stick around and make KAngel more famous streaming her songs. The ones who would give her a good start if KAngel desired to be an idol one day. Aside from her streaming fans of course.

...thou she didn't know exactly how old KAngel was. Most idols started as teens because thats when they were saw pure and brilliant. MEM was an exception. But even MEM lied about her real age. Still, it wasn't her bussiness.

Humming pop in 2, Ruby walked around the convention until she found the stand she was looking for. There was a pretty long row for meeting KAngel, and she stood behind a couple who was whispering and gossiping about which of them KAngel would like the most.

In that moment, a young child at the front of the row hugged KAngel, and the smile of the streamer was one of the most beautiful, honest smiles, she had ever seen in the entertainment industry. It made Ruby smile grew bigger. Soft. Those were the kind of moments that made all of this worthy.

...or they did for her once. Now it felt like everything was a battle. Like every fan she met, no matter how young they were, was a tool for her to be more famous. It was horrible, but that was her life now. But she was happy that at least someone in this industry wasn't like her.

The row advanced at a good pace, and soon Ruby was standing in front of KAngel. She was cuter than in the streams… but also… different. She didn't know how to describe it. The streamer had the same vibe of joy and love as in the streams, but surrounded by something she couldn't exactly place. It was similar to her or completely different.

"Hi!" she said with a grin "I can't believe I am meeting you!"

Much to her surprise, Ruby felt happier than she thought she would be. She thought she would have to push the joy inside her to act more excited than she felt. But... even thou she was not jumping and screaming like she might once have, the hapiness in her voice and face was real. More real than anything in her life.

"I haven't see you that long but... I enjoy seeing your streams" she said honestly "They are fun to watch when I am by myself"

Carefully, she took the CD with KAngel solo and showed it to the streamer.

"I really liked the song" she winked "You would be a pretty good idol!"

That too was also honest. Ruby had an eye for these things. And if KAngel were to be an idol, she would certainly be one of the best.

All in all…despite being adopted, Miku had been extremely lucky to have parents that loved her.

Coming from a humble middle-class family, all the girl had needed was to have someone to support her dreams so she could chase what she really wanted to do in life.

Whenever she stopped to think about them, about her parents, she felt bad about cutting contact so abruptly- she should consider calling them at least once to let them know that she was fine…that she was alive…but she didn't have the courage to do it yet.

Little did she know, that the girl in front of her had a darker past.

"Right…having free time to have some social life is never bad. At least in my eyes!" While she did notice the change of tone and the disappearance of the excitement, Miku simply assumed that Ruby was thinking about her job.

Miku had been so extremely busy being the number one idol around the world, that her job had consumed whatever time she could've had to have a life…to the point that now, it felt weird not being busy at all, having too much free time to be by herself and her darker thoughts.

"Sooo, Saturday sounds fine, don't worry.~"

She was the one that tried to keep the cheery tone despite it all, taking a sip from her drink and sighing softly, not exactly sure about what was going on inside Ruby's mind, at least, until she perked up again when the blonde asked.

"Yeah! Sure! Go ahead!" What she never expected, was for Ruby to ask her about the case on Ai Hoshino. The mention of that name alone got Miku's heart to sink for a moment; a sharp breath escaping her lips before she cleared her throat.

It was a crude topic, for sure, but the ex-idol was old enough to stand her ground and shake her head gently.

"It's okay, I promise…for some reason it feels natural you ask about that." Making a brief pause, she then smiled somewhat awkwardly, before letting out a nervous laugh. "I think everyone heard about her case- it was rather brutal and, you know…it echoed a lot through the idol industry, specially among people like me who had to retire due to backslash and scandals…"

Letting her fingers wrap around her glass, Miku didn't try to hide the sadness that now reflected in her teal hues, having to look down at her drink to distract herself for a moment.

"It made me sad, actually. I would've liked to meet her like I did with other artists, like Ado-san…uhm…I don't need to mention that her case also made me super paranoid, specially because I'm even more known."

#ic #timeline 4: chasing revenge #sadgirlsex #//not going to lie it hurt writing this #//The PAAAAAIIIIN

There was no idol who hadn't heard about Ai Hoshino and her brutal murder. It was like a cautionary tale in the idol industry.

Don't get too close to your fans.

Always keep your promises.

Never trust anyone.

Or you might end up like her.

At least Miku was kind enough to not be scandalized or horrified by her question. Yes. It was natural for her to ask... thou for reasons she would never know. It was best for her to believe that her question was because she feared to have the same fate one day. Not because she was thinking of finding the one behind the murder.

Not because she was a daughter avenging her mother.

"Yeah, the case... well, even thou it was thirteen yeasrs ago, somehow it is still current. I think it doesn't help my group is called the same as theirs" Ruby laughed without joy "I think people are wondering if we are going to have the same ending that the original group had"

After all, the original B-Komachi broke not soon after Ai death. No longer a sparkle without their star.

But they were going to have a different ending. The would sing in a stadium. And would fullfill the dreams Ai never could. She just had to kill someone first.

"Of course. I can't image the fear you must have felt when your scandal was brought up... many fans are super crazy. But I am glad nothing happened to you" And it would never happen either, if she had something to say to that idol killer "I did meet her, you know? Because my adoptive mother was the wife of her manager and my brother made a movie with her so... I saw Ai from time to time"

That was the biggest of lies.

Not that like it was unexpected either. After all, her group was named B-Komachi for a reason. This was just a bit more than what she said in interviews about the reason her group had the same name as Ai's group. But still far away from the truth.

Even so, she still wasn't sure if she should be saying this. Making a stronger conecction between Ai and her... but it felt good talking about this with someone for once.

"She was kind and made me laugh. She also gave me candy from time to time, and always had an advice for me about dancing or singing" Ruby's voice broke slightly. She gulped "She was... not just a good idol or just a good person. She was a good woman. Like you. You two would have been great friends"

Those words were not a lie. Ruby wasn't sure about a lot of things... but that was one of the things she could say from the heart.

"There is a weird rumor going around" Ruby looked at the table as she spoke. Suddenly unable to see Miku's eyes "That someone had to give Ai's killer her department adress, because there was no way he knew where she lived so... someone she trusted betrayed her and give the man the direction" she shrugged "Stupid, no? For all we know, the man could have stalked her"

Except that he didn't.

jadebuggirl

❂Rp and ask blog of Loulan Shisui Tamamo from The Apothecary Diaries❂

✧─────────★───────── ⋆✩⋆ ─────────★─────────✧

❂Written by Aira

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Warning: I have watched only the first two seasons of the anime, so I don't want spoilers of the light novels that I am currently reading.

