what an awful way to go...

[theofficeisclosed]

ah i suppose this would be useful for you all. these are the keys.

[theofficeisclosed]

jj oh n : )

[theofficeisclosed]

[[==_|_\\\\],[==_|===\\\],[=_\\\|=\\\|==_\|===\\\],[_\\\|=\\\\|==\\\\|=\\\\|==\\\\|\\\\|=\\\\|_\\\],[_|=\\\\|_\\\],[====|==_\],[==_|===\\\|===\\\\],[====|===_|==_\],[===\\\|_|=\\\\|==_\],[==_],[===_|==_|\\|\\],[_|=\\\\|\\|==\\\]]XXX!

[if it can’t remember her on its own, then i will help!]

[[==\\|====],[==|====|=_],[_\\\|=\\\\|=_\\\|====|==\|==_\|==_|=\|=\\\\],[_|=\\\\|_\\\],[_\|====|_|==_\]]X?

[do you recognize her john?]

[theofficeisclosed]

[[==_|===\\\|===\\\\],[===\\\\|====],[_\\\\|=_|==_\|==_\|==],[===\\\|====],[===_|=\\\|===\\\|=_\\\|_],[==_|===\\\],[===\\\\|===\\\|_\\\|=_|==\|==\|\\|=\\\\]]X.

[its so funny to watch it struggle.]

[[===\\\|====|====],[\\\\|=\\\|==\\],[==_|===\\\],[===_|=\\\|===\\\\],[===_|====|=_|\\|==\\],[\\\\|=\\\\],[=\\\|==_\|==\\],[=\\\|\\|===_|=\\\|==|===\\\\],[===_|==_|\\|\\],[\\\\|=\\\\],[==_|===\\\|===\\\\],[_\\\\|=\\\|=_|\\|===\\\]]XXX!!!

[too bad it was, would be, and always will be, its fault!]

[theofficeisclosed]

There has to be a clue somewhere, a name, a picture, anything. He was shaking, he hadn’t slept again. How can she just be gone? I’ve checked my notes, I’ve stared at the photos, her toys are still in the corner, she still has a room. And she still manages to stay just obscured enough. It’s on the tip of my tongue, I swear. How could she have been here and never existed all at the same time? please, god, i miss her.

[theofficeisclosed]

Hey! It's me again, I uh, brought you some hydrangeas! As a thank you, of course. Nothing more. Wasn't sure what your fav colour was..so I just got a mix. Hope you like them!

He holds out a large bouquet with an assortment of pink, blue and purple hydrangeas, offering it to you.

Oh! Thank you, these are wonderful. Haha, I probably wouldn’t have been able to tell you my favorite color anyways, who really needs to remember the little things?

The add on sounded like a bitter attempt at comforting himself over not being able to remember said “little things.” He does take a nice look at the flowers, glancing over the petals.

[evilredandscary]

Chase tilted his head ever so slightly, confused at your last statement, but shook it off lightly.

Well, I just thought I'd call in to you again anyways, you know? Sorry if I'm pestering you, it's just that talking to you helps me get my head on straight, clear my mind, right? I've been doing a lot of thinking recently and whenever you cross my mind it helps me see reason, it's odd. But anyways, I hope you like the flowers, I would've bought you a pot too, but I know you're not the type to garden, hah.

Hey, did you wanna know 'bout my folks and how we go about our day and stuff? I remember you mentioning it, if now isn't the best time that's fine too though, I don't mind.

Something was less abrasive about his demeanour when around you as to when he spoke with anyone else, a softer sheen unseen by the outside world.

[theofficeisclosed]

Well, I’ve been told I’m a pretty reasonable guy, haha. Maybe that’s why! Thanks for looking out, they’d probably die quicker in the pot than just in a vase for me, haha. Just gotta hope the fuzzy shit’s don’t get to them.

