The static guy @thestaticguy - Tumblr Blog

theyre called wizards with guns the full video is here all of their skits exist in a connected universe full of call back jokes theyre a small sketch comedy troupe and all of their stuff is objectively peak

New sketches every weekend! We are Frank St. John and Michael Romaniello

unconventiononthelawofthesea

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

akindlyowl

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

vileengine

i actually did draft a bunch of abortion jokes but ultimately decided not to keep them

rllysleepyy

if you’re a fat person not looking to lose weight, i love you. the weight loss industry is going bonkers right now and i’m proud of you for continuing to take up space. kisses u on the forehead

prettygalash777

❤️

polish-lolita

dognonsense

one of the cats broke into the upper cabinet, pulled out the tupperware of treats, opened the tupperware, ripped open the plastic bag with the freeze dried treats in it and ate them all

leaving a beautiful mess on the kitchen floor for us to wake up to <3

their tenacity in the face of obstacles astounds me

dognonsense

me and gf both thinking its the other persons cat because our angel baby wuldnt do that

dognonsense

i swear it was catto

she was just standing in front of the cabinets in the kitchen all guilty like

she even left the balcony to do it

she loves the balcony

she was thinking of reoffending i bet

but twilight watching her made her nervous

dognonsense

and now i just caught twilight sitting on the counter in front of the cabinet.

shes even closer to the scene of the crime

how culd it be my angel baby tho

dognonsense

if guilty?

why cute

my final statement on the matter

poxsonmenace

what tragic horror character trope are you?

that which cannot be known

oh god. how did it come to this? to some extent, you've gone so far past your own idea of "human" that it must be kind of fun, right? maybe. i'm not sure. as an artefact of cosmic horror, you're wild and wacky and colourful and people are probably drawn to that, but you will never let them know you. the mystery intrigues for a while, but it'll wear everyone down. it'll wear you down, too. who are you? do you remember? are you so far gone that you can't go back? and maybe that's the most tragic thing of all- becoming so distorted in your identity, and for so long, that no matter how hard you want to return you can't ever seem to figure it out. but you've learned a vast amount up in the stars, and people will work hard to get to know you. it doesn't matter who you used to be. sometimes, you should just start from scratch: give yourself a name, a birthday. let someone celebrate these things with you.

Tagged by: @mischieflawed Tagging: Y.O.U

peoplegettingreallymadatghosts

Would you fuck me rough or soft? 🎀☀️

Wed start off slow and soft, easing my cock into you, till your opened up and ready, then pounding your hole till your a fully cock addicted messy boy toy, using your body hard and long

strbrryfemme

"you bruise so easily" take advantage of it then

touhouweed

just saw someone call trans unity an "unobtainable fantasy," getting real sick of the doomerisms yall are hooked on these days

touhouweed

What pisses me off the most is that y'all don't keep this doomerism to yourself, it would be one thing if you just wrote this shit in a diary, but y'all are putting that out there trying to scare young trans people into being divided. spreading the idea that trans unity is an "unobtainable fantasy" only serves to make trans people feel even more alone and desperate than before, during a time where being united will give us strength.

Trans people should be encouraged to find safety and community in one another, and not just with trans people that are "like them."