Psyche’s Library

Library for @/ ThePsycheWrites twenties | she/her | queer | 18+ only | mdni

[thepsychelibrary]

Hi guys, it’s @thepsychewrites,

I made this account to archive and reblog my fics, and to give updates about when new content is coming out. No other authors works will be reblogged here (only on my main blog), and no chats/inbox questions/random posts will be posted. This way I don’t have to keep a tag list for my fics, and instead you can just follow and keep on notifications for this blog to see when I upload fics!

Love you guys🤍

[thepsychewrites]

The Complexities of a Black Hole — Pt. Two

A Bucky Barnes x F!Reader Series

Summary: You and Bucky leave for Wakanda, only he doesn’t know you’ve tagged along.

Warnings: This series and my entire blog is 18+ ONLY. MINORS / AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT. Frequent use of heavy and descriptive language. Mentions of sedation and anxiety drugs, brief/vague mention of a needle, brief mention of blood and violence, self deprecating thoughts, allusions to depression, angst, fluff, a tired and hangry Bucky (yes it needs a warning).

Word Count: 4K

A/N: GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS?? TCOABH TIME!! Yes, I’m aware I suck and this is a few days behind schedule BUT I’ve been adjusting to some new meds this week and I’ve been getting so much done (including prepping for my uni finals) that posting this was at the very back of my mind all week :,) BUT ITS HERE, and I’m excited for y’all to read this part <3 ENJOY BABES🫶🏼😚

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Wakanda.

Fifteen minutes ago you had never even heard of the place, but now the word rattled around in your brain, pestering you with each passing second.

Wakanda.

A concealed nation hidden deep between the vast mountain ranges and lush forests of eastern Africa, and home to the most scientifically advanced technologies the world had ever known. It was a place of serenity and hope, a glimpse into a glorious future. From what T’Challa, the man in the burgundy outfit, had said of it, Wakanda was a place that could heal even the most damaged of souls. A place of permanent renewal.

A place to start over.

They want to take Bucky to Wakanda.

Despite the method being meticulous and requiring careful execution, T’Challa described a way to rid Bucky’s head of the words that plagued him. The words that sent him on a rampage. The words that made him fight a war that could never be won.

There was just one stipulation.

Bucky would have to live in Wakanda for the time being.

T’Challa couldn’t give an estimate on the exact length of the stay, saying it might only take weeks, or if the treatment didn’t work as planned, possibly even months or as long as a year. There was an isolation period Bucky would have to endure first, the details of that part vaguely stated. A look crossed Steve’s face at the mention of it, somewhere between apprehension and uncertainty, but he would have to lock away his doubts for now. They’d have time to resurface if things went south.

You couldn’t bear the idea of going months without seeing Bucky, the thought alone making your stomach churn. He’s been your closest friend since joining the team… the person you’ve spent so much time with, shared so many memories with. It would be unbearable. You knew it would be for the best, Bucky needed help. But it didn’t make the idea any more tolerable.

To add onto that hurt — Bucky was refusing to see you. He had apparently been awake for a few hours now, only allowing Dr. Cho and Steve to be around him. It’s nothing to do with you, Steve said during one of the many times he came back to check up on you, he just needs time.

Now, standing a few yards away, Steve and T’Challa quietly discussed the process of moving Bucky to Wakanda. The less-than-subtle glances both men were sending to where you sat didn’t go unnoticed. You were sure they could feel the anxiety radiating from you, the wringing of your hands and the bounce of your legs giving it away completely. But each time they looked over at you it made that feeling grow tenfold. Were they talking about you? Were they getting annoyed at your incessant stare on their backs? Did they think you were eavesdropping?

Finally, the quick glances turned into full on eye contact from Steve, T’Challa patting his shoulder before swiftly departing, walking back toward the center of the Compound. Steve waited to speak until he sat down beside you, a comforting hand landing on your knee.

“He thinks this could really work.” Steve started, his focus trailing to your overly-bitten bottom lip. “But… there’s something else.”

You perked up at his words, brows knitted in confusion. “What is it?”

“T’Challa thinks it could be beneficial for Bucky to have a friend there with him. A familiar face.” Steve was treading lightly, unsure of how to ask a favor of this caliber. “Someone to help so he doesn’t get so… lonely.” He released a heavy sigh, looking right into your eyes. “When Bucky first got here… he followed me around like a lost puppy. Where I went, Bucky went. What I did, Bucky did. It took him weeks to finally feel safe enough to sleep in his own room. I don’t want him to feel abandoned again. And I would go, or have Sam go, but…”

“You have a lot going on here.” You finished for him, understanding where he was coming from. Steve was constantly needed, and even if he didn’t want to admit it, he was the glue to this team. If he were to leave to keep Bucky company, the sturdy structure he had built around this place would surely crumble.

Steve found both of your hands, pulling them into your lap and closing them in on his large ones. “I think you should go to Wakanda with him.” He finally blurted out. “T’Challa said his sister would be ecstatic to have someone so versed in astrophysics around. Plus, I think Bucky would much prefer to have you tag along than Sam or myself.”

His volume lowered to a whisper. “He seems to have grown pretty fond of you. I can’t remember a time I’ve ever seen Buck so… at ease around someone else.”

Mentally cursing at how right Steve was, you hoped he couldn’t feel the heat radiating off of your cheeks from his statement. It was evident there was another implicative remark lingering on his tongue, but he slowly closed his mouth before it could spring free.

Were the feelings you harbored so deep in your soul for one of your closest friends that obvious to everyone else? Maybe it was for the best that Steve stopped while he was ahead, because should he have let the words come to fruition, there’d be no hiding from the truth.

Because how could you blatantly deny the fact that you felt something more for Bucky? You’d walk to the edge of the universe and back for the man, so of course you’d stay with him in Wakanda. Time wasn’t a factor. Whether it took thirty days or thirty years, you’d go if asked. And this wasn’t something you were willing to pass up.

“You don’t think he’ll be mad if I come along? I mean… he isn’t really up to talking to me now. You know better than anyone how he gets about this stuff. Bucky’s always worried about people seeing him in a bad light, and I don’t want him to be upset with me.”

“Can I tell you a little secret?” Steve leaned in close as if he was relaying exclusive information. “Bucky could never be upset with you. You said it yourself, I know him better than most. So believe me when I say that he’d never hold anything against you.” His eyes caught yours in a sincere look. “You should go with him.”

You took a second to breathe, trying to digest all of this chaos at once. It was making your head spin, but it was obvious what your decision would be.

“When do we leave?”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Two hours later you left your bedroom, most of your belongings stuffed in three large suitcases and one duffel bag. You decided to leave behind most of your unnecessary trinkets and memorabilia, only bringing along the most important, top priority things… if a stuffed animal lion and your endless amount of journals counted as top priority. Finding your way to the hangar of the Compound, your stomach lurched at the reminder of events that occurred only hours prior. Visions of Bucky being dragged through, his head hanging down and blood dripping from his sides. It seemed like an absurd renaissance painting you’d see in the Louvre, taking your time to gasp and stare at its gruesomeness. Yet you were certain you would never be able to rid your mind of that memory.

Two gigantic aircrafts were stationed in the hangar, a woman standing outside of each, their heads shaved and their chins held high. Both were holding spears, a stoic expression on their face. Steve was talking to Sam outside the smaller of the two aircrafts, their conversation cutting off as you neared.

“Heard you were leavin’ too, Y/n.” Sam said as he wrapped his arms around you, swaying a bit as he held you close. He always gave the best hugs, besides Bucky of course, something you had realized very early on in your time with the team. “Wanted to see you off.” With a quick squeeze he let go, looking down at you with glossy eyes. The two of you had grown quite close in the last few months, so he wasn’t just losing Bucky for the time being, but you as well.

To quell your own tears, you playfully bumped his shoulder with your fist. “You better come and visit, Sammy. You know I can’t go that long without seeing your annoying face.”