OH! Yes, ABSOLUTELY! C’mon inside, now, now—Sorry for the mess I don’t bother much, make yourself comfortable at the couch it’s to the left, right, fuck I always forget, left just sounds better to me what can I say, I need to get these situated in my office and grab another notebook and pen and—DON’T SAY A THING TILL I’M BACK I NEED TO HEAR EVERYTHING!

And as frantically as he started he left you there standing as he rushed upstairs. The home was of decent size, it was clearly meant to have been having another person living with him though. There was children’s books on the shelves and a few animal toys in the corner. The place was a mess, to say the least. Looked like he hadn’t cleaned it in a hot minute, but it was bearable. It seemed like the kitchen was the only spot he kept routinely clean. That or he just didn’t use it. There were a couple of bookshelves overstuffed with books and stuff that definitely didn’t belong on bookshelves. There was a few dead plants, and various other clutter. The furniture and technology was dated. A rotary phone sat on a desk and it looked like the lights were just about to die.

[evilredandscary]

Chase watched John fumble his way up the stairs as his mind started to wander yet again. There was a certain air of mystery that clung around John like a cheap cologne and he just couldn't pinpoint what made it so.

Chase cautiously made his way through the threshold of the door and sat himslef down on the old, lived-in couch. A layer of dust lifted as he sat down and made him cough once or twice.

He liked being in John's company a lot more than he anticipated, and wondered if he had ever enjoyed being with someone as much as this. He patiently awaited his arrival while he could hear John flustering around upstairs.

The house felt like an anachronism, between the old rotary phones, the amount of notes strewn accross the place and the children's books and toys in the corner, a painful reminder of something that once was. Chase didn't give it much thought as he waited.

[theofficeisclosed]

John rushed back down the stairs, carrying two notebooks and a pen this time.

Sometimes I wonder if falling down these damn stairs would make it quicker!

He grumbled as he nearly tripped. He went to go sit beside Chase, before dropping the notebooks and heading towards the kitchen first.

D’ya like tea?

He shouted from the kitchen despite the fact it’d still be plenty easy to hear him if he hadn’t. He doubled the water in the kettle without waiting for an answer and stared at it while it boiled.

After a moment, he slowly and carefully walked back to Chase, placing a tea cup on the coffee table in front of them.

He plopped down next to Chase, picking up the smaller note book and clicking his pen a few times.

Now! Whatever you want to tell, I’d love to hear!

[evilredandscary]

Chase smirked while his tail swayed slightly as John sat himself down next to him, his the tension in his shoulders releasing somewhat as he picked up the hot teacup.

Well, whatdya want to hear? My mother's tongue, my own folks, holidays, traditions, folktales, or whatever? Oh, and I'm assuming you wanna hear about my ma's side, I mean, there's not much info I could give ya on human texts that isn't already available online or somethin'. Oh, and I guess I could try and describe our biomechanics or whatever, but I ain't no college major! Hah..

Chase took a sip from the teacup but almost spat it out before realising it was much hotter than expected and burnt his tongue.

He hissed through his teeth as the cup was placed back down again, flapping his hand in attempt to "cool" his tongue.

Hey, what kinda tea is that, John? It's uh...it's hot alright!

His eyes were watering now, his hands used to the heat while his tongue was not.

[theofficeisclosed]

I’d prefer information you’re concrete on! Leaving an unknown is always better than having less than or even straight misinformation.

He said, he never had an idea of what to start with, he wasn’t sure what was most important to them. He knew that asking the sources could provide plenty of bias, but that’s how it had to go sometimes.

Do just start with what you know best or feel is most important, you’ve got plenty of time to tell me all about it!

As Chase burnt his tongue he couldn’t help but laugh. It was an obnoxious and loud one, but he cut it after a moment.

It’s just lemon tea. It’s the only one I have right now, haven’t bothered to get more. Tea’s got nothin’ to do with it, you just haven’t given it a moment to cool down. The kettle boils the water, you know.

[theofficeisclosed]

Hey! It's me again, I uh, brought you some hydrangeas! As a thank you, of course. Nothing more. Wasn't sure what your fav colour was..so I just got a mix. Hope you like them!

