TheSimodotsJournal

Hello this is Simone this will be my bog about my life and my thoughts of random stuff including dramas. Check out my other blog for more stuff. Link in the more links section.

[thesimodotsjournal]

Young sherlock 

Trying something new, but these were my thoughts thougout the show. I might post more of these if I have them.

1-3

I cannot believe that they switched the princess just to do this whole killing thing. But what is the bigger mystery to all of this? I also can't believe that they made Moriarty a friend. I guess it makes sense since they are both younger in this. I also find it funny how it is Hero Finns Tiffin in a very Harry Potter-looking place. Considering he played a young Tom Riddle. I also love the costumes. I think I am just a sucker for historical fiction.

4-

Omg they were actually recording his mother, like what? Is his sister still alive, and did his dad just fake her death? 

5 

What the what is actually happening? Paris wtf his dad is selling an orderless poison. What does this have anything to do with his sister? I get it likda linking to the Oxford murder plot but huh?

6-7 

So bea is alive and has been right under there noses but why did this even happen?

8 

The dad has just had her hidden right beside him like why? Just to have her work for him like i really dont get it. But ya i guess it was wrapped up nicely. 

[thesimodotsjournal]

Life update.

This week has been really hard for me. I know it is only Tuesday. But I already know how the rest of the week is going to be. My motivation to go on has been seeing BTS soon. But even that has been rough. I even did my nails to match the BTS theme (I did them myself, seeing as I can't afford to get them done). I really don't want to deal with this stuff anymore.

[thesimodotsjournal]

In a depressive mood, even with BTS this month

[thesimodotsjournal]

An Oldest Daughter's Dilemma: Running Out Of Space

As a 30-year-old, I have a small collection of things. I am a kpop fan and a book reader so I have a lot of albums and books. I also like to collect postcards from my travels. With all of this stuff I need a lot of bookshelf and wall space. Since I only have my room, where I work, sleep, and basically keep everything. It is really suffocating. I had to stop buying albums and books because, well, I don't have space to store them. I have basically filled my bookshelf, like it is stuffed. I have 2 rows of books on 1 shelf, and my albums are stuffed in with my popmarts. I would add more to my shelf on the wall, but it has bent before so I really dont think it can handle anything else. I also have books on my brother's shelf and on the shelf in the office. I am just a girl who has stuff that I want to put out and look at but I can't since the whole house is already filled.

As a kid, I have always wanted a vanity in my room, a place where I can sit and blow-dry my hair, do my makeup and skincare. But this would be a dream for a long time since I would need to have a place to have an office first and that is not going to happen for a long time. This reminds me of my friend saying that if they end up having more than 1 kid they will have to move since they both need an office. I really thought about how lucky they are to even have that conversation. I would love to have an office but with  living at home I really do not have that option since my dad already uses the office. I have thought of moving my office to the basement. But since someone moved in there, I could not do that. Although that person has moved out since, and that could be an option again. I would just be a little awkward when we have guests over since it would still be a guest room, but nothing that we can't manage for a little bit. Maybe I will do that once their stuff of the stuff is moved out. I have also though of using the play house as my office but in the winter even with the heater going in an out would not be fun. 

For now, I am trying to organize my desk a little better so that all of my beauty and all of my work stuff are in different places on my desk so that I can at least have areas on my desk. Also, keeping my desk clean it is something that I need to work on.

[thesimodotsjournal]

An Oldest Daughter's Dilemma: Dating

Oh, how hard it is. Because my energy and focus are on family and work, I have never dated. I really do mean ever. As a 30-year-old, I really feel like I am behind in life, the most in this aspect. I have always wished/ dreamed of dating in school. Holding hands and studying together just seemed like the best. Maybe this has to do with my love of academia? Now I am 30, not in school anymore, never dated, still living at home.

I don’t really know what to do about my love life. My whole life, I have been forced to do things for my family to the point where I could barely keep friends. I mean, even now, I don’t really “hang out” or even text anyone because of my work and family. How am I supposed to be in a relationship? With my lack of time and commitment to the relationship and the fact that I don’t/can’t really leave my house, how am I supposed to meet anyone?

I have been thinking of joining one of the apps, but is there really a point in that? Would people even want relationships on them? Or are they all just for hookups? Does this depend on the app? What app am I to get then? I have so many questions, and no one to ask since almost everyone I know is in a relationship. And met them in the world. As someone who is just maybe trying to start now, I really don’t know where to begin. I want to meet someone naturally, but I unfortunately don’t leave the house ever. So meeting someone in the wild naturally seems impossible. I have had aunties recommend people, but nothing has come of it. It really does seem that dating apps are my only options. But I really don’t know how to start. I am an introvert, so talking to someone is not easy for me. The thought of constantly needing to talk to different people to see if we are a match just seems like a lot of work. But it is something that I have to do if I want to try to be in a relationship.

