My Black Friday experience:
Seeing a woman get her arm broken by a man because she grabbed the last 3 blue towels in the box
Standing in line for a PS4 with a preacher who showed me how to use my keys to stab people if they try to steal things outta my hands
Watching a man who hit an employee over the head with a Doc McStuffins purse get tackled and carried away by two policemen wearing Rudolph antlers
Stampede at Khols over pillows
Getting in line behind a man with 16 blenders in his buggy and 4 more in his arms
Two women being dragged off by police after a fight because they both wanted the same vacuum cleaner
A man getting special permission by Walmart employees to check out ahead of everyone else “because he didn’t realize it was Black Friday and all he wanted was a jar of pickles”
America sounds fucking wild

















