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@theonviserys
Murder Is Easy Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Theon Greyjoy/Viserys Targaryen Additional Tags: kinda modern AU-ish
Summary: When Theon is sent to kill Viserys, he is distracted. Again. And again. And again. Turns out being a cold-hearted harsh assassin isn’t as easy as it always looked.
i wrote a theon viserys thing
yeah
im trash
Who would kiss who first in theonviserys do ya think?
AAAaaaAAAAA THANK ….. THANK U SO MUCH!!!! for this ask.
uh gosh ok. this is bad but honestly i think their first kiss would happen while they were both #drunk and #disorderly bc viserys is notoriously awful at demonstrating positive emotions while drunk, and honestly theon is kind of the same in some cases.
but i think theon would definitely initiate the first kiss. he just kinda reaches that Point of his where he’d be all ‘alright fuck it do it for the vine i guess’ cuz he’s just bad at decisions and gets tired of overthinking and throws himself at the problem in hopes that it’ll go well. also honestly viserys was probably saying something rly annoying/offensive and theon needs to find a quick way to make it Cease. (this is just a big mess of bad stuff im sorry lmfao this ship is not romantic or healthy at all srry lol!!!!!)
"IT IS 3AM AND YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO LIGHT FIREWORKS? ILL KILL YOU" au + theonviserys
OH I TIHNK I AHVE A POST ABT THIS SOMEWHERE?
honestly this could go both ways like either of them could be the one setting off fireworks, but i think with fireworks i tend to go w/ vis. cuz he’d just love them so much cuz ‘theyre pretty YET DANGEROUS like me’ (cue dany giving him such a side-eye) so he just sets them off and doesn’t care about anyone else who’s trying to sleep cuz he’s viserys ofc.
and theon is just so annoyed like ok listen asshole! people are trying to fucking SLEEP HERE!!!!! (not me obviously, im just watching a dirty jobs marathon BUT I COULD BE SLEEPING OK!) and viserys just refuses to stop setting off these fireworks like fuck you i’ll do what i want and then theon just grabs a box of lighters and ignites them all at the same time in retaliation like there is just no end to this baby shitfest and the only thing that gets them to quit is one or both of them getting badly burned/injured gOd.
"we met in the emergency room au" where theon's there after wrecking his ass during some showy stunt to Prove Himself, viserys is there bc he got wasted and tried to start shit with his sister's heinously buff boyfriend. they were destined to be, truly
this would be Some Shit. though i bet they wouldn’t so much ‘meet’ in the ER as theon was sitting around waiting to get treated for some broken fingers and an ankle, and he catches a glimpse of the barely conscious guy rushed in with serious burns. he has a minor douchebag moment of ‘thank god thats not me’
and by some coincidental turn of events they both end up in the same room after their respective procedures and viserys looks. a fuckin nightmare and won’t talk about what happened or do anything except scream at people. and theon keeps trying to joke it off haha this is fine i am dying youre dying its ok so do u like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain? and viserys gives up trying to get a room change after the millionth time and just keeps glaring at him stop talking please i am trying to Suffer My Ass Off here.
Who would top in theon/viserys tho?
i used to dedicate so much time to thinking about this like. how disgusting. im so fucking glad u have asked me i rly missed talking abt my boys… ask me more things…
Keep reading
skeleton
“Text Me” (#96). July 4th, 2004 04:25 PM.
bittersweet
bittersweet // panic! at the disco
The Wombats - Our Perfect Disease
sleep with me so i can put my freezing feet on you and probably take all of the covers and use you as a pillow
Imagine your OTP having rough sex when suddenly Person A hits their head on the headboard of their bed. Person B laughs so hard they can’t finish.
viserys is the one who always puts back boxes/bags of food after he eats the last thing and its empty cuz hes a lazy shitbag and he doesn’t wanna take trash out and theon gets soooo mad he gets soooo pissed and viserys thinks its hilarious and they fight about it so much like ‘WHY don’t you just. throw away the crap that u finish…. WHY’ ‘um why throw away trash when i kno ur going to?’ smfh
viserys pretends like he hates theon’s natural stink but…….there’s just…there’s just something abt that all-encompassing low-tide greyjoy musk that viserys finds really endearing (bleghh ew). and he tries to hide it bc he is a fragrant beautiful dragon prince. but when they cuddle and viserys gets a whiff of that ocean stench he's home for a while.
viserys sits under a frilly parasol and watches theon do his swim thing
'hey look dude watch me backflip into this pool' you're not supposed to do that
'hey asshole check this out I'm totally gonna swim the length of this whole pool in under 20 seconds' yah ok thats cool I'm reading be quiet
'i can hold my breath for so long ok dude time me' silently praying he will drown please please please
