Genre: Angst, Hurt no comfort(?), Angst with no happy ending(?).
Pairing: Defender!Strange x Variant!Sorcerer!Fem!Reader, Stephen Strange x Fem!Reader
Additional Character: America Chavez, Original!Male!Character, Wong (mentioned)
Summary: After months of being left in the dark, after your husband left and never came back. You finally had enough and search for the answer yourself, even though it means for you to use the Darkhold and to Dreamwalk to your alternate self. To ask Just one question.
A/n: My first post here on this site, what's a better way to start your whole writing here other than some angst!
So I've been stumbling over various Defender!Strange x Reader fics, fluff and smut. The evil voice in the back of my head asked; "Defender Strange died and his body never returns to his Universe, so people back in his Universe never knew what actually had happened to him,"
I thought, "this would be one hell of a fic,"
No beta reader, and probably some grammar mistakes. But still, enjoy~
Pacing back and forth between your room, biting your fingers as your mind goes into an internal debate. The room has been cleared of any obstacles, giving you the space you need to proceed with your plan. If you actually do it.
Months have passed by ever since you lost contact with your significant other. Sure it wasn’t uncommon for Stephen to leave you behind for his duties as both the Sorcerer Supreme and one of the Defenders, but months without contact or anything had left you in the dark with thousands of thoughts and the lingering terrible feeling inside.
To make things worse, just a day after his departure you were awoken with a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. The dreams you had a few days after didn’t help either.
You knew that he left to help America Chavez with the book of Vishanti. The fact that just before his departure with America, Stephen had told you about his plan if the worst-case scenario would happen.
“Whatever it takes, I need to keep America safe. Even if it means for us to let her go, for her own safety.”
You could only hope for their safety, which America seemed to get. In your dreams, well not technically a dream because you knew that it happened somewhere in the Multiverse, you saw her happily smiling with Stephen–other him–at Kamar-Taj as Stephen taught her Magic. She’s safe with another Stephen Strange, and probably another You too.
Then, what happened to your Stephen? Deep down inside, the voices and the rational side at the back of your head knew the answer. While the other side still held close the hope and the faith you had in him.
But as time passed by everything became harder for you to take in. Those dreams and how everything started to remind you of Stephen, started to overwhelm you. Nights where you bolted out of your sleep drenched in sweat and tears, where you reached for the other side of the bed longing for his touch as he hugged you closer. It hurts like hell to the point that you become desperate.
Desperate not for the touch of your beloved, or desperate for the happiness that you lost. You knew that it was impossible to get him back if you were just sitting here waiting for an answer.
You became desperate for an answer to what had happened to him. An answer. It was the only thing you wanted.
And that was how you got to this point. You stopped your tracks, focusing your gaze back on that damned book. The Darkhold. No one has the ability to travel between universes physically other than America Chavez.
The Darkhold had its own way, a spell that can move your consciousness from one universe to another. The risk is huge, with the potential of incursion and destruction of one or two universes. POTENTIAL. That's the keyword. This means there should be a chance that nothing will happen if you only use the spell once.
Of course, using the book just for a few minutes at the longest would hurt anyone but yourself, right?
Even if there’s a chance nothing will happen, the Darkhold demands something from its user. And sure the Defenders won’t let you go easily if they ever found out, you just need to be careful.
Just for an answer. That’s it. One simple question.
“What happened to Stephen?”
You sighed, convincing yourself; ONE QUESTION. Only this once you will use the Darkhold. After this, if the Defender found out or anyone found out about your wrongdoings. You’ll accept whatever the punishment will be.
You convinced yourself and any higher being who's currently watching you. Praying that they will let your action just this once.
A spell was cast, locking the door and preventing anyone from finding out what will occur here. Twisting your wrist in the air, you lit up the candles you had prepared for the spell, and you opened the Darkhold, revealing the spell of Dreamwalking.
Red orbs shone in your surroundings with strings of red light connecting each. When you close your eyes, you could feel the rush of power inside your veins, giving you temptation into the dark side of sorcery. Promising you the happiness that you lost if you continue this dark corrupted path.
