To any child scrolling through these tags thinking āgod I wish I had an eating disorderā, āI wish I could be anorexicā, etc, I want you to know itās not worth it.
In these posts you only see the sides of an ED that seem desirable (prominent collar bones, a thigh gap, reasons to keep pushing), but never the parts that would disgust and frighten you (inability to control your bodily functions, gaining and losing the same five pounds for years on end, pushing all of your friends and eventually yourself away).
Sometimes it seems attractive to be that āperfect broken personā. The one people look at and think āwoah sheās so smallā or āshe needs help.ā Sometimes you may feel like this is the way to show people that you are hurting. To give yourself worth.
But, sweetie, this isnāt it. It never will be. Itās not what people will tell you it is. Most of us will never be that āperfect broken person.ā Weāre not mysterious or tragically beautiful, weāre just hollow, wishing that we could go back to how things were before.
Wishing you have an eating disorder can be a sign you already have one. Please, talk to a therapist, a friend, a parent, anyone. Find someone that can tell you that an eating disorder cannot make things better. And listen.
I know that you are here because you are hurting. So, darling, let me tell you. I see you. Iām so sorry that you are going through this. You are so beautiful. You are amazing. You are deserving of life. Of food. Of happiness. Of everything you have tried to tell yourself you arenāt.
I know I canāt fix you. But, you can. You are so strong. You donāt have to let yourself go down this path only to look back years later and wished youād turned away. Please leave these tags, go find anyone who can help you, and live. Just live. Please.
You deserve it.š