He holds out a large bouquet with an assortment of pink, blue and purple hydrangeas, offering it to you.

Oh! Thank you, these are wonderful. Haha, I probably wouldn’t have been able to tell you my favorite color anyways, who really needs to remember the little things?

The add on sounded like a bitter attempt at comforting himself over not being able to remember said “little things.” He does take a nice look at the flowers, glancing over the petals.

[evilredandscary]

Chase tilted his head ever so slightly, confused at your last statement, but shook it off lightly.

Well, I just thought I'd call in to you again anyways, you know? Sorry if I'm pestering you, it's just that talking to you helps me get my head on straight, clear my mind, right? I've been doing a lot of thinking recently and whenever you cross my mind it helps me see reason, it's odd. But anyways, I hope you like the flowers, I would've bought you a pot too, but I know you're not the type to garden, hah.

Hey, did you wanna know 'bout my folks and how we go about our day and stuff? I remember you mentioning it, if now isn't the best time that's fine too though, I don't mind.

Something was less abrasive about his demeanour when around you as to when he spoke with anyone else, a softer sheen unseen by the outside world.

[theofficeisclosed]

Well, I’ve been told I’m a pretty reasonable guy, haha. Maybe that’s why! Thanks for looking out, they’d probably die quicker in the pot than just in a vase for me, haha. Just gotta hope the fuzzy shit’s don’t get to them.

OH! Yes, ABSOLUTELY! C’mon inside, now, now—Sorry for the mess I don’t bother much, make yourself comfortable at the couch it’s to the left, right, fuck I always forget, left just sounds better to me what can I say, I need to get these situated in my office and grab another notebook and pen and—DON’T SAY A THING TILL I’M BACK I NEED TO HEAR EVERYTHING!

And as frantically as he started he left you there standing as he rushed upstairs. The home was of decent size, it was clearly meant to have been having another person living with him though. There was children’s books on the shelves and a few animal toys in the corner. The place was a mess, to say the least. Looked like he hadn’t cleaned it in a hot minute, but it was bearable. It seemed like the kitchen was the only spot he kept routinely clean. That or he just didn’t use it. There were a couple of bookshelves overstuffed with books and stuff that definitely didn’t belong on bookshelves. There was a few dead plants, and various other clutter. The furniture and technology was dated. A rotary phone sat on a desk and it looked like the lights were just about to die.

[evilredandscary]

Chase watched John fumble his way up the stairs as his mind started to wander yet again. There was a certain air of mystery that clung around John like a cheap cologne and he just couldn't pinpoint what made it so.

Chase cautiously made his way through the threshold of the door and sat himslef down on the old, lived-in couch. A layer of dust lifted as he sat down and made him cough once or twice.

He liked being in John's company a lot more than he anticipated, and wondered if he had ever enjoyed being with someone as much as this. He patiently awaited his arrival while he could hear John flustering around upstairs.

The house felt like an anachronism, between the old rotary phones, the amount of notes strewn accross the place and the children's books and toys in the corner, a painful reminder of something that once was. Chase didn't give it much thought as he waited.

[theofficeisclosed]

John rushed back down the stairs, carrying two notebooks and a pen this time.

Sometimes I wonder if falling down these damn stairs would make it quicker!

He grumbled as he nearly tripped. He went to go sit beside Chase, before dropping the notebooks and heading towards the kitchen first.

D’ya like tea?

He shouted from the kitchen despite the fact it’d still be plenty easy to hear him if he hadn’t. He doubled the water in the kettle without waiting for an answer and stared at it while it boiled.

After a moment, he slowly and carefully walked back to Chase, placing a tea cup on the coffee table in front of them.

He plopped down next to Chase, picking up the smaller note book and clicking his pen a few times.

Now! Whatever you want to tell, I’d love to hear!

[theofficeisclosed]

This you bro?

Not my thing.