That lightened the mood, both Sam and Steve laughing at your words. “I’ll come see you as soon as I’m allowed.” He assured.

The air seemed to grow thick as you looked at Steve, his head hanging low but his eyes trained on you. “You ready?”

Truthfully, no, you weren’t ready to leave your home behind. Sure, you had said your goodbyes to the rest of your friends and team earlier, and sure you had most of your things packed for this departure. But there never comes a time in life when you’re truly ready for anything, right?

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

With one hand on your back and his other reaching for the handle of your largest suitcase, he led you onto one of the jets, another woman stationed inside with her back to you. The craft was astonishingly advanced, fitted with a dark clean and sleek interior, making Stark’s quinjets look puny and outdated in comparison.

You could feel the soft humming of the jet rumbling beneath your shoes, the actual sound far too quiet to register in your ears. The inside was glowing with soft hues of orange and blue, strips of soft light wrapping around the center of the jet where plush seats stuck out. There was just enough light to see your way around, but not enough to strain your eyes. Dark wood paneling decorated the interior, carved out from a tree probably native to Wakanda, as you couldn’t place the grain elsewhere. The woman standing inside turned to you and introduced herself as Nakia, a friend of T’Challa’s. You could tell she was curious, her eyes studying you intensely. Her head was covered in a green print scarf, a beaded necklace holding the same shades of emerald laying flat against the bottom of her neck. She, along with the woman who stood guard outside, Okoye, as she was soon introduced, would be the ones taking you to Wakanda.

Okoye smelled of orchids, her presence warm and comforting. Tattoos marked her shaved scalp, the dark lines curving over her head in an intricate pattern. You quickly learned she was the general for Wakanda’s elite group of royal warrior guards, the Dora Milaje, her status most likely portrayed within the tattoo. She wore numerous gold bands around her neck, the precious metal dripping down further in platings that covered her shoulders and arms. They spoke briefly of their home, their words continuing to fill you with hope, your body feeling lighter and lighter by the second.

Steve said a quick goodbye, as he would be leaving on the other aircraft with a sedated Bucky, T’Challa, and another royal guard. The flight to Wakanda would only take a few hours, Nakia relayed, as the jet was apparently able to travel at incredibly high speeds. You pondered over the logistics, but there were many things in life that existed and were plausible far beyond your comprehension, so you ultimately let that thought fade out as you took a seat near the cockpit.

“So your friend,” Nakia broke the short bout of silence as Okoye got comfortable in the pilot chair, the jet slowly starting to move forward. “How long have you known him?” She didn’t have to name Bucky for you to know that’s who she was referring to.

“About eight months now. Kinda seems like a lifetime, though.” You laughed softly, wringing your hands together as they sat tense in your lap. You wished more than anything you could see him right about now, knowing he was freaking out internally about this whole fiasco. Bucky hated when everyone’s attention was turned on him, even the good kind of attention. He always felt scrutinized under people’s heavy glares, and despite being over six feet tall and possessing a body close to that of Hercules, he had become a master at making himself look small and non-threatening during times like this. But just as a fully grown saint bernard cannot shrink to the size of a chihuahua, Bucky could only do so much to hide himself away from the judgment the world pressed upon him.

“He must mean a great deal to you if you’re coming all the way to Wakanda for him.” Nakia remarked. From your peripheral, you noticed Okoye shaking her head at Nakia’s words. She was a curious woman indeed.

But, as much as you wanted to deny what she was insinuating, you couldn’t help but nod in agreement. “He’s one of my best friends. I couldn’t not come, you know? Bucky has a long road ahead of him, and I want to be there to help however I can.”

“You are a good friend. I am sure he will be thankful that you are accompanying him.” Okoye interjected, her gaze steady and facing the open sky. She let her words settle before speaking again. “We will reach home by nightfall. Try to get some sleep, both of you.”

Okoye was right. You were creeping on two days with no sleep, a drowsiness deeply settled in your bones from the lack of shut eye. Watching Nakia as she laid out across the seats opposite of you, you sent her a tight lipped smile before resting your head against the wall. You bent your knees close to your chest, your hands sandwiched between, and let the promises of Wakanda lull you to sleep.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

There was a cruelness that Bucky’s mind possessed, and recently its main goal was to taunt him at every turn.

He was the elephant in the room. The burden those around him had to help carry. The man that deserves no sympathy.

So why did they want to help him now? After he relapsed again and nearly tore his two friends to shreds? His arm was gone, the appendage he had come to resent – a weapon given to him, revealed as if it were a birthday gift… as if it were something he should be thankful for. Bucky was only thankful when it was forcefully ripped from his shoulder, the pain amounting to nothing compared to the relief that filled him when he looked over to see it dangling in Steve’s hands. Even if that relief was short-lived.

Now all he could feel was dread.

His body was feather-light, having been pumped with anxiety medication to keep his restlessness at bay. On the other hand, his eyes were practically nailed shut, the meds forcing him to sleep off the events of the last thirty six hours.

But even as he floated in and out of reality and a dark, dreamless state, the dread that clung to his limbs weighed him down. He was basically a brick being cemented into place. Bucky didn’t even realize that the stealthy aircraft carrying him like precious exotic cargo to Wakanda had landed, too drugged out to feel more than a distant beating of what he could only assume was his half-dead heart.

It was only when he heard the familiar rumble of Steve’s voice did he slightly perk up from his hunched over state.

“Buck? Buck…” Steve slowly called for the umpteenth time, his arm stretched out and gently patting Bucky’s back. “Bucky, we’re here.”

A pinhole of white flooded into Bucky’s pupils, the dim lighting of the jet's interior still too much for Bucky to adjust to. His hand automatically attempted to shield the source, but the pinhole only grew wider. It took a second, but once it clicked that Bucky was trying to block the light with his left hand and not his still-in-tact right, his face burned with embarrassment. Too groggy from the drugs, he opted to give up, blindly relying on Steve to help him sit upright and stand, the entirety of his weight pushed into Steve’s side as they stumbled off the aircraft.

Wakandan air smelled sweet in the spring. Like the runny nectar of a honeysuckle blossom, it was almost tangible, the sweetness. It’s the first thing Bucky noticed as his feet hit flat, solid ground. Socks — they had literally left Bucky in only a thick pair of black wool socks, his toes digging into the smooth, frictionless floor below him to stabilize his movements. A babbling river rushed by somewhere in the far distance, his senses heightened as his eyes were still slammed shut.

In a few seconds Bucky had gone from leaning against Steve to sitting down in a cushioned chair, his body no longer weighing heavy on his bones. He didn’t like this, incoherently muttering, “I can walk,” as his head lulled to the side before he jerked it upright. “Stop it — Steve stop, m’fine… lemme walk.” Bucky snapped impatiently, knowing it was Steve pushing him from behind in whatever wheelchair they shoved him in. Bucky thought he had protested a bit more, but he could feel his teeth scraping against one another as he grinded them together in his mouth while they entered an elevator of some sort.

Steve was talking to someone in the elevator, probably T’Challa, Bucky thought, as his hearing was still muddled and his brain foggy. He had quickly ditched the attempt to open his eyes fully, settling for the dull shadows he could see behind his eyelids instead.

At the faint ding of an elevator bell, some commotion started, a few people came to ask Steve mindless questions, and the sterile smell of a laboratory invaded Bucky’s nose. He didn’t notice being moved from the wheelchair, nor being laid in an observation bed of some sort. At one point he swore he felt a few pricks and prods across his forearm and hand, but he gave it little thought as he swam in and out of consciousness.