[thesimodotsjournal]

An Oldest Daughter's Dilemma: Sacrifice

I really wish that my family knew what I sacrificed. I did not apply to any out-of-province universities when I did apply. I knew that if I got in, no one would look over my brother’s homework or report card. To read his IPP stuff and make sure that he is getting the help that he needs. He would not have anyone to even help find a tutor. I did all that. What would happen if I left? I did not want my brother to go through what I did with dealing with everything school-related by myself. Looking for tutors, making sure that I am on top of everything for school. I also stayed to make sure that my brother got to focus on school and didn’t need to help my dad with stuff.

I really wanted to study in BC I wanted to go to Simon Fraser or even UBC if I got in. But I couldn’t even try. I knew that we were a little strapped for money, so I didn’t even try. I never even handed in the applications because I knew that we could not pay for the applications to all the universities I wanted to try to get into. There was also the fact that out-of-province university costs more than in-province and in-city ones, where you don’t have to pay for a place to stay, and the tuition is slightly lower. I knew that we did not have the money for that. I had too much responsibility at home to leave it to someone.

Even now, I want to move out really, really badly, but with the economy being what it is and not having a good-paying job, there is no way I can even leave. I also know that if I do leave, all the cleaning and nothing in the house will be done. Or that my mom would have more work to do because no one does anything. Last night, I still had to fix the internet even though I had written a standard operating procedure for everything in the house. It literally involves unplugging the wires and plugging them back in. Why do I have to do it when anyone can do it?

[thesimodotsjournal]

An Oldest Daughter's Dilemma: Help

I wanted to talk about something that happened to me back in November. I was in China with my mom on a little trip. As I was on the top of a mountain, my brother messaged me that the internet had stopped working. I had to try to troubleshoot it as I was on top of a mountain, and to try to find the account number so that they could do something if they needed to. But do you want to know something funny? The account is not even under my name; it’s under my dad’s. He could have called at any time and tried to fix it, but nope, he had my brother message me overseas to try and fix it. I don’t even know why my brother didn't try to fix it. Like I am on top of a mountain. I did manage to fix it. But the point is that I should have been able to enjoy the limited time I had on the mountain (we were on a tour), enjoying the view and taking photos.

[thesimodotsjournal]

An Oldest Daughter's Dilemma: Job

When you work with your parents and live with them at my age, it really does make you feel like you are a failure in life. This is why I have been working hard to find another job. In this job market, it is very hard. I have been looking at everything, and finally, I got an interview for a sales associate job. It really is nothing that I have not done before (I did a job like this in university), but with me having 2 degrees, 1 minor, 1 project management certificate, and a nail certificate, you would think that I would be hired. But it took me years just to get an interview, and I really have no idea if I got the job, and I really do not need all these degrees and certificates to get a sales associate job. Although I am happy that I got the interview, I would be happy if I got this job. I just wish it were more. It makes me feel like I have spent all this time and effort on my education to just be doing a sales associate job. I mean, there is nothing wrong with the job, but with my loans, I don't know if a job like this can pay for what I wanted a full-time job to do for me. I wanted to be able to move out and live on my own with this job and be able to live off of it. Because it is a minimum wage job (or at least I am pretty sure it is) it would be really hard to find something that i can move out with. I guess this is another single tax thing. Because if rent is supposed to be 30% of my paycheck, that would only be $720, which I don't think is even a room rental fee in this economy. Let's say 50% of my income, $1,200, would get me something, but then it would be really hard to do everything else. I would still have to live at home. And I really can’t do this anymore.

[thesimodotsjournal]

An Oldest Daughters Dilemma:

Part 2 

I hate that I am treated as a second mom to my dad, my brother, and his partner. My mom was having a girls' day out. I was at home because where else would I be? I was telling my brother what I was going to make for dinner. It was more like I was making myself food. Not a suggestion of what I am making for them.  But nope, he said, “sounds good”. And just like that, I was expected to make it for him. My dad then came home because his plans fell through, so then I had to make it for him too. At this point in my life, I want to live independently. This includes making my own food. I am willing to do all the shopping and everything. But there is no room in the fridge for anything. I don’t even know what's in there. One time I cleaned it out(because who else would clean it out thoroughly), and I found that we had 4 big tubs of margarine. 4!!!!