[stinkordee]

errr, sorry for the rude question, what…are you? not meant to be a dig at you. i’m just curious! about you! please don’t cause me bodily harm

Nosy, nosy, nosy, was it a crime to leave people be? One outing, just. one. Where someone didn’t approach him. He was still on edge, after all.

…….Though this may be a good opportunity to talk about himself, not only was it interesting to everyone involved, it was also a good way to keep his memory … active. He turned, ready to talk, only for this mindset to shatter.

Your SUIT?? What the hell did you do to that thing?

[theofficeisclosed]

Oh—work is a little troublesome.

He looked at it…yeesh. It was really bad, and it was his favorite. His mind wandered to the ones that were perfectly fine in his closet, but he let that go. This was his favorite. He could just get it mended later.

I’ll get it mended later, y’know a lot of entities rely on biting and scratching and clawing…not fun for me or my clothing.

[stinkordee]

Well its terrible.

It had him looking at his own suit, he didn’t like the one he was wearing. They all looked the same, but he could tell they were different. The ones he actually liked were…dirty.

Anyway! You wanna hear about me? :)

His tail almost wagged(?) behind him, he would’ve started immediately but it was a matter of where to start, what he remembered.

[theofficeisclosed]

Ah, sorry. Didn’t mean to offend.

He pulled out a notebook and scribbled something down.

Oh, yeah! I’d like to hear…well anything you want to talk about! What sort of reptile(?) are you emulating? Is there a reason you’re essentially paper white? Do you sunburn easy? He glanced to the side of Dee. What’s with the tail? It’s a tie, right? Really, anything and everything, I’d love to hear!

he clicked his pen a few times as he talked, sketching something with a few notes beside it.

[stinkordee]

Uhh, hah! Well… Don’t think im supposed to be anything in particular. Disciples are their own sorta thing, also hence the uhh.. paleness? Scales help against sunburn—and, yeah, it’s a tie. :)

He started gesturing with one of his hands as he listed off answers to the mans questions, but noticed how fresh and angry the scars and scabs on his palm were and stopped doing so for the time being.

Although a smile was plastered on his face the whole time, it had surprisingly turned to something a little more genuine. The guy was clearly interested, and Dee had lots to say… it was just a matter of what was most important as to what he was, he figured.

I could start on the disciples, I guess? Species.. or, what I am, or—whatever, you get it!

[theofficeisclosed]

Absolutely! Tell me EVERYTHING!

He had a giddy grin on his face, he was interested in knowing! Getting information was so easy around here, they just…TOLD YOU!!! This was great!!!!

Oh, disciples, disciples okay—okay…

He scribbled down a few things, it sort of looked like his hands were shaking? Hard to tell if it was from the fact he hadn’t eaten in probably three days or from being excited to be able to get clear information.

Sorry, sorry, go on!

[theofficeisclosed]

Hey! It's me again, I uh, brought you some hydrangeas! As a thank you, of course. Nothing more. Wasn't sure what your fav colour was..so I just got a mix. Hope you like them!

He holds out a large bouquet with an assortment of pink, blue and purple hydrangeas, offering it to you.

Oh! Thank you, these are wonderful. Haha, I probably wouldn’t have been able to tell you my favorite color anyways, who really needs to remember the little things?

The add on sounded like a bitter attempt at comforting himself over not being able to remember said “little things.” He does take a nice look at the flowers, glancing over the petals.

[evilredandscary]

Chase tilted his head ever so slightly, confused at your last statement, but shook it off lightly.

Well, I just thought I'd call in to you again anyways, you know? Sorry if I'm pestering you, it's just that talking to you helps me get my head on straight, clear my mind, right? I've been doing a lot of thinking recently and whenever you cross my mind it helps me see reason, it's odd. But anyways, I hope you like the flowers, I would've bought you a pot too, but I know you're not the type to garden, hah.

Hey, did you wanna know 'bout my folks and how we go about our day and stuff? I remember you mentioning it, if now isn't the best time that's fine too though, I don't mind.

Something was less abrasive about his demeanour when around you as to when he spoke with anyone else, a softer sheen unseen by the outside world.

