I'm Too Slow for the Matrix

First impressions are hard.

[forgotten-peggy-deactivated2022]

When you’re a Hamilton fan but you’re broke so you can’t afford the Hamiltome or the biography or especially tickets to the show or even plane tickets to New York and you’re just like

[omnybus]

Stu, let me ask you a question: how did you not realize until then that you had too many eggs? Nobody sells eggs in a big cloth-covered basket, so you must have done that yourself. That means you spent god-knows-how-long opening up twelve whole cartons of eggs, carefully placing each egg one-by-one inside a big basket, and then covering it with a big picnic cloth… and at no point- at no point- did you ever stop and think “gee, there might be TOO MANY FUCKING EGGS HERE”

You really have lost control of your life.

[omnybus]

I may have gone overboard with this

[foundingfatherstrash-blog]

@linmanuel you’ve made me think that I can rap and I don’t think my friends or family will ever forgive you 

[sleepingwiththegods]

I really hope Daveed Diggs has a good day today.

[zooeyss]

Daveed Diggs on Jimmy fallon

[blelbinems-deactivated20190925]

This… is a bucket.

Dear GOD.

[blelbinems-deactivated20190925]

There’s more.

NO

[seaweed]

https://instagram.com/p/BC0DholtT9L/

[bekahs-birds]

Skittles and Chase having a moment.

[becausebirds]

Best video you’ll see all day.

[keyblack-hl]

humans and birds can achieve proper communication through the s c r e a m t u b e

[newssciencedaily]

You’re so beautiful

You’re so freezing cold

[scribefindegil]

Mabel Pines chose love over fear and bet the whole universe on the word of a con man and won.

Mabel Pines didn’t get the summer romance she was looking for but in the end she was okay with that because she learned to love herself.

Mabel Pines thinks that every woman she meets is beautiful, including herself, and if you don’t understand how radical that is you’ve never been a twelve-year-old-girl.

Mabel Pines met a creature she idolized and it told her she wasn’t good enough and she punched it right in its smug stupid face.

Mabel Pines was terrified of growing up because of everything she might lose, and the narrative didn’t blame her or break her for feeling that way.

Mabel Pines cared more about friends and family than magic and mysteries and not only did the narrative validate that, her scrapbook ended up being the most important object in the show.

Mabel Pines is glitter and sweaters and cheesy pop songs and blurry group selfies and the biggest smile in the crowd and she’s also so, so, so much more.

This isn’t a “your fave could never” because those are weird and needlessly combative, but look, I know what kind of narratives girls get. I thought that my fave could never. And then she fucking did.

[idiopathicsmile]

you know what’s probably more fun than playing chess? cheating at chess

“ohhh would you look at that, my pawns found jesus and now they’re all bishops”

“so i realize it looks like i’m putting a thimble on the board but actually my rooks have been using their downtime to build another rook, one that’s better, stronger, faster—”

“hey welcome back. while you left to get a snack, those six pieces you’d captured slipped their guards, tunneled to safety and emerged right in the middle of your royal palace.”

“oof, looks like you’ve got my king cornered…maybe this is a good time to mention that shortly before we started playing, my pawns and knights revolted and instituted a representative democracy. feel free to kill the puppet ruler that was the one remaining vestige of our tyranny, you cringing servant of the crown. vive la revolution!”

[lizardywizard]

did you mean Mornington Crescent

[toolusingmammalgirl]

[sorion]

If you’ve never seen this video, WATCH IT!

[ellistruggle]

this is the best video I have ever seen in my entire life holy fuck

[prideandperdition]

THIS VIDEO MADE ME SO MAD I WAS EXPECTING SOME GREAT NEW STRATEGY

[stunningpicture]

Kids work together to create eternal recess

[amypopsbubbles-deactivated20180]

#community

[starredforest-deactivated201601]

trying to figure out someone else’s shower

[gothicprep]

obamacare BANNED all dog shampoo and now obama is in my home rubbing mud on my dog. he’s rubbing mud on my dog and laughing

[dear-moon-94]

Father and son have the most precious conversation about paris attacks (le petit journal)

[iwriteaboutfeminism]

This man helped his three year old son feel safe in the most beautiful way. 

[minutia-r]

“Where did you learn to fight like that?”

“I have three older brothers.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Wilson played first table on the chess team, Chester used to start crying every time he heard a sad song, Dan can really rock a cocktail dress and six-inch heels, and I wasn’t going to let anyone give them any shit for any of that.  So I had to learn to beat up people bigger than me pretty early on.”

[realkaijuhavecurves]

This is my new favourite post. Whenever there’s a female character who fights, it’s always because she’s learned from older male relatives. I’m gonna print this post and put it on my wall bc it gave me new hope for humanity.