q: who are you? @thereezychronicles - Tumblr Blog

Despite not growing up in a Catholic household, I’ve always participated in Lent. It probably has to do with the fact my older cousin, who I admire, went to a Catholic school, and she always participates in Lent.

I feel like I’ve always been connected to the internet, and it’s become worse. I’m giving up social media for Lent. No Twitter and no Instagram, my biggest vices; so much of my time on social media is wasteful. Now, I’m typing on here b/c it’s physically easier than writing in my journal [I have long false nails], and I want to outline the things I plan on doing to fill my time.

I want to read more; I have a goal of reading 50 books this year. I want to get back into drawing; I’m having my loved ones send me photos of themselves. I want to cook more healthy, delicious meals and workout. I also want to paint a self-portrait. I bought gold foil.

I also want to get a side hustle; I’m way too smart and too talented to not have one. My problem is directing my energy into a project and the actual execution of the project. I’m good at following orders, but I'm not good at self-directed actions... I lack discipline.

And I'm going to get back into yoga. I’m going to journal more. And I’m going to work on my coping mechanisms.

There are a few more months left to this year, and I’m excited about my birthday. For the most part, moving to NYC has been positive and good. I had some bad parts like getting my heart broken and mocked/ignored/not stood up for when it came to my rapist. But, I have a good paying job, I’m making friends, and I got to fulfill a 13-year-old dream. I’m also living in a room that I absolutely ADORE, and I have a good therapist.

However, there are some things that are extremely frustrating to me. I met someone off of her in 2011, and they seemed cool b/c of our shared interests and trauma. They turned out to be a manipulative psychopath, even revising history. It’s interesting how they write things like “[redacted] was the first person I told about my rape this year” when in actuality... you called me the day it happened. It’s manipulative as hell to hop on MY plan to go to Japan for NYE, make up stories/revise history, and then tell me I’m crazy for being so hung up “on a penpal.”

I wish you would have killed yourself, at least the parts of you that makes you a terrible human being. Nobody is copying off of you nor do they want to be you. Your wigs are terrible, your skin looks like refractory eczema, and you just have so much hate in your heart... why do I know so much about the trauma of your friends? Why do you tell me so much about people you supposedly care about/love? That should have been my first clue that you would do that to me.

It’s just the gaslighting and coordinated manipulation that kills me. I’ve heard of abusers doing those things; my friend told me about her ex-bf who had people coordinate their lies. I swear, I want people to honestly go to therapists or just institutionalize themselves. Y’all are menaces to society. And then to say some batshit things like “you’re wishing bad karma on me for being sick.” Like... I didn’t even know you were sick, and frankly I don’t care. The only person I wish ill on is the nigga who raped me, that’s about it.

The gaslighting bothers me so much because of what happened to me earlier this year with the person I was dating. IDK, when you are a survivor of emotional and sexual trauma, it is sometimes really hard to be certain that your reality is true. I feel like I need to have emotionally draining and/or defining conversations in writing. That way people can’t flip the script and pander to whatever audience.

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Tabria Majors should be where Ashley Graham is

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Tocarra Jones should’ve been there

thighetician

Tocarra truly the prototype. It’s been 14 years and I can still remember exactly where I was standing when this popped up on my moms tv:

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threesideddream

that was the exact moment Tyra lost her rabbit-ass mind cuz standing before her was irrefutable proof that she wasn’t That Girl and she didn’t have the range

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Tyra: “My life is a lie”

hbicprettyprincess

Tocarra deserved better. She has her own bra line but she should be more famous then Ashley Graham. But she ain’t white or light skin so her career never took off.

dynastylnoire

Exactly.

remo-ny

Dong Jie for Harper’s Bazaar’s #Hello如懿 shoot

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I like violence, she’d shrieked at me. I blame my mother. A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort.

Sharp Objects (2018) Falling / Milk

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planetpower-blog

See you soon~!

nobody really follows me here, so I'm okay with writing down these really pathetic thoughts that I normally would put in my real life journal. it’s hard to write these thoughts because my mind thinks so fast, but it feels so painful to actually write them versus there is a degree of separation if I'm punching in letters.

I still miss him even though I know he was a piece of shit to me. he was my almost. I tried so hard to make it work and he didn’t want to or want me. I feel so bad for yelling or getting upset, I feel like I'm crazy or verbally abusive. I intellectually know that... people in relationships, even good ones, they get upset and talk to each other crazy and do crazy things to each other, so I am not alone or isolated. I'm so used to being silent because abuse taught me to be silent.

I want him to miss me or feel bad or have regret, but I doubt he does. he has a girlfriend. he’s probably really happy with her. I keep on looking on his Twitter, hoping I’ll see something that indicates he feels bad or has feelings or whatnot. I keep on hoping he sees me RT’d on my TL, and that he goes on it.

But honestly, what I wish most of all is that I didn’t meet him. I WAS SO FUCKING HAPPY in NYC! I’m for the most part okay, but I am still sad over him. I ask God what the fuck does He think I needed to learn? I didn’t need this heartbreak, at all. I’m trying to believe that Lyndon is not for my greater good, at all. I’m trying to believe that who Lyndon is, he is going to cause women he dates greater pain, and God knew what I could handle.

He lied to me about so many things, and it makes me sick to see him still pretend to be this good person. I just want God to help me erase him from my head but I simultaneously want a run in. God, just please give me a sign.

ninja-pyro

Unsho Ishizuka passed away today at the age of 67 from Esophageal cancer,

His voice work in Japan was extensive and varied from anime to video games to narration to redubbing foreign movies, the image above is just a small example of his work

Odds are if you’ve watched subbed anime, you’ve probably heard his voice once or twice

He also gave voices to many of the pokemon in Japanese dub besides just playing professor oak and he will be difficult to replace for that series

https://www.behindthevoiceactors.com/Unsho-Ishizuka/

supersonicart

Kate Wadsworth, New Work.

Brilliantly gorgeous new work by artist Kate Wadsworth (Previously on Supersonic Art) for her solo exhibition, “28 Summers,” currently on view at Kailua Gallery in Kailua, Hawaii until September 17th.

Don’t miss Supersonic Art on Instagram!

Keep reading

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“Life” via weheartit

idontknowokayhelp

Me: *listens to my own playlist*

Me: fucking masterpiece

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The Three Elements of Self-Compassion

1. Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment.

Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. Self-compassionate people recognize that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals. People cannot always be or get exactly what they want. When this reality is denied or fought against suffering increases in the form of stress, frustration and self-criticism. When this reality is accepted with sympathy and kindness, greater emotional equanimity is experienced.

2. Common humanity vs. Isolation.

Frustration at not having things exactly as we want is often accompanied by an irrational but pervasive sense of isolation – as if “I” were the only person suffering or making mistakes. All humans suffer, however. The very definition of being “human” means that one is mortal, vulnerable and imperfect. Therefore, self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to “me” alone.

3. Mindfulness vs. Over-identification.

Self-compassion also requires taking a balanced approach to our negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. This equilibrated stance stems from the process of relating personal experiences to those of others who are also suffering, thus putting our own situation into a larger perspective. It also stems from the willingness to observe our negative thoughts and emotions with openness and clarity, so that they are held in mindful awareness. Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be “over-identified” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity.

Via self-compassion.org