This time the sleep he fell into wasn’t dark and desolate like before. He wasn’t floating in empty space. This time he heard a voice soothing his nerves, a sweet voice of something familiar. A voice that belonged to an angel, perhaps, something gentle and reassuring, cooing at him from nearby. An image was conjured before him, something pulled right from his memories, as he had been there before. He wasn’t alone in some tiny laboratory bed, no. Bucky was back in your room at the Compound, the flickering scenes of The Princess Bride playing on in the back as you laid against his side, commanding his attention whether you realized it or not. Never once in the last seventy years had Bucky dreamt of something so pleasant, so calm. He wanted to stay here forever, in your room, on top of your bedsheets, right next to you. So, he stayed. Bucky stayed in that memory for as long as he could hold onto it.

When he finally woke a few hours later, Bucky swore he could smell your perfume as if it was lingering in the air around him still.

“Morning pal.” Bucky heard from outside the room he was in.

He quickly sat up at the sound of Steve’s voice, carefully scanning around the room and taking in his surroundings.

Plain white walls. A full size bed pushed into the corner where he currently laid, a blue and red quilted blanket strewn overtop of him. A door leading to a small bathroom in the suite was to his right. A quaint desk was pushed against the wall opposite his bed, a stack of books, a leather bound journal, some stationary, boxes of puzzles, a small Philco tabletop radio, and a lamp organized on it. One window jutting out next to the bed directed Bucky to a stunning view of the Wakandan landscape and the nature that lies beyond, and one long rectangular window was placed in the wall that faced the hallway of the laboratory. One door that led out was directly in front of the bed a few feet away, a small window carved near its top and an opening at its bottom.

Food, Bucky thought, That’s what it’s for. His stomach rumbled at the reminder of the calories he had not eaten in God knows how long.

Bucky glanced back toward the faint voice, finally seeing Steve standing stoic outside the window near the door, his hands shoved in the tight pockets of his jeans. “How are you feeling?” Steve asked, his expression never wavering.

“Tired.” Bucky answered, a short truth being all he could manage for the time being. He tried to gather himself a little more, but Steve caught his attention once again.

“Are you hungry?”

Bucky’s head picked up, his eyes set on Steve’s. “Starving.” He called. Bucky watched as Steve reached down, light pouring in from the opening at the bottom of his door as a tray of food slid across the floor toward the bed. Bucky perked up at once, throwing the quit to the side as he stood up for the first time in hours. He swayed slightly, gaining some stability as the smell of the food penetrated his senses. He grabbed the tray from the floor and sat on the edge of the bed, inspecting it.

A large, still sizzling steak was cut into bite sized pieces, paired with steaming mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables that gathered along the side of the plate. Also on the tray was a cup of applesauce, two oranges, and a bottle of water. Bucky promptly dug in, using the plastic utensils to shovel the food in his mouth. Through his bites he kept glancing at Steve, waiting for something else to come from the man. But, being as considerate as he was, Steve stood in silence and waited for Bucky to finish his meal.

Bucky chewed down the last of the green veggies, sipping his water quickly before wiping his lips off with the sleeve of his shirt. “So, what’s my sentence?” He asked jokingly, but still curious to how long they wanted to keep him locked away in this room to observe him.

“Fourteen days, Buck. Try to think of it as a break… a short vacation if you will.” Steve tried to reason.

“Oh, yeah. All the best vacations are spent locked indoors being watched like a hawk twenty-four-seven for two weeks straight.” Bucky huffed, turning his head to gaze outside the window. “But at least I got the best view in town.” The jungle outside vibrated with life, a low mist flowing through the tall trees, large soaring birds squawking in the distance.

“If this is what they think is best, I’ll get through it. I want these words out of my head… for good.” Bucky tilted his head slightly, taking in Steve’s large frame as he peered in at Bucky like he was looking at a sickly dog at the pound.

Steve nodded. “You’ll get through it. You’ve gotten through worse.”

The two men shared a comfortable silence. But another sentence lingered on Steve’s tongue. He watched in as Bucky dropped his head, the stump that was left of his silver arm laying stiff against his side.

Maybe Steve should keep this to himself, maybe it was better if Bucky didn’t know.

“Also,” Shit – the word slipped out of Steve’s mouth too quickly to swallow it back down.

When Steve refrained from saying more, Bucky got impatient.

“What is it, punk?”

Steve pushed his hands further into his pockets. “I uh,” He cleared his throat next, attempting to buy time or find something rather unimportant to say instead.

Bucky raised his brows, his heart beginning to pound louder from this odd behavior. Steve had to spill.

“I didn’t come alone.”

PART TWO PLAYLIST

🌿Songs that inspired this series🌿

— Spiriteaux

By Tony Anderson

— Welcome to the Jungle

By Novo Amor

— In Between Breaths

By SYML

— Still

By Ola Gjelio

I recommend listening to the songs in order as shown above. A master playlist will be linked at the end of the series.

Spotify Link to Chapter Two Playlist

[thepsychelibrary]

The Complexities of a Black Hole PART TWO is live on main now!!

[thepsychewrites]

The Complexities of a Black Hole Masterlist

A Bucky Barnes x F!Reader Series

☾Summary: Before you, he used to believe he was nothing more than a black hole, dragging everyone he cared about into the pitch black depths of what his life was. He believed he was cold, merely a bitter taste left on the tongues of those who knew him. Through a stay in Wakanda, the two of you grow closer than ever before. But was it too good to be true? Because how could a marvelous creation such as yourself come to love a terrible afterthought like Bucky Barnes?

☾Word Count: TBA

☾Warnings: This series and blog is strictly 18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Each chapter will have its own warnings and tags, but the overall warnings are as follows: This series contains heavy amounts of graphic and descriptive language. Mentions of PTSD, depression, anxiety, self deprecating & suicidal thoughts. Mentions of guns and other assorted weapons, drugs, blood, wounds, and violence. PLEASE TAKE ALL WARNINGS SERIOUSLY!! Heavy smut, p in v sex, oral sex, fluffy sex, etc. Friends > Best Friends > Idiots in Love.

☾A/N: HI MY LOVES 🫶🏼 Third times a charm? Yes — I am yet again reposting this series. But I am so deeply in love with this world and this story I have created (and will continue to create) and I want to share it more than anything. I hope you all enjoy this series. It’s been in the works for well over a year now. Updates are subject to change, but for now I’m aiming for once a week! Reblogs, comments, and feedback are very appreciated! I love you guys. Enjoy the world of TCoaBH 🌟

Feel free to follow @thepsychelibrary for updates on the series! (I don’t do tag lists anymore)

Main Masterlist

Chapters

** Indicates Smut

— One

— Two

— Three **

— Four

— Five

— Six

— Seven

— Eight

— Nine

— Ten

— Eleven

— Twelve

— Thirteen

— Fourteen

— Fifteen

Extras // Mood Boards // Blurbs

— Moodboard one / two / tba

[thepsychelibrary]

And the masterlist for the series is also up! All parts will be added over time to this post <3

[thepsychewrites]

The Complexities of a Black Hole — Pt. One

A Bucky Barnes x F!Reader Series

Summary: We learn the story of how you first met Bucky, and the whirlwind of emotions that followed. An evening of training and a cozy night spent with you and Bucky watching the Princess Bride made for the best day. Little did you know that only hours later something would happen to Bucky that would change your lives forever.

Warnings: This series and my entire blog is 18+ ONLY. MINORS / AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT. Frequent use of heavy and descriptive language. Mostly angst and fluff. Mentions of blood/slight and very brief gore, TWS, self deprecating thoughts, allusions to depression? If I missed anything please let me know!!

Word Count: 5.2K

A/N: The first part of TCoaBH. I wanna give a big thank you to my mutuals that helped me and supported me through this series so far with ideas and beta reading ( and a big thank you to @fandoms-writings for beta reading this chapter!! I love you so much Remi 😚) & etc!! I love you all so much. This series is my child and I’m very excited to share it with you all. Any reblogs, comments, and feedback is highly appreciated <3 Enjoy.

Main Masterlist

At the center of nearly every large galaxy in the known universe lies a black hole.

