Smol, Red and Constantly Angry.

Indie RP sideblog for Ruby from Steven Universe Cartoon.

[thesmolhomoloaf]

quartzlegacy‌:

“   … do you guys know how to do anything other than swear? it feels like there’s a big outrage over swearing every week..   ”

“UUuuuuuuuhhhhh-”

The red gem fidgets, twitch running through her finger tips. Sure, she might not be one to swear as often- but that’s not saying much, seeing she spends most of her existence fused with other, much more polite gem.

“Yeaaah... Swearing bad. Seriously. Don’t do it. Yep.”

[thesmolhomoloaf]

quartzlegacy:

Steven couldn’t help but laugh at Ruby’s words, nodding his head sagely after a moment, seemingly considering her ‘advice’ quite carefully. He rubbed his chin, pursing his lips thoughtfully as he spoke. “Right, right… Pearl’s definitely out, she never plays Steven themed games.” He snapped his fingers suddenly, looking back at Ruby with an enthused grin. “I bet Amethyst would play, though!” 

Oh, he knew she would. A chance to toss Steven around and not get yelled at for it? This was right up her street, and if Ruby would be there to make sure he didn’t get hurt, then.. Was it a terrible plan? Absolutely.

“Yeah.. Yeah! It’s all coming together!”

Ruby was also a rather reckless gem- and to be pefectly honest? As much as the Steven Toss started out as a joke attempt to lighter the mood, the red gem had to admit that it did sound like fun... If tossing a child back and forth between two gems can be called fun.

She shifted on her feet, perhaps feeling tad guilty how attractive the new game sounded, but then she grinned.

“Well Amethyst is always a good joice- and I have a feeling that we need at least three players anyway.” There is no way there would be any Steven-tossing allowed if she didn’t know someone can catch him. Ruby wasn’t that irresponsible.

She had a feeling Sapphire will scold her later anyway though.

[thesmolhomoloaf]

@quartzlegacy

continued from here

Ruby’s face flew from various expression at the boy’s offer for a new ‘game’, showing of just as much reluctance, mother-hen worthy worry, and slight amusement, before it finally settled on a tentative smile. Ruby was very well aware she was not the most calmest of gems, and that she tended to overreact- a lot- but seeing Steven was not that bothered by his close fall (though honestly, he probably would have been alright), it was enough to make an effort to curb any outburst of incredulousness.

Although...

“I think that trial for ‘Steven Toss’ should be done far away from cliffs. ...And where Pearl doesn’t see.”

And perhaps where Sapphire doesn’t see either, though that one will be much harder.

[cayennecrush]

HANG ON I THINK ITS WORKING

[nocitrushere]

Blink or wink~

[steeringthetimeline-blog]

Just a small psa that I may or may not disappear for a while over the next few days, it really depends.

I am just pretty sure I am about to hit that low phase of my depression and while I feel fine at this moment (thanks to my few lovely friends and especially my ultimate bro @arubysoldier ) I don’t know how long that will last.

I really don’t know- maybe I will be able to keep positive and busy and I will drag myself from the pit before I even fall to it, but most of you guys knows success varies.

Still, I love you all and I hope you all have a good month!

[thesmolhomoloaf]

quartzuniiiverse:

       “it just… doesn’t add up… none of it        makes sense… was zircon right..?”

“Uhhh... you okay there kiddo?”

This was... odd. All of them has been overjoyed at his return- Garnet especially, as that was a path she wasn’t able to predict on hundred percent- but once the elation faded and the Crystal Gems started working on finding a way to get Steven’s new friends back to Earth, the boy’s mood turned solemn.

Troubled.

“What’s eating you?”

[thesmolhomoloaf]

freetoexistasme:

“Don’t apologize. And yes you are. Ruby, you’re so special to me…”

She didn’t like hearing Ruby put herself down like that. They both knew it by then. Her little hands went too Ruby’s, and she held them as best she could. Now more than ever, she thought she needed to reaffirm how much she meant to her. Hopefully it helped.

“I know you don’t think highly of yourself. But I think the world of you. And I… I don’t think you’re selfish. I just wish you could see the great things about you that I do.” If that helped, that would have been great. If it didn’t, then that was just too bad. She’d do everything that she could to make Ruby feel better… Even if it took the rest of the day to do so.

She tried- she honestly did.

She tried to see this- this amazing gem Sapphire like to talk about and think about. Most days she managed it; she managed it perfectly when they remained fused or when it was shortly after they unfused- but the doubts always came back at one point, striking harder than ever, clawing at her self-esteem and making her feel awful.

But she always tried- and she will try this time too, because this was Sapphire, and she knew that Sapphire wouldn’t lie to her, and that by trying she will make her blue gem proud and- honestly? That’s the biggest reward and always was- seeing Sapphire smile.

And so she nodded, sniffling, and rubbed her eyes clean.