[theofficeisclosed]

Well, I’ve been told I’m a pretty reasonable guy, haha. Maybe that’s why! Thanks for looking out, they’d probably die quicker in the pot than just in a vase for me, haha. Just gotta hope the fuzzy shit’s don’t get to them.

OH! Yes, ABSOLUTELY! C’mon inside, now, now—Sorry for the mess I don’t bother much, make yourself comfortable at the couch it’s to the left, right, fuck I always forget, left just sounds better to me what can I say, I need to get these situated in my office and grab another notebook and pen and—DON’T SAY A THING TILL I’M BACK I NEED TO HEAR EVERYTHING!

And as frantically as he started he left you there standing as he rushed upstairs. The home was of decent size, it was clearly meant to have been having another person living with him though. There was children’s books on the shelves and a few animal toys in the corner. The place was a mess, to say the least. Looked like he hadn’t cleaned it in a hot minute, but it was bearable. It seemed like the kitchen was the only spot he kept routinely clean. That or he just didn’t use it. There were a couple of bookshelves overstuffed with books and stuff that definitely didn’t belong on bookshelves. There was a few dead plants, and various other clutter. The furniture and technology was dated. A rotary phone sat on a desk and it looked like the lights were just about to die.

[theofficeisclosed]

Hey! It's me again, I uh, brought you some hydrangeas! As a thank you, of course. Nothing more. Wasn't sure what your fav colour was..so I just got a mix. Hope you like them!

He holds out a large bouquet with an assortment of pink, blue and purple hydrangeas, offering it to you.

Oh! Thank you, these are wonderful. Haha, I probably wouldn’t have been able to tell you my favorite color anyways, who really needs to remember the little things?

The add on sounded like a bitter attempt at comforting himself over not being able to remember said “little things.” He does take a nice look at the flowers, glancing over the petals.

[theofficeisclosed]

John? Sorry I'm back so soon, I just wanted to thank you again for all that you've said. You've helped me realise that... I think I do love men. I'm hoping I can learn to accept it at some point but it just all feels so wrong, you know? It feels so unnatural to see a man loving a man, it's just stupid! But I think.. I think I'm improving. And I couldn't thank you more for educating me. So, I'd like to ask. What's your favourite flower?

He stands there, hands behind his back, a new light in his eyes that you hadn't seen before.

Well I’m glad you’re accepting yourself, glad I could be the push you needed. Oh! And don’t apologize, I’m happy to see you! Nice to see a friendly face around here, lots of people are…well I wouldn’t say unfriendly, just…off putting, that’s how we’ll put it.

John tapped against the little note book he’d been carrying earlier, it was plain and green. He flipped through the pages like that’d have an answer.

Not sure on my favorite flowers…I think, if I had to choose I’d choose hydrangeas! Or daffodils.

[evilredandscary]

huh. You know, I used to be a bit of a gardener, before I was evicted. You should've seen the amount of flowers we had- oh it was beautiful! But its not very easy to replicate that in a 500 square feet apartment, haha. Hydrangeas are great. It was always fun tampering with the acidity of the soil to change the colour, the little ones thought it was magic the way they could go from purple to blue to pink. Daffodils are great too, though we didn't grow as many of them. Sorry- I'm talking too much.

[theofficeisclosed]

No, no, I like to hear about it. I’ve never really grown flowers. Just..not good at it, haha. A lot of effort to take care of and I get distracted easily. Always disappointed my daughter.

I…didn’t know you could do that! That’s interesting, maybe I should put a little flower research on the side. Do you have any plants now..? I’d guess it’d be more difficult in an apartment…but I imagine you can get a few potted plants around!

[evilredandscary]

I have a few, some geraniums, some orchids and lilies. Hey, why don't I show you sometime? It's the least I could do, honestly. Once you get the hang of it, it's actually not too bad! My da taught me before he got cancer, some of the last memories I have with him.

