Watch me as I reach for my moon @theshortestwriter - Tumblr Blog

Excuse me, but I am tired of your excuses

Excuse, we all have them and we all let them get in the way of going out and doing things. We see different people on our different social media feeds going out and doing things, we think “oh I want to do that,” but then continue to keep scrolling. Never making a plan to actually go and do it.

Starting this year, that no longer is going to be me. I went classy camping for the first time in my life. (Disclaimer: no I did not in fact have the kahunas to go real camping in below freezing temperatures.) I’ve always wanted to do it, but it finally took me 25 years to do it.

This isn’t one of those “New Year, New Me” posts, if you know me you know particularly how I feel sbout that. As I’m writing this I’m 85% sure there’s even a post about how I feel about that phrase below. Not this is my goal for this year: to get off my ass and do. Some who read this may think my babblings are ridiculous and some may think that like any other millennial, I am not going to follow through on my words. However, one of the millennial mantrasis “pic or it didn’t happen,” remember that as you’re scrolling through my feed seeing the different photos of me doing the things on my list. Then we will see who is the ridiculous one.

I know that my list will be ever growing and that I won’t be able to get everything I want to get done in a year, because I do have to adult. However, I’m going to start and at least try to do the things on my list. I encourage you to make your own list, I even give you permission to steal mine. Hell if you want to join me on these adventures just let me know and we will get something on our calendars. If you have any ideas of things that you think I might like to try, just let me know!

1. Go sky diving

2. Go zip lining

3. Go ice skating

4. Do a Painting with a Twist Night

5. Do a Savage Race-signed up for the one in March!

6. Go to Six Flags

7. Go to the Geranium Festival

8. Go apple picking

9. Go to a sunflower field

10. Go to a pumpkin patch

11. Go to a corn maze

12. Go to a GA Oktoberfest

13. Go do a Savannah Ghost Tour

14. Go tubing

15. Go to at least one concert

16. Go to the Cherry Blossum Festival

“Someday, isn’t a day of the week”-Someone Wise

Another Year Come and Gone

Another year of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day has passed. And this year I have more of a reason to be thankful than years passed.

This year I was able to celebrated that I now have two mom’s and I have two dads. Yup, if you’re close to me or if you have just been paying attention to my social media then you know that both my mom and my dad both got remarried to some amazing people.

If you’re getting to know me and the subject of my parents comes up, I immediately say that they are divorced and before the look of pity comes across, i follow up with saying that it’s way better for everyone that they are.

The fact of the matter is, it’s true. For all parties involved, it is better that my parents are divorced. They may be mad at me for saying it, but their marriage wasn’t perfect. They both changed. And they both realized that they were better a part than they were together.

Now that being said, I love my mom and my dad. I also love my step dad and my step mom. My relationship with each of them is different, unique and strong in their own way...just like the people who I call my parents.

Yes, I call my step mom Madre and yes, I call my step dad Vader. And no, I do not mean it as a way of disrespect towards my mom and my dad. Tell me I’m wrong for calling my step parents my own special version of “mom” and “dad.” I really don’t care. Because fact of the matter is that they are my own special version of my “mom” and “dad.”

My Madre welcomed me into her home, family and heart with open eyes and the greatest hug ever. She has taken me as one of her own daughters. She has taught me numerous lessons and she has only been a part of my life for a little over a year. She pushes me and my dad to better our relationship. She opens my eyes to things I was unaware of and I could not be more grateful for all that she has done for me.

My Vader became my Vader at the most perfect time. He was the father that I needed at that point in my life. He took me under his wing and welcomed me into his home and nerdy heart with open arms. He’s taught me things that I never knew I needed to know, asked me a million questions when I was transitioning careers and even went and bought me pepper spray for my own protection. He’s opened my eyes to the world around me and has allowed me to adult without completely falling on my butt.

My mom, she knows what she means to me. She is in fact irreplaceable. And not that my madre would ever replace her, it’s nice that when one mom doesn’t answer their phone that I have another to call in times of distress. Because I mean let’s be honest...mom’s expect us to answer our phones on the first ring of the first phone call, but is always too busy to answer when we call her and need her. I mean am I right, or am I right?

And my dad, our relationship has never been perfect. There have been faults on both sides and we will both admit that we were both wrong. The fact is that no matter what, my daddy never gave up on me. He’s still got some learning to do and I still have some healing to do, but he hasn’t once given up on me. He’s given me my space, allowed me to grow, allowed me to say my pieces of my mind. But not once has he given up on me. And for that I am dearly grateful.