Follows back from @thenextbestidol

#promo #the apothecary diaries #kusuriya no hitorigoto #the apothecary diaries roleplay #tad roleplay #kusuriya no hitorigoto roleplay #knh roleplay #roleplay #roleplaying #shisui #loulan #tamamo #rp

Starter for @needyraincandy-u

Convention day!

...what a nuisance.

Ruby thought that one of the best parts of being an idol would be having the opportunity to meet her fans. See how she made them smile. Hear their praise. Feel that everything she had done had a purpose. And the firsts months it had been like that. She loved being surrounded by people and receveing their love.

But now? Now winning over her fans required an energy that sometimes simply wasn't there anymore. It requiered smiles that every day felt more fake. It required taking pictures and pretending she didn't itch when they touched her. Most of all, it required not frowning whenever they say something about how pure and beautiful she was and how more idols should be like her.

They were assholes. All of them. And ignoring them have become more difficult now that B-Komachi was a group almost everyone who enjoyed J-Pop music had heard at least once.

Ruby covered her hair with her hat and adjusted her glasses. So far, no one in the convention had recognized her. Good. It had to be that way.

Why she was here in a convention if she feared so much meeting her fans?

Well, there were two reasons.

First of all, B-Komachi had a show at the convention at night. Yes, it was still morning so there was no reason to be here that early, certainly, MEM and Kana weren't. But that was when the second reason came in... under the pretext she wanted to see the place and scrutinize the people who would be there she said to Miyako she was going to be at the convention first time at the morning.

But that was one of her liars. Inf fact, she just wanted to see KAngel, who was going to be there with an event of her own.

KAngel had become... one strange but vytal part from her day to day. Like a presence that was at her side everyday... and she certaintly was. Everyday, when Ruby needed to disconnect from... everythig she put KAngel streams. If the girl was not streaming at the moment she simply would hear a former one. And if she couldn't do even that, she would comment in her twitter posts to anything new and reblog what she said.

Was it the best way to spend her free time? Debatable. But she wasn't going to change her new hobby anytime soon. Hearing KAngel was like a breath of fresh air. Not because the girl was all love and cutesy, in fact, Ruby had the feeling she was like her, a liar who pretended to love everyone... and that was the reason she enjoyed hearing her so much, it made her feel like... she was not that alone.

So she decided to go meet her at the convention.

If she was a bit like her old self she would be a see of sweat. So nervous and excited she wouldn't be able to speak. By now she would be jumping and smiling!

But that girl was no longer there. If there ever was. Instead, there was just only one solitary woman who was truly alone and desired to meet someone who she felt was odly similar to her. Or maybe she was wrong and Ruby just saw what she needed to see to not feel so miserable.

Whatever the question was, she would find out today.

#ic #needyraincandy u #timeline 4: chasing revenge #//I hope this is fine!

Friends?…they were friends?

By how Miku continued to smile, it seems she didn't mind it, in fact, she was quick to answer with something of her own, all while she picked her phone to unlock it.

"Yeah! I guess we're friends now, huh? A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet, or so my dad likes to say!"

Miku was…pretty lonely on her own, honestly. It's not like she didn't have people to go back to, but since she retired, she isolated herself from the people that used to know her…even her parents.

She didn't find the courage to call her parents again, or try to get in contact with her old friends, even if most must be super busy with their own jobs.

It's the phone buzzing that slaps her back to reality; her eyes opening wide to look at the screen, and quickly making sure she would add Ruby to her list to not forget who she was.

And, well, as soon as the other let that insult slip, Miku let her phone rest on the table, letting a soft laugh of her own to escape her lips, and taking the glass of her drink to take a sip, before sighing.

"No, you're right, there are lots of idiots out there. I would say they're worse than idiots." But, she also would feel kinda bad insulting all of a sudden. If Miku used swear words, raised her voice or insulted someone, you knew that you were pretty fucked- after all, she wasn't someone that got angry easily, even less so someone that would insult so easily.

But Ruby was right…and the ex-idol couldn't avoid thinking about how horrible and shitty some people were.

…better off dead, but she wouldn't say it out loud. The self-hatred went far enough to prefer herself dead instead.

"I would love to hang out with you! Definitely better if it's somewhere calm and kinda private so there aren't…any problems. But I have lots of free time and…uhm…not really a lot of people to hang out with, so! You can call me whenever, yeah?"

#ic #timeline 4: chasing revenge #sadgirlsex

Ruby's smile flickered a little when she heard the word dad.

Ruby Hoshino didn't had a dad.

Neither did Sarina Tendouji.

The concept was a bit... weird to her. People said a dad loves their children with all their heart. But for her it was like a ghost she couldn't put a face, a voice, a smile. Nothing. Sarina dad's left her not soon after she got sick. Not bothering to visit even once.

And Ruby's dad..

Ruby pressed her hands against the table. Fighting the urge to clench her fists. That sensation of desiring to kill something.... someone... managed to rise from her stomach to her throat. She felt sicker than she every felt as Sarina. She very well knew who her dad was, and as soon she found him...

"Yeah" Ruby smiled hearing Miku insult, trying to shake her dark feeling. If someone had told her that she would hear her idol swear, she would have looked at them like they were crazy "Worse than idiots"

Her father was one of them, for example. The dark senssation pressed against her throat, almost piercing her skin.

Snap out of it, Ruby. You are going to scare her. Miku can't know about that asshole.

She knew that but...

"Yes! I don't hang out a lot with a lot of people too and right now B-Komachi isn't doing that much. I am just in a TV show but aside from that I have plently more time" Ruby tried to smile more. But her thoughts were drifting away to her father. She no longer sounded as excited, not because the idea wasn't lovely, but because her brain couldn't focus in that future moment "I will call on you on Saturday if that's okay with you! That day I have nothing to do!"

Ai Hoshino. Murder. A college boy. She looked at Miku. If she had her numbers right, Miku would have been a teenager starting her career when Ai had died. It was pretty much a chance she didn't know more about that than regular people did. But if she had heard even the faintest rumour...