A Universe where you can be happy with Stephen, a way to get him back.
You let out a gasp as you opened your eyes once again, hands trembling at the thoughts. You knew that the darkhold wields great power, maybe there is a way to have him back–No. What were you thinking?
Sparkling soft light from the gold band from your ring fingers caught your attention. Shame rose inside your chest from even thinking of using the darkhold for other purposes. Stephen would scold you for using this Darkhold once, you can't imagine how he would feel if he saw you walking through the dark path.
Twisting your hands, moving and searching between the orbs, looking through many versions of you. One of the orbs showed a flash of dark long hair with a blueish jacket. Found her.
You picked the orb and slammed it into the book, changing your position into a lotus as you float in the air. Dreamwalking has been cast.
Today was one of the rare domestic days you could have. With you and Stephen free from your duties as the Master of New York Sanctum, America had convinced the both of you to have a movie night together.
It has been a while since the last time you took a break with your fiance, and now also with your unofficial daughter. Since Stephen refused to leave the Sanctum after being away from it for around a week, the three of you came to an agreement to have the rest of the night watching Movies.
You sat next to Stephen and occasionally laid your head on his shoulder as America laid her head on your thighs while eating her Pizza slice. Twenty minutes into the Movie, you started to feel light throbbing on your head, you shrugged it off as some passing pain.
Until your ears began to ring, you started to sit upright pulling away from Stephen as you rub your eyes.
"You okay?" Stephen asked, to which you replied with a nod.
“Just a little dizzy, I think I’m going to grab some water.” you stood up as you flashed him a reassuring smile, “it was probably nothing, no need to pause the Movie,”
You walked away to the kitchen, but before you managed to reach for the glass, the throbbing returned along with the ringing. This time it was stronger, causing you to almost lose your balance and stumble over the counter.
You held your head trying to control your breathing in an attempt to reduce the pain. You reached for the sink, with a small mirror next to it.
“It’s okay, let me borrow this body for a minute,”
Your eyes widened in surprise as you turned your head to the mirror only to see a glimpse of yourself with a different appearance. Then everything went black.
You let out a soft gasp, vision slightly blurry before your mind finally adjusted to the new surrounding light. Briefly, ten seconds later, you turned your head around the room. It was easy to tell that this is the Sanctum kitchen, there's not much of a difference here.
Using the small mirror, you took a good look at this universe's version of you. Same hair color, same facial traits, same eye color but the most noticeable trait is none other than your hair.
This universe’s you had a (longer/shorter hair), a complete opposite of what you had. Then you remember your purpose here, you need to make things quick to decrease the chance of incursion.
“America! Can you give me a hand here?” you called for her.
Your heart aches when you hear her voice again. You took a deep breath, if you cry here it would attract more attention, and it was the last thing you needed. It was then you saw a gold band with an emerald cut around your ring fingers.
The aches inside your chest returned. So you were also bound with him in this Universe.
“One question,” you reminded yourself.
Her steps sounded louder before she finally waltzed in. You didn't have the heart to turn back to the door where she is.
“Sorry, needed to convince Stephen to pause the movie–hey are you alright?"
America walked closer when she realized that you hadn't looked at her at the moment. In confusion, she called for your name again before adding something.
"Are you okay? Should I call Stephen?"
Hopefully, she didn't realize how you stuttered at the mention of his name or the slight crack within your voice.
“I need to talk to you for a moment, just one question,”
“Uh, okay? What’s up?” she came closer.
You straighten your pose, inhaling a small breath before putting a smile on your face, then finally turning your face in her direction. There you saw her again, the little girl you once thought of as your own daughter.
America narrowed her eyes upon seeing your oddly soft smile. But before she could say anything, you beat her to it. Just one question.
“Hello America, it’s been a while, my little dove,”
No not that. Your heart spoke louder than your mind, it beat your major purpose.
“What are you talking about–”
Her eyes widened in an instant upon she realized what you had called her. It seemed like in this universe's version you didn't call her that way. You gave her a closed-eye smile.