At this point, you’re probably wondering why all this random babbling is going on about my family because you could probably care less. And you’re right, I have been babbling. But I do have a point.

I want you to look at your mom and dad and if you have a step mom and/or step dad, look at them too. If you have any animosity towards these people, I want you to stop for just one second and be thankful for the fact that they are there. No they may not be perfect, yes they have probably screwed up in your eyes, no they may not even be a part of your life, yes they may be annoying you beyond belief. However, at the end of the day every decision, every action, every thing they have ever done for you has been out of love. Whether you accepted it or not. Just tell them that you’re thankful that they are there. Tell them that you love them.

Take it from someone who wasted years on being angry at a parent, it’s not worth the energy or the time. Mother’s Day and Father’s day has passed for this year, but the beautiful thing is that they come back around next year. Don’t pass up the opportunity to celebrate with your mom, your Madre, your dad and your Vader.

Because as the Beatles once sang...”all you need is love.”

To Whom It May Concern.

I sometimes have to remind myself daily. That there is no rush to start the rest of your life with someone.

My two best friends have found their person and I don’t even know where to start to describe how happy I am for them. However, minutes after posting how excited I am for my Little Duck’s engagement the question of when it was going to be my turn came.

I ignored the question then, however I just caught up on Grey’s Anatomy and last week’s episode brought me the clarification that I needed to answer it. So please see below.

To Whom It May Concern,

I am single. It’s something I am fully aware of. Yes, I do realize almost everyone I truly care about is getting married or having kids. Literally almost everyone around me. My mom is getting remarried. My dad got remarried. (PSA: I love both of my step parents as if they have been around since day one.) My twisted sister got married in November. My little duck got engaged on the 20th. Girls I played soccer with are getting married. My boss is having her first child. Literally almost everyone. You do not have to remind me of it.

I am not bitter towards any of those who have found happiness with the person that they are supposed to spend the rest of their life with. Why would I be? I’m not a selfish person. I am truly and genuinely happy for them and ecstatic for them. So please stop asking me when it is my turn.

Truth of the matter is, I don’t know when it is my turn. I don’t know when the gentleman who I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with is coming into the picture. Hell, he could be in the picture right now and I wouldn’t even know. However, there is no rush for him to find me or me to find him.

I’ve spent the time I’ve been single learning about myself. Learning to love myself. Taking care of myself. Investing in myself. Investing in those I care about. And so on. I’ve come to realize something though. Although I believe I can be hard to love, I am worth it.

I am worth the real deal. The growing old together. The never giving up on each other no matter how bad it may get kind of love. The love where he is my best friend and lover all tied into one. The type of love that we see when we see an old couple blowing their straw wrappers off the straw at each other.

There are days that I get lonely. I would be lying if I said I didn’t. Scrolling through social media waiting for the day that I am someone’s #wcw or someone’s so thankful for me to be with them and so on. Crawling into bed after one of those day’s or week’s where you just need to be held and realizing there isn’t someone there to hold you.

I could go out on dates. Lord knows I have been asked and even gone on a few, but it didn’t work out. I didn’t feel a connection or it just didn't work out. And yes I do realize that I may not feel the connection right away, but I do know when I’m interested and I know when I’m not. I don’t like wasting my time, I especially don’t like wasting my love.

My time will come. It will happen when it is supposed to happen, no matter how cliche that sounds. However, why would I want to be ordinary with someone when I deserve to be extraordinary with someone. (Meredith and Derrick for the win).

So while I appreciate your concern, there are other matters that need attention.

Will we keep it going?

Wednesday was International Women’s Day. It was heart warming to see all of the encouraging posts from men and women alike. However, is that it?

Now that the excitement of that day is over, will we continue to let things be as they were? Or will we make an example of Wednesday and turn it into an every day habit?

Will we continue to empower one another? Support one another? Help each other? Fight for each other? Defend each other? And love each other?

I am blessed to have been raised by an astoundingly strong and selfless woman. My step mother, though she has only been in my life a short while, has already become an important part of my life as she is fearlessly herself. My sisters, we stand up for another and ourselves and I couldn’t be more grateful for their unwavering support. My two best friends, although they’re far, there is no doubt that they are my constant pillars of love and strength. I can go on and on listing every woman in my life who has become an example to me, but that’s what we should do.

Empowered women empower women, so enough. Enough of the disrespect and disdain for one another. Enough of the body and slut shaming, hell enough with the shame all together. We shouldn’t be pulling out stepping stones out from under another. We should be helping nail down those steps so others can join us in our fight.

I encourage everyone, male and female, feminist or not, to stop talking for five minutes and reflect on those women in your life. They are the reason why you should empower women as a whole. Would the women in our lives be proud of how we have been treating one another?

