Ninja-Pyro @ninja-pyro - Tumblr Blog

We here at flork-of-cows-official would like to take the opportunity to categorically state that there is NO hantavirus aboard the USS Magnum Dong. Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than we are prepared to admit, but all new passengers are warned that if they wake up in the morning and find rodents bite marks at all anywhere on their bodies, they're to tell me immediately so that I can immediately take every measure to hush the whole thing up.

stalker-among-the-stars

beardedmrbean

rainyday-recess

onion-souls

Did they ever do a thing explicitly connecting Mary Marvel to Wonder Woman’s mother, because it would be great if Hyppolyta wasn’t even aware of Shazam’s deal with Mary Marvel and was getting inexplicably drained of power every once in a while.

The Amazons don’t intervene in world affairs because every time there’s an emergency the queen is on the ground, convulsing and foaming at the mouth

mr-deep-downer

meanwhile on Twitter

you could make the argument that it’s foolish that everyone in the world should know what the Odyssey is but if you’re from a western country that literally has Greek history stolen away in your museum then well, really a child left behind.

mr-deep-downer

Greek Architectural Treasures in the British Museum

“The world doesn’t revolve around America” the illiad was actually a pseudo historical/mythological text about the first game of baseball

thedragonitus

Its a metaphor for the drive through

sauteedkapi

I dunno what you guys are talking about, seems pretty American to me.

mr-deep-downer

only 8 dollars and 12 cents huh? What the fuck was Odysseus problem then

thatiswhy

there was road work

star-dragon-in-the-tardis

I desire a version of this story set in America though and just getting completely fucking lost.

mr-deep-downer

1h 47m | PG-13

fullmetalfisting

Tbh germ theory DOES sound crazy. Like if you told a regency-era nobleman that tiny creatures lived on the surface of everything and THAT’S what causes consumption, they’d be like “ah, I see you are a lunatic. Would you reside in my hermitage? Rantings and ravings do so amuse my guests”

mysteryteacup

But if you told a Medieval person this they would probably go "Ah, so when the miasma settles on surfaces it gains evil life. I understand."

alarajrogers

Yeah, actually, it would probably be pretty easy to explain germ theory to a Medieval person as tiny evil spirits that live on everything, but they can be purified by soap and water, or by alcohol, because that is why God has granted us those things. And because they can float in the air, if you cough or sneeze after they have infested you, that can cause them to infest others. And when you are sick, the angels God has deputized to defend the bodies of His beloved children are at war with the evil spirits, and, sadly, sometimes they lose, but the best way to help your angels win their battle is to rest, drink plenty (this would probably be small beer in this time period, not water, because the water was also infested), stay clean, and for the sake of God do not allow anyone to let your blood, for the angels need that blood in their war against the evil spirits. Bloodletting is good for some types of illnesses but not the kinds caused by the tiny evil spirits.

chekhovs-raygun

boiling as a sterilization measure is also easy to explain. water returns to the air when heated and it rises as steam back up to the floodgates of heaven; we know God created the world in seven days, He's not up there making more water every time it rains. it circulates. the returning of water to heaven also purifies the water of unclean and malign influences. you know wormy water from a muddy puddle will kill your kid. you know you wouldn't wade into a bog and have a slurp. water that remains in the low places of earth absorbs all that is unclean from our waste and it may also sponge up new diseases from hell, we're not totally sure about that one, but it seems likely. God set up the heavenly water cycle so that the earth's waters wouldn't totally fill up with gunk.

what does this have to do with boiling your surgical tools? well look, the boiling water releases bubbles of steam which carries the malign influences up to heaven. you boil a knife, you send all the miasmic particles off with the steam to heaven. if you rinse the knife off in a bucket the water isn't hot enough, the particles go into the water and then right back on to the knife. you gotta boil it to get the particles all the way away. how can a tool or rag or a bed have miasmic particles on it when you can't smell them? humans have a lousy sense of smell. look at your dog on the hunt. are there no rabbits in the woods just because you can't smell them? we know that miasma is carried on the air, and is what makes stench so dangerous, and we know that humans can't smell worth a damn compared to dogs cats horses etc. a dog can smell if a rat died in a corner of the room last week. you can't. do you think licking the spot where the rat died is going to go well for you? luckily, what humans lack in snout we make up for in brains. we have extra brains where our sniffers should have been. God set that up for a reason.

and why does a rinse with wine spirits work? man, look how fast alcohol evaporates. my guess is that because wine contains a lot more vice than water, it evaporates a whole lot faster, in sort of an equal and opposite way that a rock falls faster than a feather. if you want the miasmic particles to get off there FAST, you dunk it in something that's going back to heaven at a gallop.

what's up with honey? it just preserves things against corruption. doesn't clean them off. honey doesn't evaporate at all. probably because bees don't sin. it's not good for ridding a tool of particles-- it's sticky-- but fine for preserving anything you don't want to go to heaven OR hell. this is why you wash the wound with wine spirits or purified water FIRST, to sluice the miasma out, then slap the honey on AFTER. and boil the damn bandage, too. you wouldn't put a rotten door in a sound doorframe and expect it to keep out bandits, would you? cmon.

ninja-pyro

I convinced my little brother to start brushing his teeth when he was like 4 or 5 because he hated it and would only get his teeth brushed if someone else forced him to sit down and they did it for him all by telling him about "Monster Germs" that like to live in peoples mouths and eat teeth and thats what cavities were and that they fart a lot and that what bad breath is and that they attract other larger monsters that eat little kids that have a monster germ infestation in their mouth and thats why we al have to brush our teeth he started brushing Morning Noon and Night

tomicscomics

04/17/2026

Rock on, Jesus.

talking-fox-actual-deactivated2

I upset a few people in my intro to western philosophy class with this one.

missouriangothic

furbearingbrick

freelyunder

pyrotechnic-tote-pyro

Had like 5 minutes left of the con and we forgot to do a vid together

maskyaxc

meet the pyro

pyrotechnic-tote-pyro

Some pics from wondercon we got back

Linktree. Make your link do more.

postpunkindustrial

Archive.org unleash a windfall of lost music

Archive.org deliver a windfall of lost music.

If you’re looking for a good way to spend the rest of your week, Archive.org have unearthed a gigantic collection of cassettes from the mid-eighties into the mid-nineties. According to their notes, the collection was saved from the archives of noise-arch.net and donated by former CKLN-FM radio host Myke Dyer in August of 2009. Due to the size and obscurity, the collection hasn’t been properly notated but is said to include cassettes ranging from “tape experimentation, industrial, avant-garde, indie, rock, DIY, subvertainment and auto-hypnotic materials”. Head to Archive now to download the free collection.

gothiccharmschool

I know that some of you will lose your minds over this.

dependell

I am always thinking about every line of dialogue in the first 50 seconds of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace.

shining-supernova

HELLO?

biggerchallenge

Darkplace is a key example of how in order to truly master making art that is "deliberately bad" you need to have a thorough understanding of what the medium considers the rules for "good form" so that you can than break every single rule.

pencilium

puppygirllaika

this show is the prime example of "on a true or false test, 100% and 0% both require you to know all the answers"

lyjaa

finally… the offense team…

Hoo hah all of the mercs are done

next is the beautiful ms Pauling and administrator and also Saxton Hale

pyrotechnic-tote-pyro

Had like 5 minutes left of the con and we forgot to do a vid together

veryberryskye

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.