The thing is, my mom has said she cleaned out the fridge. Clearly, she did not. Besides the fact that I have to mother my mother. I don’t have room to put things that I want to cook. I also have to deal with the fact that I have to clean the kitchen. Every day I am cleaning the kitchen. I get having to do it, if I live alone there is no one else there to even help.  But nope, every day I have to clean the kitchen before I can even make breakfast. Even though I was the one who cleaned it last night. Its not even like I don’t put in the work I do. I even do the cleaning of the house. 

I do these tests once in a while to see how long it takes for something to be dealt with. This test shows that no one will do anything about it unless we are having a get-together or unless I take care of it. I am talking about dirt or a stain on the floor, something getting washed. Or even just putting something away. I have not been able to use the dining room table in a month because it is so full of things that are not mine; sometimes I don’t want to be in my room. I did get a standing desk on the treadmill, and seeing as I'm the only one who uses it, I really hope that I will be able to use that as just my own and that I can do my hobbies on it. At this point, I am thinking of getting a loft bed. But seeing as I have a double/ Full bed, it is really hard to find one that fits all my criteria. Which is to fit my full/double bed, not too high so that I can sit upright, but not too short that I can't fit bookshelves underneath. I have also been thinking whether I should just surround my bed in bookshelves. But this does not make more room for me to have a hobby area in my room.

To recap 

Cooking for my dad and my brother, even though I did not plan to.

No room for groceries

Lots of cleaning messes that are not mine

No room for me to do anything other than in my room. 

[glowettee]

im actually dying i love your account so so much i’ve been stalking it for like an hour. do you have any tips on being a girl blogger or glowing up?

girlblogger tips

hiii angel!! omg, that's so sweet of you! thank you so much! i’m really glad you’re here ♡ and yes, i definitely have tips.

i think girlblogging is a very amazing hobby, and you don't have to just limit yourself on tumblr. pinterest, substack and even your OWN blog like using wordpress or squarespace is girlblogging too.

okay so i feel like a lot of people ask me this question. which is gooD! but i feel like girls get stuck thinking they need a perfect theme. YOU DON't. i have changed my theme MULTIPLE times within like two years. so, don't think you need to limit yourself into a small box. MAKE UP YOUR OWN THEME TOO! not just the popular girlblogger themes.

also, a little note: i am NOT consistent with my theme lol. my theme right now is all over the place and i'm working on rebranding it right now. it's supposed to be a princesscore theme... but it's kind of chaotic right now lol!

your vibe comes from:

what you reblog consistently

the colors you gravitate toward

the mood you express

the little pieces of your life you share

basically, your blog becomes aesthetic because it’s authentic, not the other way around.

okay one thing i learned about blogging, especially for girls and on tumblr. POST LIKE YOU'RE TALKING TO A FRIEND!!! the best girl blogs feel personal. you do NOT need long essays. it can be a thought you had in the shower, random things you like. something you're obsessed with right now. relatable things all girls go through at some point that YOU actually relate to. girls connect with honesty more than anything. that's why here and there i sprinkle in personal essays and posts alongside my guides. like i made a post in october last year about my depression and liking a boy at my work. think of your blog as your LITERAL DIARY! but not too personal please! your safety matter more than relatability!! curate what you wanna share or not. DO NOT OVERSHARE. THIS IS SOCIAL MEDIA, REMEMBER!

you reblogs matter just as much as your posts.

reblog things that make you feel something

keep your tags tidy or cute (i FAIL AT THIS MISERABLY! LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES!)

add little comments sometimes

okay for glowing up, i assume you're talking about real life. just KNOW GLOW UP IS NOT JUST LOOKS! it's your actual habits, mindset and how you overall treat yourself.

drink water like it's your job

go on walks

clean you space everyday

wear things that make you pretty

invest in yourself everyday even if you don't feel up to it

unfollow people who drain you

find hobbies

leave the people who hurt you alone

also, engaging with other girlbloggers is my FAVORITE HOBBY!!! like and reblog other blogs, answer asks. send cute, genuine messages. join girl-coded communities (i have my own with fifteen-thousand members called girlblogger society, feel free to join if you're not already in it now.)

the more you interact, the more your blog becomes part of the ecosystem. and PLEASE LET YOUR BLOG EVOLVE!!

i hope this helps if you ever want help with your theme, your vibe, or even your first posts, just send me another ask. i love helping girls build their little corners of the internet ♡ tysm for this ask btw, you are so sweet <3

[thesimodotsjournal]

Job Hunt Updates

Well, I got rejected from 2 jobs today. I also applied to 2 more. I haven't had an interview in a really long time. When I get one, I will really need some practice. Let's get to that part of the job process first.