When a star reaches the end of its life cycle, it can have a dramatic exit, compressing its matter into the smallest form it can take and eventually collapsing. In some instances, when this star runs out of fuel and says its final goodbyes, it bursts into a bright supernova, leaving behind a new entity in its place – a black hole.

Bucky Barnes was a black hole. At least – that’s what he would compare himself to. Even on a good day, Bucky couldn’t help but to see himself as a gigantic pit of despair and darkness, sucking the life from any room he enters and being a massive inconvenience to everyone in close proximity.

Similar to a black hole, light never escaped Bucky. If you were to ask anyone who spent longer than an hour around him how often he smiled, the unanimous answer would sound something along the lines of, “Oh, well – I don’t actually think I’ve ever seen him smile.” Unless, of course, you were Steve Rogers. But even Steve would tell you that a grin from Bucky came few and far between, and felt a lot less genuine than before.

Similar to a black hole, Bucky Barnes was programmed to destroy. At least, that’s what he was told time and time again. And it’s what he has come to believe, no matter how many times he was reassured that he isn’t at fault for his own sins – Bucky would carry that belief to the grave.

Black holes are only dangerous if you get too close. The same can be said for Bucky Barnes.

Despite these deeply held beliefs, he had been doing better in the last few years.

Returning to a more normal life after being captured, tortured, and used by a terrorist organization for over seventy years was nothing short of difficult. Bucky had to relearn every aspect of life. How he needed to dress, how to tend to his basic needs like showering more than once a week and eating three meals a day, how to talk to other people in a friendly manner, how to ask for things when he needed help, how to use current technology – it was a tedious process. Most days he felt lost, like he had woken up on a foreign exoplanet where the technology was wildly advanced and nobody could understand a word he said. Actually – that’s exactly what it seemed like. On this planet, he was the alien. He was the oddity, the rare specimen that nobody could comprehend. It was isolating and rather miserable most of the time.

He woke up every day grateful for how far he’s come, but fearing the worst when he thought about his future. Steve compared him to an injured bird once – that despite his clipped wings, he’ll learn to fly again. Bucky scoffed at that – saying the only bird in the building was Sam. He was making improvements, slowly but surely, and everyone noticed.

However, there was one thing Bucky would always be cautious of, especially now in his newfound life.

Change.

It was inevitable, that much he was sure of. It threw him for a loop, made his mind stir with nagging thoughts all through the day and night. Even the little things would drive him crazy, like when Tony had all of the washers and dryers replaced and now they made a different chiming sound when the cycles were done. Something as simple as that nearly sent Bucky into a full blown panic attack. But it wasn’t just the little things like unfamiliar sounds – it was the people he had met along the way. The new faces and names he had to learn – living and working and experiencing life with them, getting to know them inside and out. What motivated them, what made them tick, what sent them spiraling – Bucky learned as much as he could.

The biggest change Bucky had experienced in the last year was you.

You came crashing into his life – quite literally – seven months ago. One afternoon Bucky was walking the halls of the Compound, trying to make his way outside so he could run on the track and “enjoy the fresh air for once” as Steve had said in a poor attempt to convince him, when, after turning a corner a little too quickly, you collided right into him. Apologies fled your mouth, backing away with wide eyes and looking as mortified as the time when Bucky walked in on Sam getting out of the shower, no towel in sight. The decorations you had shoved between your arms for your bedroom ended up scattered along the floor from the impact, little knickknacks rolling around the both of you. Feeling heavily embarrassed, Bucky crouched down, picking up the trinkets and offering to bring them to your room.

It was a memorable introduction to say the least. It still made him laugh when he thought back on it.

Bucky had always found it difficult to make friends. Even growing up, the only person he ever allowed himself to really get close to was Steve. Then you came along and flipped Bucky’s world upside down and inside out. There was something about you that enraptured Bucky, something indescribable that made him feel okay around you. Like the sky opened up and he could breathe again. It was an unseeable gravitational force that kept him within arms length at all times, which made it easy to get to know one another. Sure – there was a continuous hesitation from Bucky at the start, but he overcame that feeling rather fast.

“Tony didn’t tell you? She worked with Nasa for a while as a research scientist. She’s smarter than both of us combined, Buck.” Steve had informed Bucky a week after you moved in. Bucky was confused as to why he hadn’t seen much of you during mission briefings, questioning Steve on the matter. “Fury doesn’t want her in the field… something along the lines of ‘Would you send Albert Einstein into the Invasion of Normandy?’ Apparently she’s in the labs most of the day, helping Stark and Banner with the fun stuff.”

Bucky remembers the first time he saw you in the labs, with a large pair of safety glasses on as you handled some intense vials of chemicals, your tongue peeking from the side of your mouth as you focused, not even hearing him enter the room. He remembers tucking his leather-clad fist into the pocket of his trousers, the widening pit in his stomach dissolving at the sight of the insanely cute smile you flashed at him when you finally noticed his presence, muttering an apology as you hurried to put the liquids away to speak to him.

Nobody had ever smiled at Bucky like that before when he entered a room. He was used to grimaces, horribly hidden eye-rolls, or heavy sighs from others.

But you changed the game.

Eventually, he came to see you as a good friend. A close friend. Maybe even… a best friend?

Bucky wasn’t sure what having a best friend was supposed to feel like. He knew Steve was his best friend, and nobody could really replace him, but he and Steve had known each other their whole lives. They had earned the title of best friends when they were still in grade school, so it was natural for them to be close to one another, to care for one another. Steve could even be categorized as a brother at this point. But Bucky hadn’t made a best friend since.

Is this what it felt like?

He sighed into the open air, his hands twisting around a damp, sweat-ridden towel as he watched you saunter around the sparring ring with Sam. Despite the fact that you hardly ever went out on missions with them, you still enjoyed the physical training they offered to you when you joined. Bucky’s thoughts were getting the best of him again, distracting him when he was supposed to be focused, especially right now while they were getting some sparring in. He wiped the towel over his dripping forehead one last time before tossing it on the bench and standing up, fixing his hair in a low bun and making his way back over to the ring.

Bucky leaned against a corner post, his eyes following you intently as you circled Sam, fists balled up to block your chest, chin high with unwavering confidence.

At least, it was unwavering until you noticed Bucky’s stare on you. “Hey Buck, back for seconds?” You teased, your smirky grin only lasting a moment before your mouth fully opened in a gasp, your leg being pulled forward by Sam's causing you to lose your balance and land with a thump on the padded floor. A groan slipped from you, your hand going back to cradle your head. “God, Sammy, thanks for the concussion.”

A soft snicker came from Bucky, fortunately not loud enough for you or Sam to hear.

Sam simply shrugged his shoulders, offering a hand to help you up, his other sitting disappointingly on his hip. “Mhmm. You would’ve been able to counter that if you were paying any attention.”

Begrudgingly, you took it, pulling off the floor and regaining your balance. Once on your feet, you looked at Bucky and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, whatever. This is why I leave the crime fighting to you guys.” You mumbled, poorly concealing the smile creeping to your face as your hands moved to straighten your disheveled clothes.

God that smile.

Bucky would do just about anything to keep a permanent smile pulling at your pretty lips. It was like every evil thing that has ever plagued the Earth just disappeared when you beamed like that. Like nothing bad could ever happen again. And the way it made your eyes narrow and your nose scrunch up had Bucky’s cheeks turning pink, his head ducking down before you or Sam could notice. By the time his heart fell back into a normal pace, Sam was out of the ring and gathering his things while you chugged down some water.

“Hey, don’t forget,” Sam called to Bucky, his gym bag thrown over his shoulder as he faced the exit, “we still have that briefing tonight at nine for the trip to D.C tomorrow, so be there or be square. I think we all remember the scolding Steve gave you last time for poking around and being late. Again.” He said before promptly leaving the room, the glass door softly shutting behind him.

“Yeah Buck, you heard the man. Can’t be late again or Steve’s gonna get on your ass.” You said from the other side of the ring, your back against the rubber ropes.

