RESTLESS @therestlesschildren-blog - Tumblr Blog

hi blog!

Francis figured out the password ! He’s a genius!

but if he ever forgets it’s restless2024 :)

hey guys hahaha

I miss you guys.

LABO.

My life, basically.

There are around 7.168 billion people on earth and yet, for some reason, I feel so alone. I just feel so sad and so empty all the time.

Maybe it's my fault I feel this way but feelings are feelings right?

Drift. So many thoughts come into my mind when I think of this word The most vivid of them all is your face. I can't seem to disassociate the word with your face I wonder why you let this happen to our friendship; why you judged me for certain opinions I had, why you chose to keep so many secrets from me, why you chose others over me when I was there for you through everything. the list goes on and on and on I genuinely loved you I actually treasured the bond we had I would have taken a bullet for you but it's obvious you wouldn't have done the same for me And all I wanna know is, WHY? I've honestly never felt so taken for granted and used in my life up until a few months ago when you changed You're somebody else to me now- you're not the same girl I used to know and love You're an acquaintance, no, merely a stranger who will continue to stay that way despite seeing each other everyday We've drifted, and I'n starting to fully come to terms with it now. Time to move on Thanks for the memories, I guess

Hi it's 12:07 John mayer's song 3x5 got me thinking about how cool it would be if your life was recorded and you could edit it later in life with feel good music playing in the background of the video and be like wow this was so cool like the really fun nights with your friends doing crazy shit and also clips of you just doing weird stuff alone like singing in the shower or in front of a mirror or your first time on a roller coaster and prom night and graduation day and your wedding day and your wife giving birth (idk optional) or maybe vacations and seeing your own face when you have split-second realizations about how life really is good and maybe the whole video could end with you being born or something or the night of your conception lol ahaahahha awks but yeah that would be really cool

I don't even pray anymore I don't even try

The future scares me. Everything about it. College, jobs, life, everything. There are times where I feel like I won't be able to succeed; to excel. I just want to take everything one step at a time. I want to enjoy the moment and live. But how can I when my best is not, if not just, enough? These days, I don't feel like I'm securing my very own future for myself anymore.

I am really sorry. Even if I was in a bad mood, I had no reason to say what I did. I hate myself for saying what I said, and the person has every right to be pissed at me, but I never meant to harm; I am seriously sorry.

There are days I feel like I don't belong. Like, I'm surrounded by a million amazing people, and here I am, sticking out like a thorn. They've got so much great qualities, and I struggle to find one of my own.

I wish life was easier; better.

Life sucks.

Everything sucks.

There is so much to let go.

How do you forgive someone who's not even sorry in the first place? Im not sure if I'm ready to forgive this person now and I'm afraid I probably never will. Why do I not feel guilty for feeling this way?

Soooo

Ugh I hate school I hate having nothing to look forward to I hate worrying about stupid tests that I really do not give an f about I hate incompetent people I hate being nice to people who are so incredibly rude I hate worrying about college and results and shiz because seriously I lose sleep just thinking about this I hate thinking about the future I hate knowing that in just a few months time everything is going to be different and I'm going to have to let go of things I've become accustomed to I hate being completely wrong about people There are really many more things I hate at the moment tbh senior year cannot get any worse (it's the dullest thing EVER) Gahh there are just so many things right now that annoy the frick out of me.. But at the same time, despite all these annoying people and annoying tests and annoying teachers etc etc etc, there are just so many things to be blessed about. Like really, SO MANY. I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve such great things and great people in my life Anyways that was just one of the things I've been thinking about lately hahahaha I should do math hw now..... PS hope life is treating all u wonderful people well :) I miss you all can u guess who I am oOoOhhhhhhhh

Blank Slate

October 16, 2013

It's been a while since I posted here. My first semester in college was stressful and I couldn't post as much as I would have wanted to because I was still adjusting and I didn't know how to balance all the things that needed to be done. Hopefully the upcoming semester helps me to better adjust to the stress of college life. I'm on sembreak now though so yay! Now that it's my sembreak, I've had the time to catch up on some of my favorite shows! I recently started watching season 9 of How I Met Your Mother. For those who DO watch and haven't gotten to season 9, stop reading NOW if you don't want me to spoil it for you hehehe and for those who DON'T watch, there's this guy named Barney who's about to get married to a girl named Robin but there's this other guy named Ted who has been in love with her since season 1 and isn't sure if his feelings for her have completely gone away so he decides he needs to move to Chicago. Before he moves though, he writes down a list of things he wants to do for the last time. Anyway, here's something Lily said to Ted that I want to share:

“You wrote down all these things to say goodbye to, but so many of them are good things. Why not just say goodbye to the bad things? Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost, to all the times it was a ‘no’ instead of a ‘yes,’ to all the scrapes and bruises, to all the heartache. Say goodbye to everything you really want to do for the last time, but don’t go have the last Scotch with Barney — have the first Scotch toasting Barney’s new life because that’s a good thing, and the good things will always be here waiting for you.”

In college, there are certain things that I thought I had to say goodbye to in high school. I thought I had to say goodbye to these things because they wouldn’t be there in college. I felt like I had to partially say goodbye to my old friends if I ever wanted to make some in college because if I didn't, I would just be comparing the two. I kinda set myself up to believe that I would never find friends like my highschool friends. I thought I had to say goodbye to visiting Woodrose. I thought I had to say goodbye to the teachers who I got close to and would make "kwento" because I wouldn’t be able to do the same with my professors but the things that I was saying goodbye to were good things. I didn't need to say goodbye to the good things because just like what Lily said to Ted, the good things would be waiting for me. To those who are going to start their college life next year or in a few years, say goodbye to all the things you want to do for the last time in high school like being dependent on people, giving up so easily, etc. The best part about college is that it's a blank slate so you can be anyone you want to be and always know that good things will always be waiting for you no matter where you go :) Oh and to those who just finished their first semester in college, congrats to us :)

Wait

You do a good deed, but you can't expect to always receive some sort of reward.

You try to impress people by excessively giving and showing off, but you can't expect them to like you for who you are.

You put a lot of thought and effort into a project, but you can't expect for it to always come out the way you wanted it to.

You study hard for all your tests, but you can't expect to always pass every one of them.

Like all the others, you can pray and ask God for help with your problems in life/school/friends/family/whatever else, but you can't expect that he'll immediately answer your prayers.

Don't mind the weight you carry. All you have to do is wait.

-Jeremiah 29:11-

would you believe me if i told you i hear voices in my head at night

they pull me down to rest in almost every negative idea possible

they tell me i'm judged and will continue to be

they record all wrongs and parade them over and over

the worst part is, they aren't just voices

but they're the real feelings and real people that surround me

hope this cheers you up! :)

have a nice day!

#swagalish #black nail polish

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