“We’re never, ever, ever going to be able to fly as high unless we’re both in support of each other.”-Emma Watson

Public Service Announcement

Before we begin today's post, I first want to apologize for the following: this post will more than likely contain profanity. It is my opinion and my opinion alone and is not directed towards any individual specifically, it is directed to society as a whole. If you feel this post is directed towards you, please read the sentence before this one. I'm a strong enough woman to say something to your face if need be. Ronda Rousey has a saying that strikes home with me. She once said, "There's not a single muscle on my body that isn't for a purpose, because I'm not a do nothing bitch." Based off that quote she has dubbed the saying "don't be a do nothing bitch." It simple, to the point and eye opening. Today is Presidents Day (in case you were living under a rock and weren't aware). One of my coworker's has dubbed it a holiday to drink heavily because of our current president. Didn't want Trump to be in office? Well what did you do besides rant on Facebook and vote? Not everyone can go out on the streets and protest, people have day jobs I get it. However you could have turned your rant into a well written letter to your state representative. You could have started a petition. You could of done a lot of things than sit on your ass and cause unnecessary arguments and frustration because our society isn't mature enough to accept the opinions of others and walk away from each other agreeing to disagree. I'm not saying he's the perfect president, but his slogan rang home. "Let's make America great again." So let's do just that. We are a young, learning country that was created for the people by the people. We are the people. You, me, your neighbors, your family and your friends. So come on people, put your big girl panties on and let's get to work. Let's make America great again. Want to get your body to a certain point for summer? Well what are you doing besides staring at the gym membership you bought and pinning healthy recipes on Pinterest? I'm sorry and I say this with all the love in the world, but get off your ass and do something about it. Go to the gym, go for a walk, go hiking with friends, please do something rather than complain about your size and then compare yourself to me. (And yes strangers have compared themselves to my face while I'm walking around Target, in fact it happened today). I have worked hard for my body, I am still working hard for my body. Just because we are two different body shapes and two different sizes doesn't mean that I'm not in the same struggle as you are. I could go on and on with different topics, however to spare you all of the long windedness I'll stop now. At the end of the day, it is my opinion that if you're going to complain about it you sure as hell better be doing something about it. With all the love, don't be a do nothing bitch.

Blue Blanket

And it wrapped me up in a blanket of blue pulling me into the abyss of nothing.

To my loved ones, I’m apologizing for this post now.

It comes once in a blue moon, this episode. I don’t know exactly what triggers it, however I won’t be myself.

Normally, I can keep the weight of my world balanced on my shoulders. the pressure, the stress, the expectations and the doubts. Then there comes this wave that cause everything to tumble down. It is then that I go numb and become vacant.

It’s as if I have no will power left to balance. That I can't pick myself up. My fears and doubts suffocating me. The urge to sink below the surface and just disappear just wraps itself around my shoulders.

And as much as I tell myself that the fear that I will end up alone, the fear that I will end up settling, the fear that I will never amount to anything, the fear that I won’t continue to make my family proud, the fear that my life is all just a dream and I will lose everything isn’t true, I still can’t convince myself of that during this episode. No one can tell me otherwise. I become so numb that I consider everything just to feel something.

I don’t know what to call it, but I’ve always told myself that I wanted to write about the things that no one else will write about.

There you have it, my mask is off. Is yours?

“Overthinking kills happiness. Insecurities kill self-esteem. Lies kill trust.”

“Dishonor on your whole family, Dishonor on you and...

Dishonor on your cow.” -Mushu

Today is the national day to give up your resolutions. We are so good at keeping our word that we are going to do something that we made a day just for going back on our word.

Did you know that it takes 21 days to make a habit? 21 days. We are only 17 days into the new year and you’re already going to give up. Let’s do the math though, if it takes little Timmy 21 days to make a habit and he’s only on day 17 and wants to give up, how many days is he away from keeping his word? The answer? 4, little Timmy is 4 days away from making his resolution a habit.

And maybe you didn’t make any resolutions and in the long run you think they’re stupid. I personally didn’t make any resolutions, but I made myself a promise. My promise is that this year I’m going to strive to be better. I’m going to strive to be a better person, a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter, a better Christian, just a better version of myself. And with 17 days in, I’ve already had at least 5 lazy moments or better known as “I’ll just do it tomorrow.”

It’s easy to say that when I’m sore from a workout to the point where it literally hurts to sit or when I’m too tired to do my devotional, but I’m awake enough to watch a Netflix episode. It’s all about priorities and mine are not in order.