Selfish.

"Hey, can I ask you about something?" she said glancing at the table, no longer able to look Miku at the eyes "Have you heard about the murder of Ai Hoshino?"

You are so fricking selfish. The woman has suffered enough. Why would you bring that topic up?

Just as she said those words, Ruby felt embarassed. What had she done? She shook her heard energetically.

"Sorry, that was such a weird question" she forced a smile "Forget I said that"

As bad as it could sound, KAngel took advantage of the lonely ones that didn't even leave the house. But, under that layer of need for approval, survival and her own need to beat her loneliness, Ame actually wanted to bring something good to the world…or well, KAngel would. Specially to kids, or young girls that needed her support.

KAngel was everything she couldn't be- all she's always wanted to be. But Ame was a rotten being. A sack of flesh and bone that hardly deserved to live in this world…or so she thought.

KAngel was a savior for the people on the internet, but at the same time, Ame was waiting for a savior of that level to come take her hand instead.

She always flip-flopped between wanting to be on top of the world as KAngel, or wanting to die as Ame, but she had to keep walking, or else…

"I will give details about the convention once I have them, so stay tuned around Twitter for once I post the info!" She would point in direction to her viewers before winking once; smile wide from ear to ear.

Yet, she couldn't help but feel some dread inside of her. Last time she went to a convention, she met a fan of hers that she tried to befriend…someone she tried to trust- someone she tried to support after KAngel inspired her to become a streamer too.

But it still cut deep inside of her that, the girl in question reached the million of followers in no time, helped by a bigger company thanks to the contacts she had, while…she had to work harder to be seen and recognized.

Unfair. The world was always unfair. It didn't matter if she was working harder- at the end, having more money or being with a more recognized brand was all someone needed to reach the peak without effort.

Her hands weren't seen in camera, now dropped to the sides, but she let them curl into fists while she continued to smile and read the chat.

Once the topic went back to the small secret, however, she let her shoulders relax and let a single finger rest against her lips.

"Shoosh!~ Patience! You won't have to wait much longer! I will also make the big announcement through Twitter. So keep an eye out for that as well, hmh?" After making a pause, she clasped her hands together, again making as if she was praying.

"Your Internet Angel is always working hard to make all of you happy, but just know that I intend to keep growing in order to reach all of you. I DO love all of you, after all. My little nerds. 🩵"

Lies.

╔══════════════════════════╗

■ ill wait for u!

■ calling it now, it's gonna be merch

■ I'm going to love whatever it is

╚══════════════════════════╝

Looking at the time, it was the perfect moment to close the stream- but that person that has been talking more in her chat…they caught KAngel's attention.

"But! This will be all for today's stream. I hope everyone could have fun today, or that you are still thinking about reincarnation." After letting out a soft laugh, she waved to the camera with both hands, before she tilted her head.

"Goodnight, cuties!"

╔══════════════════════════╗

■ rest well queen

■ 🙏 BLESS 🙏

■ goodnight kangel!

■ 🙏 BLESS 🙏

╚══════════════════════════╝

Now that the stream was off, Ame sat in front of her computer for a second, to post something on Twitter.

---

Thank you to all the people that came to see the stream tonight!

After all of that, what are you most excited for? And what would you want to be if you got the chance to reincarnate?

↻ 40 ☆ 350

---

Once that was done, KAngel turned around to stand up, removing the wig from her head and removing the net so she could ruffle her hair, let it loose.

Color-lenses back to their case before she started to undress to get into a t-shirt or whatever she had at reach.

"Could've been worse..."

#ic #needyraincandy u #timeline 4: chasing revenge #//I also love Amalee cover!#//I think Idol is perfect for writing characters like these built in lies and loneliness like Ame and Neo #Who was P-Chan? Can only think in the pig of Ranma 1/2

Ruby wasn't dumb enough to believe that the fame she had was all because of her tallent. It wasn't. For instance, calling her group B-Komachi had draw a lot of attention than an ameteur idol group simple did not get. Then there was MEM, who had a lot of followers and contacts, making B-Komachi have a solid base for starting that few groups had. And of course, there was Miyako, who was her agent, but between them there were never disputes of interest, because her mother always had in mind what was best of her.

Last but most important, she was Ai's daughter, and even thou very few people knew it, that gave her and advantage of her own. Her beauty, her dances, her whole spirit, it came from her. And of course, the natural talent to lie and decevie everyone, it also came from her.

Thou that wasn't a Hoshino trait only. KAngel did a pretty job either, that was the only thing she could thought when she said that she was excited for the convention, thou there was something in her words that made her feel it wasn't entirely true. She didn't thought anyone else would notice, for everyone else her words surely sounded like truth.

But you would always notice when someone else lies, don't you? How could you not, when your life has been built in lies?

Ruby shook her head, deciding to focus in KAngel words. Saying she loved all of them, those words were probably a lie too, they were the same words she said when she performed, even thou she for sure hated more than one of her fans. Well, what's was the problem in believing a lie once in a while? Specially an I love you one? They were sweet and addictive, made you feel that, even for a brief time, someone cared about you.

"I love you too, KAngel" she typed on the chat.

See? She could lie too. For there was no way she could love someone she didn't know. But KAngel lied and Ruby lied and no one cared because it created a balance where they could feel they were part of something better.

When KAngel weaved goodbye, she waved too. Even thou the streamer could not see her. But for a moment, she pretented that they were two friends that finished talking online. Lies like that were sometimes needed to not despair.

"Sleep well, KAngel" it was the last thing she wrote in the chat.

Then everything became silent.

Again.

That was more fun she thought of. MEM had been right, hearing a streamer had lifted her mood. Just a little. At least, it had helped her to pretend she was not alone and had somewhat a friend for a moment.

Now that everything finished, the department felt... empty. No friends, no brother, no mother. Only her and the feeling of loneliness surrounding her, almost suffocating.

Ruby inhaled. It was okay. Everything was okay.

She took her phone and opened Twitter, searching for KAngel's account. Before she could think of it, she followed KAngel. Miyako was probably going to chastise her, because an idol couldn't follow anyone she wanted. But for once she didn't care, if her mother got mad... she would just say that she thought they could make a good collab with the girl. At least that wasn't a lie.

