dottolone/panttore angst | thunderstorms
tags: slight comfort (first half), angst & hurt/no comfort (second half), mentions of character's death and grieving.
note: pantalone is afraid of thunderstorms
something about thunderstorms always managed to disturb pantalone to his core. the rain itself wasn't particularly terrifying but rather the sound of lightning striking from the sky was incredibly unpleasant. it reminded him of his childhood, seeking shelter beneath the bedframe as he curled into a ball, hugging his knees.
that underlying fear of thunder has never truly left him. if anything, it seemed to have worsened with age. thankfully, rainy seasons were very rare in snezhnaya. however, it still didn't ease the discomfort in his heart whenever thunder did occur.
tonight was no different, pantalone was struggling to stay asleep while the storm rages on. he tossed and turned in bed, the sound of thunder becoming more intense by the minute. tremors shook through his body as tears begin to gathered in the corner of his eyes.
unfortunately, a loud 'boom' near the bedroom window was pantalone's last straw, he couldn't tolerate the sound anymore. he desperately covered his ears with his hands as tears rolled down his cheeks.
this was truly a nightmare, as if the sky itself was punishing him. a gentle, reassuring hand came to rest on his hip, startling pantalone for a moment as he rolled to over to face his husband.
"are you alright, feofan?"
"... i'm okay, did i wake you?" dottore only shook his head, though the yawn that slipped from his lips betrayed him. he brushed the back of his hand against pantalone's cheek, gently wiping away a few tears. "don't worry about me. however, you seem very pale. what's troubling you, love?"
pantalone did his best to smile, though it wasn't convincing enough to ease dottore's worries. "just a nightmare. no need to be so concerned-" another loud strike of lightning could be heard, nearly making him jump out of his skin. without thinking, pantalone immediately clung to dottore, wrapping his arms around him tightly.
in a moment of weakness, more tears spilled from his eyes as he let out a few sobs. dottore didn't hesitate to hold him closer, whispering gentle reassurances into his ear despite the drownsiness in his voice. his hand rest on his lower back, gently rubbing circles as he tries to calm pantalone down.
"it won't hurt you, i promise. you're safe, dear. take deep breaths." dottore peppered kisses against his husband's temple, using his thumb to brush across his cheek as he wipe away more tears. "i h-hate this. i wish it would just disappear already, please."
"i know, i know.. let me hold you until the rain stops, okay?" he pressed a tender kiss to the banker's nose, offering a gentle smile. dottore decided to distract pantalone, quietly rambling about his latest research and making a few lighthearted jokes.
surprisingly, this genuinely helped pantalone a lot. although he was still trembling, he managed to feel more at ease. the storm itself didn't feel as intimidating as before and it was thanks to dottore's kind reassurance.
his warm embrace kept pantalone grounded, holding him until the tears slowly stopped. the soft tune that dottore hummed finally granted him a peace of mind, slowly drifting back to sleep comfortably. thunderstorms became more bearable to endure.
.
.
.
.
.
another difficult night as lightning struck harder than usual and the rain poured heavily. pantalone couldn't concentrate on his work, a sense of dread and anxiety lingering in his chest. all he could do was grit his teeth and silently plead for the storm to pass.
regrettably, his prayers went unanswered as the storm grew harsher, the sound of trees banging against the windows. the relentless noise was driving him mad, his heart was ready to leap out of his chest.
pantalone immediately rose from his seat, quickly rushing back to his quarters without hesitation. paperworks be damned, it will be resumed on another day.
he was already on the verge of tears, his body responding with faint tremors. the moment he reached the bedroom, he pushed the doors open with force and immediatelly called out for his beloved husband.
"zandik! where are you? it's raining and i don't want to-" an unfortunate reality came rushing back to him, being reminded of what he had lost. dottore was gone, any traces of his presence had long since perished. his expression fell into a somber realization, his hands trembled at his sides as he steps inside.
"right.. h-how foolish of me. you're no longer here by my side." another round of lightning echoed nearby, causing his knees to buckle as he collapse to the floor. the ringing in his ears was incredibly uncomfortable, the tears that he held back finally spilled over.
all he could do was cry, covering his ears in a desperate attempt to muffle the harsh sound coming from the thunderstorm. through tears, his gaze settled on a familiar coat that was resting on a nearby chair. he didn't waste another second as he immediately reached for it.
it happened to be one of dottore's coats, something he always wore during rainy and snowy seasons to keep himself warm and comfortable. but he was no longer here and pantalone could only find comfort in wrapping himself in the coat that dottore had left behind.
he slowly curled himself into a ball, just as he had done before in his childhood. it didn't occur to him at first but he was gripping the coat tightly, as if he was embracing dottore into a warm hug.
sadly, it could never replace the warmth that dottore once provided. no matter where they were, he was always there to comfort pantalone and hold him close. what had once become easier to endure had returned to make his life a living hell once more. thunderstorms will always be unbearable, especially without zandik by his side.