I can’t speak for you because my struggles are not the same as yours. However the only way we are going to get through this roller coaster ride we call life is by supporting each other. Picking each other up when we are down, offering necessary encouragement to get through the day and for us to push through a workout.

I can’t sit here and promise you that it’s going to be a walk in the park. I can’t sit here and tell you that you’re not going to doubt everything about yourself with every fiber of your being, I can’t promise you that you won’t run back to things that are easy, simple and lazy.

What I can promise you is that If you need a word of encouragement, a shoulder to cry on, someone to give you a Major Payne speech to get you through your workout, I am here. Because I honestly think that we can’t get through this life without the support of one another.

As my Mama always told me, “try your hardest, do your best, head in the game and have fun.”

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe...

Catch a tiger by the toe.

If he hollers, let him go.

My mama told me to pick the very best one and you are it.

That’s right, you. You are the best one and you will be chosen.

This weekend a new year begins. It is at this time that we all set unreachable, unrealistic and blinded resolutions; my absolute favorite being: “New Year, New Me.” (If only looks good do a Gibb’s slap on all of those who say that).

This world doesn’t need a new you. There are too many other new yous out there trying to survive. And lesbihonest...the resolutions we set are just going to make us feel like failures this time next year because we didn’t keep them to being with even after we swore that this year would be different.

You are loved for exactly who you are. Yes you are. There are people that love you for exactly who you are right now and if you don’t believe me, look around you. (I hope you’re around those who love you for this to actually work). You have surrounded yourself with those who love you, in their own way just as you love them in your way. They aren’t asking for a new you to replace the you that they love. So why should you expect a new you in this new year?

Rather I challenge you to better this version of you. As we have seen this year with the monumental amount of celebrities passing away, life is short. Extremely short. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, heck we aren’t even guaranteed the next minute.

Rather than hating your faults, embrace them. Embrace the cellulite, the double chin, the scars you have, the fact that you can’t grow a beard, the bald spot you have in your beard or on your head just embrace it all, love it all.

I triple dog dare you to.

One of my resolutions is to be better to those who actually read this. I need to do it for me, for the countless times that I told people that I wanted to be a writer and for the fact that I hope that what I write helps at least one person.

With that i leave you with this:

“Self love is the greatest middle finger of all time.”

Mama said...

that there will be days like this.

You know what days I’m talking about. The days where someone can just stick a fork in you because you’re done. And when that happens you falter. You falter in your faith, in your beliefs and in your strength.

You falter because you’re tired. Tired because it’s a constant battle keeping your demons at bay, keeping your head held high when the world is coming down on you and tired of being questioned for why you are the way you are and why you do what you do. Tired of your choices being used as ammo for invalid and unnecessary guilt trips.

You falter because you’ve been strong and on your own for so long that you have a moment of weakness and just want someone else to be your strength. You falter because you want someone else to validate, explain and defend your opinion. You falter because you want someone to pick up up from this falter instead of picking yourself up for once. You falter because someone else’s life just seems to be going so much easier and you think for just a second maybe you should do what they are doing.

The falter happens. It happens more often for some than it does for others. It’s not bad to falter, you’re allowed to falter. You’re allowed to wish for someone else to be your strength. However, you did not get to where you are today by relying on someone else. You are who you are and where you are today because you have relied on your strength, which only makes you stronger.

It’s a short one today, my conductor of thought was distracted and the train with my inspiration continued on without me.

But I do leave you with this:

“You’re allowed to scream, you’re allowed to cry, but you’re not allowed to give up.”

And though she be but little...

she is fierce. -William Shakespeare

I have lived by that quote for so long, I didn’t realize how my fierceness has been projected. This past week I received, on two separate occasions by two separate people, the best compliment that I could have ever asked for.

I know you’re sitting on the edge of you seat, wondering what words could have been texted to me to receive such an honor. Are you ready? Because I don’t think you are…. The greatest compliment that I received, not once, but twice was that I am…scary. Of course, you’re more than likely taken aback as I was when I was first told this because if you like me, I hope you think (as I do) that I am as sweet as pie. Upon requesting further explanation of how I was “scary” another term was used. I was told that rather than scary being used to describe me, that intimidating would be a better word.

Well let me just go ahead and give myself a pat on the back. I’m intimidating and though I am little, I am fierce. I have lived up to a quote that I have looked to more times than I could count. I’m proud of that. I’m proud of my fierceness. I am proud of my intimidating persona.