Hey, I'm sure your daughter didn't mind that much. She sounds like a good kid. I'm sure you were a good father.

[theofficeisclosed]

I’d love to, sounds fun. I do feel like you’re only sayinf that because you’ve got a green thumb, really it’s embarrassing the way I’ve tried to grow flowers. I think I used to try to grow forget me nots, they were native to the area so I figured why not! …Didn’t work out too great, haha.

Ah, you’re right. She was a good kid, i think, she probably wouldn’t have cared all that much.

[evilredandscary]

...my thumbs are red, but thanks! I think? I like forget-me-nots. They're quite pretty.

You know, why don't we see each other more often? Maybe I could give you more information on my culture or something. I like talking to you, John. Hey, what is it that you're studying anyways? You seem like quite the busy guy.

[theofficeisclosed]

Oh, it’s just a phrase. Means you’re good with plants.

Oh I’d enjoy that! I rarely get the chance to get a good and full notes page, things usually, well…he gestures to his suit, don’t end that well. I study entities, or things and people of a similar vein, it’s been quite the while and I forget why I started the work…but I’m sure it was important if it put my life at risk, so I might as well keep going! It’s fun, anyways. Thrilling to not know if you’ll make it to the next day and the satisfaction when you do is unimaginable! I’ve got so many unorganized notes—but! I keep a bunch in a notebook I keep on me at all times! It’s wonderful quite honestly. I could show you my notes in full sometime, if you’d like! I’d love to share with you!

[theofficeisclosed]

John? Sorry I'm back so soon, I just wanted to thank you again for all that you've said. You've helped me realise that... I think I do love men. I'm hoping I can learn to accept it at some point but it just all feels so wrong, you know? It feels so unnatural to see a man loving a man, it's just stupid! But I think.. I think I'm improving. And I couldn't thank you more for educating me. So, I'd like to ask. What's your favourite flower?

He stands there, hands behind his back, a new light in his eyes that you hadn't seen before.

Well I’m glad you’re accepting yourself, glad I could be the push you needed. Oh! And don’t apologize, I’m happy to see you! Nice to see a friendly face around here, lots of people are…well I wouldn’t say unfriendly, just…off putting, that’s how we’ll put it.

John tapped against the little note book he’d been carrying earlier, it was plain and green. He flipped through the pages like that’d have an answer.

Not sure on my favorite flowers…I think, if I had to choose I’d choose hydrangeas! Or daffodils.

[evilredandscary]

huh. You know, I used to be a bit of a gardener, before I was evicted. You should've seen the amount of flowers we had- oh it was beautiful! But its not very easy to replicate that in a 500 square feet apartment, haha. Hydrangeas are great. It was always fun tampering with the acidity of the soil to change the colour, the little ones thought it was magic the way they could go from purple to blue to pink. Daffodils are great too, though we didn't grow as many of them. Sorry- I'm talking too much.

[theofficeisclosed]

No, no, I like to hear about it. I’ve never really grown flowers. Just..not good at it, haha. A lot of effort to take care of and I get distracted easily. Always disappointed my daughter.

I…didn’t know you could do that! That’s interesting, maybe I should put a little flower research on the side. Do you have any plants now..? I’d guess it’d be more difficult in an apartment…but I imagine you can get a few potted plants around!

[evilredandscary]

I have a few, some geraniums, some orchids and lilies. Hey, why don't I show you sometime? It's the least I could do, honestly. Once you get the hang of it, it's actually not too bad! My da taught me before he got cancer, some of the last memories I have with him.

Hey, I'm sure your daughter didn't mind that much. She sounds like a good kid. I'm sure you were a good father.

[theofficeisclosed]

I’d love to, sounds fun. I do feel like you’re only sayinf that because you’ve got a green thumb, really it’s embarrassing the way I’ve tried to grow flowers. I think I used to try to grow forget me nots, they were native to the area so I figured why not! …Didn’t work out too great, haha.

Ah, you’re right. She was a good kid, i think, she probably wouldn’t have cared all that much.

