The Renaissance Rose

Ask me about Hamlet I dare you.

[fellator]

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

[dancing-crystals]

It is so funny to me how most people in Dead Boy Detectives are just “let me tell you about my backstory.”

Edwin repeatedly brings up Hell, like he wants to add “so there, nyah” but he’s too proper. Charles says Edwin has told him loads of stories about his time there too.

Tragic “I was once a mighty walrus” Mick.

Esther tells teenage kids currently foiling her plans that she made a deal with a primordial goddess. Also, the snake thing. She doesn’t question how Crystal learned about Esther’s cheating husband—how well known is that story?

Nico tells someone she just met about her dad dying, dropping out of school, not being able to read her mother’s letters.

Crystal doesn’t even remember her past, but she’ll vent about her asshole ex-boyfriend and getting out of a bad relationship with her landlord she’s known for a day.

She’s using the “treat my trauma like a joke so I don’t have to actually deal” method, but Jenny does bring up her alcoholic father.

Aisha the gift shop owner only has a few minutes of screen time but still manages to mention she does acid and paints primordial goddesses.

The three most secretive people are Monty (and you know he’d be chattering about his actual past instead of his made up one if he could), the Cat King, and Charles.

Which is even funnier, because Cat King and Charles are so alike here! They are both saying “look at me, pay attention to me, no not like that.” And they would absolutely hate having that in common.

[sharkboxes]

[hp-mineccraft]

If I don’t see each and every single one of you reblogging this, I swear to god

[teaboot]

Can I be honest with yall I don't want to hear SHIT against cishets at pride this year

[teaboot]

"But it's not FOR them!!!" The biggest military power in the world belongs to a christofascist nation overseen by a felon found guilty of 34 federal crimes and has greenlit a gestapo with more direct funding than the entire military of Canada for the purpose of ethnic cleansing. Let Hetero Jessica throw some biodegradable glitter at a municipal parade

[eldritch-ace]

GIVE THOSE ACES SKIRTS AND CANES!!!

[pukicho]

Whats wrong, you barely touched your pellets

[mosscaller]

I need a mix of wet and dry food.

[pukicho]

What the fuck. You talk?

[therenaissancerose]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/67612831/chapters/227626871

Chapter five and some new faces appear!

Enjoy!

[blanketforcas]

hello yes we are recruiting new spn fans. for the destiel division, correct. ideally we're looking for people who can't get over anything and are always haunted by images and events

[yuzensoniktornavida]

You guys want Taylor Swift

[blanketforcas]

checked the fine print again to make sure but we did in fact ban her from applying we're terribly sorry

[therenaissancerose]

I fear hamlet is also a good candidate

[musiicpix3l]

Yes yes i know love is love. But they are still killing CHILDREN. over this.

[eyelessfog]

a character who truly, legitimately goes “but why does that matter?” about their feelings when someone who cares about them asks. and the sudden falling of everyone around them’s faces as they realize that this person doesn’t recognize themself as someone who needs or should be taken care of. i want Everyone to hurt. surprise at the idea, worry for them, horror at not having noticed. do you see this person who doesn’t think of themselves as a person?

[felikatze]

URGH. Emmerich Holyblade and I just went to The Ceremony to receive our RPG Job Titles, and he OBVIOUSLY got Chosen Hero Sword Saint. So now he's gonna set out to kill the Demon Lord of Darkness.

Me? I just got Dark Mage. Honestly, it's pretty rare, but the job opportunities are also limited. You either get into covert assassination or dungeon raiding.

God, just because we're the only two kids in The Village, Emmerich Holyblade automatically assumes this makes us friends. He doesn't even realize I hate him and his stupid smug swordsman ass.

URGGHHHH he just asked me to join his Grand Hero's Party. fuck. I can't just say no if the Grand Holy King himself is gonna payroll us to do this shit. Whatever man. Let's rock till the Demon Lord of Darkness is dead, and then I can retire and never see Emmerich Holyblade again.

[felikatze]

Help me. I've been trying to quit the Grand Hero's Party but Emmerich keeps introducing me as his childhood friend to all the new fucking party members. I hate them all.

The tank Ferron Shieldson gives me bro fists hard enough to bruise. Sister Savantha Healier has tripped over her habit ten times in the past hour.

Elfdame Woodsworth the beautiful elf archer huntress keeps dragging deer carcasses to camp. I'm so tired of venison.

[felikatze]

I've been trying to have the Grand Hero's Party kick me out, but instead of undervaluing my Super Secret Invisible Debuff Technique (which looks like I'm just standing there) Emmerich Holyblade figured out it stacks with his Five Phoenix Absolution to hit the damage cap.

Outside of combat, I've done a lot of very invisible low-tier work nobody really needs, such as managing all of our finances and inventory, yet they keep fucking including me and praising my efforts when they're having a drink at the tavern.

Emmerich Holyblade spilled some beer on my shadowy cloak when he slung an arm around my shoulder. His breath stinks.

[felikatze]

I'm so tired of camping, honestly. Random Farmers and Shit keep inviting us to stay with them for the night, but their beds suck and I hate the food.