Now with further explanation from both individuals, the reasonings as to why I’m intimidating were explained. You see it is intimidating that I know what I want at the young age of 23. It’s scary that I know what I deserve and will strive for it in all aspects of my life. It’s intimidating on how I will stand up for myself. It’s scary how boldly I will love someone new considering the long track record of scars on my heart. It’s intimidating how hardworking I am and how dedicated I am to all aspects of my life. It’s intimidating how independent I am. And the list goes on.

(Side bar: some of these reasonings are based off my own interpretation due to me deleting both conversations).

I am the way I am because of the cards life has dealt me. I am the way I am because of the challenges and tests God has placed in my path. I am the way I am because my parents raised me to be that way. I’m proud of who I am. I’m proud of the decisions I have made and the lessons I have learned from said decisions. And I am damn proud of the fact that I am a strong, independent woman who will not falter at the slightest sign of hardship. I am proud of the young woman that I have become and there is no compliment or person that can alter that.

So call me what you will. Call me intimidating. Call me strong. Call me bossy. Call me a bitch. Call me whatever you want because the words you throw at me are just bricks that will build the pathway to my success.

As for my other strong, independent women out there. Alpha females may not run in packs, but we can’t get through this without each other. I encourage you to help me light the match to burn down the stereotypes, the discrimination and judgement of one another. If we are going to change the world, we have to do it hand in hand.

For those who are reading this, I want to thank though who called me scary and intimidating. To me, it means I’m doing something right with my life. And I leave you with this:

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” -Mohadesa Najumi

What happened to us?

Do you remember when we were naive and used to run around saying we wanted a love story like Romeo and Juliet? Clearly we didn't understand that tragedy, but we were so sure that's the type of love story we wanted that we wouldn't budge when someone told us of our insanity. What happened to that person? When did we settle for the mediocre love that has been established? When did we say it was okay to doubt ourselves because of another's "love"? When did we become the hook up culture? When did we stop standing up for the type of love that we want and deserve? Of course it's slightly hypocritical of me to sit here and be frustrated when I haven't stood up for the type of love that I want and deserve. However, it stops now. It stops because I'm really tired of wasting my time on gentleman who could care less. It stops because I know my self worth. I know what I deserve and what I want. And I'm not saying that I'm all sunshine and rainbows when it comes to being with me because it's not. I've got demons, scars, fears, doubts and etc., who doesn't? However, sweetie if you can't handle me on my worst of days you certainly can't have me on my best of days. And because I don't settle for anything less than my best in my work and life, why should I settle for less than the best when it comes to someone loving me? As they tell me, my Prince Charming is on a sea turtle, traveling the land...but is stubborn like I am and won't stop and ask for directions. And honestly, in this moment I'm glad he's taking his time. Because it gives me more time to learn to love myself, to learn about myself and to better myself. I'll leave you with this: If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

Fear

Fear, I’ve written about it before. I know I’ll write about it again. It is not one of those things you just wake up one day and get over.

Besides there are many things to fear. Like spiders, I do not like spiders. Then there is fear of not knowing what is going to come. We disguise it, just as we disguise our true selves.

Unfortunately, fear is like a virus. It breaks everything down, weakening not just our spirit but our soul as well. And of course we can all sit here and say that everything is going to be okay. That if we just take things one thing at a time that we can beat it. We are right. I always look for the silver lining, but there are times the lining is more like a dull gray that’s blurred because I don’t have my contacts in. That’s the point where it gets scarier.

At that point is when the real panic sets in. Where the panic attacks and the meltdowns begin. I know because I have had them and I will have them every once in a while. We of course can try to compartmentalize our fears, tuck them far away. Or we can face this like a group meeting together.

Hi, my name is Heather Martin. I’m scared that one day some things that have been said to me are going to turn out true. I’m scared that my stubbornness is one day get me in a deeper hole than I am already in. And I’m scared of my student debt. I’m scared of spiders. I’m scared that I won’t find a reasonably priced apartment in a safe area close to work. And I’m scared that I’m going to end up holding myself back.

I had to get that out tonight, but I hope all is well with you. And I leave you with this: “Fear does not stop death, it stops life”

Shine Bright...

