[morbidbonespls]

Saw mother Ethel in the carpet at church

@tankhall

[tankhall]

need double of whatever cocktail they’ve got u on

[lliveonthesunn]

i get why people don't believe in marriage as a social construct but legally it is the best and easiest way to say "this is who i trust to take care of me when i can't take care of myself" and i'm so glad gay people fought for that right bc when shit gets scary at least i know im in good hands

[thedankmemes]

[inbabylontheywept]

I am a 27 year old electrical engineer who works in a little secret lab in the middle of buttfuck Egypt. For one two month period, the office supply order changed from normal erasers to these, and I will not lie - every time I thought I was alone, I would sneak one out of my desk and eat it. They looked delicious. Tasted mid, but the appearance was so stunning that my brain just kept thinking, surely, the rest were a fluke, but THIS TIME it will taste like fruit and sugar.

Anyway, eventually the order stopped, and I was very worried that somehow, they’d found out that I was eating their erasers. So I kind of casually brought it up to my manager that I was sad that they swapped the erasers out, and he was like “yeah, but I kept eating them so they couldn’t stay.”

[tiffycat]

It just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on ₐⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒⁿ

[dragongirlsweetie]

hour 1 of shift: i love helping people and making people happy yay yay yay later today i am gonna go home and have fun and eat a tasty meal and work on my projects and

hour 6: if youu go to the store and buy groceriers you are a piece of shit

hour 8: if i wad 1 apples tall i could live off of one apple for a week... oh but it would rot away... no.... i hate the rot i hate the apple

[iamoutofideas]

guy who listens to tool: hey man you ever listened to tool?

guy who lives near a construction site:

[shellshooked]

the flow of time is always cruel

[tankhall]

can’t even begin to explain what the ocarina of time remake means to me. experiencing the title screen in a new way for the first time since i was 6 years old is going to change my life. i can’t wait wait to hear the new score ;-;

[churrotowns]

since it’s pride month, throwback to this beautiful cover and this wholesome interaction between two icons

[sodiumvaporss]

i do have to say that no matter how shitty any sort of media is or how shitty your own creations are. always remember

[kingartsybanana]

If Backrooms was a children’s book

[novembermorgon]

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[poupon]

Wow thanks for the ingot man let me just inspect the quality real quick

Dude come on

[loveridden1999]

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

[kneatle]

I got the game and now I get to feed my miis cigarettes too. >:)

[shutyourmoustache]

“No, your grandma didn’t speak in tongues, but she did sob. You called her a dipshit.”