She read KAngel last post, and decided to reply:

"I think I would like not to reeincarnate, one life is more than enough" two actually, but she couldn't go around saying it "As for what I am most excited of... I am really looking forward to the music surprise! Thank you for today's stream!"

Then she looked to the button to send a message. Maybe she could text KAngel, say how much she enjoyed the streamer. Maybe get to know the girl better and consider making a collab together.

But no.

That would not do. She had to focus in killing the murderer of Sensei and mama, nothing else mattered. She had no time to make friends.

Thou no one would blame you. After all, everyone left you. You are here, alone, and your friends, your family, is out there having fun. Don't you deserve t have something that's only yours? She could be it..

No.

She had choose this life. This dream. This revenge. These were the consequences. Ruby the idol had a lonely life because the only thing she cared about was becoming famous.

She blocked her phone and tossed it aside, before she could change her mind. Then she lay down on her bed and covered himself with the sheets, she should go to sleep if tomorrow she had to meet that emerging artist.

She hoped she was as half interesting as KAngel was.

A nervous laugh was the first thing to escape her when seeing Ruby react, but deep inside, it was adorable, really.

She's kept herself shut about that for the longest time that, it was enough delicate information for Ruby to abuse, if she wanted. Perhaps another sign that Miku's own purity wasn't completely gone when trusting this information with someone like her.

Then again, Miku felt that she could trust her, to a point…her interest sounded genuine, she didn't try to assault her, or insult her. She very much defended her back there against the other two people.

A lot of people loved MARETU more than they liked her, or at least more than they liked the REAL her- that hologram version of herself that now replaced her in concerts was more perfect than she was. An echo of the past for people who couldn't move on.

"Well, uh…you see? I…after my career failed, Crypton Future Media convinced me to still sell them 'my voice'. It's why I made that Vocaloid program, so people could openly make songs with it. Or why the current concerts use a hologram version of the old me…they wanted to keep making money because I'm like their golden egg goose, and I wanted my music to still make people happy. And I needed to continue making money, somehow…now even I can make songs anonymously using my voice bank." …even if she was pretty much a millionaire.

She made a pause, eyeing the waitress in the background, coming to the table to leave what Miku ordered earlier. Before she could leave, the ex-idol would order a coke zero for Ruby, though. Soda with zero sugar was an easy option with no alcohol, right?

But, now that they were alone again, Miku's eyes opened wide as she stared at the napkin, before blood rushed up to her cheeks, covering them with a blush.

"Ah?…on a napkin? Sure!" She started to pat her hoodie, looking around for a tiny pen she used to carry with her, just in case. And once she was holding it between her fingers, she signed the napkin on both sides…one with her signature as Miku, and the other as MARETU.

…however, she also made sure to note down her phone number under the Miku signature, before pushing the paper back in Ruby's direction.

"I know I just met you but…I dunno, from ex-idol to idol! I want you to have my number in case you…need me for anything? I'm not exactly as busy as I used to, so…"

She was…actually very lonely. More than she would admit, and she rarely left the apartment because of paranoia, fear or her depression. But texting and chatting would also be good enough.

#ic #sadgirlsex #timeline 4: chasing revenge

Ruby heard in silence Miku's story, and how she became Maretu, she supposed it made sense. Miku was one of the greatest idols the world had ever seen, so of course people still wanted to use her in any way they could to keep making money.

It... not surprisingly, made her feel a little sick. She was happy because Miku could continue doing music and making people happy. But what truly made her feel... anger... what that no one cared how she was. No one cared about the person. Only how much money they could get of her.

She wondered if people had known that Ai had children... would she have had a similar fate? Selling her voice and hologram, so greedy people could continue making money with her even thou she was no longer the star she used to be? Honestly, the thought... made her felt something obscure inside that pure idols like her shouldn't feel.

Not that she could tell Miku that. There were things she couldn't share with anyone no matter how comfortable she felt around them.

"Well! I am happy that you found a way to keep making music!" she said with sincerity, despise what she thought of it, the important thing was what Miku felt "This world would not be the same without your music in it"

At least, not her world.

The little blush of Miku made her smile openly! Ha! How many people in the world could say they had made their idol blush?! And Miku of all people! If she could tell MEM who she had met, I would definitely brag to her! Guess who met one of the best idols the world ever had and made her blush?!

But it was Ruby's turn to open her eyes when she saw that Miku not only had signed the nakpin as Miku and Maretu... but she also had wrtiten her number. Her heart beat fast as she saw the numbers. Was she dreaming?

She bit her cheek. No, she was not dreaming! That only meant this was the best day of her life! She had the number of no other than Miku... her heart pounded against her chest happier than it had been the last months.

"Yes! I have so many questions to ask you! I would love to talk to you!" Ruby was practically screaming, but the music drowned out her voice, so one played attention to her "We are basically friends now!"

Friends.

What a strange word.

Living again making friends was one of the things she wanted to do the most... something she really hadn't thought of since... well, since that horrible day. Now everyone seemed llke someone she could potentially use to be more famous, not a friend.

It felt good having one again. One that had nothing to do with her revenge.

"Give a moment"

Ruby took her phone and wrote Miku's number, then she sent her a message.

"Hiiii!🩷🩷🩷"

"Then! Now you have my number too!" she said cheerfully "This way you know who I am and don't have to worry for the possibility an idiot somehow got your number"

She almost covered her mouth after saying the insult, as a reflex, because it was not something an idol with a heart of gold would say... but then she decided not to. Miku and her were on the same page of this. There were fans out there who were idiots and there was no point in hiding it.

She didn't know what was more dangerous, one of those fans having the number of an idol they were obsessed with or them having the number of an idol they used to love but now felt she had betrayed them...

She did know, thou, there was an idol killer out there, and that she had to be careful that he didn't got an interest in Miku.

She wasn't going to loose another one of her idols.

"And hey..." she said softly "If you are comfortable with it, we could gather together anywhere you want to make music. It doesn't have to be a project to show the world, just to have fun. I could learn a lot of you"

When was the last time she danced and sang just because she loved it and not because she needed to be the most popular idol?

Little did KAngel know that perhaps, she wasn't all that different from Ruby. Surely, she was kind of just starting, so to say. But KAngel has been planning her streams well enough to get the attention of people in no time.