Shine far, be a star." I gotcha there for a second and you're welcome for getting Shine Bright Like A Diamond stuck in your head. And yes that was a reference to the song from the Disney movie, Life Size. I'm in love with the stars and I'm not referring to the celebrity ones that we all obsess over. I'm referring to the ones you see when there isn't a cloud in the sky, the ones we wished on when we were younger and still do now. I'm working on being my own star. Note: my following description of a star will lack scientific language. Google it if you really want to know the scientifically correct terminology. A star is made of gas, light and energy, however it makes its own energy. It takes everything in around it, does a little scientific dance and makes its own energy and light. And while we mere humans don't have that scientific process, we can still do the same thing. We can take everything around us. The love, the anger, the sadness and so on and use it to become a light, our light. Of course you can't forget the middle step of doing a little dance. I know it sounds crazy (I can go and have my head checked, but I'm gonna blame my concussions), but if you honestly look at the night sky tell me what you see. You'll see millions of stars, shining bright despite the dark night sky. The scientific dance that a star does isn't just a one time thing either. It's a constant never ending process. It's constantly going, growing and glowing. Just. Like. You. I'm not saying your dance is going to be easy. You're gonna trip over your own two feet and over others as well. You're gonna fall down on your ass and get knocked on your ass. And you're figuratively going to break your leg (I seriously hope that theatre related figure of speech is strictly figuratively for y'all). But you're going to take that all in, do your cute scientific dance and you're going to shine bright. And it's going to be constant because you're gonna go and grow and you'll grow. So please, be your own star. I'm sorry this is so past due, my mind has been everywhere and no where lately. Not to mention anything I start to write just ends up sounding like an older lady rambling off to herself and never getting to a concise point. Until next time, I leave you with this: Be a bright, pink flamingo in a flock of dull pigeons.

"What is love?"

“Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more.”

If “What Is Love” by Haddaway didn’t just pop into your head and if you didn’t start doing the Roxbury nod…you’re deprived. Do us all a favor and go educate yourself. To piggy back off my last post and because I’m feeling particularly inspired, it’s going to be about love tonight ladies and gents.

As Haddaway so clearly asked, what is love? I’m not an expert on it; I’m just a hopeless romantic who believes in the fairytale (thank you Pretty Woman and Disney). At the same time, those fairytales aren’t my fairytales. My fairytale of course involves my very own Prince Charming, but he’s an educated Prince Charming who knows how to carry on a conversation.

That’s partly what’s wrong with society’s view of love. Love is the physical attraction and if things are great physically then that’s all that matters. Here’s your wake up call society, that’s not all that matters. Of course the physical attraction is there, it’s the cause of wanting to know that person. It’s the mystery of who that person is, what they like, what their dreams are, what they are passionate about and the drive of wanting to get to know them intellectually and emotionally intimate…that is love.

However there are somethings that need to be cleared up about love if we are going to move forward in the right direction.

Disclaimer: I will try to make the following as gender neutral or equal as possible.

1) Love didn’t hurt you. Someone that didn’t know how to love you hurt you. Don’t confuse the two. You’ve been hurt, I’ve been hurt and sometimes the hurt lasts longer than other times. We can’t give up on love because of the hurt though. Love is beautiful, it is kind, it is strong and with the right person it can withstand the storms that brews in our lives. So forgive those who have hurt you, ask for forgiveness from those you have hurt and open your heart to love again.

2) Timing is everything. They say it’ll happen when we least expect it. That we shouldn’t go looking for it, but we should let it come when the time is right. Whether or not you are religious or believe in destiny and fate, have faith that the right person will come at the right time. Because right now it’s not the right time for you. You’re not where you want to be in your life to have that commitment. Because love it takes your time, your commitment and your life and turns everything upside down. Have faith in the grains of salt in your time turner. You’re one day closer to finding that one person than you were yesterday.

3) They aren’t the sun, you are the sun. (Yes that was inspired by the fabulous Christina Yang). One thing that we tend to do nowadays is completely lose ourselves in a relationship. Instead of I it becomes We. Don’t get me wrong, I fully believe in spending time together and investing time in one another. However, you need your me time. You need to go hang out with your friends without your significant other, you need to go grocery shopping by yourself or workout by yourself. Whatever you do, don’t forget to invest in yourself as you’re investing in them. You can’t grow as a couple if you’re not growing as individuals.

4) Steel sharpens steel. It’s not always going to be a 50/50 relationship. There are going to be times where you’re going to have to take more than you can give and vice versa. The right person understands that and will not complain about that. It’s going to be a challenge for the both of you and for your relationship. However, the right person doesn’t hog the umbrella in the storm. The right person holds the umbrella in one hand and holds you with the other.

5) Don’t play games with my heart. I will be the first to admit that there are girls that play games, however why do you think that some guys are called players? Not every girl plays games and not every guy is a player so don’t make that assumption going in. Actually don’t ever assume, assuming is the easiest way for you to get hurt. So don’t assume, just ask. And make sure the answered is spelled out for you until you fully understand, no matter how annoying you may seem. It’s easier to see things through plain glass than cracked glass.