Our reputation really soared when we stopped one of the Four Demonic Kings of the East North South and West from destroying Capital City of the Holy Church Kingdom Nation.

Emmerich Holyblade insists my 70% Paralysis Debuff clutched the entire encounter despite dealing the Super Cool Omega Finisher, so everyone's asking me for autographs.

Shouldn't he know I hate social interaction if he claims to be my "childhood friend"?? LEAVE ME ALONE.

At least Princess Dowed Verily only has eyes for Emmerich Holyblade and his stupidly sculpted biceps. Weird he insists on ignoring her advances, though. Dude, you could be King. What the hell.

[felikatze]

Emmerich Holyblade truly is the worst. Princess Dowed Verily tried to have me exiled before the whole court, saying I'm just a leech on the Grand Hero's Party besmirching my "childhood friend"'s good name and status, but Emmerich Holyblade fucking defended me!!!

He said I'm invaluable to this party both as part of our battle plans, our day-to-day tasks, and as his "dearest companion". GROSS!!!

Doesn't he realize this was the PERFECT chance for me to disappear to another country???

Why did I think this Demon Lord of Darkness-slaying shit was a good idea in the first place?? Surely Emmerich Holyblade's boundless enthusiasm to be a do-gooder can't be an infectious disease??

[felikatze]

Another day, another trial. We journeyed to the Yggdrasil Holy Nature Origin Forest because it's said the Elves of the Yggrasil Holy Nature Origin Worldtree have the sacred sword Swordexcaliburn, the only weapon capable of permanently killing the Demon Lord of Darkness for good.

Except Elfsdame Woodsworth might be the Holy Nature Origin Princess, or something. I wasn't really paying attention to her dramatic backstory.

After we killed the Holy Nature Origin King (who was really one of the Four Demonic Kings of the East North South and West in disguise), Elfsdame Woodsworth the beautiful elf archer huntress just kinda gave us the sword.

It's sunset right now, and I climbed a tree to just overlook the forest in peace, ALONE, except Emmerich Holyblade "knew I'd do something like this", so now he's HERE. HE ALWAYS DOES THIS!!!!

Blergh. Now we're watching the sun set over the whole Holy Kingdom Church Nation. It's pretty, but that dumbass Emmerich Holyblade isn't even looking at it. Idiot.

At least he's being quiet.

[felikatze]

By the way, we beat up the other two Four Demonic Kings of the East North South and West, because we don't really have the time to show all this onscreen, you know? Nobody really cares about them anyways.

We've reached the Demon Lord of Darkness's Dark Demonic Castle Keep now, and we're striking tomorrow.

It's my last chance to quit if I don't want to beef it tomorrow (I do not trust Ferron Shieldson to shield me), but Emmerich Holyblade said he can't do it without me. HE, singular?? So everybody else can do it without me??

And to make matters worse, he said he'd tell me something after we beat the Demon Lord of Darkness. Why the hell tell me you're gonna tell me something??? Just tell me in the first place so I can ditch.

And besides, as if anyone could actually kill the goddamn Chosen Hero Sword Saint. At the very least, he's gonna survive tomorrow. Doesn't he realize how stupidly contrived his powerset is?? Dude, as IF.

I told him that, and he ran off. I'm never going to understand him.

One more day, and I'm leaving forever. Grand Holy King better pay up good, or I'm covert assassinating his ass.

[felikatze]

Inside the Dark Demon Castle Keep, we had to fight through so many waves of enemies, like Sister Savantha Healier's Evil Twin, who worships the Demon Lord of Darkness instead of the Goddess of Good Stuff.

But mainly I was just standing in the back. Debuffing is a crazy magic drain, so I did get super tired, but the most exciting thing I was involved with was when Sister Savantha Healier's Evil Twin threw her weapon at me in a last ditch attempt to take at least one of us down, but Emmerich Holyblade intercepted it. With his body.

Sister Savantha Healier just healed him after, though, so it's fine. I might've been mincemeat had that hit my squishy self. I'm a proud backliner, okay. But it was still pretty stupid and unnecessary, considering we have Phoenix Blessing Revival Potion Stones.

Demon Lord of Darkness up ahead... Just one more boss and we're doooooone.

[felikatze]

Anyways, the Demon Lord of Darkness wasn't even that cool. The orchestra was great though. I gotta see if the piano player survived the Dark Demon Castle Keep's collapse.

Everybody weakened the Demon Lord of Darkness with their own strikes, so Emmerich Holyblade could finish him off properly with the holy sword Swordexcaliburn.

Before he did, he looked at me with these fucking... star-filled eyes and bright smile, which made everybody else also look at me, which made the Demon Lord of Darkness laugh, so I just nodded at Emmerich Holyblade to go kill the fucking Demon Lord of Darkness already.

God, that took so long. I'm taking a vacation. I'm disappearing into a forest without any elves in it and never talking to another person ever again.

At least now I get to know whatever Emmerich Holyblade wants to tell me. It better be good, because it's the last thing he'll ever tell me.