Bucky scoffed, knowing it was you and your stupid new bedazzling gun that made him late last time. It took Bucky a solid four hours to pry the tiny fake jewels off of his holster, and of course it was right before a meeting with Fury. “You’re annoying.” He said with utmost sincerity.

Once again, Bucky was graced with a pull of your lips. “I know.” You said equally sincere.

There was a lingering gaze you left upon Bucky, a soft tingle traveling up the length of his spine.

He watched as your hands met at your front, wringing together in a shy manner. “So – you don't have to be at the briefing until nine… right?”

Bucky hummed.

“Wanna get a start on the Princess Bride, then? It’s next on our list.”

Oh, the list. A list you had curated specifically to get Bucky caught up on the wondrous twenty first century and all of the literature and films he had missed out on. The list was practically a mile long, filled with some of your favorites along with other suggestions from your teammates. Lately you had been raving about a book and film called The Princess Bride, a title that made Bucky assume it was just another fairytale story. But he would never be one to deny you, especially when you looked up at him with an excited sparkle in your eyes. Usually if a film accompanied a novel, you’d read the book first and then watch the movie adaptation, but without a copy of The Princess Bride on hand, the film alone would have to do.

Bucky allowed his lips to form a gentle grin, his heart beating wildly yet again. “Of course, let me shower first and we’ll start it.”

Thirty minutes later, after the both of you had scrubbed the sweat away from your bodies and freshened up, Bucky had found you in your bedroom with the lights off and an array of snacks laid across the foot of the bed. You were already laying down, clad in a navy long sleeved cotton tee and a tight pair of black shorts that left your silky smooth legs on display, a t.v remote in your hands, and your thumb pressing some buttons before the movie was pulled up. Upon seeing Bucky’s large frame leaning against the doorway you ushered him in, patting the empty spot of the mattress next to you.

Your eyes scanned his body as he moved to sit down, his plain black t-shirt hugging the muscles across his chest, his metal arm free of restriction. This is the Bucky you loved to see. He grew to be comfortable around you, especially in the quietness of your room where nobody else was looking in. Nobody else was watching him or expecting anything from him. It was just the two of you, exactly the way you both liked it.

Bucky huffed as he shifted his body to match your relaxed position, his hands clasping at his stomach. Though he was positive he couldn’t match your internal calmness, not when he could smell the coconut shampoo you had used in the shower, or the vanilla conditioner you often paired with it. The scent alone made his body tense up, his lungs filling to the brim with every breath he took.

“Now you have to pay attention to this one, Buck. It’s one of my favorites.” You teased quietly so as not to startle him in the current silence that surrounded you.

“I'll pay attention, don't worry.” He quipped back with a smirk, knocking his sweatpant covered knee into yours.

With another shared smile you finally pressed play, the opening scene flooding your room with bright colors. You leaned down to grab some of the snacks you prepared, a large bowl of popcorn, a bag of pretzels, and a few boxes of candy.

Bucky was slightly caught off guard, his brows furrowed as he turned to look at you. “I thought this was about a princess, who’s this little kid?” He asked, confused as to why a sickly boy was on the screen. “And who is that? His grandpa or something?”

“Just keep watching Buck, you’ll get it soon.” You giggled, knowing he'd have plenty of other questions and concerns as the movie played on.

As the old man sat down and opened the book he would read to his grandson, Bucky seemed to connect the dots a little better. He stayed quiet for only a minute longer before he had more commentary to spew.

Bucky wasn't expecting the film to be as lovey dovey as it was, especially in the first few minutes alone.“As you wish? This Westley guy sounds a bit whipped for that Buttercup, don't you think?” Bucky mumbled in between bites of popcorn, the bowl now resting in his lap.

You hummed in slight agreement. “I dunno, I think it's kinda sweet.”

Kinda sweet? Hmm, maybe Bucky should be taking notes on this, then. The way in which Westley looked at Buttercup oddly reminded him of how he often looked at you, with nothing but sincerity and reverence in his eyes. But the narrator said Westley was in love with Buttercup, and surely what Bucky felt for you didn’t mean he was in love.

Right?

As the movie continued, a story of princesses, sword fights, bad guys, adventure and love was unfurling before his eyes, Bucky tried his hardest to stay focused. He found his attention being swept elsewhere when you suddenly shifted closer to him, your head resting gently on the edge of his shoulder. He could feel each warm breath you exhaled against his skin, his nerve endings sparking. When you curled even closer into his side you had no idea you had just started a wildfire within the man. The heat of a thousand suns burned inside of Bucky from something as simple as your body next to his. It was voluntary, your desire to close the physical gap between the two of you. It didn’t gross you out, it didn’t make you flinch or cower. He nearly had the idea to pull you in further by wrapping his arm over your shoulder, but would that be too far? The second he said fuck it and began moving his arm, you spoke, stopping him in his tracks.

“Shit, is it nearly nine already?” You suddenly called, your eyes pointed up to the clock on the wall. “You should probably head to the meeting room before Cap comes and busts my door down.” With a quick press to the pause button the movie had stopped, the wildfire dying out as you pushed to sit upright.

His brows furrowed. “You’re not coming with?”

You hummed, a look of contemplation spreading across your features. “Do you want me to come with?” You asked sweetly, your fingers wrapping over the plastic remote as you laid it on your night stand.

All Bucky gave was a nod, but that was enough for you.

Bucky was silent as he walked next to you, too many thoughts invading his head to think about a single one clearly, let alone engage in small talk while he was at it. He was spacing out, the only thing keeping him tethered to the present was your blurry figure walking ahead of him to the elevators. He didn’t register getting in the elevator, nor stepping out and moving towards the meeting room, and not even sitting down beside you at the long conference table. Bucky eventually tuned back in when your knee began knocking against his. 

“Earth to Buck. You with us, bud?” You whispered next to his ear, his eyes focusing in on your concerned face, your look mirrored by Steve’s and Sam’s across from him. 

With a shake of his head he chuckled, playing off whatever happened. “Yeah, sorry – what were you saying?” Bucky turned to meet Steve’s eyes, the fog barely clearing. 

Steve was used to that foreign look on Bucky’s face, so he knew to tread lightly and keep the teasing at bay. “I said that I was glad you could make it on time, that’s all. Anyway, now that we’re here, let’s get started, shall we?” Steve said with the authoritative Captain voice he always used during meetings. He stood, shuffling to a wide screen and began detailing tomorrow's plans. Bucky was counting on you to be paying close attention, because he could hardly hear Steve, the muddled words drowned out behind the beats of his frantic heart. He was saying something about an abandoned building Fury had mentioned, a possible threat.

Like the world would run out of those any time soon.

Bucky slowly fell out of his spaced-out state, suddenly noticing the gentle circular patterns being drawn against his silver arm. The tips of your nails pressed against the chipped plates of his prosthetic, the motions barely registering from how soft and lazily you scrapped them across.

A thought crossed his mind just then, a memory seared into his brain of the first time you touched him.

“He doesn’t like hugs.” Steve had mumbled in your ear, pulling away from your embrace only to lean down uncomfortably in his gear and tactile suit. You were mostly hidden behind Steve’s large, towering frame, peeking out from around his bicep to study the panting man behind him.

The two had just returned to the Compound from a grueling mission, one that left a few civilians in critical care from the cruel acts of another narcissistic, egotistical evil-doer. They both came back utterly defeated and in low spirits, Bucky’s glazed-over eyes casting downward and refusing to meet yours as you stood before him.

Steve eventually walked away, his slight limp horribly masked by his ‘if I’m still breathing, I’m fine’ attitude, leaving you and Bucky alone in the eerily silent living room. You could hear the low, quick draws of breath invade his nose, the slump of his shoulders falling deeper and deeper by the second. The guy looked like he was going to fall over from exhaustion.