If she continued like this, she could become a pretty popular streamer rather fast. Although could she really apply all the merit to herself? After all, it was all thanks to Ṗ̶̗͍̱͎͈̅̈́̅̑-̴̮̰̲̟̬̲̬͍͓̓̒̉̂̏̉́͋̀̎͜c̵̠͎͙̥̜̪͖̺̥̳̗̀̽̓͐̈̊̒͂̽̊͒̊̇̑͘͠h̵̛͖̖͔̃̿̋̂̔̿̀̍̔̓͆͋̍͂͝͠à̶͔̠͍͕̫̼̥̟̮̳̉̀̄̊̄́̏̀̅̌͆̏̌̕n̵̢̨̡͔̱̼̟̟̳̣̭̹͖͕͊̃̕͘͠, she was useless, clueless- lost and without direction if it wasn't for Ṗ̶̗͍̱͎͈̅̈́̅̑-̴̮̰̲̟̬̲̬͍͓̓̒̉̂̏̉́͋̀̎͜c̵̠͎͙̥̜̪͖̺̥̳̗̀̽̓͐̈̊̒͂̽̊͒̊̇̑͘͠h̵̛͖̖͔̃̿̋̂̔̿̀̍̔̓͆͋̍͂͝͠à̶͔̠͍͕̫̼̥̟̮̳̉̀̄̊̄́̏̀̅̌͆̏̌̕n̵̢̨̡͔̱̼̟̟̳̣̭̹͖͕͊̃̕͘͠.

All in all, she became a streamer because it was either this, dying, or going back to her abusive household, so it's not like she had another option but to try and survive while living alongside her dearest Ṗ̶̗͍̱͎͈̅̈́̅̑-̴̮̰̲̟̬̲̬͍͓̓̒̉̂̏̉́͋̀̎͜c̵̠͎͙̥̜̪͖̺̥̳̗̀̽̓͐̈̊̒͂̽̊͒̊̇̑͘͠h̵̛͖̖͔̃̿̋̂̔̿̀̍̔̓͆͋̍͂͝͠à̶͔̠͍͕̫̼̥̟̮̳̉̀̄̊̄́̏̀̅̌͆̏̌̕n̵̢̨̡͔̱̼̟̟̳̣̭̹͖͕͊̃̕͘͠.

And desperate as she could be…it wouldn't be strange if KAngel, too, got obsessed with increasing her fame to get this validation, this online attention, their money…even if deep inside, she also genuinely wanted to be the help for some other people that were like her.

Very much like the internet saved her more than once before, when she was so alone, so sad.

"Ehehehe!~ I'm glad to see someone so eager to spend some time with me! I hope you all cuties feel the same. I'm doing my best so I can ease your worries away! I'm your Internet Angel, after all."

She let a pair of fingers rest above her lips, almost tempted to blow a kiss into the camera, but she didn't do it, preferring to keep the innocent act for a little longer.

╔══════════════════════════╗

■ owww......so cute...I'm deud...

■ I never want to leave! 🩵

⭐ ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ for u!

╚══════════════════════════╝

And Ruby seemed to be a good influence for the chat, as well, because a good bunch of them seemed to agree. That managed to even bring a few more super-chats into her plate, which only meant a bit more of money.

"Hmh!~…I guess at the end of the day, this is not very different from being a music idol. Maybe one day, I too can descend for a little while to attend some convention, yeah? It would let me meet some of you in person!"

Not like she liked the idea too much- in reality she kind of hated it, but she couldn't deny it was yet another way of getting the attention she needed. To increase her popularity too, she hoped.

At Ruby's last question, though, KAngel seemed to grow shy just for a moment, before she closed both of her hands into fists, moving them to her chin before a soft blush covered her pale cheeks.

"Oh! It's funny you ask that! I…actually have a surprise for all of you! So I wouldn't like to spoil it- just wait for a few more days, yeah?~" That was probably an answer on its own, but she tilted her head and winked once, before her smile widened. "I could say that, yeah! I like singing and dancing too! But like I said, it will be a surprise. A small secret between all of us."

╔══════════════════════════╗

■ KAngel singing real? 👀

■ omg omg omg omg!!!

⭐ I wish you all the good luck, KAngel!! (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

■ and here I thought I was already in Heaven...

╚══════════════════════════╝

…what great timing. A few days ago she was actually recording her first solo in a studio she caught the attention of. Soon enough, she would be announcing and releasing the song. Nervous as she was, she hoped people would like it, and that it will work fine.

Because her works tended to be a little different than your regular J-Pop idol music.

#ic #needyraincandy u #timeline 4: chasing revenge #//OHHHHHH! I need to hear those songs #Picasso of lies sounds literally like something so Oshi no ko #have you seen the translation of the season 1 opening? Idol #I think it would fit Ame to with the “my career is built on such a lie”#//And I agree that Ame would get so well with Ai and Ruby #//Like the three of them are pretty hurt woman which the only way of healing they found was looking for love on other people becoming famou #//But how much does that help them and how much it fucks them even more?

The more Ruby saw of this girl KAngel, the more she thought she would be pretty good as an idol.

And the more she saw her, the more she realized how a big fat liar she was. But she didn't care anymore. After all. Ai was a liar, Aqua was a liar and she was a liar. Everyone in this industry had to be a good liar if they wanted to grow. Honesty and purity just didn't got you the results you wanted.

Besides, she couldn't say that her lies, the way she looked almost shy, tempting and innocent, weren't working. The chat was going crazy, sending lots of love. Ruby smiled. How great would she be the next month, the next week? Twice as amazing as she was today, she thought.

Be careful, she might even eclipse you.

Nonsense. Streamers and idols didn't mix.

"If you come to a convention in Japan I hope you will sign me an autograph!" she tipped "I think it would be fun meeting you in person, even for a brief moment!"

She was about to say it would be a dream come true, but that would be a pretty obvious lie. One of those you had to be careful with, because they were noticiable fake and people would start to hate you, instead of loving you. Even for lying you had to be careful.

Beep.

The sound of her cellphone startled her. Ruby looked at it. It was message from Miyako.

"Ru, I am going to be late. I am helping a friend with the producing of a song. Some new talent that catched his eye. Order food for dinner, I'll pay"

Ruby sighed.

"Which talent?"

