“sounds like you’re getting old,” julian jests, grin intact. “but if that’s what this means for you, what’s that say about me?” likely that he’s ancient. he sure as hell feels it, what with everything he’s gone through. losing multiple people you love will do that to a person; you grow up in an instant but somehow still not fast enough to pull the thread between you and the deceased closer on the timeline.
“yeah, well. it’s not the caring part i’m opposed to. it’s the shitty reality that i’m gonna end up disappointing her.”
over and over again. julian has no doubt he already has done exactly that on numerous occasions, and he’s uncertain over why he’s chosen tonight of all nights to admit this aloud; not only this, but he’s done it directly to taewon of all people… someone julian is sure will relay the message back to amira. but despite all of her hovering ( or what julian perceives her presence to be as of late ) he cannot deny he cares for her, like a sister he never had but was destined to coexist with.
“yeah. come on, can’t risk any weirdos out there seeing her alone and trying something.”
as they leave the symphony of nightlife sounds and fresh air enters julian’s lungs, there’s a visible change in his posture. gone is the need to appear perfect on the off chance that someone is lurking nearby with their phone camera at the ready. his ears are ringing, but only a pinch. expected, from how loud the bass was cranked up on the speakers. he often wonders if he’ll need hearing aids by forty with how much sound pervades his ears on a daily basis.
“what are you up to these days then, other than making sure princess pain-in-the-ass isn’t getting kidnapped? i feel like i’m out of the loop.”
“SOMETIMES IT DOES FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING WAS MANY LIFETIMES AGO,” he quietly agreed with the sentiment. like there was a silent understanding between them despite their experiences being starkly different. maybe it was their similar outlook toward life, something amira didn’t share with her friends. she still had that light in her (something taewon was aggressively determined to safeguard).
but wasn’t that light exactly what julian needed?
“you might... i have,” he spoke up softer, unsure if he should speak this at all— and to julian out of all people. it wasn’t like him either to speak his heart out either but somehow he felt julian would get it... as if they shared a discreet nod in a crowd of people. “we might have that in common?”
illegal races, underage drinking, getting into more fights than he could count, pushing her away, masking his feelings with venom, and then vanishing without a word for more than a year. he wasn’t exactly the ideal man... his daduncle was right, maybe he was his father’s son after all.
“but i guess even fuck ups like us can get great friends.”
it was what kept him pushing, if someone like amira cared for him then maybe there was something good in him.
taewon becomes quiet then until the sharp night air hits his face. the silence felt more like home now that his life consisted of hiding away in the corners of the night. julian’s company was an easy one, he didn’t feel obliged to speak or put in a spot. instead, he laughed, a loud and open kind of laugh.
“mostly just that, keeping her highness safe is a full-time career. i’ve been modeling and doing what dad wants me to do career-wise and i got super tattooed. what about you? how’s everything going?” it was convenient to leave out the dead and turned into a demon part.
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