By this point, you and Bucky had shared a handful of conversations, a few of them lingering far past his normal social encounters. He was beginning to feel less guarded around you, noticing how isolated rays of the sun began to penetrate his long-standing concrete fortress he built for protection. So, when you stepped closer to his cowering body, he didn’t feel the sudden urge to back away. He didn’t feel the need to run and hide.

And when your arms opened for him, ever so carefully wrapping around his wide torso, your hands clasping at the bottom of his back – he had no urge other than to stay. He let you hold him for minutes, the two of you never leaving your spot, your feet planted solidly to the ground using your strength to hold the both of you steady.

He didn’t tell you at the time, but being so delicately shielded in your arms was the first time he felt safe that whole day. That whole week. That whole month.

No, who was he kidding? It’s the first time he felt that safe all fucking year.

Now, he longed for a touch he didn’t deserve. He yearned for the safety you provided, whether it was your body against his or your fingers grazing down his horrid, scar-ridden arm. It slowed the taunting words that raced through his head. It steadied his wretched heart. It was more generosity than he could ever hope to ask for.

“…So as I said, it should be an easy in and out. Fury deemed it fully abandoned, and from what I saw of it, I’d have to agree. The jet is leaving from hangar three at six sharp, so don’t be late. Especially you, Buck.”

The call of his name caused his eyes to shoot up, meeting the stern face of his captain. “Yeah, six sharp, got it.” Bucky confirmed with a slight nod. His mind was still wandering with the comforting drag of your fingers, wondering how long you’d hang onto him.

Eight minutes. That’s how long. Bucky counted each ticking second.

You eventually pulled away from him when the two of you stood in front of your bedroom door, Bucky walking back with you in a somber silence. He wasn’t too keen on the idea of another mission without you, even with Steve’s promise of returning the same day. Bucky didn’t want you to worry, and he knew that worrying was what you did best.

“Just be careful, alright? I know you always are but… still. No stupid decisions.” Your touch didn’t leave for good, your chest meeting his as your arms found their favorite spot against his waist. The top of your head was so close to his mouth, he had no other choice but to plant a short kiss to it, a lingering promise of his return mumbled quickly after.

Bucky kept his eyes on you as you disappeared into your room for the night, standing outside your door until he heard you climb into bed. It seemed as though, whether he was aware of it or not, Bucky might have been just as whipped for you as Westley was for Buttercup. Overstaying his welcome, he waited until the soothing sounds of your soft snoring floated to his ears, finally allowing his legs to carry him to his own bed.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Maybe you had every right in the world to worry.

Maybe Bucky wasn’t as strong as he thought he was.

Maybe he wasn’t fit for this job anymore.

Maybe he just screwed up the life he had begun building for himself.

Maybe what everyone else told him was true.

Maybe Bucky Barnes was nothing but a monster.

Frantic voices filled the air of the Compound, deafening orders being yelled into the room, your teammates running around with wide eyes.

Standing by the jet, motionless and panicked, you felt close to vomiting everywhere. What they said couldn’t be true, right? It couldn’t be. You refused to believe it. You refused to believe Bucky did what they reported back. The Bucky you knew couldn't have. He had gotten better, he was doing so good… making incredible progress. Surely it wasn’t that easy for him to re-enter that old headspace.

Right?

The Earth stopped spinning the moment you saw him. It seemed like the man you talked to barely ten hours ago had left, replaced with a stranger you could hardly recognize.

Bucky was unconscious, his body restrained and bloodied as he was dragged along the floor with Steve on one side and Sam on the other to carry him upright. His entire tactile suit was lathered in crimson, the color consuming him entirely. Steve was seething, his face sweaty and flushed, the veins in his neck and along his forehead protruding in anger as he barked at everyone to move out of the way. Sam was no better, his frazzled state only partially concealed by the stony expression he wore. You were frozen solid, unable to process the scene unfolding in front of your face.

As the men came closer you realized that Sam wasn’t holding onto Bucky’s left arm, but instead his shaking hands gripped at the edge of his dripping red kevlar vest. Forcing your eyes to his side, you immediately understood why.

Bucky’s left arm was gone. The silver prosthetic looked as if it had been viciously ripped off, mere remnants of what it once was left in its place, frayed wires and bent gears protruding from the damaged shoulder. A horrified gasp left you. Just yesterday you were holding onto that same arm, and in the blink of an eye it was just… gone? No – no… surely you had fallen into some ultra-realistic nightmare. This couldn’t really be happening. It couldn’t possibly be Bucky that–

“Y/n? You need to breathe.” A calm voice called to your side, a small hand pressing against yours.

It was Natasha. Her breaths were labored, yet no panic showed on her face. “He’s going to be–”

“Where are they taking him?” Your voice didn’t sound familiar, quiet and trembling with an uneasiness that hardly found you. Her hand squeezed down on yours, trying her best to steer you away from the full blown panic attack that was creeping up your spine.

You watched uneasily as they took him away, Tony, Bruce, Helen, and Clint jogging after them with loud stomps. Your feet were quick to follow – only to be hindered by Natasha’s hand to your chest. “Going after them now will do you no good. I’ll wait with you until we know more.”

Grinding down on your teeth, you hesitated. Screw waiting. But you knew she was right. Steve wouldn’t allow you to come anywhere near Bucky if what they said happened truly occurred. Reluctantly, you let Natasha guide you back inside and to the main floor living room.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

By the time any updates arrived, your fingernails were halfway chewed off, your leg bouncing up and down furiously from adrenaline. It had been hours since the boys came back, the sun now far below the horizon, a deep, unsettling dusk settling over the sky. Allowing your gaze to drift to the large window panes, you noticed how the stars were hiding tonight, protected by a sea of charcoal black clouds. Maybe they too were afraid of Bucky after seeing the violent acts he committed earlier.

Steve sauntered into the room, his eyes immediately finding yours as you stood up all too quickly. A breath lingered in your throat, waiting for him to speak.

“Bucky is going to be alright. He’s shaken and a little confused, but Dr. Cho has him stable.” Steve offered, barely getting the words out before you started in on the million questions inside your head.

“What the hell happened out there, Steve?” Sitting around for hours did nothing to calm you, tearing you apart little by little instead. “Simple recons don’t look like that.” You pointed a finger to the middle of the Compound, still having no idea where they took Bucky.

Steve’s head dropped, his hand coming to rub against his temple. “Fury and I were wrong. The place wasn’t abandoned — and it wasn’t just any old facility either. It was an old Hydra base…”

Your body seemed to shrivel under his voice.

You knew what was coming next.

“Please don’t tell me they–”

A single look from the man was all the confirmation you needed.

“It happened so fast… I couldn’t get Bucky out in time before they… before they started playing it over the intercoms. After he heard the first word — he looked at me with so much fear, and the next second he looked at me like he had no fucking clue who I was.” He took a deep breath, poorly attempting to cover the quiver in his voice. “We tried to get him out. But they had traps and guards started coming for us and… after Bucky stopped swinging at Sam and I he went straight for them. I couldn’t do anything but watch…”

He shifted back and forth, clearly not wanting to relive the events of earlier. “Then his arm… he got caught in a doorway and I had no choice.”

Your body swayed from the weight of this newfound information, Natasha getting up to stabilize you and move you back to the couch before your legs gave out. Tears pricked at your tired eyes, and you felt entirely helpless. One of your closest friends just had to relive decades worth of trauma because of a stupid mission gone wrong. It seemed unfathomable. No other mission, Hydra or not, had been this catastrophic for Bucky.

“When can I see him?” You feared the answer Steve would give.

“I’m not exactly…”

Steve’s words died in his throat as a gentle knocking came from behind him. The three of you simultaneously picked your heads up, eyes darting to the source.

Stepping out from behind the doorway was a tall man, his deep brown eyes soft and his expression calm and collected. The dark burgundy of his pants matched that of his wrinkle-free jacket, intricate gray detailings sewn in across the chest. It wasn’t anyone you recognized, yet he seemed oddly familiar. His voice drifted inside the room, smooth and precise.

