SinkingSiren

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[thesinkingsirens]

Landlord: I think you guys would be very happy here.

Marlene: Oh no, we’re not together. We’re not a couple, definitely not a couple.

Sirius: Wow, you seem pretty insulted by that. What am I not good enough for you.

Marlene: Oh please-

Lily: Guys don’t do this here in front of the landlord.

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Sirius: I now see why the Aztecs worshipped chocolate as a god.

Lily: That is not even close to factually accurate.

Sirius: Moony said it was

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Sirius: We’re about to do the Jinx Challenge. You want in?

Remus: What’s the Jinx Challenge?

James: We Jinx each other, then drink.

Remus: How do you win?

Sirius: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?

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Sirius: When does the soap sing?

Remus: What?

Sirius: I’ve watched eight seasons of this show, and the soap hasn’t sung yet.

Remus: That's- That's not what "soap opera" means oh my god-

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Remus: *is very angry*

Sirius: Sorry, you just look so cute when you’re angry.

Remus: Well I’m about to get real fucking adorable.

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Sirius: Guess what.

Regulus: What?

Sirius: No, you have to guess.

Regulus: uh? i dunno?

Sirius: Grandpa is in a coma.

Regulus: WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME GUESS THAT???

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Remus: Yesterday I overheard James saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Sirius replying “Trust me.” and I have never moved from one room to another so fast in my life.

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James: *trying to convince Remus to ask Sirius out*

Remus: Hey James, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life?

James: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.

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Remus: Aww, Lily did the dishes!

Sirius: How do you know I didn’t do them?

Remus: Because Pads, once, when all the knives were dirty, you cut a bagel with your key.

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James: thank you for agreeing to meet with us.

Remus: …I didn’t agree to anything, you just walked in—

Sirius: we don’t have time for a history lesson.

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Sirius: Hey Moons, are you awake?

Remus: Of course not. It's three in the morning, two days after the full, I'm laying here with my eyes closed, and having this conversation with you. Why would I be asleep?

Sirius: Was all that sarcasm really necessary?

Remus: Was waking me up necessary?

Sirius: For all you know there could be a fire raging through the common room.

Remus: And for all you know I could have started the fire to avoid this conversation.

Sirius: ... Well, you didn't do a very good job...

Remus: Oh, fuck off.

[thesinkingsirens]

Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry, in the shack, meeting Sirius: Do you trust him…

Remus: I absolutely trust him.

Hermione: He’s not some kind of maniac, right?

Remus:

Remus: … I absolutely trust him.

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Sirius: Live fast, Die young, Leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say!

Remus:

Remus: Maybe you should say something else.

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Sirius: so how many jars of applesauce would you say is too much?

Remus: what does that even mean?

Sirius: like hypothetically, say if a jar of applesauce was bought by someone in this room, not me, from a Shady Source, and it turned out the jar of applesauce was spelled to duplicate a... lot... when opened. and maybe this not me person doesn't know how to make it stop so they've just been stashing applesauce but ran out of space.

Sirius: at what point does it become too much applesauce?

Remus: why can't you make normal problems for me to fix?

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Lily: Are you okay?

Remus: Not really. I have this headache that comes and goes.

Other three Marauders: *walk into the room*

Remus: Oh look there it is again.

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Sirius: I hate you

Remus: Well, I hate you too!

Sirius, sobbing: Y-You what?

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Remus: *walks into the dorm* Is something burning?

Sirius: just my burning desire for you

Peter: Padfoot set the rug on fire.