“...Okay. I- I will try, okay?” she murmured, moving closer to grasp Sapphire’s hands in hers, rasing them to her lips. She closed her eyes, and just breathed, soothed by the faint chill coming from the blue gemstone.

“...I love you.”

It was funny word,’love’. It was something Homeworld had no word for, though Ruby knew love, in fact, happened there. She knew plenty of Rubies who had a ‘close’ sparing partner- and always kinda envied them. She never looked past the initial layer that time- but now? Now she knew better.

[discount-supervillain]

I love rubies.

[garfeybaby]

Steven Nine-Nine

Insp.

[horsenoodle]

<:’)

[userboxuniverse]

[thesmolhomoloaf]

freetoexistasme:

“I love them. I do. But you’re my everything, Ruby. Without you… I wouldn’t know what to do or how to go on,” Sapphire confessed. She wouldn’t do anything drastic without Ruby, of course. But if something happened to her flame, the truth was that she’d be lost.

The desperation in Ruby’s eyes was so apparent to Sapphire. Of course it was; she was looking right at her. She brushed her bangs slightly to the side, just so her eye would be visible, and she glanced down at Ruby’s hands. It was the easiest place to look right then. She hated that Ruby felt so little self worth. Even after all those years… She thought that had changed, but it clearly hadn’t.

“I wouldn’t do anything to myself. You don’t need to worry about that.”

“But I can’t imagine being apart from you. I need you… We need you. Not just to be Garnet. You bring so much more than that,” she said. She looked back up, and she hoped Ruby understood.

“You’re kind, and you have such a big heart. And you’re brave, and loyal, and smart… You’re so much more than what anyone on Homeworld ever could see a ruby as. Those others don’t define what your gem type is like. They don’t define you. You do. And you leave such an impact on those who know you. I know you’ve made an impact on my life.”

The word felt like stolen straight out of her mouth- I wouldn’t know what to do without you too!- be she swallowed them back painfully, her breath shallow and slightly afraid. And if she was honest- slightly ashamed as well. Because this was her fault, wasn’t it? That Sapphire felt the need to confess all this, that without Ruby she’d be lost.

See? You did this, her mind whispered to her maliciously while Ruby reached to cup Sapphire’s cheek, you always make her sad- and after all she sacrificed for you.

It had her swallow again, her throat too tight for her to speak up- yes, yes, she knew she caused this (she messed up), because once again she spoke up before she could think about it properly, and now Sapphire felt the need to comfort her when it should be Ruby doing the comforting part- because she knew that Sapphire so much wished that the path they saw would not happen and yet it did.

“I’m sorry!” she managed finally, voice wobbly and eyes teary “I know- I know I get selfish about this, always complaining about me, when-!”

But the blue gem’s words stopped her, stiffling her words, and Ruby listened with slightly vulnerable expression. Giving a wet, shaky laugh and looking away.

“I- what? No, I’m not- I’m not... all that...”

[thesmolhomoloaf]

freetoexistasme:

“You are not!”

She knew how Ruby was. If she wanted, she could just leave Ruby alone to burn herself out. That wouldn’t help here, though. Sapphire didn’t care how risky it was or that she’d end up burned. She wanted to help, and the only way to do that was to hold on to Ruby while she had a chance. Ruby was so much more than what she thought of herself as.

Without waiting, Sapphire moved closer again. She tried to put her arms around Ruby in a comforting hug, but she knew it might not connect. She had to do something, though. Anything. Maybe if Ruby just stayed still a moment…

“Don’t you dare say what you’re about to,” Sapphire said. She knew Ruby well enough to guess what she might have been thinking. Here was hoping that she could get through to her.

“You’re so much more than just a ruby to me, and I will never think of you as anything like the others. You’re unique! And without you… Without you, I’d have no reason to be here.”

Perhaps that, if anything had her breath hitch and had her flame die out, giving Sapphire chance to hug her, the words shaking her to her core. It wasn’t the heartfelt confession- though that certainly helped, small part of her whispered- but the admission that Sapphire would have no reason to-!

“But- but the others!” she cried out, wide-eyed and panicked despite herself “What about- what about Pearl, or Amethyst- Steven-?”

She was slightly aware she jumped from one concern to another- none of which had Ruby’s wellbeing in mind- but she didn’t care. The red gem was used to being selfless, sometimes to the point it must have frustrated her friends, but as usual Ruby was too focused on someone else to understand their fears.

“They need you! You wouldn’t just- would you...?”

She didn’t even know what she was asking, but the sudden chill of dread running through her form had her look desperatedly into Sapphire’s covered face.

“Sapphy..?”

[thesmolhomoloaf]

freetoexistasme:

“Ruby…”

Her poor, sweet Ruby. Just because it was rubies that seemed to mess with their family didn’t mean they were stupid. Sapphire had never thought that. And now her poor Ruby was feeling so bad over what had happened. They had foreseen what could potentially happen as Garnet, but they’d counted on the best outcome. Sapphire hated seeing Ruby so upset.

