We're All Trash

Just a bunch of lame Dirkjake and other Homestuck garbage

[theprinceandpage]

hm, ive noticed that despite the lack of updates, this blog continues to get traffic. like we hit 1,088 followers??? thats really sweet y'all. i was wondering if you guys were interested in me picking this blog back up? id probably be willing to do some things, but i don't think ill be posting three times a week again. if you want me to start writing for this blog again, tell me what you want (headcanons, drabbles, aus, first meetings, etc.) and ill decide what to do

[theprinceandpage]

Do you have any good fics to recommend? I like fluffy stuff lol

ahhhh im bad at this so i will refer you to this post that a mutual of mine made. Find a Temple, Build a Temple is my favorite. sorry this took so long ive been away c:

[theprinceandpage]

Dirk was half asleep and still on his first cup of coffee when he rushed out of his apartment building. He “unlocked” and climbed into the car, trying to jam the keys in, only to miss. On the third jab, he squinted at the ignition, trying to figure out why he couldn’t get the car started. A hand rested on his shoulder, and he looked up to see a very concerned man. It took a second for the half-asleep blond to realize that it was not in fact his car.

[theprinceandpage]

First Funeral

They were hanging out at the apartment when Jake got a call. His grandma had died from strange circumstances, and they needed him to help handle the funeral. Dirk had to take the phone from his hands because he couldn’t speak, and had tears running down his face. He was grief-struck, and refused to leave the apartment until the funeral. Dirk did his best to take care of him, rarely leaving his side. When the funeral came, they both dressed in all black. Jake read the eulogy with a surprising amount of self-control. They held hands almost the entire time. After seeing her casket buried, Jake was able to slowly move on.

[theprinceandpage]

Headcanon #20:

Dirk isn’t half bad at skateboarding, and takes his board down the streets when the Houston heat doesn’t threaten his health. Jake was always curious about the sport, and asked Dirk to teach him. Unfortunately, Jake absolutely sucked at it. He had a lot of trouble with keeping balanced on it, and often fell. After three slip-ups, Dirk wouldn’t let him ride without a helmet. Eventually, Jake managed to keep himself on the board by holding onto Dirk’s shoulders. That was about as much as he could do.

[theprinceandpage]

Because of his utter bullshit sleeping schedule, Dirk was reliant on coffee throughout high school. He somehow managed to zip through his AP classes, despite his sleeplessness. Yet on occasion, his apartment ran out of coffee and he was unable to get any before class. Half asleep, he would stumble into the abandoned auditorium and pass out in the back row of seats. Often, Jake would walk into the auditorium to fetch something for the drama teacher or work on the set, only to find a sleeping Dirk. When the bell rang, Dirk was still out, so Jake shook him awake before running off to his own class. This became a routine every time Dirk ran out of coffee.

[theprinceandpage]

First Dinner Date

After a couple months of dating, they finally sat down for an actual formal dinner date. Dirk was extremely nervous, constantly fiddling with the cuffed sleeves of his white button-up. Otherwise, he gave no sign of his apprehension, wearing a poker face as he waited for Jake to arrive. Jake, on the other hand, had forgotten how formal it was. Luckily, he showed up only a few minutes late in a green bowtie and pants, which wasn’t half bad. They stuck out like sore thumbs, and Dirk ticked off the waiter with his unfortunate dining selection. The only way their rowdiness managed to not get them evicted was Jake’s gentlemanly nature.

[theprinceandpage]

Headcanon #19:

Jake is a very close person. Growing up on an island with only his grandma, he learned closeness as a way of bonding. Once in the session, he was almost completely oblivious about personal space. When he’s unhappy, he will separate himself from the group. Meanwhile, Dirk keeps his distance from most.  Once he and Jake started dating, he became much more open to Jake’s closeness, and even came to love it. By the end, Dirk pushed to be constantly by his side. It wasn’t uncommon for him to casually hold Jake’s hand, or automatically pull Jake closer.

[theprinceandpage]

Dirk was a guardian angel who was sent to protect Jake English from harm but man, he had his work cut out for him. Jake is and always has been extremely accident prone. Yet, the spunky young lad definitely caught the interests of the angel, who bent over backwards for him. Grandma Harley always swore that if it wasn’t for that angel on his shoulder, Jake would be much worse for wear.