"Can't tell you a lot about it. But there is a reunion with the girl tomorrow, my friend asked me to be there. Do you want to come to meet her? I heard her song, she is pretty good, you two would make a good combo"

She really didn't want to go. But did it matter what she felt? The only that she cared about right now was be more popular, and if Miyako thought she and this girl could make something interesting together...

"Sure"

Then she opened the delivery app and asked for a salad. This was the fourth day she had dinner alone. Aqua was all his free time with Akane, Kana and MEM had their own projects, Miyako had a ton of work. So eating alone was becoming the rule.

But idol lives were lonely, so it was okay.

She looked at KAngel as she spoke of the surprise she had prepared. Well, maybe not so lonely this time.

"Whaaat! You can't throw a bomb like that and expect us to be calm!" she wrote after hearing the revelation "Give us a clue! Just a little... or a date of when to expect it!"

Music is involved, you know what this means, right?

So what?

Music was for everyone, if KAngel wanted to do a project involving music, she had all the right to do so. It wasn't af if they were competing and she was acting like a grown up kid!

"Is it a song? A music video? A concert? A collaboration with an idol group?" she tried guessing, if it was the last one, she would have to seek a collaboration for B-Komachi "Or something completely different?"

Miku herself could dwell into the darkest corners of her mind if she was left alone, overthinking about her own situation and repeating the bad reactions of the fans over and over inside her head. Feeding her anxiety and paranoia, and often pushing her to take her medication in higher quantities so she could fall asleep and stop feeling.

That's not something anyone should see from her, however, but it was definitely a horrendous reality to live in. One that Ai could've gone through, and that was short-lived with how the other idol ended being murdered by one of her own ex-fans.

Miku would be lying if she said she didn't think about that situation often, mainly because she was scared to death that it could happen to her one day if she let her guard down for a minute or, if she slipped in some way, leaving the path open for someone to find and kill her.

Taking a small breath while still smiling, Miku let one of her hands rest over her chest, feeling her heart calm down the more she basked into the presence of the younger idol.

"Ah- maybe a soda would be fine? But wait- you're a-" …Ruby was a minor, in an underground club. An underground club in one of the most dangerous districts for young girls like her, Miku was sure.

Obviously, it's not like she was going to tell anyone, there was worry plastered over Miku's face more than anything, but she was sure Ruby wouldn't be the kind of person to fall for the tricks of those guys that tried to fish for girls to end up trapped in…the least savory jobs of the area.

"But we…we all can feel like that sometimes, and that's fine, right? We're human…we aren't just made of smiles and rainbows and sparkles." Yeah, the singer didn't mind too much if Ruby admitted to feeling like that. It was just human! And it was an impossible expectation to think they didn't have the right to feel the wide range of emotions as other people.

It's something the idol industry made her feel bad for, for years.

"Gh-…if it wasn't because I'm retired, I would ask you for some kind of collaboration, but as it is now…I feel if I did that, I would just taint your own image…" She almost made a pouty face as she thought about it, letting both of her arms rest lazily over the surface of the table, but then Ruby continued speaking- about how she felt sorry of what happened to her, and something tugged at Miku's heart.

It felt a little bittersweet, in a way. Keeping her smile up at the same time subtle melancholy reflected in her teal hues.

"We never deserve that kind of stuff- it's, unfair, isn't it? If we slip, if we are human for a second, most of them turn against us. We have to pose as goddesses for them." Recovering her composure, she rested against the chair and her expression softened once again, smile widening and turning into a small grin. "But! I'm sooooo glad you girls like me! Even after all of this! It actually means more than I can say and…can I tell you a secret?…" She said, looking to the sides and then leaning against the table to whisper.

"I never stopped making music. I still do- I just happen to use my own voice bank to upload anonymously." After making a pause, she bit her lip piercings and then chuckled. "I'm MARETU."

#ic #sadgirlsex #timeline 4: chasing revenge #//yes! I like this duality of Miku #//like yes #//but she also has gone to terrible things so it's only normal she feels this way #//And shows it through her music!!#//Its more interesting when characters have this complexity #//That is also why I love Ruby because when she is sweet she is very sweet #//But when looking for revenge she can be the cruelest person of all and I love it

Ruby wanted to punch herself. She was an idiot... why did she say was a minor? Minors shouldn't be in an underground club of all places! And specially idols like her!

Not that she thought that Miku was going to say something, how did she know? Instinct, she supposed, you would have to be more than thrash to ruin the career of an idol knowing what was it like, and her idol was not trash. She was sure of it she same way she was sure her name was Ruby.

A little naive? Perhaps. But it had been a long time since the last time she... well let herself trust another person. And this feeling of calm and warm only increased when hearing Miku's words about how they were human, and how they were punished for it.

"Exactly... we are not angels nor gods nor machines... just people, like them, and it is so easy for them to judge us for that. It honestly hurts... being treated like a prize, an object" she said with a soft, almost broken voice

It honestly kinda hurted her see Miku's smile tainted with the pain she had to gone through, the sadness in her eyes once so bright. It really was not fair.

It also hurt her how quick the idea of collabing together was dismissed. In concept, it sounded amazing and she wanted to smile, jump, and say yes!

But in reality, Miku was right, collabing together would only make people critizice Ruby and jeopardize her career.

You are not that altruistic to not care about that, see? Even less now

She still had a goal to achieve. And she couldn't let anything interfere with it. Not even her love for Miku.

Her eyes opened when Miku asked if she could tell her a secret. She nodded with excitement and lenead to be closer to Miku and hear her whisper...

Nothing could have prepared it for Miku's next words. Ruby covered her mouth with her hand to keep from screaming.

"You are what?" Ruby looked at her sides, no-one was near, amazing, no-one had to be there "Maretu... that Maretu?"

Maretu was one of the greatest mysteries in the music industry right now. Who was that girl whose voice evoked a familiar feeling that no one could place? Everyone seemed eager to be the first one to find out... Ruby herself tried her best to find out.

It seemed surreal that the answer had appeared so suddenly and without her actively looking up for it.

"I knew there was something familiar about it! I just didn't know what, but it's you!" her heart was pounding like crazy "How do you do it? I thought I could recognize you anywhere but I would have never imagined it you were her all the time!"

She didn´t enjoy dark music that much... in fact, the only dark music she enjoyed before Maretu were...Miku's ones. Yes, there was despair in it, but also a feeling of... you are not alone in this, I know how these feels, so I am going to show it to you. She couldn't grasp why those two singers made her feel the same...

