The Poopy TuTu

Figuring out mom-hood

[pugs]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[thepoopytutu-blog]

I can’t swim well, can’t ride a bike, but I can discuss gender neutrality in Jane Austen novels until the cows come home.

[thepoopytutu-blog]

Facebook

For my followers with Facebook, like my fledgling FB page “The Poopy Tutu” for shoutouts, likebacks, and good karma!

[thepoopytutu-blog]

Co-worker: "Did you know that the mom giraffe is 15 and the dad is only 5? That's messed up." Me: "5 is the age of consent in giraffe years."

[turing-tested]

this is a coherency free blog

if I ever say anything comprehensible let me know and I’ll delete it!

[thepoopytutu-blog]

Co-worker (Lisa): "Where is the giraffe at again?" Me: "New Jersey. I feel sorry for the baby. It's gonna be so cold, expecting the Savannah."

[thepoopytutu-blog]

My darling husband gets up every night whenever the baby makes so much as a peep and makes her a bottle. He refuses to let her cry it out. He can't stand the sound of her crying. I asked him when we were going to draw the line, when she was six and sleeping in bed with us? He replied, "The line will be there when she draws it in the dirt."

[thepoopytutu-blog]

I got married on my lunch break. It cost $37 and took fifteen minutes. I'm convinced it was the smartest thing I've done in years. Possibly ever.

[thepoopytutu-blog]

The public school system really ticks me off. One of my tutors had to give a twenty minute run-down of the Civil War this afternoon for a student who was writing a paper over it. The student had never heard of the Civil War. On a related topic, for some reason the topic of Martin Luther King, Jr. came up at home the other day. My fiance thought the Civil Rights Movement happened "around two hundred years ago." America needs to step it up. Foreign exchange students know more about the Civil War than we do.

[thepoopytutu-blog]

When I asked my fiancé why he was laying on my boobs, he responded, "The twins are fighting. I need to intervene."

[thepoopytutu-blog]

We found out someone we know is cheating. Me: "Wow, I guess the grass really is greener on the other side. You never really do know the person you've been with for years..." Fiance: "Yeah, but don't worry babe, I'm too short to see over the fence."

[thepoopytutu-blog]

Mom- Did you get your hair done? It looks different. No, but I did wash it yesterday.

[thepoopytutu-blog]

Someone is wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat and I’m probably going to lose my job today.

[fadingnowimruined-deactivated20]

Imagine that

The pharmacy says my insurance won’t cover the birth control & they have to get the doctor to fill out a form. 1) let’s see if the doctor even responds 2) meanwhile my bleeding continues 3)i feel drained.

My nephew had an MRI on his brain. They found a structural anomaly of his hippocampus. They were looking for something to explain his seizures or maybe not seizures….so now he has permanent hearing loss from cronic infections & fluid, random passing out with loss of bowel/bladder, and now his brain shows a structural problem. He’s only 11. I’m trying to stay positive for my sister & I’ll probably go to their neurology appt because I understand things better and can make it simple for her. This is sad stuff. I wish I could help him.

[thepoopytutu-blog]

Just being there is worth more than 5 doctors.

[jennyhoelzer-deactivated2016120]

im not going to kill myself …but I am going to complain about being alive for the rest of my life.

[thepoopytutu-blog]

Anxious Mother

Having anxiety and a baby is always feeling like you can’t do enough for your child.

Having depression and a baby is always feeling like you can’t help yourself.

Having both is always feeling like you can’t take care of anyone.

[thepoopytutu-blog]

Really feeling this today.

[thepoopytutu-blog]

Fiance: When my mom was angry, no one could sleep because she wouldn't sleep. When you're angry, everyone gets too much sleep because you sleep like fourteen hours a day.

[thepoopytutu-blog]

My baby gets excited when I play with her. She giggles and kicks and rolls around. Fiance says to tone down the fun; that if she gets any more excited, she's gonna break something.