Once again Doe caught Davey by surprise when she answered him. She could come back for training sooner. She would come back sooner. For him. It had to be for him, didn’t it? Or maybe she was just going stir-crazy, looking for any excuse to get back to work. Yeah, that made more sense. If she’d actually missed him she wouldn’t be making plans to go out with another bloke. Another bloke who was basically the opposite of Davey, which also meant he seemed like exactly Doe’s type. Even if she didn’t sound as excited as maybe she should have. But fucking hell, Davey did not need to sit here and hear about how bloody great Jay Yaxley was. Of course her parents had heard of him, bloody hell, what the fuck did the bloke even do? Yeah, Davey didn’t need this. It was time to leave. But before he could excuse himself Doe was speaking again and – “What? Hang on, they were back to his missing her again? How in the hell had they gotten back to that again? “Well – both,” he couldn’t seem to stop himself pointing out, as surprised and sort of miffed by the question as he was. Davey thought he’d made himself pretty clear, or as clear as he wanted to be given the fact that she’d been out planning a date with another bloke.
He let out a breath and raked a hand through his hair, frustrated and confused. What the hell did she want from him? “I – of course I missed you, Doe, do you really have to ask me that?” Sincerity and confusion were clear on his face, in his voice. Hadn’t he just told her he’d missed her? “Of course I’ve bloody missed you. I’ve even missed –” Davey paused a moment, trying to find words for it before he finally gestured between the two of them and let out a chuckle in spite of himself. “This, I’ve missed how bloody confusing you are, because I’ve been sitting here thinking that while I’d been busy missing you and waiting for you to come back and thinking you would actually care if I got a more impressive job or not, you were out setting up dates with blokes in suits with really impressive jobs that your parents are gonna like a hell of a lot more than they would ever like me. Only now it seems like you want me to give you a reason not to,” he finished, suddenly realizing that maybe that was exactly what she wanted from him. But – no. He wasn’t her type. She just wanted to shag him. But then why did she care so much whether he missed her or not?
“Don’t go out with him,” Davey blurted out, immediately wanting to kick himself. He frowned. Fuck, he sounded like an arse saying that. “I mean – that’s not – I’m not gonna tell you not to go out with him, that’s –well it’s shitty and it’s not really my call at all.” It wasn’t; Davey hadn’t grown up with Gwen Jones around constantly without picking up a thing or two. But that hadn’t been the point he was trying to make, so he quickly continued, “All I mean is – you’re an amazing bird, Doe. You’re so smart, and talented, and brave, and bloody determined, more than anyone I’ve ever met. And I don’t think you need some bloke in a suit with a fancy job title.” This was probably the part where he was supposed to insert that he was the bloke she needed to be with – but that didn’t feel quite right either, as much as he’d like it to be true. As much as he thought maybe it could be true. He couldn’t stop himself adding on, “But I also think you know what you want better than anybody, so…if that is what you want, then he’s a really, really lucky bloke. And – I’ll be very disappointed,” he admitted softly, because he was still hoping maybe that wasn’t what Doe wanted, and that was why she was still here talking to him in the first place.
Doe had inadvertently given Jay an opening earlier and he’d wasted no time taking it. Now she was clearly giving Davey one and it felt like he wasn’t. Disappointment flooded over her and she didn’t think she’d ever felt as embarrassed, not even when Ben Bones thought she’d been knocked up. What was she doing? Before she had a chance to do or think much else Davey was speaking up and Dorcas looked back up at him. Yes she did because she wanted him to miss her in a different way then everyone missing her. Doe didn’t say that, didn’t have a chance even if she wanted to. A slight smile played on her lips as he talked only it slipped again. Guilt coming up again. Maybe she’d blown it accepting the date with Jay. Or not. Davey’s blurted out words had her smile coming back, that’s what she wanted to hear. Normally she never would have wanted someone to tell her what to do. Would have been furious at a bloke who wasn’t her boyfriend trying to tell her not to see someone. But tonight she wanted Davey to say that and he had. He didn’t stop there. Her smile widened as he continued. At least until he got to the part where she was supposed to know what she wanted. Did she? Dorcas couldn’t help thinking that maybe everything she’d thought she wanted she didn’t. Not just a bloke but her career as well. It was something she’d been pushing aside, so busy it was easy to do just that. In the hospital she'd had nothing but time. Yet all that thinking had left her just more confused.
“I don’t know what I want anymore,” she confessed softly, not something she’d normally tell anyone but maybe Penny. “Jay’s everything I’m supposed to want, everything I thought I wanted. But I kept thinking about you when he was chatting me up.” That was a shitty thing to admit to. Doe couldn’t help thinking that maybe she was just a really horrible person that no one else should want. “That was even before I saw you in a button up and tie.” Which had caused her to forget Jay even existed. Fucking hell, she really was a terrible person. “I don’t care if you have an impressive job or not, Davey. The way you refused to be intimidated by my dad, told him what you did for a living without sounding ashamed of it and didn’t cower or lie or anything was way more impressive then a job title. I was really embarrassed how I acted at the hospital and wanted to blame it on the potions but actually I was really happy when you came to visit. It was sweet and thoughtful and I’m disappointed my family interrupted us. Just like I was disappointed you sat there and not beside me.” Doe wasn't sure what she was saying anymore or why she was saying it, but she couldn’t seem to stop talking. “You were right, I wanted you to give me a reason not to go out with him. He’s not who I want to go out with. I fancy a much more impressive bloke.”
And there it was. Doe fancied him. It wasn’t that she wanted to shag him. Well that too but it wasn’t only that. She had no idea how Davey had ended up getting her to fancy him. Except he was amazing. Brilliant and sweet. Brave. Maybe not ambitious but that didn’t seem to matter. Dorcas didn’t care if Davey worked at the Ministry or not. Doe had told Jay she was looking for a partner, an equal, someone who shared her goals. Her biggest goal was the end of this war, the safety of her fellow wizards as well as the muggles so unfairly affected by this. As fa as she could tell that wasn’t something Jay cared enough about to do something. But Davey had. Even before he knew about the Order he’d been willing to risk his life for someone he barely knew. Maybe she did know what she wanted after all and she’d just been looking in the wrong place. Regardless she’d just admitted to thinking of one bloke while making a date with another, that was awful. She was awful. Davey was probably going to laugh at her and walk off. She couldn’t blame him if he did.