I feel like this is going to have multiple parts as my blog goes on so we can all look forward to that. Until next time folks, I wish you the best and I leave you with this:

If it’s easy, it won’t be amazing. If it’s amazing, it won’t be easy. Wait for the fairytale that your children will strive for and your grandchildren will admire.

And I do declare...

That everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. First, I do apologize for being missing in action these past few weeks. Life got busy, but that's not considered an excuse when it comes to something you're passionate about. So I apologize for being lazy and will strive to be better. Now for the elephant in the room, it's time I address a topic that I have been neglecting: relationships. Why have I been neglecting it? Because I'm not an expert on it. I'm single and I'm currently stuck in the spot of scrolling through Instagram and Facebook and seeing at least three new people engaged, married or having children. Please do not assume that I am being a single bitter lady at the moment, I am over the moon with happiness for all of you who are engaged, married and having kids. And if I haven't congratulated you yet, CONGRATULATIONS! No I am bringing up relationships because I know it sometimes sucks. It sucks not having that special someone, it sucks being the third wheel and it sucks not being able to contribute to the boyfriend/girlfriend vent session. (To my friends, I am not bitter or complaining. I am so happy you've found your someone!) I just know that it gets hard. Ladies, we fall for the tricks guys play and we end up hurt. Gentlemen, I'm not saying you're entirely at fault. There are women who are female dogs and will use you for attention and to get what they want before dropping you like a dead fly. But I will tell you what my best friends tell me, my Prince Charming is on his way. He is just currently riding a sea turtle on land and refusing to ask for directions on his way to me. Gentlemen, your princess is on her way she's just lost and doesn't do well with the directions that she's given. (Yes that was a joke that is considered sexist, but I'm trying to make this as equal as possible for the ladies and gentlemen reading this. If that's not okay with you, just stop reading now.) Now for the bright side and silver lining part of my post, this time that we have waiting for our Prince or Princess Charming is probably the best time of our lives. We can learn more about ourselves. Take the 5 Love Languages quiz, for example. Learn how you love another, and it also applies to your friend and family. Let go of any anger you may be holding on to. Me? I'm trying to be more patient and let go of things that are out of my control. Start doing something new that you've been putting off. Finally take that yoga class, start trying out new recipes that you've Pinned or go fishing/hunting more. Finally start that workout plan you have been putting off. Or do something completely out of your comfort zone. Travel, this world is huge and I know you have a list just as I do of things you want to see. Cross things off those list. Hell, make a bucket list and start crossing things off of that list. I'm not saying it's going to be easy because it's not. Someone is going to give you the attention you've been wanting and you're going to get your hopes up only to be disappointed. You're going to get frustrated because you want what your friends have but you don't. You're going to get tired and frustrated of people telling you to be patient, that your special someone is on their way. But I want you to stop and look around at your friends who have their special someone. How many nights did you have to comfort them on the same things they are comforting you on? How many times did you have to tell them that it'll be okay and he/she isn't worth your tears? They are returning the favor now because they care about you just as you care about them. They aren't trying to lecture you, they are doing exactly what you have done for them. So please do not get frustrated and angry with them because they love you and are just trying to help. Love them just are they are loving you. And with that I leave you until next week. But I will leave you with this: "The timing isn't always right, but eventually destiny steps in. All you need is patience."

If it's broken, fix it.