[felikatze]

He, uh. He. Well he. Uh. Hm. Well. How do I put this. Well. Hm. Uhhhhhhhhhh.

E-Emmerich Holyblade, well, he.

Much to. To think about. yeah.

[felikatze]

I said yes.

[curejune]

[felikatze]

JUNE. JUNE WHEN I GET YOU!!!! aurgh i love these. thank you so much. how did you know i kept imagining emmerich as blonde. AND THE PIANO PLAYER IN THE BACK RHRGH

[midnights-dragon]

In case anyone is having a bad night

(The best of this post and its reblogs, but with links that work)

Here is a website where you can scroll down to all the different levels of the ocean 

Here is a website where you can see the future of the universe

Here is a website where you can press a ‘make everything okay’ button, over and over, until things really are okay

Here is a website that you can read if you feel like a burden

Here is a website where you can look at strobe illusions (TW strobe/flashing)

Here is a website where you can cut stuff up (TW blood/sh)

Here and here are websites where you can play with sand

Here is a website where you can draw with macaroni and other fun foods

Here is a website where you can paint someone’s nails

Here is a website where you can grow a garden with emojis

Here is a website with hundreds of videos of people hugging you (rightfully dubbed ‘the nicest place on the internet’ because it really is, y’all, it made me cry)

Here is a website that will take you to other useless websites

Here is a website where you can make a tiny cat play bongo drums (and other instruments!)

Here is a website to help give you gentle reminders <3

Here is a website where you can grow a tiny farm

Here is a website where you can take a bunch of scientific personality tests

Here is a website of calm rain noise

Take a breath. It’s going to be okay, I promise.

[dragongirlsweetie]

ok i am curious. how long is the longest song in your library (not counting tracks that are like several songs in one file like a full album mix or symphony recording or whatever) (also if it is longer than 20 minutes say the name in the tags i am curious)

how long

< 3:00

3:00–3:59

4:00–4:59

5:00–5:59

6:00–6:59

7:00–7:59

8:00–11:59

12:00–15:59

16:00–20:59

21:00–24:59

25:00–30:00

≥ 30:00

Voting ended onJun 1

[dragongirlsweetie]

ok i would like to clarify it has to be music and it can't just be a short song that's been looped a bunch. that still counts as several songs in one file, it's just several of the same song in one file. no audiobooks no podcasts no plants vs zombies theme 2 hour loop

[therenaissancerose]

I think the world needs to know that my hottest take and my hill to die on is that Snape is a Trans woman

Estrogen would have fixed her.

Furthermore I think her name is Selena.

[francesderwent]

I’ve been thinking a LOT lately about what a weird and stressful experience it is to care a lot about a story when you don’t trust the storyteller.

[contact-guy]

sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis

[skipppppy]

Hercule Poirot deduces you are trans by accident because he suspected you of murder and broke into your house and searched your stuff then puts 2 and 2 together when Hastings makes an innocuous observation about your fashion sense or something and he jumps up and cries “mon dieu!!!” before striding over to you kissing you on both cheeks and saying “ah, cher ami, you must live as you choose!” and then running off to confront the real culprit while you stand there in befuddlement

[ospreyonthemoon]

Columbo deduces you're trans from context clues while he's talking to you about the area, immediately uses your preferred pronouns and starts telling you about his cousin, who's also transgender, and how they got this job doing security, and how they told him that a security guard always locks up, and asks you if the guard locked up last night, and isn't it weird the place was open? And you're like, well, someone else must have opened it up. Maybe the guy in charge? He has a spare key. And then he nods and goes "the guy in charge has a spare key... well, how about that?" And then he offers you a cigar and wanders off, and a day later your boss gets arrested for murder.

[deathsmallcaps]

Fanon Batman deduces you are trans and suddenly a free hormone clinic opens up by your home a couple months later

[answeringmysister]

Miss Fisher learns youre trans and simply gives you hormones, and a little cocaine as a treat. she also invites you out to a club to meet like minded individuals. at the club you watch as she seduces the bartender and then the next day the bartender is arrested for the murder.

[viridianchronicle]

[resisteverything]

BBC sherlock deduces you’re trans based on the shape of your skull and the tone of your voice and that you’re tall, and he gets that right not because any of that makes sense but because he’s sherlock and whatever conclusion he comes to about the evidence he gets will magically be the right one because he’s so cool and perfect and better than everyone else.

[resisteverything]

And THEN he calls you a slur.

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image IDs: Image #1: Tumblr reblog from devorakian-guilt reading: benoit blanc figures out you're trans because he's a gay southern man. he knows.

Image #2: Tumblr tags from divertTime reading: #House puts you down for an orchi before you even realize you're trans

image #3: Tumblr tags from jethroq reading: #BBC sherlock calls you a slur /End IDs]

[therenaissancerose]

!!VENT POST!!

Hey so hypothetically what happens when your anxiety is not all in your head but rather based on nearly two decades of people confirming every bad thought you’ve ever had about yourself.

What then?

Hello??