“Captain — I just got off the phone with Shuri. They are ready whenever you are.”

PART ONE PLAYLIST

🌟Songs that have inspired this series 🌟

— April 10, 2019: Powehi - Image of a Black Hole

By Sleeping at Last

— Where We Landed

By SYML

— Atom 1

By Sleeping at Last

— Hold me Tight

By Berlinist

— Sunshine (Adagio in D Minor)

By John Murphy

I recommend listening to the songs in order as shown above. A master playlist will be linked at the end of the series.

Spotify Link to the Chapter One Playlist

[thepsychelibrary]

Chapter One of The Complexities of a Black Hole is now up on my main!!

[thepsychewrites]

Lost and Found | N. Romanoff

Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Summary: After finding where Natasha had been hiding the past few months since the fall out after the Sokovia Accords, you were determined to never lose her again.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, MDNI ;; Smut, fingering and oral (R receiving), descriptive language, mommy kink (sorry not sorry), slight praise, cum eating, this is depraved besties i’m not gonna lie, mentions of scissoring, nipple sucking.

Word Count: 3k

Author’s Note: Hi besties — I haven’t posted in AGES, so here’s my comeback 😎 I hope you whores enjoy. Reblogs n feedback are highly appreciated <3

Main Masterlist

———————

There are a few things in life you deemed regrettable.

The dress you wore to junior year prom. The obnoxious blue colored frames you chose for your first pair of glasses.Turning down a full ride to Princeton and the handful of scholarships other ivy leagues offered. Working for SHIELD instead of an organization less life-threatening and deceptive. Running as a fugitive of the law from saving your friends life and not registering into the Sokovia Accords.

Looking back on the decisions you’ve made, there was only one you’d go back and change if you were ever given the chance.

Keep reading

[thepsychelibrary]

FIC DROP ON MAIN FINALLY!!!

[thepsychewrites]

oh baby oh baby...

got any possessive bucky thoughts on your mind today?

oh do i… (thank you for this ask sweet angel🤍)

warnings: mdni!! smut, slightly dark!possessive!Bucky, smut, smut, and more smut.

Fuck.

Bucky was pissed off.

More than that- he was practically seething.

“You think you can just get away with being a fucking slut like that? Huh? Think you can just sweet talk every guy at that stupid party and get your way with them? Sorry to break it to ya sweets, that’s not how shit rolls around here.” Bucky growled in your ear, his brutal rhythm picking up even faster, his bare hips snapping against your ass as he pummeled his cock in and out of you.

You were an absolute mess under him, your face held down to the mattress by Bucky’s forceful grip on the back of your neck, your expensive dress long ripped off and tossed mindlessly to the floor, tears and drool falling to the comforter beneath your shaking body.

Normally Bucky was soft, sweet, and gentle with you. But tonight? After the absolute brat you were being all night long? After he caught you sitting pretty on Sam’s lap, the both of you barely tipsy yet somehow laughing together like you were trashed… yeah, he was rightfully angry. He knew you were only acting out to get a rise out of him. And if you wanted rough, he’d be more than happy to give it to you.

“M’sorry Buck, fuck, so sorry…” You panted breathlessly as his cock stretched you out, the sounds of him slipping in and out of you- thickly coated with your arousal- filling the air. His tip was pressing harshly against your cervix with every push, your stomach twisting as you neared your fourth orgasm of the night.

Bucky laughed at you. He fucking laughed.

“Aww,” He cooed darkly, “my little baby is sorry, huh? Don’t worry, sweet-pea. You’ll be fuckin’ sorry once I’m done with you.”

[thepsychelibrary]

new bucky smut just dropped over on main 😚🤤 just a short drabble from an ask hehe

[thepsychewrites]

Little Dove Pt. 3 | S. Rogers

You could never disappoint me…

Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Summary: Steve finally brings you to his house for dinner. How will he react when things take a turn and some truths come out?

Warnings: 18+ only ; MDNI ; Sorta smutty, heavy makeout sessions, some light angst/anxiety, soft!Steve, power imbalance, and language.

Word Count: 3.7k

Author’s Note: GUYS GUYS GUYS OKAY- I’m so so so sorry for the delay in part 3, life has been so fucking hectic and messy these last few weeks, but alas the time has come. Also, I apologize for the cliff hangar- but this bitch was nearing 4k words and I just had to stop it where I did otherwise it would’ve been nearing 7 or 8k by the time I was done!! But believe me when I say I won’t leave you guys hanging for long 😚😚 Anyway, as always, enjoy whores!!

Main Masterlist

—–

Expectations. 

God, they fueled your anxiety like no other. 

Was Steve planning for more than just dinner tomorrow? Did he want to have sex already? How many times has he had sex? What if he was secretly married? Was he aware that you’ve never had sex? Was it too early to have sex? I mean come on, it’s only the first date… Would there be any more dates? Did this even count as a date? 

Keep reading

[thepsychewrites]

Repeat After Me | J. Lockley

Jake Lockley x F!Reader, mentions of Steven Grant x Reader & Marc Spector x Reader.

Summary: You get back to the apartment after spending a weekend at your parents. Jake does what he can to make you feel better.

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: 18+ MDNI ; Light smut, fingering, some angst/ bad parent relationships, hurt/comfort, fluff, Jake being a big softie for reader, affirmations, uhhh i think that’s it.

Author’s Note: i had a really bad night when writing this, and i desperately needed comfort. this was the best i could do for myself, so here you go. decided to make this a (mainly) Jake fic bc why the fuck not. if any of u ever need anything, please reach out to my inbox. you are brave, you are valued, and most importantly, you are loved.

Main Masterlist

————

The soft jingle of the keys and rattle of the door handle startled Steven.

He had been up, despite the tiny black analog clock on his desk reading half-past three in the morning, flicking through a new book about the Ptolemaic Dynasty you had bought for him a week prior. As the door began to swing open, he looked up, immediately catching the slump in your shoulders and the heavy bags under your eyes.

Keep reading

[thepsychelibrary]

Little Dove Part 3 just posted on main @thepsychewrites

[thepsychelibrary]

Jake Lockley fic on main dropping at 10pm est.

[thepsychewrites]

I love your roommate!Bucky series!!! Can you write more about his size kink?🥵🥵

oh god where do i even begin?

Bucky knows he’s a lot bigger than average. Not even in length specifically, but his girth is so wide that you can barely take him halfway in your mouth unless you want a severely sore jaw later on. Each time he pushes into you it feels like the first time all over again as he quite literally splits you in half on his dick. No matter how wet you are or how many fingers he warms you up with, it burns just the same every time.

“God baby, still so fuckin’ tight, huh? Wonderin’ how many times I’m gonna have to fuck you until I just slide on in…” Bucky growls in your ear as his dick slowly breaches your canal, loud whimpers coming from you as you writhe underneath his heavy body. He pulls back, sitting back on his haunches to look at where you’re connected. His jaw twitches as he gathers saliva in his mouth, craning his neck down to spit on your pulsing core to help him slide in easier.

“You look so fuckin’ pretty like this baby, fulla my dick, taking me so well.” Bucky throws his head back as he bottoms out, his hands digging into the flesh of your hips to keep him upright.

Your mouth opens wide, your eyes screwed shut at the fullness of Bucky’s cock seated inside you. “Ahh! Oh fuck, Bucky- shit that feels good.” You whine, the heels of your feet digging into the mattress from the intrusion.

Bucky can’t help the feral feeling that washes over him when he sees the tip of his cock poking from under the soft skin of your stomach. He moves out unreasonably slow, only to push in with fervor and watch with a slack jaw as he contorts your insides for his pleasure. “Should just keep you stuffed all day long pretty girl, maybe then you could take me better, couldn’t ya?” He mumbles, the veins in his arm bulging as he fills you full of his throbbing cock. The breathy groans you let out only spur him on, his pace becoming brutal as you go completely dumb under him, his swelling tip and heavy balls the only thought on your mind as he completely ruins you.