But now she knew and it was so obvious she felt dumb.

Ruby took a nearby napkin and extended it towards Miku.

"You have to give me an autograph! Both as Miku" she lowered her voice "And as Maretu"

So, she was right! It's true that Miku has been a little disconnected from…reality, lately, but spending most of her time at home got the ex-idol browsing the internet more often, and that also included keeping an eye on new idols, specially if they were just starting.

Salty as she was with how the industry worked most of the time, she liked to see new people trying to make others happy through music, although she would be lying if she said she wasn't worried about the newer generations.

…just thinking back on the case for Ai Hoshino sent a shiver down her spine. Stuff like that is why she got so paranoid after her own fiasco.

As soon as Ruby mentioned she wasn't busy, though, Miku's eyes seemed to shine subtly, so she pointed to the empty seats with a smile.

The best of this all? To notice that Ruby was genuine about what she was saying. She was one of those rare genuine fans that never liked her for whatever idea she made of Miku inside her mind. She liked the music, recognized the talent, and it made her life better.

That's all that mattered.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, but glad to see now you're here!…and hey! I'm actually honored that I could make you happy with my music! A lot of people tend to give more importance to my person than to, well, my music, you know?" Crossing her arms on the table, she didn't shy away when it came to look at the blonde, noticing the nervousness from the other, but finding it rather adorable.

"You should've seen me at my peak…the concerts were actually pretty fun." Melancholy in her tone as she answered, but she didn't let that sentiment wash away her smile.

Instead, she let out a soft chuckle when Ruby called for the waitress, shaking her head and humming softly.

"I already ordered something. But maybe I can invite YOU to something?…" Clashing with moments of kindness- the ex-idol was probably way more used to people wanting to invite her, than doing it the other way around.

"It will be my way to repay you for being so kind and for actually appreciating what I do." She then added, before stretching her arms and letting her smile turn into a small grin.

Oh, how quickly her mood has improved as soon as she's been treated right.

#ic #sadgirlsex #timeline 4: chasing revenge #//I mean Ruby is a negative and Miku is a negative #//mathematicaly speaking negative and negative gives positive(?#//so maybe thats why they are happier when together #//the sweeties deserves this moment of happiness while they can!

Loving idols for the idea of them and not because of their music. Damn right she knew about that and the problems that it caused.

"Tell me about it!" Ruby said when hearing Miku talk about how the fans cared less about the songs than the people who sang them "I am just beggining and I already feel that mosts fans would enjoy any song as long as the idol remains in their vision of reality.

Thou she didn't know this because of her career as an idol. But because of something much more deeper.

After all, who had suffered more the consequences of idealized idol love more than her family? Her Mama. Just remembering the things that were said about her after her death caused a great fury, almost something obscure, to rise in her chest.

But seeing how Miku's eyes sparkled and how she smiled, was enough to make that feeling dissapear.

That was right. She loved idols not because they were gods that came from Heaven, pure girls everyone desired, nothing of that bullshit… she loved idols because they made people happy. It was as simple as that.

And deep down, even with everything that had happened… she still wanted to make people happy, make them smile, make their life a little better the same way idols like Ai and Miku had done for her. How the tables turned. Now she was the one cheering Miku up. Seeing her like this... she felt a warm inside her chest, something she didn't feel since that day.

With all of this, how could she possible refuse her invitation to buy her something?

"Yes! I accept your invitation! I am flattered" she said with her big smile, she still felt a little nervous, but she was calming down, at least she hoped to "Just a non-alcoholic drink, my manager-mother would kill me if she found out I drunk alcohol being a minor!"

Thou Miyako would probably kill her for being in a underground club. Huh. Future Ruby problem. She couldn't worry about that when at the same time Miku thought she had to thank her for... what? being a decent person? Knowing good music when she heard it?

"No! You don't need to thank me for that!" Specially, not for being kind. She wasn't. She couldn't. She shouldn't. "I should be the one thanking you! I was feeling gloomy and your music... it made me realize why I became an idol in the first place!"

Ah! Idiot! She slapped her forehead mentally! Feeling gloomy? Why would she say that? She was Ruby Hoshino, daughter of Ai Hoshino, she wasn't supposed to say her feelings out loud!

Except that, maybe Miku was one of the few people that she could tell, at least a little, how she really felt since finding out that her sensei... but no! She couldnt slip and start to make errors! Better redirect the subject!

Her smile grew, seeing the smile of the ex idol in front of her.

"I alwas thought that this industry is already hard as it is" she said. Damn it was hard. And she said that considering that she had it easier because of Miyako. Other people wasn't so lucky "So the least we could do is support each other to grow and be happy, don't you think?"

She looked to the girl singing right now. Asthonish, for sure. Would she get attention from a scout? Would she become an idol? And how soon would she discover that it wasn't as amazing as everyone thought it was?

Ruby looked to the table, suddenly, counting the scratchs on it was more interesting that making visual contact with Miku.

"I am sorry for... everything that happened with your career. You didn't deserve it. Not the scandal and not the reactions of your fans" Despite hearing the story when she was young, she still remembered it clearly. What a horrible thing to do to an amazing idol like Miku "But you will always be a star to me... and for MEM too!" she added quickly, remembering that her friend had tons of Miku's merch "You know, the other blonde in B-Komachi besides me? She also loves you!"

She didn't know why was she saying that. Maybe she was being inopportune saying those things to someone she barely knew... but she imagined not many people had said those words to Miku before. And she imagined that, if Ai was still alive, she would have liked to hear something similar.

This was probably the first time that KAngel got the opportunity to engage with someone that was trying to have a genuinely interesting conversation. Yeah, more often than not others knew her for how she answered to hate comments and the like, always so sassy and unbothered -most of the time-, but this stranger spoke about the topic so fluently, that the streamer was starting to think the other had a real experience or something.

A silly idea that she would discard, of course. It was just not possible, like time traveling or ending in another dimension by accident, then coming back.

"Life can be…quite miserable indeed. But that's why I'm here! I'm really trying to make the lives of my little nerds slightly easier. Everyone can take a rest now and then and come here to spend time with me, yeah?"

╔══════════════════════════╗

⭐ you already make my life better kangel!

■ I want to be like you 🩵

■ she's always so cute...

