[thepizzaroom-blog]

His album doesn't drop for another week, but DC's finest (in my opinion) is passing the rock to Spin right now for a free stream of it early.

In this era of kiddy rap and kindygarten rhymes, Oddisee shows that his shit is all man. Fuck Weezy.

-Pepperoni Muscles

[thepizzaroom-blog]

Just let it ride. 

Re-imagining of some good classics.

[thepizzaroom-blog]

Triple Ho Show (HO HO HO)

SantaCon. The number one reason to dress up as a drunk-ass Santa roaming the city with other, possibly drunker, grown adults. It's also the number one reason Mrs. Claus is in the spank bank well into Spring. And while the girls dressed as Sexy Santa's were spreading their holiday cheer throughout San Francisco, it sparked a debate amongst my friends.

Before that, though, let me just say that I LOVE any costume themed event. For some reason, when girls - doesn't matter which type, it's most of you girls - are required to wear a costume, you love any reason to wear as little clothing as possible, turning normally mundane garb and professional wear into early Christmas gifts for my eyes (10 points to Gryffindor for the girl on the left).

But, yesterday, a particularly Sexy Santa walked by our group and after she passed us, a female friend became a bit upset and, whispering to just us, called her a ho...and this brought up some interesting conversation.

A mystery that will never be solved to me is why girls are always the biggest playa hater's on themselves. Girls are always talking on other's girls' success, ready to take a shit on another's reputation, quick to label each other sluts and whores, without even knowing a goddamn thing about the other girl. But it's these's labels that get me. Why are y'all upset when guys call you a ho, yet y'all don't mind getting at a girl for being one. 

You see, I come from a stance that will largely be met with opposition. To me, it doesn't matter, guy or girl, there's no such thing as a ho, whore, slut, etc.

Now if there's anything to be learned from the dating scene, it's that girls enjoy sex just as much as guys do, and girls engage in sex just as much as guys do. But because of a pesky double standard, society ain't all that willing to allow girls to have their fun. I say, if you like to fuck, then go ahead girl (or guy), get it in, no judgements from me. And that's how it should be. Who are we to criticize anyone for 1) doing what they want to do and 2) getting off?

In fact, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that it is the people that aren't getting / can't get any that are calling others ho's (read: player haters). Girls - you call other girls "ho" out of jealousy cause the "ho" does what ever the fuck she wants, having fun, getting attention from guys. Don't act like you wouldn't love that attention, too. Quit hating.

And if you're a dude saying that you don't want a hot girl cause she's a slut...#HOP. To me that just means that you don't know how to get it. If she's supposedly as easy as the label you gave her suggests, then why aren't you talking to her? Besides, who wants to bone down with an inexperienced girl anyway.

Now granted there are some low down dirty, thirsty ass people that you just shouldn't be touching. But if it ain't your business, I suggest you listen to what the Geto Boys have to say.

- Potassium Potatoes

[thepizzaroom-blog]

A month late on this freshie. Warm Brew always coming with it..

GIGGIN!

- Rusty Colossus 

[thepizzaroom-blog]

U Factor

I feel terrible for ugly girls. Not because they are ugly or unattractive - because that would be mean to feel bad for them. And not because I think uggers have no friends or anything. In fact, they make up a good portion of the women we know every day – and I definitely have two or five ugly girl friends myself.

This isn’t a groundbreaking theory, but the truth is, it’s so much harder for an ugly girl to get through life if she looks like a Hanson brother compared to a girl that makes my penis tingle.

Take a look at this chart I made using the expert tools from Photoshop:

 As you can see, the propensity for me to help a girl out is directly related to her U factor (the scale goes from varying degrees of “eww” to “ooh”). And the types of things I’ll do also correlates to how much of a semi a girl gives me. Guys will do anything for a hot girl if they think they have even the remotest chance of seeing her lady parts. Shit, I once smoked cat nip out of a pipe because some 34 C’s in a deep V-neck winked at me and told me it would get me high. Ugly girls..sorry. I’ll hold the door open for you..after I go in.

But this applies everywhere..especially the internet. Cruise through YouTube and you’ll clearly see how many more video views hot girls get over everyone else on the web. It’s the simplest of formulas: hot girl = rule the web (world). And that makes me mad that I’m not a hot girl.

Cause if I was, I’d probably be running around where hot girls hang out (presumably somewhere warm, where little clothing is required) with my eight million monthly page views, my advertising dollars, my diamond encrusted princess crown that some dude bought for me cause I showed him my left titty, and I’d be ruling the goddamn world.

-Randy Spears

[thepizzaroom-blog]

Reasons Why Ulysses King Hates Pizza

What a hater..

Ulysses King hates pizza because it reminds him of his first kiss

Ulysses King hates pizza because there is no such thing as a perfect circle

Ulysses King hates pizza because it infringed on his trademarked nickname, “XXL Meat Lover”

Ulysses King hates pizza because he has pepperonips

Ulysses King hates pizza because it goes straight to his nips

Ulysses King hates pizza because he gets the pizza sweats

Ulysses King hates pizza because it’s a messy hug

Ulysses King hates pizza because triangles are a conspiracy

Ulysses King hates pizza because it doesn’t fit in his cargo shorts pocket

Ulysses King hates pizza because it doesn’t match his shoes

Ulysses King hates pizza because he hates his yeast baked

Ulysses King hates pizza because it’s an Italian stereotype

Ulysses King hates pizza but loves the little white plastic tables in the middle