[thepsychewrites]

Little Lavender Friend | B. Barnes

I didn’t mean to ruin your mood…

Roommate!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky are best friends and have been roommates for the last few years, the two of you having your fair share of quarrels here and there. But what happens when Bucky finds something of yours he isn’t supposed to- something that keeps him up all night, tossing and turning and almost making him feeling… jealous?

> Word Count: 5k

> Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!! THIS IS AN 18+ FIC. Here’s the filth: oral (f receiving m giving), fingering (f receiving), unprotected penetrative sex (f receiving), praise (mainly f receiving), lil bit of boob worship, cum play, size kink, innocence kink (only a little bit), loss of virginity (f), potentially dark themes but only in thoughts!!, Bucky’s thoughts are mentioned quite a bit but its not in his pov, pet names (sweet-pea, angel, pretty girl, sweet girl), mutual pining, heavy language.

A/N: ROOMMATE BUCKY IS MY FAVORITE BUCKY, OKAY? PRETTY MUCH PURE FILTH IM SORRY. First Bucky fic I’m putting up, lmk what you guys think! ALSO- I’m thinking of making roommate!Bucky into a series??? They’d probably be separate one-shots, blurbs and head cannons that could be read as a collection or series, so lmk what y’all think! Enjoy, whores <3

My Masterlist 

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Everyone says hate is a strong word.

But in this moment you needed a word stronger than hate.

Loathe. Abhor. Detest. Repulsed.

Even those weren’t good enough synonyms.

Keep reading

[thepsychewrites]

Sweet Like Syrup | B. Barnes

Roommate! Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky runs out of syrup, which means that he’s now dragging you along to the store with him to get more, and no, he doesn’t care that it’s one in the morning.

Word Count: 956

Warnings: Little bit of language, but other than that it’s just super fuckin’ fluffy hehe

Author’s Note: This is pretty short, but I really liked this idea and just wanted to get it out :,)) Lmk if you wanna see anymore roommate!bucky drabbles/blurbs <3

Masterlist

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Bucky was a sneaky man.

It’s why you almost didn’t catch him standing by your door, his eyes wandering, deciding if he really should wake you up.

Thankfully you were trained better than that, and peek your eyes open once you catch the sound of his breathing.

And the incredibly long sigh he lets go of.

Keep reading

[thepsychewrites]

Seeing Stars | B. Barnes

Are you sure you’ve never done that before?

Roommate!Bucky x Reader

Summary: You give Bucky head for the first time.

> Word Count: 1.5K 

> Warnings: 18+ MDNI!! This is literally all smut, and I am not sorry about it either. Oral (m receiving), praise (f receiving), spitters are quitters, use of pet names (sweet-pea, angel, baby), mild language. Not marked as F!Reader because no sex-specific terms for reader are used. Pretty sure that’s all. 

GIF credit to MaXimOff on Pinterest <3

A/N: Another smutty installment of my Roommate!Bucky series! I think I am slowly but surely coming out of my writing block because I wrote this in under an hour (unheard of from me), but unfortunately I’m getting closer to finals for college :/ Which means I’m going to be fairly busy, so my posting might be a little chaotic for awhile. Anyway, don’t mind my rambling. Feedback is always appreciated. Enjoy the smut, sluts!

Roommate!Bucky Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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Patience was something that you had always prided yourself on having plenty of. 

There were numerous times when you waited hours in inclement weather for missions or ended up standing in long lines during errands without a huff of annoyance ever coming from you. 

With that being said, seeing Bucky standing tall by the front door, dressed in all black with a nice navy jacket covering his broad shoulders and bulging arms made every ounce of patience drain from you in seconds. The two of you were supposed to be going on a date tonight, the second one Bucky insisted taking you on since asking you to go steady with him three weeks back. 

But there you were, practically drooling on the living room floor with your eyes raking over him unabashed. 

Keep reading

[thepsychewrites]

Guardian Angel | B. Barnes

Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You comfort Bucky after a bad nightmare.

> Word Count: 1.8K

> Warnings: Mentions of nightmares, TWS, violence, a past mission, guns, allusions to past depression/suicidal thoughts and ptsd. Quite a bit of hurt in this one guys. I apologize in advance. But there’s enough comfort at the end that makes up for it, promise. Also, not beta read and i’m writing this at 4:30 am so I apologize if it’s not good. 

A/N: I’m in a mood and life’s getting crappy again so y’all are getting some angsty shit today. Please take all warnings seriously. Love you guys.

Main Masterlist

Roommate!Bucky Masterlist

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Bucky could sleep through the entire night most of the time.

Tonight wasn’t in his favor.

Keep reading

[thepsychewrites]

Gold On Your Fingertips | B. Barnes

Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky lets you paint his nails in an attempt to cheer you up.

> Word Count: 1.9K

> Warnings: Reader is a bit upset for no specific reason, mentions of food and eating, other than that just a ton of fluff.

A/N: Not sure I love how this turned out, but I wanted to write it nonetheless. Title is from Billie’s song, Hostage. Thought it was fitting :) That is all- enjoy friends.

Main Masterlist

Roommate!Bucky Masterlist

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You weren’t having the best day.

That much was evident as Bucky went to leave the apartment around two in the afternoon, calling out to you that he was going to hang out with Sam and would be back later.

He stood by the front door, listening for your response before he left.

Nothing came.

Keep reading

[thepsychewrites]

Why Not | B. Barnes

Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: The time you asked Bucky if he wanted to be roommates.

> Word Count: 438

> Warnings: Mentions of gunfire. Other than that, just a back story and some fluff :)

A/N: This is part of the Roommate!Bucky series I have planned. This part is a prequel to Little Lavender Friend and will appear on the Roommate!Bucky Masterlist linked below. Enjoy :)

Roommate!Bucky Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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The words tumbled from your mouth in the middle of a mission.

The question had been weighing on your mind for weeks and you kept chickening out of asking him.

It was a big leap in your friendship, and you weren’t even sure he’d be up for it.

But Sam kept telling you to just ask…

So what better time to ask than when taking a breather from getting shot at by workers of the building you were raiding?

You craned your head around the next corner, ensuring it was clear before you opened your mouth. “Hey Buck?” You called, not bothering to turn around to look at his face.

He was pressed against the concrete wall behind you, keeping an eye on your backs as you pushed forward. “Yeah, doll?”

Your chest tightened.

Oh come on, don’t back out again, just say it you coward say it-

“SamsaidyouwerethinkingaboutleavingthecompoundsoIwantedtoaskifyoumaybewantedtoberoommates?” You blurted, the words squeezing their way from your mouth faster than Bucky could process them.

He blinked, looking at you quizzically.

“Whoa there, sweet-pea, are you having a stroke or something? A little slower and in English this time…”

You groaned, internally scolding yourself for being so shy in front of your best friend.

“Sam and I were talking a while ago and he said you were thinking of leaving the compound to live somewhere else. I’ve been thinking the same thing, so I wanted to see if maybe you’d be down for renting an apartment together or something. If you want…” You left enough room in the proposal for him to say no or to give you a stupid excuse you’d scoff at later.

You didn’t have to look at him to know that he was doing that stare of his, burning holes through your face from the intensity of his gaze. When you finally gathered the courage to peek at him, his face was a lot softer than you were expecting.

He hummed. “Okay.”

Your eyes narrowed, a brow raised. “Okay?”

Then came a shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah, why not? I wasn’t really wanting to live alone anyway. And you wouldn’t be the worst roommate in the world… I guess…”

You laughed softly, wondering why you were so worried about asking in the first place. “Okay. Wanna look at places when we get back?”

He nodded. “Definitely.” He sounded content with the idea, which lifted a weight from your shoulders.

More gunfire rang out behind you and you both sprung back into action. Bucky was gaining speed and running past you as he huffed and mumbled, “A pool. We’re picking somewhere that has a pool…”