[thesimodotsjournal]

An Oldest Daughters Dilemma: Living at home at 30

As someone who is still living at home at 30 and works for the family business, I really feel like a failure in life. I still live with my parents and off my parents. While my friends are out here with their S/O looking at houses, starting a family, and moving careers, I don’t even have a career to move. I am trying so hard to find a job, but nothing seems to be working, and I feel like my parents don’t even want me to find one. I feel like they want me to help them for the rest of their lives, but the thing is, I am really done with helping them. I have been since I was 10. I don’t have friends who want to hang out with me anymore since I am on call 24/7, and my self-diagnosed depression is getting too much. (To be fair, I don’t know if I would hang out with me either) I have never dated since all of my energy has been put towards my family and looking for a job. I didnt even have much energy to put into friends (which might have been the problem)

I really want to start fresh. In life and so many other things. I have always just wanted to work a 9-5 and get to relax when I get home. Making dinner, cleaning, and hanging out with friends. This dream seems like it will always get a dream. I need to acquire a job to be able to achieve this. Or continue with what I am doing and just move out. Having that distance between my parents and me, I think, will make a big difference. I think the distance will make them rely on me less, and I will be able to relax more and maybe even get my life back. I really want my life back. I don’t think I even know what my life is anymore.

[thesimodotsjournal]

January 2026 Update

Well another month has gone by with my crazy sleep schedule of sleeping when people wake up to go to a 9-5. I really hate it but I don’t know how to change it. Sleep has just been something really hard for me these past couple of months. There was one weekend that I slept for only 6h total the entire weekend. I tried to hang out with friend this month but I don't think they want to hang out with me. I don’t really blame them since I really am not that fun since I am basically so depressed that I am not fun. I want to do more with my life I want to find a full time job that will get me out of bed but nothing is really working. Jobs that I think I would at least get an interview in is not even happening. I really don’t know what is wrong with me. With all of this and some other stuff my skin has not been happy my eczema is going strong in my face and on my belly and a little on my chest but my arms and legs have been really itchy with no patches.

I did however finish reading a book that was on my list that was also a library book. My goal of reading 12 books this year is off to a good start.

[thesimodotsjournal]

Believe what you might wish, dear reader, this author knows best that a small amount of make-believe often has the power to remake reality, to lift us up from drudgery of humdrum existence. With a little imagination, the impossible seems possible. Dreams seem tangible and yet, genial readers, one must eventually wake up. - Lady Whistledowndown Bridgerton Season 4 episode 1

[digitaldiary]

cozy-maxxing

[thesimodotsjournal]

My Museum of Failure

I am turn 30 this year and I live with my parents my brother and his boyfriend. I have been wanting to move out for 5 years.

I have been trying to find a job for years but all either don't hear anything or get rejection letters.

On that note I haven't had a job interview in over a year

I have been working for my dad since before I graduated and I and really scared that I cant do anything more than that. ( I hear the aunties say that its not a real job and I do agree)

I have never dated. And I don't know if I ever will. This is because I truly think that my life is such a mess that there is no point

It took my 6 years to do university because I basically failed 2 semesters.

I have not actively hung out with friends in months that it makes me feel like I am a hermit.

My mental health and sleep has been so bad that i sleep at 5-6am and wake up at 1-3 and then i feel bad for wasting my day.

It has been really hard for me to reach out to my friends because i know that they are busy. when i do get the courage to reach out and I don't get a response so it make me fee even worse.

I scroll on my phone like its a full time job.

I got rejected from all but one university program.

I have never really actively hung out with friends ever.

I spend most of my days either watching shows or playing games.

Every job that I have had outside of the one working for my dad has been minimum wage.

I have gained 30 pounds in the last 5 years.

I want to be selfish and do things for myself but i makes me feel bad.

[thesimodotsjournal]

This was the first day on the river cruise that I went to this past Christmas to see all of the Christmas markets.

The first day was Basel Switzerland. Its a beautiful city. ( I think i just like how you can walk and transit around everywhere). We spent the morning getting a walking tour of the city and the Christmas market then we had free time. We spent our free time walking around the market and the afternoon at the Kunstmuseum. I loved the museum it had a lot of different artists that I have studied in school and could not imagine actually seeing them in person. We really could have spent the whole day there. In fact we only left because they were closing. And the bus that was picking us up to go back to the boat was close to arriving. That was our first day in Europe.