[theprinceandpage]

First Drink

They both turned 21 within a few days of each other, so they celebrated by going to the bar with Jane and Roxy to get their first drink. Roxy didn’t drink anymore and Jane said it wasn’t her cup of tea, so they were happy to help them get home. Dirk was a lightweight and Jake wanted to try as many drinks as he could. Jake was 10x clumsier than usual and constantly flirting with a passed out Dirk. The girls had their work cut out for them trying to get them in the car.

[theprinceandpage]

Headcanon #18:

Across almost all of the doomed timelines, Dirk couldn’t let go of Jake. His courtship of the page was often was damned the session. In the alpha timeline, it was inevitable for them to split (at least for a short while) to make it successful. The irony was that every session doomed by the pair ended happier for them than the circumstances in the alpha.

[theprinceandpage]

They’re both runaways who end up at the same bus stop. Dirk wants to escape the ugly shadow of his famous brother while Jake craves to get out of his small town. Neither of them realize that the stop has been taken off the route for years (no one used it), so they end up rambling about their problems to each other. It isn’t long before Dirk picks up on the bus dilemma, so they both walk towards the next stop. 

[theprinceandpage]

First Pride Parade

A few years into their relationship, Jake heard about the local pride parade and was ecstatic. He asked Dirk, who responded with reluctancy, but eventually agreed to go along. Jake also managed to convince Roxy and Jane to tag along, who had been to previous ones. Roxy showed up in a bisexual pride shirt and Jane wore a rainbow dress with asexual flags drawn on her wrist. Jake tied a rainbow flag to Dirk as a cape, while he wore an abundance of pride gear. At the parade, Jake peppered Dirk with kisses throughout the day, while proudly waving his flags. Roxy and Jane disappeared almost immediately, and Dirk constantly lost Jake in the crowd, only to find him with more souvenirs.

[theprinceandpage]

Headcanon #17

Jake is very spontaneous, while Dirk likes to plan things out. Alone, their habits are done in extremity. It’s not uncommon for Jake to pack up and leave to adventure somewhere for a week or longer without notice. Meanwhile, Dirk has to plan special occasions weeks, even months in advance. Together, they manage to even each other out. Dirk loosens up and Jake is more grounded. This feat is known as a miracle to their friends.

[theprinceandpage]

Dirk was not a fan of rollercoasters, but he’d be damned if he let his younger brother show him up. To speed up the wait time, they went as single riders and were put in separate cars, where Dirk sat next to a rather excited dork his age. As the car climbed the steep hill, they both gripped the handlebar so hard that their knuckles turned white. While Jake grinned ear to ear, Dirk gritted his teeth. Finally, the car reached the top, dangling them over the edge and then it stopped.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Dirk muttered, cursing his luck as he watched Dave’s car far ahead. His cheeks were red from a mix of anxiety and sunburn.

“Well,” Jake shrugged, sitting back, “At least we didn’t get stuck on top of one of the loops.”

“You know, that isn’t actually possible,” Dirk responded, his breath hitching as Jake jerked forward, shaking the car. “Also, can I ask what in the ever-loving fuck you are doing?”

“If we-” Jerk. “Push the car-” Jerk. “Maybe we can get it over the hill.” Jerk. The car groaned and Dirk bit his tongue.

“How about we don’t do that and just wait for the snotnose of an attendant to get it unstuck,” Dirk suggested, holding back a slew of curses every time Jake rocked the creaky ride.

“What’s the fun of that?” And with one last tug, the ride went plunging forward.

[theprinceandpage]

golly gee i love reading y’all’s comments on my posts and shit. honestly didnt think this blog would get any attention but wow. queue’s empty and I have writers block, but I’ll try to get four weeks worth in by monday. remember the submit box is always open for submit sunday! there’s a ton of people looking at this blog nowadays, so if you want to get ur head canon or au out there, feel free to drop it in!

[theprinceandpage]

First Morning After

It’s way too early and someone opened the blinds. Dirk is groaning and shielding his eyes while Jake is still knocked out cold. They’re both hungover and in a daze with pounding headaches that make Dirk wonder how Roxy used to do it. When he comes to realize what happened, his cheeks are flushed and he buries his face into the pillow. Finally, he passes out again and Jake wakes up holding onto Dirk for dear life. Letting go, he gets up and realizes what happened. Somewhat unfazed, he goes to the kitchen to make pancakes. It’s only polite.