You know one of the biggest ruts I have ever had to climb out of is never being good enough. At a young age, someone made me feel that I wasn't. The saddest part is that the reason why they made me feel that way is because I was independent, because I thought for myself and when I grew up I wanted to change the world. Maybe there are other reasons why they made me feel that way, but those were the reasons that I understand. I have been struggling with this notion since I was 10 years old. It was then that, in my mother's most famous words, I was going to try my hardest, do my best, keep my head in the game and have fun. Most days I only focused on the first part of those words. I tried my hardest and hardest and hardest, but it was never good enough. I was never good enough. My grades were good, I busted my ass in soccer and it just was never enough to have the one person I needed to tell me that I was good enough, that they were proud of me. Part of the reason why I went to college so far away from home was to try to escape that pressure, that negativity, my own personal down fall. The irony of it all is that I was the one who was putting the pressure on myself, I was the one surrounding myself with negativity, I was my own personal downfall. We are our own worst critic. The worst part is I didn't realize it until I was 21. I spent 11 years of my life, for a lack of a better phrase, wasting it. I'm not saying that I'm perfect now. But I figured out then that if I was going to change the world I would first have to change myself. For the past two years that has been the focus of my journey. As selfish as it may come across to some people, the first step was learning that I was good enough. That meant and still means changing 11 years of thinking the opposite. The 11 years of me fighting the self doubt that was suffocating me. The 11 years of just wanting to crawl under a rock and shut the world out so I would never let anyone make me feel that I was not good enough. Most days are better than others. Most days I don't have to wake up, look in the mirror and tell myself that today my hard work is going to be enough, me trying my best is going to be enough and I was going to have fun doing it. I am keeping my head in the game we know as life. Some of you think that the reason why I am writing about my struggles and my issues is to get sympathy. If you really know me, if I have let you into my tight knit circle, you would know that I am not the "woe is me" type. I am not a damsel in distress, I am a B.A.M.F. and in my own way I got this handled. I want to write these things because I am trying to be the person that I needed in my life when I was younger. I am writing because I needed someone to really warn me that it's not all rainbows and butterflies and that life is going to beat you to a pulp...if you let it. I needed someone to tell me that wearing the mask that I have worn for so long is not going to change what I was feeling or thinking about myself. That the only person who is in charge of the way I feel, of my happiness and of my life...is me. I want to write about these things so someone doesn't have to spend 11 years of their own life figuring that out. The world is damaged because we are to afraid to talk about the damage that we see in ourselves. I am no longer keeping my mouth shut. I encourage everyone to evaluate what you feel and your outlook on life. If you want to be the change you wish to see in the world, we have to start by looking in the mirror. You have to be honest though, truly honest with yourself. Change isn't easy and it's going to be scary, but you don't have to do it alone. If you need a positive word or any sort of reassurance I'm here. You don't have to tell me your story or any details, just ask and I will do my best to help. Until next time. As always, ask me anything your heart desires. And I leave you with this: "F.E.A.R. has two meanings: Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. The choice is yours."

Because the lining is always silver

First, I want to thank you all for the abundance of support that I received after my first posting. I won’t ever be able to express in words how much it means to me, therefore I am sending you all each your very own cyber hug from me :)

I struggled with figuring out what I was going to write for my second post. If I’m being honest, I even struggled with whether I should continue with my blog. However, mama raised me to always finish what I started.

I struggled with the direction in which I wanted to take my blog. I guess you could say I was in a rut. I think that everyone is in a rut though. Of course the depth of your rut may be different then the person next to you. But a rut is a rut no matter what. (Yes that was my attempt to be like good old Dr. Seuss).

Many people have asked me why I left Georgia if I was planning on coming back. To be honest, I never thought I was going to move back to the Peach state. I tried so hard to get out of here and after some time away I realized this was home. And where is the one place you can go when you’re in a rut? Home. That is of course, what I believe. My home happened to be where I grew up, however I define home as a place where you have your strongest and best support system. It is where you feel safe, loved and you just feel invincible with the people you have chosen to be around.

If you saw me during the rut I was in, you would not have recognized me. I know I am sunshine and that I am the positive one. However, I was the complete opposite. I had worked my way up to a corporate position after I graduated college. Literally, started from the bottom now I’m here kind of moment. Things started out great, however my job tasks seemed to grow, and grow and grow until it felt like I was doing seven different peoples’ jobs. I was stretched thin. I was stressing out because I wasn’t able to get my work done. I was even taking work home with me to try to stay on top of things and still ending up behind. I was having anxiety and panic attacks. Hyperventilating and crying were my new best friends. I was exhausted, run down, stressed out and I was not my sunshine. After one of those days, you know the ones where everything is going wrong and the whole entire world is against you, I looked at myself in the mirror and did not like what I saw. I had food in my hair, my face was red and splotchy from crying (yes I realize that makes me an ugly crier) and I was still short of breath and shaking. But it isn’t until we are broken that we know what we are made of. I knew I was made of sunshine and strength, so I decided to make a change. I took a leap of faith and am more myself then I have been in almost a year.

You can make a change too. If you don’t like where you are in life, make the choice to change it. Take a leap of faith. I can’t promise you that you won’t fall flat on your face because chances are you may. However, as they say fall seven times, stand up eight. I’m not going to promise you that it is going to be easy either, it’s not. You’re gonna doubt whether you should have leapt. You’re going to doubt if it was even a good idea. You’re going to doubt yourself to the point were you will try to leap backwards. What I can promise you is that if you keep falling from that leap your wings will expand and you will soar into the sunset. All of the blood, sweat, tears and doubting will pay off. It may not happen in a day, or a month, or a year, but it will work out…and that I can promise you.

My post may be a little late next week, I’m going to be traveling for work. However I will do my best to make sure I write. As always, feel free to ask me any questions. Thank you again for if you’ve read this to the very end. Your support means so much. And I leave you with this:

“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” -William Ernest Henley, Invictus

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