“Come here,” Sapphire said. She approached Ruby, uncaring of any heat that was radiating from her love’s body, and reached her hand out to try and reassure her. Sapphire wanted to do what she could.

“Just because those rubies did bad things doesn’t mean I think any differently about you. Look at me,” she said. “I love you. More than anything.”

“But I am just like them!”

She flinched from Sapphire’s hand and her heat spiked, and though she rubbed her eyes clear they welled up again. It was hard not to feel some amount of responsibility for their actions- even harder it was to look at them and not see herself- or what she would have been like if she never met Sapphire, or if she never jumped in to save her. A grunt- a gem that was good only for mockery. Easily tricked and considered oblivious.

Just a Ruby. There are thousands of them. 

Not important.

“I always mess up too, you know it! Everytime we fall apart it’s my fault, because I am- because I am-!”

[thesmolhomoloaf]

@freetoexistasme

Continued from here:

“I just- I am just-!”

She made a noise of frustration, getting up before starting to pace around. She hated this- hated how bad the whole Homeworld situation got lately, how it was her kind that caused all the trouble.

“Rubies, always Rubies!” she cried, yanking at her hair “Why is it always Rubies? It’s just-” she sniffled, rubbing her eyes angrily “Stupid, stupid Rubies-” Always messing up, always causing unpredictable consequences, always putting their ragtag family in danger- Oh how can Sapphire even stand her?

[thesmolhomoloaf]

Snowstorm

[thesmolhomoloaf]

ofswordandshield:

     If it was getting any warmer in the makeshift burrow, the fusion sure didn’t feel it. The cold had permeated every inch of their body- soaked through the thick outer layers of their winter clothing, seeped into their skin and settled within their very bones, and it was all they could feel. It was everything; a pain so desperate- so frantic-that they’d have clawed their very way out of their meat to escape it, and yet it left them so exhausted that they couldn’t even muster the energy required to reopen their eyes. When Ruby spoke, she was lucky to have received the soft, barely audible moan that she did. 

     All my energy is going into shivering. 

     Their own voice in their head felt detached- distant and quiet and so, so tired, but they clung to it nonetheless. That was them- that was Steven and Connie; their thoughts, their emotions, their existences- and the fusion clutched onto the feeling of being not alone like a lifeline. Like perhaps it was the only thing still keeping them alive- this knowledge that if they died, so did the components of their very being. 

     My body is struggling to regulate its temperature- the outside is warming up, but my body is still frozen. It’s still in the process of dying. 

     Those hands in their hair were nice, though, imminent death aside. Warm fingers carding through heavy, wet curls, occasionally brushing over their scalp and bringing to the forefront of their hazy mind memories, all blurred at the edges and muffled but present nonetheless. Steven was no stranger to the affectionate pat to the head every once in a while, and though his acting mothers had been so alien for the better part of his entire life, he still cherished their awkward, albeit loving gestures of adoration regardless. Connie’s mother had done this before as well; less nowadays-a gentle affection reserved for late nights and sick days, but the love and comfort the girl had taken from the simple act of her mother brushing her nimble doctor’s fingers through her mass of dark hair had the emotion of longing well up within the fusion’s chest with such intensity that they couldn’t have stopped the sob of “Ammi-” from slipping past their lips if they’d tried. 

She fought the urge to rub their hands or to hug them in order to warm them faster. That would be bad- very bad, if she understood Stevonnie’s insistence to warm them slow correctly. Still, she felt the burrow was not warm enough- barelly a room temperature, and that was not good. So after she was sure the fusion’s hair was dry- as was the hat she dried of earlier- she slipped the piece of cloth under their head before getting up to start pacing around again.

Focusing, she made the heat she was radiating as even as it could be- not too overly hot, but not too low either- slightly above a sunny day feel, so that she spread the warmth evenly, finally, finally, bringing the den to the correct temperature.

It made her feel like she had been running for days. Sweat was gathering on her brows and she felt what a human could describe as ‘winded’- but that was okay, she was doing what she should be doing- though her eyes strayed towards the exit tunnel of the burrow more often than not, the red gem feeling anxious and lonely without Sapphire here to hold her hand.

No, no- focus.

With another part of her job done, she returned to Stevonnie’s side, moving to run her fingers through their hair again, somehow sensing it calmed them both. She started babbling- about anything really. About the Temple back home, about the mess Amethyst liked to make and how it drove Pearl crazy- about herself and Sapphire and Garnet- though it made her miss the word Stevonnie let out in a sob.

“Oh- oh, shhh, it’s okay, I’m here, alright? I got you- I got you-” She murmured to them anxiously, shifting closer to bow down and press her cheek to their forehead briefly, drawing in a shuddering breath. “I got you- it will be okay, you will see, we will get through this together, yeah?”

They will get through this. They had to.

Ruby will make sure of that, even if it would be the last thing she does.