“(Y/n)...? Are you that…(Y/n)?” her voice cracked.
When you nod, you can see tears forming in her eyes along with guilt. “It’s me, I miss you little dove,”
You changed your posture into something she's familiar with. It took America a few moments before she grasped the fact that it was you here, you that she met in the other universe. Subconsciously you opened your arms, and America ran straight into your embrace. She missed you too, and that gave you a warm feeling inside your chest.
After hugging you for a few moments, her rational side returned. America pulled her away from you as she gave a look of confusion.
“How did you get here?” she asked, where you only smiled when she finally came to a realization.
“Dreamwalking, I want to ask you a question.”
You could see the fear in her eyes, as America debated whether she should call for Stephen or not. After everything she had been through, America knew the consequences of using the darkhold and dreamwalking.
Quickly you put your index finger to your mouth.
"Please, I just want to ask you something, after that, I'll leave this Universe. This will be the last time we speak of each other, so please…" you exhaled, "just one question."
You had a picture of what she has been through, mostly through your dreams about this universe which you had quite frequently a few months before. You just hope that America would agree to this, hoping that there’s a part of her that will agree after everything you both had been through.
When America nodded, you let out a breath of relief. With all the courage you had, you let out that one question. Reaching her arms, you gripped her slightly.
“What happened to Stephen?”
America had a good idea of what you’d ask, but hearing it out loud brought back the ache she felt months ago. Seeing your pained expression didn’t help either, sure what he did had hurt her before, but the guilt is also there. Because, even before she got sent into this universe, Stephen still helped her. She took a deep breath.
"He's gone," America began.
Your body stiffened, so the worst-case scenario had happened. Your hands trembling, your throat felt like it was burning and your chest felt like it had been stabbed a hundred times. It took all you had to prevent yourself to cry here. Your silence is a cue for America to continue her story. She knew that you wanted a full explanation of it.
"We…we almost got the book, then the demon blocked our way, then…then…he tried to take my power," she continued on, "But before he managed to do it, the demon stabbed him in the chest. It got me, but I opened the portal, in his last moments Stephen helped me to escape its grasp then I stumbled into this universe, I'm sorry,"
“No, it’s not your fault—”
“Hey, you two took a lot of time here.”
The both of you jolted as you tear your gaze from America to the owner of the voice by the doorway. Your heart aches as you look at him. Stephen stood by the doorway with confusion. He looked different from your Stephen.
His hair was shorter and his goatee slightly more trimmed. But other than that, his cerulean eyes, salt and pepper hair. It was all it took for a single tear to drop.
“Stephen…” you breathed out.
Stephen’s expression shifted from confusion into worry. “Is everything alright?”
“YES! We–we’re fine!” America responded almost too quickly.
Of course, Stephen didn't let that go, he took a step and that's where you raise your hand to stop him.
“Don’t, please don’t come any closer,” you demanded with a strictness you didn’t think you managed to voice out.
As much as you want to throw yourself into his arms, bury your face into his chest as you run your hands through his hair. You know that you can’t, this isn’t your universe, he isn’t your Stephen.
“(Y/n) is everything alright? Come on, talk to me.” His voice softened, laced with genuine worry.
"Well…" America looked between you and Stephen before focusing on the male sorcerer. "Please promise me you won't be mad, and let us explain."
To be completely honest, you couldn’t expect him to be ‘not mad’. Although you hoped that he’ll let you be a few more minutes, now that you had your answer. You wanted America to know the truth. Changing your purposes again.
Stephen narrowed his eyes, oddly enough, as much as his suspicion rose, Stephen couldn't feel any terrible feelings about the situation. America sighed, before looking in your direction.
She’s not sure herself of how Stephen would react to this. But Stephen did use Dreamwalking himself once, so it should be fine, right?
“Well, She’s not our (Y/n), she’s the (Y/n) I met with the Ponytail version of you,”
Stephen's eyes widened, “You—”
"Dreamwalking." You cut him short, before smiling. "Hi Stephen."