[theofficeisclosed]

Quite the odd fellow, hm? How much does it weigh? To have all of that on your two measly soldiers? Did it hurt when you became something that wasn't yourself? Was it painful?

>Hallu.<

Well I mean it’s tough work but—…What? I mean, haha, I’m still myself. The, er…it’s nothing that I—i can remember everything else just fine. I’m completely myself, we all grow and change with time. And—and sometimes change is painful, nothin’ wrong with that.

[hellohellohallu]

you're nervous. Does the metamorphosis of a butterfly or moth not kill the larvae it was before? Or does it simply forget the disgusting creature it had once been, and starts it's life Anew as the beautiful butterfly or moth?

[theofficeisclosed]

There’s nothing wrong with being a nervous guy. It’s good to keep your wits about yourself. And…I’m not sure. I’ve heard that the larvae actually keep their memories from before. Nature is funny in that way. Despite what you go through…you can come out the otherside better, and—and with the memories from before.

[hellohellohallu]

It's a euphemism, darling. You're a smart man, you should know that I'm obviously talking about you, of course. Not butterflies.

So, riddle me this; Was your metamorphosis painful? Or do you remember the tragic event that made it so? Are you the delicate and beautiful, yet violent and bloodthirsty butterfly, or do you just seek a new light while living peacefully like the moth?

[theofficeisclosed]

Oh. Right. I don’t…know. I don’t feel changed. I’m—i’m the same man. i’m the same as before. I’m not seeking a new anything, and I’m not delicate. You don’t do what I do and be delicate. There was no tragic event, nothing that— I didn’t do anything. So what if my daughter is…he wouldn’t say it. It’s in the past. It’s good to learn to move on, as much as it hurts. Humans change, but it’s no metamorphosis . I’m not stuck in a cocoon while I change. I’m changed with the world around me, I adapted, I learned, I grew. I’m human. Not some butterfly or moth, there’s a difference and your metaphors fall short.

[hellohellohallu]

the rhythm of your pulse beats faster when you mention her, did you know? Perhaps you are human, or something close to it, at least. It's not my honey to meddle with. I wish you the very best of luck, Mr doe.

Hallu "stood" there, grinning. It's head spinning around like a pinwheel.

[theofficeisclosed]

You…don’t make any sense. And I’m tired, so…It’s fine, it’s whatever. Just go. Have a nice day.

If he wasn’t exhausted from that conversation he would’ve been springing questions on Hallu like no tomorrow, but he was tired, and earnestly didn’t want to talk to them anymore.

[theofficeisclosed]

John? Sorry I'm back so soon, I just wanted to thank you again for all that you've said. You've helped me realise that... I think I do love men. I'm hoping I can learn to accept it at some point but it just all feels so wrong, you know? It feels so unnatural to see a man loving a man, it's just stupid! But I think.. I think I'm improving. And I couldn't thank you more for educating me. So, I'd like to ask. What's your favourite flower?

He stands there, hands behind his back, a new light in his eyes that you hadn't seen before.

Well I’m glad you’re accepting yourself, glad I could be the push you needed. Oh! And don’t apologize, I’m happy to see you! Nice to see a friendly face around here, lots of people are…well I wouldn’t say unfriendly, just…off putting, that’s how we’ll put it.

John tapped against the little note book he’d been carrying earlier, it was plain and green. He flipped through the pages like that’d have an answer.

Not sure on my favorite flowers…I think, if I had to choose I’d choose hydrangeas! Or daffodils.

[evilredandscary]

huh. You know, I used to be a bit of a gardener, before I was evicted. You should've seen the amount of flowers we had- oh it was beautiful! But its not very easy to replicate that in a 500 square feet apartment, haha. Hydrangeas are great. It was always fun tampering with the acidity of the soil to change the colour, the little ones thought it was magic the way they could go from purple to blue to pink. Daffodils are great too, though we didn't grow as many of them. Sorry- I'm talking too much.