■ fake ass bitch lol

╚══════════════════════════╝

...that last one, also banned.

It didn't stop being some kind of escapade from reality. Very much like she did when living with her mother. It helped her cope, to retire to the internet in order to forget about how horrible her life was outside of that. Only to be brought back to reality by the yelling of her mother or, in the worst case, her beatings if she was angry and tired.

The thoughts would've made her shiver, but she kept her composure as best as she could. No viewer could notice that her heart was beating actually faster, and the only noticeable thing to falter, was her smile, but not by much.

Moving her hands to her chest, she then would put them together, as if for a prayer.

"Thank you for believing that angels are so great! But I guess I'm curious to live among humans…to understand them better." KAngel was no angel, she was just a normal girl under that costume and character. But it wouldn't be a lie to know that her last words were pretty genuine, too.

Sometimes it was even difficult for Ame to really understand humans. She was cynical, always expecting the worst from them, but perhaps it was because the lack of love in her life made her not understand the feeling or, also made things more difficult for her.

Someone like KAngel was also a kind of idol, indeed. And that's why…

"If I was human, hmm…I have no doubt that I would like to help others! Just as I am doing now, in a sense? Well, that would only mean that I would love to continue being what I am now! An idol! That way I could at least bring comfort to those who need it, no? Be there for the lonely."

After all, the treatment streamers and idols got wasn't all too different.

╔══════════════════════════╗

■ I would be sad if you weren't the same :(

■ kangel save me, save me kangel

■ this is interesting...

⭐ I would still support you no matter what

╚══════════════════════════╝

#ic #needyraincandy u #timeline 4: chasing revenge #//That sounds amazing #//There aren't lots of works who shows the mental consequences of internet and being a streamer #//most of the time it's idealized #//the same with works who show how brutal the entertainment industry is #//I think oshi no ko and needy girl overdose do a good job showing it even if it isn't the principal thing

Escaping for reality. That, too, was something Ruby knew pretty well. The days Sarina, no matter how much she tried, couldn't get out of bed, her only joy was to see idol music, their videos and recorded concerts, that way, she could pretend she wasn't a sick, dying girl, confined to a bed and a hospital.

No, she could imagine she was an idol like them, dancing, singing, cheering people out. In her fantasies, she was dressed up in cute outfits, and everyone screamed seeing her. In her dreams, she too, helped people to escape from reality even if just a little bit.

Maybe that's why she was so comfortable talking with KAngel. She had to say that when MEM told her to relax one day and engage with a funny streamer, she thought it would be boring an annoying... but now, she was calm, a little happy, even. For the first time in... months, she wasn't thinking about how to increase her fame, the next challenge to do to get viewers. And most of all, she wasn't thinking about how to use people to make her more popular...

That was, until she saw the little flicker on KAngel's face.

The flicker that made Ruby know that, no matter the sweet and loving facade with which she faced her fans, KAngel was a liar.

She was getting good at spotting those micro moments of vulnerability. They gave vital information about how a person really felt, information that could be exploted and used to help you raise in the brutal and crude entertainment industry.

She has tons of fans, I am sure that getting both of you into a bigger spotlight would make you two more famous. Easy way to jump into fame!

She dismissed the thought with a shook of her head. No. She couldn't do that. It wasn't because it was a terrible thing to do, she had crossed that line with the cosplay scandal, it was because... it would be useless using KAngel to be more famous. Their public was too different... an idol an a streamer? What they could do together to please their fans?

She checked briefly the comments, no one else seemed to notice the flicker. Good. Everyone loved exposing things like those. But just to be sure...

"Well! I love spending time with you! I just met you today, but I never have I ever felt this good" she typed, her words half truths, half lies "Your presence just makes the day brighter! I am sure everyone else feels the same, am I right?"

Some people responded yes, and Ruby sighed. Good. She hoped this would help KAngel to stay on the good side of her fans.

Why do you care? You say so, she is just a streamer, if she is no use, then why try to help her?

Because there was no use in seeing a career in danger if she didn't benefit from it

That, or she was getting better being a big fat liar. Like KAngel. Like Ai.

"I am the one flattered now! It is sweet that someone as great as an angel wants to understand humans better. We love you being an angel, but we would also love you being a human, or me, at least" she kept writing "And I think you would make an amazing idol, too! You already make everyone happy, that is the core job of an idol, so the job would be perfect to you!"

Maybe in another moment she would have asked her privately if she wanted to join B-Komachi. With her unique hair and sweet personality, she would become the favorite of a lot of fans in no time. But there was the possibility KAngel was an avatar similar to the one Mimi had. And even if she wasn't, she still didn't want KAngel to get involved in her problems or be near them.

"Do you like to sing and dance, KAngel?" she asked in the chat "Maybe you could show us!"

Miku would've heard the little arguing between Ruby and the strange woman, but she decided to deliberately ignore it, feeling…rather small and pathetic.

She was used to worse by now- not for nothing she's had to change apartments more than once before. To say she lived paranoid about her surroundings or the people that plagued it wouldn't be enough.

Almost like a poor beaten puppy that despite it all, still loved her people. Or at least, some of them- the singer was too aware that before her fall, she managed to genuinely reach the hearts of many. That not all the fans were superficial. Some of them did actually feel better after meeting her, and that's what mattered to the ex-idol.

As soon as Ruby approached her table, though, Miku looked up and blinked twice. Her hands were rummaging inside her hoodie's pocket for a facemask that she was going to use later, leaving it on the table and smiling tiredly to the blonde.

"Oh! You're the girl that started clapping first!…thank you!" By her tone, someone enough experienced could tell that she was genuine, definitely tired, but her personality and nature pushed her to keep being cheerful even in a situation like this.

"I tend to bring back older songs in case the people from these places known them better but...was it your first time hearing it live or?…uh…wait…" Miku tried to remove some of her bangs from her eyes to look at Ruby better, before her eyes opened wide and she jumped on her seat a little.

Of course, covering her mouth pretty quickly, she looked around herself and leaned closer to the table, wanting to whisper something that only Ruby hear.

"Are…aren't you Ruby? From the new B-Komachi?…" She noticed how she also tried to cover her appearance, but why was she trying to go around undercover like her?…was she ashamed of coming to a place like this, or?… "Please, sit down!…if you're not busy, that's it. I don't mind the company!"