“You…you shouldn’t be here, if you continue, our universe–”
"Yes, I'm aware. I just wanted to talk with her to clarify things, after that…" Your demeanor changed as you gave Stephen a serious look. "You'll never see me again, I'll leave this Universe once and for all,"
Stephen tore his gaze from you back to America. “This is dangerous, she can’t be much longer.”
"I know, I know, three minutes!" America pleaded, "After this, she'll leave us, please Stephen."
You could tell that Stephen in an internal debate himself, sighed and nodded. You didn't expect him to do so, a part of you guessed that it was because America asked him, and the other part that it was because of you. A soft spot because you were just you, from a different universe.
America sighed in relief before turning her direction back at you. It seems like Stephen wouldn't let the two of you alone, he watches from where he stood. From his stance, you knew he was ready to take action if you dared to do something.
“Before he left, he told me about this plan just in case the worst scenario happens, I know what he did hurts you. I’m not asking you to forgive him, but I want you to know the truth,” you take a deep breath. “He never wanted to hurt or take your powers. He just wanted you to be safe, when he knew that he couldn’t help you anymore, he wanted you to run away, to leave this universe. And…he knew if trying to take your power will you to open the portal, so he did it.”
You could hold the tears in, it began to stream down through your eyes. America herself bit her lips, as tears formed in her eyes again.
"A shitty plan, I know," you let out a pained laugh and bitter smile, "Not that I agree with it, but he did it anyway,"
“I’m so sorry,” America repeated as she held back a sob.
“No, no, no. It’s not your fault, don’t cry dove.” Gently, you wiped away her tears from her face.
“Thank you…” she whispered, “I won’t lie, it did hurt me when he tried to take my power. But, hearing the other side of the story, relieved me a little.”
“Finally hearing your side of the story as well as the answer also relieved me.”
You smiled, “I will try too,”
America return the smile, now that you had finally received the answer. It’s time for you to go, but before that. You tore your gaze from America to Stephen–who was still in that stance–, you gave him a small smile.
"Stephen, take care of her and me in this Universe,"
“Don’t worry,” he raised his hands, showing you a familiar gold band. “I will,”
"Good, Thank you." you turned your gaze back to America reaching her face, and stroked her cheeks with your thumb. "Goodbye, dove"
You shot your eyes open, the spell and ritual were broken. You stumbled down as the candles around the room died along with the fading red orbs. Before you managed to get up, a strong pair of hands gripped your arms, forcing you to sit up. The owner of the voice and arms looked you in the eyes.
“What were you thinking?! Do you have any ideas about your actions?!”
When you didn’t reply, the person shook you harder, slightly slapping your eyes. Causing you to snap back to reality. Upon seeing the pained expression on your face, he called your name again, this time with a gentler tone.
You know that he’s worried about you.
“Vion…” you called for his name.
His face filled with a pained expression as well as disappointment. He bit his lips, looking at you straight to your eyes,
"What did you do?" Vion–your younger brother–asked you. "What did you want with the Darkhold?"
“America, I talked to her,”
Vion's face turned into horror, "you…Dreamwalked? You Deamwalked to your other self?! Do you have any idea what it could have caused?!"
You tear your gaze from him to the floor, if he’s here then probably Wong already knows and warned the Defenders. Vion sighed, mumbling something under his breath before return his attention towards you.
"Sister, I know that you miss him more than anything, but this isn't the way. It's not worthy, whatever the Darkhold promised you regarding your happiness it's–"
“I didn’t use it to find happiness, not when I knew that he died!” you snapped back at him.
Vion shut his mouth, tears flowed from your eyes as you held back a strangled scream and sob. The pain and the emotion became overwhelming as it consumes you wholly now that there's only you and your brother here.
“I didn’t use it to get him back, to find my happiness somewhere out there,” you answered.
“To ask, just one question.”
amandla
titsay
theartofmadeline
vaporwave
gummygunk
turnnoffyourmind
romaincrisis