[theofficeisclosed]

No, no, I like to hear about it. I’ve never really grown flowers. Just..not good at it, haha. A lot of effort to take care of and I get distracted easily. Always disappointed my daughter.

I…didn’t know you could do that! That’s interesting, maybe I should put a little flower research on the side. Do you have any plants now..? I’d guess it’d be more difficult in an apartment…but I imagine you can get a few potted plants around!

[stinkordee]

errr, sorry for the rude question, what…are you? not meant to be a dig at you. i’m just curious! about you! please don’t cause me bodily harm

Nosy, nosy, nosy, was it a crime to leave people be? One outing, just. one. Where someone didn’t approach him. He was still on edge, after all.

…….Though this may be a good opportunity to talk about himself, not only was it interesting to everyone involved, it was also a good way to keep his memory … active. He turned, ready to talk, only for this mindset to shatter.

Your SUIT?? What the hell did you do to that thing?

[theofficeisclosed]

Oh—work is a little troublesome.

He looked at it…yeesh. It was really bad, and it was his favorite. His mind wandered to the ones that were perfectly fine in his closet, but he let that go. This was his favorite. He could just get it mended later.

I’ll get it mended later, y’know a lot of entities rely on biting and scratching and clawing…not fun for me or my clothing.

[stinkordee]

Well its terrible.

It had him looking at his own suit, he didn’t like the one he was wearing. They all looked the same, but he could tell they were different. The ones he actually liked were…dirty.

Anyway! You wanna hear about me? :)

His tail almost wagged(?) behind him, he would’ve started immediately but it was a matter of where to start, what he remembered.

[theofficeisclosed]

Ah, sorry. Didn’t mean to offend.

He pulled out a notebook and scribbled something down.

Oh, yeah! I’d like to hear…well anything you want to talk about! What sort of reptile(?) are you emulating? Is there a reason you’re essentially paper white? Do you sunburn easy? He glanced to the side of Dee. What’s with the tail? It’s a tie, right? Really, anything and everything, I’d love to hear!

he clicked his pen a few times as he talked, sketching something with a few notes beside it.

[theofficeisclosed]

Quite the odd fellow, hm? How much does it weigh? To have all of that on your two measly soldiers? Did it hurt when you became something that wasn't yourself? Was it painful?

>Hallu.<

Well I mean it’s tough work but—…What? I mean, haha, I’m still myself. The, er…it’s nothing that I—i can remember everything else just fine. I’m completely myself, we all grow and change with time. And—and sometimes change is painful, nothin’ wrong with that.

[hellohellohallu]

you're nervous. Does the metamorphosis of a butterfly or moth not kill the larvae it was before? Or does it simply forget the disgusting creature it had once been, and starts it's life Anew as the beautiful butterfly or moth?

[theofficeisclosed]

There’s nothing wrong with being a nervous guy. It’s good to keep your wits about yourself. And…I’m not sure. I’ve heard that the larvae actually keep their memories from before. Nature is funny in that way. Despite what you go through…you can come out the otherside better, and—and with the memories from before.

[hellohellohallu]

It's a euphemism, darling. You're a smart man, you should know that I'm obviously talking about you, of course. Not butterflies.

So, riddle me this; Was your metamorphosis painful? Or do you remember the tragic event that made it so? Are you the delicate and beautiful, yet violent and bloodthirsty butterfly, or do you just seek a new light while living peacefully like the moth?

[theofficeisclosed]

Oh. Right. I don’t…know. I don’t feel changed. I’m—i’m the same man. i’m the same as before. I’m not seeking a new anything, and I’m not delicate. You don’t do what I do and be delicate. There was no tragic event, nothing that— I didn’t do anything. So what if my daughter is…he wouldn’t say it. It’s in the past. It’s good to learn to move on, as much as it hurts. Humans change, but it’s no metamorphosis . I’m not stuck in a cocoon while I change. I’m changed with the world around me, I adapted, I learned, I grew. I’m human. Not some butterfly or moth, there’s a difference and your metaphors fall short.